End your Dry Spell of Desires, Intentions, Whatever it is, with Bernadette Boas

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/Shedding the bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. Happy, happy, happy July 24th to you. I hope it is good for you wherever you might be around the world. It is a beautiful day here in Atlanta, a lot of little heat, a lot of humidity, and quite honestly, I ran into someone this morning and I kind of mentioned to her and she confirmed, we've had a lot of rain this season. Now I know people out west with dealing with the fires and whatnot would love to have some of this rain without the lightning and whatnot. But once again, I was woken up in the middle of the night for about 3 or 4 hours of just torrential rains. And it's been like that for most of spring and summer. So it's a good thing from a water level drought situation. It's another thing when it's banging against your skylights, keeping you awake. But I hope you had a pleasant evening, a beautiful day, and I look forward and thrilled that you're here with us to talk about desires today. Desires, desires, and more desires, and we'll get to that in a minute. There really isn't any rich news. I am excited, my pup Coco and I, you might hear her in the background, she has a friend over today. Missy, and the two of them are just endlessly playing until the point of absolute exhaustion. But she and I— I've mentioned on previous shows that I'm mentally, emotionally, spiritually, even physically getting ready to go off and disconnect for a good bit of time on a remote island up in Canada. So we are getting packed and looking forward forward to that and, uh, just kind of wanting to really unwind and take a deep breath. And that's why this conversation in regards to, um, desires, uh, was kind of, uh, interesting to me because, um, I titled this program to be Your End of Your Dry Spell. And you can look at that and view that in, in any number of ways. Dry spell with your business, with your career, with your relationships, with your sex life, your monies, with your desires. And again, we'll define desires, but not necessarily your lustful desires, but just, you know, what gets you excited and what gets you up each and every morning. And those kind of desires can wane on occasion and, uh, kind of leave you feeling very vacant, very void. And I will kind of put up my hand and, and say that this came at a great time, this conversation. And then I'll talk to you about a meditation experience that I'm, um, I'm going through right now. But it all came at a really great time because as much as I do love waking up, putting my feet on the ground, and going after what gets me excited. Uh, this middle of the year is one of those transitional times for me, uh, and I've kind of picked up on this pattern over the last 4 or 5 years that I tend to start off the year with all this gusto, and I do last a good bit regarding my goals and my aspirations. And then— and I'm, and I'm always sticking to them, but I just feel this, uh, I feel this waning. I feel this kind of, um the fires being burned out. And it could be because the fact that sometimes, a lot of times in the middle of the year, I feel burned out because I always seem to go really, really hard. Um, and we'll talk about that because you might be experiencing the same thing. But what we want to do today is just discuss your desires, your intentions, whatever it is, and help you to kind of end that dry spell should you be experiencing one. At the same time, I get a lot of people who do kind of question how to tap into their desires and intentions. So we're going to talk all about that. But next week I want you to tune in. Now we're going to be talking to Remy Chausse. I hope I'm pronouncing that name correctly, about the magic of alchemy. And I'm very curious about this because it's all her whole approach to dissolving, as she says, the obstacles in your life. So I'm, I'm very much looking forward to having that conversation to kind of wrap up July. And then, if you can believe it, we are moving into August. And what does that mean? Well, that means that we have our first Tuesday of every month Ask Bernadette, or Ask Me Anything episode, where you can pose your stories, questions, and challenges that you might be having in your career, maybe in your own business, maybe in a relationship, some aspect of your life, maybe it's your fitness, whatever the case might be, you can post your questions, stories, or challenges out on Facebook or Twitter, Shedding the Bitch. You can do it also, look for Bernadette Boas and post them there. I get a lot of emails, whether it's— actually, I get more LinkedIn messages than anything. And so I'll get people emailing me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com, and you're more than welcome to do that as well. As well, you can go to LinkedIn, Bernadette Boas, and send me a message there. So however you can reach me, just reach me. And what I typically do is I will respond to you right away, and I'll give you very in-depth responses, tips, advice, whatever it is that you might be looking for. And I do as much as I can on Facebook and Twitter. Those 140 characters on Twitter. I know I've been expanded to more characters, haven't paid attention to just how many, but, but what I want to do is I want to really be able to dive into them deeply for you. So I bring them here, whatever questions I'm asked during that month, I bring them here to the first Tuesday of every month episode. And then you have an opportunity, should you choose to, to come on to the show by calling at any time, 1-818-572-2910, and you could talk to me directly. And if I know even before the episode that you'll be calling in, I'll make sure that I look out for you and Deborah as well. Um, excuse me, but, uh, at the same time, I will, um, make sure that your question— because I, I'll get sometimes too many and then sometimes few, and I want to be sure