Ask Me Anything with Bernadette Boas.

Bernadette Boas takes calls and answers questions about parenting, entrepreneurship, and mindset. A father worries his 12-year-old son's ballet costume choice will embarrass him; Boas says check in with the kid's feelings, not your own. She also covers returning from vacation strong, why accountability matters, and how coaches can fall in love with sales.
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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.
818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone, and how are you? Let's see, I have a little flip with— there we go. Technology, you have to love it. You have to love it, especially when you're live. But welcome, welcome, welcome everybody to Shady Bitch Radio. Yes indeed, I'm Bernadette Boas and this is our Ask Me Anything episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month.. And basically you post your questions, you might even have challenges, or you just want to share a story, and you do that on Facebook, Twitter, you send them to me through LinkedIn direct messages, and some few, but some will email me at bernadetteboas@ballifierinc.com, and you can certainly do that however you want to reach out and get the tips, advice, sometimes tough love that you need in order to move your your business and life forward, then feel free to do so, all right? Now, what typically happens is I will respond to you directly, one-on-one, with as many tips or pieces of advice that I can give you, and then I will bring it right here on the first Tuesday of every month, because if you're having that question or that challenge, most likely other people are as well. And so the first Tuesday of every month is just a compilation of all of your— excuse me— of all of your questions and stories and challenges. So you can also kind of come into Shedding the Bitch Facebook page or our Shedding the Bitch TV channel on YouTube broadcasting live like we are today and be able to reach out and use the chat to say hello or to ask any, any question that you might have, keeping in mind I am streaming into both Facebook and YouTube via StreamYard, so they might ask you for permission to share your name and information with me. Okay, now as mentioned, ask me anything, but before we get there, I just, as I always have to, I need to thank our new and our ongoing viewers and listeners. You obviously are finding us out on any one of your streaming podcast services and downloading and taking us with you or you are going out to Shedding the Bitch TV on YouTube, or even our Facebook page, Shedding the Bitch, and checking it out there. Each week, other than our Ask Me Anything episode, we have fabulous experts from around the world that are bringing great tips, strategies, tools, and even mindset ideas that around subjects and topics that are really important and relevant to you each and every day in your work and your life. All right, so make sure you tune in every Tuesday, or you can go to ballofirecoaching.com, uh, YouTube or Facebook post our live broadcast, and you can always check out past episodes. Okay, but thank you to the new and, uh, current listeners and followers and viewers, because, um, it's you that are liking us, following us, tweeting us, sharing You're making comments, you're rating, you're providing recommendations on the topics and the experts that we bring on. And we couldn't be happier and actually feel very honored that you are contributing so much to the Shedding the Bitch community and Shedding the Bitch Radio. So thank you. And of course, I definitely need to thank one of our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who is always, always supporting and cheering the Shedding the Bits community on with their financial services and tax services for small to corporate size clients. Debbie Smelling and her team over at North Georgia Tax Solutions services the entire country, not just North Georgia. So be sure that you check her out, and I'm looking for— you could check her out at ndtaxsolutions.com. Tell her I said hi. Tell her I said hi. And trust me when I say, whether it's your individual or your business, whether you're a small or corporate-sized company, she and her team are fabulous and will do you right. Will do you right. Okay. Let's see, what else do I want to bring up before we get into your questions? We do have several questions. And again, if you are watching or listening live, be sure to go into our Shedding the Bits Facebook page, Shedding the Bits TV YouTube channel, and you can even go to— and I'll go bounce back and forth as I don't have Deborah with me today— and I'll go back and forth to our BlogTalkRadio platform. And because if you are out there as well, you can scroll down and you will see a, you'll see a chat room there, and you can reach out and ask your question there, or you can even call in 1-818-572-2910. And I am going to, before I get into the questions that we already have, I'm going to open up the line just in case there is anyone that would like to ask a question. And if you don't, no pressure at all. You don't even need to mention your name if you do have a question, but I just want to give you an opportunity, uh, before we get into it, just in case you do have any questions or you have a challenge that you're dealing with that you need some advice. So is there anyone out there that might have a question or a situation you'd like to talk about?
