Good Riddance to 2020 and Hello 2021!

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

What I thought we would talk about today is kind of a wrap-up of 2020, 2020, the current year, and ensuring that we are looking at all aspects of what's occurred this past year, and then definitely kind of putting our sights on the new year. Um, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Um, but before we get into all that, I want to thank our new listeners or viewers. I so appreciate you finding us, um, whether it's on any one of the streaming, uh, services out there and/or BlogTalkRadio. You might even find us on sheddingthebitch.com or even in our Shedding the Bitch Facebook, uh, page when we do broadcast live. And I just always appreciate new listeners, new viewers, new viewpoints. New comments, new ideas and suggestions. So at any point in time that you would have that, please be sure to reach out to me directly, whether that's in a DM right here on Facebook, whether it is through the, the chat room on blogtalkradio.com, or even email me directly, Bernadette Boas at ball of fire inc.com. We, we are revamping some things for 2021. So we'd love your thoughts and your ideas and your suggestions. And if you have any recommendations of not only topics but of people that you would love to hear from, then certainly be sure to pass that on to us as well. But for all of you new listeners and viewers, please leave your comments, like, like the programs, like the posts, uh, subscribe, follow, um, rate. On iTunes, we'd love to get your rating of the show so we can get our, you know, more ears and eyes onto the program. And then of course, our ongoing listeners and viewers who have made the show and the community as rich as it is. We certainly appreciate your continued listening, your continued comments, feedback, so forth and so on. So continue to do so. As we work really hard to expand our audience and our reach so we can help as many, as many people as possible really shed their bitches of fear, insecurities, doubts, and negativities, whether it has to do with their work, their home, their relationships, their finances, whatever it might be, so they create riches in their life in place of all of that heaviness and all that burden that they might be feeling and experiencing. So, um, you know, invite your friends, invite your colleagues, and share within your own social networks, and we'd always be greatly appreciated for that. Um, okay, and of course, this episode is being brought to you by North Georgia Tax Solutions, a full-service financial and tax services company located here in Georgia, but they service all over the country. So don't hesitate to reach out to Debbie Snelling and her team at North Georgia Tax Solutions. You can go to ngtaxsolutions.com and tell her I said hi. And check her— check them out because she has a fabulous team. They do awesome work. And when I say they are your partner in whatever that is financial or tax regarding I'm not kidding, they are an awesome group of, of individuals and professionals, and I've used them and partnered with them for many years now. So be sure to check them out. All right, I grabbed the wrong piece of paper for the show today. However, I don't need it. We are talking 2020 and 2021. And what I thought we would talk about is just even what I'm, you know, kind of walking through right now, because I definitely— I always want to put, you know, put an end, um, close the chapter, turn the page, close the book even, um, on pretty much anything, um, in life, you know, because the past is the past. All we have is actually right now, let alone even the future. So it's really important for us though, but before we do, before we put it behind us, to really take some time to consider all of it. Now last week we did talk about finding the silver lining in 2020. So go back and take a listen or a watch for that episode, because what is really important for us to recognize and acknowledge and honor is not only when we have, you know, struggles like we— many of us have throughout the year. We don't want to just sit in that. God, that's a little— that's kind of just crappy, uh, you know, that's just a, quite honestly, a pile of shit you just don't want to hold on to. Yet at the same time, if you look at all of it, uh, good, bad, or indifferent, beauty marks or warts, you, you most likely will find a great many, uh, blessings and lessons that you can carry forward. And that's what we talked about last, last week. So it's not— that's not what we want to talk about today. I really would like to talk about just what are some questions you could be asking yourself to kind of really assess and recap last year and determine kind of what is it that you achieved? What is it that you didn't? Why is that? And then what do you want to bring forward with you into the new year, into your new plans, into your new goals? All right, um, but do take a listen, um, or view, um, of the episode from last week. You can find the video still on Shedding the Bitch, uh, Facebook page. Um, you will, you, you will be able to find it on our Shedding the Bitch TV YouTube channel. And then the, uh, audio, the episode is also on BlogTalkRadio, all the streaming services. As well as on sheddingthebitch.com, and you can take a listen at any of those places as well. All