Ask Me Anything on Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you on this beautiful Tuesday? Today is Ask Bernadette or AMA, Ask Me Anything, and we do have some great, uh, predominantly business questions, uh, to get to today. But before we do, I just need to, you know, ask for your prayers and ask you to be thinking about all the individuals who lost their lives in, in Las Vegas over the last few days. For those of you internationally listening to the program, and maybe you don't know, but there was a massacre— is the only way to describe it— over the weekend. I believe it was, if I'm not mistaken, it was Sunday evening, and 50 lives were lost, let alone those that were injured and traumatized, and the families and friends and the communities that lost these people who just simply went out to take in and enjoy a country singer's concert. And yet, you know, was just devastated by somebody with mental illness who just never got the help, obviously. And yeah, and just wreaked havoc not only on Las Vegas but all the lives that were lost and touched and injured, and it's just heartbreaking. So prayers, prayers, prayers, and well wishes go out to anyone and everyone impacted by that situation. On a different note, fall has definitely settled in, at least here in Atlanta. I'm not sure wherever you are. Obviously we're speaking globally, so, uh, you have summers, falls, and winters. It has been snowing out west in the States, and Atlanta finally has kind of cooled down into the 70s. And yet at the same time, the Northeast is going to be getting some heat coming their way. So it is, it is fall, it is October. Can't believe it. We have one more quarter, 3 months left of the year. Hopefully your goals, your dreams, your aspirations are being pursued and met. And at least today we're gonna be able to help you with a number of, uh, business/professional development questions and some advice and tips that you can be using, uh, for yourself in whatever situation that you have going on. And if I don't address a question or I don't provide you, um, an answer to something that maybe you're dealing with, then feel free, please, to always reach out on Facebook or Twitter. Shedding the Bitch, and you can do it at any point in time, and I will get back to you with a response with some tips and advice, sometimes some tough love. At the same time, you can email me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. Of course, Deborah's out there watching and listening and taking your, your questions, stories, or challenges, so be sure to also um, go out to our Facebook and Twitter page, even do a shout out to Deborah. She would love that. Uh, so let's see, um, we've had some great guests, uh, over the, over the years actually, but over the last several weeks: Katherine Carrigan, Andrea Arena, Michael Moore, Karen Rands. Uh, so be sure to go out to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio Or you can go to sheddingthebitch.com and see our archive of the programs as well. We've been videotaping a lot lately because a lot of our guests have been in Atlanta. So you can go out to YouTube, our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel, and check out those videos. Let's see, what other news, what other news, what other news? I think that's it for now. But so let's jump into this. And, um, we will just dive right in, and we might even go straight through and get these, uh, questions answered for you. And, uh, we'll see. We'll— we might take one break in between, but let's dive into Ask Me Anything. So our first question, um, is actually from Krista, and she is a, uh, recent new— does that make sense— business owner. And she's right now just sitting down and trying to lay out kind of her business plan. And she got really stuck when it came to being able to identify and define who her perfect client is. Now, this can be— this question, even though she's a business owner, this can be related to whether or not you're looking for that perfect job, whether or not you're looking for that perfect company, whether or not you're looking for that perfect client, but it's within a corporation or a business that you are an employee of, let alone just for someone that has their own business. So this can be kind of applied in many aspects. So how do I know my perfect client? Well, that is simple, and yet a lot of people get stuck on it, because especially those working for themselves who feel that they have a service or a product that anyone can use. And the first thing I will tell them is, that could be true. However, think about it. You don't have enough time in the day, or enough money, or enough resources, or employees, whatever the case might be, for you to be able to market and sell and support anybody and everybody. At the same time, I wanna also emphasize not every individual or customer/client is good customers and clients. So that could be because one, they can't afford maybe your service or your product, or maybe they aren't able to leverage it as effectively as, as another, um, client or another potential customer. Uh, it could be for a number, number of reasons. It may not be the type of, um, company size-wise, industry-wise that you feel that you can use and leverage your expertise and experience and skill set in. And so what