Hi, Bernadette.
Hi, how are you?
Good, how are you today?
I'm good, thank you.
What's up?
Uh, good. Um, I've had a question and just looking for advice here, and you can be the best person to ask. So, um, long story short, me and my wife, we have a 12-year-old son, and at the start of the summer, we're looking for activities, and she, uh, requested or recommended ballet. She was a dancer herself. She loved dance and ballet. I thought my son might be a little hesitant at first, but he decided he wanted to do it. We're coming into August now. At the end of August is the annual recital, the summer recital, and the costume is very, very feminine. I think borderline it's a girl's costume. My wife says, "Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. It's just part of the piece. It's the dance, you know, it's just what the costume is." I mean, I'm pretty progressive and I don't mind my son taking ballet, but the costume is, like I said, it's very feminine. It's not— it's— I think it's a girl's costume. So am I overreacting? Should I just relax a little bit? What should I do?
Well, I both— I think one, you kind of do need to relax about it. However, however, um, being that he's 12 also You know, there's a difference between 8 and 12 and 16, right?
Okay, yep.
Have you had a conversation with the ballet instructor?
Um, it's more of my wife, you know, she's kind of headlining this thing. So I even kind of said when I saw the costume, I told my wife, hey, this is kind of— I think this is a girl's costume. And she said, it's fine, it's fine. Like I said, she's a long history ballet. Long history dance. She always wanted a girl, I think, to be her little ballerina for the most part. So I'm almost worrying if, like, if she's using my son as that.
But, and how, and how is he with it?
He seems shy. Uh, I asked him like, hey, do you like taking ballet? And he just kind of said, yeah, yeah, you know, I know it makes Mom happy. Um, I said, but do you like it? He goes, yeah, it's fine. And I When I asked about the costume, he just kind of, is kind of very short-answered like that.
Right, right, right. And has his wife talked to him, or I'm sorry, has your wife talked to him, uh, with you in regards to it?
Uh, she's just very happy and very proud that he's taking it, and she's just kind of really, you know, talking very highly of it. I think he might like that attention she's getting from him, but—
Right, right. Well, I, you know, one Um, it's, you know, you definitely are on the right track in trying to think that it's about him. It shouldn't be about her as far as ensuring that, you know, he's not— he— yes, he might want to do it to make her happy, but that is, as long as he is happy, truly happy, and not sacrificing any of his, you know, security and confidence and, um, you know, just willingness to want to do it versus having to have to do it. So that would be the first checkpoint, and if that checkpoint is off, the next checkpoint I would make is, is it truly a girl's costume, or you're using the right words as far as— you can look at ballet like any creative artistic medium, and that is they are playing a role. And so every actor you know, an actress and dancer and musician, they often play a role and they have a costume that goes along with it. It doesn't define them. It defines their character within whatever piece it is that they're working. So, you know, you could also approach this not only with him but with yourself to say, yes, this is just a role he is playing, a character he's playing in whatever this ballet story is.. And this costume, yes, it is, you know, is it feminine? Maybe. But at the same time, it is, you know, part of the story of which their instructor is wanting to portray and put out there. And it doesn't define your son unless he allows it, unless other people around him allow him to define him. It just merely is a mask or a costume that he then will be taking off once that recital is over with. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it doesn't help that it's a flower-themed dance and he's the only boy and then all the girls are in the exact same costume as well. So it's a green unitard, a big flower headpiece, petal kind of thing. So it's, uh, that's—
yeah, it sounds— but let's put this into maybe, you know, practical perspective. It could be that the ballet story is about a bouquet of flowers. And therefore, yes, he is one of those flowers. And therefore, that's why his costume reflects that. I think if you and your wife make a deal about the costume, then it's going to be a deal for him. Whereas right now at 12, he may not consider it a big deal, and he'll move on. So I would just— I would just take— continue to take the pulse of your son and be just, you know, kind of interested in kind of how he is going into it and how he is feeling, you know, throughout it. And then recognize that it will be a costume that comes off. And the next one could be the fact that all the girls are dressed up like guys, you know? And then he, you know, then— then so-called he'll fit in, but he already fits in. He should be applauded for, you know, taking that step, you know, doing the activity, and then even, you know, completing and accomplishing the recital, because so many kids, especially at 12, they would rather be doing 9,000 other things than something that, you know, is going to keep them inside, let alone, you know, something like a ballet. I mean, he, you know, he should be applauded.