right, um, so let's see. Oh, so some of the, some of the kind of the questions that I've even been asking myself, um, reflecting on, you know, overall this year. And I— we will talk specifically not only, you know, reflecting personally, but even reflecting on your business or your career. What were those goals that you defined and what were you able to accomplish or what do you still need to work on and what's changed? And all that is great, great intel for you to use as you work your way into the new year. So the first thing I, you know, tend to suggest to my clients and myself to think about is what did you learn? What did you take away you know, as kind of learnings, as growth this past year? For me, I can tell you, one thing I learned greatly about myself first was that I do have, I do have a lot of patience if I choose to want to be patient. And why I say it like that is typically I am just so kind of always going, going, going, going, going, going, and always want things, you know, done yesterday, whether that's, you know, pressure I put on myself or pressure I even put on other people, quite, quite honestly, just telling you the truth. Yet at the same time, what this past year really taught me is that all, you know, I just need to be patient. I just need to recognize that not only do other people operate at different speeds and different motivations and different agendas and objectives and goals that they have for themselves than what I might have. But at the same time, I too need to stop putting so much pressure on myself and simply be a lot more patient in, in what I do, how I do it, when I do it, what my end goal or objective is, and not put and not put— I'm checking my mute button if you're watching online. I felt like I hit my mute button. But not put so much pressure on myself, just to be patient and really just allow things to happen as they are. And that brings me to another, another learning that I, that I really found about myself this past year, or I worked on really hard.

And that—

and maybe you have as well. And that is being present, being in the now. And yes, I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now. I even started reading another book, it's called The Science of Getting Rich. And it's a book from like the early 1900s. Roughly. And he talks about— and I'm avoiding saying his name because I'm drawing a blank right now— but he talks about, you know, appreciating being present. And it's not, it's not the basis of the book, but the appreciation of being present, you know, maintaining your, your faith and your purpose in order to stay focused and stay out of all the junk of mind games that, um, you'll play on yourself that then cause you to procrastinate or delay or avoid and just not reach your goal or objective. Um, and so he— it's, you know, it's not heavy on the now, yet that's his main message is just spend, you know, your time each and every day really focusing on not even your hard skills but those soft skills of patience, of purpose, of your why, of your commitment, of your focus on the goals and the dreams that you have, whatever they might be. And so I certainly will take away from this year my kind of new— hopefully my long-term and newfound focus on patience and on being present, being right here, not worrying about, you know, what's going to happen 5 minutes from now, or even kind of holding on, you know, the heaviness of what might have happened in the past, good, bad, or indifferent. So what have you learned? What have you learned about yourself? What was that new skill, hobby, talent that you learned? This past year. Not that I learned it, but my sister helped, and I mentioned this last week, but my sister helped me to find my kind of my excitement about painting. So we did some painting on our sister's beach trip in November, and the next thing you know, I'm buying myself a painting kit and finding that it's just another, you know, way for me to sit, be still, be patient, and really just have fun, not only with the design, the creativity, but even the coloring, you know, the colors and the combinations, creating the combination of colors to then, you know, be a hue that you can use within, within the sketching. So, you know, painting just brought to me a lot of excitement and actually memory. Of what I loved doing when I was younger. And actually, my youngest brother Britt pointed that out when we did, you know, kind of take a picture and display our paintings on Facebook. Uh, we were kind of, uh, challenging our brothers to pick which one of the girls, which one of the sisters painted which painting. And my brother Britt happened to comment, oh, that must be Bernadette. She used to you know, sketch and draw all the time when she was younger. And I was like, wow, I never realized that someone actually paid attention to that, uh, because, you know, that was— I mean, he probably was 8, 9, 10, and I was in my teens. So I just found that to be, uh, kind of a nice memory to bring back, uh, from many, many, many years ago. And, uh, so learning that and, uh you know, starting that again has been a real, real— brought real joy to my world. So how about you? What have you learned from this past year about yourself personally or professionally? Um, what have you, you know, started doing that you didn't do before? Um, I would