you really wanna do is to answer that question, how do I know who my perfect client is, you need to kind of run through just a whole list of questions that you would answer for yourself as far as getting down to what that perfect client is. So let's run through them. It's really easy to start with kind of the psychographics or the demographics of, a potential client, whether that is a consumer. So, you know, if you're working B2C, which means business to customer, or it's B2B, which is from one business to another business. So psychographics are kind of, are, you know, if it's individuals, what is their gender, what is their income, What is their location? What is their, let's say if we move to businesses, what industry are they in? How big or small are they? What type of clients do they serve? What type of products and services do they serve? So there's a whole kind of list of questions you can answer to build out that profile of your perfect client. But then there needs to come a level of questions and investigation, so to speak, that you really want to go through to then get more around what is it and whom is it that you want to be serving. So like I said, not every customer is a good customer. And what I mean by that is, and in this case with Krista, She recognized that there is one customer that is easy to acquire, and that's a really small, like, solopreneur type of customer base. However, they can't afford her services. Well, she takes them, she takes them on at times, but has to reduce her rates in order to do that. Well, that's not really serving her well. One is When you start making those compromises and start making those changes, devaluing yourself first off, I explained to her that you can always bring your prices down. So say, you know, you find your perfect client, and we'll get there in a second, but you find your perfect client, and they're like, well, I really have a budget of X and yours is Z.— and yet you really want to work with this client because maybe they'd give you referrals, maybe they are a good logo, as I call it, for your roster of clients. So you say, okay, you say to yourself, okay, then I'm willing to, you know, take a cut in my rate there. But at the same time, what you might say is, well, I can meet your budget, yet I'd have to adapt the service to kind of work into that budget. So say for instance, their budget is $1,000, your services are $2,000. Well, you may not provide the same level of products and services for that $1,000 that you would for the $2,000. So you compromise and you negotiate, you kind of figure out options. But let's get back to who the perfect client is. So there's that opportunity, and you might decide that that is a perfect client for you. Well, someone might, another customer prospect might come along, and they don't quite fit in however you described your perfect client to be, what those psychographics would be, what those demographics would be. Then you're asking yourself, okay, do they have the level of revenue that would allow them to pay for my services without any reductions, and you kind of figure out based on past experience or maybe just from overall knowledge and experience in the industry that no, you're, you know, this particular industry or this particular type of company or type of customer, they're always going to be wanting to, you know, for me to discount my rates and discount my services. And that's not going to allow me to meet my objective. Well, then that's not a perfect client for you. So it's subjective as well as it's objective. There could be, your perfect client could be or could not be kind of the type of environment, the type of cultures, the type of business structure that you feel that you can best serve. So let me give you an example of that. When I first left corporate and went out on my own as a business coach and consultant, The one thing I was committed to was that I did not want to work with other corporate organizations. Now, the reason for that is just because of the experience that I had and the kind of the trauma of losing my job and my career and the type of person I was. And if anybody, you know, who's listening typically knows my background. If you don't, you can go online and read or see about it. But I had decided that even though I came from corporate, my being fired from corporate and the reasons for being fired, I didn't want to go back and be in that environment again. So I chose that corporate organizations were not my perfect client at the time. Well, over the years, it's been about 8 years now, that's changed because I changed and I kind of got my head around the fact that what I provide, my services and my products I provide, corporate gained great benefit from. And there is great value to serving that population, that target client. So I then readjusted my target client and that perfect client profile and started to include them. Well, you might come up with that same scenario. You might decide that you're better in one industry than the other. You're better working with women than with men. You're better working in a skilled labor type of industry or company than you are in a professional services type of company. So you just run through all these different scenarios and all these different questions and all these different