Be Your Best Before, During and After a Job Interview

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/sheddingthebitch. Shedding the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you? I hope you're doing well. I hope you're cooled off, especially if you're in the States anywhere. I know I had been talking to you over the last several weeks how Atlanta's been unusually hot for early— late July, and now we finally cooled down into the 80s. But Deborah tells me, and she's out in California, that she's in the hundreds and 109, so Continued prayers, continued safety, continued hydration to everybody out there. Let's be sure wherever you are around the world, whatever climate that you're in, you're just taking good care of yourself as well as your family, children, pets, plants, all of it. And just enjoy the summer, enjoy your season, and just be sure to be taking care of yourself and being the best you, which is what we are talking about today. But we're taking a different slant to it, so it's not just like, you know, what I'll call woo-woo, be the best you. Oh, I didn't know that rhymed. It's really about how can you be the best you before, during, and after you secure a job. Before, during, and after you have a job, and yet maybe, you know, you're not showing up the way you need to, or you don't understand what it is that your employer is looking for in order for you to not only have that job but also to get new projects, new assignments, advancements, bonuses, raises, that kind of thing. Now, this came up as obviously a kind of a high-demand conversation to have. After I did a presentation, I was a keynote for PMI Atlanta, so it's the Project Management International of Atlanta, and I had a room full of people Thursday night that I was discussing being the best you during a job interview and then once you have a job. And afterwards, you know, you always have a few people come up to you if you've ever gone to a conference or maybe you are a speaker. There's always people, you know, that are interested to learn more that come up to you and have questions or whatever the case might be. Well, this room full of people, which I would say is— was about 50 or 60, there was a good amount of people. There was like close to 20 or 25 people, you know, not quite half the room, but enough to where I thought, wow, these people are really hungry for not only information, not only tips, but they're looking for support. They're looking to, to get somebody to kind of understand what they're going through and then maybe provide them some sort of guidance through it. So I thought, well, if that room full of people needed some more information regarding this, and, and they're stressed and frustrated and unsure and they're questioning themselves, pretty much raising up all the bitches when it comes to either looking for a new job, wanting a new opportunity, or being the best person they could be at work, I thought you all probably have the same types of frustrations and questions. Whether you are— because that room, just as probably all of you, that room was full of people looking for jobs, looking for opportunities, who have a job but looking for advancements, and even hiring managers. And there was also supposed to be recruiters there, and therefore since there wasn't, we even had more time. My hour presentation turned into about an hour and 45 minutes. So obviously, you know, there's a whole chain, supply chain of individuals that this conversation is really very relevant for. Again, whether you're looking for a job, have a job, you're a hiring manager, you're an employer, you're a recruiter, whatever the case might be. So that's what we're going to talk about today, but before we do kick into that and I give you your rich question for today's conversation, just as a reminder, all of our episodes— and we've had some great ones not only over the last several weeks, but quite honestly over the last several years that we've had this show and podcast— I want to remind you, you can always— if you don't listen to them live, you can always download them on Apple Podcasts, sheddingthebitch.com, or blogtalkradio.com. Look for Shedding the Bitch Radio and you'll find all the episodes. Over the last several weeks, we've had great conversations regarding betrayal and how betrayal sucks and how you can shed it once and for all. Then we also talked about shedding the mid-year bitch especially because the fact that it is July, 6 months is gone for the year, you have 6 months left. Be that person that looks at a glass half full as opposed to empty, and you have an opportunity to do it smart and hit that reset button to make a great second half of 2019. Then we had our Ask Bernadette episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month. And what this episode focuses on is you, as always. But they're your questions, your stories, your challenges you're going through that you post on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch page. You can go to sheddingthebitch.com, uh, you can email me at bernadetteboas@sheddingthebitch.com, or you can, as most of you do, reach out and, um ask me and engage with me on LinkedIn, send me a private message. And quite honestly, even since that presentation on Thursday, I've gotten a whole slew of communications from you to kind of just continue this discussion that we're