say, um, another thing that I learned is that you definitely, regardless of what place or what station of your business or your career that you're at. I definitely learned that I cannot do it myself. Now, what I mean by that is I've always had a coach in my corner. I've mentioned in the past, though, in the past several months, that a longtime coach that I had had for many years actually retired early last year. So last year I went pretty much without a what I'll call a business/personal coach. While at the same time I did have a writing coach because I was working on my script most of 2019. This year I went looking for a new coach and have found one. So it's nice to kind of have that, you know, that security again and that support. But I'm talking more so even not going alone in other parts of my business and other parts of my life, especially when it comes to the business and it comes to me trying to figure everything out, whether that's technology, whether that's marketing, whether that's, you know, HR, whatever the case might be. I just decided I've always known that obviously I'm a business coach and consultant. I've always known that for other people. And I always am very successful in, in supporting my clients and making sure they have their network, they have their posse, they have their team pulled together. And yet at the same time, I'm kind of in multiple, you know, places wearing multiple hats, and I don't, I don't take the time to do it myself. It's almost like, you know, the dentist who never takes care of their own teeth, or the hairdresser who never really has a chance to get her own hair done. And I'm using cosmetic examples, which is probably contrary, because they're always concerned about what they look like. But you get the point. You get the point. So I, you know, it was definitely another learning from this past year is just, you know, not needing to go it alone. And if that means, you know, making investments in people, resources that I typically wouldn't have, or I wouldn't have done it at that particular time, I still said, no, I'm doing that. And I'm making sure I get that done. So consider for yourself, you know, what have you learned and what have you started doing differently than you did before? You might find that, you know, even though it's something very simple that you probably are even taking for granted, it's something that has, has changed you, has allowed you to shift this past year in the midst of so much going on around you. So consider that for yourself. What have you stopped doing? And this is a big one for many people. As far as, you know, many people have learned to really appreciate what's gone on this past year and recognizing that, recognizing that they want more than what they had. And when I say more, it's not quantity, it's quality. Quality. So, and a perfect example of this, which I found very interesting, is, as many of you know, I've had multiple programs that have used the word riches, even my book, it, you know, it's Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. And then my programs are Shift to Riches, Goals to Riches, you get the, you get the point. And so I was having a conversation with a marketing individual. And maybe it's just my own, my own degree of practice with my faith and in spirituality, in self-growth, whatever you might want to call it. But so she, you know, came back and commented on the fact that, well, you realize that Shift to Riches, Goals to Riches, people aren't looking for money. They're not putting money as a priority. So you focusing on money may not be very effective. And she kept, you know, emphasizing money, money, money. And I said to her, I said, well, you know, how do you define riches? And she's like, well, I'm assuming you're talking money. And I'm like, well, actually, I'm talking everything but almost. I mean, yes, of course, there's a monetary element to riches, even in my world. But overall, riches that I'm looking for, you or anyone else and myself, to create in their lives is everything but, you know, it's the peace, it's joy, it's happiness, it's contentment, it's love, it's connection, engagement, um, so forth and so on. And yet this individual, which I had to remind myself, this is one person, you know, who is giving their perception of what it is that you're doing, and therefore I can't get wrapped up in it because she might be focused on, you know, getting monetarily rich. And therefore, that's what all she's seeing and hearing and, and kind of feeling is that it's a monetary conversation. And, you know, I really sat back because I thought to myself, hmm, that's, you know, that's an interesting perspective. And again, there's going to be individuals like her, or, you know, there will be hims as well, that will look at that word as, um, as monetary, monetary, um, but yet the, the community, the audience, the, the group of individuals that I'm looking to connect with and I'm expecting that I'm connecting with are those that see that riches is so much more, is so much more than just, um, a bank account. And so, but I had to sit back and I had to consider you know, that feedback without dismissing it right away. But then I had to ensure— and this is a, you know, kind of a tip for you too— I had to ensure that I didn't knee-jerk respond or even go and make changes to