Ask Me Anything with Bernadette Boas

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you? And happy, happy, happy Tuesday, the first Tuesday of June. Can you believe it? I certainly can't. I really, I really can't. People were saying that because of, you know, everybody being isolated over these last few months, you know, that time has stood still and things are moving very slowly. And quite honestly, you know, when I look at the fact that it is June, you know, it doesn't feel like it's moving any slower, and I wouldn't mind if it did. But anyway, I hope everybody is fabulous and, uh, just kicking off a new month with maybe new goals, maybe new energy, maybe new questions. And that's what we're going to be talking about today, is our Ask Me Anything episode, which are your questions that I am answering and providing you tips and advice and sometimes tough love. And if you have any questions of your own you can always put them right in the comment section, which myself and Deborah are watching, and/or you can DM me and I'll keep an eye out for those as well. Okay, because we have a number of questions today that cover the gamut between personal questions and professional questions, so that's good. Uh, they're kind of deep questions, uh, so we have, uh, about 4 to cover today. And yet at the same time, again, if you have any of your own, we will make sure all of them are addressed. Before we do, you can always go to sheddingthebitch.com/radiopodcast or downstream any of our episodes on Apple Podcasts and any of the streaming services. As well, be sure to subscribe and follow us on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and be sure to get all the updates on future guests and all that kind of good stuff. At— while at the same time, if you want to see our lovely faces, whether that's mine or any of our guests, then be sure to also subscribe and follow our YouTube channel, which is Bernadette Boas Bernadette Boas Shed the Bee TV, and you'll get all of our episodes that we've ever video recorded as well out there, along with some tips and, and some rich tips that I've recorded over the months and the years. Okay, let's see, next week we're going to be talking to Steve Gavartarda, and we're going to be hearing about his book. And it's a perfect, uh, discussion to have right now, especially in these times of adversity. But his book is In Defense of Diversity and Turning Your Toughest Challenges into Your Greatest Successes. Uh, so that'll be a great conversation that we'll have next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Uh, let's see what else I do want. I I want to be sure to thank our sponsors who make everything that we do here in the Shedding the Bitch and Shift to Riches community possible. And that's Deborah Parker. She's online right now. You can shoot her a little comment on Facebook if you want to say hi. And Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services, and she provides full-service virtual assistants and social media support to small to corporate size organizations. You can reach out to her directly. Go to deborahparker.va@gmail.com and shoot her an email. Uh, at the same time, I always have to thank Debbie Snelling of NG Tax Solutions. Uh, they are a full-service financial and tax services company. Great, great team, uh, that services smaller to corporate-sized clients as well, all over the country. You can go to NG taxsolutions.com to learn more about that and say hi to Debbie when you do. All right, but today is all about you and your questions. So let me give you an idea of what we're going to be talking about, especially if any of these questions resonate with you, then you'll certainly want to stay tuned, stay alert, and you know, just be listening for when we provide you some tips and, uh, action items around these questions. So the first one is about, um, actually it's a client of mine, uh, fearful of the fact that she was going to be fired and she was asking me what she should do. Uh, then I had another question about, uh, a, um, an individual whose company's been bought. They want him to stay with them, but isn't offering a similar or even better package than what he currently has, and he wants to understand what he should be doing about that. Uh, I then, uh, got a question in regards to franchising. Uh, they've been approached, uh, to buy into a franchise, and everything that they're hearing, uh, in their due diligence sounds really great, but they just wanted some pros and cons. And I have a lot of experience personally and professionally around franchising. So we'll talk about that. And then lastly, and I'm going to end on this note just because it's a hard conversation, but someone who's really been dealing with a great deal of depression, you know, far before all this situation in the last few months, far before the situations in the last couple of weeks. Or maybe even the last week when it comes to the riots that are taking place all over the country as a result of, uh, the murder of George Floyd. And, uh, she is really having a hard time dealing with the online attacks that she's been receiving. So we'll talk about that and what I suggested that she do around that, because it could be something that, um, you also might be dealing with. And quite honestly, I've had my own, my own situations online as well, because all you, you know, you all know that I don't hold back on kind of giving out my thoughts and opinions. And so, you know, one has to be prepared for that. So those are the questions that we're going to be addressing today. Again, if you have any yourself, maybe you're listening to this or watching this and um, after the show went live. And if that's the case, perfectly fine. Leave a comment on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page, or you can DM me. And I get a lot of you reaching out via LinkedIn, uh, so feel free to use any medium you need in order to get your answer— your questions answered, and whatever tips and advice and sometimes tough love that you might need. Okay, all right, so So let's kick in here if I can find my first question. All