Bernadette Boas of Shedding the Bitch Radio asks 'What is it going to take for YOU to SHIFT!!!

Well, good day everyone. How is everybody today? This is Bernadette Boas, and yes, you're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio all around the world. And we debate, dialogue, and simply just discuss kind of all of the angst and attitudes or negativity, fear, insecurity, doubt, uncertainty, all those things that kind of keep you stuck or that prevent you from really pursuing your goals and your dreams and overall life. With all the gusto that I know you possess. And so that's what we do here at Shedding the Bitch. We help you kind of shed all of those things which we call bitches out of your head and your heart so you can shift to all the riches that life has to offer you. And each week we kind of discuss current news or current things that are going on that is relevant to the subject, as well as then we dive into a particular subject. Like today, we really want to talk about what What does it take for an individual to really shift their heart and work on themselves in order to realize the riches that they want? And we're also going to talk about taking a pledge today, and you'll be hearing a lot more of that as we go forward. But I also talk about some, you know, like I said, current news and trends, and there's a couple of them that I wanted to kind of bring up and mention before we dive into the overall topic for today. Is sadly the passing of a significant mentor and coach to thousands, if not millions, of people around the world, Stephen Covey, author, speaker, personal development guru. And I guess it was yesterday or maybe the day before when he passed away. And if you are familiar at all with his infamous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, then you will know, you'll know know exactly who Stephen Covey is. But I wanted to kind of honor him as we do here. We try to honor our riches. It helps us to then kind of realize that we do have all the true potential and we have everything that we need in order to conquer any fear, overcome any challenge, and really just pursue life with gusto. So I kind of— I want to honor him and I, you know, would love you to take a moment to kind of think about if you are familiar with Stephen Covey, if you are You can always kind of Google quotes from Stephen Covey. Look at his book, The Seven— I'm losing my mind here— The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. And I captured on my Facebook page, if you go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook, I captured an article that was provided out around the 10 most important quotes of Stephen Covey. And I just wanted to mention one or two of them and kind of take some time to honor him. One of his quotes is, "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." Big difference there as to how you would approach life. I love this: "Live out of your imagination, not your history." So basically, live out of your imagination, not, you know, basically what's happened, what's gone wrong, what's good or bad from the past, but more so what you're envisioning for yourself in the future. "I'm not a product of my circumstances." 'I am a product of my decisions.' A beautiful quote with significant, significant meaning and relevance to any of us who are challenged with trying to determine kind of what our next steps and what is it that we need to do, want to do, and, you know, and realizing that where we are today with whatever you feel you're lacking, whatever you feel is keeping you from your goals You have everything and anything that you need. And therefore, what he's saying is it's all based on the decisions you make, and that's what we're going to talk about today. What are those decisions? What are those commitments? What are those pledges? What are those things that you're doing to overcome whatever excuse, whatever role of victim, whatever situation, event, or circumstance in your life has kept you back? Uh, another quote of his is, I teach people how to treat me by what I allow. I'm gonna repeat that. I teach people how to treat me based on what I will allow. And that has a lot to do with everything that we talk about here at Shedding the Bitch, is we are our own result. How we live, how people treat us, how we go out in the world, it's all about how we allow that to happen. Now that's easier said than done. Not to allow people to hurt us, to reject us, to mistreat us, to talk down to us, to not kind of show up. But at the same time, how we respond and how we react to those type of situations is all in our control. And therefore, what Stephen's also saying is we have the opportunity to influence how we want to be treated, and we treat others as we want to be treated. We go to the world as we want to go into the world, and we want the world to respond back to us. Okay, so just a few— I want one last one, one last one. His number 10 quote: Live, love, laugh, and leave a legacy. So I want to just kind of be able to honor Stephen Covey and the life that— and the legacy that he's left behind as he's impacted millions and millions. I think his books sold 20 million copies, if I heard that correctly yesterday. And therefore, he definitely has had some impact on your life. So an honoring of Stephen Covey. The next little update or next little news bulletin that I just wanted to comment, because last week we really talked about how things like Magic Mike and Fifty Shades of Grey are really allowing women to let their guards down and break through the wall walls and the barriers. And we talked about, you know, how that is helping for women to step out and really own being a leader, being a woman, being feminine, being— you know, one quote I mentioned to you is that there was something in the news about how women are the new man. Now, I think bottom line is it's basically saying that men are always accustomed to just pursuing what they want