something because of one person's perspective. And so what I would, you know, also stress to you as well is, as even you're assessing what worked and what didn't work this past year, what you want to bring forward into the new year, what you want to let go. Ensure that it's what you're feeling. It's— ensure that it's, you know, you as opposed to somebody else. Yes, seek advisement, seek counsel, seek, you know, um, analysis, assessment, which is what I was doing. But yet at the same time, uh, be very careful and be very true to yourself as to what you keep and what you throw away, what you consider to be true and what you consider to be someone else's perspective, that doesn't fit you. So I could have easily gone and said, okay, I'm going to change every name of my programs and every concept and kind of belief I have in what my teachings are, what my coaching is. Yet that would have ripped apart everything that is true to me. So I, but I looked at it as, okay, that was something that, you know, had not come up in a number of years prior. And this was the first time actually I was hearing it. And so I definitely had to make sure that I was, I was considering it. So another, you know, so again, so what have you stopped doing? Another one that actually a number of my clients and I have really focused on as a result of this year. As I was saying, you know, a lot of people started looking at the fact that they want more, but it's not, you know, materialistic. They want more out of life. They want more out of their dreams and their goals. They want more out of, you know, their relationships. And so a number of my clients, you know, throughout the months we've been talking about kind of what do we need to stop doing, or what have we stopped doing as a result of really appreciating kind of what this past year has brought up for us, and that is we want more, we want connection. And, you know, a couple of them who are business owners versus my corporate clients, they, they've mentioned, well, I just need to stop being so desperate, stop being so anxious, stop feeling as if, you know, I'm lacking something, whether that is internal or external. So internal, you know, I'm lacking confidence, I'm lacking self-worth, I'm lacking, um, you know, just, um, uh, strong self-esteem and belief in myself, uh, and/or externally lacking the ability, the, the capability, the skills, the technologies, the apps, whatever you could be lacking to kind of get your message out and, you know, get clients drawn to you. And therefore, clients meaning, you know, also income. And in corporate, for my corporate clients, a lot of times it's, you know, why aren't I, why aren't I, aren't I, you know, getting advanced? Or why aren't I getting that promotion or that bonus? So, you know, several of them just said, I just want to stop feeling like I lack or stop feeling so desperate. For achieving my goals and even achieving the stretch goals that I have for myself. And therefore, I want to, I want to kind of just relax. Again, it goes back to everyone's just looking to kind of get rid of all this anxiety that they've been feeling this past year. And what can I do to just simply relax? And, you know, and just be patient, knowing that I'm doing the right things. And I'm focused, you know, on the right things, and I'm putting energies into the right things. Therefore, I want to be sure that I'm not, you know, I'm not just acting out of desperation or out of feeling of lack. And what I will share with you there is, because I found myself doing the same thing, it wasn't necessarily desperation as in lack, you know, so at the beginning, you know, since the beginning of the year, even before everything started getting shut down and everybody, especially in my field of professional services, I'll call it, I'll throw coaching and consulting into that, that bucket. Um, you know, before we all even started going online and pivoting in that respect, I was already online. I was already, you know, doing webinars and trainings and live videos and doing launches and challenges and summits. And so I didn't have a major adjustment. What I found, however, was that as the weeks and the months went on and everyone was, you know, kind of jumping in on the bandwagon and getting online and doing the same things, I did start, you know, feeling as if here I was doing these challenges and launches and lives on a regular basis and not getting the stickiness that I was accustomed to and not getting the draw that I was accustomed to. And, you know, for, I would say for a period between July and September, I would say that I, you know, was kind of feeling like I was lacking what, you know, I was feeling like something I was lacking in my messaging, I was lacking in my, what I was emoting. To my prospective clients or to my community or to my clients or to whomever, and that there was something missing. And so I kind of drove myself nuts for a couple of months. I drove myself nuts, you know, kind of working through it and trying to figure it out. And even up until— and I would say it started in July through like the August, September time period, but even up until like last month, I was like, okay, so, you know, am I, you know, is it my messaging? Am I missing something in my messaging? Am I lacking something in my approach, in my appearance? Well, you