right. Now this one is going to be a bit of a surprise to many of you, but how it was written up is, I have a feeling I am being fired. This is my client. I have a feeling I'm being fired. My boss rarely involves or engages with me, and now she has called for a one-on-one next week, and I'm really stressed out about it. What do I do? Well, this is not actually a story about being fired, and I'll explain why that is. This is a story about all of us, especially as a result of these last several months and this last week, really needing to appreciate being in the now. Being very present, very, very still in what is happening at this very moment, not worrying and regretting the past and not conjuring up things that may happen 5 minutes from now, let alone tomorrow, next week, or 2 weeks from now. And so here, this was a Thursday, so here it was a Thursday, so, um, here it was a Thursday. This situation, I'm glad it's kind of come— it's completed full circle because you'll get a really good idea as to why I say this isn't about the, the chance of being fired. Um, so this— she reached out to me on a Thursday with that email that basically said, I think I'm being fired, can we talk? And I said, absolutely, 911, that's what I do, 911 calls. So, um, I got on the phone with her and we talked through it. And so for those of you who ever have this this sense of doom, uh, you know, I just started asking her questions. First off, why would she, she expect that she's being fired? And she went on to explain there's a lot of organization changes, there's a lot of downsizing going on. This whole pandemic hasn't helped in regards to companies, you know, restructuring and reorganizing and all that kind of good stuff. Um, and You know, then I said, okay, so she kind of logically had that list of, of thoughts with her. And then she— and then I said, okay, but how about where you're concerned and your contributions, your, um, involvement? And she said, well, that's where I start to really, you know, uh, question the fact that— and this is where it came in— that Her boss rarely involves her or engages with her. Her core boss, the boss's boss, doesn't even like look at her, let alone say hello and engage. Now she's in a position, a very— she's in a critical position for a, you know, top, top, top leader. And basically what I tell anybody in regards to that type of situation is if you're, for instance, like an admin, to a corporate CEO or to someone who runs a lot of businesses or to a political or business or entertainment type of individual whose schedule is, you know, just massively jam-packed. You can't take it personally if, um, if, you know, you're kind of, you know, kind of not involved, not engaged, if someone's not stroking you, if someone's not you know, you know, even saying good morning to you. Yes, it will feel isolating. It will feel as if you're not valued. At the same time, you really need to put your feet in the other person's shoes. You and, you know, whatever it is that you're working on may not be, you know, in their line of sight, line of importance, line of need. It might be in your bosses, but not your boss's boss or your boss's boss's boss. So there's a lot of confidence that is needed in that type of role when you're working for a significant, you know, office or, or department or nonprofit or whatnot. And, you know, there's just people of influence that have a lot of other things going on in their world other than what you individually might be dealing with. Anyway, so going on, um, you know, we talked about what she could be doing about it, because when you have a situation like that come up and you don't have an answer to it yet, right, all she knows is that she thinks she's being fired. So I said, okay, so let's— now that we've talked through, you know, why you think that is and what's going on in the company, what's going on with you, um, you know, let's talk about what you can do about it. Because everyone— we all have choices, we all have options. So her options were, were multiple. She could— and what I advised her on is, if it was going to absolutely kill her, stress her out, cause a lot of just, you know, burden on her between a Thursday and— I want to say it was a third— another Thursday, a full week. It might have been a Wednesday. But if it was going to cause her a great deal of stress then she could always pick up the phone and ask for that, that, you know, 10-15 minute meeting that was asked for right away, right then and there. Like, I need to know, um, you know. And it didn't help— I should have prefaced it also by saying it didn't help that an office peer, um, was kind of drumming up some anxiety for her by stating that, oh well, you know, I think we're being, you know, called in because she, you know, wants to eliminate some positions. She wants to eliminate some roles. So it, it didn't help that her, her so-called surrounding team, uh, was creating some of the drama as well. But anyway, so I said to her, you can address it right now, nip it in the bud, pick up the phone and get your answer. Now, a lot of us run from that. A lot of us wanna wait another week. And kill ourselves over stress because we don't want to know right now. You know, it's better to deflect or to push or to ignore, to avoid, because if it's eventually going to happen, I'd rather it be a week from now, you know, as opposed to today. You know, if it were me, I'd want to know right away. I'd just want to know right away. I said, okay, if that wasn't comfortable— so I said, okay, if that's not comfortable for you, then— excuse me, I have a Itch. That's attractive on video, isn't it? Um, and then I went on to say, okay, if that's not— if that's not, um, attractive to you to do, then you can simply kind of put in the work and prepare for what you believe is going to happen. You can, you know, go out, you could put your resume together. She hasn't had a resume in like 30 years. You could put a resume together, you could you know, work on your LinkedIn profile. You can work on, you know, a list of people that you're going to be reaching out to should you need