Ask me Anything with Bernadette Boas

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

But how are you today? I love confusion. I love being challenged. I love to see how, you know, I operate under stress. How about you? Now I'm all nervous, so I'm going to actually check to make sure my microphone is not on mute. All right. So we've had some great episodes recently. So before we jump into your questions and challenges that I've been given, Let me just mention that if you're wondering, because I got this question just about the show, if you're wondering why we're broadcasting Ask Me Anything today, which is the 14th, as opposed to the first Tuesday of each month, which is when the episode typically airs, that's because I made the decision to want to broadcast my interview with Joanna Wright last week. She's with Bottom Line Wealth, and she has a launch around getting into real estate very easily that went live yesterday on her real estate Facebook group. So you can check her out there and check out her launch if you've ever considered investing in real estate. Now, some people say, well, you kind of confuse people if you don't keep consistent. You know, that might be right. But this is the first time ever that I have switched up an episode and delayed our Ask Me Anything episode. And I just felt it was important to support another business owner, another female, another professional, another person who wanted an opportunity to get her message out there before her launch took place on Monday, yesterday. And it goes all week. So check out Joanna Wright, Bottom Line Wealth on Facebook. All right, so also we have talked to Michael Ardenberry. What a great conversation. We talked to him about shaking the dirt, really just using the obstacles in life to really find out who you truly are and what and how much strength you actually possess. It was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful conversation, so check that out as well. And then we also talked about, um, How to Get Out of Your Own Way with Davina Ware. Now, if you're new to the program and new to the podcast, then you can check out our episodes basically anywhere they stream podcasts or where you might stream them. Apple Podcasts, out on blogtalkradio.com, and then of course we have them all at sheddingthebitch.com/podcast as well, just like we're doing today. When I do broadcast live on YouTube or on Facebook or through Zoom, I also make sure those go back up to our Shedding the Bitch TV channel out on YouTube, so you can also check us out there as well. All right, now lastly, before we jump into your questions, um, I need to thank a couple of people who have been just avid supporters of the Shedding the Bitch community and everything that we do here, and that's Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services. She's my personal assistant and social media person who I just drove nuts for the last several minutes trying to figure out the whole blog talk technical issue that we were having. But she provides virtual assistance and social media support to small to corporate size clients. You can always email her directly at deborahparker.va@gmail.com. And then of course, as always, I need me to thank and recognize Debbie Snelling of North Georgia Tax Solutions. She provides full-service financial and tax services to small to corporate-sized companies. And it's not just Georgia, it's all over the country. And you can check her out at ngtaxsolutions.com and tell her I, I said hello. All right. And it is that time of year, right? So you might want to tune in to her and see what's happening and what you need for your personal or business financial services issues. All right, now next week we're going to be talking to Megan McCarthy, and she will also be— we'll do a video broadcast and a BlogTalk broadcast of that episode, and she's going to come and talk to us about healthy eating, especially in times of stress and overwhelm and uncertainty. And a lot of us are sitting on the couch emotionally eating, and she's going to help us kind of eliminate that type of eating. And if we were to do it, and we are emotional people, then how can you do it in a healthy way? So that'll be great. That'll be next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Okay, let's see what else we have going on before we dive into your questions. We have several questions. If you should have a question that, that you didn't get a chance to post, you can do that. And right there on our Shed in the Ditch Facebook page, you can put it in the post, you can put it in a private DM if you don't want to necessarily, you know, have your name tied to it and you don't want to necessarily talk, talk, or make it visible to the public, you can still send me a DM and Deborah will be sure to get it over to me during the program, okay? And, and again, if you're coming on and you're, and you're watching this, please say hello, do a shout out, and if you don't have a question, sit back and what maybe one of these questions or something you are dealing with or something that's come up for you and you are looking for some tips and advice. Okay, so what are we going to cover? We have several. We have someone who reached out, they've never joined an online group before. Now this is more of a kind of a personal fitness health type of group that they've joined to help with their fitness goals, but it makes them very nervous to be online, so they were looking for some assistance as to how to really embrace it and how to feel secure and confident and trusted in that they're not going to have all the haters coming after them, being that they, you know, make themselves so