All right, yeah, I guess when you say it that way, I kind of understand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you think of all the other activities he could be doing that might not be as— as I want to say the word innocent, but that might not be as, uh, beneficial, educational. Um, it's definitely growth-oriented. I mean, the fact that he is doing that in a room full of girls— now that could be a motive of his. That he's around all these probably pretty girls. But, you know, just the fact that he's doing it, and if he's been showing up each and every lesson, and now he's showing up for the recital, I mean, that is a young man, or a young boy that will turn into a man, that keeps his commitments, that shows up, does the work, makes a contribution, and you know, kind of hopefully enjoys it as he goes.
All right, I guess in the future, in case a tutu is in the future, should I be okay with that then, or should I put a stop at a tutu?
I know, I think you, you know, you need to— you love your son, obviously, and you just want him to be happy no matter what, you know. And, you know, we can get into no matter what gender, no matter what sexuality, no matter what interests he has, no matter what, um, uh, education he wants to go, you know, pursue, uh, you just want him to be happy, correct?
Yes.
Yes, I thought so. I mean, I could hear it in your voice. So just always tap into him. Put your ego and your vanity and your pride aside of what other people are going to say or think, because it's not about them. It's about this young 12-year-old.. And as long as he is happy and he's enjoying himself and he's getting something from it, um, then that's where you should throw all of your interest and your energy into. And forget about what other people say, think, or do, because you know you can't control them. And he could be going to an academic, um, you know, advanced summer school, and you're still going to have people that judge him.
Right.
So yeah, so just make sure as long as he is good and he's happy and, you know, he's enjoying himself, then that really has to be where the focus is and, uh, not anything else. Because there's nothing to say— there's nothing to say who should be wearing a tutu, who should not be wearing a tutu.
Okay. All right, well, thank you very much. You're very helpful.
I hope so. And thank you for calling in. I appreciate it.
No problem. You have a good day, okay?
Yes, you as well. Enjoy the recital.
I will do, will do.
Yeah.
All right.
Bye-bye.
That was awesome. And I know, I know he is going to enjoy the recital and he's going to have a great time with his son and his wife. And his son's going to have a blast. Flower or no flower. And I do like to think of those things as we all— I have a hair in my face— we all have kind of costumes and masks that we put on. I mean, just think about what we do when we get up to go to work, whether we're working at home or we're working in an office. You know, I have lipstick on. Well, actually I don't. But I have, you know, I have makeup on and I have a necklace on. And trust me when I say if I wasn't doing this, I would not. I would be, you know, kind of in a comfortable tee. And that's all fine and good because, you know, just like actors and actresses, we all have roles that we play in our life, and we have appropriate outfits or costumes, whatever you want to call it. But more so, I do want all of us to walk away from this with understanding that it doesn't matter what other people think or say or do. Because one, we can't control it, so we really need to get, you know, kind of get to the point in our lives where we don't care. And, um, I actually was having a conversation, and I know I'm diverting, but I'll get back to our question. Um, and, um, we were actually having a conversation. I was with a, um, a mastermind group of women yesterday, I want to say, and this exact subject came up, came up. About more so about how do, you know, how do we not allow other people's opinions, other people's judgment, other people's influences influence us. Yes, we want to make our parents proud, like that 12-year-old. I'm sure, you know, there's a part of him, and I'm hoping it's not all of it, but there's a part of him that is doing it to make his, you know, mother happy, his dad proud. And we do it to make our parents proud. We do it to make our spouses or partners or siblings or our close friends and community. And then we kind of go out even further and we do things and say things and buy things and show up with things because of what other people might think. And yet so many of us are living lives, going through our lives kind of half, half in the door and half out because we're half in the door meaning that we're half in the door as ourselves and the other half is because we're coming in to do something, impress, to flatter, to, you know, gain