Be Schmaltzy and find Success with Tony Schmaltz

Are you ready to create riches in your work and life? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So let's welcome your ball of fire host, Bernadette Boas.

Good day, good day, good day everyone, and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio. And yes indeed, I am Bernadette Boas, and I'm really excited about this conversation. I'm actually curious about this conversation, but because it's all about being smaltzy— you wondering what that is? I am too. And I'm so, um, interested and excited to talk with our guests who I will introduce in just a minute. Um, but just some thank yous. Thank you, thank you, thank you, uh, that have to go out to our new and ongoing listeners. Um, those ongoing listeners are actually rating and commenting and tweeting and sharing and, and, um, um, subscribing to Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV. And, uh, therefore we have new listeners and viewers coming on on a daily basis, which is very exciting, both on Shedding the Bitch TV on Face— I'm sorry, on YouTube, as well as Shedding the Bitch Radio on any one of your podcast streaming services and/or Facebook and Twitter. So keep rating, keep giving us suggestions on your top-of-mind topics that you'd like us to talk about, as well as the experts that we could be actually bringing to you. And then continue subscribing and reviewing and rating us. It is how we are gonna get more eyes and ears, especially from women all around the world, listening in and really helping to transform their work and their lives and create riches in both their work and life that they deserve. All right, I also need to thank our ongoing sponsor, North Georgia Tax Solutions. Debbie Snelling and her team provide full-service tax, full-service tax services and financial services to small to corporate-size clients all around the country, not just North Georgia. And she and her team are just gangbusters and will do a fabulous job for you, both personally and professionally. So please reach out to them at North— I'm sorry, NG Tax Solutions. .com. Tell Debbie I said hello, and like I said, she'll take fabulous care of you. The other sponsor that I definitely need to call out, um, is a recent new sponsor to us, and they are more local to, uh, Georgia, but they are Up Top Roofing. And, uh, Jay and his team are absolutely fabulous and have been taking care of me and a good number of people around the Atlanta area. For about the last 12 or 15 years. And so he has been an active listener, and he and his whole office have been active listeners to Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV over the last, I would say, 5 or 6 years. And I will be honored to be able to refer him to anyone that has any type of roofing or home services needs. So you can reach out to him at up-top-roofing.com. Roofingofatl@yahoo.com. Take a note, all right? And he will do you well, trust me. Now let's get into our conversation for today. I'm very curious, aren't you? Be smaltzy. We're going to talk about how being smaltzy can help you be successful. And he, our guest, is teaching people how to get out of their comfort zone to succeed in business, career, and life. So what, um, both of us want you to be listening for is what is the Be Smaltzy movement, all right, and what it means to be smaltzy, uh, the smaltzy tasks that will also help you not only succeed but really kind of find focus and clarity and confidence in the work and the life that you're leading. So a little bit about our guest. As the founder of the Be Smaltzy movement, Tony Smaltz inspires people to be smaltzy in order to redefine themselves, stop people-pleasing, and unleash the success they desire. Tony began coaching people to success nearly 20 years ago, and in that time he's learned from many leaders, mentors, and coaches. The Be Smaltzy movement was developed as a way to help people get out of their comfort zones, to be more authentic, and to do what they are afraid to, what they are afraid to do for their own success. The German translation of the word smaltzy literally means, I love this, overly sappy or cheesy, like a joke is cheesy. This is the principle behind Tony's coaching. To be smaltzy, or be cheesy, sappy, since for many, many people that means getting out of their comfort zone, which is where real growth occurs. Most people are shocked by Tony's smaltzy tasks that he assigns them, which literally force them to be uncomfortable in a positive way. Tony partners the Be Smaltzy movement with his smaltzy tasks and his mindset and marketing training to show people the success they are truly capable of. And he has a surprise offering just for our guests of Shading the Bitch Radio. So welcome to the show. How are you, Tony?

I'm wonderful, Bernadette. Thank you so much for having me on the show.

Oh, you are absolutely welcome. And I'll tell you what, the minute I had this come across my desk, I was like, oh, I am so interested to find out what this is all about. But before we dive into all of that, give us an idea of who you are, and then we could talk about how did this all come about in regards to you forming this 20-year practice that is transforming lives.

