C-Suite Burnout - How to Up Your Game with Shruti Rustagi

Are you struggling to grow confidently in your leadership role? Are you burned out, frustrated, or uncertain about your purpose? And therefore you're asking yourself, why am I working so hard? In this episode, our guest Shruti Rastogi will break down exactly what is getting in the way of executive female leaders finding fulfillment, happiness, and their shine at work. We're gonna discuss how to overcome imposter syndrome that plagues so many of you and why having a circle of influence around you will catapult not only your career, but more so your confidence, fulfillment, and feeling of purpose in your work and life. Stay with us. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Trudy, thank you for joining me for this powerful conversation around confidence in women. How are you?

I'm doing well, Bernadette. It's a shiny day in Seattle today.

Is it? Because typically, isn't it raining in Seattle?

It is usually. So today the sun is out and it's a happy day already.

Oh, that's awesome. That's why I have a feeling every one of your days is happy because you just have that air about you. I have to say, up your game. What is it about upping one's game that you found extremely intriguing and you wanted to focus on it when it came to your work?

So usually when we think about getting ahead in our careers, we think about just working hard, being good at the technical and the functional skills, and that's it. But what I realized over time is there are 3 different things which actually made a lot of difference. Just the mindset and the attitude was one towards work, towards growth, towards others. That mindset mattered a lot. The second thing which I found was very, very important was how to build a circle of influence, if you will. Not just people who you influence, but also creating a circle of the people you get influenced by. So kind of like peer mentors and mentors. Which we often miss. And then the third important thing in all of this was just winding down and taking a macro picture, which we often don't take. We're just in it so much that we don't step back and think of like, okay, where am I headed? What is going on? What do I need 2 years from now that I need to start working towards from today?

I love that. I love that. But we're going to drill into those 3, 3 if we could. So what is it? Because we are talking about upping one's game. So what is it about mindfulness and/or mindset and attitude that women in particular are not necessarily bringing to the workplace to help them really achieve what it is that they want? What are they doing currently, but what kind of adjustment do they need to make?

Great question. So when I think of mindset and attitude, I would kind of, again, put it in kind of 3 buckets. I would say one is they're not owning their awesomeness. What that means is they may be confident of their work. Oh yeah, I'm good at this, I can do it. But do they exude that confidence in the places where it matters, in the leadership meetings, in the high visibility projects, do they raise their hands and say, yes, I'm willing to take that bet. Even if I make a mistake, that's all right. So that confidence is important, the confidence that everybody is not here to look at the mistakes that you make, but helping you grow. So I think that's one big part of the mindset. The second big part of the mindset is, Being constantly on the wheel is not going to help. So just working, working, working is not what gets you to places. Look at your peers. They network as well. They do not just sit and do. They go in the meetings, which gives them the internal grapevine, which tells them the direction the organization is going to take. That helps them pick the right meaty, meaningful projects.

Yeah.

Connect with people over beer, over wine, over whatever, smoking, anything, sports. Women often— and this is something I've seen so commonly, Bernadette Boas— that women would tell me, oh, I have to take care of my kids. I only have this much time. So when I go to office, I'm like deep and working. And I'm like, no, babe, that's not how it works. Take out that one R, socialize. You need to build those personal connects to move forward. So that's the other mindset or the attitude change.

I love.

The third mindset change, which I often tell people about, is again, just knowing that taking a break, raising your hand and saying, this is it, putting boundaries is not going to make you look like you don't want to work. In fact, that increases productivity. So women, again, and I've been there, so I've been there, yeah, with my baby in my lap, and I would be working on financial models and doing everything. I have been there, I've done that. So I know that there are times when you have to just raise your hand and say, listen, this is what I need to be efficient. Give me this. You did not.

So let me ask you a question about— well, I could ask you a question on every one of those three mindset and attitudes, but I think our viewers and listeners often will ask myself or my guests about boundaries. So, you know, because I used to be that gerbil on a wheel and constantly working, working, working to the point where I was just absolutely exhausted and having breakdowns. How does, especially as you grow in your role and you get to that middle management, C-suite level, how do you set those boundaries? What are those boundaries that they should be setting in order to ensure that they're taking care of themselves, but they're also ensuring that they're not killing themselves beyond what is necessary in the workplace?