going to have today about being the best you at work and when looking for a job. So, you can look for all of those episodes as well as others such as Fake It Till You Make It, and then a number of other ones. Again, Apple Podcasts, sheddingthebitch.com, or blogtalkradio.com. All right, so as today's conversation goes, this is your rich question all about being the best you, whether you're looking for a job or you have one. So what I want you to do is I want you to— oh, and for those of you, let me back up, I'm sorry. For those of you who are listening for the first time, shame on you. No, I'm only kidding. You have an opportunity to listen to all of them if you should choose to. But our rich question is— I'd like to ground you in the topic of conversation, get your head out of whatever it is that you're working on, and really be already thinking and kind of coaching and developing yourself as a result of the conversation that we're going to have today. So I pose a rich question that will ground you in our conversation, and then you can be thinking about that throughout our discussion, whether it is just with me as it is today, or if I have a guest on the program. And you could be already addressing that question or that challenge that you're having throughout the conversation, and if it's not addressed, then you can always reach out to me again at Bernadette Boas at sheddingthebits.com. All right, so that's our rich question, and here's yours for today. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your level of being the best you at work, or if you are looking for a job, or if you just want to think about it as far as life is concerned? How are you showing up? How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Now, what I want you to be thinking about is if you are below a 7— so I'm not even going to an average of 5— if you answered that you're just somewhat showing up to a degree of the 7, I really want you to pay attention to today's conversation. We spend too much time, you spend too much time at work to not be bringing your best you. And that's not just to serve and benefit the company and the organization. It's truly first and foremost to ensure that you are living your best life and being the best you, because it's costing you as well as it is costing the company. But we'll get into all that. All right, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your level of being the best you at work, during your job search, or just overall in life. To tweet and Facebook with us, communicate with us, you can use #BestYou or #ShedTheBitch. So when we get back, we're going to get into this conversation. I'm going to share with you a lot of what this 2-hour conversation had, but we'll pull it down, and I'm going to share with you the tips and the advice and the strategies that I shared with that group of people, and hope that it'll move you from whatever you rate yourself on that scale, 1 to 10, up to a 10. All right, we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, insecurity and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at MediaRelations@va.gov. @sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are I'm talking about being the best you during a job interview or throughout the job interview, I should say, in your work or in your life. Now, nowadays, the media— everyone's talking about how great the job market is or how great unemployment market is, touting, you know, the unemployment figures being at 3.7%. And they are. But what they fail to look at, what they fail to discuss of that 3.7% or the outside of that 3.7% is how happy or satisfied people are at— are in their jobs. How happy or satisfied that they are.

And—

or even when you're searching for a job, how satisfied or happy are you about that— not only about that pursuit. We all know how frustrating looking for a job could be, but more so how optimistic, how faithful are you in that you're going to find the job not only that will pay well, that will have great benefits, but that you really want to do and that you'll look forward to getting up every morning and doing. And that lack of happiness, that lack of satisfaction, that lack of security people are feeling really cost a lot of money to companies, and not only in profits, not only in the bottom line, but throughout it. It costs a lot of people if you don't think about it, because as a job— you know, someone looking for a job, you're all in your head about just finding that job. And we'll talk about, you know, if you're desperate, just how that's a whole other game changer. But we have to think about not only ourselves as job seekers or even employees, but really to be the best you, you really need to put your— put the shoes— put your feet, rather, in the shoes of your employer or your hiring manager or that recruiter or that overall company. That it is that you're working for or you want to work for. Because it is very costly to hire, to then onboard, to develop you, to support you, to mentor and coach you, to keep you hired, to keep you engaged, to keep you onboard. And then it's even very costly to let you go. So both the employee and the employer from the very start really needs to think about how can they be and present themselves and show up as their best you in order to kind of minimize all of that work, that effort, that cost. So a recent report, it