Sure, absolutely. So my family and I live here in Panama City, Florida. We are actually originally from Seattle, Washington, and we moved here about 3 years ago, so all the way across country. Whole different change, you know, left, left the aerospace corporate career to come start doing this. So it was a big change. We unfortunately also went right through Hurricane Michael, the big Cat 5 hurricane. So we were right smack in the middle of that. But it was adventure, adventure, and we learned so much from it. It was actually, believe it or not, in a way kind of fun, kind of. And so we enjoyed that. I've got— my wife and I actually have 4 children, and the 2 oldest are actually our nieces that we took in when they were 9 and 10 and raised them as our own. So we've got 26, 25, 22, and 14.

Oh wow, there's a house full.

It really was. The older ones are moved out now, but it was, it was for a while, it was, it was quite hectic.

Yeah, I can only imagine.

I've got 4 brothers. And so being schmaltzy really was kind of a stronghold of our growing up, even though we never really referred to it that way. It really was. Getting 5 boys together really causes the schmaltziness to come out.

Yeah, I have 6 brothers, Tony.

You got me there.

I totally get it. I totally get it. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's really cool. But so you say that be schmaltzy wasn't a part of like you know, the ingredients of your family makeup. So how did it come about to where all of a sudden you were like, wow, you know, there's this not only brand but this movement that can help transform lives?

So when I say that it wasn't a part of it, it really was. We just didn't recognize it necessarily. Yeah, yeah, you know, at the time. It wasn't until years later. Uh, so the, the background behind the Be Schmaltzy movement and, and the way I use the phrase now actually comes back to when I was an exchange student in Germany in high school. So I spent, I spent a month in Germany and, you know, teenager, 17 years old, hormones flaring, I was hitting on all the girls, flirting with all the girls of course, and the guys over there started calling me Schmaltzy. And I just thought they were playing with my last name, you know, Schmaltzy, okay, I'll just go with it. Wasn't until a year later when talking to one of my my host partners over there, that he said he started calling me schmaltzig. And I said, you know, what is that really? And he's like, oh, you didn't know? Well, because when you were flirting with all those girls, you were the cheesiest lines, the happiest— I mean, cheesiest stuff ever. And so, you know, 18-year-old me, I'm kind of offended. I'm like, what? Oh man. And so fast forward now, almost 20 years, and I've got this coaching practice I'm working on.. And I'm trying to figure out, I mean, I like more lighthearted, I like people, you know, being more open like this. And one night I just had a dream about that moment of him explaining that to me. I woke up, I'm like, that's it right there. That is my wife and I in a nutshell. My family, we are as schmaltzy as they come. And now we just need to own it and go with it.

Right, right. And cheesy and sappy.

That's right.

Who doesn't want to be cheesy and sappy? Oh, that is a great story. And now, how long ago was that?

Oh, that was 23, 24 years ago.

Wow. And it's amazing how, like, it came in your sleep, it came in a dream, and you— and because many of us forget our dreams or they don't hang on, and you know that it's for a bigger purpose when you hang on to it and remember it. That is so cool. That is very cool. Okay, so beyond what you've already described about what it means to be small C, what does it really mean? Like, what is the movement that you have been able to create around it?

The movement is really, you know, like, like you were describing earlier, it's really about getting people out of their comfort zones. Like you said, who doesn't want to be sappy or cheesy? Most people do. Most people have that side of them. They just don't let it out. Right, they sit there, they worry too much about what other people are gonna think, and they're like, no, I couldn't do that, that person might think of me wrong, or they might, they might judge me. Well, this is about getting you out of that comfort zone. Forget it, that's who you want to be, be that person, right? That's, that's what the Beach Multi Movement's about. It's letting your inner cheese out. Let your sappiness out. And if that's not who you are, fine, it's about letting you out, right? Don't let somebody else's opinion hold you back from being who you really want to be.

Oh, but that's so hard, Tony. It's so hard not to like not to get fed in from, you know, the looks or the comments or whatever the case might be. So what do you tell people to really focus on and, and do so they don't care what anybody else thinks?

Well, the first thing is we have to find out what they really want, who they really want to be. And that's— so when I'm working with the client, that's where we start. Okay, what do you really want out of life? And what do you— who do you need to be to get there? And usually you end up with a list that's this long and we end up focusing on a few things that really fit the individual. And then you mentioned it before, those schmaltzy tasks, those are not easy, but they— I start them a little easier and make them harder as they go along through the program, and by the end I've got people thinking, wow, I can't believe I just did that. I'll give you an example.