I would say they need to ask themselves these 4 questions, right? The first one is, how does it align with their values? So for many of us, values are things we value. So I value spending time with my kids. I value just being out in the nature. Seattle is such a beautiful place for being out in the nature, right? I value that. So how are you living your values by just working constantly? The second question you need to ask yourself is, what is the value you are adding by doing that work? So for instance, women often take up the work of what I like to jokingly call office home assistant. What does that mean? All the parties that need to be arranged. Oh, how couldn't she do it? If there is no EA, or there is no assistant in the team, The offsites that need to be arranged, or planning for the offsites, what should be the themes, the scores of how we are all doing well as a team, how we are doing well as an org from a people perspective. Why does all of that fall into a woman's lap? Is that— are you adding value by doing it? And the third question, very closely connected, is that adding value to you in your resume, in your career progression? By doing that, are you just kind of people pleasing? Are you just saying, oh, my boss picked me up for this, I don't want to say no. Why not? You're not here for this. You're more skilled. You're more educated. You can help once in a while. Why should just it always fall on you?

I love that. I love that. And it's so true. How many women— come on, how many women out there, you know, volunteer to take on, you know, things that you could easily be delegating or, you not even putting your hand up and letting somebody else having to step forward. Just because we are a certain gender does not mean there are certain things we have to do. I absolutely love that.

And then the fourth question— so these were the three. The fourth question is also equally important, which is that who could do this better than me? And I could, instead of doing it, review it. This is a question women often don't ask. We put ourselves in the doer position. And specifically because you mentioned middle-level leadership, as women grow higher, they need to start putting themselves more in sponsors, in reviewers, in leaders. You work, I will review, so both our inputs are there. But I'm also making myself grow to the next level.

Can I look at it as also they need to go from tactical to strategic?

Absolutely.

You know, they need to get out of the weeds and get out of the micro and get up to— you even mentioned macro— and get up to the higher level because, you know, that's where they've elevated themselves. They've done that. They, you know, they've done that tactical and now it's— they need to pass that on and make sure they're positioning themselves in the high-value activities. Is that right?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Yeah. Because I love your questions about adding value. I mean, and adding value is, all right, is this something that is valuable in the eyes of those around me, or is it making me look as if, oh, I'm still playing assistant?

Exactly. And this, I'll just share a very small anecdote. And this is, I was like 6 years into my career. We were doing a power plant a power company acquisition, actually. They had 3 kind of power places, plants, and then other things. And I had always been the person who would build those financial models in the M&A team. And then there was one more person who my manager said, oh, he'll be building it. And suddenly, 2 days, I kept thinking, oh my God, what will I do if he's going to do this? What's my role now? And I went to my manager, and I was like, I don't know, I just feel that I don't have anything to do, and I don't like that feeling. He was like, no, you have the more important role to do now. You ask the questions that you think I would ask you. You start analyzing it from the place where your leaders are going to ask you questions. That's how you grow. And that was like the point where I figured, oh, absolutely, this is how I grow and scale.

I love that because, again, that's strategic, right?

That's strategic.

That's the next level up. Let other people do the doing and you like create. And yeah, I love that. I absolutely love that. Okay. The other one I definitely want you to dig into because that was number one of the three main things to kind of make sure that you're upping your game. You had talked about building a circle of influence and I love this subject. I love this subject. So what is your approach and what is your view on someone kind of building their circle of influence?

You know, the first thing I would say there is, ladies, use your charm. Now, you might just find it offensive almost, right? But the way I and many people in the industry define charm is how you come across as somebody who's approachable, who's likable, and who who we would do something for, that is charm. How do you build that? Because we often at workplace, we need small little favors. Oh, I need that report. I need it urgently. Could you please get that to me? This analysis needs to be done. It's a bit important. Can you please do this? There's so many times, so many things. There's so much information out there in the bigger organization which you want to have your tap on. How do you do that? You actually build genuine connections. How do you build genuine connection? Charm. So charm is very simply put, you genuinely are interested in the other people when you speak to them, listen to them, actually what they have to say, really listen, and then contribute whatever you have to. That's the first level of building those connections. Once you have the personal connection, that's when you can actually reach out to them for any professional favor. Always get it. If you just reach out to people and say, hey, I'm so-and-so from this and this org or team, can you please help me do it? Why would they do it for you? Why would you do it for them, right? So that is the very first thing in building that circle of people you can go to for questions, of people you can go to for work, for favors, for information. You have to build that network in your wider organization. This is not just your team. Very important.

Well, let me ask a question on that, though.

Sure.

Are they building their circle of influence, in your view, at their level, or are they building it at higher, more strategic levels, or all of it?