know, so forth and so on. And then I just started kind of taking a break and started stepping away and, and started asking others for their perspectives and their— and for their views. Viewpoints on what it was that I was doing, who I was serving, how, you know, how I was serving them. And there was absolutely nothing that I was missing, or that I wasn't doing. So I had to get to a point where I said, okay, then just stay where you are. And that's actually something else that I was reading within this book, The Science of Getting Rich, or Yeah, The Science of Getting Rich. And it was— it— and I should say this before, um, I, I sound like I'm contradicting myself, my previous comment about making money. Um, I was drawn to this book that Bob Proctor actually was talking about in, in a webinar that he had done, and I had happened to watch the promotional video for it. I didn't watch the webinar itself, I watched the promotional video. And even in that promotional video, which was like 4 minutes long, he mentions this book, but he mentions the book in the sense of, again, getting rich in all aspects of your life. And I thought, hmm, you know, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna buy this book. It's a little book, cost like $7. And I'm just going to see what, you know, talking points that this gentleman had, because Bob was saying that, you know, in the time that he's been reading it since like 1978. He's just learned so much from it. Well, in this book— and I am really sorry that I don't have— it's The Science of Getting Rich by— I'm gonna have to Google it while we're talking, but because I feel horrible that I didn't make note of it and it's sitting on the other side of my room. Um, but what he also says, um, in, in, you know, in his book and in his readings, and it's about faith and purpose and doing things in a certain way. And certain way, I'll emphasize for those of you listening, I'm emphasizing certain way, um, because the viewers who are watching this can see it. Uh, but he emphasizes that you do things in a certain way, uh, if it is indeed that you want to get rich. And the certain ways though is all based on what I always talk about in regards to your thoughts drive your actions. You know, what, what you focus on expands, and what you put out in the universe comes back to you. And this is everything that this gentleman's saying, but yet decades ago. And but one of his main points that I really resonated with was him stating that just kind of stay where you're at and, and continue doing what you're doing, especially continue doing what you're doing if you're loving it. And even though you're not seeing the results that you're getting, just stick with it. And, you know, sooner or later everything else will catch up with you because you might be ahead of it. Um, and therefore, if you're doing something that you absolutely love, continue doing it and stay on course. And, you know, the universe will work to, um, catch up with you. Um, but even if you're not doing what you want to be doing and that you enjoy doing, stay the course, continue doing what you're doing while you're, you know, kind of farming for other opportunities and other areas of interest. And so I'm not that latter, I'm not in that latter group. I'm in the former where I, you know, I'm just waiting until the universe catches up to me. Um, and that's perfectly okay. And it in this little book. I mean, I read it in like a day and a half. And this little book, you know, by the time I reached middle of middle section of it, it brought me just such comfort and such peace and that patience, that patience that I mentioned earlier, that, you know, that I've been working on, you know, all this year. So, again, I'll ask you, what have you learned? What have you started doing? And what have you stopped doing? And if, if in— if you haven't considered in your stop, um, acting desperate or acting in a state of lack, if you're acting in a state of not, you know, being good enough or, or not having what it is you need in order to achieve what it is you want, uh, then, uh, take this author's— this author's advice and, um, And, you know, be sure that you— I'm Googling— and be sure that you stay the course because you'll figure it out. Wallace Wattles. I knew it was such a funky name, but I had to— for those of you listening and watching, because you could see that I'm actually typing in my computer—

I—

it was driving me nuts of who wrote the book The Science of Getting Rich. Wallace Wattles. And again, it was recommended by Bob Proctor. And I happened to say, okay, I'm going to order it. And it came like 2 days ago. And I sat on my couch one day and read the whole thing. And again, it just, it was just a reminder of everything that I even, you know, talk and teach and coach about here. And that is, you know, faith, purpose, focus, your thoughts, you know, ruling your actions, um, and, and what you put out in the universe comes back to you. But I love how he packages it up in acting in a certain way, and that certain way is all driven, uh, internally and not externally. So it's not all about the external things around you, it's more what's going on between your two ears that are causing you to either accelerate forward, stay on course, be patient, and have the focus and clarity to, to kind of