Okay, great.

I'll give you the very beginning one that I always give everybody, and this is, this is your freebie for all your listeners. This is— and every morning when you wake up, or every morning and evening when you're brushing your teeth, brush with your opposite hand. Whatever your, whatever your primary hand is, you're always brushing with that. Brush with the opposite hand. And it seems kind of minor, but when you do it at first, you're like, oh man, this is harder than it sounds. And it's teaching your brain to do stuff that's, that's harder to do. Like, okay, now my brain's starting to think subconsciously, starting to think I can do the more difficult stuff. Now, as you move into a few weeks, I might have you go out and ask for something. Go into a restaurant and ask for something that's completely a different genre than what they have. Like, go ask for pizza in a sushi restaurant, you know, something that's completely harmless. And, you know, I actually had a client who actually got pizza one day at a sushi restaurant. They actually ordered her pizza from somewhere else and had it brought in while her kids had sushi. I mean, oh, that's hysterical. So those things are, it's just, they seem, they're very cheesy, sappy, like we talked about, but they are forcing people out of their comfort zone.

Sure, yeah, yeah, 'cause when people are just kind of feeling like in a blanket all the time, you know, just those little openings of that blanket are like, woo, rush of anxiety and stress and fear and insecurity and doubt of how is someone gonna interpret this. Breaks.

Yeah. What happens though is once you do these, then the adrenaline starts going. You're like, I want to do another one. Let's go, let's go, what's next? And so you carry that momentum into your business. And most of my clients are business owners, entrepreneurs, some career folks, but most of the entrepreneurs, they carry that momentum over into their business. And they're like, you know what, after pulling that off, it's not that hard to talk to those, you know, 20 people or 30 people I need to talk to. So it's like Once you start breaking down that wall of the comfort, it just explodes from there. And by the end of, end of our programs, or even some of those clients that have carried on longer than that, you just, you look at them from the beginning where we record our calls to where they're at now, and you're like, are you— did you go back and look at this? Did you see who you were back then and now who you are now? I'm like, this is night and day.

Yeah. And is the whole premise, especially because you commented that you work with entrepreneurs predominantly, And for not— and as a result, they're probably focused, and a lot of anxiety comes up for entrepreneurs when it comes to selling. And therefore, these, these more social, personal little tasks that you're giving are, you know, you're leading them to then recognizing that, well, if they were able to do those things, right, they should be able to then pick up the phone and be okay in talking to a business owner stranger. Is that the whole premise of it?

100%. And not just that piece, I mean, that's a big piece of it because most people do struggle with the sales part of it.

Right.

However, just in general, there's tasks that people have for their business that they know, most entrepreneurs know what they need to do, they're just afraid to do it. And they're just procrastinating it because they're like, ugh, I really don't want to talk to that guy, or I don't want to invest over here or do this over here. And when you start breaking down, like you said, on a personal level, breaking down those comfort zones and those walls, It's much easier to like, okay, wait a minute, so I just asked for pizza at a sushi restaurant. Guess what? That's not as bad as asking this guy for a sale, you know?

Right. And what have you found in your 23 years of experience? What have you found to be the reasons why they are afraid or they're apprehensive or they're avoiding or ignoring the work that needs to get done? What have you found to be the common denominators?

The common denominator is the vision of who's the authority. You know, we look at our bosses being the authority. We look at our parents as being the authority. We look at the government as being the authority. And oftentimes we stop thinking about what is best for us. We stop thinking about number one or even our family and ourselves. And we start thinking about, okay, well, if this person, if I do this, this person's going to be upset, whether it's the boss or parents or government. When we— so it's really, it's living in the fear of what's to come, in the fear of the future. Instead of acting what we know is right today, we live in fear of what's to come, what somebody else's opinion might be, and what somebody else's authority might be. And it's really getting to the point of asking people, what's the worst that could happen? I could get fired. Well, great, could you find another job? Well, yeah. What about your business? What's the worst that could happen if they could say no. Great, so you move on to the next one, right? It's, it's, they, we fear the worst, and even the worst is really not that bad, right? We take, we take what's this big and make it this big, right?

