Being Thankful and GREATFUL with Bernadette Boas HAPPY THANKS!!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day, good day, good day, everyone. How are you? Yes, indeed, it's Bernadette Boas. Apologize for that little technical glitch, uh, but it is Thanksgiving week and I am grateful, grateful for each and every one of you. And I hope you are ramped up and ready for a, uh, a blessed celebration, a blessed week, um, wherever you might be celebrating and wherever, um, you might be traveling to and from. Uh, just be safe out there. I actually made my way down yesterday down to Florida. There's this big huge community called The Villages, uh, and one of my sisters has a home here for the, for the winter. Uh, her— she's a snowbird now. And so I just decided— I've had a pretty busy and rough, uh, 6 weeks. All good, by the way. All good. Very, very, um, very grateful for all the work. Um, it's just chaotic when you're putting on and producing events and workshops and content and, you know, rallying, you know, pitch presenters and judges and all that kind of good stuff. So my last one was this past Saturday, just a couple days ago, and found myself kind of collapsing that night, trying to get a good long night's sleep, which I did, and then just decided that I would jump in the car with my little pup sleeping right beside me and come down and spend the week here in South— or it's actually North Florida. So wherever you might be going to celebrate and, and chow out, I hope you just have a safe and very blessed, blessed, blessed celebration. And it is leading us into the holiday season, so this is kind of a good time. And actually for a disappointment or two, which I'll talk about in a minute, it's actually a good time that disappointment might come around because then you could, can use the opportunity to kind of sit down and reflect on what it is that you really are grateful for. So, for example, and it's been one or two or three times this year, Uh, this today we were going to be having a guest, and for the past week and a half, two weeks, I've been reaching out. They, they were following up with me to kind of confirm her appearance, and, uh, then everything just fell quiet, uh, and I was kind of heads down and like I mentioned in a number of things going on as well, um, but had a very difficult time trying to reach, um, her media person or her the last couple days. So I sense that we, you know, we weren't going to be having a guest today. So, why I bring that up is because when I think of gratitude as well, I'm thinking about the fact that I am grateful that I am not the woman I was 8, 10, 15, 25 years ago. Because quite honestly, something like that would just send me over the, over, over the top. I would get all stressed, I would get angry, I would just start, you know, kind of spewing venom all over the place. And I wasn't very, very good at all just being flexible and nimble and kind of not casual, because I think anytime you have, you know, a business like mine and you're offering up business opportunities like I do to my guests, you know, that's something to be taken seriously and professionally. But at the same time, you just do have to learn to, and I definitely had to learn to just kind of, okay, that, that happens. There's a cancellation, there's a last minute, there's somebody standing you up, there's somebody who is just totally avoiding or ignoring or just not taking it very seriously themselves. But I'm just grateful that I've learned to kind of not take on that junk that someone else is spewing and not let it affect me, which in turn could affect you as my listeners, my followers, my fans, my friends, my community. So I started thinking about, as I was sensing that it would be you and I on this episode today, that you know what, that's okay. This is a good time and going into the season where things just are going to break loose and things are going to get crazy and everyone's going to have high expectations and a lot of us are going to get disappointed in, in, in and when those expectations aren't met the way we, you know, dreamt them up in our mind. At the same time, you know, a lot of the family dynamic stresses people out, the rush of the season stresses people out, The closing out of a year and the start of a new year stresses people out. And so we're just going to, on this particular episode as we go into Thanksgiving, we're just going to take a deep breath and just relax and not let it affect us and let it roll off our shoulders and let it just flip away. Let us shed the bitches that might get us in a wad, that might get us in a tizzy, that might get us to go inward and get depressed or sad or hurt, whatever the case might be. Let's just— let's agree individually and then as a community to not allow that to happen. Because all I have to say is, you know, and I say it often, this life is going really, really fast. My brother-in-law who I'm visiting with, you know, mentioned something to me and I said, yeah, I said, I can't believe it's, you know, been a couple years already. And he said, it's been like 4 or 5. I'm like, excuse me? He's like, it's been 4 or 5 years, you know. So as the days tick on, all of a sudden everything becomes kind of mushed together and what you think happened yesterday actually happened a year ago. What happened a year ago happened 10 years ago. So let's just all, you know, be okay with the fact that things aren't going to go the way we want them to go and people aren't going to meet our expectations. We're not going to get what we want and there are going to be some bumpy times, but there's going to be some joyful, joyful times as well. And let's just use this opportunity to just simply be. How about that? How about that? So we're just gonna be on this program and we're gonna talk gratitude and we're gonna talk what we each could be doing to help ourselves to not just be grateful, that's one thing, but to really understand what gratitude is and feel it and instill it and just kind of trust in it, 'cause I think too often Too often we, we say we are grateful. And yet, at the same time, you know, as fast as the words come off of our lips, the next thing that comes up, and if it is agitating or aggravating or whatever the case might be, you know, that gratitude just went pshew, like a puff of smoke. So, let us just really commit to ourselves