was roughly around June of this year, there was a SurveyMonkey done regarding workplace happiness, and it was done by CNBC. And what they found was a third of US workers seriously considered quitting their job in the last 3 months. And it's because they are underpaid, undervalued, and they lack the opportunity for professional growth and promotion. So forget about even the underpaid. Not being valued, not feeling as if, you know, someone else considers you to be making contributions. And then you not feeling as if you have opportunities to be challenged, to learn new skills, to have the tools and the resources that are needed to do your job effectively. How frustrating that can be for somebody. We as humans are not looking to just be status quo. Many of us are comfortable there, but we're looking to take on new challenges, new risks, new jobs, new promotions, so forth and so on. So we have to figure out— you have to figure out that, one, you're responsible for that. You're responsible for your happiness and your satisfaction. It isn't only on the employer. It isn't only on that company to give you what you need to do your job effectively because you have the choice. You have the option to say, you know, I'm happy or I'm dissatisfied, and you can use that scale, on a scale of 1 to 10. Based on that, I'll stay or I'll go, and if I stay, well, this is what needs to change. Whether that's within you, because your attitude and your approach and the steps you take within your job are critical, as much as it then is what you need to ask of the company in order for you to be satisfied and the company stepping up and providing you what it's going to take in order for you to do your job effectively. And then it's also, like I said, on the company. But you're responsible and accountable as much as the company is. But also keep in mind something: the company doesn't know unless you tell them. So this conversation Thursday night with this packed room full of people, there was one or two people that came up to me, and after they, you know, kind of expressed their distress with their, with their job, with their boss, with the company, I asked them, I said, so have you discussed this with you know, your boss or your HR department. And they did with their boss, but of course sometimes it falls on deaf ears. I said, so have you gone to HR? And, you know, dead silent. So what we need to talk about today is, and what I really need you to be thinking about and then putting yourself in a particular mindset, is the fact that it is up to you to find that happiness and satisfaction. It is up to you to make those decisions, easy or hard, about whether— based on whether you're happy and satisfied, if you stay or if you go. If you ask, you know, harder questions to learn more about the real reality of a job, of a manager, of a company. And we're going to get through all that. So there's a lot you could be doing about it, and what we're going to do is we're going to break this down into kind of sections of someone's career. So we're going to start with what you need to do going into an interview in order to really ensure you're getting what you want, what you need to do in the interview, and what you need not to do in the interview. And then what you need to do as a follow-up to that interview, but also more importantly, once you have a job. And so this really does cover your career span, or even if you work within your own business, this is going to be very relevant to you because they— all those same things apply whether you're that CEO of your own business, whether you're hiring someone, you want to keep all these things in mind because as I said, This pertains to the employee, but it also pertains to the hiring manager, the manager, the company, the HR department of that company will all benefit from really ensuring that not only are you showing up and being your best you, but then you need to understand what they're looking for and hold them to the expectations that they want of you, you need to then hold it back to them. Okay, so we're going to start with the interview prep. Now again, if you have any questions in regards to this, please feel free to reach out to me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. If you want any of these materials, because as I acknowledge, I'm leveraging this conversation based on the demand of support that obviously came out of it Thursday night. And therefore, there are materials and even a checklist that I provided to that room full of people. And should you want it and have the materials, then reach out to me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. And then before the end of the week, I will also get it posted onto sheddingthebitch.com as a blog post. All right, a lot of different ways where you'll get the information and the knowledge and the support you need. In order to be the best you. So my dad, and as many of you know who's listened to the program for a while, I'm one of 12 kids. My dad was a Depression child, meaning that he was, you know, born and raised during the Depression. He was part of World War II. He, you know, was a much older father, and he was a single child, and So he knew what work was. He knew what hard work was. He knew what getting your hands dirty and all those other analogies people use. At the same time, he applied that and he kind of