psychographic demographics to best define your perfect client. Now I'm gonna just add a little bit to this that extends from this question of a perfect client. You then need to ensure, to be successful, you need to ensure you stick with that perfect client profile, which means that if someone comes along and they don't fit this perfect client, you have decisions to make. Now you can always say, well, they don't fit my perfect client, but they do provide me an opportunity to extend my reach into other industries, or they are a good logo for my client list, even though they're not my perfect client. However, you need to be careful because if all of a sudden you're making exceptions to the rule and/or you're acting out of desperation or scarcity, that maybe, you know, you don't have the money and the income coming in that you need, and this person's coming along giving it to you. You need to be careful of that, because if all of a sudden you sign that piece of paper, that agreement, you even take, you know, their retainer or take their monies up front, as many consultants and coaches do, but then you're miserable because the reason why they weren't that perfect client is for multiple reasons within your profile that you didn't want, you didn't choose to want to work with that type of company or individual, well then you being unhappy or being frustrated or being stressed or anxious about taking that client on can cause that much more anxiety and that much more of an issue for you. At the same time, like I said early on, not all clients are good clients. Not all money is good money. So even if that client that doesn't fit your profile comes along but offers you, you know, the monies that you're looking for and the target maybe income goal that you have, you could land up— and I'm, you know, a perfect example of that— you could land up working with them. However, one, you're not even happy about working in that type of company, that type of culture, that type of industry, that type of size of company, let alone, uh, you're not making the monies that you wanted. Or even if you are, it's not worth the anxiety that you're feeling every time that you have to go into that client, or every time you pick up the phone to call that client, or anytime that you're working with that organization. So you have to be careful about Once you define your perfect client, you want to stay as close to that profile as possible, because obviously that profile matched your goal, whatever that might be pertaining to your business, pertaining to your income, pertaining to what, you know, however you defined your goal. All right? So hopefully, Krista, that makes sense as far as Finding out who your perfect client is. All right, let's see what is up, because we're just going to continue on so we can get as many of these questions in as possible. The next one is— and I can so relate to this, I wonder if you can too— basically it's, I'm so overwhelmed and anxious, I can't seem to get myself I can't seem to get myself organized and focused. It's hurting my ability to get anything done. Now again, this can pertain to any individual, let alone whether you're a business owner or you're a corporate professional. I'm so overwhelmed and anxious, I can't seem to get myself organized and focused. It's hurting my ability to get anything done. Ah, everybody take a deep breath, ah, because we probably can all relate to this, if not even at this current time, but at some point in time. We all get overwhelmed, we all get anxious, and when those things, you know, kind of come at the same time, it can be, it can be very, very, very stressing. And, and that stress is then causing us to not be as productive as we want to be. So, excuse me. So whether you're an individual, a business owner, or corporate professional, the first and most important thing I tell my clients or anyone that asks, like yourselves, is that that's all around getting whatever's going on in your head out of your head and onto a piece of paper. We tend to, we tend to get very anxious and overwhelmed, and as it's swirling around in our head and without putting it out on paper in black and white, it tends to just create more and more, almost like a, you know, a tornado. It's just, you know, swirling and swirling and becoming bigger and bigger and bigger. And until we say, okay, wait a minute, there's a solution to every every problem, every situation, every anxiety, every stretch, every bitch, as we call it here, until you kind of acknowledge that and then you sit down and you, as opposed to being emotional, you get logical and you lay out a plan for addressing that situation, you're going to continue to be overwhelmed and anxious and stressed, maybe depressed, and that is going to ultimately if it, you know, if it doesn't from the very beginning, cause you to all of a sudden lose focus, procrastinate, avoid, emotionally eat or do other things. It's very detrimental, not only to your productivity and your focus, but to yourself and to your health and to your well-being. So what can you do? All right, so the first thing that you could do is get a journal. And you know how much I talk about journals, um, because I just find that, again, black and white, and journals just keep everything organized. So you just don't