Right. And what have you found, because again, since you've mentioned it again as well, about they're so worried about what other people are gonna think, you know, what kind of, what is it that, what does it take them to get to the point where they're just like, you know what, I could give a crap, I'm gonna do it for myself, I mean, I, I just don't care. Because that's— I mean, that's where I've been for quite a while. But what do you see in your clients to get them to that point?

So it is, it is just being relentless. It really is. Um, these, these things, these tasks that we're talking about, this multitask and getting people uncomfortable It is being relentless about that. They really do need to continuously force themselves to get out of their comfort zone. And it's all about a choice. It really is all about a choice. And so there's some people that I've actually— clients, I've asked them to be— what they do is they fill out a questionnaire for me before each session. Like, here, here's what we did this week. Here's my tasks I did. Here's what I didn't do. And there's clients that I've actually said, nope, we need to reschedule till next week because you didn't finish your schmaltzy tasks. Go finish that, and then we'll come back next week. And then it's one— only once did anyone ever challenge me with that, and they tried not to do it 2 weeks in a row. And we said, well, I said, this course is non-refundable, so if you, you know, so they, they work their way into it. And then like, she was one of those that was super introverted, and by the end she was like, I can do whatever I want. She had customers flying out of her ears. And I was like, I was like, Angie, that is amazing. Like, she's one of the ones I said, go back and look at yourself here, you know, 6 months ago and now today.

Oh, that's so— oh, and was it your persistence, or was it also the fact that she got to a point of maybe being tired of being that introvert? She was tired of feeling as if, oh God, I deserve it, but yet I just can't seem to break through. You know, was it a culmination of things?

Absolutely. I mean, everyone's got their own choice to make, and you really, as individuals, we have to make the choice to want— we have to want to make the change, and we have to make that decision decision to change. So I mean, I can be relentless all I want, but it's really on you to make that choice and make that— take that action, right?

Yeah, I love that. I love that. All right, so help us understand more about your small C CAS. Um, are they, are they predominantly, uh, because you are working with entrepreneurs.

Yes.

Um, so are they predominantly around their mindset? Are you finding that that's where the crux of the work is, or 'Cause you also mentioned that you do marketing training and some other things. Or do they kind of cross over also into business tasks?

So they're totally separate, actually. So the Schmaltzy Tasks are literally all around getting out of your comfort zone on a personal level. Now, because we actually, when I work with clients, we develop an actual framework specific to their business or their career. So here's what you're gonna do, here's your action items to help move your business forward, and then here's also on top of that your Schmaltzy Tasks the week. So it's, it's a little bit of both, but they, they are separate. You know, we work on, we work on a structure and a process to help somebody grow their business, and then the Schmaltzy Task is in addition to that to help them break down that wall and get out of the comfort zone to accomplish the rest of this stuff.

Right, right. All right, all right, awesome. So how, how be— how can being Schmaltzy help someone succeed? I mean, what— I mean, beyond the task, there's got to be Secret sauce, Tony. There's got to be a secret sauce there.

It's no secret, even though it is a secret. A lot of people like to call it a secret, but it's really no secret. It is, it is about finding that person you want to be, and it's about defining what success really means to you. Because so many people, when you ask them, what does success mean to you, the first thing they go is to the financial, their bank account. They're like, oh, I want a bigger bank account. Well, is that really it? You know, Jim Rohn, motivational speaker Jim Rohn, that used to say, he's like, if more— somebody said, I need— if I made more money, I'd be more happy. And he's like, well, if you make more money, it's only gonna make you more of who you already are. If you're already miserable with your life, you're gonna be more miserable with more money. If you're already lacking here or lacking there— so helping people define their success or determining what it really means to them. You know, we go through an exercise of where you at in your personal life, your mindset, your spirituality, your physical state, where— I mean, where do you want to be? And So my definition of success that I help with other people is finding— is having happiness in the important areas of your life. And whether that's relationship, financial, I mean, there's multiple areas we go through. So the secret sauce really is not so secret. It's just, it's making the choice. It's, it's, it's deciding you're going to be happy with what you have and then being happier when you have more.