All of it. So that's what I was coming to. So this is mostly going to be your peer level, because your peers in different parts of your organization, your corporate, or your competitors, that is where you actually keep yourself street smart. So that's important, right? That's your level. Then comes the next part, which is our mentors and peer mentors. Now, our mentors, these are definitely people above our level. And please never think that I need to just have one mentor in life and that's it. You need to identify mentors for different things, different situations in life. You know, you could be new to a role, new to an organization, new to a country, anything. Or you could be taking up a project which is pretty huge, and you need to just get the brainstorming done with somebody apart from your manager. That's when you need those people. You build those relationships up. Always make sure, one tip there, whenever you're setting time with your mentor, make sure you use that time well. Like, if it is scheduled for half an hour, have 2 to 3 questions or areas you want to discuss with them ready. Whenever in your daily life you encounter situations which at that point you think, oh, this is something I want to get some inputs on, write it down so that you have these collected set of things you would want to get inputs from senior leaders. And that's when you use your conversations, your one-on-one time. Even when you meet somebody for just office happy hours, you meet some senior folks, always have one or two things ready that you would want to get their perspective on. Always. That's how you use that time. So these are your mentors. Love that. There's that. And then the third, who are you mentoring? How are you giving back? Extremely important again. Why? Because as you mentor, you keep yourself in touch with what's going on at the ground level. As you grow, that becomes increasingly important because know this, that senior leaders are not just managing projects. A big piece is managing people. Knowing what's going on underneath at the grassroots in your corporate is extremely important. Always have people who you mentor, who you can understand, you know, what's going on, where are the issues, where you can step in, resolve, make it a better place for them, help them grow, always.

Yeah, I love this. I love this. I love this. All right, but going back to number 2, mentors, what is your view on how one should go about creating or establishing that mentor relationship? And is it after one point, you know, where you're building that, using your charm to build relationships? Because I'll often get asked about, oh, can I just go and ask Joanne to be my mentor? And yet I don't even know her. So what is your thoughts about the process of when you identify who you want to have as a mentor and then how you go about establishing that?

Sure, sure, great question. So the way you should go about thinking of mentors is why do you need one? Always start with why. I mean, Simon Sinek has put it amazingly, applicable in all walks of life. So first, identify your need. Why are you even looking at having a mentor? Once you identify that, that's when you think about, okay, who best works in this case? Don't just go by names and titles and say, oh, this person, just because he's a senior leader, I want him to be my mentor. It doesn't work like that because they're going to come back and ask you, why me? What's your answer to that, right? So always go backwards. You do, why do you want them and why do you need a mentor? What are you expecting to get from them? And then who are the potential candidates? That's when you reach out to them. One small nuance here. Sometimes, who you're looking for is a sponsor. So know the difference. A mentor is going to guide you in situations where you're stuck. Oh, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tackle that. This is what I'm facing. Tell me how to go about it. A sponsor is, in addition to all of this, will be the person who will speak about you in the room you're not in. When a high-visibility, meaty project is going to be delivered, when the performance appraisals are being discussed, that person will speak about you. So you need to identify and tell them clearly, I need your help in getting to this kind of a project. I'm looking at building this skill, and hence I'm looking at getting that work. Can you please help me get something like that? Direct me in which direction I should go. Guide me. Identify your sponsors and identify your mentors. Be very clear what you're seeking from them. And reach out.

Love it. Awesome. I absolutely love all of that.

All right.

And the last one I was very intrigued with of your 3 things to up your game at work, and that's about taking the macro view or the macro picture, which you had mentioned a lot of individuals do not take the time to do. Could you drill into that a bit more?

Sure. So Many times when we talk about careers, people say, yeah, I just kept at it, and I grew, and I grew. Lots of times, people don't necessarily look a few years forward and say, oh, this is where I want my career to be headed, and this is what I want to build towards it. Even in many companies, I've seen people would say, their focus is promotions. Yeah, I want to get promoted to the next level. But do they work back and say, to be eligible for it, to actually do a good job at it, am I also thinking of the skills I need to build? Am I thinking of what kind of work should I have done to actually be the obvious choice for that promotion? You know, this is— and I think in my discussions, I have seen that Men sort of do it a little bit more. Women tend to kind of not do it.

Kind of not do it. It's true.

I need to get through this day. I need to get through this month, this year. That they're not thinking where are they heading. Yeah.

Do you have a proposed kind of schedule that they should be working on these things like at the beginning of the year, going into the year? You know, what is your approach that you coach your clients around?