that I get to get to your question if you are going to take the time out of your day to call in for help. All right, so that'll be coming up the first Tuesday of every, every month, but the first Tuesday of August. And then we're going to be talking to Kristen Marquette, Susan Ball, Andrea Hall, the whole month of, of August. So you're definitely going to want to subscribe to our BlogTalks, Shedding the Bits radio channel. Be sure to follow us and subscribe there, and you'll get all the updates on our upcoming guests and the topics that we'll be discussing. And then at any time, you could be even posing topics of interest, because I do get a lot of them from you posed to me and recommended to me as to what it is that you want to be talking about, learning about, hearing about, and engaging, especially when we do have a guest on the show. But today we're going to be talking about, like I said, desires or the lack thereof. And you know, as I said, we all go through our ebbs and flows of when we're really high when it comes to our desires, goals, and intentions, and when we're just feeling blah and we might be in a dry spell. So I want you to be thinking about those things. I— we're going to be defining it. I'm going to give you a process around it. And then we're— I'm even going to give you some tips and advice as to how you can tap into either the ones that you're dealing with that might be waning or the ones that you don't even know about or maybe you haven't acknowledged. Okay, now I always leave you, if you're the first time listening to the program, I always leave you, um, with a question that I want you to be thinking about throughout the program, um, that has to do with the topic that we're discussing. So your rich question for today is going to be What do you desire right now? What are your desires? What are your intentions? And what actions have you been taking against those desires and intentions? And have you achieved any results? Now, there's gonna be many of you that are just gonna say no, no, no, no, no to all of that, and that's great because that's what we're gonna get into throughout the program. Those of you who say yes, yes, yes, and you know what your desires, intentions, actions, and results are, Well, that's a beautiful thing, and what I'm going to do is just kind of attempt to amp up those things. I love amping up, not just being status quo, not just giving you the general or the standard, but amping up your processes, your routines, whatever the case might be, so then you can even accelerate and excel in what it is that you're going after. So your rich question, what do you desire? What are your intentions toward that desire? What actions have you taken? What results?? And I know that sounds like a big question, but for those of you who have them set and are pursuing them, you'll understand that it's just very simple in order to respond to that. And for those of you who don't look at it as a process or a kind of a set of questions that you always want to tap into and be able to answer, that's okay too. We're going to give you a very simple way of doing that. All right, so that's your rich question. So your tags that you can be posting and Facebooking, tweeting with us, you can use hashtag desires, hashtag shed the bitch, and hashtag intentions. All right, all right. So with all of that said, we're gonna take a brief commercial break, and when we get back, we're gonna dive into this Conversation about your desires, intentions, your actions, and ultimately your results. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistants and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Businesses, email deborahparker@deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking desires, intentions, actions, and results today, just trying to make sure that you're tapped into them. And if you're not, then I want to give you some tips and tools in order to do so. Because there is nothing better— let's start with that— there's nothing better than when you first wake up in the morning and you kind of want to jump out of bed because whatever you're desiring, whatever you're working on, whatever you're really, you know, excited about energizes you and once, you know, forces you to want to go out into the world and start creating whatever that is, and then achieving, and then obviously getting those results that you want. And I often feel— I'll call it sad for a better word— but I often feel sad for those of, those of you who come to me and just kind of look at me and say, Bernadette, I just don't have anything that really wants once, you know, once to get me to jump out of bed and be excited about running out the door. I typically kind of drag myself out of bed if I didn't already hit the snooze button, and I kind of just go grab my coffee or my breakfast and make my way to a job that I'm not thrilled about, and then I drag myself home, lay on the couch from exhaustion or stress, whatever the case might be. And though I want to definitely, definitely help and support and lift those of you that are feeling that way, that latter example. I also want to amp up and really accelerate those of you who already are tapped into your desires, to your passions, to your interests, to your goals, and are pursuing them because there's always a way to amp things up, and we'll talk all about that. But I came across this quote that got me actually very excited and grounded in this conversation. And it actually— and I'll talk about it more in a second, but it actually was presented to me through the 21-day meditation experience that Deepak Chopra and Oprah had just initiated. It started Monday morning, started yesterday morning, and it's a 21-day event, experience. And I'll explain that in a second. But I came across this, um, quote, as you know, when I was doing my journaling within that meditation experience. And it's from Vanna Bonta, and it, and it says, it is an awesome thing to comprehend that what