because it is in our best interest as individuals and as a community. To really, really appreciate and to take in what gratitude is all about. All right, so that's what we're going to do today. I'm not going to get upset. Now, I will tell you what we're also going to walk through during the program because I can't ignore, and so you're going to hear some confessions from me as well because as you all know, I adapted my book into a film script called Confessions of a Corporate Bitch. And actually, this came to me just seconds ago before we got on the program, and it was simply because I finally pulled my script not out of the drawer, but so to speak, and I've been using it to pitch back out in LA. I mentioned last week I was in LA the week before, and then also one of the events that I was working, working on and doing a workshop at Pitch Like a Pro past Friday. The next day I then chose to be the student, so to speak, and I participated in a pitch fest where such as, you know, companies like MGM were there, Harpo Films was there, Supremacy was there, Pearl Street Studios was there. That's Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's company. There was a number of companies at this event. And I played attendee and made sure that I focused on my own stuff. So I realized, I called the script Confessions of a Corporate Bitch because I really do think in order for an individual like myself, in order for an individual to change, to transform, to shift, you know, it's all about confessing, it's all about purging, it's all about self-awareness. And I'm not that woo-woo person that a lot of personal transformational coaches and speakers are, so I like words that are, I don't know, that hit me in the gut. So confession is much more kind of powerful to me than to just say I need to be self-aware. I might use that with you because some of you like the punchiness, some of you like the the soft stroke. But for myself, I need something a little bit like more of a slap across the face, quite honestly, and therefore, you know, confessions. So I'm going to even acknowledge some of those throughout the program when it comes to gratitude because I believe that when you acknowledge your weaknesses, when you acknowledge things that you might not be honest with yourself about, when you acknowledge or confess what's been staring at you in the face, you have an opportunity to see kind of where you do need to make those shifts, those changes. You do need to make those adjustments. It doesn't mean that you have to give up on whatever it is that you, that you were doing or what, who you are. It just means that maybe once you are honest with yourself, you confess to yourself, even to other people, or you just simply acknowledge, you then have an opportunity to make a decision. Do I continue that way or I want to go this way? So let me give you a for instance before I get too far off a tangent and then I'll make sure I pull ourselves back in. So where confessions are concerned, not only because it's my script, but when this last cancellation, stand-up, avoid, whatever you want to call it, that the guest that we promote and we advertise doesn't show up on the program. I have to kind of say, okay, this has happened, you know, 2, 3, maybe even 4 times this year. Now granted, it's a weekly show, so that gives an opportunity for, let's see, 3 weeks out of every month because the 4th is Ask Bernadette, so I don't have a guest. So there's about, you know, 12 times 3, there's about 36 guests that should be scheduled, and when you're getting 3 or 4 canceled that's getting up there. I mean, and yeah, and I agree, things happen. But, you know, my brother-in-law actually called me out on it and said, and actually Deborah, and everybody knows Deborah of Parker House Virtual Services, she's even brought it up, you know, questioning like, why would these people be canceling? Why would they not be showing up? Why would they stand you up? And I kind of would, you know, kind of respond just because they're asking. So I would respond, but I never really sat with it and thought about it. This year has been, and I'm not making excuses, But we, you know, our lives get busy and we answer the question and we move on. No, this time, you know, I'm not moving on. I'm confessing that I need to confess, and I need to be grateful for acknowledging, and not even acknowledging, for finally seeing it, that I need to reconsider kind of the approach that I'm taking to the show. Not that I'm doing away with it. Remember, you don't have to give up on something. I'm just going to reconsider it because I love, I absolutely love bringing you valuable, viable, transformative conversations. But maybe there's a different way of doing it. Maybe there's just a way that would streamline things and/or maybe some people aren't finding it powerful enough for them. You know, though I would say they should make that decision at the time that their media person reaches out to me or I reach out to them. But, you know, okay, let's just take a look and see what we might want to do to make the Shedding the Bitch community, you know, that much richer. And so I will be spending— I'm grateful for kind of having this happen today as I go into not only Thanksgiving, where we should be continuing to be grateful for, but also the November-December period where we do a lot of talking here in the Shed in a Bitch community about planning and goal setting and assessing and looking at what worked, what didn't work. So the November-December time period is all focused on those type of conversations. And I practice what I preach, at least I try, so that's what I'll be doing. So the first thing I want to leave you with before we take a quick break, and I left my water in the other room so I'll just grab that, but you know, your rich question for today's show is not only what are you grateful for, but I want you to acknowledge for yourself, confess to yourself whether or not you're grateful or are you truly down deep inside, you know, what is it that you're truly grateful for. If we, you know, if someone says and goes around the table, what are you grateful for? Oh, I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful for that. Roof over my head. Are you? Are you? You know, is it, you know, that important to you? Do you love it that much? Are you so grateful for it that much, or are you kind of taking it for granted? So just think about that as we work our way through this conversation today and as you go through your Thanksgiving and your Christmas holiday, a time when, you know, family and a roof over our heads and food on the table are things we should all be on our knees, however you might pray or thank, and truly be grateful and take the time to recognize and to acknowledge that you truly, truly are. And if those aren't the things that really kind of give you pause and excitement and gratitude, then what is it that you're truly grateful for? Think about that, and we'll be right back and we'll get into this conversation. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@deborahparker.com. Va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. Today, as we lead into the Thanksgiving holiday and then overall the Christmas or whatever, whatever celebration you might be having between now and the end of the year, we're talking gratitude.. And we're talking and wanting to take time to not only talk about it, but really to think about it and to go deep and truly understand what it is that you're grateful for. Now, it's interesting, something caught me when I looked up because I wanted to make sure that I, you know, truly understood myself what gratitude really is. And I love this very simple Wikipedia definition, actually it's a paragraph long, but the very first few words hit me and really made me start to think about, you know, there is a difference between just a surface, you know, gratitude where we, you know, are grateful for this and we're grateful for that, but yet, you know, whether or not we really are grounded in that gratitude or we're just kind of taking it for granted. You know, is there's a big difference between it. Wikipedia explanation, I won't call it necessarily a definition, but an explanation for gratitude is the quality of being thankful. And they go on to say readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness, and it's also a feeling of appreciation felt by and/or similar positive response shown by the recipient of kindness. I don't necessarily believe you have to get to receive gratitude. You know, you could have, and it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, given from another person. It could be something that you have, you know, given yourself and that you're grateful for. But the words that really caught me was the quality of being thankful, and that's what made me even start considering What I've always, you know, said or put down in a gratitude journal, you know, those of you who may use a gratitude journal, you know, the question is, do you simply write or do you really give thoughtful and quality thought to what you're thankful or grateful for? You know, it's not a duty to be grateful. It's not a requirement, and therefore kind of if you give it, gave it really serious thought, what would you truly say you're grateful for? So I love that, the quality of being thankful. So I would just, you know, suggest to you or and have you consider that, you know, this week as you go into Thanksgiving, and maybe you are one of those group of friends or families or community that when you come together you do go around a table to, to share what you're grateful for, maybe from this year, maybe from your life. And you have a couple days to really think about that and give it some quality consideration because it may not be just those surface things that you're grateful for. There could be just little, little elements For instance, I am grateful for being stood up on my radio program today because it did cause pause for me to consider, you know, if there's changes or something I need to be doing differently or I want to be doing differently, or maybe I didn't assess the prospective radio guest appropriately. And this could be something that, you know, he or she does on a regular basis. I'm protecting, kind of, you know, having to mention who it was. But, you know, but there could be a lot of things to be looked at. And so I am grateful with a lot of quality, you know, gratitude that it's caused me to actually scribble out like 2 or 3 pages in my journal of things that I would and will consider doing differently going forward. So how can you not be grateful for that? But I would have you thinking about what are you grateful for, obviously. And if you question how to measure that, you know, consider what has been transformative in your life this year, let's say. You know, what has really brought quality in your life, quality love, quality joy, quality happiness, maybe contentment, maybe peace, maybe stability or security. What's really been brought into your, into your world in the past 11 months that, you know, kind of digs down and it goes deeper than your, your, you know, taking care of yourself from a food, roof, and family perspective. Now I'm not saying don't be grateful for those things, not at all. Just go down a little bit deeper to consider what are those other small little things. I, you know, if I were to think about it right now, I was grateful and am grateful to the 2 or 3 entertainment companies that recognized the quality of work I had done recently over the past year and a half, 2 years, and decided to engage me to work with them in the past, you know, I would say like 3 or 4 months. It's sending me in a new direction, one that I didn't even think about this time last year. So I'm very, very grateful for that. I'm grateful for some renters that came and rented my home who not only, you know, brought me that security and stability from renting my home perspective, but also they just were wonderful people. And they just brought just new friendships into my life that I would never have expected because they're renters, right? Renters come and go. But this particular couple were just truly, truly kind and generous and friendly people. And it just kind of made me really smile and appreciate not only were they taking great care of my home, but at the same time they brought a friendship that I didn't, you know, didn't have 6 months ago. So really consider not only what you're grateful for, but, you know, what is that what, whom, or where that you might be grateful for? I know a friend of mine moved away from Atlanta, Georgia, and she's now living out west. And she's been out there now, I