to, you know, look for work. You could be seeking, you know, guidance and counseling from a career perspective around it, so forth and so on. So she could be proactive and start doing the work, put all of her stress, all of her energy into that, as opposed to sitting around being all, you know, stressed out and wigged out about it. So I laid out that, that made sense to her. That was like, well, you know, I've always wanted to be sure that all of my online presence is very current and up to date, not even for just finding a job, just because, you know, people do, you know, see my profile, look at my profile, that kind of thing. So that would be a good, useful, productive amount of work to put in. I then said, okay, so then the next option was You could just stay positive, stay out of your head, and just wait until next week. Just, you know, you can't do anything about it right now. You don't want to do anything about it right now is more so the, the, the, um, option. But, you know, if that's the case, then just you need to put it aside and you need to not ruin your weekend, not ruin the next week of work not ruin your interactions with other people, not ruin your sleep, not ruin your health, so forth and so on. Um, I knew that that was going to be the challenge for her, was, you know, dismissing all of that and kind of, you know, staying positive, do even what— if in doing the work that was going to be very valuable, productive work, I knew that was going to be a struggle and that's okay. That's all right. We all get in our heads right now. But that's what then drew me to really, you know, thinking about now, being present. And so I just tried to talk to her in regards to that, trying to ease that level of stress, anxiety over what— something that could happen that she doesn't know is going to happen, and she's fearful that it's going to happen. And yet until she has the answer, there's absolutely no value, value to her conjuring up all this drama within herself. It's just going to create more havoc than it's going to create benefit. But it got me thinking about, you know, living in the now, living in the present. And I've been working on this myself for the, you know, probably the last 2 or 3 years. When I found myself 3, 3 years ago about, you know, just sleepless nights worrying about something that then landed up never happening. So let me kind of go full circle. So we get to Thursday and I said, please let me know, please reach out, please call me, you know, don't hesitate. And so she simply sends me a text and she's like, I can't believe I just ruined a whole week of being stressed out when all it was was a touch base because she's moving— her boss is moving on, and she was just touching base with everybody in the office to just thank them and congratulate them on the great contribution they've been making, so forth and so on. And she said, you know, the conversation couldn't have gone better, and I can't believe I just, you know, wasted a full week and being totally stressed out about it. And that again brings me back to me focusing and her wanting to focus on the power of now. And you know, whether you know, whether you know the book The Power of Now— actually, I brought it out just to, you know, by Eckhart Tolle. It was something that I found online recommended. I think it was even recommended by Oprah. And so I decided to read it, and a friend of mine said, oh, that's a really heavy book. You know, just take your time. Read like a page a day or, or a page a couple of days. It's a heavy book. Now, because I have the fact that I've been working on really being present right at this moment, like right now I'm with you, I'm not worried about the fact that I have a full schedule ahead of me for the rest of the day and the fact that I have, you know, things I need to deal with on Thursday and Friday of this week and so forth and so on. I'm working to ensure that I'm maintaining being very present right now. And that's what this book is all about. And so Beth, you know, my friend, was telling me, just take it slow. And I landed up reading like 3/4 of it in a matter of 3 or 4 days in the mornings. I just got sucked in because all of it made sense to me. All of it started to sit really easily with me. And yet it was impossible to do, uh, for the first, for the first, um, you know, probably 6 months that I was, you know, really, um, paying attention before I read the book, paying attention and trying to stay in the now. But I just want to read something and then we're going to move on because this could be a whole, you know, session in itself is talking about being present and being now. But it goes back to the fact that my client And you probably do too. If you are, you know, holding on to the past and regretting the past and then stressed out about what's going to happen 5 minutes from now, let alone tomorrow or next week or next year, uh, you know, you are kind of throwing away all these individual moments, all of this individual presence, um, that all you could— all you have right now is right at this very moment. So let me just read this real quick. And actually, he's— uh, well, I'm echoing what he says. The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That's all there ever is. Now, for some people, they, you know, kind of, you know, hear that and they roll their eyes, uh, because if they're like me, they didn't get it. They didn't understand that. It didn't make sense to them. What do you mean I didn't have a past and I don't have a future? What are you talking about? But if you really sit with it and really think about it, and this is what I was stressing to my client, if you really think about it, what happens even a minute from now, we, you know, we can't— we have no control of, we have no vision into, and therefore, why are we allowing kind of the future, let alone the past, but the future, to really create so much stress and and so much anxiety for ourselves. And so she found herself— and if you think about it, and this is the last question that I asked her, um, and I'll ask you to think about it as well— is if you think about