Empowerment from Sensuality and Pleasure with Lady Jin

Are you ready to create the riches in your work and life you deserve? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in your life. Now here's your host, Bernadette Boas. Good day, good day everyone, and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio. And yes indeed, I'm Bernadette Boas, and we have a sensual conversation today. Yes we do. We're going to be talking about empowerment from sensuality and pleasure with our guest, and it is awesome, and I can't wait to talk to her. But before we do, uh, just a few few thank-yous, and those would be to one, our sponsor who sponsors us each and every week and has for actually a number of years, and that is North Georgia Tax Solutions. Debbie Snelling and her team offer full-service financial and tax services to small to corporate-sized clients all over the country, not just North Georgia, and she and her team are absolutely fabulous. So if you need any support for, um, your individual or for your small to corporate size company, then please reach out and go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more about how she can support you in whatever you're trying to accomplish in your business and life. All right, and then of course I always have to thank our new listeners and viewers. You are finding us across the gamut, whether that's on any of the streaming services like BlogTalkRadio or Apple Podcasts, maybe Stitcher, iTunes. As well as you're also watching us on our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel, or even through Shedding the Bitch on Facebook. So we so appreciate your comments, your likes, your ratings, your follows, your subscriptions, um, and continue to please to do that because that just helps us get more eyes and ears onto the, the many topics that we cover here in the Shedding the Bitch community. And of course, our ongoing viewers and listeners. If it wasn't for you, the new ones wouldn't have found us. And, uh, therefore we so appreciate the same— the likes and the, and the, uh, comments and the subscriptions and the follows and the ratings. And the fact that you're leaving us suggestions on not only topics but actual expert, uh, experts that you would like to hear from. And continue doing that because we want to be sure that we are hitting on the subjects and the experts that you are interested in. All right, so thank you so much for that. All right then, let's dive right into this conversation. Um, we are going to be talking about, like I said, empowerment from sensuality and pleasure. Connecting with our body, sensuality, and daily pleasure generates lasting confidence and fulfillment. Highly educated professionals are you— are used to being in their head to generate results., but this way can feel very, very draining for them. I used— our guest used to be one of them, and by connecting with her body, sensuality, and daily pleasure, you too can switch to, to sustaining energy and confidence. So what we want to be, um, talking about today and what we want you to be listening for is those incomplete or suppressed emotions that you might have that have a direct impact on your body and mind. We want you to listen to your body and in order to reset and recharge it. And then we want to talk about and have you listen for how pleasure lives in our senses, and it is your tool, your tool for empowerment and fulfillment. All right, um, now I leave for, for our guests and for all of you I like to kick off with a rich question, something that you can think about and ground yourself into the topic of conversation. So you might have joined and thought, oh, this doesn't relate to me, but yes, indeed it will and, and can. So we want you to kind of walk into it, uh, with considering something that might be impacting your life right now. So your rich question for today's conversation is, where or what aspect of your life Would you like to amp up your sensuality and your pleasure? What area of your life would you really like to have impacted when it comes to your sensuality and your pleasure? All right, now our guest is Lady Jin. She is an intimacy and confidence coach. She supports women and men above 30 years old to break self-limiting beliefs. She wants you to also break claims— or I'm sorry, she wants you to also claim true confidence and expand your body and verbal language for fulfilling intimacy. Her holistic 3A coaching method is to activate body wisdom, integrate mind, heart, and erotic nature to achieve lasting results. The method that she has combines Western scientific study and Eastern ancient practices. Before becoming a coach, she was a business director in a global media company and holds a degree and an MBA degree. So let me welcome to the show Lady Jin. How are you?

Hi, Bernadette Boas. Good day.

Good day to you as well. I'm so excited that you're here.

Me too. And we're excited.

Yeah. And where are you calling us from?

I'm right now in my apartment in New York City. New York, New York.

Love it, love it, love it. And you must have tons of 30-plus-year-olds up there that you could be supporting and, and helping.

Oh yeah, this is a, this is a center place, you know, known for hustling and the fast pace, lifestyle.