guess, a few months. And she, she and I were having a conversation and she was mentioning she took Atlanta for granted because where she is is very vastly different. And she's going through a major, you know, kind of adjustment, especially as you get older. If you're in your 50s, you know, all of a sudden you're having to make new friends and it's not as easy when you're, you know, 50 as it is when you're in your 20s or your 30s. So she all of a sudden really said that she sat and thought about kind of what she took for granted and what she didn't really appreciate while she was in Atlanta. And now she's certainly feeling it, and she's going to do things differently because, you know, out west is going to be their long-term home now. So they'll be, you know, doing something differently. About, you know, about how she really kind of appreciates where she's living, where she is right now in the moment, and it happens to be not in Atlanta. So what are you potentially taking for granted, or what are you potentially kind of just expecting is in your life, is in your world, is in your, you know, surroundings, your community? And what might you actually be truly, truly grateful for? And one way you could be looking at that as well is, what if you didn't have it? What if you did— if there was a person or a place or a thing that wasn't in your life? You can look at it that way. What kind of change or adjustment or shift would that cause? How would that make your life look like right now if you didn't have it? And you could look at You know, there are some things that I could certainly say that if they weren't in my life, I wouldn't miss them. And then there are other things that, oh my God, you know, it just takes my breath away and makes me panic, the thought of not having them. And therefore, you know, do you really take time to appreciate and be grateful for those things? Because those are the things— and I am not talking those things you are expected to live with, and yet, you know, you might say, well, I can actually live without them. So even family, you know, even your job. The number one thing I was having a conversation with someone just a few weeks ago about, I was mentoring him on his resume, and he, you know, kept on saying, you know, making the comment that he needs this job. You know, like, I'm just grateful for having an opportunity to interview for this job. I'm just— jobs haven't come around, so— and that kind of conversation, that kind of talk, especially self-talk, that's not really healthy for anybody, especially oneself. Yes, when jobs are hard to find and there is a job, I've learned over my lifetime that not all money is good money, not all jobs are good jobs, not all Men are good men. Not all friends are good friends. Not all family members are good family members. Yes, if all of those were beautiful, wonderful, kind, giving, you know, things in our lives, that'd be fabulous, but it's not always. That's not reality. So we have to be careful that we're also not just being grateful for something that we really should be kind of amping up and elevating our expectations, our self-value, our self-worth. Not any job's the job that you should have or could have or deserve to have. Not every money that can be made— yes, it'll pay the bills, but you also could be a very, very, very miserable person while you're earning that paycheck. So really consider what are those things, those people, those places that you can't live without. They would drain or take away the quality of your life, of your world, of your person. And those things, maybe if you haven't recently recognized your gratitude toward them, maybe those are things that you want to think about in this period of Thanksgiving. Let's see, what we talked about that, um, what else would I be looking at? You know, I had mentioned that, you know, I was grateful in regards, and I confessed in regards to what happened today with the show. But I'll be honest with you, what I'm truly grateful for is not even that. That's even what I would call that surface, that thing that you just take for granted type of thing. I would say what that really speaks to, the situation with not having a guest and therefore having to come up with a subject, and not only that, that's not even the point either. The point being, and I have to really think about, and I'm grateful for that it's given me pause to consider, why did I get this last one, let alone the 2 or 3 others canceling on me at the last minute? Standing me up or not even acknowledging after confirming that they'd be on the program. So, you know, I am grateful for that. But what it really speaks to for me is it speaks to the fact that I'm really grateful that I've learned to be more— I think I mentioned it— flexible and nimble and positive and not allow it to get me negative or insecure or desperate or even, you know, kind of agitated and stressed and curt or unkind. You know, right now I wouldn't even think about being unkind. Am I not, you know, do I feel a little, not disrespected, do I feel a little bit not taken for granted? What's the word, I'm going to come up with it, you know, but I can tell you that that's far, far better and easier to kind of blow off and not let it, you know, really affect me than, you know, during the days when I would just have taken this very personally, very desperately, I would have taken it very negatively. And trust me when I say, would say, venom would be spewing all over the place. So looking, you know, looking at your situation also is really think about what are those things in your world you're grateful for, but what are those positive impacts they've had on your life to where you know that that's the reason you're grateful, not for the actual materialistic thing, whether that be a person or a thing, but actually just the emotional, mental, spiritual shift or transformation or appreciation that it brings to your being is something that you could also be considering as well. We're going to take a quick break. When we get back, we'll continue this conversation and a little bit more as we get our heads around getting into a joyous season of kindness and gratitude for not only Thanksgiving but into the Christmas and New Year holiday. And we are going to talk about kindness when we get back, so we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients.