respect, to gain love, to feel like we fit in for other people. And we're always playing this game of trying to make ourselves happy but then trying to make everybody else happy, trying to make ourselves happy, trying to make everybody else happy. And, trust me when I say, because I was probably, you know, behind all the bitch that I used to be, which is where Shedding the Bitch came from, there was always that, you know, fear of missing out, need to impress, need to have everybody else, you know, respect and regard me, need to please everyone else, and I was absolutely suffocating and miserable. And, fortunately, going through my own, you know, shedding process, which, you know, we talk about a lot, so I won't here. Getting to the point where I can't control what you think. I can't control what my— at the time, my parents, who are both passed, but I can't control what my parents think, my brothers and sisters think, my lovers think, my friends, my community, my colleagues, my clients. I can only show up being the best me, which they want me to be the best me. They want you to be the best you, happy, content. Energized, confident, emboldened, bold, powerful, deserving, worthy, valuable. That's all they want for us. That's all they want for us. Whether or not we believe it, that's where the work comes in, is getting us to believe that we just need to take care of ourselves and you need to just focus on what is going to make you happy. Because you're not going to be able to control anything or anybody outside of you. But in this case with a 12-year-old or a 6-year-old or even a teenager, we definitely want to make sure that we're putting their concerns, their interests, their confidence, their view of themselves, their belief systems, their thoughts and feelings and emotions, you know, we need to pay attention to them first. As opposed to what everybody else outside of that is going to say or do. Okay. But I'm so thrilled that he reached out to kind of get some support and get some help there. And I'm also thrilled that I went over to make sure that I was looking at— I have multiple boards up right now, everybody. So we'll just have to bear with me.
Okay.
Alright, so we do have a few questions that we are going to get into. We are going to talk about how to come back from a— how to come back strong from a vacation. So it is funny, August is always— late July, August is always an active time, at least for me as a Coach, with this question, because so many of you are coming back from vacation and the next thing you know, today is Tuesday. You know, it will be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and you are still not like all in, you know, with your head and with your mind and with your actions at work. And I totally get it. It is like you need the vacation and, you know, kind of recover from the vacation. But there is ways for you to be able to come into post-vacation strong and determined. So we will talk about that. We are also going to talk about accountability. I've also had multiple conversations with some of you in regards to the fact that you just don't like accountability. You just don't. And you know what? I can't blame you. But at the same time, I want you to learn to love accountability because accountability is your barometer of success.
It is.
It's your barometer of success. So we're going to talk about that. And then I am going to do a couple of reminders in regards to falling in love with sales. Because again, we're, you know, into the third quarter, second half of the year. We're into the second month of that half, so we're already one month gone and into our second month. And, you know, there's many of you that are still not accomplishing your goals. And so we— I just want to, you know, touch on falling in love with sales because One, we had a conversation about this several weeks ago, and you can go back to Shedding the Bitch Radio on BlogTalkRadio. You can go to BallOfFireCoaching.com, look for our previous episodes, and you can find a discussion in regards to falling in love with sales. At the same time, you can go to our Powerhouse Mavericks Facebook group on Facebook and join, because I do weekly Powerhouse Maverick training every Thursday at 1 o'clock, and this was definitely a very detailed conversation around falling in love with sales. So you can always ask to join our Powerhouse Mavericks group on Facebook and, you know, weekly coaching, weekly training, weekly collaboration, weekly engagement, weekly opportunities for you to promote your business, to share with us what your goals are and get some support and help and even business from other people within the group.. So check that out as well. All right. So we want to get into this first question, but you know what, I'm going to bounce back just for a minute.
Okay.
So, yeah, we're all good there.
All right.