Right. So it's good to have you around to kind of like get— help people get centered and really focused on them, you know, and within themselves.

That's my new mission. Before that, as you just introduced to me, I was one of them. I was one of them, uh, climbing the corporate ladder and, uh, you know, get more and more achievements.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Now, well, before we get into the whole idea of sensuality and pleasure, help us understand. So you're in New York, and like you said, you studied there. How did you get into this field of practice?

Yeah, wow, long story, but we're gonna make it short. Yeah, so, um, your introduction, um, you said I I grew up in China and arrived to the States in Boston Airport, uh, 15 years ago. Will be, uh, in August will be 15 years. And I came here for my MBA, you know, full-time, full-time for 2-year study. And, you know, after that I continued the path to climb the corporate ladder. I joined a global media company and made my way to business director. And in that journey, and I also found there's a disconnection between what I really want versus what my body is willing to do, right?

Okay.

And, uh, and then I really, you know, first I didn't pay attention. I was really occupying my time with more hobbies, interesting hobbies, traveling, you know, to self-care myself. At that time, I was considering that I upgraded my self-care. Ah, yeah, but things was not really getting better in my personal life and also in my connect— connection with my really what I really want, right? And then I dived deep. In that deep dive self-exploration and development, I discovered there was something I was not being educated in my, you know, all the way up to master degree education was how important to align our body with mind.

Sure.

And that was beyond, you know, do more yoga, you know, work out more, right? Nothing wrong with that. I still do all of them, right? But I got a deeper awareness how important to incorporate our felt sense, which is how our body is feeling, and align that with our willpower and to generate a more pleasant and connected life.

Right.

Once I discovered that, and I have seen there's so many people like me was not aware, they were not aware how important this is and what big impact it can make. Into their life, especially in their relationship and love life, intimacy life. Right. Yeah. So I made switch and followed my new calling.

Which is fabulous. I mean, you tapped into exactly what was important to you and therefore what could be important to somebody else. And what a brave step to take You know, because it's one thing to be in business and be a director and just doing your thing, but then to acknowledge that you want to help someone, especially in the space of sensuality and pleasure.

Yes.

Uh, you know, that's, that's fabulous. And what would you say, what would you say the, the, like, the top challenge or issue or thing that you're client is dealing with when they come to you?

Yeah, so this is something really dear to my heart. Yeah, so because I do care, I do care when they come to me. Yes, I'd love to share that. I will say the very first thing they've noticed is they, they are drained. They have strong desire So most of the people, uh, they say that, uh, your best client is your past self, right? So you're in the business, you're in coaching business, right? For me, I see that often, right? Regardless of gender, really, uh, what they came across is, uh, my clients or people I'm serving is they come to a point they have followed the book, they follow the path to get a lot of things. Maybe some of them got all the things on the book checked on the list, right? But still, there's a sense, clear sense, of lack of fulfillment, lack of real satisfaction to themselves. How I call it is, how do you feel when no one is watching?

Um, powerful.

How do you feel about yourself? Like, I remember in corporate world, we used to ask the question, what keeps you up at night? What problems I can help you with, right? What keeps you up at night? So I would say this is similar, but it's more intimate question is when nobody is watching, what do you enjoy? What is dear to your heart?

Yeah.

What are you yearning for? Right, right. So Yeah. So that's the thing I help them to navigate.

Yeah. Well, and you, you know, you mentioned 30-year-olds and plus, men and women. And I know for myself, I really didn't know what I wanted until I was in my, like, in my 40s. So those 30-year-olds or 35-year-olds, um, are they able to answer that question easily with you, or do they need to kind of like, you know, do you send them through a coaching series and a process that will help? Because you mentioned you're your process? Do you send them through a process that may take some time for them to discover kind of what that answer is?

