Coming Up Blank on Resolutions? RELAX

BlogTalkRadio. Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/sheddingthebitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone on this 15th day of January already. I can't believe it. You're gonna have to forgive me right up front. I'll let you know, um, a couple weeks in, I'm still dealing with a, um, with a nasty cold. It was the flu, um, for a long time. Probably didn't get out of bed or lift my head off the pillow for about 4 or 5 days. Lovely, lovely, lovely. And now it's more the congestion and doing whatever you can to keep it down while at the same time trying to get back to whatever life could be as normal as can be when, uh, you're not feeling 100%. But I thought it was important. I, I feel like I haven't spoken to you in a very long time, and I'm just really also very curious. Last week, um, I definitely got up last Tuesday morning And, um, it, it hit me, I believe it was Sunday, um, to the point where I just— there was nothing I could, I could be doing, um, even for myself, let alone for anyone else. And, uh, so I text Deborah and I just said I didn't even have time to put up a replay. I didn't have time to do anything. Um, I'm just gonna have to let it go. For today. And I wish— I almost wish I at least put an episode up of which I didn't show up for, hoping to kind of pick up on whether or not did anyone out there miss us. And you're not going to hurt my feelings. I know a lot of you download us after the live broadcast, but I thought to myself, we do have a great listenership, but at the same time You know, it's, you know, I'm not naive to say, well, there's so much content available out there. How loyal, how invested are individuals, not only to Shedding the Bitch? I don't take things personally that way. Um, at the same time, you know, do they just kind of bounce off and, and go elsewhere? Um, but I just, I just couldn't do it. And I'm going to also push through doing it today, because as much as I want to be here and I want to talk with you and I want to share with you some, some insights and whatnot, I also understand that it's even more frustrating to kind of listen to someone who can barely get words out without gagging or taking deep breaths or whatever the case might be. But I'm doing this for you as much as I'm also doing it for me on this particular subject, because what the last few weeks of being sick and whatnot and transitioning from Christmas into the New Year celebration, um, that was very unusually quiet for me. Meaning that I, I, it was very loud from a family and friends and a social perspective, but it was just quiet from a business perspective. I ensured, um, to close out all, you know, pending projects, anything that really would kind of force me to want to get online or have to get online or take a phone call during the Christmas to New Year's break. And I kind of vowed to myself that I wasn't going to do that. I was going to get my desk clean, take care of my clients, get them in a place where they're good. Get my writing, get whatever work needed to get done, done. And there— and I was successful in doing that. And so my Christmas and New Year's was quiet. And I hope you were able to take some time off too, because I think what this last couple of weeks has also taught me is we all need to do that at times. We all need to be okay with the fact that life will go on without you, and the world will continue to spin without you, and that's okay. That's absolutely okay. Because when I led into— the New Year was on a Tuesday, which is also a very weird day for me. Many of you who have been part of the program and the community for a long time probably have sensed and by my stories and the work that I do, I can be very OCD. I can be very, you know, kind of regimented. So when something's on a Tuesday like New Year's Day where you're kicking off something new, you're putting in a new plan, you're starting off a new activity, Tuesday's weird. Tuesday's not kind of a comfortable day for me to get started on something. And so what typically will happen as it did this year, I allowed it to happen. Is I said, okay, so I'm just gonna elongate that, uh, kickoff of my plan to the following Monday. I like to start things on Monday because I like to kind of blow out things on the weekend, whether, you know, from a diet perspective or a work perspective, whatever, and then come back to everything, um, on a Monday and just kick into full gear. And I'm that type of person. I don't know, think about it for yourself. I'm that type of person where, especially with the new year, I have my plans locked into place. I have my goals laid out. I have my SMART measurements and activities and timeline all kind of formalized into a plan, what I've always called my rich plan, what you can call your rich plan. And go out and find that template on our Shed in the Beach or Ball of Fire Consulting websites. But this year I had mentioned that first Tuesday, that first Tuesday of 2019, that that solid plan that I had put into place, actually leading into December, got all kind of discombobulated over the holidays. In a good way, in a good way. Some of it was just a little few surprises for me. But in a good way, forcing me to want to go back and kind of sit quietly and kind of relook— look over those plans again and make some adjustments just based on some— a few things personally and professionally that I