Right, right. But at the same time, you're not giving yourself enough credit here, Tony. At the same time, there's a lot of, you know, coaches and consultants and folks out there, and there must be something that you're doing that helps someone open up. Because those questions are common questions that a lot of people, you know, suggest that you ask. You know, Jim Rohn, you know, would suggest that you ask yourself and to really dig deep and and so forth and so on. And yet at the same time, there's a lot of people out there, a lot of entrepreneurs that haven't heeded the call and haven't— and/or haven't done the work. So is there something that you're bringing to the table in the way— in your own practice that really is helping them to successfully walk through your process and to, you know, kind of achieve that success that they want?

Well, so one of the first things that I do, and it usually takes 1 to 4 weeks along with some of the other stuff, one of the first things that I do with clients is help dig in. I, I really get into the psychology of it and try to find out who it is they really want to be, like we talked about. And a lot of people, they, they struggle to be sappy or cheesy. You know, I get people up to dance. I'll take a client out to sing karaoke one night even though they think they sound horrible. Guess what? It's, it's They feel like singing, I'm gonna get you up there and sing. I don't care how scared you are, you're getting up there. It's helping them find who they really wanna be because most people take their business and who they wanna be and they try to mix them together. Or I'm sorry, they try to keep them separate when they really should be mixed together.

Right, right.

You know, they say, okay, well, I like to be fun and dance and everything over here, but that's not where I want my business to be. Well, why not? Maybe dance in some of your videos that you do for your business or, you know, dance in front of a client or, Crack jokes, whatever, whatever it is that makes you happy, that's who you want people to see. And so that's where a lot of business coaches and success coaches like you're talking about, they necessarily don't necessarily go there, right? They talk about who your, who your target market's going to be, who are you going to market to, what's your product, who's your product most served. They don't talk much about who they want, who you should be, or who you need to be. And so that's, I guess that's kind of it, but I'm roundabout way, it's helping people find themselves.

Yeah, no, I love that because you're so right. Because I can tell you, for many, for decades actually, I kept the two very separate. Who I was outside of work was very different than who I wanted to be the minute I walked in that door, even in my own practice 12 years ago. And so, yes, I mean, it's absolutely critical that, you know, we're not seen as robots, that we have to recognize that our home life affects what we're doing at work and vice versa.

Right.

And I never thought— I love pickleball. I never thought I should do something with pickleball in my— I'm kidding.

Why not?

Why not?

Right?

Why not? Maybe the next time, next show you have, you bring on a pickleball champion and play them on the air.

I could do that. I think that's awesome. Now see, his secret sauce is appearing, people. And that's what brings it out in you, is appearing. Um, and so is this also leading into, um, what it really means? Uh, because you talk about, um, that people need to find the real them, like the real you. Is that kind of leading that way, to kind of just let your hair down and be who you are, you know, at work as much as you are in your social life? Because people want you. They don't want some artificial mask, right?

And that's— and that's what— that's what the Bish Malti movement and, and my coaching is all about. It's about, like you said, letting your hair down. And it doesn't matter if you have your own business or you're still working for somebody else. There, I assure you, having been a manager for 20 years in the aerospace world, that I would much rather have you show up as who you are than who you think I want you to be, you know, because then I get to know you as a person and I can help guide you the right way. And that's really what it is. It's being who you are. Let your hair down. And, and if you want to be goofy and sappy, be goofy and sappy. Don't, don't hold it back because you're worried about what other people are gonna think.

Yeah, yeah, it is a beautiful— I had mentioned that I kind of have worked my way to the point where I really don't care what anybody thinks, and I don't.

The name of your show kind of says that a little bit.

But so I definitely think for anyone listening and watching this, I mean, if you really do feel that kind of tug of war between, you know, who you are showing up as and yet who you truly are, you definitely need to reach out to Tony. His website's right there because it's true. You have to be real. You have to be real. Now, what would you say, um, have been your biggest, you know, challenges or struggles in this same space that you're actually coaching on? Um, and then, and, you know, did that feed into the practices and the processes and the disciplines that you're now using in your own practice?