vulnerable in a group. So we'll talk about that. We're going to talk about how one woman came to me and we were, we were talking and she was saying that, that many people around her, whether it's work or personal, whether it is colleagues or even relationships or potential relationships, relationships, and she often gets the idea that people are intimidated by her, and she's trying to figure out kind of what is she doing and how can she change that. Then lastly, this question, when it came up to me just recently actually, and it was actually not as much of a direct question as a situation that was described to me, and I asked what the question was. They really didn't have a question, they just wanted to express this experience, and And then, of course, as a coach, I turn the tables on them and ask them a whole bunch of questions to get down to it. But it was really around them wanting a change in their life, but they're not doing anything about it. Now, if you were part of one of our radio programs back in, I even want to say March, as well as our Goals to Riches Challenge back in March, you will have heard me talk. I think it was in the very first session about a conversation I had with a Fred, and this actually mirrored very similar to, to the discussion I had with him. So I'm going to actually share with you both of those experiences and then how I responded to it in order to help them and give them some tips and advice around just that feeling stuck, not sure why they're not moving on something that they really want in their life. Okay, now again, if you have any questions or a challenge that you're dealing with, you can post them right in our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page, and, uh, Deb will be sure that I get them. But if it's not during the program, don't worry about it. Still post it or send me a private DM, and I will get back with you very quickly. And we might just ask that we bring it here for the next episode next month. It is the first Tuesday of every month. This is an exception that we're doing it the second Tuesday of the month. Okay.

All right.

So let's get into this. Let me grab some water. All that excitement with the technical glitch. You know, you got to love it.

Okay.

So the first question was, I never joined an online group before to help me with my fitness goals. It makes me nervous to put myself out there. Where do I start? Okay, raise your hand if you've ever had this trepidation, if you've ever been nervous. Forget about it whether it's online. Many people even struggle to reveal their secrets, so to speak, or their insecurities, what we call bitches here in the Shedding the Bitch community. But even their goals and their aspirations and their dreams, they're even hesitant to bring those up. To family members, friends, let alone colleagues or strangers in a, in this case, online group. And it just comes from just a lot of fear. It's bottom line, it's fear. And so what I needed to get to, because again, as a coach and a radio host, our job is all around asking questions. So actually you're discovering the answers. And then if you're not quite getting there, I may prod you there a little bit bit more. So first off, what I want to do for anybody who's kind of taken this leap and put yourself out there online, I want to congratulate you. I want to applaud you. I want to celebrate you because that's the first step, is just knowing that you want and need help regardless of what, what the life situation is. In this case, it's someone's fitness goals. And probably health and nutrition can get thrown in there. But you need to really be proud and honor the fact that you've recognized that you want help and you're seeking kind of that avenue to take in order to find it. Okay. So that, that would be the first thing is congratulations. The second thing would be, I just would have to ask straight out, which I did, what are you afraid of? That's a question that you should ask yourself. Long before you even come to myself or anyone else for some guidance and coaching is simply just ask yourself, what are you afraid of? Now, don't ask it of yourself and sit there and ponder it. Ask it and write it down. You know, if you're part of the Shedding the Bitch community, Shift to Riches community, you know how big I am about getting it out of your head and onto a piece of paper. And that's merely because of the fact that as you're sitting there letting it swirl in your head, you're just kind of creating all this drama and all this havoc within yourself that if you would actually start scribbling it out on a piece of paper and you look at it, it takes a lot of that what I'll call power of those thoughts, of those beliefs, it takes it away. It kind of dilutes it and allows you to look at it logically and say possibly and say, oh, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, there's a solution to every issue. There's a solution to every negative thought that you have. There's a solution to every negative emotion that you're feeling. So write it down, okay? Get it out of your head, write it down. What are you afraid of? What could happen if you put yourself out there, okay? And in, in this case, and in many cases, especially as a coach, I— this is what I do each and every day. I work with individuals that are struggling with something, and them being vulnerable, them being uncomfortable, them being, you know, kind of insecure in putting themselves out there is really why they've come to me or come to any coach or any counsel of any kind. So first, you need to really understand what you're afraid of. What is the worst outcome that could come from it? Like what, you