So how to come back strong from vacation. All right. For those of you who know me well, you know me well. For my belief and the foundation of everything that I do within Bola Fire Coaching, and that is planning. That is goals. That is accountability, which is appropriate, but we will talk about that in our next question. But the way for you to come back from vacation strong is to go into your vacation strong. Does that make sense? All right, let me explain what I mean. So, and I just realized something, let me just check something really quick if I can. So what that means is I want you to go into your vacation having already the plan for coming back from vacation. Because when you do that, then you don't have that headache. You don't have that, you know, that, that time slot that, that is needed. And because you're not going to have the mental capacity when you come back from vacation, that's why you're asking this question. You're coming back like maybe you're on a high from all the great experiences you did have. Maybe you're coming back exhausted because of the experiences you did have. Maybe you're even coming back drained because many of you, if you're, you know, having young kids or even teenagers and you're bring the whole family along on your vacation. So it's really not a vacation for you, although it might, you know, appear to be in your surroundings. Oftentimes many of you come back from vacation more tired than when you went on vacation. So the best way to overcome that is to already take that planning and take that, that intentional thought time and do it before. Make it a part of your, oh, I got to get ready, you know, and get everything done for vacation, which is your typical is I have to get everything done before I go on vacation. Well, I want you to plan everything for when you come back from vacation, even before you go on vacation. Does it make sense? So for instance, next Thursday I'm going to go away for a long weekend, and trust me when I say, even when I only go away for a long weekend, I'll come back and I'll be exhausted. I'm going to visit my 11 brothers and sisters and all my nieces and nephews and their spouses and loved ones. And, you know, I could be running around to different houses, but we're also socializing and partying quite a bit, and I'll be tired when I come back. So my Monday morning, I'll be like, oh gosh, I don't want to get back to work. However, getting planning done beforehand as to, okay, what do I need to be doing first thing Monday when I put my feet on the ground? In the morning, what do I need to be doing in order to get back into the groove of the work week? Because as an entrepreneur, we don't want to waste a day, let alone a few days or a whole week, to generate business, because if not, then we don't eat, right? Corporate professionals, you know, they have a safety net of a paycheck regardless if they're, you know, kind of sleeping at their desk or not. So, but even they don't want to waste any time getting back in, getting back into the groove their mojo around work. So I want you to be planning your week for when you get back before you go on vacation. Just add it to your to-do list of how to prepare to go on vacation. Okay. And, but when you get back, you're not going to have to be, you know, thinking about it Sunday night. You're not, you're not going to have to get up early Monday morning to kind of lay out your week. You're going to already have it done. And then that way you can just kick in with whatever it is that you planned out for the week. And of course you can do that through time blocking, and you could do that through your setting your goals and making your action to-do list and pulling out your priorities and all the things that we talk about quite a bit. So definitely go to ball of fire coaching.com or join our Powerhouse Mavericks group on Facebook, and you'll find tons of resources to training worksheets on Ball of Fire Coaching. In our blog, you'll find various blogs that even go into all of that where, when it comes to planning, goal setting, and even accountability. Okay. All right. Accountability is the next question. Several of you don't like it, and I, I get it. I totally get it. But I want to change your thinking around it. I want you to be considering the fact that accountability, you know, kind of sets you up for success. Accountability is really just making sure that, you know, if you say something and you're, you do, you're going, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you say that you're going to do something and you've planned it out and you've kind of done all of that work, you need to, you know, be accountable to it. Good, bad, or indifferent. Um, if you laid out for the month of July that you wanted to do $10,000 in, in revenue, uh, you wanted to bring on 3 or 4 new clients to get that $10,000. You're going to do it through this offer, this offer, and this offer. You had your list of, you know, the activities you were going to do and the outreach and, you