passed that on to his 12 children in order to make our family unit— what we all kind of, at least I did, I looked at our family as if it was a corporation because that's how we kind of ran it. We had jobs to do, we had functions, we had roles to follow, and he expected us to show up and be the best individuals that we could be. But one of his greatest lessons that I've kind of carried on from school through college through my career is the fact that you leave people and places better than you found them. You leave people and places better than you found them. And for any of you that listen to the program, you know I've touted this before, but it really applies to this subject because if you really want to find happiness and satisfaction and gratitude and value and contribution and then go home at night and really kind of lay your head down, maybe absolutely exhausted, but you still feel not worthy, you feel grateful and that you were able to give so well to your work, then you want to have this mindset, you want to carry this mindset that your role is to leave the people in places that you're working within, better than you found them. That your job isn't just to show up and do whatever function or role you have. It is really to create an environment and to create a collaboration and to create a team, even if you're an individual contributor, where they will be left better than when you found them. So I just want you to kind of keep that in mind as we talk, because that's what this subject is all about, how to be the best you. So, from an interview prepping perspective, for those of you that are looking for jobs, considering looking for a job, or looking for new opportunities, regardless if you're looking for an opportunity in your same company, so you're not necessarily looking for a job, this all pertains to you, all right? So, first off is you really need to know you, who you are, what are your skills and qualifications. And this is what we talk a lot about here at Shedding the Bitch, because Shedding the Bitch is all about really discovering who you are, confronting that— the good, the bad, the ugly— and shedding what you don't like and keeping what you do, and honoring those riches that you possess so you can create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. But you, in order to do that, you really need to focus on that discovery. You need to focus on really knowing your skills and qualifications. When it comes to job search, then, knowing what you're really good at and what your qualifications are will then help you understand what type of job you're not only looking for, but you want that will make you really happy, that will give you that satisfaction and that happiness that you're looking for. So you really need to understand that first. Now, why I stress this so much is because for one big reason. I would say 8 out of 10 people that I coach or a room full of people that I talk with or a team that I'm training, 8 out of 10 of them will tell me, will look at me like, "What do you mean, you know, that I don't know what I'm really good at or what I'm qualified to do or what my skills are?". And so I'll start talking to them about what their experiences are, what they consider their expertise and their background. And they'll leave out a good 40% of what their experience at work or at home, at school or in a corporation, actually are. So let me kind of give a very simplistic and quick example.— and let's just use a janitor. A janitor is just not someone who sweeps the floor, picks up, you know, takes out the trash, that kind of thing. A janitor's, you know, skill and qualification is that they are devoted to really representing and making sure— showcasing the brand of the company. They are really good probably with time management and organization. Being organized is what I'm trying to say there. Simply because they typically have very off hours. They typically have hours that have to be— their job has to be done by a certain hour in order for employees to come in, whether it's a restaurant or a corporate business, whatever the type of business that it is. And so very simply, simplistically, if I were to talk to that janitor, I can guarantee you he would not, he or she would not tell me that. A custodian would not explain to me that he's good with, he or she is good with kind of staying in the background while at the same time engaging when they do have opportunities to come in contact with either employees or clients. Now why is that important? Well, that's important because the client The company wants every individual, every employee to represent that company. So they can't have someone that is not engaging, that's not friendly, that's not supportive or considerate. So, but I can guarantee you he or she would not express those things to me when I asked them what their skills and qualifications are. So really understand your skills and qualifications. Rip them apart based on the jobs that you've had in the past, the functions that you've had, the roles that you've had. Don't take them for granted. Now, if you are looking for a job or an opportunity and there's some form of description— and in the case of a job, it's a job description that's posted out there— well, really understand it. Don't just assume they're looking for, in this case, they're looking for, you know, a custodian. But