had put into place that might no longer be where I should be putting my focus on. And it was just through a few conversations with some folks over the holiday period that really had me questioning whether or not I'm really serving the right purpose. And in one case, am I really putting everything I should be putting into, into one area? And that's actually my script and my writing work. And there— and should I really amp that up while I'm also kind of diverting on one of my goals, my professional goals when it comes to my work? So that was my intention is to take that January 1st to January 4th, 5th, leading into that Monday as an opportunity to do that. And yet I got slapped upside the head with getting sick and spent the last couple weeks totally blank, which is how I came up with the title of today's program. I came— I mean, just totally blank. Have you ever felt that way? You just kind of get up and you look around your, your world, your life, your friends, your family, your community, your work, and you're just like, what is this really all about, you know? And what is it that really kind of gets, gets me excited or gets me energized or really kind of wakes up my spirit. Especially if you're, when you're sick, you're looking for something that will just kind of be that Energizer Bunny battery that kind of gets you going and, you know, beating on your drum like that pink little bunny does. I love those commercials. The face on that bunny just every time I see it just makes me smile because he's just so, and maybe it's a girl, but it's just so almost deviant, you know, like he going against the world, going against all odds and beating on— let's say it's a girl— beating on her drum, not caring for the world, you know, what anybody else thinks or does or what their world is happening around them. And so that's what I went looking for in those few days and over the last few weeks, and I'll be honest with you, it has not come. Which is very weird for me and very uncomfortable for me and very strange for me. Um, I continue to sit because, you know, I've even told you, um, as a community, when you're struggling with something or you're, you're even trying to create something, um, you have to get rid of the noise around you. And I certainly have been able to be successful in doing that because, like I said, I wasn't even able to really listen to radio or watch TV while I was, while I was in those initial 5 or 6 days because the noise just really kind of just banged at my head. I had this penetrating, fierce headache along with an earache, along with the temperature, you know, the fever and whatnot. So I was kind of given that opportunity to sit and be in a quiet place. And yet nothing. I mean, just absolutely nothing. And then finally I've gotten up, I guess I just finally got up out of bed maybe last Friday, maybe going into Saturday. Actually it was, it was Saturday. And simply because I had planned to have my guest house floors replaced. I should call it my little cottage where I actually live. I had my floors replaced and they had been— that's another story for another day. But, and I've been postponing this thing. Initially I postponed it because of the holidays and then I did have to postpone it because I, the initial days of getting sick. And then I figured I'd be well, I'd be well 2 weeks later. So I had scheduled it for last Saturday. Yeah, it's only been a couple days. So I was kind of forced to have to get out of bed and kind of act alive. And so that kind of just, you know, disrupted everything because I literally had to clear out this cottage so they could come in and rip out the floors and put the floors back in again. And I was hoping, okay, well, you know, that will give me energy and that'll give me time to just kind of play with boxes and load things up and move things around and let my mind go blank and kind of just think about, you know, there's photographs of my vision board from last year is up on my wall, so I stared at that for a while. And still nothing, absolutely nothing., and it started getting real. It started getting to me. It started really kind of concerning me. Um, again, uh, you know, it might be like you, it might not be, but, you know, I think looking at, you know, it being the 9th, the 10th, the 11th of the new year, the 12th, the 13th, the 14th of the new year, and here blank. Um, but I got on a phone call, uh, today's Tuesday, so I'm sorry, forgive me, you know, I'm still kind of loaded up on medications. So I got on a phone call late yesterday afternoon with my own coach. I've mentioned her over the years, Joan, and we haven't spoken probably in a good 3 or 4 weeks. Um, not only because of the holidays, but she went off to Spain and took a nice long 2-week vacation in Spain. And then last week, um, I wasn't feeling up to talking to anybody, so I kind of sent her a quick text. But yesterday I felt, okay, you know, it's the 14th of the month, I really need to be, you know, talking with her and trying to figure all this out. And it was funny because she gave me back the same, you know, same advice that I've given you. And that is, you know, when you're coming up absolutely drained, absolutely void, absolutely empty, absolutely blank, unexcited, bored, whatever the words might be to explain that vacancy that you're feeling, that lack of definition, that lack of a plan, that lack of a— let's articulate it to a goal if we should. You