all the times that you were completely stressed out, fearful, insecure, negative, bitter, angry about something, uh, and thinking the worst-case scenario, because that's the state of mind I lived in for decades. But, you know, if you were— you know, you're always thinking about the worst case scenario. I want you to really think about and be honest about how, how often that worst case scenario actually happened versus maybe something totally opposite. Maybe everything worked out just beautifully like her, you know. Maybe it worked out to where, yeah, some of it, you know, was kind of difficult and fearful and whatever, but at the same time It wasn't— it wasn't the drama you created within yourself. Think about that, because if we can think about that on a regular basis, about how often we let our false evidence appearing real, which is that acronym I use a lot for fear, to really destroy our present, then we'd really say to ourselves, wow, I need to learn how to be present right now, um, and, you know, and really hold on to it. And I'll just gonna end with this one last thing to think about. And this is what got me really jolted in and shifted into the direction of, of trying to be as present as possible. When you think about just when you go to bed, okay, say you're having major financial troubles, okay? And maybe you lost your job and, uh, and you're not sure how you're gonna pay your bill tomorrow, how you're gonna feed your kids tomorrow, so forth and so on. Now this is gonna— that, that— this is gonna sound very simplistic, but think about as you're laying there wide awake, stressed out at 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock in the morning, as the clock is ticking and you're not getting any sleep, what are you able to do at that very moment in order to change your situation? 9.9 out of 10, 10 of those options are not available to you. Yes, there might be something that you could be doing. You could be an Uber driver, you know, driving in the middle of the night to earn extra money. Sure, you could do that. And someone threw that back at me in regards to that. Sure, you could get up and you could do that. But at the same time, you know, realistically, sitting up in the middle of the night stressed out over the fact that you can't call your bill collectors, you can't call an investor, you can't call a family member for a loan, You can't, you know, get on the phone with any debt, debt people that you have to work, you know, work things out there, you know, unless there's something you can absolutely do in that present moment, in that now, there isn't anything that you could be doing other than to get sleep so you're healthy and vital and, you know, and energized to be able to handle the situation when you're able to handle it, which could be the next morning at 8 o'clock, right? But you can't do it at 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night, 12 o'clock at night. So if you can learn to just recognize that when things come up, and I'm not talking something so dramatic as that, but even the simplest of things, even the simplest of things, even thinking about tomorrow, you can't do anything about tomorrow yet unless you wanna start planning it and working it out and, you know, getting rid of anything that is gonna stress you out about tomorrow. You could do that today. But until tomorrow comes, all you have right now, as Eckhart Tolle said in "The Power of Now," all you have is right now. That's all that's real. That's all that exists. A minute from now does not exist yet, so we can't do anything about it, okay? So the law, you know, the moral of that story is I was so glad it worked out for my client, And at the same time, I'm sorry. And I felt pained for her that she spent a week stressing out over something that was, that never happened. So if you, you can find a way to manage that yourself, then, um, then you'll be in a better state of being. You'll be in a better state of mind. I need to get my paper. Sorry, I dropped my papers. Okay. So that was our first question. Let's move on to number 2. Um, so, uh, this one is in regards to the fact that, uh, his company was bought and, uh, they want him to come along, which he's thrilled about because a majority of the people are being let go. So he was thrilled about that, uh, yet they're not offering him an equal, let alone a bigger, better package that he felt that he even deserved at the job that he that he was leaving and the company he was leaving. So he went into negotiations to discuss that, and they were, you know, pushing back and challenging him. And he was basically asking, what options do I have? What do I do? Now, of course, again, we all have choices, and in this case, it's really simple for him as well. He accepts it, the offer that they're making. He negotiates it. Or he leaves and finds a job that he thinks is going to compensate him what he deserves. So, you know, we talked about that. I said, okay, so right now you're in the middle of this, you know, what I'll call hot potato, which is negotiations. And it's a give and take. Anytime you go into a negotiation, whether it's a car dealer or it's an employer, remember, give them something, they'll give you something. You give them something, you know, you make it work out for the both of you. So I had him like lay out everything that he wants. What is his floor of an offer, which is the least that he'll accept? And then what's his ceiling of an offer? So if you're ever into negotiations, you know, make some notes in regards to this. Consider your floor, know it very well, and consider your ceiling, and consider all the other options, which we talked about on several episodes ago, all the other options you have in negotiating, which we're not going to get into right now. Um, so, you know, lay out all the things that you want to negotiate on, you know, not just your salary but your bonuses and your leave and your vacation times and your incentives. Maybe you get a car allowance, maybe you get a, you know, business, business credit card, so forth and so on, maybe a per diem. And you kind of