I would say yes and no. I'll share with you, it's less related to age, but it's more related to the different— I would say there are different activating point for them to decide that I want to devote time and investment to really get in deep connection with myself, right? Emotionally, physically, intimately, like to know myself, know my body, know my emotion more, right? Usually there's some frustrating triggering or activating point, right? As mostly in personal life, in their love life, intimate life, right? Sometimes can be in career. You know, I do work with clients, they are so lost feel in the career exploration or, um, you know, climbing up the ladder, right? And, um, believe it or not, I mean, for sure they have very, very good degrees and, you know, credentials, right? So most of, uh, when they start, are they able to answer this question? Yes, because they are clear there is a certain things they're very, very unsatisfied in their life about themselves, about the situation they are in, right? And they— the no part is I, I found none of them really have figured out what is really going on. Well, that makes sense. If they have really figured out, they probably have done something to it, right? Right. So We always start with like the tip of iceberg. We need to start with somewhere which is, oh, we see this is something you want to tackle. It's a tip of iceberg. And in the process, we explore together safely what's under the water, right? And then, no, regardless of the age, they have so many aha moments and say, wow, I was never able to connect A and B, all the dots together.

Nice.

Now we can.

So yeah, fabulous. But, and, and you make a connection between, uh, and, and the title just simply, you know, expresses it. You make a connection too between empowerment, sensuality, and pleasure. So how is that?

Yeah, so, um I— well, now I'm intrigued to ask you a question first. Oh, and I'm going to answer yours. Okay, so, uh, the question is— I will answer that question too, right? But I love to hear people's answer to that. What does pleasure mean to you?

Let's see, what does pleasure mean to me? It— I mean, the first thing that just popped in my head, like, the second you asked that was just like a burning heart. You know, like my heart would just be burning with joy, with pleasure, with just pure happiness and satisfaction, almost like sunshine is coming over me right now.

Yeah. Wonderful. I can see that and pairs up very well with your personality. Yeah.

Yeah.

I really enjoyed it when you said, good day, good day, good day. I said, wow, that's a big heart right there. Big emotion. Bursting out. Yeah, so I love— always love to hear what people's answer to that, right? So because it's, it's no right answer, right? Everyone has their own definition, right? So for me, pleasure means aliveness and also connection with yourself, your inner being, and also connection with your outer world, no matter where you are, right? So if the, if the connection is lively, is feel vivid to you, feel like I'm in it, I'm present with what connection I have with myself and with my outer world, and I enjoying it, feel alive. That's pleasure to me.

Yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, awesome. Yeah, well, but, and where does, where does empowerment fit into that? Like, what does that look like to someone Yeah, because I understand sensuality and pleasure could be different for everybody. What— when you add the empowerment element, what does that bring to somebody?

Okay, yes. So, um, let's use some examples, like, that's what I have experienced.

Okay.

And I'm also saying that more and more from people I support is, um, you know, uh, back then I was working corporate I find I have learned different business ways to navigate the dynamic in office and how to speak up, how to present myself. I would say it's, um, quite formulated in a, in a, in a good way because the formula will help us to shorten the learning curve and really know how to present it effectively and how to do things effectively. Right.

Sure.

And what I found is that was my trigger point to start with, is that kind of formula does not apply when I connect with people in person. And I often find, uh, like, disempowered. For example, in the situations like, it's hard for me to know what I'm looking for in a relationship or in relating to someone I feel close to. It's hard to speak up what I really want in real time. It's hard to— and when I'm in that space, I'm very much occupied by my own thoughts, oftentimes limiting beliefs or negative talks, right, about me, right? And then I'm totally not in connection or in present— in presence with the people I want to connect with. Yes.

Right. Yeah.

So in that moment, now I know I feel very disempowered. Like I couldn't speak up, I couldn't express myself fully.

Wow.

You know, and I cannot really enjoy building the relationship I want with people. So that's before, and after is when I was able to feel my body more. Feel what emotions I have right now at this moment. And from that space, be able to articulate, this is what I would like to— love to have. Even as simple as a hug, a touch, um, uh, eye gazing, you know. It doesn't require that much words, right? But when I can articulate my real authentic desire from that place, oh, I feel I'm so empowered because I speak up for myself, I ask for what I want, and I'm making the way to build the connection I like. So that's my own experience.