have a loose piece of paper that once you're done with that, you kind of throw it away. You want to— you want to be working through these problems, these opportunities, these ideas in, in an organized place that you can hold on to. Because a lot of times you're going to be laying out kind of a solution, a plan for addressing whatever it is that's going on. And to do that, you want to be able to kind of keep it organized and maybe on a list and refer back to it and make notes about it, that kind of thing. So get yourself a journal, um, even if you have to go out and buy one. And first, kind of, you know, put out there, write out what it is you're dealing with, what's getting you overwhelmed, what's getting you anxious. What's getting you, you know, to not be productive? Whatever that situation is, write it out. And write it out in as much emotion, as much detail, as much specifics as you need to. And I can guarantee you as well that the minute you get it out of your head and you actually see it on paper, on black and white, It's not that the situation goes away, but you do kind of gain a sense of breath, a sense of relief, a sense of a weight coming off because you now have kind of taken it out of your head and put it on a piece of paper. So you look at it and you're, you know, you've explained why you're overwhelmed, what's causing you to be anxious, you know, what's causing you to be unorganized and why, you know, how it's hurting your ability to get anything done. And then you kind of, and that could be, you know, maybe it's money, maybe it's your work, maybe it's a boss, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's the bills stacking up, whatever the case might be. And then after that, you simply say, okay, so what are my options for resolving that or mitigating it or preventing it or just totally doing away with it? What are my options? What are my possible solutions? So, you know, I've gone through situations where if I'm having a money issue, for instance, and this is going back 5 or 6 years, but when I was having a money issue, I sat down and I said, okay, so I need, you know, to increase my income. Well, you know, and 'cause it's causing me stress, it's causing me anxiety, it's causing me to be fearful and desperate. And it was just causing all this angst. And I wasn't able, just like this individual, I wasn't able to get anything done because I was just too distracted. And so I put down kind of what all my options. Well, I can sell something that I own. I can go out and look for clients. I can take on a second job. I can, you know, so forth and so on. And all of a sudden, again, you're feeling a real, you know, kind of a relief, a sense of just shedding, as we call it here, a shedding of that anxiety, of that, stress, of that overwhelm, because here now in black and white, or if you use a blue pen or whatever, you're beginning to see a plan coming into place in order to address it. And so now that you have all— you see all these options, then you, you know, then you can come up with kind of 1 to 2, 3 things that you could be doing to take care of each one of those options, or to determine if that option is a, is the option that you're going to go with, or you're going to go with that one, but you're also going to do X, Y, and Z. So if it's something about, you know, money, let's say, and I'll give a couple examples. So if it's about money, you want to increase, you know, the, the amount of money that you're making, then you could kind of lay out the options of what you have there. I'm going to sell something, I'm going to get a second job, I'm going to pursue more more prospects, to get clients, I'm gonna find other products and services that I can sell. And then you can determine, you know, okay, so for that selling of an item, what is it that I could be selling that would give me some income? And once you determine that, you say, okay, well, is that the smartest thing for me to be doing? What are the pros and cons? Of my selling my car? What are the pros and cons of going after more clients? What are the pros and cons of taking on or having new, more products and services to sell? So all of a sudden, here you have your stress, your overwhelm, your anxiety, you know, described, and then you have all the options to solving that problem, And then you have a decision as to which one of those options, one or more, you're going to pursue. And then you have the pro and con, you're looking at the pro and con of that, because not every option is a pro. Some options have cons to them. So for instance, if, okay, so you have to sell the car, and you have get new clients, take on new products and services, take a second job. Well, taking on a second job could be a major con because it takes away from you being able to focus on your core, your core job or your core, you know, clients and business and prospecting. As well, it impacts your family and your relationships and your children. Selling the car could be an option. The pros would be, you know, you wouldn't have that expense anymore. Now you'd be, you know, switching out because you'd have to ask yourself, well, I need a car. But do I need the car that I have that has, you know, a high monthly bill and high insurance, or can I go and get a different car? But does that