Coach, Mentor and/or Sponsors. Their value to your life and career/business.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. And how are you on this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Tuesday, and it is the last Tuesday of the month, if you can believe February is over. And I'm just getting a note from Deborah that she can't hear. Can you hear me? Just text me if you can hear me, Deborah, because I'm not sure what might have happened to our— Oh, and now I can hear you, yes, okay. So you gotta love technology. Deborah and I were just talking about it before coming on. We were talking about the Oscars and we were talking about kind of my using Instagram or my starting to use Instagram and the fact that they reported leading up to the Oscars that all these actors and actresses, they were getting their necks in, cleavages kind of worked on and fillers used and whatnot, because the day and the age of the, you know, the cell phone and the selfie creates people sitting kind of with their heads down in their phone or their computer. And, you know, they're getting double chins and they're getting lines in their neck a lot earlier and a lot younger than they, you know, that then it has been in the past. So you got to love technology, but it does definitely have its downfalls and its pits, pitfalls and whatnot. But we're here, we're here, and we are live and happy and excited, and it's beautiful out. We were also just talking about that. Finally Atlanta at least has had the rain move through, at least till Thursday. And so I'm looking out my skylights to a beautiful, sky of sun and lack of wind. We've had a lot of wind lately as well. I hope it's beautiful and wonderful wherever you might be. This is gonna be a great conversation today. I'm very excited about it. It came as a result of last week's show. It's interesting since I've really been kind of focused on you and I having a conversation and discussion and versus— not versus— but without guests, I'll say, you have provided some insights from one show to the next as far as great topics for discussion. And so last week we were talking about shedding the stuck bitch. So we were talking about all the things that you could be doing and tips and advice for getting unstuck should you be stuck in any way, shape, or form. It could be a very minor, just today or yesterday you were stuck, could be even where I was, and I won't say continue to be, but I'm just letting the journey play itself out. If you're stuck for a long period of time and you just can't figure out how to get yourself moving and how to get yourself energized toward whatever goal or objective, or maybe you don't even have goals or objectives defined. So as a result of that conversation, One of the very last tips I had provided was about getting a coach, identifying, qualifying, and potentially hiring, not that all coaches that you might meet require a compensation. Maybe it's a friend or a colleague in your network that you reach out to for accountability and coaching. But the tip was around, getting a coach. So the next thing you know, I'm being asked, okay, so what is a coach? What areas do they focus on? And what is the difference between— and I get this a lot— so what's the difference between a coach and a mentor? And then since I am also a consultant, I'm often asked what the difference is between a coach and a consultant. And then especially those of you in corporate, a good majority of you are even unaware of sponsors and having a sponsor and identifying a sponsor. And I do a lot of what I'll call VP, C-level executive coaching, and even, you know, I'm never surprised when they also kind of question me about what is a sponsor and how do I go about finding them. So I thought today would be a great time to have that conversation. We're early in the year. You have an opportunity to kind of recognize and learn what the difference is between all of them, what each one of them, their roles and responsibilities are to you as a potential client, and how you can benefit and what value they bring to your life and career or business. So we'll do that. That's the conversation for today, but before we do, I mentioned our last week's episode, Shed the Stuck Bitch. We've also had great conversations about finding love within yourself, and then as a result, within your life, if you feel as if you're just not quite connected with who you are and the love that you'd love to, you know, be able to find within your world. And then prior to that, we had Ask Me Anything. And we talked about a variety of business and life questions, everything from potentially recognizing abusive relationships. Maybe you're in one, maybe you know someone that might be emotionally or physically being abused. We also had conversations about just simply, you know, what do you need as far as business plans, goals, action plans? For your business or career and a number of other subjects. So that was our Ask Me Anything episode at the beginning of the month. And then of course, one of our most popular ones this year, which we're only 2 months into it, was Shedding the Excuses, bitch. And a number of us, especially those that are stuck, one way of identifying if you're stuck is if you're making a lot of excuses not only to other people but to yourself as to why you are doing what you're doing or not doing what you should What's he doing? And then before that we had my birthday episode. My birthday happened to fall exactly on a Tuesday when we broadcast, and I offered up 3 autographed