Pow, pow, drop the mic! Because what you also had coming up for me is There was this, um, there's this commercial for a reality show and it's, I don't know, it's like Love Island or something like that.

Okay.

And it's like all these 20-somethings that I, I guess I never watched it, but that go on to this island and try to fall in love. Anyway, so one of the commercials is, you know, leading into the season premiere and one of the women says, and you know, it triggered me just like when you just were explaining it, And she says, oh gosh, she goes— and she's probably like 26. She's like, oh my gosh, I haven't been touched in so long. Because they were talking about, especially the last year and a half with the pandemic, that Love Island is like, you know, the perfect place to go to get over the pandemic or whatever. And so she says, you know, gosh, it's been so for, you know, forever since I've been touched. And that all of a sudden, when I was watching it the other night and it came on, I just— all of a sudden I got triggered. And I said to myself, oh my gosh, it's been a while since I've been touched. And what that all of a sudden meant to me. And so I totally get the difference then of how I felt. Not that I paid attention that I felt disempowered of not being touched for a while. But then all of a sudden when I acknowledged it, like what you're saying, is once someone becomes aware, then it's kind of like, oh, OK, now I know what I need to do. I know what I need. And therefore I'll go, you know, I'll go and try to find it. Yes.

Then we can become resourceful.

Right.

When we accept what we need and own that. And oftentimes it's not have control over us. And then we said, yeah, okay, I can be resourceful and find it.

Right. Yeah.

I love that.

I love it. Well, self-awareness is key, right?

Yes.

You know, you don't know what you don't know, but the minute you know it, you then can do something about it.

Yes.

Yeah, I love that.

I love that.

Now, can you, can you kind of paint a picture for us of what a person, individual, looks like, regardless of age or gender, when they are not connected to their sensuality, and then when they are? Like, what, you know, kind of like do they actually like morph?

You know, wow, that's such an interesting question. I, you know, uh, well, I— you make me giggling. I said, wow, I really enjoy answering that. Yeah, I mean, there are— I would say there are many signs you can catch, right? So one is Well, I ask people, okay, let's practice slowing down, right? Is it, uh, it's hard for me to slow down? All right, no worry, let's do this. Let's keep, uh, take a deep, full, slow belly breathing together, in and out. So after we do that for 3 rounds Right away, people will feel the difference. Like, oh, now I really feel I'm breathing, right? Yeah, yeah, I will consciously breathing. And right, by the way, you can do that any moment in the office, sitting on a chair, in the subway, right?

Right.

Driving— probably not driving, you know. Uh, but that's the difference right there, is if we can consciously slowing down our breathing and then be aware how deep and slow we can connect and let the breathing drop into our body and out, right? So that's one. And another thing is, when— this is interesting, especially if I work with two people, right? So, so, hey, uh, let's first Uh, let's say there are a couple, right? There are a couple. You put one hand on onto another person's hand, right? There's no, no more touch needed. Just put a hand together and then keep an eye gazing. Keep an eye gazing. This is a very interesting exercise, right? Okay, if they pass eye gaze and feel like, oh, we're comfortable eye gazing, great. Okay, then that means you do have good connection and awareness. At least you can tap into that very quickly. Yeah, but believe it or not, some people immediately you will see the eyes start like, uh, blinking very quickly, and that's a sign of, you know, not feeling comfortable of keeping consistent eye contact, right? Yeah, again, there's nothing wrong, it's just something many people are not used to.

Sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, like, breathing, blinking your eyes is kind of— you take it for granted. I mean, you don't necessarily pay attention to it because it just, you know, it happens. So I wouldn't be able to tell you if I blink 100 times a minute or if I blink 5 times a minute.

Yeah.

But if once I'm aware of it, yeah.

Yeah. Interesting. Interesting.

I love that. I love that. So there's somebody who's not in tune with themselves. I know how I would describe them, but how, how would you describe someone who's not in tune or in touch with their sensuality and pleasure?