Yeah, so I was the same way. I was a, I was the worst kind of people pleaser. I was the yes man. I was always telling everybody what they wanted to hear— bosses, family, friends, whatever. I was the poster child for what I'm teaching now, or for who I'm helping now. And, and it was brutal. It wasn't until we moved here to Florida— so I did this on the side while working a corporate job and then moved to Florida for a job. A job moved my family and I here to Florida. And it was within the first 3 months of being at that employer where I was like, I What in the world did I get myself into? This is— I— this is— where is— I thought I could never be myself again. So I, I even though I was a people pleaser back in Seattle, I got here and it was even worse. It was like, oh my goodness, now I can't even— I can't even be who I thought I was before. Um, and so, uh, because I had started doing some of my coaching, I've been a leader for so long, I found my own coach. I hired a coach. I was like, you know what, I need something to change. So I hired my own coach, and I've had this man— this man has been my coach ever since. Along with a couple others, and he dug in deep into my head and found out where my limiting beliefs and my fears and my anxieties were coming from. And it was almost like a light bulb. It took— don't get me wrong, took multiple conversations, but finally it just went, and I'm like, why do I give a rat's patoot what these people are thinking? It's like, what in the world was I doing for all these years and years? I mean, I had some conversations with people that were very probably not so pleasant on their side, but I needed to let them know, this is how you guys have really treated me over these years, and I don't care anymore, you know.

Right.

Yeah. And how would you describe, just to kind of really put the nail in it, how would you describe your emotions of what you were feeling when you started what I call shedding, when you started shedding all that care and you just didn't care anymore?

Well, and that's what, that's what actually led to the, the Be Schmaltzy movement and, and the Schmaltzy TAS and how I actually ran my practices. I the more and more I let go of some of these thoughts and limiting beliefs and people in my life that had caused those, the more and more happy I was, the more goofy I was, the more I let my inner schmaltz out. And so I was just enjoying life and having fun again. And I mean, not just the things that I would say were my hobbies that, you know, I love fishing, I love outdoors, I love sports, but it was more than that because those were always my escapes. They weren't I wasn't necessarily enjoying the rest of life, and now it's like I'm enjoying everything. And that's where I help get clients to. It's not just about enjoying what your hobbies are, the things that you do for enjoyment. It's enjoying everything that's happening around you, right?

And, um, what would you say was the reaction or response from those closest to you, but also those in your outer circle? How did they respond to the new Tony, the Smalti Tony.

So the people that I talked to, there's a couple in particular, and then because they'll probably listen to this later, I'll keep their names quiet. But there was a couple that actually had affected me for probably 30-plus years. And so those took— those two individuals took it real hard because they are oblivious to this is what the effect they had on me for all those years. And I told them flat out, I don't blame you. You don't think— you didn't do anything on purpose or intentionally. This is just the effect it had on me. Well, they They got pretty offended, and it was actually— it took some time for us to mend that relationship and get it back to a reasonable state. Now, the outer circle, there was a few of them were like, it's about effing time, Tony, where you been all these years? Come on, we've been waiting a long time for you to bust out of this thing. Come on.

Yeah, no, it's so true. It is absolutely so true. And yes, and there's, there's some, at least in my experience, that I just had to let go, that, you know, there was not— there was no repairing, right? And that's okay, right? Is that what you would tell your clients, is that's okay?

Absolutely, absolutely. If somebody's toxic in your life in any way, shape, or form, or negative, and, and you've tried and it doesn't work, it's best that you don't spend time with those people. It really is. And, and I, I don't necessarily tell them that flat out. I draw it out of them. Well, how's this person really make you feel? Well, they Make me feel like crap. Well then, why are you hanging out with this person? Well, because I've known him for so many years. Does that change the way they make you feel?

No.

How do you feel when you're not around them? Well, much better. So maybe have you thought about spending less time with them? And then it just— you lead them down the path. If you flat out say it, then you're the a-hole that's telling them what to do. Yeah, but, but so many times it's— that is a big part of it, you know. Somebody who's got a quote-unquote best friend, but there's always the Debbie Downer or the, you know, Uh, somebody who's always dragging you down with them, it's like, hey, you know what, maybe it's time for a new best friend, you know? No offense to them, you've known each other for many years, but you're trying to grow here, right?

And it could— and what's interesting is, have you found that sometimes it's other people that you have to let go, but at the same time it could be you that other people should be letting go because you're not in that space? Have you found that?

When I first started this, yes, there was— I looked back at— that was one thing I did. I evaluated a bunch of my relationships and there was people that were more positive than me in the life, and I'm like, wow, why did you hang on for so long? Fortunately, those are some of the ones that are probably the closest now because they were the positive people and they tried and tried and tried to bring that to me and bring me along to that. So they were the ones who I kept around afterwards. Fortunately, they hadn't given up on me, whereas they probably should have.