understand what your floor is, understand what your your, um, ceiling is. And then you go in and you start having, you know, these dialogues. Now, the only thing that I, you know, cautioned him about, and I'll caution you about, is you don't want to push it to the point where they're, they're learning that you may be too difficult of an employee, let alone— and, you know, a negotiation, we should be very assertive, but there does come a point, there's a tipping point where then, then the, you know, person is saying, hmm, is this, you know, person going to be difficult as an employee, and therefore do we even want him or her? So, um, basically that's what I laid out for him is just, you know, go and negotiate each of those points. Uh, don't continue to send them back, you know, and force them to have to go and ask for approval. Um, you would hope that they have that authority, but you just don't want that to happen because again, it just doesn't it doesn't create a win-win for anybody. Um, and then he either accepts it once the negotiations are done, he either accepts it or he, he doesn't accept it and he goes and searches for another job. Again, it worked out just beautifully for him, and, um, he, you know, he accepted the position and will be moving on with them. But again, it's, you know, it's one of those things you have to Prepare, plan, and, um, and, you know, recognize that it has to be a win-win for both parties. Okay. All right. Um, let's see what we have here.

Okay.

I, next question, unless anybody else has any comments or questions in regards to that, and I'm going to keep an eye out on Facebook in case anybody does. Alright, so our next question is around franchising. I've been approached about buying into a franchise and what they say about the ease of starting a business makes sense to me. What are the pros and cons of a franchise? Now, this is going to come from my experience and my expertise. I did a lot of franchise consulting. Thank you, Deborah. I did a lot of franchise consulting. Um, uh, back in like the 2008-2012 time period when I first left corporate and went out on my own. And the reason why I got into it was because I became a franchisee. Now, I didn't start consulting other companies because of that, uh, or because I simply bought a franchise. It was more so because of the extensive research and the extensive knowledge I had picked up in those— that year of due diligence and in the 2 or 3 years that I was a franchisee. So I then, you know, kind of started to provide my own degree of franchise consulting. So this is what I shared with them. One, this person is from corporate and so looking to go out on their own and and seek out a franchise. And franchise is a, you know, is a great option, is a great option for people to consider, to do their due diligence around. The options I should mention are you start your own business on your own, or you go to something like a franchise, or you even buy a business from someone else. So while everything is in place and you're bought, you buy either you know, all of it, meaning if it's a brick and mortar, meaning if it's got assets to it, meaning if it's got customer lists, or you could take pieces of it, especially in the services business. People mainly buy them for not only their processes and procedures and all their intellectual property, but they buy them because of their customer list. So you have that option as buying a business. Then you have the option of starting your own business from from scratch, and then you have the option of franchising. And there are pros and cons to all of them, but I'm only going to address his question in regards to franchising. So, and this is coming from me more so as an ex-franchisee than, than even a consultant, but of course they get blended together. Now, the pros The huge benefits of a franchise are the fact that if you are looking to, if you are looking to start a business easily, if you're looking almost for a business in a box, this is a great way to go. If you're looking to be able to take, you know, other people's pains and tears and glories that they've gone through in order to establish this franchise then, you know, this is a great way to go. Now, why that is, is franchises— if for anyone that might not even understand the whole franchising model, franchising basically means that— I'm just going to keep it simple— that someone, you know, has put all the things in place, you know, in order to get that business up and running, whether it is a product business or a services business. They've made all of the, the mistakes, they've done all the testing, they've learned all the lessons, they have all the best practices, they have all the standards and the processes and the procedures and the infrastructure that they know is needed in order to effectively run a business. Now, there's a great many franchises out there that don't have all of that, and we'll talk about that in the um, you know, gotchas. Um, but the— so the pro of a franchise is the fact that, you know, you don't have to go out— if you're going as an individual business owner and, and starting something on your own from scratch, you don't have to go out and figure that out. You know, you, um, you don't have to go out— even if you buy an asset or, or another existing business, you don't have to go out and figure out how you fit in and how you're going to fit it in to your way of doing business. You know, franchising is— it's everything is in this box and they hand it to you and, you know, and they say, you know, good luck and we're here for you. Which brings me to the other pro, which is if you want a team of people, not a direct team in your business, but more so a team of colleagues, peers, fellow franchisees, fellow business owners with a leader, which is a franchisor, that you can rely on and lean on as you start to, you know, open and build and grow your business, then franchising is also a great mechanism for doing that. And if you want to really, like I said, take everything that they've done and/or failed to do and, you know, leverage that right away, then it's a