Being Completely Grateful for 2020!

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you on this beautiful, beautiful Tuesday before we get to chow down? Chow Down Without Forgiveness. I hope you're having a fabulous, fabulous day. I am, despite the fact it's a bit chilly here in Atlanta, Georgia, but you know, it is November, almost December. So I hope you're having a beautiful, beautiful day full of gratitude and thankfulness, which is what we're going to be talking about today. Before we jump into that, I just want to thank all of our new followers, our new viewers on our YouTube channel. And our viewers, listeners on BlogTalkRadio, or right here on our Shitting the Bitch Facebook page where we are streaming live. So if you want to chat, if you want to post a question, if you want to share what you're grateful and thankful for as we get into this conversation, I would love to hear from you. But thank you to all the new viewers and listeners who have found our program across any number of the streaming services or on our YouTube Shitting the Bitch channel. We are grateful that you are here, and thank you. And I, I emphasize that because that's what we're going to really try to also, um, better understand, the difference between gratitude and thankfulness. But I also want to thank our ongoing viewers and listeners. Without you, we wouldn't be here, right? And you have also provided us comments and feedback and questions and topic suggestions. You've also shared and liked and subscribed and rated, um, out there and, um, really ensured that we could get more eyes and ears in onto the Shedding the Bitch podcast program, our Shedding the Bitch training sessions, and everything that we do within Shift to Riches and Shedding the Bitch. And I'm so grateful, and I want to thank you for that. Um, I also want to, uh, thank and, um, stress— that's not the word I was looking for— uh, that today's episode is brought to you by North Georgia Tax Solutions. They are a full-service, uh, financial and tax services company that services all of America, not just North Georgia. And, um, I want to thank Debbie Snelling and her entire team, not only for taking care of myself, for taking care of, uh, so many others from small businesses to corporate. And if you want to learn more about them, please go to ngtechsolutions.com and tell her I said hello. All right, but today we are talking about gratitude and thankfulness, and what an appropriate subject, wouldn't you say, as we go into this week of Thanksgiving? And yet at the same time, we should be grateful and thankful each and every day throughout the year. But some of us, like churchgoers and some other folks, you know, we tend to really heavily focus on it as we get into the holiday season when we have an opportunity before it all breaks loose with some craziness. We all have an opportunity to just really sit, think, consider what we are grateful and thankful for. And yet 2020 pretty much has given us that, that time to do that, hasn't it? And, uh, and if you, again, if you have any comments or experiences or, uh, situations, or you have someone or something you want to, uh, share and thank or share your gratitude for, we'd love for you to have to post it right here in our Shedding the Bitch, uh, Facebook page or you can even call in because I'm live. You can call in at 1-818-572-2910. I'm running solo today, so I'll be keeping an eye on both, um, and all chat rooms and our studio, um, our studio line. So should anybody want to reach out, um, but at first I thought we could get into some basics about what gratitude and thankfulness is. More importantly, what the difference is because the two are different. They have a lot of commonalities, but they are also very different. So if you think about thankfulness, thanking someone, it's almost a social norm. Someone opens the door for you, you thank them. Someone helps you if you should drop all your groceries, you thank them. If someone does a great job, you know, in your business or at the— at work, you thank them for it. So thankfulness is kind of centered around social norms and typically looked at as an action that is then, you know, following an occurrence or a situation or an event, no matter how small or how large. And oftentimes thankfulness is looked at as something from within, you know, that you actually feel it within that you want to thank this person, and then, or, or, you know, be thankful for an outcome of something. But it's, you know, typically something that happens from within, while gratitude is more about an occurrence or a series of occurrences, and it's kind of the foundation of it is coming from a place of spirituality, maybe from love and affection. And they often look at it, and I'm gonna make sure that I, you know, I express this accurately. It's also more of a feeling. Thankfulness can be a feeling as well, but it's typically an action of that feeling. So you're thankful, that's the action, so therefore you thank someone as a result of the expression of the feeling that you're having as a result of something someone did for you or something that might have happened to you, you know, so forth and so on. And oftentimes when you think of that, thankfulness is coming from within, and it— and yet it's an outward action, but it's something that comes from within. And gratitude is something that is a result result of something or someone. Let me give you a real simple example. So many of you who follow the program, remember those ongoing regular listeners and viewers, last summer, this past summer, I was without electricity for about 8 days, and therefore in the heat of Atlanta, I was certainly thankful that my neighbor Colin was able to help me out by simply providing me a power cord. He provided me a long power cord that was hooked up to his outside outlet, and that way I could at least get a light and a fan brought into my, into my house. And so I was grateful. So I'm going to read kind of how the, the expressions of the difference between gratitude and thankfulness. So I was grateful for his help, right? I was grateful for his help. So I could actually express to him verbally, "I am grateful for your help, Colin," which I did. Again, it's an expression