let me change it up a little bit based on the conversation Thursday. It was about project management. Don't just assume what it is that they're looking for because project management or a custodian, you know, generally do X, Y, and Z. You really want to ensure that you're looking at that job description solely in the view of the company and how they view project managers. I can't tell you how I can go to a handful of different companies in one week, and they all have different job descriptions for the same role. So, you really need to understand and make sure that you're reading the job description and breaking it down and then applying your skills and qualifications to it. You want to then match your skills. You want to research that company. So, in your prep of a job interview, you really want to research the company, the hiring manager, and the leadership. You want to rip it apart, whether that's on their website, in their 10-K, any, you know, public domain type of information, news briefings, disclosures, whatever the case might be. So during your prep, you want to ensure that you're doing everything that you need to do to arm yourself to be the best you for that company, for that job, making the hiring manager's job really easy when you show up for that interview. You want to also reach out to your LinkedIn connections. I can't tell you how many people just overlook that. You know, if you're looking to, you know, to work at Joe's Sandwich Shop, go and research to see if you know people there or if you have people who know people that work there. And then reach out to them and even use them for research. Ask them how do they like the company, how do they like the job, how's the pay, what's the culture like, so forth and so on. And then lastly, really important, I want you to be considering the fact that you need to sit down put yourself in the shoes of the interviewer. So that could be the hiring manager, that could be an HR person, that could be a panel of individuals from across the business depending upon what type of job you're going for. And you need to kind of write out a mock-up interview. What are the questions you think are going to be asked? What are the challenges that you think that they're going to present to you? What objections are they going to have on your resume? So, for instance, a gentleman came up to me Thursday night very frustrated. He had— he had applied for this job based on the job description that was posted, went into an interview, took his time to research and do all that, went into the job interview, and then the the interviewer kind of bashed him for not having a particular project management technical skill. And he simply said, "No, I don't. You know, I'm learning it. I'm gaining experience in it. But no, and that's why I did not put it on the resume." Well, he walked out of there very frustrated because he's like, "Why didn't they just see that it wasn't listed on the resume that I didn't have that experience? Why put me through all this?" and then bash me for not having it. So you really need to think through what are all those things that could come up in your interview. Then the key reason for doing this, the key, key, key reason for doing this is, one, it will help prepare you even more so, but it will help you pre-plan stories, scenarios, experiences, expertise, contributions you've made, results that you've had. For your interview in your discussion. Because your discussion is not, which is the biggest mistake many of you make, the discussion whether you're looking for a job or a new opportunity in work. You know, they're not looking for you to spew all your skills and your talents and your qualifications, your technical skills, your certifications you have. They don't care about— they care about that, but that's not what they're going to hire you on or promote you on or give you a new assignment on. They want to hear how have you contributed to your job, to your team, to your clients, to, you know, your company as a whole. What were the results that you had? Give me examples in a story of, you know, what you really succeeded at and what you failed at. Or what you misstepped in. They want you to kind of paint them a picture, a story, not just a list of bullet points, so to speak. So doing all of that will, you know, help you tremendously to be the best you as you go into the interview. And then some of the— what you don't want to do is you definitely don't want to go in empty-handed. You don't want to ignore red flags as you're even doing research. So I had someone, another person come up to me and they had said that during the preplanning, the research, she made a couple phone calls into the company to the HR department to ask a couple questions. And the HR person was very hesitant to answer that, you know, that one or two questions. Without any really good reason why. And so I said to her, I said, so what did you do? And she said, well, I just continued and just ignored the fact that I wouldn't have that information. And I said, well, did anything come up within you, like in your gut, intuition, red flag? And she said, oh yeah. I said, then what, what made you continue, you kind of continuing down that path? Because if you're feeling those red flags physically, mentally, emotionally, you need to pay attention to them and then move on.

All right.