different car cause me pros and cons? And you lay those out and you— so it's all a decision. It's almost like a ladder of decisions and options that you're considering to then finally get down to a solution. The same thing could be done for, say for instance, you want to find a different job. So, and the reason being is you're unhappy where you are, you're not making enough money, there's no potential, so forth and so on. You don't like the culture. So you know, the issue that you're overwhelmed and anxious and getting distracted is that. And then your options are to switch jobs, to switch a team, to ask for a raise, to take on new responsibilities. You lay out the pros and cons of each one of those, and then all of a sudden you're finding, you know, this, this plan is coming into fruition, and that plan is something now that you can act on, and it's something that can fuel your focus, your energy, your confidence. You feel kind of more in control because you don't have it running around in your head, you have it laid out in a plan. Make sense? Okay, so we are gonna take a break, and when we get back, we're gonna talk about, ooh, we're gonna talk about when your coworkers don't seem to be pulling their own weight and you're having to pick up the slack. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sharpschools.org. Sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. It is Ask Me Anything, AMA, or Ask Bernadette, as we always call it. I take your stories, your questions, and your challenges, and I provide you some tips, advice, and sometimes some tough love. And if I can't answer your question, then I kind of engage the vast network of experts and resources that I have to make sure that you get the proper answer. 'Cause there's, you know, just some things I don't know, right? So be sure to go out anytime to Facebook and Twitter, Shedding the Bitch, and post your question, story, or challenge. At the same time, you can email me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. Get ahold of me somehow. I'm on LinkedIn. You can go to sheddingthebitch.com and reach out to me there. Whatever the case might be, just get the help and the support that you deserve. In order to kind of get yourself in a good place, so you can be as productive and effective in your career, business, and life as possible. Alright, okay, so the next one is actually coming from a recent situation that someone had that I then encountered, and so they were asking me about— excuse me— they have a coworker, actually they have a couple, but we'll focus on this one. They have a coworker who is not pulling their weight at the office. Now, not only are they not pulling their weight, but they're creating a lot of drama. Can you relate? They're creating a lot of drama in the workplace, and she's having to pick up the slack and having to pick up a lot of the work that this individual is not doing, let alone, you know, having to be confronted with and deal with the drama. Uh, we're not necessarily going to talk about that, although I can touch on it, but let's first look at what happens when a coworker, a teammate, whatever the case might be, a family member isn't pulling their weight and you're left doing the job, doing the work. Well, the first thing I'm going to have to be brutally direct with you about is who says that you have to do the work? Who says that you have to say yes, or you have to take on someone else's work and effort and job? Now, you'll come up with 5,000 different reasons to me as to why that is. Well, because if it, you know, then it doesn't get done, or then we're all kind of, you know, blamed or held responsible for it, or whatever the case might be. However, you have a choice that you either, you know, just stick to your standards and your work ethic and do your job and keep your head down, so to speak, or you accept that you are doing someone else's job and accepting the fact that they're not pulling their weight and accepting that workload onto yourself. It's a choice. It's a choice. And though this person was very stressed out about the scenario that they're dealing with they really brought it on themselves is all I could, all I was able to tell her is she made the decision and she makes it pretty much every day to take on that individual's work, you know, and allows them to get away with not pulling their weight. And once that person made that decision, she made that decision, then she really can only get frustrated and and blame herself, not the other person. Now, what I proposed to her to consider and, and do is first get it— get direct and go right to that individual. And the way you want to do that, because you don't want to inflame a situation and you don't want to go out and attack and, and, and accuse and judge someone— you can always just approach it from an inquiry, a concern, and you can simply say, "Hey, Judy, you know, I've noticed that blah, blah," you know, whatever work that you're supposed to be doing, "isn't getting done, and not only myself, but other team members are having to pick up that slack. Is there something going on? Is there something, you know, that, you know, I can help you with, or that, you know, you're dealing with that's causing you to not be able to, you know, finish and complete and even do the job that