of how you felt as a result of an experience or a situation that occurred to you. All right, now thankful. The difference with thankful is I am thankful Colin helped me. So gratitude is outward, right? Gratitude is outward. I am grateful for your help, Colin. Whereas thankfulness is within. I am thankful that Colin was there to help. All right, now everyone, you know, not everyone, a good majority of us use those interchangeably. I think it's important to understand the difference between the two. Because then as you are giving thanks and as you are acknowledging and appreciating what you're grateful for, it just adds a really nice— and I'll use some Thanksgiving, you know, terms— but spicy, you know, aromatic. But it just, it adds a level of expression to what is going on in your, in your world and what is being brought to you, um, as a result. Okay. And at the same time, as many of you practice gratitude on a regular day-in, day-out basis— and I, I don't say that lightly because I, I'll be honest with you, for 40-some-odd years I wasn't conscious I wasn't aware of, you know, that gratitude is actually a practice and a discipline that, you know, you, that if you should build into your life on a day-in, day-out basis, it just opens up your heart so much more by really practicing gratitude. And we'll get into that in just a minute. So as I mentioned, you know, you can simply act on being thankful. Someone opens the door, someone helps you pick up the groceries. Maybe you give them a high five. I talk about my pickleball. You give a high five to your playing partner for winning a match, you know, and that's a sign of thanking them for their work and their, you know, practice and their focus, so forth and so on. All right, so I want you to be thinking about then, you know, not only today, not only right now, but as you go into Thanksgiving, but also the whole holiday season. What are you thankful for? Now, to break down the difference between thankful and gratitude even further, let— I'll kind of use 2020 because right now everyone's screaming and yelling, wanting to just put 2020 behind them and get into the new year. And I would kind of caution you against that. I would caution you against not at least appreciating what has gone on this year, uh, the good, the bad, and the ugly. So I am not here to sit here and say or judge you should you go, I am too hurt, I am hurting too much, I've been pained too much, I've lost too much to be thankful or grateful for anything. And, um, I won't dismiss that. And actually, I'll have you Live in that, live in that, that emotion, that, that feeling of pain, hurt, loss. Live in it, recognize it, feel it, process it. Though I would not be who I am, let alone a coach, if I would— if I weren't to say to you, once you do, or as you do, choose when you're going to move beyond it. Because many of us can certainly hold on to anger, hold on to bitterness, hold on to betrayal, hurt, hold on to loss to a, to a degree that— Coco, someone's at my door.

Come here.

To a degree that they kind of hold on to it for so long that they are unable to then open themselves up, open their heart up enough to receive everything that's still, you know, going on around them. They're not open to really see the opportunities, to see the possibilities, to see the advantages that are out there, to really take, take— one minute to really kind of take in. There is definitely someone at my door, but I am not going to interrupt it for, although I might need to just put everyone on mute for just a second. Coco, just settle down, okay, bud? Just settle down. They will figure out that I am not available. Coco, Coco, come here, bud.

Come here.

Someone will text me if they really need me. Come here, bud. That's okay. So come on up. There you go. Come on up. Um, so what I would have to suggest to you as a coach is that you are at least, um, spending time with it, but then choosing, you know, to move on, choosing to put it behind you so you are open to receiving and acknowledging and recognizing what is— what other opportunities are out there around you, and for you to heal, and for you to put things behind you, um, in order for you to be able to move forward. Not only because it's the holiday season, you want to be able to enjoy it, but more so, so you can actually really live and thrive, uh, as opposed to just be held down by all the, the hits that you've been taking this year. So, you know, there is a great deal that you can start with being thankful around. So, for instance, many of you around the country, around the world, have been expressing your thankfulness to healthcare workers and first— frontline responders and to teachers and to community leaders who are, you know, doing their best to, you know, pull everybody together and care for the people within their community. You're being thankful to the friend that maybe was there, able to help you and assist you with maybe the fact that you lost your job or you're struggling financially and they were able to, you know, lend a helping hand. You're thankful to the neighbor, you know, who might have, like me, who might have helped you in a very difficult time., or that charity that you, you know, are— you or a neighbor or someone that you know, maybe you pointed someone to, was able to provide kind of, you know, the household goods that you really needed in order to, you know, kind of keep your family, you know, kind of running and keep you kind of running. You know, you might be thankful to all the family members, you know, including yourself, but those within your household who have all worked very, you know, nicely, not to say that there wasn't some band-aids, but have all cooperated in making those adjustments to the kids having to be schooled at home or the, you know, the older family members being able to work from home, making those adjustments, rearranging the house, you know, changing up schedules, that kind of thing. You might have even, you might have even and are thankful to your employer for being able to, you know, keep you on the payroll, keep your fellow employees employed, keep your— the business open, or at least pivoting and creating new ways for— to earn money in order for the employees