I always say do a 6-monthly check-in. Anything less than that is too less because sometimes the work that you have done hasn't delivered yet. You don't see the results and anything more doesn't keep you grounded as to are you moving in the right direction? So, 6 months, every 6 months, you should just do like, you know, just take literally 30 minutes off your work. And 30 minutes, just evaluate, what did I achieve? What skills did I build? What more do I need for the next level? And that's where your mentors come in big time. Ask them, what kind of skills will be important? What kind of work or projects or deals or whichever area you're in, accounts, should I be looking at to grow? What challenges should I be solving to actually help hone my skills? Very important. We don't think in those terms. We don't think in those perspectives. And 6 months comes and goes and we are like, oh yeah, I'm doing great. And that's it. So does it also—

does it include— because what's coming up for me is, does it include almost like a skill gap assessment? This is all of my skills, and then this is what I'm being told from my mentors, my sponsors, whomever, that I need, and here's my gap. Are you proposing that they get that kind of strategic and proactive in looking at what it is that they need to be working toward?

I would say absolutely. Skill gap assessment plus result gap assessment. What results have you driven?

Right.

What are you going to say that this is what I did? Right. So there is always an internal, which is skills, and external, which is results, component to every growth.

I love that. Yeah, that's awesome. That is fabulous. All right. And what is your observation out there, especially as women are moving up the so-called ladder. What is your observations when it comes to them kind of struggling with imposter syndrome, struggling with, you know, their confidence, their self-worth? What is it and where is it stemming from? Because you would think, oh, you know, the higher they go, obviously they have no insecurities about, you know, their capability. So what are your observations around that?

I think it stems from just like that one line, I'm not good enough. That's it. That's where it stems from. And I think a lot of it has to do with us believing less in our own awesomeness, as I would call it, versus others who see us. Like, how often would you hear this line even in the movies? If you could see what I see in you, you would love yourself. And it's not just a movie cliché. It's actually very true. And deeper down, I think where it also stems from is because we do not plan ourselves to go that ladder, it for us is, oh, this happened.

Now I'm here.

Am I deserving of this? If you do the backward planning, you know why you're deserving of it. And that's what makes the circle complete. The more people you speak to, you know you're better than them, or you know where you stand, why you deserve it. The more mentors you have, the more confidence you keep getting as you're growing, or know where your gaps are. The more assessment you do, you know you have proven the results, you have the skills, you have everything you need. The only other thing I would say is the more you kind of self-reflect objectively, the more easier it becomes for you to handle the imposter syndrome.

Wait, you need to say that again because I might have even missed it.

So I meant the more you reflect, self-reflect objectively with data. Oh. This is my data that proves I deserve to be here. The more you reflect with data, the less issue it increasingly becomes for you that I'm not good enough.

Right. Well, no, I love that. So hold on. I have two things I want to ask you about where you just— where you just went to. So basically, you're also emphasizing that critical need to do that results gap, you know, because if they're tracking the results that they're getting and they're seeing their accomplishments, as much as they're seeing kind of where they still need to work on, but they're building confidence because of looking at their accomplishments. That's your point, correct?

Absolutely. Absolutely. The more you keep track of it, the more you have reason to believe, oh yes, I've done this, this, this, this in increasing order of complexity.

Right. And do you kind of coach your clients around taking an inventory of your results as you go throughout the year? So you're not having to look back and struggle, what did I do 12 months ago? But at the same time, like you're saying, they're using these assessments, so to speak, in building their confidence when they keep kind of reporting on the accomplishments they're making, whether they're small or big.

Exactly. So there are multiple ways, and different people prefer different things. Some people, I would say that you could keep a mail, like, you know, a mail that says, from one of your leaders, They would have said, oh, this was great work. We loved what you delivered. Keep that, store it in something that you call achievements in your inbox. The other way is you keep revisiting your resume or CV every 6 months because then you keep adding the skills, you keep adding the achievements in exactly the way you want to portray them.

Right.

You know, so that's the other way to do it. The third would be just journaling. If you do that on a regular basis, then journal. Journal your achievements, journal the gaps, the skills, everything. So, you know, those could be different ways, but exactly what you said, take inventory of where you were and where you are every 6 months. And trust me, you will be in an amazing spot when you actually reach where you wanted to.

Absolutely. But I want to kind of make sure I ask you about the middle one, the resume one, because people are going to go, wait a minute, I don't expect to be looking for a job. I don't need my LinkedIn profile to be updated. So what do you mean? Like, what are you actually trying to say when you're saying to keep their CV updated with all their skills and accomplishments? It's not— it's not about them looking for a job, correct?

It's not about looking for a job, but keeping your CV updated, just keeping it updated for yourself. Know what you have done. So far in life. And it's a great place because the reason I say CV is because when you have to put things in a CV, you have to be succinct, and you have to get the meat out in just that 1 or 2 lines. That really brings it out. And what it does for you is the next time you're sharing that accomplishment with someone, you already have the narrative. You already have the 2 lines which you can just directly speak.