a human being dreams and imagines can be realized. Now, I really hung on to awesome and dreams and imagines and then realize. But let me repeat it, and if it's something that you want to also write down, I'll make sure I post it on Facebook and Twitter so you can make note of this quote from Vanna Bonta. It is an awesome thing to comprehend that what a human being dreams and imagines can be realized. Now many people would kind of read through that and run right past kind of those keywords, at least the keywords that jump out for me. They could be different from you, but I loved when it said awesome. It is an awesome thing. It is an unbelievable thing. It is a fulfilling and joyful thing when all the hard work that you are doing and all the exhaustion you might be experiencing and all the ups and downs that you're willing to take on in pursuit of your dreams and imagination, um, is, is coming as a result of it being your desire, it being your passion, your goal. It is awesome when you can, uh, not only take action on them, but you can achieve them. You can get results, as you know, from them. Uh, awesome is a great word to explain that. Um, and then when When I do think about what it is that I get excited about, it is my dreams, it is my imagination, it is my creativity, it is my goals, it is my desires, it is my desires. And then can be realized is, well, you know what, yes, as junky as the world can seem at times, as chaotic and overwhelming and dramatic as the world can appear, it is nice and it is awesome to think that yes, no matter what, we have, you have and possess everything you need right now at this very moment to achieve whatever desire, intention, goal that you have. And that is an awesome thing. So I absolutely love that. So let me touch on, should you want an immediate tool that you could be leveraging? Let me touch on that 21-day meditation experience that I had mentioned. I started doing these about— I want to say it could— this could be my 4th year of really wanting to and setting my intention to give myself, find myself that time to go through these 21-day experiences. It's Deepak Chopra. And Oprah Winfrey. They have, they have kind of come together to provide these meditation experiences, and it is a 21-day journey. Each day you're getting anywhere from an 18 to 21 minute audio on their portal that you can listen to. Each day also has a message of the day, so they help ground you, almost like my rich question. They help ground you and, um, the, the meditation for the day that also kind of always goes back to their overall, uh, subject matter, which this, this month is the energy of attraction, desires basically. And that's what got me very excited. And then they also have an area for you to journal, and in this area where you can journal, they always pose 4 questions to you relevant to the subject matter. So that, you know, so, so far they've asked, and we're going to touch on them ourselves. Like, one of the questions, for instance, I think the very first question that was asked yesterday morning was, what would your life be without desires, without interest, without hope, without dreams, without goals? And when I read this question, I immediately went dark? And meaning that, oh, it just— I didn't like that feeling at all. And I'm going to be posing that question to you. You don't need to be thinking about it right now, but I think it's a great question. And when I realized how much it moved me, I realized that that is a powerful question for us to be asking ourselves. We often ask ourselves what it is that we want and you know, what it is that we have and don't have, but I never really thought about what would life be because I just can't imagine it. It's almost like when I have conversations with my friends about religion, about prayer, about faith, and I have a number of, whether it's agnostic or atheist friends, and I'm not one to judge, but to me, you know, a life without faith and prayer is just I just, I can't even comprehend. I can't even comprehend it. So, you know, when I thought about it, when that question was posed to me yesterday morning in regards to, well, what would your life be without desires and interests and passions and goals? I had that same kind of feeling come up. I just couldn't comprehend it. So anyway, that be said, so this is a great program and I don't work for Oprah as much as I would love to. I don't pitch, I don't get anything for promoting their 21-day experiences, but 4 years ago when I started doing them, I had to force myself. I had to set an intention that really committed me and I had to make a decision that I wanted to go through this 21 days. I wanted to see what this whole thing about meditation was about and this whole thing about self-awareness and this whole thing about law of attraction. I really, as much as I am a leadership coach and a business coach, I really didn't get into any of the woo-woo personal transformation aspects. I knew it was important, but I didn't look at it anywhere near the way I do today. And I will say that as a result of these experiences and these meditation journeys that Deepak and Oprah take you on, and if you're not one, like I wasn't, you're not one to kind of quiet yourself for 1 minute, let alone 21 minutes, Let me just tell you, I am not either. If any of you know me, let alone met me in person, you wouldn't— you'll know that I'm called a ball of fire for a reason. I have a very hard time quieting down, settling down, whether it's physically or even mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And so I— this was a challenge for me, and I wanted that challenge. That was my desire that I turned into an intention, and I made a decision on, and I took action on. And I tell you what, at first it was uncomfortable and very challenging to just sit still for a minute, let alone for 21. And yet, I would say within the first week, going into the second week maybe, I was hoping that 21 minutes wouldn't