Clients.

Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at MediaRelations@Virginia.gov.

Sheddingthebitch.com.

Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. As we go into this week's turkey fest. We are also using it as an opportunity to really just do what we should be doing, and, and that is giving thanks, and that is, you know, really considering what we're grateful for. And I would say in that giving thanks, if this is a great opportunity that if there is someone you know, you need to be thanking, or there's something you should be doing in, you know, to express what you're grateful or thankful for. This certainly is also that time of year that you could be taking care of that, because I don't know about you, but as much as I do, I truly do, um, someone when they do something well, I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to the fact that life has just, life, you know, can just, you know, kind of go so fast that I just get, you know, I have, I have a team or an individual working with me or whatever the case might be, and we get done and we kind of move on, and then something else comes up and we get done, or someone offers up a, you know, a helping hand and we get done and life moves on. And I can say and confess, I can say and confess that my accountant and friend is one of those individuals. I've been working with her for a number, a good number of years, and she just was helping me with something the past few months to finally get rectified because we've had a hell of a time trying to figure it all out and untangle the mess. But, and you know, I kind of moved on, and then all of a sudden I found myself, you know, getting slapped across the face by myself, from myself. And I said to myself, oh my god, I really need to thank her and her team. And you know, but it's, it's not just an email or a phone call or, you know, a lunch out. So it just so happened one of my mentorees that I've been mentoring for couple decades, or at least a decade and a half, his son was collecting money through you buying popcorn or candy or something from his, his, I think it's his boys club, Boy Scouts. And all of a sudden, so he sends me the brochure of the things that I could buy as a way of donating to the son's club. And I thought, oh, that's what I'm gonna do. She'll never expect this to happen because in 8 years I had not sent something. Kind of, you know, by surprise. And so I did, I ordered a bunch of stuff and sent it over to her. And, you know, I get this crazy, crazy voicemail that I saved because it's just so funny, her gratitude, her thanks in return when she received it. So, you know, if there is that opportunity to just pause and make sure that the people in your life really, you know, recognize and understand and hear, you know, what, you know, your thanks and your gratitude toward them. That's, you know, that's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And so I was saying about, you know, Ellen's show, at the end of every day of Ellen's show, she says, be kind to one another. And I love when she says it because, again, today's conversation seems to be about taking pause. Again, it provides an opportunity when she says that, I all of a sudden, and I don't know about you, but I'll all of a sudden just stop. And I'll think about that. And I'll be, even if it's just a flash in a pan, but it all of a sudden creates a shift for me that it allows me to think about, okay, so was I kind this morning, or at that very moment, I'm going to be kind, you know, and really kind of keep that within ourselves. You know, my brother-in-law was telling me this morning, he has a couple of Matthew Kelly books. If you're familiar with Matthew Kelly, he's a Catholic consultant. I don't know what to call him. But he, you know, studies Catholicism, but he's a prolific writer. In regards to Catholicism, in regards to the Catholic Church, in regards to how the Mass and how the Bible, you know, should come together and really serve. And they're very uplifting books, very inspiring books, very grace-filled books. And so my brother and I, I noticed that he had a couple of Matthew Kelly's books on his cocktail table, and I have a couple myself. At home. And so I, we were talking about it and, you know, he said to me, he says, you know, I, I've read both of these books about 4 or 5 times, he says, because I don't retain well. He says, so it just, you know, kind of helps me to, to try to get, take it in as much as possible. And I don't know that he necessarily needs to be thinking about that he's not retaining it. I think I think it takes us, you know, especially in a world right now, we've all just gone through the elections, and we're not going to talk politics, don't worry about it, but I think over the last, you know, 3 months leading up to the midterm elections, you know, there's enough things that could get you, you know, angry and bitter and just hostile and unkind, and unkind. So, I think when we have so many walls and barriers set up, and we are on such the defensive all the time, and with all due respect to 99.9% of us, you know, it is much easier for us to find fault in things than to find the beauty in things. It is much easier for us to see the warts of