Let's see. So that would be kind of what you need to be thinking about and doing before you either go for a job interview or even if you're going and looking for a new opportunity or you want to present an idea to your team or to your manager or your leadership team. About, you know, a new job that you want to take on or a new project you want to start, it's the same thing. All those things apply. You need to do your research. You need to put together a kind of a business case with stories and experiences and results, and then you need to be able to then go present them and/or have the interview, and we'll talk about all of that when we get back. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and SheddingTheBitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@ deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking being the best you before, during, and after a job, or while you're at work, or looking for a new opportunity. And I asked you at the beginning of the discussion to, to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 How do you show up? How do you show up for that interview? How do you show up in your work? How do you show up when you go present and request a new opportunity? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best. And I challenge you that if you rate it yourself 7 or below, you really need to be paying attention to this. Because again, you showing up in the world as your best you just makes your life so much happier, so much more satisfied, and so much more prosperous in ways that you can quantify and ways that you'll just qualify, but that will still bring you that contentment and that happiness and those riches that you're looking for in your life. And while at the same time you are making your boss's job, your company's job so much easier and so much better that it then just trickles down and reflects all across at least your experience within your work environment. So we first talked about what you could be doing to be the best you in prepping for a job interview or requesting a new project. Now, how do all those things that we talked about— research, coming up with stories, How does that make you the best you going into the interview? Well, you are going to stand out from the 9 out of 10, I will say. Let's give some credence here. Let's say it's even 8 out of 10. But trust me, I interview a lot of people, whether that's mock interviewing or whether that is, you know, being asked to kind of interview or engage with this individual.— and I consider those meetups, meet-and-greets, interviews as well. And all I can tell you is they don't show up prepared. They don't show up ready to kind of engage, make eye contact, ask a lot of questions, take notes, whatever the case might be. So your prep in preparing for a job interview you know, that you're doing prior to a job interview, prior to asking for a new opportunity, is going to set you apart. Plus, you're making your own job through that interview and the hiring manager's job so much easier because now you have so much ammunition and so much knowledge to then collaborate, share, and discuss. And again, that will separate you. So for the interview, what you definitely want to focus on is being early for that interview, sitting in a waiting room or sitting out in your car, which is what I do a lot of time. I'll sit outside of my car. I'll be there a half hour early, sit in my car, and then go inside like about 5 minutes early and even check in, you know, if it's checking in with a secretary or an admin or the front desk. And wait. I prefer to be waiting than to leave someone else waiting. So be early. Build rapport in any type of engagement, even at your job, with your team, with your manager, with whomever. You always want to be the best you by engaging and building rapport. We are not robots. So not to be inquisitive about Sally's weekend. Or about her kids, even to the smallest degree of conversation, is going to make your world so much happier and more satisfied. And it's going to give you more than you actually think. I used to be a robot. I could have cared less about your family, your friends, your kids, your dog, your vacations, your anything. I just wanted you to show up and do the job. And I learned after decades, but it will only within the last, you know, 10, 11 years, I learned how much richer my work experience would have been had I at least tried to connect with people. So then you're going to use those stories and those experiences and those examples and those results that you painted in your research, and that's going to create such an engaging conversation that will shower whoever it is that you're talking with, with great imageries, with great information and nuggets about you that definitely will separate you from everyone else. You're going to, in this interaction, you're going to make eye contact, you're going to mirror. If you're not comfortable, you know, maybe when you walked in, that individual kind of intimidate you or just didn't give you the best engaging welcoming vibe, you know, then even mirror them. This happens quite often actually because hiring managers especially in HR, you know, if they are egos like mine, my old ego, I loved making, you know, people kind of shaking their boots. It was a power game for me. So recognize that if they throw that at you, it's just revealing the bitches of insecurity that they have. And I'm not, you know, I'm not afraid to admit that of myself now. So mirror them. What, what they're going to want is the fact that you're not kind of— if they're