end because I was finding such a peace and a quiet and a stillness that allowed my brain and my body and my mind to just quiet down and settle down. And it has been a beautiful thing. They do them about once a quarter. So should you want to kind of learn, if you're— you haven't done meditation or you want a new and a different meditation experience, you can always go to chopracentermeditation.com. ChopraCenterMeditation.com. You can— you can always Google Deepak or Oprah and you'll find it. And I would just, you know, kind of offer up to you that it is a very transformative experience, and it certainly has been for me. But that one question, what would your life look like if you had no desires, interests, passions, or goals? What would it look like? It's something that now I would ask you to kind of think about. Because it would complement that Rich question of the day is, what are your desires, goals, and dreams? And you probably get excited when you think about them, yet then all of a sudden you're being asked to think about what would it be like if you didn't have any desires, goals, and dreams? And I, you know, will say again, many of you may be able to say, I don't have any, or if I do, I'm not aware of them, I haven't tapped into them. Many of you just haven't admitted and acknowledged them. It's a scary thing to pursue your goals and your dreams and what it is that you want, and we'll talk about that, um, in a bit. Uh, it's scary, and many people tell me it's scary. It's almost like when people of faith do pray, they sometimes are afraid to actually pray and ask for what it is that they want, because what it is that they want might not— might be exactly what it appears that they don't want. So let me give you a for instance, because I— that might, might have gotten convoluted. So I was watching a program the other night, and it was talking about, um, a family, uh, who was going through a very trying situation with their two sons, different ages, and they both had this illness that no one could diagnose, and they had it for 10, 12, 14 years, and no one could diagnose what it was, but it was killing them. It was literally killing them. And so, you know, this couple was a very faith-based couple, and they were praying on a regular basis. And, you know, a year goes by, 5 years goes by, a decade goes by, and they just kind of kept feeling as if they weren't getting depth in their prayer, in their ask, as they, they need to be. And she acknowledged, admitted that she didn't ask for healing of her son. She could never get herself to that point of asking for it because she thought that the healing that she might be given would be her son's passing and her son's dying in order to heal them so they're no longer suffering, so they're not no longer going through this, um, this life that was just kind of slowly killing themselves. So she would never ever ever get to that point. And that is scary because sometimes we're going to get what we want. And whether you're— you have a fear of success or fear of failure, you know, even asking and getting what it is that you want that looks really great, you know, you know that it's going to change your life in one way, shape, or form. And it's a scary thing. It means change. And we all know how people just run, run, run as fast as they can away from change. So consider that. Think about that. If you're one of those people who have not been able to answer that question about what are your desires, what are your interests, what are your intentions, your actions, and what results have you received from them. It's okay if you just haven't gotten to the point of wanting to acknowledge a desire because you're afraid that if you do, it's going to force you to start either acting on it or making decisions about it, and that phase can be scary. Uh, we'll talk through all of that and, and get you to a point where, um, you're willing, you're willing, um, because you believe, you're willing to face that no matter what the outcome, because getting what you want is what your intention is. And you have to take risks, you have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to do so. All right, um, so just think about that question: what would your life be like if you didn't have them? And if you don't have them, that's okay. Start— we'll, we'll talk through how you can start considering them. This whole conversation is we talk about quite often here at Shedding the Bitch, and we talk about it a lot simply because I'm regularly amazed, day in and day out, every day I'm amazed how for 45, 48 years I lived with very little self-awareness. And that is what life is about— how you experience life and what you experience from life. It's all about self-awareness. You know, being very present. And all those words sounded so wishy-washy and woo-woo to me in the past, but it's astounding to me, astounding, it's awesome to me to realize that being self-aware and being very present and knowing, you know, where your mind, body, and spirit is at every moment in time is such a driver and influencer on kind of what your day looks like, what your week looks like, what your life looks like. So that's what this is all about, is just bringing self-awareness to the forefront so maybe then you can acknowledge and then put plans together to go and either define, tap back into, and, you know, or create new desires. All right, let me see, let me see. We're going to take a quick break, and when we get back, I also want to talk through with you a kind of a stepping, a stepping stone or a stepping process of just what impact your thoughts have to your desires, to the results that you're achieving every day in your life. And then we're going to break that down, and that's where we're going to get into tips and advice and sometimes some tough love in order for you to be able to maximize and achieve the goals and the desires that you have in life. All right, we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com consulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are having a conversation in regards to desires. What are your desires? Are you in a dry spell? Are you just kind of, you know, feeling void, maybe just vacant of real passion that's getting you excited to want to jump out of bed every day and tackle the world with all the gusto that you have? If you say yes in any, you know, way, shape, or form, I'm with you. I mentioned at the top of the hour It's July, it's kind of that mid-year point, and I often get to that, to a point where, um, I just, I, I, I more so physically get exhausted, but, but physical exhaustion also leads to mental, emotional, spiritual, like all of it. And, um, it's when I also need to just kind of plug back in and kind of think through and remind myself about what it is that I'm doing, why am I doing it, and then kind of either I'm going to continue with it and reenergize myself or I need to make some changes. So many of you though that talk to me, whether it's through my speaking engagements or the radio program or my training workshops or just when I run into you on the street, many of you just say, "I just haven't figured it out yet," and that's okay. Absolutely okay. The only thing I would challenge you with is let's make sure that whether you're 20 years old or you're 50 or you're 75, let's make sure that you are focused on at least working towards, you know, figuring it out. It's as simple as that because I, you know, this life goes really fast. You only get one of them. And why not really understand what gets your GOAT going? You know, what gets you really, really excited, what gets you really courageous, what gets you really feeling like a master and confident and determined and persistent toward going out and working your butt off to achieve whatever that desire, whatever that goal and dream is. So let's work together to help figure that out for each of us. So it can begin with really understanding almost like the mind cycle, I call it, of kind of how your thoughts get to your end result. And I often tell my clients that I always want them to think about the end when they're starting off. Where is it that you're going? Almost think about it, if it's simple enough, think about it if you're going on a road trip. You certainly want to understand how you're going to get from point A to point B to point C to point D, but you ultimately really want to make sure that you want to understand how to get from A to Z successfully with minimal obstacles, minimal highs and lows, minimal successes and missteps. You want to keep that end state in mind, and the end state in this case is results, is achievement, and whatever that might look like. But let's, you know, let's break it down so you have a clear understanding of really kind of how do your thoughts influence those results. Now it might seem simple, and many people will tell you, you know, what you think is what, you know, is what you attract. And what you attract is what your life is or isn't. But there's a lot of things in between that, and you'll see a variation of this if you Google just anything about how to achieve your goals or how to master your mindset or, you know, how to define your dreams and your desires. You'll find variations on this, but this is my variation. So you first have thoughts, and we're going to break this down. I'm going to give it to you as a total complete, what I'll call that mindset process. And then we're going to break it down. So you have thoughts, which drive feelings, which drive your desires, intentions, and even your decisions. And those drive your actions that you, you take, the belief that you have, and what it is that you're doing, ultimately ending in the result that you're looking for. And a lot of times the result is very, very different than what you set out to do, and that's because any one of these things as you go along could change or could change direction even, and therefore steer your ultimate result differently. In a lot of cases, it turns out to be much better than it is. If you hear people that you know, say, and they appear to be overnight successes, for instance, and one, they'll tell you, you know, I've been working my little tail off, I'm not an overnight success, you just haven't seen it. But then, you know, you ask them, so now that you've achieved it, you know, how does it feel? And they'll say, I could never have imagined that it would be this and it would feel like this and it would look like this. And that's, Beautiful. Now, there's sometimes people, you know, get to a result and, um, you know, for full disclosure, I was having a conversation with my coach last week and I myself found myself, um, uh, disappointed, I'll say, in the results on, on a couple of things that I've achieved thus far this year on the goals that I set. Uh, now I mentioned it last week that she and I had to get very narrow and focused because I tend to I tend to go wide and shallow, and, you know, we talked about the fact that that could be part of the reason why my results weren't what I expected, so we've made some shifts there. So however you get from your thoughts to your feelings to your desires to your intentions to your decisions and the actions and the beliefs that you have will either get the result that you want exceed the results that you wanted or fall short of them. And so what I needed to do, and what we'll walk through, is I needed to go back and look at all of those steps, so to speak, and work to figure out, work to see if I can tap into what changed. What did— where did I lose momentum? I gained it in some places, lost it in others. And therefore what influenced the result that I received, and what could I have done differently if not staying on the same path? What could I have done differently to get and influence a different result? So thoughts drive your feelings, which drive your desires, your intentions, the decisions that you make, the actions