you're supposed to be doing. It's a way of really, first off, being compassionate and empathizing with that person. That person could be dealing with something that you're just unaware of, and they're not willing to kind of necessarily offer up. At the same time, they could just be a lazy worker, but you approaching it from that perspective as opposed to an accusing or a very abrupt or curt place, that will just get them on the defensive. Here's an opportunity for you to make them aware that you know that they're not pulling their weight, but you're doing it in more of a of an inquiry type of way, and then you might learn that they are dealing with something, but you could also learn that they're just lazy and they tell you to mind your own business, and then that's when you need to get assertive and, and simply say, well, it's not my role or responsibility to take on your work, and I'll need to get this addressed if, if you and I can't work this out amongst ourselves. Um, you owe that to yourself. This isn't about her. It's not really even about you, but it's— well, it is, but it's more so making sure that that person is accountable and responsible for what they're assigned to do, because the minute you decide to take on their burden, their work, then, you know, you kind of take ownership of it, and now you're accountable to whatever stress and anxiety that you're feeling. Now, So you approach them and they aren't dealing with something, they're just lazy, and they tell you to mind your own business. Well, then you have to decide whether you continue taking on their work and then adjusting to that, because you can decide to take on their work, and because you don't want to be all stressed out and wigged out and you don't want to create havoc in the, in the office or work environment, go. Then you accept that, and you accept that dynamic, and that you should just let go of anything you're feeling. Now, 9.5 out of 10 times, that's not going to happen. You're going to continue to be stressed, you're going to continue to, um, you know, be overwhelmed and anxious about it. And if that's the case, then one, you don't decide to take on someone else's responsibilities. And you'll need to address it with the manager, the boss, or supervisor, because you already tried to address it yourself and that, that didn't work. And in order to kind of protect your sanity, you do need to get someone else involved. And again, it's not going at it in a way of accusing or blaming or being kind of emotionally amped up or being dramatic about it. It's simply, you can even go to that boss and just simply say, hey, look, you know, Judy's not pulling her weight. I'm taking on more and more. I, you know, I feel that she needs to be doing what she's being paid to do. And you always kind of want to think about what's in the mindset and what's in the, not agenda, but the objective of, in this case, the HR person or the boss or the supervisor. You know, no boss, no supervisor, no HR person wants to be paying somebody for doing nothing. Now, not to say there's not bad bosses out there, bad managers, um, but 9 out of 10 of them will not appreciate someone kind of taking up space. So you just bring it to their attention, keeping that in mind on their end— what's in it for them— is that you're not able— the office is not able to get as much done because there's one individual that's not doing what they're supposed to be doing. Then you can say, and yet at the same time, it's also creating great stress and burden for me, let alone the fact that you're paying someone for work that's not being done. Now, the next, the next layer from that might be you, you do all those things, you talk to the employee, they don't care. You talk to the manager, they don't do anything about it. Then it's up to you to decide. You're either accepting that situation and continuing employment there, as miserable as you are, or you're saying, okay, this isn't an environment that I care to work under. Remember what I always say, not all money is good money, and therefore I need to do something differently. And that could be, you know, look for another position in the company, look outside the company, whatever the case might be. If, however, if you decide that you're gonna take it on, that you're gonna accept it, you're not gonna do anything about it, then you then just have to accept that situation. And then you would minimize a lot of your stress if once you accept it, you accept it and kind of let go of the stress. 