know, it's okay because there's times when even when we think we are, you know, kind of targeted on the right goal, the right activity, the right hobby, the right passion, we kind of tend to find at some point maybe that it isn't. And all of a sudden we are bored or we are void or blank or empty toward whatever that was that we've been working on. And it could even be when you're working on it really hard and passionately and all of a sudden you're realizing this is not where I'm supposed to be, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing. Is not giving me excitement anymore. So she simply said to me what I've told you, and that is, relax, take a deep breath, be okay with not knowing, be okay with not feeling it, be okay with just being, uh, and it will come. Because, um, the more you force it You know, she went on to say the more you force it, the more frustrating and the more difficult it will become. Well, that was interesting that she said that because one of the things I also propose people to do, especially if you're not going to, you know, listen to the radio, music tends to help people a great deal, or maybe they pull up a video, an inspirational video, or just a fun movie. Okay, the dogs are going to go at it. Or just a fun, fun movie or show, then, you know, I also say, well, then pull up a book, open a book, and, you know, even one that might be one of inspirational quotes or devotion. And so all of a sudden that reminded me that I purchased this book. I came across this book at, at holiday, at Christmas Mass up in Philadelphia. The priest actually mentioned it. It's a Catholic church. The priest actually mentioned it. It's called Jesus Calling, and it's Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young. And it is a book, basically daily, 365 daily devotion, devotions. So it's a devotional. It's, you know, each day you would read, read a passage that she reflects on, and then she actually then has quotes from the Bible that end her reflection to kind of ground you on, you know, on the particular subject matter. And I don't know, something called to me, something, you know, spoke to me at Christmas Mass when they mentioned this book, and they only mentioned it very briefly. They just said, you know,— "Should you be interested, there's a pamphlet in the back regarding this book called Jesus Calling." I mean, very like 5 seconds of a discussion at Mass. And yet something spoke to me to say, "Okay, I'm going to order that." So I did. So it was sitting on my nightstand as I'm trying to figure out kind of what it is that I'm doing in this world. Yet at the same time not wanting to really, you know, get up out of bed, not wanting to turn on the radio or the television or anything else, take walks like I typically do, or I'll even go for a swim. So I opened up the book and I turned to the particular— a particular page, not necessarily the date that's, you know, that you're supposed to kind of tie it directly to the date. Of which you're, you're at. Um, so I had opened it to January 9th, and actually I think it was like January 12th or 13th when I, when I actually, um, opened it. But I opened it up to January 9th and it was just like it— again, it called to me. Um, and it kind of put, it put validation on even what Joan said yesterday, uh, to me. Uh, and basically it's the, the January 9th devotional is I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with my will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their time has come. One of the main ways I assert my sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to me and do things my way, ask me to show you the path forward instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let me set the pace. Slow down and enjoy the journey. So I read that and I thought to myself, well, that's actually exactly what I, you know, kind of talked to you about is just sit quietly, don't push, listen, you know, you'll all of a sudden tap into what it is and how it is. You know, that you're looking for and searching for and what answers you're in need of. And I thought that that was extremely relevant and just awestruck, actually, by the fact that it— that it touched on exactly where I was at that moment in time. So, I've continued to read those and use those to then sit quietly and listen. And wait for the answers and not give myself the pressure to have those goals, have those plans laid out as solidly as I'd like them to and as detailed as I, you know, as I typically do because it actually helps. We talk about goal setting here all the time and it's for no other reason than when you can wake up in the morning and have a really clear idea of what it is that you're working on and how you need to go about it and what is going to get in your way of being successful at doing it and, and what are the resources or the, or the support systems you need in place to achieve those goals, then it makes life so much easier. It makes life so much simpler. It makes it easier. I just said that, didn't I? And so lacking that for me, lacking that just is uncomfortable. It's not scary, it's not nerve-wracking, it's just uncomfortable. I like having a plan because I like, you know, having that thought-out idea of what it is I should be doing and how to do it. What to do if I run into trouble in being able to achieve it. But, even to the point of Joan and to the point of my Jesus Calling devotional, it's