great opportunity for, for you to have a franchise. So let me give you my experience when it comes to the pros. When I went out on my own and I actually hired a franchise consultant, I hired a business broker because I was considering both. I wasn't considering starting something from scratch. That to me just didn't make sense. I come from an intellectual property background, so it didn't make sense for me to have to start from scratch. So I went looking into both of those models. I found a franchise model that provided me everything that I would want to start my own consulting and coaching business. And when I say that, what I mean is, yes, they had the team, they had the franchisor. Um, I really wanted the intellectual property. I wanted all the processes, the procedures, the templates, the workbooks, the methodologies, the certification process. I wanted all of that because I knew that that would allow me to ramp up, you know, much faster than if I was to do it on my own. And so that's what I loved about franchising. So if, you know, you want a business out of a box, it's a great way to go. Cons are this— cons are it's a big investment depending upon what type of franchise you go with, but at the same time, you know, investments are investments, so, and it's a risk. Business is risk, so it's an upfront investment. Franchising, because of all the pros I just gave you, there are also cons. There are also, you know, strict standards and processes. There are also strict branding and marketing and online Imaging, I'll call it. I'll keep it simple. They are firm in kind of the process and the methodology and the approaches that you're using in your engagements with your customers or clients, whether it's a product or a service. They, of course, they have strict guidelines, you know, as to how far outside the box you can go. Some you can't go outside the box. That business in the box that you got, that's your business regardless of anything you might, you know, have a great idea about. And yet some let you go kind of outside the box a little bit, but they'll definitely constrain you. And then the other, you know, con for people is the fact that there is ongoing fees and royalties despite you get business. Despite you have revenue, despite you're growing your business, despite anything, you still, uh, even if revenue is not coming in, you still owe monies, uh, each month, typically each month. Um, so those are, you know, some pros and cons. And so what, what to do is in this situation is first go and really assess yourself, um, both formally and informally. What I mean by that is There are online personality assessments you could be taking to see if you're a fit for a franchise or not, to see if you're fit to be an entrepreneur or you're best— better in a corporate organization. There's assessments for all kind of variations of that because you do need to determine if you are a business out of the box type of person. You do need to determine if you are you know, you like drawing outside the lines. And if so, how far outside the lines do you typically like to, to go? Because like I said, you're going to have limitations when it comes to a franchise. That's the whole benefit. The whole pro of a franchise is kind of that constraint because it also keeps everything standard across the brand. So whether you're a franchise in Atlanta or you're a franchise out in California, You know, they have all of these standards and constraints for the sole purpose of making sure that you're leveraging, you're able to leverage the, the max of that brand because it's established itself, whether regionally or nationally or globally, because of all the pros that we've discussed. So you really want to, want to ensure that you're assessing yourself formally. What I mean by that is, you know, via those on, you know, those assessments. And then informally, meaning go and talk to your family members, your friends, your, you know, colleagues, your bosses, ex-bosses, your ex-customers. Ask them whether or not, you know, do they feel that you'd be a good fit for a franchise or a, you know, starting a business on your own or buying a business based on your personality and your leadership style and your ability to sales and market. Because the big question here, which I didn't even mention yet, is you could buy a business out of a box. You could start a business on your own. You can even buy a business that's already established. And yet, if you're not a leader, if you're not the type to be able to and want to be in a business and get dirty and be the janitor all the way up to the CEO and build a team and manage a team and do all the things that it takes to be a business owner, an entrepreneur, a CEO, then that's also the big question you want to be answering for yourself. You know, because when you're a franchise, you're responsible for all of it, even the sales and marketing, you know, and, you know, the, the perceptions people have of that, you know, goes all over the board. So you really want to do the work and the due diligence and, and the self-assessment to ensure that you're that you're that personality. And I'll tell you kind of my— I'll wrap up with my end result and story around that. But, and then you can always hire, go and hire a franchise consultant, go and hire a business broker, help— let them help you go through all of that. Because franchise, both of them, franchise consultants and business brokers, they will have these assessments. Because they want to assess kind of not only are you a fit for franchising, but what kind of franchise are you a fit for? Which is what I loved about my friend, um, franchise consultant, is she went all over the board, you know, different, all different kinds of things, brick and mortar services, um, you know, various industries, various types of products. Um, yeah, it was awesome. It was a great experience. And that's where I really picked up a lot of the education, the expertise I have. In the franchising world. So do that work, do that due diligence, take the time, because like I said, it's an investment. So you want to make