'cause you're like, I'm gonna deal with it. But then a deal with it in a shift in your mental, emotional mindset that you're gonna deal with it and you're okay. Because if not, then you're always gonna be anxious and stressed out about it. Make sense? That's kind of the thought and decision-making and choices process that you wanna take and the approach that you're gonna wanna make with someone who, they're not a bully in this case, but they're certainly creating conflict, and it could be in a very quiet way, but they're still creating conflict. You can approach that conflict in a way that's productive for everyone and not a situation where most people want to avoid and therefore don't do anything about it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Oh, the drama, the drama. So that person's creating drama. Again, most people, and you all that know my story know that I'm really well aware that the people that are typically creating drama have drama going on in their own lives. And it could be just internal drama, not necessarily external around them. And therefore, you want to kind of appreciate, appreciate and acknowledge that. You don't want to just kind of go at it, you know, kind of plainly or empty, not thinking that, oh, they might have something going on that's causing them to lash out or causing them to create all this drama. So you want to first go at it empathetically and try to get under the COVID so to speak. So you might approach that same individual who's not only pulling their weight, but they're creating drama. And again, you might want to ask them if something's going on. You might want to even say that, you know, there's been— you know, you've noticed a change in them recently. You don't want to go at them accusing them or, you know, telling them to, you know, stop. You don't want to get in their face, or they're going to come back just as a defense mechanism and get in your face. You want to approach it in a very inquisitive, coaching, supportive way, though they might come back again and tell you to mind your own business or go to hell or whatever the case might be. And then you simply, in that kind of calm, logical place that you approach them on, you just simply say, "Fine, thank you very much." You move on, and maybe you have to, again, you go to the boss, supervisor, HR person, to then get it addressed. So that drama is definitely coming from a place of insecurity, intimidation, feeling of lack, low self-worth, low self-esteem. You have to recognize that. It was the greatest lesson I learned about myself. And now, see, anytime I kind of get into a situation where there's someone being really ugly, whether it's to me or someone else, and I just simply stay calm and kind of look at them almost in pity And then I'll, you know, assert it or I'll address it very directly, but I won't let it get me all wigged out or get me all stressed out about it because it's their issue, not mine. But if they're impacting me, then I'm going to make sure that I raise that up and direct, you know, and address it with them. And if I need help, then I go externally. And find that help. So in this case, it would be that coworker would engage them first productively, calmly, effectively, and then if that doesn't work, then engaging someone else. So for all of that, whether it's drama or someone not pulling their weight. All right, let's see, what else do we have here? Um, uh, oh, okay. So I also have a question. I want to switch my job and do something new. How do I go about— how do I go about, um, really understanding how— where my skill set matches certain professions, certain jobs? Uh, and that's a fabulous question. I find that, I find that, um, especially as individuals get like in their late 40s, 50s, um, the jobs that they've been doing, you know, for the last 20, 25 years, they're looking to switch it up. They're looking to do something different. They're looking to take on kind of new challenges, and it's a very exciting thing, but at the same time it could be both scary and confusing for people. And this particular person is going through exactly that. They're roughly my age, and they just decided that they have a lot of skills and a lot of talents and a lot of qualities to do something different. They're just not quite sure kind of where. You know, I— and I had a conversation that— with them that, you know, had you told me 8 years ago that I'd go from being a corporate executive to being a writer,, or to being a screenwriter at that, or a radio host, I would have never picked those things out had I gone and done an assessment or considered what other jobs I would do. I would have done something else, some other function within the corporate environment. So there's a— it's exciting whether you're 20 or whether you're 70, it's exciting to change things up. But how would you go about doing that? Because someone's skills and talents, um, you know, definitely can be applied in a variety of different areas than maybe what you're accustomed to as well. Not only that, but your talents, your qualities, traits about you may also serve a completely different profession. Than you kind of considered. Maybe you went to school and followed a path based on what the family wanted or the spouse or partner wanted or the community expected of you, and yet now, you know, you want to kind of pursue your, your passion, your dreams. So there is a number of places online that you can go and do that. You can do an assessment where they actually, you know, ask you a whole series of questions, uh, and the, the questions aren't going to seem as if they relate to you, uh, however, the way you, you know, the way you answer them and how you answer them, uh, will then kind of help the— whether it's an algorithm or whether it's just the, um, straightforward assessment itself, create a profile of the type of professions, type of jobs that your skill set and personality trait lifestyle set would work best in. And it's very cool. And I'm going to, while we're talking, I'm going to find the particular one that I have recommended