copies of my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, for just going out onto Facebook and saying hello. And that's continuing, so if you'd like to just go out to Facebook or Twitter and go to Shedding the Bitch, our pages, then just do a shout out to us. But if you do have a question, story, or challenge you'd like me to address, feel free to pose that as well, and I'll be sure to reach out to you and get you an autographed copy of my book. All right, so let's talk, at least introduce the subject of coaches, consultants, mentors, and sponsors, and I'm going to walk through each one of those, and actually I'm going to somewhat go backwards from sponsors down to coaches, or across to coaches, I should say. But the rich question I want you to be thinking about during this discussion is, in what area of your life could you use professional support? Maybe you need a sounding board, someone just to bounce ideas off of and get tips, advice, strategies, techniques, or tips that they might use. Maybe you need, specific advice. You're having a challenge or a situation at work with a boss, with a colleague, with a teammate, maybe, or maybe you have just simply wanting to proactively look at, you know, your next step in your career ladder or business ladder. Maybe there is something going on in your own business that you need some support or advice on. Or any areas of your life. There is a coach out there for you, or a mentor, or a consultant, but what area of your life could you use some support, some sounding board, some advice? Think about that as we have a conversation, and you'll learn kind of what the differences are between all of them, but also how do you identify them, qualify them, and then engage them in helping you in whatever areas you need help. So what area of your life could you use professional support in. And then rich tag if you want to have a conversation, if you want to collaborate with us on Facebook or Twitter, you can use the hashtag BizCoach or LifeCoach, and hashtag is always #ShedTheBitch. We're going to take a commercial break. I'm going to let all that kind of settle in with you, give you an opportunity to think about that question of what area of your life could you use professional support. And again, it's your life, your career, and/or your business. And we'll be right back to dive into the conversation. Talk to you in a minute.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com www.facebook.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. Excuse my coughing or hacking during the commercial. All of a sudden something got into my throat. All right, let's have this conversation. What— who are and what is the difference between coaches, consultants, mentors, and sponsors. And like I mentioned at the intro, I'm going to kind of work backwards only because, you know, we're going to work from kind of depending upon where you are in your career. We're going to work from the sponsors, which are at the highest level, I'll call it, of the hierarchy. So to speak. And then we're gonna walk across, let's call it across as opposed to down, across to coaches. 'Cause that then entails a lot of discussion in regards to the various areas of your life that you could hire a coach for or engage a coach in, whereas sponsors are typically within the corporate environment. So it's more kind of streamlined. So let's start with sponsors. So sponsorship, or sponsors, is usually a one-on-one relationship that you have with them.

It's—

whereas there's other mentors, consultants, and, and coaches who could work with in groups of people, a sponsorship is a one-on-one. And I have to emphasize right off the bat, all of these roles require a degree of relationships. So I'll leave it at that, but say that sponsorship is really a very deep, trusted relationship. Because the biggest difference to all of those roles— and a sponsor is— a sponsor is definitely someone in your circle, immediate circle, who you've built a relationship with. Over time, but they're also someone of influence, status, or power within your organization. So, say you're an entry-level individual, and not to say entry-level individuals can't build relationships and have a sponsor throughout their entire career. I would have to argue that early in my career, though we, you know, then went on our separate ways. One of my first bosses definitely stayed in my life, in my career for quite a while. And yes, they were a mentor to me, but I would also say that it developed without a formal agreement of any kind, but it developed into a sponsorship because as we both went in on our different paths, she continued to have influence and continued to advocate and talk for me, I'll say, throughout— in that early part of my career. So not only is it a one-on-one relationship, but it is someone of influence, status, and power within your organization. Because the key thing about a sponsor that I tell individuals, different than any other role, is these individuals will advocate and talk about you, for you, and in advancement of you when you're not in the room. And why I emphasize when you're not in the room is we always want that individual who, when going into decision-making meetings, conversations, off-the-cuff networking, they have you in mind. They, you know, based on the conversation that they might be involved with, whether it's about new projects, new assignments, new people coming in or out of the company, advancements, raises, bonuses, incentives, whatever the case might be, they have, they have