with, you know, pure, unadulterated vigor and maybe sometimes adulterated. And therefore, women are proving to also be doing that. But yet, there was two kind of interesting updates this week that got me really all excited. And that was, one, women, it's proven, we are the smartest or smarter gender. Women over men. Basically, the sophistication and the advancement in technologies and other things that the world has been experiencing over the decades decades has elevated the genius of women more so than men. So we are the smarter of the genders. So that was kind of, you know, a little woo-hoo, yay, yay, yay for women. The other one was the promotion, or I should say not even promotion, but the assignment of Marissa Mayer at Yahoo. Taken from Google, their arch rival, and placed in the position of CEO and actually on the board of directors for Yahoo. And I was actually commenting this morning on a number of blog sites about the fact that not only with her experience and her background and her know-how at Google, but more so because of— I really truly believe because of her age, she's 38, her involvement since you know, for 12 or 15 years with Google, so since her, you know, mid-20s. And she's been ahead of the technologies and the new applications and the new ways of communication that the younger generation as well as, you know, the older generations are now communicating. And could definitely bring a very fresh, forward-thinking, trend-based capability to Yahoo. More importantly, it's proven once again now that we have heads of HP and IBM and now Yahoo being women, we are definitely seeing how women are impacting the world's dynamics, and that's exciting, and that's very exciting. And each and every one of us, whether, you know, we're teenagers or where baby boomers really need to kind of applaud that, leverage it, learn from it, and see how what they're pursuing is in a— something that could be learned or something that could be taken as far as what you want to do in your life to pursue whatever those goals are. You might never wish to be a CEO of a company, let alone a company like that, At the same time though, relevant to our conversation today, they found a way to push through naysayers, haters, insecurities of their own, uncertainties about, you know, where these— where this path they're going is going to take them. And instead of falling victim to it, they just continue to push, push, push, push. That's the only way they— any of those women or any of us accomplish what we want in life is to kind of turn our backs to the naysayers and haters and to our fears and our bitches that consume our head and heart at times and just go for it regardless of the outcome, or maybe because of the potential outcome. Not to say those women, just like any of us, no matter how powerful, how wealthy, how to-do we are, every one of us deal with our own bitches, and I'm sure they have their own. If you were to get them into a private conversation, you would probably learn too that not only have they overcome things, but they probably have situations and circumstances that drum up their own little bitches in their head and their heart. So none of us are— well, very few of us are purely self-actualized. To the point of never feeling any of that ugliness within ourselves. So it's just a matter of how do we deal with it and what do we learn from it and how do we use it to propel us into the future or toward our goals, toward the riches in life that we want. So I applaud all of those and I look forward to watching the progress of Marissa at Yahoo! Although I'm a Google fanatic, I am, I live on Google day in, day out, constantly researching, constantly, you know, digging in for content and things that can be leveraged within my own world. If Yahoo came out with a different hook or a different value proposition, I think there's room for them just like there's room for, you know, multiple players in a specific arena. Arena, so to speak. I mean, geez, look at it. I'm in the personal development, personal and professional development coaching education world. You know, if there isn't a more competitive, more saturated or oversaturated arena, it's that arena. And yet I think that there's a place for everybody because there's people for everybody. And there's people that aren't for everybody, and therefore I speak a lot to other coaches and consultants and educators about, you know, just finding that hook, finding that differentiation, and then targeting those individuals that, you know, that complement them, because there's somebody for everybody. Just like, you know, I talk about men, you know, there's a man out there for me sooner or later. He'll find me, I'll find him. You know, there's more fish in the sea. Be for everybody. So anyway, I digress there a little bit. But okay, so on to our subject today. And keep in mind, you can always reach out and call into 1-818-572-2910 and talk to me directly. We could chat up on BlogTalkRadio.com/shittingthebitch in our chat room if you care to kind of stay a little bit anonymous. I'm not— I never I'm not even going to retry it, but you know what I mean. And then of course you can always go to Facebook or to our blog site at shuttingthebitch.com and leave comments and feedback or suggestions or, or anything in regards to our conversation today. And you'll see too, as we go forward, we're going to be blending our conversations throughout all of our social platforms platforms. So what we talk about on the radio is going to then be extended into Facebook and onto the blog and out into Twitter and within the forums within sheddingthebitch.com and all kind of engagements that we have together. So if you don't have the opportunity to contribute live on the radio show, you can then find ways to contribute through multiple channels. Throughout the Shedding the Bitch community. Okay, so before I also dive into our subject for today, keep in mind I've been