with their arms crossed and their legs crossed and you're, you know, kind of feeling intimidated by By that, then I would contradict it by being very relaxed and whatnot, or I would just sit there with your arms crossed, and they're going to see the fact that you're sitting with your arms crossed, and they're going to shake it out, not necessarily physically, but they'll shake it out, change, and then you can change as well. Now, you want to be asking a lot of questions, and this is the biggest thing about being the best you. And it's the one biggest thing that the— especially in a job interview and asking for a promotion or a new project— the individual doesn't consider is you are there to interview them. You are there to bring them value, bring them contribution, bring them expertise, bring them experience. And therefore, you shouldn't feel insecure or intimidated or doubtful that you're there to serve them. They are— should actually be working to serve you as well. So in order to do that, you need to ask them a lot of questions as much as they're going to ask you. And you would have done that in your pre-plan and research. Is you're going to ask them a lot of questions about the company, about the culture, about the hiring manager, about the team, about the actual job itself. Too many times you're not asking enough questions because then you take the job and maybe it's out of desperation, you need the paycheck, and you're miserable because what they said was your job is not your job. This definitely falls into play when you read descriptions online like business development, even business consultants, that job title should scream sales to somebody. Marketing screams sales. So people will interview to the degree of falling short of asking, is this a sales job? Do I have a quota? Is there expectations that are going to be made of me that I need to to sell, and yet that's not what you want to be doing. So you want to ask a lot of questions and hold them to the fire as much as they're going to hold you to the fire that you can do the job. All right? Now, you know, some fails or some missteps people take is they don't come prepared. They don't even have a notebook and a pen. And do not— and this came up in my presentation Thursday night. Do not use your phone to take notes. Now, this gentleman who probably was in his late 30s, early 40s, said to me, "But I like taking notes on my phone." I said, "Well, if you're interviewing with a 25-year-old, a 30-year-old, a millennial, then go for it. Use your phone. But if you're interviewing with anybody else, then using your phone makes me think on the other side of the table that you're texting or you're looking at YouTube or you're distracted in some way, shape, or form." But, you know, and because people, even if you have a journal and a pen and people are like, well, how is that different than me writing? Well, there tends to be an easier transition in listening between writing and having a conversation than typing and having a conversation. Because those keyboards are so small that oftentimes the individual is distracted just making sure they spell correctly. Anyway, don't want to spend too much time there. So, the other thing, some don'ts for you is don't be elusive. You know, be very transparent. Make sure if there are things you want to know, you need to know in order to make a decision, then ask them. Don't be afraid of it. Don't back away from it. Ask the hard questions. If you want to know if your hiring manager is a micromanager and yet people are saying they're not but they really are, Ask it. If you want to know if whether or not, you know, how the company favors gender or religion or whatever, ask it. Make sure that you understand what it is you're getting into. Again, we all spend too much time at work not to ask the tough questions. And, again, this is ensuring that you're going to be the best you. Because, again, if you ask all these questions and you ensure that you've done the research and that you've put the things in place to be the best you, why you're going to be the best you is you're going to find that job. You're going to become particular and picky about finding the company and the hiring manager and the role that really is going to fit well in your wheelhouse. So doing all of this is going to lend itself to being the best you in preplanning, in the interview, and then raising your success rate of getting that job and then being a really great employee. That— which brings me to once you show up and you have the job, your job is not done. It's just beginning. Your job of being the best you is just beginning. If you really want to stand out, if you really want those opportunities, you don't want to be bored, you don't want to be undervalued, you don't want to be underpaid, you don't want to be unhappy, then what you want to do is, as my dad would say, focus every day on leaving people and places better than when you found them. Be the best you. Show up big. You know, focus on getting results, not only for yourself. I have one client, and one of the challenges that her leadership team had is, you know, she's really great with clients and getting the deal. Because she's great with clients because she knows that if she gets the deal, she gets not only her compensation but her commissions and her bonuses. And yet, that doesn't necessarily translate over to how she treats people internally who don't write her a bonus check or a commission check. So you need to be focused on making sure that everyone is getting results, not only you, but everyone