Uh, so I have a few examples. One is from how they describe the language they're using, right? So the example is when I first start let's say even talking with someone who are interested in, you know, getting support, getting support, right? Say, uh, can you tell me in a few words how are you feeling in your body? Like, use some specific word, you know. There's no right answer or bad, wrong answer. So the answer I heard quite often, I would say 90% if not higher, is I feel good or I feel bad. That's it. There are two words to summarize the answer, like good or bad. So, okay, great to know. Can you use another word to describe how you feel, either your emotion or how your body is feeling? Right. I will give a few examples. You know, for some people, maybe, oh, I don't have vocabulary, right? You know, so that's One sign here is how much are you aware and how many words you are able to use to describe. It doesn't have to be fancy. You can say cold, hot, tense, tight, nervous, relaxed, you know, I'm well stretched, well rested. So those are the words, right? When people have deeper and deeper awareness, with what's going on in their body. Those words are very handy. And it's, you know, and they know like, ah, that's right. I can describe how I feel more accurately beyond good or bad.

Right, right, right. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

And again, all this also comes back to self-awareness. Like if you can get in touch, in tune, I keep wanting to go between those two, but in tune with what you're feeling and how those feelings are, are, you know, kind of responding or how you're responding to those feelings. Yes, I can definitely see where, you know, you, you one would feel empowered or depending upon what those feelings are, you could feel disempowered. So I love that contrast. I love being able to kind of see and visualize that contrast. Um, all right, so someone comes to you and they have kind of voiced the fact that they don't feel like they're in touch with themselves, or they're just— something's off.

How— what—

help us explain, you know, your process of, you know, what does it look like when someone wants to engage with you?

Oh, you mean in a, uh, like professionally support them?

Yes.

On this journey.

Yeah. So, you know, are there, you know, do you give them exercises? Is it just purely like, you know, verbal conversation that you have with them to self-discover, you know, what exactly, you know, does your process include? Got it.

Got it. So, uh, yes, there is a process. Uh, though some of the, um, some of the, uh, practices will be customized for individual, right? But the whole framework is a process I call it 3A because it starts with all A, right? So first is activation, means to activate our body wisdom, to get in touch with our emotions and felt sense. That's body wisdom. The second part is awareness. You just use that word several times, right? Awareness, go beyond knowing what's going on And also rewire our stories because often we have our negative talks or limiting beliefs. Right. That's the story we keep telling ourselves. Right. Right. So, and activating our body wisdom can help us bring something is driving us unconsciously to the conscious level. Right. Because our body keeps a score, like repressed emotions, incomplete emotions or events. Especially some dramatic events, our body does keep the score. And the best way to bring that from unconscious level to conscious is somatic, uh, also means body-based practices, so that we know like, oh, this is where I feel grief, this is where I feel anger or sadness or joy, you know. And then when that comes to the conscious level, we are going to use the mindset tool to rewire the story so that past is past, present is present. Yeah. And the third pillar, the third pillar, A, is action. As you know well, you know, if we just do the talking and awareness and don't put into action, nothing gonna happen, right? Right. But the action piece is interesting part is it will have many small processes which people can integrate with the day-to-day life, and most of the time will engage their body. Ah, it can be breathing, can be breathing exercise, it can be sensation detection. You know, some of them just take 2 minutes or 5 minutes. It's a matter of consistency. So that part is usually customized based on the specific problem or issues the client or the person wants to work on.

Sure.

And what's the learning style and their work lifestyle.

Okay.

So the goal is to make it doable so that they can really integrate in their day-to-day life to see a progress.

Yeah, that's a straight A. I love that. Activate awareness and action.

Yeah.

3 A's. I love that. And it's always those kind of acronyms or little blurbs of titles can help you remember them.

Yeah.

Activate awareness and action. Yeah. I'm testing myself here. Oh, Lady Jin, I'm, I'm testing myself.

Thank you. So basically our body, our mind, and then incorporate them into our day-to-day life.