know, what would actually send you not only to your knees, not only to the bed as they say, but you know, what is going to actually kill you, take breath away from you? And yes, you might come up with a few things in regards to, you know, taking you to your knees or taking you to the bed, but nothing's going to kill you. Nothing that could happen online is going to literally kill you. Yes, it could, you know, certainly none of us are looking for haters coming out of the woodwork and, you know, diminishing our dreams, our goals, our aspirations. At the same time, that's not about you, that's about them. You know, anything that comes out from a hateful perspective is not about the individual, it's about, or the receiver, it's about the person passing that hate on. So really consider what is the worst thing that could happen by you being vulnerable. You have this fitness goal, you have this health goal, Maybe it's that you want to lose a number of pounds or that you're just really out of shape. There was one comment in regards to this question that came up to me, and as I was responding, that this one individual didn't even want to kind of post pictures of themselves. They were so ashamed. And that's what they actually kind of eventually got to is, well, I feel ashamed that I allowed myself to to, you know, put on all this weight. So you really need to get a handle on what it is that you're afraid of because again, every problem has a solution to it. So, and I'm thinking I might have said that backwards earlier. Deborah can let me know. But yeah, every issue has a solution. You know, every negative thought has a solution. Every word you're using has a different word you could be using. Okay, but really get a handle on what it is that you're afraid of because that's the first step of being aware of it and then working your way around it. Now, really simple thing to do when you're looking to join an online group is to scan that group, spend time on it after you've joined and really see what, what kind of group is it, what kind of collaboration is there, what kind of support, motivation, inspiration, what type of feedback are people providing. What type of vulnerability are people showing? So in this case, there, like I said, there were people that were acknowledging how insecure they were about, you know, revealing themselves, about disclosing themselves, about talking about, you know, what is really getting in their way of accomplishing their fitness goals. So scan the group first and spend time there. And in a lot of cases, when it comes to these online— and in this case it was Facebook— online groups, people are there to support one another. They start their groups because they, they themselves, along with, you know, who they accept into the group, are looking for the positive. They're not looking for the negative. They're not looking for the haters. They have enough of that within their own head. They're looking for people to tell them that their, you know, fear is indeed false evidence appearing real. Alright, so scan it. And again, you know, if you've noticed haters out there, then, you know, pull back or decide that you don't want to be part of it at all. Now, in the public forums, especially on Twitter and Facebook, I mean, you're open to just about anybody and anything. And again, in dealing with that, you just either kind of ignore it if you put out something controversial and you get controversy back, well, you need to recognize that that's kind of what you opened up, and therefore you have to, you know, accept it coming back. But you always have that delete button, that unfriend button, so, you know, take advantage of it. But as far as this question and this individual, scan the group, look for kind of, you know, what the group is all about, and And then just try it. Just put something out there. You don't have to show pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, or you don't have to, you know, tell anybody that you've gained, you know, 100 pounds. And, you know, on top of whatever it is you might have had before, just introduce yourself, you know, tell, you know, say that you have goals, express what those goals are. And trust me when I say, because I am now a part of a particular group that I started. Actually, I didn't start it. I jumped into this group Monday because I'm now back on to my fitness and weight, weight goal. So I joined a group. I just introduced myself. I told them what my goals were because I'm just an open book. So I told them what my goals were and I told them what gets in my way and what hangups I have. I promise you, if you actually allow yourself to be completely transparent, it's gonna be liberating for you, freeing for you. If you go out there and say, hey, you know, I've been eating shit for the last, you know, 3 years, I've put on 125 pounds, I look like crap, yet I'm here and I'm determined to change this. One, I'm gonna jump in and say congratulations, stop using those words, those negative words about yourself. And just, you know, appreciate and honor the fact that you've recognized you want to change and you're going after it, plain and simple. Okay, you know, I basically, you know, kind of noted back to this person, you have to recognize that you have to be vulnerable, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable, you have to be transparent— not necessarily to the world, but transparent to yourself, truthful to yourself. If you want to change of any kind. Okay, I feel like I'm absolutely sweating here. That's just me. Okay, so hopefully that was helpful, um, and just enjoy, enjoy the ride, enjoy the group. Let them help you, let them support