sure that you're doing, doing the homework. What you want to watch out for, and this is the biggest lessons, what you want to watch out for is you want to watch out for franchisors who just want to take your money, who don't do the work to really ensure that you're a fit for them, to, to that they don't do the work to really make sure that you understand what your role and responsibility is. In running the business, in the sales and marketing, in the team building, and then ultimately in revenue generation, which means royalty payments and fees that will be ongoing. So you want to ensure that the franchisor is doing everything possible to make sure you are a perfect fit for them. And like I said, if they don't do assessments, you know, early on, and I'm talking early on to where you're still like evaluating, I probably evaluated anywhere from 8 to 12 franchises. Franchises that I, you know, was considering. And so it's, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work, but at the same time, it will protect your investment, I promise you. And then, of course, if— now, I want to be careful when I say this, but from my own experience, you also want to be sure that you're not in so early in the franchise that they don't have the established business out of a box. That they don't have the standards and processes and procedures and the best practices and the lessons learned and all the infrastructure that is needed. They don't necessarily need 100%. You know how I always talk about, you know, you don't always have to have perfection. You can have imperfect perfection, but you definitely want to be very aware and very cautious about how little or how much they have in place when you go to consider or invest in a franchise. You want to ensure that you're— that you've got the, the stability that you're looking for and the reason why you went the franchise route versus something else. So let me kind of tell you my experience. So my experience was, yes, I went after IP and it was costly. And actually, I'm going to do a whole work session on this. And basically it's going to be how I lost $150,000 in my first months of of business because I did go looking for intellectual property and I found a really strong and, um, uh, I won't say stable because they were somewhat new, but they were a very strong— they had a strong brand, uh, they had a strong footing. And so I felt really good about what I was getting, you know, what I was investing in.. And so I did. And yet, and I even did all those assessments. Okay. So I did all those assessments. That's why I recommend going and asking other people's opinions of, you know, your best working model, your best working approach, your best leadership style, so forth and so on. Because even though I did all those assessments, when I went back after leaving the franchise and when I went back to talk to some of my trusted advisors and colleagues and mentors and and so forth and so on. They flat out said, I would never have recommended you'd buy a franchise. And this is the reasons why, is I didn't want to be constrained. I wanted to draw outside the box, and my box went like all the way outside the box. I wanted to establish my own brand. I had the— my— all the intellectual property that I was expecting to get out of the franchise, I had it. And yet it was in my head, mind you. And, you know, but yet I could take the time and put it down on paper. And so for all those reasons, um, and, you know, and I didn't want the— I didn't need— I didn't need or want the team of people, uh, only because of the fact that I knew the type of business I wanted to build and I knew the type of people I wanted to work with and I knew the the demographic even of the people I wanted to work with. And so I was finding it— I was finding that I personally wasn't getting the benefit and the value out of that network of fellow franchisees and the franchisor. Now, that doesn't, you know, that doesn't mean every franchise, franchise has that situation. It means that the individual buying the franchise, you in this case, needs to really ensure of what it is that you want out of a business and what you want to put into it in order to ensure what the right business model is that you want to look at for yourself. For me, it just, it did it. I probably, I held on to it for about 2 and a half, 3 years, and I just found myself too constrained and not able to build my own brand. And my own, you know, kind of legacy. And therefore it wasn't a good fit for me. So just do the due diligence, do the work, um, ask a lot of questions, ask a lot of people for information, um, and recognize that if you do all of that, you know, you, you won't turn, turn out like I do. Not that you, you know, may decide at some point that it didn't work out for you, but my situation isn't unique, but at the same time, it's not the majority. Just do your work, okay? All right, let's see, we have one more question left, um, and I had mentioned that I wanted to save this to the last. So this came from someone who, uh, and I had known, um, was, was greatly depressed long before the pandemic, long before the last week of riots and the situations with George Floyd. Floyd. But she went on to say, I decided to turn off the news as my depression was getting worse and worse. Then on Facebook, I responded to a number of posts regarding riots going on, but honestly, I did not know what triggered them. Turns out it was the killing of George Floyd. I was verbally attacked and humiliated by almost everyone online. I don't know how to make it stop. So let's talk first about how to, you know, how to make it not start, because I think that's the more important thing to look at, is how to, you know, also make it not start for you. So first off, you know, we all know that social media is just a bed of, mm, of just a lot of angst out there. And forget about the last, you know, several months. It always is. And at the same time, it's also a great place to meet and collaborate and engage and connect and learn about each other and, you know, and grow with one another. Unfortunately, they know that yin