Right, right. Okay, so we're, we're talking a lot about kind of our own, you know, internal or even external, but physical body and experience, sensuality and pleasure. But obviously, we're, you know, I— are your clients also looking to get in touch with that so then they have better intimate relationships? And whether that's sex or not, right? Yeah, they have better intimate relationships with other people. Can you help us kind of paint like the spectrum of the fact that you just want intimacy with your best friend and, and be truly intimate with someone, and all the way to the point where you want an intimate sexual relationship that's built on, you know, pleasure for both of you, all that kind of good stuff? Yeah, yeah.

So your question is, how does it look like?

Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, like, yes. So how does all this self-work then translate to the relationships we want to have in our lives.

Yeah. So it's also fought under this, the framework, the 3A framework, but we'll add more specific tools and processes related to intimacy.

Right.

Give example, under the body wisdom to activate our body wisdom. Right? I will, um, if people want to understand the erotic nature better, like, oh, I want to understand my turn-ons and off, my likes and dislikes, my preferences. I said, that's right, because first is you know yourself, your body responds better, and then you will have learned more new languages, new, new ways to express them, right? So that makes you being heard, like communicate to your best friend, friends, or partner. Right, so there will be some processes specifically help them to understand the blueprint, erotic blueprint, like what kind of touch they prefer, uh, how much connections they would love to have, and how to better communicate to them so that they can relax and really be prepared to be ready for intimate, for intimate setup. Yeah, you know, so that will be the process that help them to tune into their body, especially on the erotic nature, to understand the erotic blueprint. Yes. Yeah.

And that was the spectrum too I wanted to cover, is that it wasn't only just kind of, um, one sensuality or pleasure. I don't know what I'm looking for, like on the surface. I mean, you all, you go to all the way to the point of helping you with that, those erotic zones, I'll call it.

Yes.

What really brings you pleasure, you know, even physically in bed with, you know, with someone else and with yourself, I would assume.

Yes. Yeah. Yes, actually, you know, we are our best lover, we are our longest lover, right? So, so the better we understand our— how we like to be loved the better we know how to ask for that and also how to best love others, right? So, and that takes mutual, you know, two ways to understand how to, you know, create intimacy. But the foundation is if all parties involved understand their intimate, uh, nature, the erotic nature, better, and that makes it much easier. Reduce the guesswork and then we can play together instead of, uh, let me figure out what the person likes. Yes. Yeah.

And, and, and I, and I can imagine because a lot of people— I mean, I grew up Catholic, right? And, you know, to talk sex, you know, was like taboo.

Yeah.

And so, you know, you have to kind of, like you said, that we all have our stories and you have to strip away all of that and recognize that you're only going to get what you want by sharing what it is that you, you want. And, you know, so you, you kind of have to strip away whatever those stories are that you're telling yourself. Um, and I love that. Now, obviously, individuals— and you work with, you know, those individuals who are single as well as individuals that are in relationships, whether that means that they're dating all the way to the, to the fact that they're married. Do you— what percentage of your business would you say is coupling— is couples?

I would say majority, over 80%, are individual.

Okay, individual.

So as you described, they can be single, in between relationships, or married, right?

Okay.

Uh, but, uh, I would say the, the commonality, although they come up, they come to me with different challenges or things to achieve, but the commonality is they recognize that in order to have the intimacy or relationship or better fulfillment they desire, they need to better understand themselves and connect with themselves. So it's go beyond, uh, like understanding, uh, theoretically. It's more about connecting, uh, in my body with my erotic nature, you know. Yeah, what my body really desire, and I can I can really be honest with myself and honor that, right? Yeah. And also awareness kicks in here as well. Once they go through some process, understand the body better, they're always a mixed— I have observed a mixed feeling of joy and sadness or shame. The joy part is, oh my God, finally I can put words to it. Right? Finally I can express myself better. But the shame or sadness is, you know, um, uh, I, I— oh, what did I do in the past 30, 40 years, or even 50 years, right? And I was— I have been— I have been hiding myself, right? That part, this is sadness. And the shame is just as you shared, like, because of all those upbringings or society, religious influence, right?

Right, right.