Well, yeah, but other people, they see that little hole, that opening and they just wait and just hope. Family members especially.

Yeah, I know, I know.

They just— you're 5 brothers.

Yep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, okay, so obviously, what percentage would you say of your practice is mindset versus the business strategy tactics? What if you were to put a number to it?

I would say it's probably about It's probably a good 50/50 split. So I've got a new program that's getting ready to launch at the end of November. That's a— it's a 12-week program that's going to be— that's primarily group coaching, bringing the group together. And it's going to be— it's going to be 2 weeks of mindset versus 2 weeks of marketing and business strategies.

So each month?

Yeah, so it's pretty much going to alternate. Every week is going to be one's mindset, one's business and marketing, one's mindset, one's business marketing. And they very much play into each other. So the week The mindset piece is going to play into the following week's business tasks and so on down the road. And this is one that I've taken several pieces of things that have worked for various clients and myself and then put them into one program. So this is a new program. It's going to be interesting to see how it works.

Yeah, awesome. And who is your ideal client?

And this is specific to entrepreneurs and mostly entrepreneurs that feel like they're stuck. Trying to get to the next level. Like, they're— like, they have a side gig and they have— they want it to be full-time, but they can't get it past a certain point. Or, or they've got it full-time, but they're, they're barely making ends meet and they really want to get to the next level. In fact, the name of the program is called Entrepreneur Hero. So it's about being the hero entrepreneur that you know you can be and that you visualize being for however long you have.

Right, right. That's awesome. Any particular industry, any particular size of company, any particular Specific?

I, I, nope, because I have, I've helped people in multi-million dollar companies down to people who are barely, like I said, barely making ends meet. It's, it's really this particular program I'm leaving wide open for that reason. I just want to see who has the biggest impact. This is more, it's not only helpful, but it's also very much data collection to see what worked for some, what didn't work for others. And because of that, the fee is actually less than I would normally charge because I'm just trying to get it out there and see, see who it helps and where I can finite it in the future.

Right, right. It's like a beta, but not— but it's not— it's a beta, but it's not because you've been doing it for 23 years after all, right? So it's not really. All right, so if you were to, um, if you were to be sitting across the table from someone, um, and we know what your first questions are, you know, as far as who are you, who do you want to be, What would you say is the next big chunk of a challenge that you, that you, uh, you know, that someone needs to work on to be small?

See, so you mentioned the first few questions, and the very next question that, that when somebody answers who they want to be and what they want, the very next question is, what do you think is keeping you from getting there? And so put that on them. You know, I can dig into their mind as much as I can, and I can have things to maybe bring up in the future. But in reality, you need to attack what they believe in their heart, because if they— if they're gonna say it, they believe it. And it's getting to those people's belief systems and helping migrate those belief systems into a more positive or motivated or driven manner, or sappy and cheesy manner. And so if somebody says, hey, what do you think is keeping you from getting there? Well, it's I really think I'm just scared to do what I need to do. Well, great, then let's, let's take a look at your fears and what we can do to overcome those fears. So it's really, it's, it's different for each individual, and, and it's fun. I've had some that, that think it's fear and it turns out to be something completely different, but you don't know that until you start asking and digging into what they're, what they're saying or what they're thinking.

And you mentioned asking a number of times. You mentioned even, you know, you ask them a lot of questions and let them lead themselves to the answer. And, you know, wouldn't you say— would you say, for those who may not be familiar with coaching, would you say that is the foundation of coaching, is for that expert, that coach, to just simply ask you all the questions so you can come up and empower yourselves with the, with the answers?