you're willing to take, the beliefs that you have. And all of that drives the results or what your life looks like. So therefore, when people say how you think drives, you know, what your life looks like, that's true. It sounds extremely simple and it's not. We all know it. So let's break that down, shall we? All right, so let's start with your thoughts. Now, this was definitely an area even I've continued to work on and continue to master while I'm also continuing to learn different tips and techniques and tools to then pass on to my clients. But, you know, when you think about it, for, you know, many of us, it's much easier to put a negative thought in our head and to keep that there than it is to kind of recognize, honor— as we call it, honor your riches— honor the positive and the beautiful thoughts, to keep them inside. It's much easier to— for whatever reason that we each have, um, it feels more comfortable to look at the negative than the, than the positive. And so one of the first things when it comes to influencing your thoughts is, okay, so how can I control them? How can I influence my thoughts to go more into the, into the thought processes of positivity, productivity, you know, honoring those riches, you know, staying confident and focused and persistent on driving out good thoughts as opposed to negative thoughts. And again, this is all about self-awareness. It's all about self-awareness. It's all about the moment that, you know, Well, I want to step back. It all can start, and I talk about this technique that I've learned many years ago. Well, I shouldn't say that because I say I learned it about 7 or 8 years ago. I learned this technique that I teach my clients a lot, and that is although you dream and, you know, your thoughts drive your dreams, we're going to finish there as opposed to start there. So where I start is when my eyes start to flicker and I'm about to wake up, and I used to get, you know, open my eyes, the alarm would go off or my natural alarm clock would go off and I would jump out of bed, race to the shower, race to the breakfast, race out the door and never even slow down enough to think about anything except that to-do list that I have in my head. Who can relate to this? I'm sure every one of you listening can relate to this. Well, I all of a sudden learned where I would wake up, those— my eyes would start flickering, I'd start seeing some light, and if it's not light, you know, it would be just recognition of where I am, and I would stop myself from getting up. I would stop myself from moving. If my— if I did set an alarm, I haven't set an alarm though in, gosh, 20, 25 years. So it's just a natural. And so I'll, you know, I'll wake up and before I go and do that mad dash, I no longer do a mad dash. I sit and I lie there, rather I should say, I lie there recognizing that yes, I'm now awake. And even with my dog, whether it was Charlie, you know, before, or Coco now, I would acknowledge that they're there, but I would sit still and I would take an assessment from my head to my toes, inside and out, as to how I was feeling. So I would consider my physical, my mental, my emotional, my spiritual, everything. And if I feel a little off, if I feel a little groggy, or I feel a little agitated, or I feel energized, or I feel, you know, kind of relaxed, quiet. If I feel, you know, stimulated, whatever it is, I acknowledge it. Remember self-awareness. I acknowledge it, and if it's what I don't want, I get out of that bed. I don't move and take off for the day until I can make some shifts because you can control what you're thinking. You can control those thoughts which then, like I said before, drive your feelings. Right? So, you know, that is a place where you can start is first thing in the morning, would you rather jump out of bed and be excited or calm, cool and relaxed about going out into the world, or would you rather, you know, get up and if you are agitated or groggy or you're not feeling well in any way, shape, or form, you go out in the world in that kind of state of mind because remember your thoughts drive your feelings. And if you are a believer in law of attraction, what you're putting out into the world is what you're going to get back. So if you're going to put out joy and, and peace and happiness and just excitement about, you know, living, then that's what you're going to get back. If you're going to go out in the world with agitation and grogginess and just not feeling good, you know, it's— that's what's going to come back. And think about it, Think about it. When you are not feeling well and you're kind of mopey and you're kind of just very lethargic or just very tired, just think about what the world looks like to you. And it looks like that because that's what you're putting out into it. So it feels as if everybody is being very loud or very impatient or they're just agitating you or or everything's going wrong, oh, boo-hoo, my life sucks, because that's what you're giving it. The minute you decide differently and the minute you work to shift that and you kind of ask yourself, is this negative thought real or can I influence it, you can then kind of take control of it and change it. And so, you know, recognizing that your thoughts are driving everything will allow you to then say, well, then I can take control and make those changes. So let me give you a few examples. So when you recognize that you have a negative thought and you work to change it, you know, when I go to sales meetings and I, you know, I'm not looking forward to it, I'm potential rejection, and I would have the tendency, especially in the past, to kind of be negative about it as I go. I now have some affirmations and some quotes and some mind games that I, you know, that I will use to shift that thought process to where I'm upbeat, I'm positive, I'm confident, and I'm okay with the fact that, you know, if they say no, it's not about me. If they say no, it just might not be the