and yang can just bite you in the butt. And for this individual— and I've been, I've been victim to it as well— You know, especially if you're— you are forthright in your thoughts and, and your opinions and in your position on things. Uh, however, I just want to caution any of you who may already be a little bit on the edge, who may already deal with, you know, kind of self-confidence issues, depression issues, self-worth issues, negativity issues. Just if you're fragile in any way, shape, or form social media may not be the place for you. Um, and, or, and this goes to, you know, talking about where to start or how to start, not start it, is especially on very sensitive topics, very, very sensitive topics. And that would be politics, race, religion, um, you know, sex, you know, just pick the topics that really kind of get, get to you and just stay away from them if that's the case. All right, um, so how not to make it start is a number of things. One, that just stay away from topics that are going to trigger you. Obviously, this individual, she knows what triggers her, so stay away from that. As compelling as it may be to want to contribute and want to, you know, add your thoughts, Stay away, because just know the haters are out there. They're out there. They're waiting to be able to pounce on somebody. Okay, so just recognize that up front and stay away from it. The other thing to do though is if you do want to get engaged, if you do want to voice your opinion, if you do want to get into the dialogue and raise your voice, which many of us, especially about this whole situation, need to do, then at least do your research. I mean, you admitted that you didn't even know what triggered the riots. What, what, why, and what would you be contributing that's going to be a benefit if you don't even know the source of the situation? So at least take a breath, step back, and do the research to learn what it is that is being talked about and for what reasons, you know, good, bad, or indifferent, before you contribute. I'm not telling you to go and read, you know, a 5-inch book or spend you know, 20 hours on, on news channels, but at least go and do some, you know, online research, cross, cross media sources. So you're getting, you know, a variety of the lens that's being used, not a one-sided lens. Make sure you're just getting educated about what it is you're going to start contributing to. Okay, and hold back that compulsion to want to put your, you know, put your voice into something you're not comfortable or you're not even abreast to what's really going on. Okay, and then, you know, once you're researched and once you're knowledgeable, then you can simply say, you know, in your post, this is your opinion, you know, these are your thoughts. You don't mind if anybody disagrees with it, but you're going to accept expect that it's done maturely, respectfully, humanely. And if not, then, you know, you, you do not hesitate to delete any, you know, demeaning, rude, or profane comments or posts. I mean, that's your position to do so, because I understand, and it— there has been a lot of dialogue about, you know, the, the value and the purpose of writing and value, the purpose of all the, all the hate speech that's out there. And you know, you have to look at it completely, all sides of it, even if you can't seem to get your hands around it. But you need to in order to then kind of really, really understand your position on it, because you're gonna need to stand firm to not only those that jump on and say, great comment, great, yes, I totally agree with you, well said, all those, those things. Because there's going to be those that come out and just call, you know, call people stupid and ignorant and rude. And then, you know, and sadly, you know, are you living under a rock? And I apologize for, you know, anyone throwing that at you, but you want to be sure that you're well informed, you're up to date, and and that you're doing, you know, you're asking for things, um, to be done respectfully and, and humanely and maturely. It's really maturity for me. It's like, come on, people, let's be mature about this, shall we? Anyway, so please don't add to your stress and depression and anxiety by getting in the middle of very volatile, um, type of conversations in person, online, but yet at the same time we do need to stand up and we do need to, uh, have our voices heard. And all I'll say around everything going on is just make the voices that you want heard, or your own voice, as loud as you want it to be. Just make sure that it is done respectfully. And purposely and, and humanely. Just, you know, that's all I'm gonna say about it. That's all I'm gonna say about it. I could say a lot about it, but just ensure that you are raising your voice. We need all of our voices out there right now in, in defense, in support of George Floyd, his family, you know, the, the community, the culture, all of it. We do need to— we do need to stand up. We just need to do it in a way that is going to incite change and not incite violence. Okay. All right. So I mentioned next week we're going to be talking to Steve Gavatorta in regards to his book Defense of Adversity— In Defense of Adversity. Turning Your Toughest Challenges into Your Greatest Success. And at the same time, be sure to like our— this episode, comment below on the episodes, whether that's commenting in Facebook, commenting on BlogTalkRadio, commenting on Apple Podcasts. I'm not sure you could do that, actually, I take that back. But, um, and just be sure to also subscribe to our channel so you can get updates and you can get information on upcoming guests as well as all of the previous episodes that we've had. And of course, you can always go to sheddingthebitch.com for all of the episodes. If you go and— sheddingthebitch.com/radiopodcast. Okay, all right. Well, for everyone here in the Shedding the Bitch community, I want to wish you a wonderful, wonderful, peaceful, and prosperous week. And I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Thanks everyone, bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.