you, let them motivate you. If you happen to find one or two people out there that are very generous with their support and motivation and inspiration, then reach out to them privately. That's actually how I got this individual coming to me, you know, reach out to them, reach out to them directly and say, hey, I love the support and the motivation you're providing. I even want your direct feedback and accountability. I want you to call me out on my junk. And, you know, and I bet you they'll say, just like I did, absolutely, I'm there for you. So consider that, okay? Alright, the next question is, I feel people are intimidated by me. How do I change that? She came to the right person. She came to the right person because I spent decades wanting people to be intimidated by me, wanting people to be scared of me, wanting people to, you know, quiver and shake when they experience me. Yes, I was that person, and I kind of got off on the fact that someone was intimidated by me. So I needed— with this individual, with this woman, I needed to get down to whether or not she was in that space of, you know, kind of getting off on it, really liking it. I mean, talk about narcissism, right? And yes, I'm— I'll agree, I'm a reformed narcissist to a certain level of it. And so my sweet spot. So I went right to the question of, why do you think of that? Why do you think that? What is happening that is giving you that impression? She expressed it, and it was more so just the fact that people weren't engaging her, involving her, collaborating with her. She is a senior manager of about 30 people. And she just— and it's a new role for her, so a new team, and she's just not getting kind of the— she wouldn't use soft words just like I wouldn't, but she wasn't using, you know, she wasn't seeing people kind of really cuddling up to her or, you know, just kind of really wanting to get to know her and engage her. She just felt like everybody was just kind of a hands off. And I asked her, so how does that make you feel? Like, how do you feel when, you know, you have this idea that people are intimidated by you? And fortunately, fortunately, she said, well, I don't like it. It's, you know, it's uncomfortable. You know, I'm supposed to— I'm not going to be their friend, but I'm supposed to be their, their, you know, leader. I'm supposed to be their manager, I'm supposed to be someone who— their coach and mentor. So she started using all the right words. So then I just simply again asked, so why do you think people are intimidated by you? And she's like, well, I just said, you know, told you. And I'm like, no, that's what you're telling— that's what you're saying about the kind of a third person view on why people are intimidated by you. Why do you think you're intimidating? What is it you're doing that intimidates people? So, as you can tell, any question that you bring to me, I'm going to be asking you more questions than that question you asked. And that's simply because to help you discover for yourself what's going on and your perception of it and your, therefore, reality of it. And then 9 out of 10 times you will come up with your own answer and your own solution to whatever it is that you're dealing with. So I had to kind of prod her to really kind of go internal inside and, and figure out why does she feel that she's intimidating. So she started kind of saying, well, I can be, and that was good. So she's becoming self-aware and she's owning it. She's verbalizing it, so therefore she's owning it. Well, I do, you know, tend to be very direct, very pointed. I don't have a lot of time. I don't want to spend a lot of time kind of stroking and handholding. So I can be very short. I, you know, I can kind of, you know, barrel into a room. I'm not someone who just is a wallflower who, you know, sits back and and doesn't make herself known that she's there. And so she started really kind of peeling back her own onion of just how she behaves, how she acts, how she, you know, processes and thinks and communicates and leads and delegates. And all of that was kind of revealing to her an answer to the next question that I would— that I asked, which was All right, so how do you think that makes other people feel? How do you think all of that behavior, all those actions, all those words, how is that making other people feel other than intimidated? Come up with other different, you know, words and expressions for it. And, you know, she then started revealing, well, they're, you know, they don't, they don't come to me with questions, they don't you know, volunteer to do anything over and above what they're supposed to be doing. They don't take initiative. They don't ask a lot of questions even about what it is they're supposed to be doing. So when they don't do it or don't do it correctly, then they're all like in a panic when I have to kind of course correct them. So bottom line is One's perception of you in any way, shape, or form is their reality. And if you want to change it, so that's the— this is the answer to the question. If you want to change it, you need to, you need to change. They don't need to change. You need to change. So I started saying, okay, as opposed to stating and making demands and just making statements all the time or, you know, direction or instruction all the time. Ask them questions just like I'm doing to you. Ask them questions. If they don't, if they don't do something the right way, don't correct them even if you think it's a course correction. Ask them what their process was. Ask them what their thoughts were about what it is that they did and what it is that they were supposed to do. And what it is that really