right time. If they say yes, I'll be, you know, jubilant. And all of a sudden I can feel my whole, you know, body and my whole being shift. This happened to a friend of mine just the other day. It's a very long story, I won't go into it at all, but she has an illness and she was in an accident, so she is expecting some monies through a lawsuit. She hired a lawyer to help her with the lawsuit, and the, the, the, um, oh, I just lost it. Their compensation, their percentage, the contingency that they wanted was very high, like 80%, and she'd get 20% of it. Well, she's drowning in debt, she's drowning in, in medical bills, she's drowning in not being able to work, and she was wanting, or she was boohooing about— I'll be honest, she was boohooing about needing to, or wanting to have, desiring to have more than just that 20%. She just didn't know how to go about doing it, and her mindset, her mental state wasn't allowing her to. So she reached out and we had a conversation, and she— I said, look, write out what you're thinking about that you want to propose to this lawyer. And you know, no one has a great feeling about lawyers. That they'll be very supportive or very compassionate. But I kind of needed her to kind of void her mind of any of those negative thoughts. So just put out what it is that you're looking for and why, but take the emotion out of the why. Certainly get his emotions up, you know, let them know that you're going through this illness and it's created the situation and it's putting you in, in major debt and you just need to be able to you know, blah blah blah, whatever the case might be. I said, just, you know, but do it, but do it from a positive, from a neutral state of being, a logical state of being. Send it to me, you know, I might have to wordcraft for you, and, and we'll be done. So when I received it, I was thrilled to see that she definitely took her thoughts, shifted them, and was able to influence her feelings toward the fact that this guy— gal or guy— but this guy wasn't just automatically going to be like, no, I, you know, I'm not going to change my, my plan. She actually, you know, wrote it in a way that was going to appear more open to him considering and potentially making a change into what they've already agreed to. And so, you know, I did wordsmith a little bit of it. She sent it. And all of a sudden she called me yesterday and she said— and she actually wanted me to meet her in person— to tell me that she— her lawyer did come through and make a major shift and change in that arrangement that they had. And she was in tears with jubilation, and she acknowledged the fact that— not in using those exact words— but she acknowledged the fact that changing her mindset toward the process allowed her to shift her feelings about what it was that she was doing, what she was dealing with, and her desire intention was to get him to understand that and be compassionate toward that, to where then she wrote this letter and she just stuck to a belief that he would come through, and he did. So we definitely— you definitely have the ability, even if you're feeling nasty right now at this moment in time. Maybe my voice is agitating you, maybe the boss is yelling at you, maybe the kids are kicking at you, or like myself, the puppies who are now sleeping actually, but they're jumping all over you and your thoughts are just like, I just need everybody away from me. Well, you can automatically realize that your endgame is a certain result and you want to shift out of having that negative thought into a more positive experience. So you can move forward in kind of adjusting the end result. But it has to come through self-awareness that this negative thought is coming in your mind or this negative thought is already there and it's eating at you. You have the ability to kind of tell yourself, is this a real negative thought? Is this a real— is this something I truly believe in? That I'm not worthy, that I'm not good enough, that I'm just going to be rejected, that I, you know, aren't deserving of something, whatever the case might be, you have the ability to take that thought and make an immediate shift. And if it's not an immediate shift, uh, then we'll move on to feeling, because whatever that is, whatever that thought is, is going to influence how you feel. If you're thinking that you're that you're not deserving, that you're not worthy, if you're thinking that the day is black, you know, the clouds are black and they're not blue, then that's going to cause you to feel a certain way. But if you feel that, yes, I'm worthy, I'm deserving, I work my tail off, I'm serving others, I'm doing it for the good, the clouds are blue, they might be a little dark, they might be a little cloudy, there might be rain in the forecast, but I see the blue through all those clouds, then your feelings are going to be lighter and more comfortable and maybe happy, maybe joyful, maybe, you know, confident and energized and determined, and those are all beautiful feelings, right? So recognizing that your thoughts drive your feelings will then help you realize that you need to shift what you're saying to yourself. You need to shift what you're thinking. You need to shift what you're allowing to seep into your subconscious because that will influence just how you're feeling. And so I get pushback on this a lot, but I spent most of my, especially my corporate career, faking it until I made it. And I believe it's a great strategy to use. So if you're, if you're working on thinking a different way. If you are negative or agitated or just feeling down or not as confident as you'd like, maybe you're feeling insecure, there is nothing to say that you can't put on a front, you can't become an actor or an actress and you can't put on a front. Maybe you change your clothes, maybe you put on some lipstick, maybe you get a haircut, maybe you wear, buy new clothes. And you allow that to shift how you feel and what you're thinking about, all the power to you. Go for it. Just go for it. And don't let anybody tell you differently because I do believe that faking it until you make it, until you shift it, until you feel it is perfectly okay and is a strategy that works for many. So I would tell you to, you know, if you want to work on— as you're massaging your thoughts and you're shifting your thoughts and you're not completely there, you don't completely believe, which we'll get to, but you know, there's nothing wrong with faking it until you make it. And, and, but what I would tell you to do though is just stay away, stay self-aware and that you are making the shifts so you can appropriately start living it and making it and no longer faking it. 