you top of mind in those conversations. But, and, and because of the fact that they have influence, status, and power, they are in the room, they are at the table. They are with the decision makers who are responsible for deciding who, what, when, and where when it comes to a person's position and movement within a company. And this individual— excuse me— he or she will recommend you not only for advancements or raises, but also recommend you to go in and learn new skills. A big one, for instance, is a lot of companies have leadership programs, not only for high potentials, which high potentials are those entry-level or junior-level, maybe 3- to 5-year-level associates, employees who have, you know, potential for advancement within the company, for advancement to contribute greatly into the company, for advancement in developing themselves personally and professionally in benefit, not only to the individual and their group, but also to the company as a whole. So they definitely, you know, would recommend you for leadership programs, for professional development training programs that either within the company or outside the company is funded. And supported by the leadership, by the totality of the company. This individual, though, that you have first met and then you've built a relationship for, and they've gotten to know you and what your goals and ambitions are, but they've also gotten to know your capabilities, and they've gotten to know your— desire and willingness to advance and to do the work that needs to get done. They are also not only advocating for you and including you in the conversations on key decisions, but they're also within the company or outside the company— maybe it's in the industry or even outside the industry in some cases— they're also making connections for you. So, like I mentioned, one of my past bosses, mentor sponsors outside when I, you know, as I mentioned, went on my own path and she went on her own path, would also keep me in mind for introductions to people of influence within the new industry I went to. I started in pretty much retail, brick and mortar, and then corporate, and then eventually moved into technology. Be it retail technology, and then as I advanced into more general technology consulting type of roles, there's opportunities for a sponsor to follow you through your career and have that influence, make those introductions, and advocate for you. And of course, from that you can just— you know, you can just conclude what the value and the benefit is to you. But quite honestly, it's not a one-way street. The benefit is also to the sponsor and also to the company. And what I mean by that is those that play a role of sponsor, just as in these other roles too, but they get great pleasure out of supporting and helping and upleveling the next— I'll call it generation of professionals. So it's not just that the individual being sponsored benefits from advancements and raises and new assignments and whatnot, but the individual sponsor themselves is getting great benefit from just watching the growth and the development and the advancement and the change and transformation of that individual they were sponsoring as they go throughout their career. So that's really where a sponsor comes in. Now a sponsor, being that they are at the highest level of influence, status, and power, they're not the easiest people to get access to and/or to build that relationship with. And mind you, there is a trap that you can fall into that should you just assume that you can quickly make an introduction and ask for a sponsorship type of relationship with someone, that could kind of— you know, smack you in the face. Sponsorships being at the highest level, as I mentioned, that requires a great deal of investment on both parts, but also that individual who wants that sponsorship. Because that sponsor, you know, is entrusting your capability, your potential, your dedication and commitment to an advancement, they're, you know, putting that you are going to be a great representation, that if they go and put their reputation on the line by recommending you, referring you, advocating for you, that you follow through on what it is that they're going to bat for you on. So don't assume that you can quickly, you know, meet someone of influence within your organization build a relationship, or get a relationship, I'll call it, meaning that you've known each other for a few months, even just a year, and all of a sudden you could ask them regarding a sponsorship. It takes a deeper, more engaging, more supportive, you know, what are you doing for them, that sponsor that you want, what is it that you're able to contribute to them while you're demonstrating your capability, your willingness, your commitment, your dedication to, to your current role. And that's important because, you know, someone doesn't want to necessarily sponsor someone who is so ambitious that they're just consumed with their own climb up the ladder. You know, they have to be inclusive and they have to be, you know, willing to do the work for not only themselves but everybody around them. You have to really consider what sponsorship roles are and what they mean, but also the individuals that you are kind of identifying as potential sponsor. And then work really hard on that building of a relationship, engagement, collaboration. And then you will know, and/or they will tell you, when it is a good time for you to then bring up the subject of sponsorship. And a lot of times, You don't need to. I never