and yourself to continue earning it, earning a wage. So there's a great deal to be thankful for. So I would just have you spend a couple of minutes considering for yourself what you are thankful for, that act of thanking. Now you may, you may or may not, but you may verbally or in some, you know, way express that thankfulness. So there's people kind of dropping off, dropping off food or dropping off gifts to those frontline, frontline workers. There's times where people are giving little treats and little gifts of expression to grocery store workers who are kind of walking across the line, so to speak. They're walking across that C-word line to be there in order to help us. Truckers, doctors, we can go on and on and on. But, you know, so just consider what are you thankful for from January 1st of this year through all the craziness and today. To today? What are you thankful for? All right, now let's keep in mind that gratitude is that manifestation of expression of love, appreciation, even spirituality, um, that is as a result of something outside of you. All right, so it's that— maybe it's that mentor that's been there for a long time, really guiding you along the way, whether it's in your business, in your career, um, as a student, whatever, you know, building your, your craft or your hobby or your passion. And therefore you're grateful for that person, uh, you're grateful for a lesson, you know, you're grateful for some of the hardship, um, that, that, you know, that you have experienced this year because it's taught you some— not only some expressions, hmm, not only some expressions, but it has also taught you some new skills, some new thought processes, belief systems, you know, things that, you know, are within and outside of yourself. And it appears as if, for those of you on Facebook, it appears as if the Facebook Live stopped streaming, but that's okay, we're still recording. And so I'll just make sure that we share this out as the video. And of course, we're broadcasting on BlogTalkRadio. So for those of you over on Shedding the Bitch who wanted to partake in this conversation, then be sure to go to BlogTalkRadio, Shedding the Bitch Radio, and you can find today's show that's in progress. Right there. Okay, so, so gratitude— where thankfulness is that automatic response at that action of thanking, gratitude is that special, you know, manifestation of love, appreciation, even your spirituality of something that's, that's occurred not only necessarily over time could have occurred like once, but that you're expressing outward. So it almost has to involve someone or something, um, that's— that, you know, has a deeper level of meaning and influence and transformation for you. As opposed to, you know, thankfulness can be just because someone opened the door for you, right? Gratitude is more of a of a, of a deeper level of expression and emotion as a result of someone or something that's happened to you in a much deeper, a deeper way. Like I mentioned, you know, for that longtime mentor, for that family member who's always been there and helps you when, you know, when things get rough. You can be grateful for your health. That's something, you know, many of us are grateful for this year. You could be grateful for you know, you and others, you know, taking the precautions and taking everything that's been going on very seriously so you, you know, are able to, you know, remain healthy, keep your family healthy, keep your extended family healthy, so forth and so on. So gratitude is, you know, is that expression of appreciation on such a much deeper level as a result of an occurrence or a series of occurrences, to be more formal, um, in regards to what gratitude is. So think of it, you know, thankfulness is an act, gratitude is an expression of something that's happened, um, you know, for you, more on the outside than thankfulness is kind of you're, you know, you're thankful, you're thanking someone, you're thankful within, um, for, for something that someone's done for you. Okay, so consider what you're grateful for this year. So you're, for instance, you're not going to thank your life. You're not going to be able to thank your life. You can be grateful for your life and for your health, um, and for your, you know, new lessons and new skills. You can, you know, but you're not going to thank necessarily yourself for that. And, you know, you don't, you may not necessarily feel that you have to thank Joe, Sam, and Harry for giving those skills, or you're not going to thank COVID for giving you those skills, but you're going to be grateful that through everything that's been going on, you have new skills, you have new coping mechanisms, you have new lessons, and you have new opportunities and possibilities being presented to you. But there really isn't necessarily anyone there to actually thank, so you're grateful for it. Okay, so spend some time, you know, considering what are you grateful for. What are, you know, what has been those transformations, those changes, those experiences, those lessons, those blessings the, even the hard stuff, you know, what are you grateful for? Because they have created a change or transformation or an opportunity or a possibility for you to be in, you know, in a, in a place. Because I'm, I'm being careful not to say a good place because some of us are still not in a good place. Some of you are still struggling or still lost. Stuck, apprehensive. But trust me when I say, if you were to sit down, even give yourself 10 minutes, and if you were to sit down and start scribbling in a journal, on a piece of paper, on your, you know, computer, what you are truly grateful for, you know, it could have something to do with this year, you know, pandemic and everything going on, or it could just be generally overall in life. You know, you're grateful that you have a support system in your family, support system amongst your friends and your community. You know, you're grateful for the fact that you are working and that you are, you do have an income. You're grateful that you, you know, you haven't caught the, the C-word and, you know, you aren't struggling. You're grateful for the food in your refrigerator, the roof over your head. You're