out recently because I actually took time to, to do this because I wanted to recommend a similar type of an assessment to one of my clients. And so the one I found, and there's a number of them, there's MAPPP, there's DISC, a number of the franchise organizations. If you ever considered to go into business for yourself, one of the first places people will, you know, a career or business coach will direct you to is in franchising, because there you have kind of a a safe environment with a proven method, a proven business model that, that can help you go into business for yourself. And a lot of those franchise organizations use assessments to really find out, can you be an entrepreneur? Can you work for yourself if you're so accustomed to working for someone else and having that, that safe paycheck, so to speak? So they, you know, the franchise industry has always been very good at providing those type of assessments to tell you that based on your skills and traits and qualities and lifestyle and personality, you know, what careers, what even type of franchises in this case would work best for you. So there's MAP and there's DISC, there's a 360 assessment, that really won't tell you jobs, it'll just kind of tell you more about whether or not you're a leader or a follower, quite honestly. And then there is sokanu, S-O-K-A-N-U, dot com, and I found this recently, like I said, for my client, and it's a series of, you know, many, many, many, many, many questions. There's multiple sites, online sites, that will send you through, you know, 50, 75, 100 questions, all to kind of then build through their algorithm your profile and then those job opportunities. And I found this one, Sokunu, S-O-K-A-N-U, as something that really right then and there as you're answering it, it's showing you and it's displaying to you the different types of professions, jobs that your personality, your skills, talents, and qualities fit into. And then, you know, you go through the whole process. It doesn't vastly change, but there are different aspects. Your technical skills versus your soft skills versus your personality and your lifestyle choices versus your business ACUMEN, those will all kind of help to define the professions that would work best for you. So you can do those assessments, and that would be what I'd highly recommend, and use that list of, of, of jobs in your profile results as a basis for considering You don't have to do them, obviously, and you may find that, oh gosh, none of these fit me. I, you know, I certainly fit better in what I'm doing today. Well, you might be surprised that what you're doing today isn't really kind of leveraging your skills and talents and traits as much as, or as optimized as you could be. So there could be a whole 360 switch. Like I said, Had I known, you know, 10 years ago I'd be doing this today, I would have told you you're nuts. Yet, I, you know, when I did this several weeks ago in preparation to providing it to my client, I was, it didn't surprise me that it showed that I should be a radio host, an MC, a writer, a film director. It didn't surprise me, but had I done it, you know, even 5 years ago, I would have been like, what are they talking about? So challenge yourself, consider that, and consider it as an opportunity for you to really see what your, what your options are, because it could set you off in a different path, in a different course that's exciting and, and liberating and freeing. You never know, right? All right, all right, all right. Um, you know, that is the list of questions I got this week. Usually I have like a whole laundry list of them. However, if you ever, ever, ever have a question, and even if you're listening to this after we've gone live, feel free. Like I said, go to Facebook or Twitter on Shedding the Bitch. Email me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. I get a lot of these emails and these questions posed through LinkedIn. Because I tend to be out there quite a bit. Um, and you know, just ensure that you're getting the support, getting the advice, sometimes the tough love that you need in order to be able to pursue and achieve whatever goals and riches you want out of life. All right, so let's see, we have a lot going on in October. We're going to get really, um, deep and wide as it pertains to selling as it pertains to marketing, PR, and a number of other corporate and entrepreneurial functions and skill sets. And so go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch to see who our future guests are, and/or even shoot us a note, say hi to Deborah as I mentioned, shoot us a note, and if there is a a radio guest or a topic that you're interested in, that you've experienced, then be sure to also let us know that, and we'll be sure to, to have it or them on a future program. All right, so again, prayers for all of those out there that are still suffering through, um, nature tragedies or personal tragedies or unfortunate tragedies like the one in Las Vegas over the last couple days. And keep anyone suffering in any capacity in your prayers. I'll keep all of you in my prayers, as I do every day, and I'll look forward to having and speaking to you again this time next week, next Tuesday at noon Eastern time, for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.