needed to have to necessarily go to anyone and say, oh, will you be my sponsor? It will naturally, that individual observing you and watching you and assessing you maybe even, maybe they're part of your review process, they choose on their own to sponsor and advocate and refer you. But other times it could be that that's your particular goal and that what you want from that individual, and you might have that conversation with them. So that's really what and where a sponsor would come into play. I'm going to jump to consultant as we get into the mentor and the coaches, or before we get there, because the biggest question I get is what's the difference between a consultant and coach, and can consultants be coaches and can coaches be consultants? So let me kind of clarify the consultant. Consultants are typically, well, I'll say 100% of the time actually, they are very task execution oriented. Now they could be generalists, so they might have a kind of a broad scope of expertise and experience and skill set that a company engages in order to fill a gap maybe within their own organization or maybe to enrich or enhance a team or a project specifically. It could be an individual contributor role or it could become part of, part of a team, but they're very functional task, skillset-driven type of roles. And they typically are assigned particular actions and deliverables and results, as opposed to something that's more nebulous and more abstract, which is more of a mentor and a coach. But consultants are typically looked for, for their specific expertise and, and skill set. Could be technical, technically focused, but it also could be strategic, and it also could be very tactical. So technical would be if someone, you know, has purely technology type of skills or something, you know, a specific manufacturing or operational type of skill. It could be strategic in that there's consultants that work on vision and business plans and strategic plans for companies or entrepreneurial type of ventures. And then tactical could be that they go in and they get their hands dirty in a particular area of focus. Now, to answer the question about can consultants be coaches or coaches be consultants, my observation and my experience has been that there are consultants that can be coaches.

But I—

and a good many of them, especially from a leadership type of role and responsibility, many consultants make great coaches. But many consultants, because, you know, the definition that I gave you, being very tactical, being very technical, aren't always necessarily great coaches simply because they're so far into the weeds, and coaches really take I don't want to call it a hands-off, but they're not necessarily executors of a given task or skill. So you definitely would want to kind of be careful about whether or not, you know, consultants can be coaches. Now, I have found that many coaches aren't necessarily great consultants because they don't have a particular skill set or a particular area of expertise that's needed to be executed on. So you would want to definitely— say you come across a consultant and you're wondering whether or not they could coach you on your personal or professional development skills and development goals. You would definitely want to up-level, what I'll call up-level the conversation with them, the qualifying interview or discussion with them to find out whether or not they have the skills of a coach, which we'll get into in a minute. But you can always do that. And at the same time, if you are working with a coach and all of a sudden maybe in your team or your business you said, oh wow, you know, I recognize that they really are very expert in marketing or in sales, or maybe they're good operational people. I wonder if they have that deep tactical, technical knowledge that I would need to fill this gap that we have, and maybe they can make a great consultant for us as well. I will tell you, I've gone into companies as specifically their leadership or executive coach and landed up being there for, you know, a year and, you know, average 3 years. As a consultant because as a coach working with them from a leadership role, maybe the CEO or the COO or maybe a senior VP, and then all of a sudden they recognize the operational process-driven expertise that I have and background and experience, and they say, "Oh, could you help us with our business plan or our strategic plan?" And I do, so I'm now converting into a consultant. And then they'll say, "Oh, well, you're really good, very operational. Can you help us execute?" this plan. And then the next thing you know, you know, I'm getting even deeper from a consulting role. So what was expected to be a short-term coaching role moved into a longer-term consulting role. Now, a lot of times I will tell you that once, you know, someone gets in deep as a consultant, it can get tricky being— them then maintaining their coaching role. 