know, the, um, what your enrollment calls were going to look like, and then what your conversion rate, you know, you wanted, um, and you were working toward and you find yourself at the end of the first week, let alone the fourth week, and you're falling short. Okay, now, or I'm going to say falling short, or you've exceeded it. All accountability is, is kind of owning up to what it is you said you were going to do and whether you did it or not. And now, granted, those of you who don't like it, you don't like it because you're, you obviously have had too many accountability check-ins that have fallen short. Maybe you didn't do the work. Maybe you kind of overestimated what your goal and objectives were going to be. Maybe you, you know, fell into a mindset warp and, you know, kind of that set you off into a state that kind of drained you and caused you to be unfocused. Whatever the case might be, Even when those things happen, being accountable to them and just owning them is so much better than kind of making excuses and deflecting or, you know, kind of avoiding them and not even being accountable to them, thinking that, oh well, if I just don't pay attention to them, they'll go away. Sure, the past will go away, but now you're setting a precedent each and every day. You're, you're training yourself emotionally and spiritually and mentally and even physically, financially, you're, you're kind of training yourself to not, you know, not feel the importance of accountability. And therefore, it really doesn't matter if you do what you need to do in order to accomplish your goals because there really isn't any, you know, check-in. There isn't any reward or consequence. So I do not need to be accountable to what it is I have committed to. And, you know, you could definitely do that. You can definitely live that way. But at the same time, living that way will not equal you achieving your goal. So you just have a decision to make. What is more important? Assessing and coming up with the fact that, hmm, maybe I did not do what I was supposed to do, or maybe I exceeded what I was supposed to do. Or not achieving your goals? Which is more important? Or, I'm sorry, I should have said, or achieving your goals? Which is more important, being accountable, good, bad, or ugly, or, and/or succeeding? I would hope you want both, being accountable and succeeding. That formula right there, accountability and success, is ultimate success. Okay, so learn to love accountability. It doesn't have to be, you know, like if you're having flashbacks to grade school, and I went to, well, I went to a Catholic first and second grade, you know, with the ruler. Yeah, I don't necessarily, you know, I didn't love accountability at the time when all of a sudden this ruler came out in front of me. But at the same time, I lived through it, and you do, you do and will too. So if, you know, all of a sudden you're having those beliefs and those emotions and thoughts and feelings from something in the past that caused you to not be accountable, well, just put your why in front of you as to why it is you want to accomplish what it is you're working so hard to achieve, and let that drive. Your desire to love accountability. Okay, all right, so I'm just going to jump over here really quickly, um, and just make sure— whoops, okay, we're good. Um, all right, so now the next question is, how do you fall in love with sales? Fall in love with sales. We all need to fall in love with sales.. But trust me when I say there was a time I absolutely did not. And I'm saying that time was not a week, a month, or a year. It was more decades throughout my entire corporate career. I even had a mentor, and I've shared this before, but I had a mentor throughout that whole time, and he was a sales guy, and he would, you know, On occasion, every time we came together to kind of work through how we were going to go into an account, and he was the sales guy, I was more the pre-sales guy. So he would open the door and I'd walk in and do my thing. Loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it. Well, he started trying to say, okay, well, I want you, you know, I think you'd be great doing the sales side of it, and plus you'd get all the commissions and all this kind of lovely stuff. Well, the difference between those two It's, you know, the difference between sales and pre-sales is sales has to go out and they actually generate that lead, whether it's from cold to hot, warm to hot, or maybe it's hot because they've been in your, your, um, contact, your network for, for a good long bit. Okay, um, and then you'd go in and, you know, you'd go in and, and get them to say yes to having a meeting with you. So let's translate that to coaches, consultants, and service providers. You're going and you're, you know, going either to cold, warm, or hot leads, and you're, you know, asking if they would like to get onto an enrollment call with you, a strategy call with you, a discovery call, whatever you call it.
It's a sales call.