'Cause I went down the path where I faked it for so long that I started believing in that fake version of me. And that fake version of me, though it might have appeared outwardly that I was confident, that I was strong and courageous, inwardly it was still beating the living crap out of me, and I was anything but. So you definitely want to always recognize and be self-aware of when your thoughts and your feelings are going from maybe fabricated, or maybe you've just been lying to yourself in those thoughts, because we do that a lot. We lie to ourselves that we're not good enough, that we're not You know, if you know the acronym for fear, false evidence appearing real, that's basically lies. That's basically lies you're telling yourself, you know, because it's more comfortable, it's easier. You know, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough, I don't deserve something. That's much easier for people for whatever reason, but I'm one of those people at times, than it is to say I am deserving, I am confident, I am strong. I am worthy and I deserve what it is that I am receiving. And so people feel as if they're going to be arrogant or cocky or they're taking something for granted when they feel that way. And you want to feel that way. You want to feel that way and do it respectfully, do it maturely, do it— purposely, uh, as opposed to arrogant or cocky or conceited or arrogant. But you definitely want to get to a place where you are confident and strong and courageous, and you take those risks and you honor your riches. And let other people who are not comfortable with that because they're not— let them make those shifts and those adjustments, um, as opposed to pulling you down from them. So that's how you take your thoughts in you influence you and your feelings. Now, where your desires are concerned, you know, there can be very fake, artificial, short-term, lustful desires, you know, for food, for alcohol, for sex, whatever the case might be, greed. That's certainly a desire, but that's not a real desire. Real desires come from the heart. Real desires come from the love. Real desires allow you, and you know, you almost want to force yourself to compromise, to sacrifice, to give up, to do anything in order to pursue that desire because it's coming from a place of love and a place of joy and a place of your heart and your soul and every being. And, you know, people told me for a long time when I was writing my script why I was putting myself through working 7 days a week, you know, 8 or 9 hours a day both at my income-generating work but also on the weekends at the library or at Caribou Coffee or wherever the case might be. And I just told them, because I absolutely, with every cell in my being, love this process of writing, love this process of learning a treatment and learning how to write a script and pitching it and doing— I just absolutely love everything about it. And that's why I was able to jump out, out of bed after I kind of assess myself and go out in the world and do that and put all that energy and all that time, what other people were finding to be exhaustive, non-income-generating time, I was able to do it without blinking an eye because I wanted it that bad. So that's what your desires are and that's how you want to tap into them. But you have to— desires are one level of any achievement. You have to really under— then make intentions in regards to what are you gonna do about those desires. But intentions are a deeper commitment, but it's more like, okay, I intend to, but if I don't, I don't, and if I do, I do. So as much as I love intentions and I set intentions, what I want you to do is amp 'em up. I want you to take that desire, define your intentions toward that desire, but then make a decision that you're gonna act on those intentions toward those desires. Because without those decisions, you're waffling. You're just going to be like, okay, yeah, I intended to do it, but I didn't. Oh well. Decisions make you say, I'm committed, I'm accountable, I'm responsible, and I'm going to take action on it. And then as long as your belief system is always there, you believe in this desire, you believe in this heart, you believe in this love, you believe in this purpose, this why, this intention of why I'm working my little tail off, uh, you will get the result that you want. Now, these times always go so fast, and there's always so much more that I want to be talking about. So give me your thoughts, give me your inputs, give me anything that you, you know, uh, feel that just went a little bit too fast and you want to dive deeper into, and I'd be more than happy to do so because we can talk about this for a long time. But then come back next Tuesday at noon Eastern time because Remy Chausse, I'm telling you, this subject around alchemy, I'm even interested in learning how I can master that in order to remove, dissolve as she says, any obstacles that get in my way. And again, we have a whole list of guests coming up, so follow the program and I'll look forward to seeing you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Have a great week, everybody.

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Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.