'Cause now they're almost like an employee, although they're contractual, and now they might be getting too in the weeds to be one's coach. So it's just a matter of trying to work with them for a period of time and understanding kind of where their strengths and areas of improvement, I'll call them. Are and what role they can successfully play for you as you need them to. But not to say that it can't happen. And it's just a matter of really knowing that person. Now I will tell you— well, I mentioned it with the consultant, so I'll wait for the coaching because they could be long-term or short-term as well. All right? So those are sponsors and consultants. And hopefully— and obviously, let me finish up. I apologize. Let me finish up by saying there's great value and benefit to also identifying a consultant, maybe in both your career corporately or if you have your own business, because again, they're filling gaps. They're enriching a team. They're providing you maybe outside, third-party, unbiased type of viewpoints, insights, experience, and expertise. So there's great value and benefits of also engaging a consultant within your area of focus. All right, all right, now we will take a break, and when we come back, we'll finish up with how does then a mentor and a coach fall into play within your life and/or your career business. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate expert-sized clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. This week we are talking talking about the various supporting roles that can contribute to your plan, whether it's your life plan, a career, or maybe you own your own business, and also yourself individually, your performance and your behavior or your approach to your life or business career. So we've talked about sponsors and consultants and the differences and the value and the benefit of the two of them, and the next two I want to talk about are mentors and coaches. And again, these two get very muddy for individuals, but hopefully I'll provide some clarification for you and delineation, and you can decide if and whom you might benefit having a relationship with in some way, shape, or form. So, Bernadette Boas. A mentor— many of you probably have had a mentor at some point in your life. You just never put that label on them because they're someone you have a one-on-one relationship with. But a mentor also could have a group of individuals and/or work with a group of individuals. So maybe this individual comes into a company and provides mentors— or provides mentoring to a group of people at the same time. But someone in your own life, you know, could also pull a group together and provide mentoring to a group of individuals. So it can be one-on-one or it could be within a group. But like I said, many of you probably have had a mentor at some point in your life and you just, you know, didn't recognize it as that. Maybe it's a parent or even a sibling. I happen to have had both. I have siblings that act as my— not act, but are my mentor, even though they might not even know that. And definitely I leveraged my father, but I've also had teachers. I've also had sports coaches that played a mentoring role. And then, of course, professional mentors that weren't tagged as a mentor, but built a relationship with them to where then establish that type of relationship. So what does that relationship look like? Well, typically, a mentor is someone who is, you know, more advanced, more expert or experienced within a skill set or in an industry or a community. They might have, you know, and most likely do have more influence. Than you do at this point in time in a particular area of focus, a company, an industry, or a community. And what you're doing is you're reaching out to them because you either experience and recognize that there's a gap within your own skill set, personally or professionally, and you are leaning and looking forward to someone to provide you some of their insights, experiences, some of their lessons, learned, best practices, some of their gotchas, some of their connections, some of their influence, of course, always can come into play. But mainly, they specifically transfer their knowledge, their experiences, their expertise to you as a means of advancing you individually, which then your new skill set and experience contributes to a team or a company. Now, a mentor— a formal mentorship relationship, it doesn't necessarily have to be contractual, meaning that you put things in writing, you know, of what that arrangement or what that relationship looks like. It could be, again, it could be just the relationship that you've established with someone. But it also could be very well-defined, contractual. Maybe it is professionally where you've hired someone to be a mentor. But regardless of that arrangement and agreement, so to speak, it is all based on the mentoree's goals and objectives that they have for themselves. So an individual like yourself may say, "Okay, so I'd love to engage or identify, qualify, and engage a mentor because I have a particular goal or objective." I want to learn a new skill. I want to get a promotion or a raise. I want to advance. I want to be well-known or influential and established within a company or an industry. And therefore, you look to someone that is already where you want to be. Maybe they're even further from that because I always believe that you want to mentor and coach up. Meaning you always definitely want to find someone that is in a more advanced status, position, place in their career, business, or life than you are. You certainly— when it comes to mentoring, you're not looking for someone who's equal to you. You're looking for someone purposely that is more influential, more expert, more experienced than you are. If in any way, shape, or form you're kind of reacting with a kind of a blah type of gut feel in regards to this conversation when it comes to finding people that are more advanced and more expert and more experienced than you are, then you're not ready to be mentored. And what I mean by that is there are some people who, you know, they're comfortable within their