Yes, yes, for the most part, that is 100% correct. Uh, I— it is actually a pet peeve of mine when people call themselves a coach and they're really a teacher or an instructor. They'll come into a session and then they'll spend the whole time talking, teaching you something, and they're really not coaching. Uh, coaching is— there is a little bit of teaching involved, but it's more of a 90/10. 90% is asking the questions and 10% is giving instruction. Might, might be fuzzy on my percentages, but in reality, most people do really know what they need to do or how to get there. They just, they put blocks on their mind. And so by asking them the questions— don't get me wrong, a lot of coaching is observation and psychology and listening and silence and getting the information from the person so you can ask the right questions— but by asking them, you're putting the onus back on them, or instead of us. So if I, if I ask some very intimate or, or detailed questions about your personal life By asking you and you sharing what you're willing to share, then it's on you. It's not on me. You're not getting upset with me by asking questions. I'm not telling you you should do this. I'm asking you, hey, what do you think about this? Or have you thought about, you know, getting up and singing? Or have you thought about talking to those 10 people? You know, it's, it's helping draw it out of the person or the individual or the group even, right? Help them see for themselves.

Right, empowering them. You're empowering them. And I— that's why I love your— the name of your program, Entrepreneur Hero, because you're teaching them to be the hero in their own business and even life, right?

You're right.

No, and yeah, that's absolutely, uh, fabulous. Now, as I mentioned at the beginning of the— of this show, everyone, he has a, uh, a nice gift for those Shedding the Bitch viewers and listeners that I want him to share, um, and it's going to be available on TonySchmaltz.com, and I'll put the exact link for you. But could you share with us, um, some details about your Success Made Easy and the Small C Success System, uh, course that you're offering our viewers and listeners?

Absolutely. So the, the Success Made Easy is, is all about finding, like I talked about, about finding your personal success. And the happiness in your different areas of life. So this is, this is not about business or career. This is about you and your mindset, your vision, what you have, your vision for yourself, your why, why you're trying to accomplish what you're trying to accomplish, and various other mindset things. And that when you, when you master these mindset pieces, it makes success pretty easy. That's why it's Success Made Easy. And then the Schmaltzy Success System is, is really geared towards more so entrepreneurs, However, it does— there's, of the modules, there are a whole bunch that will help just anybody. But this is also about growing your career or your business. So you've got the mindset piece in Success Made Easy, and then the business side in the Schmaltzy Success System. And then of course, the Schmaltzy Success System, you get to be a part of a group, a community, where we all interact with each other and help answer questions, help people grow professionally and personally. Right, right.

Very cool. All right, everybody, check it out. TonySmolts.com/shedding. Perfect. And, uh, definitely, especially if it can give you in any way, uh, way, shape, or form just a little opening for you to start working on yourself, which will then complement your— what you're doing in your business. And then of course, reach out to Tony. He has a new program coming, he mentioned. So reach out to him to see how he might be able to help you, uh, create and accelerate the riches in your own life. And be small, see? Be small, see? All right, Toby, any last tips or advice for our viewers and listeners?

Yes. So all, all I really want to say is, is definitely get out of your comfort zone. Be who you want to be. Figure out who that is. When you wake up in the morning, what is it that you're happy to go do and what is it that you dread going to do? And lean more on that side that makes you happy. Keep that in the back of your mind and figure out how to get closer and closer to that with each passing day. And let your inner cheese out. If you feel like singing, sing. And I talk to my clients all the time, if you want to dance, just dance. If you want to sing, just sing. Turn on the radio as loud as you can in your car and sing going down the road. Who cares if somebody sees you singing? Just let it all fly. And, and be yourself. Learn how to be yourself. Figure out what that means, who you really want to be. Be that person. And of course, never forget to be schmaltzy.

Be schmaltzy. I absolutely love it. I absolutely love it. Tony Schmaltz, everyone. Go to tonyschmaltz.com to learn everything about Tony and to check out his various programs. But also go to tonyschmaltz.com/shedding to get one of his programs, which is Success Made Easy and the Small T Success System.

Yay!

Thank you so much, Tony, for being part of the program. This has been fabulous.

Absolutely. Thank you so much. It's been great. Thank you. I appreciate you having me on.

Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And for everyone else, woohoo! What about that? Do you feel small T? I do. And I'm willing to be cheesy and sappy. That's awesome. So check him out. And then of course, thank you very much for always being great partners in our Shedding the Bitch community. And I will look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Take care, everybody. Have a rich week.

Bye.

Thank you for taking part in Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your what your biggest takeaway was. Go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook or YouTube and leave a comment. You can also subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts and YouTube so you don't miss a single episode of the show. And with your input, we can help other powerhouse women just like you find the show and decide if it's right for them. Learn more about Bernadette at balloffirecoaching.com. See you next week.