We still need to use awareness part, mindset tool, to really look at, rewire, like, what's your new narrative?

Yes.

To the upbringing story you had.

Absolutely.

Yes.

Now, is it a stretch to say, would you also help women? Because we actually, there was a few of us talking about this the other day. Would you also be able to help women who have had some sexual trauma in their life? Um, and I know you're not like a psych— you know, psychiatrist or psychologist or whatnot, but are you able to help them kind of get kind of back in touch and in tune with their sensuality and really kind of help them through that, that trauma and that story that they now have because of that trauma?

Uh, yes. So that's where— let me explain, uh, what's the wrench I help them with. Um, I have many female clients, right? So also they have been through marriage or in marriage, right? Again, they really want to tap into the potential, and in the journey they are aware there's some past trauma, uh, you know has impacted them, the capability of enjoying pleasure, enjoying their body, or express themselves completely, right? Right. That's where it's coming in, is, um, I see myself can work hand in hand and work together with a trauma therapist or sex therapist, right? It really depends, it really depends what the client have been through, right? So if they are still in this state, like this, we call it self-sourcing. So let me explain a little bit. Is if the, if the person, if the female, right, uh, is able to self-source, which means when they have emotions kicking, when the trigger or any triggering event kicks in, they know how to communicate they know how to bring safety and awareness in their body and emotion, right? And they have gone through certain, um, you know, process specifically to heal the trauma, right? Deal with the trauma. And then, and they feel they're ready, their body and emotion, their willingness are ready to take off to a new level. Like, oh, I'm ready to reclaim the pleasure, you know, I had when I was like 20 or 30 years old, or I'm ready to bring my enjoyment to a whole new level.

Yeah.

Right. And I know when some of the triggering event happens, what can I do with it? And then I said, yes, let's do it because that's exactly where I can help you. Right. Right. To upleveling. Their love life, intimate life.

Yes.

If they're still heavily, you know, um, in that event when some triggering things happened, right, and they may need to work with a person who specializes in trauma healing, right? Okay.

All right. Yeah, I wanted to make sure we covered that because, yes, like I said, a few of my friends and I were talking about talking about that just the other day, and, uh, and you popped in, in my head. Oh, um, I'm thinking, I wonder how Lady Jin would handle that. Yeah, um, yeah, no, that's awesome. That's great, great, great to know. So what, um, what would you say in the work that you do and in the area of sensuality and pleasure, what would you say are people's misunderstandings, ah, about you know, kind of— yes, intimacy.

Yes, yes. Um, okay, where do we start? Okay, so here's one like I often heard. Um, you know, I would say the number one is intimacy equals sex. Yeah, that's— that was— that's very limiting. Yes, sex is part of intimacy, right? But intimacy is way beyond on sex. And even the concept of sex is beyond what we usually think what it is, right? And intimacy is even beyond.

Yeah. And wouldn't you say sometimes sex has nothing to do with intimacy?

No. Yeah. And, uh, we can be very intimate, but, you know, I have a very intimate connection— eye gazing, breathing together or, or, you know, very soothing, um, hand-holding and touch. And there's so many things I can name that people enjoy, like, oh, I never imagined I can join this so much, right? And with no pressure, right? There's no pressure, right? Because there's no goal-oriented, right? There's no like, oh, I need to get somewhere, right, to to complete the circle, right? Otherwise I'm like, I failed, right? No, we are enjoying the journey and really enjoying the increase of serotonin.

Big time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, right. All right. So any other misunderstandings people have?

Yes. So I will say a common One is in female, is, um, it's about the, the type of pleasures, the body they can join, or orgasms that they can join in a female body. I mean, it happens to male as well, but I was— let me use female as example. Is, uh, uh, I see a lot like when we as female, we, we don't have the enough awareness to acknowledge our body, the difference, and also by the hormone influence, right? We have circles changing every month, right? And also with age change, right? If we don't honor all this change and consistently compare or have a goal-oriented to be, oh, uh, you know, has to compare to the pop media culture presented pleasure or sex, right? And we often feel, I'm a loser because I cannot achieve what's presented in the pop culture media.