peer set. You know, they're comfortable in networking and hanging out and learning from the people that are, you know, equal to them. They get intimidated or their self-worth comes into question when it comes to up-leveling themselves. So all I would tell you in that regard is everything that we're talking about today definitely requires a degree or pure, but let's say a degree of self-worth, confidence, ambition—and that's not a bad word, ambition—and desire to want to move forward. And that's what you're looking for in that mentor. You're looking for that person who, you know, at a level higher than you are with experience and expertise you don't have that you want and that you're willing to do the work to get there. Now, mentors are typically long-term type of relationships. Relationships. Certainly you could say, okay, for the next 6 months I want to find a mentor and learn from them and blah, blah, blah. Yet at the same time, they're traditionally longer-term relationships. I have several mentorees that aren't even— I'll call them non-clients, so I don't expect a fee of any kind. Even though I am a professional mentor/coach. I've just kind of taken them under my wing over the years, and I continue to be very interested and very invested in their growth and their advancement, whether it's in their life or their professional career. So, you know, it's definitely somebody that you look up to. That you respect, you admire, that you trust, and we'll talk about all of that kind of in a summary of all of these roles because they require— they each and all require that as well. Let's see. A mentoree, when they approach someone that they want to have as a mentor, have to be totally accountable to their own investment in this relationship. They have to go to the mentor with a very clear idea of what it is that they want to accomplish. What is their goal or their objective for engaging this individual in a mentoring type of relationship? If it— if the mentoring didn't come naturally and you're specifically, consciously looking to identify and qualify someone to be your mentor, that's all okay. And a lot of times it happens just like that. Well, you need to ensure that for that mentoring yourself, you are very clear on what the expectations are. You know, you want to be able to sit down across from that individual that you most likely have a relationship with. You may not, and therefore you kind of tell them that you're looking to get to know them and to learn from them. Though, you know, at some point in the future you would also like to, you know, have a well-defined mentoring relationship with them. But you need to be the one going to the table with everything thought out, with everything defined, with that expectations of what you bring to the table and what you're looking for from them. Now, don't be surprised when it comes to a mentor or a sponsor that should you ask them to formally and consciously engage in that type of relationship, do not be offended if they say no. Do not be offended. And why I say that is there are times where someone will say, I don't have the cycles, I don't have the time, I don't think we're a good fit. And you, you know, don't kind of take that personally. Because what they might really be saying, though they're not using the exact words, is they might be saying, "I would not have time to legitimately and respectfully contribute. I would not be able to devote time that you're looking for, or the thought process, or the input or expertise that you're looking for," for any number of reasons. But it's not about you personally. Now, someone might say— and I've had this myself, both from on the giving and receiving end— I've had to say, "You know, I don't believe we're a good fit. You might be needing somebody who is X, Y, and Z, and that's not me." But, again, you don't want to take it personally. You don't want to all of a sudden shut down and not go continue looking for that individual that is, you know, that you're looking to help advance you. You just need to understand that there could be a lot going on in their world. There could be a lot of changes that they're going through themselves. They don't have the time and/or they know that it's not a good fit. And that's all okay. All right? So that could be a mentor or sponsor. Heck, even consultants. You know, you might identify a consultant you think you want to work with and then, you know, they even don't have the cycles, don't have the availability, or they don't feel that that, you know, your project or your company is a good fit for them. And, again, you don't want to be taking these things personally and shutting down as a result of those nos. You just want to respect the fact that they identified that and, you know, they are giving you an opportunity to make sure you find the right fit for them, all right? But, again, a part of that— going to them with a very clear idea of what it is that you're looking to achieve and what the expectations are. You know, what it is that you want to achieve is specifically what are the goals and objectives that you have. How are you going to measure your success? How are you going to measure the success of the relationship that you're looking for? You are accountable to all of that. You're then accountable to showing up. You're accountable to scheduling those sessions or interactions. You're responsible as the— mentoree for any type of follow-through or any type of action plans that the mentor has provided you as guidance, tips, advice, or strategies that