going to happen in the time that it's meant to happen. And that's what I'm getting more comfortable with throughout today and since I even spoke with her yesterday. Is just giving myself a break, taking a deep breath, uh, appreciating the fact that, uh, it will come with time. There will be clarity. She— you know, even Deborah, uh, right before we got on, uh, Deborah was, you know, also saying, you know, well, based on the fact that you've been sick and, you know, taking medication or whatever the case might be, um, you know, you, you, you know things are going to appear muddy and messy and not real clear. She didn't use those specific words, but that's what she was implying. And it's true, it does make— it makes 100% sense. And therefore, you know, that allows me to take a deep breath and understand what it is that— what it is that right now I'm meant to be doing, that is just taking care of myself, getting myself healthy, wrangling in these 3 puppies that are, that are running around in front of me. And just kind of appreciating that I have this quiet time to really just ground myself in what I always mentioned to you to kind of use as your foundation. And that is going back to simple questions like, what is it I want? What is it I don't want? What am I willing to sacrifice? What am I willing to do? What do I need to— what do I need in order to achieve these goals? And that's exactly what I then started doing earlier, is kind of starting to scribble those things out. What do I want? What don't I want? What am I willing to sacrifice? What do I need to achieve these goals? And what are those goals? And so I'll continue to work that and massage that and, and listen for what my, my, my soul is telling me, even amongst all this muddiness and messiness and fogginess in my head, hoping to get that cleared out when I go to the doctor's at 3 o'clock this afternoon. So I just implore you to do the same, is to give yourself a break, to take a deep breath, to allow yourself to be foggy, allow yourself to be unfocused, allow yourself to be— I'll even go as far as bored. I, you know, I'm rarely bored. I pretty much keep myself very active doing the things that I want to be doing, the things that I enjoy, and the things that bring other people joy. So, bored is not necessarily something that I deal with a lot. Yet, when you're in bed for almost 9 days, 10 days, or at least in your house— I've run to the store maybe twice, and I should be wearing a mask, but I've run to the store twice for food. But apart from that, I pretty much have been in my, in my cottage here. So, but that's okay. I'll deal with it now. If this was to go on, like say it goes on a next Monday when I really want to be kicking things into gear, we'll be having a whole different conversation next Tuesday, that's for sure. So do this, do be okay whether it's today, January 15th, or it's 6 months from now, or, you know, maybe it's next week, just be okay with it. Sit with it. Appreciate it. And just then kind of do what you need to do, whether that is reflecting through walks or through reading or through the radio, or music I should say, or through talking with a friend or even a coach. And just kind of really trusting and tapping into your own heart as to what it is that you're feeling, what it is that you're thinking, what it is that gets you excited or gets you frustrated, but what it is that you want. And therefore, what is it that you're willing to do in order to, to now go and use that to create the energy and the focus and the persistence and confidence and motivation that you need to move forward. So I'm going to listen back to this. I have a feeling I'm going to listen back to this and go, "What was that rambling about?" Despite the outline I have sitting in front of me. But I do hope— I do hope that, you know, whatever you may or may not be dealing with today at this very moment in time. You know, maybe you're in a much, you know, more clear, focused, energized, well-planned state of being. That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. But if you're not, then, then hopefully my words, my guidance, my advice my process will help you, if even just a little bit. That said, and before I start seriously coughing in your ear again, I'm going to leave it at that for now. And one of the things I'll just leave you with too, just as an FYI, and you can always share your thoughts and be as honest and forthright as you care, You know, I'm even giving thought to where does Shedding the Bits Radio stand, you know, as we move forward in 2019. What does it mean to the community? What does it, what should it mean to the community? And therefore, what does it need to look like as we move forward? As well as, you know, doing the same with my writing and with my coaching and consulting and all the work that I do. So even conversations like today, even the one way that it is, you know, kind of provides that feedback, or at least that framework, that thought process. There's a lot of things going on in my head right now as it pertains to it, and so I'll just keep you in the— I'll keep you abreast as to what that looks like as we move forward. And, uh, but I will say that I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time, uh, for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Have a good one, everyone. Stay healthy. Get those flu shots.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.