needed to be done, and what ideas do they have to actually get it done the proper way or the correct way. Um, or the fact that if you have expectations of them asking questions and getting involved and engaging you, then ask them questions as to why doesn't that happen? Uh, why aren't they kind of approaching her, engaging her, or proactively making sure she's aware of something. Yes, you might think then that they're being intimidated by you. They actually just might not appreciate you, like you. They may not be intimidated. They might just say, you know, it's just not worth my time. And that's— those are two very different things and two very different responses you need to have to ensuring that these are your team members and they need to be involved and engaged and feel included and productive and valued, uh, and they need to be led and disciplined and guided and instructed, but they're not going to hear it and they're not going to respond to it, um, by someone that they feel is just not being intimidating, which could be the, the ultimate outcome, or, you know, or your perception, but just the fact that you're not engaging them, including them, making them feel valued, that is the real critical hook around all of this, okay? But you need to get a handle on kind of your view, your perception of why people would be intimidated by you. Whether it is a relationship, a family member, a friend, or a colleague, or an employee. You need to get a handle on that, okay? All right. Let's see what else we have here. I know we had one last question. Oh, I do want to say in regards to this, in regards to the whole intimidation question, a lot of times ultimately what it will also come down to, even though your employees may not use these exact words, but they may feel you don't trust them and your behavior is proving that you don't trust them. So someone who has to kind of tell all the time, make statements, give demands, um, and/or they just kind of throw up their hands and they do the work instead of going through the process of mentoring and coaching and guiding their employees, that bottom line is just you lack trust that someone else can do it as good as you or even better than you. And it just plain and simple is a lack of trust. So think about that. Think about the next time that you just decide flippantly that, oh well, you know what, I, I, I don't have time for to kind of tell them the right way. I got to do it myself. Well, you're not doing it yourself to save time. You're doing it, doing it by yourself or of yourself because you don't trust them to do it, even if it is a correction after the first time they did it. You just don't trust them to get it right. So consider that as well when it comes to kind of these challenges, and they're people challenges. You know, we're full of emotions and, and whatnot. So consider the fact that you may not trust them and then you need to change that. You need to trust them. You need to let them make mistakes. You need to let them know that they can make mistakes not only once, but twice or three times, or just set the expectation. But it is a bottom line trust issue as well. Okay. Alright, the next one was, I really want to change in my life but I can't seem to get out of my own way. So this came up, as I mentioned, this came up back in February from another gentleman that I spoke to and he very simply said to me, I have this great, you know, this real desire to, you know, put myself out there and build a brand around around my expertise and my talents. I want to speak, I want to coach, you know, I want to counsel and, you know, I'm really excited about it but I don't know why I haven't done anything about it. So I did first ask, okay, so how long has this been, you know, that you've wanted to do it and haven't done anything about it? About 6 months. I said, okay, so plain and simply, what are you afraid of? So this brings me to this young lady who reached out to me and basically had the same story. I, you know, there's— I want to change my life. I, you know, I may not know the end goal of what it is that I want, but I know I want to change in my life. I know what I want immediately when it comes to my career, and yet I haven't taken the steps. To do it. And so I plain and simply said, what are you afraid of? Now you'll notice from even the first question that we had during this episode that fear comes up a lot when it comes to why people are stuck, why people are apprehensive, why people are stalling, avoiding, procrastinating, allowing themselves to get distracted. It comes down to a fear of something.— it comes down to maybe acknowledging that they may not know something, that they may not be ready for something, that they may not have the resources, they may not have the monies, they may not kind of know where to start. All of that is plain and simple fear. So the, you know, the question that always has to be answered very honestly/truthfully, becoming very vulnerable is, what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? What could happen should you do something? So I simply said, just like I did with Fred, not only what are you afraid of, so I asked, what are you afraid of? And, you know, let them ponder. Fred, in Fred's case, he immediately said, I'm not afraid of anything. I'm not afraid of anything. Anything, just like anyone would expect from a man versus a woman. A woman's like, probably I'm afraid of something. Men are like, no way. And so there's prodding that has to be done there, which I did. And he eventually said, oh my God, you're absolutely right. Now, I was about to say her name, said something very similar, just not as animate, that I