promoting the idea of having you contribute and collaborate and support one another, and by doing so, I'm rewarding you with gifts each month. And so as you engage on the, on the radio show, within the blog, or on Facebook, or in many, many ways that that we're going to be reaching out to you. You're going to be put into a drawing where each month we award gifts. And last month, a number of you, 4 or 5 of you, received my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. This month is a basket of goodies such as we have Shedding the Bitch t-shirt and little, you know, warm little cozy socks and a wristband and a few other surprises. I'm not going to give it all away. So all that takes is to find a way to contribute and mostly join our community at ShittingTheBitch.com and become part of the Richie community, of which then definitely you'll secure a place in that drawing, which this month it's July 27th and the announcement will be right around August 1st time period. Okay. All right, so our subject today is what is it gonna take you to decide once and for all to let go and shed any of that, you know, angst or insecurity, fear, pain, feeling of rejection, low self-worth, negativity, whatever it is, whatever your bitch is. What is it gonna take it take for you to let it go and push through it so you can, even in small little steps, pursue the goals and the dreams you have. So let me give you an example of what I mean. Just yesterday, I had a conversation with someone, my client, and she has been struggling with a number of things, but one of those— I won't say basic things and certainly not simple But one of those things is even giving up smoking. Now, being an ex-smoker myself, which she found hard to believe when I told her, but I was a smoker since the age of 8. Don't tell my mother. But, you know, my brothers and sisters used to hide underneath my next-door neighbor's— I don't know what you would call it— under their porch. We had a word for it, but, you know, they had this area under the porch, and because because basically their whole family smoked, us stealing some of their, you know, mother's or brother's cigarettes and going under there and smoking, they would have never really found that to be strange that there was, you know, kind of the smell of smoke around because of the fact that there were so many of them smoking. Now why I say so many of them, if you've been part of the show, you, you probably already know that I'm one of 11, or I'm sorry, I don't even know how many. I'm one of 12 children. Our next-door neighbors had 13. So, and there was 9 boys and 4 girls. And their ages were— there was a number of them that were significantly older than my oldest brother. So my oldest brother is in his late 50s, and so I think there's a few of them in their, in their 60s. So there was you know, a good number of people not only to play with but to get into trouble with. And so there I was, you know, 8 years old, hiding underneath, underneath the cubbyhole. That's not what we used to call it, but hiding underneath that or in the fort that we built in the back of our garages, puffing away on cigarettes. So yes, you know, 8 years old is a tad young to be doing that, but but hey, you know, that's what it was. So from 8 to my early 40s, I was a smoker. Now I had worked, you know, for years kind of weaning off. I would stop smoking in my car, stop smoking in my, you know, house, stop smoking at work. But anyway, but giving up smoking, not just from the physical aspects or even the physiological aspects, but from the mental bitch aspects is hard because it is a crutch. It is something that you, you know, you kind of fall back on when things get tough. No different than smoking or pills or drugs or anything else, or eating too much, or whatever other addiction people have. And a lot of times, kind of the bitches that we have turn into addictions, whether that's things that are really detrimental to us, like, you know, and can threaten the lives of others, like drinking and driving or doing drugs, so forth and so on. Or it's just things like overeating, and therefore we do damage to our health. And so she asked me, she was, how did you do it? How did you give it up? Because I told her I just gave it up kind of in one day, and that, that's kind of, that's kind of misleading because because like I said, I was weaning for such a long time. But there was a day that I woke up. I had moved into my home, my latest home, and I woke up. I didn't smoke in my house. I always kind of hit up, you know, went to the front of the stoop outside my house or in the back. But I woke up and I just was tired of kind of having a gaspy voice. Now granted, this is my deep deep husky voice, but at the same time I would, you know, I started to kind of lose it as a result of smoking. I was getting tired of the smell that I could even, you know, smell on myself and other people. I was tired of how it was making my skin feel and look, and I, you know, all of a sudden I was just tired of smoking. And in one day I just decided that I wasn't doing it anymore, and I didn't. I mean, granted, I had done the patch over the years, and I did, you know, quit for a week or a month at a time, and then I would always fall back to it. But that has been my, you know, my last and final time that I smoked, and I haven't even desired it ever since. And I have no plans to, because I also go back and reflect on kind of how it was, how I physically felt at the time. Now, I don't know what mental adjustment was made, obviously just to the fact that I was tired and I didn't need that crutch anymore. And I was explaining to Diane that I used to— for those of you watching on a video— I used to walk around with like 2 things in my hand all the time, a pen in one hand that I could, or a straw that I could kind of use as a fake cigarette, and and then, you know, when I would get bored or restless or I needed something to do