around you, your teammates, your boss, your clients, your support services groups, and your company as a whole. Another thing to really kind of show up big is seek out those mentors and those coaches, whether it's professional or it's internal, whether it's, you know, someone you know in your network or it's someone that you choose to hire. And if you— and why this will kind of make you be the best you is even if your company doesn't offer coaching or mentors internally or externally. Well, there's nothing to say you can't go at, you know, out on your own and do it yourself. And many times, many times, I actually had 2 or 3 over the last 8 years, one currently, that comes to me on their own. They're coming to me from a work perspective, but their company doesn't offer it, so they're coming to me directly. Well, then I said to them, well, have you ever thought of asking if they actually would provide you some mentoring or coaching, you know, from a professional standpoint outside the, you know, from an external source? I said, you might find that you, that they will and you don't have to, you know, pay out of pocket anymore. And so they did and they said, yes, we do. And, you know, that's that. Having a mentor or coach, a sounding board, someone in your corner to help you navigate whether things are going great or things are challenging is also a way to set yourself apart, not only today but going forward. And then, of course, I always say uplevel yourselves. Always look to improve. Always look to learn something new, learn something different, learn something out of your wheelhouse. I was very impressed the other night when several of the individuals that came up to me to talk to me, they had mentioned that they are taking certification type of trainings outside the workplace. They recognize that in order to move up or in order to kind of just be— have that cutting edge, over other people, not to— well, to compete with them, but not in a negative way. They needed to learn some other skills, some other tools and technologies that are out there, and their company doesn't provide it, and/or it's not in their career path, so to speak, today. So they're going out on their own and doing that, and that's a brilliant thing. So then someone says to me, well, how do I— it's one thing to get the certification, how do I actually then apply it if I can't, you know, get that type of work in the workplace? And I said to them, I said, well, you know, I've even walked through clients, I've walked them through scenarios, I gave them mock projects that would then utilize whatever it is that they're learning. I've done this for people that were taking and getting their MBA, that wanted to learn the Microsoft Office suite of tools, that have wanted to apply their project management skills for their PMP. I mean, there's even coaches, fellow coaches. There's a tremendous number of ways that you could be getting training and working to then apply that so you can show that you now have kind of experience you know, outside the workplace. You can even go in your workplace and say, hey, can I just be a volunteer, you know, during some hours of the week over in another department so I can learn X, Y, and Z. A lot of different ways. So all of this means that you are kind of focused on bringing your best to each and every day. And I would say the last and probably the biggest thing is all of this is really teaching you about you. Yes, you're learning about the company too, or the company you're hiring— or I'm sorry, you're interviewing with, or you're already working with, or the business that you work in or own today. But it's also just another way, because we talk a lot here about always wanting to dig in and learn about you, because the more you're aware of who you are, the more you'll be able to influence whatever it is you want or don't want out of life, in all aspects of life. So if you really look at everything that we've talked about, all this, you know, questioning, all this learning of your qualifications, the checklist, the research you're doing, and then the scenarios you're building, and the stories that you're you're coming up with to share and collaborate, engage with, it's all feeding more knowledge, more self-awareness of who you are, which will only lend itself to being the best you. All right. So that is our conversation for today. And it— like I said, if you are interested in any of the materials that I provided out, which included a presentation deck and a checklist that kind of talked or lays out all of these things so you have it for yourself or your team when it comes to what you should be doing before, during, and after, whether it's an interview or looking for an opportunity. Feel free to reach out to me at BernadetteBoas@SheddingTheBitch.com or even on our Facebook and Twitter pages and say, Bernadette, I want that checklist. All right, Bernadette, I want that checklist. So for everybody here in the Shedding the Bitch community, thank you so much. I will look forward to hearing from you regarding what we talked about today, and I'm hoping that however you rate yourself on that scale of 1 to 10, you're finding ways now to kind of inch your way up toward that 10. And then of course there's maintaining that 10 and going beyond that, and we can certainly have that conversation another day. So, for everybody here at Shedding the Bitch community, thank you so much. I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Thanks everybody, have a great, rich week. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.