never considered that, but Yeah, I'm obviously afraid of something. I'm like, okay, so consider what is it that you're afraid of if you're looking for this change. Now, what this change is, this is, well, both of them were from a professional level, but her, in her case, other people have much higher expectations of her than she has of herself. Can you relate? Can you relate to that? So, so the people around her have kind of her on a path to, you know, even go from one functional role to a totally different functional role. And she didn't even initially want the role that she got promoted into. She questioned herself whether or not she was capable even doing that one, let alone get ripped out of a functional area she's, you know, she knows pretty well into something completely different. So I kind of just sat and had her think about, I said, so what does that say about the people and their view of you that they would actually take you from one role, one functional area to a completely different one? Now, her first knee-jerk reaction response was, well, they might not be happy with what I'm doing here. And therefore they're gonna kind of, they want me to go over. There. Like, now what, why, what would cause you to think that? Now again, question, question, question, because people's immediate responses, as much as they are truths, there's a lot more underneath them. There's a lot more of that fear underneath, kind of their knee-jerk reaction. Although I always say truth sits on the surface. So her first response is she's not good enough in the role that she's in. Why would they take her over to another role? It must be because they, they too don't think she's good enough in the role that they're in. And I said, well, what if they think you're, you're so talented that they want you to kind of expand your horizon? They want to give you a full you know, experience. That's not what I wanted to say, but they want you to have, you know, kind of a well-rounded resume of expertise and experience that would elevate you even further and faster in the company. What now? What's coming up for you in considering that? And she was like, "I never considered that." Of course she hasn't. And of course, many of you who have those same doubts and insecurities and questions about yourself don't consider the, "Wow, there could be actually a positive around something as opposed to a negative around something." So our conversation went to the path of, you know, think, and you know, when you come up with a negative, put, you know, put it on its head and come up with a positive. So if you come up and say, well, maybe it's because— all right, sorry, sorry, we're having trouble. Deborah, do me a favor and just let me know if you're still seeing me on the live. It is still ticking away, but it's saying that we're having trouble playing this video, so just let me know with a thumbs up or something. That we're still good. Okay, so consider this for yourself, everyone, is when something comes up in the negative, you know, make, make yourself say, okay, well, wait a minute, what if they are looking at me for bigger and better opportunities to get me more experience, get me more exposure, get me more you know, support, and they trust that I'm good at what I'm doing, and therefore I am capable of taking on more. So, and so once I kind of led her down that path, the next thing you know, we're sitting there strategizing on kind of, okay, now this could become a new goal for you. This consideration of this change that you were afraid of about 5 minutes ago, and now you're kind of excited about it because it's proving itself that it could actually be really good for you as opposed to something really scary and bad for you. And, you know, it's— she's no different than 99% of the people that I talk with, work with, engage with here even. Through Ask Me Anything. It's why a lot of you want to private DM me or LinkedIn with me and send me your questions or challenges via email or through a LinkedIn message. And that's perfectly okay. It's perfectly okay. But at the same time, we're here as a community because you're not alone. You're not dealing with these different scenarios alone. Okay, but I want to move on to finishing out this question around, I really want to change my life, but I just can't seem to get out of my own way and do it. Because apart from all of that self-discovery, all those questions, which when you're sitting there pondering this yourself, that's why it's really key to kind of take a journal and start scribbling away on it. Because when you're sitting there trying to ponder questions to ask yourself, it's that much harder for individuals, I have found, to really come up with some really clear answers because they're so in their head about it and they're overthinking it in a lot of cases. And yet if you sit there and start, you know, scribbling without even paying attention to what you're scribbling, a lot of truth will come out as a result of that. So get it out of your head. But so you ask a lot of questions through these processes, even of yourself. Say you're not even talking to someone like myself, you're asking yourself a lot of questions. And one of those questions also has to be anytime someone is stuck, and this even included me early last year, for 3 months I didn't get off my couch. It was like January through March. I just was absolutely absolutely stuck in what it is that I wanted to do, you know, why I was doing it and whether or not I ever wanted to do it again. And it didn't necessarily involve my coaching or my, actually my radio. It involves some other projects that I was working on. And so if you feel, get