manage your thoughts and turn those thoughts into actions and allow those actions to then reap the results that you want, versus, versus allowing what's going on between your two ears to sabotage your progress, sabotage your focus, your clarity, your determination, your excitement about something, and cause you to procrastinate or delay or avoid or ignore, or even just get really depressed and negative about what it is that you're doing to where it's not, you know, it's not feeding you any longer. And, you know, you, you only want to get to that point— you don't never want to get to that point, but you know, you may only find you get to that point when you realize that what you might be doing isn't what it is that really is passionate and what really excites you and gets you, you know, out of bed every morning. But even as Wallace Wattles— I love that name— Wallace Wattles says, stay the course, continue doing, you know, what you're doing, stay in the business that you're in, stay in the lane that you're in. And while you're there, you could be seeking out and investigating and testing and, and even failing through finding what it is that you truly want to be doing and what really gets you excited and, and out of bed every morning, wanting to take on the world and not worrying about, you know, all the negativities that might be going on between your two ears because you found your purpose, you found your why. And if you hold on to your faith, then, um, you're on, you know, the right track. Whether or not the universe has to catch up with you or you had to catch up with the universe, uh, just stay in your lane and, uh, continue forging forward. And I just love that message and so happy that I came across that book. So as you're looking at 2020, you know, consider, consider that as well. What you've learned, what you started doing, what you stopped doing. And then consider of everything going on this past year and what you've learned, what you started doing, what you stopped doing, what will you carry forward into the new year? There's going to be things you're going to want to shed, as we call it, but there's going to be things that you're going to want to hold on to and even create more of or accelerate because it worked for you this year. And so, you know, I know for me it's the patience. It's, you know, kind of the, the planning and the replanning and the reacting. And when I say reacting, I don't mean reacting, I mean re-acting, meaning I'm acting over and over and over and over again. Because I found that that was very necessary this year is, you know, probably 99% of us, what we thought we were going to be working on and doing in January was very different in March. But then again, like I mentioned, because the whole world was pivoting, and even sometimes coming into your own space, making you question what it is that you're doing, maybe you've sat back and said, okay, so am I doing really what is— what it is that I want to be doing? And therefore, I'm going to again, replan and react, re— act on what it is that I found for myself. And then again, just all the lessons I'm bringing forward, all the lessons that I've learned. So what will you bring forward from this year?

And how did—

and then we need to get practical in the last couple minutes that we have together is, you know, then you need to, then you need to consider, you know, where did I land up from a business perspective or career perspective. What were my goals at the beginning of the year? Maybe what were, you know, what were they for end of first quarter, second quarter, third quarter? And how did I allow this past year to impact my goal achievement? But at the same time, you know, where were your goals? And then where did you land up? Business, you're looking at revenue, profit, you're looking at number of clients, number of leads, number of connections. You're looking at a whole slew of business metrics. Career-wise, 90, career-wise, you could be looking at, okay, so, you know, did I have advancement goals, personal development goals, professional development goals, income goals? What were they? Do I have, you know, sales metrics if I'm in a sales, pre-sales type of role? Did I have billable hour goals and objectives this past year? So, you know, from a practicality perspective, you Certainly both career professionals and business owners, you want to be looking at where you started and where you ended up. And again, what would you want to bring forward with you into the new year and, and what you want to leave behind and then just like leave it behind. Okay, or carry it forward. Next week is our First Tuesday of 2021, and we will be doing Ask Me Anything. So if you have any questions, stories, or challenges and you want me to, you know, give you some guidance, give you some coaching, give you some advice and tips, sometimes tough love, then post them out on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page or send them directly to me at BernadetteBoas@BallOfFireInc.com., and we'll kick off the year together with a bang. All right, that's obnoxious, isn't it? All right, everyone, have a wonderful, wonderful day and a Happy New Year. Be safe and, uh, just simply enjoy. All right, thank you for a great 2020. Love you, talk to you soon.

Bye. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.