grateful for the kids, though they're not in school, they're, you know, still doing their best sitting, you know, sitting and doing their schooling at home. So you're grateful for the school system for providing you that ability to still ensure that your kids are educated even though they can't be in the classroom in front of their teachers. So as you even if you are lost, stuck, apprehensive, if you're just frustrated, if you're bored, if you're depressed, if you're struggling in any way, shape, or form, one of the number one tools, you know, I would give you as a coach and many other experts would give you is to sit down and start acknowledging, start writing out on a piece of paper because you know me, get it out of your head onto a piece of paper, what you're grateful for. Because you will feel, you will feel that shift. Because as you're being grateful for things and people and places and experiences in your life, you can't help but to get kind of a warm heart. You can't help but put a smile on your face as you're thinking about the fact that you're good. And I could cry, actually. So I'm going to try really hard not to. But I could if I start thinking about how grateful I am to my brothers and sisters, to, you know, a couple of key friends, to the fact that I am, you know, in a home safely protected. I might be a little cold today, but safely protected, you know, by the elements outside, safely protected from not being ill, safely protected by, you know, having my Coco, you know, even if she is barking during a program. You know, so I can't help but smile. So you wouldn't help— be able to do anything but smile, get a warm heart, and feel that shift, as subtle as it may be, feel that shift out of you feeling lost and stuck and apprehensive and scared to feeling, okay, I do have a great deal in my life, a good many blessings in my life, even though they look like lessons and hard things. And therefore, there is hope. You know, there is hope. You know, we are, you are probably grateful for all the scientists that are working their tails off to find a vaccine that gives us that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, that gives us hope. And so, if you can, you know, spend, sit down, spend some time really thinking about who would you want to thank. What are you thankful for? And then, what are you grateful for? And just, like, pay attention. Be very aware and sensitive to the emotions that, you know, that, that, that is creating for you. And I guarantee you, you will not only, you know, feel a shift and really kind of feel, you know, feel a light kind of shining on your heart, you know, shining on your life, shining on your universe, to where you are— you open yourself up, you let your guard down, you, you kind of shed some of those, you know, feelings of angst and/or insecurity or negativity or fear or just sadness, anxiety, stress. You'll just feel it go away. And anytime you feel it start coming back, go back to them. Go back, start from scratch, which many of you do on a daily basis. Start from scratch. It's not like you start a list and you just add to it. You actually start from scratch and just use gratitude and thankfulness to really lift your spirit and lift yourself up. No matter what time of the year, no matter what the situation is. And just allow it, allow it to, to kind of feed you with love and joy and peace and calm and just overall happiness. All right. And, and then again, if anxiety or stress pops up, go back to it and just use it as your tool. Use it as your weapon. Against, you know, frustration and stress and anything else that you might be experiencing. And then share it with someone. Share the act, share the practice of gratitude and thankfulness with others, with your children, with your friends, with your significant other, with your employees, with your, you know, community. Having a practice of gratitude can transform your life. And it— and if that just appears too big and grandiose for you to consider, then just, just take this week, take it right now, and, you know, sit down and just pay attention to it for the rest of the week. Practice it for the rest of the week to Friday and see how it just opens you up. Because remember, what you focus on expands. What you put out into the universe is brought back to you, and your dominant thoughts— and I will say feelings and emotions here— rule your actions. So if you're in any way, you know, just, you know, really frustrated, really lost, really stuck, apprehensive, scared, negative, whatever the case might be, just go into a state of gratitude and thankfulness. And, and feel yourself shift toward what I call riches in your life. Okay, now that— speaking of that, and if you really want to spend time even more and more on this, then I want to invite you. December 7th, we kick off our very popular Goals to Riches Challenge. It's 5 days. There'll be a 6-day bonus Q&A, but it's 5 days of really powerful work and powerful, um, training and conversation around you being able to declare, own, and achieve your goals. And a great deal of you being able to do that is your mindset, is your gratitude, is your thankfulness, is, you know, you shedding those limiting beliefs, you being able to shift yourself out of any state of, ugh, any state of negativity and fear and anxiety and depression and low self-esteem, low self-worth, and shifting it so you are open to receiving everything and anything that the world has to offer you. So our 5-day Goals to Riches Challenge starts December 7th. You can go to GoalsToRiches.com and register. And we will have a private Facebook pop-up group for it where all the videos, whether you're there live or you have to watch the replays, it'll provide your workbook, it'll provide all the collaboration, you know, amongst the, amongst the group, and it will really give you a, a great opportunity to kind of declare, own, and achieve what it is that you want. Today, tomorrow, and in the future. So I'd be honored for you to be there and check it out. And then until next Tuesday at noon Eastern time, I'll wish you a very beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, peaceful, joyful, and rich Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.