you could be taking on. So a mentor is extremely valuable in filling those gaps or enriching those skill sets or making those connections or that— or having that influence. But it really is your responsibility— excuse me— to ensure that that relationship is well taken care of. And, you know, trust me, your mentor, who obviously is more advanced, more skilled, more experienced, an expert than you are, they'll tell you if it's working for them or not or if you're doing the work or not. And that's their role as well, and that's the expectation you need to have. From them as well. Excuse me, I'm so sorry, but I'm not going to take a break because I just noticed the time and I do want to get into coaching. But before I move off of mentoring, but another expectation you should have as a mentoree and why you're going to this individual who's more skilled, more experienced, more expert, more influential, is you're looking to them for their honesty, for their bluntness, for their direction. Yes, their guidance and their motivation and inspiration and support, but you also have to have an expectation that they're going to tell you things that you're not going to want to hear. They're going to point out your strengths, but they're going to also point out your flaws. They're going to point out your areas of improvement, uh, what I call beauty marks and warts. And that's an expectation you should have of them, but then you need to be prepared to be able to take on that input and that feedback and make change, make shifts, do the work, have the commitment, and, you know, get that relationship where you want it to be and get yourself and your goals achieved. All right. So lastly, coaches, and coaching has become very— well, it's always been broad, but it's also become very what I'll call side load. There's a lot of areas that you can engage a coach, and there's a lot of specific type of coaches and expertise that could be of value to you. So coaching is very performance-driven. As opposed to consultants, which are very skillset, tactical, functional-driven. Coaching is very much about your performance, about your behavior, about your presence, about your interactions, your communications. And it can be either/or, personal or professional. So there's a lot of life coaches out there. There's a lot of health coaches. There's a lot of fitness coaches. There's a lot of finance coaches, spiritual coaches. You can find pretty much a coach in, you know, any area and all areas of your personal life. But then there's a lot of professional type of coaches. You can find a public speaking coach, a marketing coach, a general business management coach, or an executive leadership type coach, and an entrepreneurial-specific coach versus one that knows the corporate corporate ins and outs and, you know, can coach someone's corporate career. They can focus on one or more areas that I just mentioned. So now there could be a health coach that also focuses on you spiritually, mentally, physically as part of that health coaching. There could be business coaches, and predominantly all business coaches have to engage from a life coaching perspective, meaning, you know, who you are mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, all has a part to do with your success in business. However, the person who is coaching you from a mental, emotional, spiritual, physical fitness, health-wise, may not have business expertise. So though a business coach definitely deals on the life side, the life coaches may not be business-driven experts with the expertise and experience you need as a coach. So you definitely want to be able to interview and qualify those delineations. All right, so coaches can cross-train areas, but then there's, you know, coaches that definitely like to stay in their lane, as they say. If they're health coaches, they don't get into your business. If they're fitness coaches, they don't get into your personal relationships type of area of focus. So they could be siloed and/or crossed areas. Now coaches, what their core role is in any of those areas is to really observe you in that space. Now it doesn't mean that they're sitting next to you and necessarily watching you perform a task or watching you at the gym or watching you, you know, in your focus spiritually or in the business, but they are asking the questions and they're listening and observing, and it can be done face-to-face or on the phone. They could all do this. Observing you in such a way that they can then give you feedback on that observation, give you tips, give you strategies to use, give you the gotchas and the adjustments and tweaks that you need to make. In whatever it is that they're observing. So let me give you some examples in case that may be confusing to you. So— excuse me— so over the years that I've been coaching, I've covered the gamut. I'm very business-focused, so, you know, I can help as a business coach someone to start, manage, and grow their business. Really observe them from an execution of being a CEO. I'm not doing the executing, that individual is. And I'm giving them observations, feedback, ideas, insights, tips, specific guidance toward them in that role. As well, I also have had and been brought into companies because an individual is acting out or behaving in a very abrupt, curt, or even bullying type of manner. And therefore, I'm being asked to observe and really dig into them personally to understand why they're acting like that professionally. So that's where, as I mentioned earlier, where many