into that position where you feel stuck, apprehensive, you're just not moving on something that you think you want to do and you want to move on, then ask yourself, is this a priority for me? Is it right now? Yes, it might be something I want, but is it right now a priority for me? Uh, because you may find that it is not a priority. Yes, it is something that you want. It's just not something that right now you need to do or you want to focus on. And that's okay. That's all right. We— you have a lot of time now. You're, you know, life does go fast, but you have time to, to, you know, make sure that you're in the right place mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, everything to, to go after that, that goal or dream that you have. So when you do get stuck, when you do feel apprehensive, when you do feel lost and confused, consider the fact that it's just not a priority right now. Ask yourself that question and answer it truthfully. Don't flippantly go, "Oh no, it is," because guess what? Someone like myself is gonna call you out on it and we're gonna, we're gonna, you know, call you out on the fact that no, it's not, because if it was, you'd be doing it. So then the next question would be, okay, so well then what are you afraid of? I'm afraid of looking stupid, I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid of success, I'm afraid of not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing. Well, okay, that's great. There's a solution to every one of those issues. There's a solution to every one of them. Don't have money? Let's talk about how you can get money. You don't have resources like a team? Let's figure out, you know, how you can, you know, get team members on board. You don't know how to do it? Let's figure out where you need to go for training, education, coaching, mentoring, whatever. You know, you don't, you don't have You know, you don't have the time? Well, let's look at your schedule and let's figure out and prioritize everything else that you have going on in your life and find that, you know, slot of time that you could be working on what you say you want to be working on. There is a solution to every one of someone's fearful problems, okay? So it's just a matter of you being truthful about it and acknowledging it and then seeking out how to, you know, move and push through it. Alrighty, okay, now the first thing I'd also— to kind of wrap this one up— the first thing I would also always tell someone when they think they want to do something but they're just not moving on it, and maybe they are doing the self-discovery that we just described, I'll say to them, do what's one thing you could do even if it's the smallest of things. What's one thing you could do about what it is that you say you want to do? And they'll tell me. I'll say, then go do it. Just do it. Do it today. Do it before the end of the week. And then I'm gonna follow up with you, but just do it. And maybe that doing, even that little bit of doing, gives you the momentum and the energy and the excitement to want to keep going. If not, then be okay to throw up your hands and go, you know what, it's not a priority and I'm moving on, and then move on. Alrighty, okay, I know we had that glitch, so I'm just, um, and Deborah hasn't responded, so she might have had a glitch herself to where she can't get back to it because I haven't heard from her on a tweet. Gotta love technology issues. But those are the questions that we have for today. I did want to mention that if in any way, shape, or form you are overwhelmed, stressed out, unclear, apprehensive, lost, or maybe you have your goals laid out and plans laid out and are excited about things, but you just want some guidance, some tips, strategies, tools, resources, to really get you from your goals to your achievement of those goals, then consider joining us on beginning Monday, July 20th, which is this coming Monday, for our Goals to Riches Challenge that starts up. You know, all you need to do is invest your time because it's free. It's a 5-day challenge. You're actually going to be challenged to follow a certain series of steps each day. That's all I'll say right now. Series of steps each day that will prove to you by the end of the week that you have your goals, put a plan in place, have the focus and the strategies for overcoming any distractions or obstacles, and you will achieve your results. Not can, you will achieve the results that you want. And we're gonna, you know, not only prove that to you during that 5-day challenge, you're gonna have a lot of education, a lot of coaching, a lot of support, a lot of masterminding a lot of collaboration and community with everyone else joining in, and there'll be a lot of really big prizes for you investing in you. Okay, so if that sounds intriguing to you in any way, shape, or form, then go to goals2riches.com and register to join us on Monday. You'll also, um, immediately be able to download the workbook. You can join our Shift to Riches private group and I'll just be excited to have you as part of the challenge beginning Monday, July 20th. Okay, now let's see. Next week, like I mentioned, we're going to be talking to Megan McCarthy all about eating healthy. So let's get healthy through these trying times and let's do it as a community together. Okay, for everyone here in the Shift of Bitches, Shift of Bitches, Shift of Shedding Shedding the Bitch Radio community, thank you very much for joining and I will talk with you this time next week, noon Eastern time on Tuesday. Take care everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches and the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.