with the other hand, I would, you know, drink an iced tea or a soda or water. I was more of an iced tea drinker than a soda drinker. But, you know, so I told her, I said, what is it going to take? What is it going to take? So overcoming those bitches and recognizing that you're tired of kind of carrying them around with you, you know, if it's an insecurity, if If it's feelings of rejection, if it's, you know, just hurt from an old relationship or a parent or a friend, if it's fear of getting into a relationship or a fear of success, which, you know, many people have, whatever that is, that doubt about what you're able to accomplish in life or the doubt that you're good enough, whatever, something has got to get you to a point where it kind of outweighs the fear, the insecurity, the doubt, or the bitch that you have. There's got to be a pain or a tragedy or situation or maybe a death or maybe an opportunity comes along that, you know, you just can't— you can't allow anything to stop you from pursuing that opportunity that's being kind of thrown in your life. And unfortunately, many of us have opportunities that come into our world and we don't even see them because we're so buried and so consumed in our heart and our head with kind of what ails us and what we're falling victim to. But what is going to get you to that point where you're no longer wanting to play that victim, you're no longer wanting to be consumed and to be buried under the weight of of that fear, insecurity, doubt, uncertainty, negativity, whatever belief system it is keeping you from what it is that you want to be doing in life. And it's going to be different from each and every one of us. Sometimes we don't think about it hard enough or honestly enough or long enough to allow it to kind of seep in and take hold We talk a lot here about looking in the mirror and being really honest and raw and naked with yourself about why are you feeling the things that you're feeling and what it— what fear, what result or consequence do you think is going to happen because, or if you were to let those go. So, you know, you really need to kind of be honest with yourself about what those things are and then really think about the reward or consequence for kind of giving it up, walking away from it, whatever the case might be. And then, you know, being able to put it aside once and for all and pursuing what you want. So one major tip I have for you is to really, if you want to shift If you want to change, if you want to grow, if you want to shed once and for all, then one, you have to make the decision to do it. And then two, you need to even before maybe even making the decision, you need to just spend time reflecting and digging and admitting to yourself, confessing to yourself what those things are that's created that bitch, created that mindset. That created that chain that is choking you and really kind of being real about, okay, if I was to let it go, what will happen? And even if it's a bad thing that might happen, say, you know, you're going to have to give up some friends or maybe you have to move because you can't afford it anymore, whatever the situation might be. You might need to leave an abusive relationship. Relationship, a hard relationship, a demeaning relationship, whatever the case might be. You also want to be sure that you're thinking about not only falling victim again to the pain and the hurt and the hardness of the, that decision, but you really want to also think about the reward that's going to come as a result of it. Not that it's going to be an easy reward to obtain, but it's a reward just the same. I mean, leaving a home, leaving a relationship, leaving a job, you know, leaving something behind is never easy, and it's not going to just automatically make your world better in an instance. And anybody who tells you that that's going to happen is lying to you, bottom line. It's going to be painful, it's going to hurt, it's going to create tears, it's going to create additional fears. Other bitches are going to come up into your ahead in your heart, but at the same time you're going to move that much closer to even working on, you know, not allowing those things to hold you back. So I want you to think about today, what are those things? What is it going to take you to finally decide to commit to yourself and to discover, confront, and shed all that junk in your head, in your heart, so you can once and for all let it shed away. And, and therefore you can create and accelerate anything else that you want in your life. But what is it going to take? Because you don't all of a sudden— you can influence what it's going to take, or you can just wait for it to happen. And waiting for it to happen could be tomorrow, or it could be when you're dead. And so what you need to think about is, do you want to change today, or do you want to wait and wait and wait and hope that some intervention is going to come along and, you know, push you out of whatever junk you're in? So that's our topic for today. And what I really want you to do is think about taking the pledge with us, and you can go to sheddingthebitch.com in the coming days and weeks to learn more about that. And I want you to come back every Tuesday at noon, and we'll create all kinds of dialogues and opportunities for you to share and contribute and support one another with Shedding the Bitch as a community of individuals that really want to help you shift from rich to bitch— from bitch to rich. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's good. Anyway, so this is Bernadette Boas, and for everybody at Shedding the Bitch, shifting from bitch to rich, Thank you for joining today. Check us out on our YouTube channel as well. Go to sheddingthebitch.com, become part of our Richie community, and I will see you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Thanks everybody, have a great day. Thank you for using BlogTalkRadio. Goodbye.