Love that. Haven't you found, or have you found that even though they might not be looking for a job, if they're even keeping their LinkedIn profile updated, they'd be surprised as to other opportunities that proactively come to them because of their accomplishments and their, you know, kind of ongoing update of their LinkedIn profile as well.

That's a great point. Absolutely.

Yeah, I love that. I love it. Love it. All right. So then you said earlier on, and I wanted to come back to this, you mentioned whether they have a coach or a mentor. And have you found that people's attitudes are changing from you must be in trouble if you have a coach or, you know, if you've gone and found a mentor, you must be— have a performance issue? What have you observed as far as the the trend toward actually proactively having these roles in your life so they can support your growth?

Great question. So I can tell you over a journey of 9 years— so 9 years ago, I had my first coach. That's how I even got to know that there is something called coaches. And what had happened is in our talent pool, we were all kind of given an executive coach. A few of my friends, they were like, oh, I have no issues. I don't have anything to discuss with the coach. So exactly that attitude, right? And then eventually I became a coach. I started coaching, and the attitude— and this is back in India, so Asia, and then a bit of Middle East in between— it was very similar. I would send to my friends saying, you know, just spread it in your network. And they would be like, oh, but nobody has any issues to discuss with you. Now, for the last 2 years is what I can say, because I've been in the US for about 2 and a half years now. And in the last 2 years, I've seen the shift that people come to me and they're like, I'm looking to move to the next level. How do you propose we get there? And you'll be surprised, there's still so much of inner work we do. But then the objectives and the goals And the attitude is very, very different. It's about growth.

Right.

Awesome.

Yes. Thank you very much for that. Yes. Thank you. Well, and it's important. I found that it's important because I come across that perception still, you know, that, oh gosh, does that person have an issue because you're working with them? And I'm like, no, they're actually like, it's an investment in them because they, you know, people think that they can get to the next level. So I was just very curious. I'm very curious. All right. Do you have one last tip or strategy, something that our listeners and viewers could actually like just go and do today to kind of up their game at work?

The one tip and one strategy I would say is own your awesomeness through taking a skill and results assessment today.

Today.

Today. Like today. And you know, it's— somebody had once said this to me, it's great to take notes, but it's awesome to take action. So go ahead, take action. Yeah.

So it's not only taking the assessment, it's actually once you identified any of those gaps we talked about, skills or results, do something about it.

Do it. Exactly.

Yeah. Awesome. Shruti, this was great. Thank you so much for sharing all of your unbelievable wisdom and strategies and tips with us. I appreciate it. It was great.

Thank you for having me. It was such a lovely morning, Bernadette. Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome.

You're so welcome. All right, everyone. So let me remind you, please go to shrutirastagi.com. And check her out and see the type of work that she does and reach out to her if you have any type of challenge in front of you or you want to move to the next level and just want someone in your corner to kind of guide you along the way. And she's proven herself today through this conversation of all the tips and strategies and experiences that she brings to her clients. So definitely check her out there as well. Follow on LinkedIn. @shruti_rastogi, and be sure to follow her there as well. Shruti, thank you so much. What a fun and powerhouse conversation with Shruti Rastogi. We talked everything that has to do with upping your game at work, and she gave us 3 really powerful things that are happening and that you want to really pay attention to. And then we dug into each one of those 3 even more so. Getting tips and strategies for you as far as kind of really falling in love with the work that you're doing, but more so the way you're going about it. So she says that there's 3 core things you need to focus on: mindset and attitude, building a circle of influence, and really taking a macro picture of your accomplishments and your gaps. So she drilled into each one of these, talking about mindset and attitude. She went into just what you need to be doing and how you need to be showing up each and every day to ensure you have the attitude that will draw people in and help you accomplish the goals and the objectives that you have for yourself. When it came to your circle of influence, she talked about using your charm in order to really gain the support and the buy-in and the camaraderie and those connections that you need people of all levels, not only your peers, but also the people that work for you, your peers, and, and those seniors that are around you. And to make sure that you're seeking out your mentors, even sponsors, she talked about. And then lastly, she challenged our listeners, she challenged you around finding and being that mentor for others. As you're elevating yourself and upping your game, in the workplace, well, share that and be the mentor to someone else as well. It was such a great conversation, and I'd love to get your feedback, even your questions that you might have for myself or Shruti. So go to LinkedIn @BernadetteBoas and direct message me or leave it as a post to get and really understand how you could be upping your game. I am so thrilled that you were here with us this week, and I look forward to having you right back here me next week for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Thanks, have a great week.