Yeah, right.

And another underlying thing is, uh, our body, female body, is really have different arousal level and circle, right? But often we, we, we will think like, oh, we need to have this intimacy or arousal as typically enjoined in a man's, right, a circle, in a man's cycle. That's not true. That's not true. And we will be very, very frustrated if we use that as a yardstick and said, oh, I need to go peak and down like that. No, in fact, it's like more like a circle. It's more like a circle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's true. And, you know, and that was— that's another beautiful thing of when you come into yourself and you really, you know, appreciate yourself and you recognize that, you know what, um, even masturbation— masturbation is always related to men. And it's kind of like, well, women pleasure themselves too, you know, and we want to be taken care of ourselves as well. And we— that, that shouldn't be anything that we're ashamed of or hide from. And yet it's so accepted by the, you know, 14-year-old who's hiding himself in his bathroom. Um, and yet, you know, at the same time, granted, you know, girls develop differently and on different time schedules, but at the same time, you know, um, for any women to feel as if they can't even discuss that, uh, you know, is, is, is kind of disappointing and sad in, in cases. So it's great to have someone like yourself because you're able to— whether someone's 30 or they're 70 and they're still wanting to get in touch with who they are sexually, yes, um, and even intimately— it's fabulous that you're there and being able to provide that type of resource.

It is. I'm enjoying that. I'm enjoying that. And it's as, as you, as you will As you put it very well, it's in daily pleasure and also in our intimate life, right? Yeah, it's way beyond what we usually think as a very small container as intimate and pleasure. Sensuality, pleasure is all in our day-to-day life and in our self-love, right?

Right, right. And we, you know, everybody needs it. I mean, we all— love starts here. Love starts with you, you know, and, uh, you know, get in touch with you and you'll have beautiful relationships, right?

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I want to just, um, offer up to everyone, or, you know, let everyone know, uh, Lady Jin does offer private coaching over a period of few months or in an immersion style. You can go to theladyjin.com, the website's right down there.. And, um, you can check out client testimonials, you can check out her holistic coaching and everything about Lady Jin. And absolutely, if you— if this is kind of a, you know, a stage in your life that you're looking to really kind of get in touch with that empowered you, you know, um, you know, due to your sensuality and pleasure, then get in touch with Lady Jin. And let her help you and guide you through. It's fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Um, now I wanted to make sure, what is the best way other than your website? Is there any other way I should be mentioning? Um, and excuse me, I can't even bend my neck down. Um, I, I, I have something happening. But is there any other place or way for them to reach you other than theladygin.com?

That you'd like to mention. I have more regular updates on Instagram, and you can find me on, uh, search I Am Lady Jane.

Nice. I Am Lady Jane. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Any last parting words for our listeners?

It's never too late to get in touch and explore and uplevel your pleasure and your self-connection.

Love it.

And that's rewarding, right?

Yeah, because whatever minutes, days, months, and years you have on this earth, you know, why not enjoy it in pure, pure pleasure, everybody, right? Um, thank you so much, Lady Jim, for being part of the show. This has been fabulous, and it's been very educational, and I'm— and I know you'll help so so many young men and women and seasoned men and women.

Yes.

Uh, to get in touch with themselves. So thank you so much for being part of the program.

Thank you. Such a pleasure to have the conversation with you.

You as well. And for everyone else, um, please keep in mind that Shedding the Bitch is on every Tuesday at noon Eastern time, and, uh, we, you know, are everywhere. Basically, you can find the programs on BlogTalkRadio. You can stream them at Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, iTunes, wherever you might get your podcasts, as well as view it and see our smiley faces over on our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel or our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page. And until next week, I want to wish all of you a very rich and happy week, and I will see you next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Take care, everybody.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your biggest takeaway was. Go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook and leave a comment or even a review of the show. And be sure not to miss a single episode every Tuesday. Go to Shedding the Bitch on YouTube and Apple Podcasts and be sure to subscribe. You can also learn more at balloffire.com. Coaching.com. See you next week.