someone than it is to see the beauty marks. And I think why that is, is simply because if we are not secure and positive and have self-worth for ourselves, and we find ourselves with warts as opposed to those beauty marks, well, we feel better when other people have warts. Even those that do not, and they have beauty marks. So it is much easier to say, no, they have warts, as opposed to that they have beauty marks. Because then that, if they acknowledge they have beauty marks, it makes, you know, them feel smaller or uglier. So it is much easier to go to the negative than it is to the positive. And I think when Ellen makes that comment at the end of each of her shows, it gives me at least an opportunity to just take pause and to consider, you know, where my head and heart is at the time. And, you know, where I want it to be as I then, you know, continue my day after her show and I go out into the world. But, you know, through all this politics the last several months, I found myself just, you know, my kind heart turning dark. And, and I, you know, really was not, not liking it at all. And I kind of felt myself getting heavy in all kinds of ways. Regardless of the fact that I have lost 35 pounds, I just felt myself getting heavy. And decided to do something about that myself and, and start to kind of just, you know, stop looking at the media, stop turn— you know, watching television, turning off any feeds that were coming in on my phone or my laptop regarding it. Because it just got in— I am in Georgia, right? It just got ugly, ugly, ugly. And I am sure wherever you are in the country, you heard about it. Between Georgia and Florida, you know, you know, we have had it up to here. And so, I think I think, you know, kindness is just something too that this time of year, it goes along with gratitude. But I know a lot of people who claim to be grateful for things that are just ugly people. You know, they have those warts. I'm not talking physical. They just have those warts. They have those bitches, as we call it here in the Shedding the Bitch community. And so, the other— so, I started scribbling as I was, you know, 5 minutes before getting on the program, recognizing that it would be you and I today talking. And I just thought to myself, you know, we just also have to be kind. We have to, you know, even if it is faking it until we make it, even if we, you know, do not feel like smiling, or we are agitated, or depressed, or, you know, kind of lonely, whatever it is, we are pained in some way, shape, or form, you know, fake it until you make it. Put on a mask and work at being kind. We used to always be kind. You know, as children, when we are born we are not born with anything but kindness, with a smile, with, you know, a lot of hope and aspirations for, for a beautiful, beautiful life and world. And, you know, along the way it just gets tainted. So, I think regardless if you are 20 or if you are 75, there are still opportunities to make sure the rest of our days are more joyous, are more colorful, are more kind. And therefore, grateful. Because then you will have true things to be grateful for, not those things that you just, you know, kind of take for granted, or you just expect, or, you know, you are just, they are parts of surviving. But you truly have things that you can, can be on your knees to whomever you pray, or chant, or meditate to, and be grateful for. So, that would be just the other thing, and I'm actually going to leave you with that in regards to kindness. You know, I won't steal Ellen's term because I could be sued for copyright because I'm sure she has it copywritten. But it's just something to think about. Quoting Ellen, "Be kind to one another." And actually, I'm going to flip it on its head a little bit. Focus on being kind to you first during the, this holiday season. Be kind to you first. Because if you are first kind to you, and maybe that is my saying, which will complement hers, be kind to you. And then she can come along and say, be kind to one another. Be kind to you because if you are kind to you first, just like that air mask in an airplane. And I think I even mentioned this last week or a couple weeks ago here on the show. You know, put the mask on yourself first before helping others. Be kind to yourself first because that will give you a bright heart, a colorful heart, a smile, a glitter in the eye, and a step, you know, a gan in your step, or a step in your gan. And therefore, you will you will be kind to others. So be kind to you this holiday season, and I'll look forward to talking to you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. Happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Deborah, to you and your family, I am grateful to you. Thank you so much for all of the assistance and support and help that you have— yeah, that you bring not only to myself but our Shedding the Bitch community. So thank you very much. Right back at you, Bernadette. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you, Debra. Thank you, thank you. And to everybody in the Shedding the Bitch community, Happy Thanksgiving. We'll talk to you soon.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.

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