coaches, they have to get into both personal and professional aspects of an individual because we're not robots. We're all human. So, you know, when you're brought into any kind of business, whether corporately or entrepreneurially, to look at or work with an individual, yes, you're working with them professionally, but their personal life is going to play a huge part and role within that. Now I'll be honest with you. As someone that definitely had leadership behavioral type of issues myself while I was in corporate, when I really learned and came aware only in the last 10 years of how much my, you know, what goes on between my ears plays in how I executed and then led professionally, I was just absolutely stunned. Actually, I was kind of physically thrown to the floor. And just got like an oh my God, gotcha, or aha moment because we don't think about it. You know, we're so rushed in life and we're so almost robotic in life that we really don't pay attention to how our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions play to how we're actually acting out or acting in the world. So, and that's for a whole other conversation, but that is what key is, what the key thing is about coaches. That's their job is to, whether it's professionally in a business or a career, their role is to observe that individual, how they're acting, how they're communicating, how they're, you know, responding. How they're listening, to observe all of that and provide them insights and tips and strategies for how they can improve upon them. All right. So I've worked with people, like I mentioned, who are, you know, working on their CEO or business building capabilities. I've worked with individuals that have been bullies. In the workplace and how to transform that into being very productive leaders. Who have pure, who have simply communication issues. Maybe they're not great communicators, and I don't mean public speaking. I mean they don't really don't think about what, and people are interpreting it in a wrong way. And therefore they're offending or they're causing people to shut down. Or they're simply not being able to influence, you know, someone or a group of people to do what needs to get done or to understand what it is that they're saying. So they're purely having communication issues. And maybe they need— and this I've been surprised at over the last 8 to 10 years of coaching— Because I, you know, you always look at leaders of business or industry, you're looking at them and thinking that they're great socializers. They're great in interacting and engaging with other people, whether it's employees or underlings or their peers or their people advanced from them, and yet it, you know, doesn't surprise me anymore, but I get a lot of calls, and there are a lot of my 911 calls of my clients and/or just friends that I mentor, and they're going into a social situation, whether it's a business function or an industry event or a conference or a board meeting, and they're not comfortable with how to you know, first socialize before they get down to business. So if you ever see that person that walks into a room and they just sit right down and they want to get back in, you know, they want to get right into business and they are not able to talk about, you know, what they did over the weekend or their family or their children or, you know, ask you questions that are similar, they, you know, they have a difficult time socializing. They just feel awkward in those type of environments. Whether it's strangers and/or people that they're acquainted with. So it's not a— it's not just left to, you know, people that are so-called introverts. It's just people that aren't really comfortable and they feel somewhat awkward in meeting new people and/or having to talk with their superiors or whatever the case might be. So you could be coached on that. And then of course coaches are definitely working with people who need accountability. So say you're a high-producing individual and you've got great ambitions and great goals, but they're all in your head. They're not written down. You don't have action plans against those goals, and so you just kind of fumble through your day, which turns into your week, which turns into your month, and then your year, and at the end of the year you're wondering why you haven't gotten where you wanted to be. And I was shocked, I was shocked when I first came out from corporate and I coached entrepreneurs, CEOs, and 99.9% of them did not have well-defined goals on a piece of paper. It was all in their head. So that is really where you want to leverage a coach. From an accountability perspective. But there's a whole range of ways that you can engage a coach and why you should engage a coach. And the value that they're gonna bring to you is tremendous because you're going to achieve the goals that you want. You're gonna get where you wanna go and where you're planning. And you're gonna make the changes and the shifts and the transformations to make you a better person who loves and adores you. So those are the values and the benefits coaches, mentors, consultants, and sponsors can bring into your world. And I'm going to post a longer article of each of these and tips and whatnot for engaging them on sheddingthebitch.com, so be sure to check them out. But for now, Ask Bernadette is next week, so post your questions, stories, or challenges on Facebook or Twitter, and I'll talk to you next week at noon Eastern time. Thanks everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.