And then you need to do the work to, to sell them and close them. Now, pre-sales, pre-sales The big difference with pre-sales is they've opened the door, they risk rejection, and they've obviously gotten a yes to then you being able to go in and do your thing. So that's where pre-sales comes in, is the door is open, they've said yes, and now going in and, you know, presenting, or even backing up and discovering and then presenting and proposing your products and services. And yes, there's still risk there, but the risk isn't as great as, or perceived as great as, when you're having to kind of knock on that door and get them to say yes from the very beginning. At least that was, that was my, my thinking. Okay, but Yancy would constantly try, you know, you'd be great doing, you know, sales and so forth and so on, and I just always ultimately refused. So it's quite ironic that I go out on my own, and just like you, if we're entrepreneurs, business owners, CEOs of our business, our number one objective is sales. So we have to learn to love sales. So to learn to love sales is to recognize that sales is all about serving. It's not selling. It's not the used car salesman. That's not the way things work anymore. People wanna like, know, and trust you so they'll do with you. So those of you in the Shedding Bits community hear this a lot, as well as in our Powerhouse Mavericks and Ball of Fire coaching. I always talk about like, know, trust, and do with your clients. And that is what your sales is all about, your selling. It's serving them in such a way that they learn to like, know, and trust you so they'll do with you. And serving is the fact that you are wanting to solve a problem for them. And who doesn't want to help someone get out of a problem or a situation that they're in? Help them be more efficient, help them be more productive, help them to be happier, help them to be more financially secure, help them to be able to build their business, help them to ratify, you know, whatever situation they might be having in their work or their life. You know, help them to be more healthy, help them to be more, more creative, whatever that— whatever it is that you are offering and whatever problems you're solving, all you're doing when it comes to sales is you're making sure people are aware that you can solve their problem if they have it, and therefore you're serving them in such a way that that they'll no longer have that problem, or they'll fill that need, want, or desire. And so if you could look at sales as just a means of serving others, then it doesn't— it's not a sleazy sales type of mode that you're working in. It's a giving, it's a serving, it's a problem solving, it's an opportunity granting type of activity as opposed to sales activity. You'll, you know, you convey the message of, you know, a problem somebody has, the impact it's having on their life, the benefit of solving that problem, and then what products and services you have in order to solve that problem or achieve their want, desire, and need. Then there's no, there's no selling necessary. You just simply say, is that something that you want to take care of? And yes, it happens to be, you know, X amount of money. Would you like me to, you know, would you like my help in solving that problem? And if you've done a job in the messaging of your, of your way of serving them, then, you know, most likely it's a yes. And if not, then there's tactics around how to handle objections and how to follow up and so forth and so on. But all of that is just mechanics. Learning to love sales though, and not to be like, oh, I don't want to sell, oh, I don't want to get up and make a phone call today, oh, I don't want to reach out and I'm going to bother that person. There's, there's absolutely no need for that anymore. You know, sales has changed. The whole approach to sales has changed. And the, and the whole collaboration, engagement, and community of sales is now all around serving. So the question that you can ask yourself is, do I want to serve other people? And if so, why? And that why is what you want to hold on to when you start getting in your head about having to sell and you stop yourself and you go, well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, you know, I want to help them because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, your why. It's important for me to help them because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, your why. Define that very clearly and hang on to it. Post it up in front of you. Look at it every time you're about to go, you know, get on a phone call or go out into a meeting, a sales type meeting, and look at it and just ground yourself in, I am serving them to solve a problem or to fill a need, want, or desire. The impact to them is going to be this, and the why I want to do that is because of this. And, you know, your idea of being afraid of sales will will start to, to go away. Okay, all righty, ready, all righty, all righty. Uh, let's see now, that was a good segue into, you know, making sure that you're all aware that, uh, in our Powerhouse Mavericks group on Facebook— and if you're not a member, then go and join, uh, and make sure I have your name and your, um, your email address because I send out a lot of resources and freebies and whatnot. Plus, I offer you a number of things like a 15-minute consult and that type of thing. But you can go out to Facebook, look for Powerhouse Mavericks Facebook page. It's actually facebook.com/groups/shifttoriches and join. And then Thursday at 1 o'clock, we will be having a discussion around your money beliefs. All right, because a number of you over the last month or so have definitely kind of voiced concern around the fact that you don't deserve or are worthy of making money. And therefore, we have to address this money belief system of yours because that's into the whole thing around loving sales. If you don't believe you deserve money, then sales is going to be a big challenge for you, and we definitely, definitely need to solve that. Okay, all right then, uh, until next Tuesday at noon Eastern time, uh, on Shedding the Bitch Radio, I will see you out in the Powerhouse Mavericks group and/or across the board on our social media, ballofirecoaching.com. So be sure to check everybody out there. All right, I will talk with you soon. Bye everybody!
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