H.O.P.E. with Christa Deánā, singer-songwriter and entrepreneur

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/sheddingthebitch. Shedding the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone, and happy post-Memorial Day. I hope at least those of you in the States, I hope you had a fabulous, fabulous, fabulous weekend, a long weekend. And it's great to see that at least here in Atlanta, and I'm sure wherever you are in the States, traffic— the kids are out of school and our typical chaos of Atlanta traffic is actually very quiet at the moment. So hopefully it is wherever you are. It was rainy here, you know, It definitely was a washout as far as barbecuing and all that kind of good stuff. But at the same time, you know, then you go inside and you just have a lot of fun and kick back and relax and, and get done things that you don't want to get done when it's nice out, right? And another thing too, and we'll talk about it when we introduce our guests, but we've got some celebrations to do today because it is our guest's day, and there's going to be a key reason why Not only is it important that we celebrate people's birthdays, but at the same time, she has a great event on her birthday, and we'll make sure we get an opportunity to talk to her about it. I want to thank all of you for keeping my friend in your prayers last week on the program. I had just learned that a dear, dear, dear friend and mentor of mine, his wife is dealing with an inoperable brain tumor. So of course, you know, forget about the, you know, what that did to me or to his friends and whatnot, but just imagine, uh, kind of you wake up one day and everything looks great, and then the next day your life is, uh, changed dramatically. So continued prayers, please, if you would, um, even for just everyone's smooth transition, smooth acceptance. Moods, forgiveness, you know, peace and love and joy as much as there can be. But I thank you so much for your prayers and will just continue to ask you for those prayers for he and her and their family. Let's see what else was going on in our world. It was a quiet week, thankfully. We always like that. And being that it was the Memorial Day weekend, I think, you know, many of us are just kind of trying to get into the gear of a week. Because I don't know about you, but I thought all day today was Monday. And I typically do that when the holiday is a Monday and we have to get back to work on a Tuesday. And those of you who are international, because we have a huge community of Shedding the Bitch listeners, over in Europe, Australia, even in Asia, which I love. So I hope wherever you are in the world, you're having a rich and prosperous week. Today we're going to be talking HOPE, H-O-P-E, and I want you to keep that acronym in mind as we get into this conversation with our guest. And I want you to have an opportunity to meet her because she is a singer-songwriter, entrepreneur, and educator who will be sharing with you her insights on bullying, bullying depression, and even suicide, her experience with it firsthand and as a high school teacher. We'll also talk and, and you'll learn about the message of hope and what drives her and what her passions are around it. So she's gonna give you some practical tools for dealing with bullying, depression, and anxiety. And we certainly, whether it's for ourselves or people that we know, even the kids in our lives or peers or people at work or at home, uh, you can certainly use all the tools that you can get when it comes to your own depression, anxiety, stress, all that kind of stuff, or, um, someone else's. And what it's like to run your own business many of you are entrepreneurs, and how to discover if it's right for you. We have a mix between corporate and entrepreneurial listeners, and I get many questions around from corporate people about becoming an entrepreneur, and at the same time entrepreneurs questioning whether they're right to be out on their own as a business owner. So our guest is going to talk all about that, and what I love and what drew me to wanting to talk to her is She's in the Christian sector of music, so we're going to talk to her about what it's like to be a Christian in the music industry and kind of how does that feed her and fuel her and move her forward. And then we're going to get great practice and preservation tips for aspiring singers and musicians. So for those of you out there, let's lump it in as artists. She'll give you some practical tips around her own experience for those aspiring artists. So your rich question for today, for those of you listening for the first time, many of you may be fans of our guests, we always pose a rich question. I want, I want to ground you in something that you could be thinking about that is impacting your own life while we have a conversation, so then you can leverage and optimize the tips and advice and insights that our guests provide. So your rich question for today around this subject of bullying, depression, anxiety, running your own business and all that chaos that goes with that, I want you to be thinking about what is that one area of your life that you could use more light to shine in? So what area of your life, maybe it is someone else in your immediate circle, but what is one area of your life where you need some more light and some more inspiration and some more just overall love and joy potentially? Think about that as we're talking to our guest because I sense she's gonna have a lot to say and I'm gonna send you to her website when we come back after a small break. Because if you ever want to get lifted up immediately, maybe you're having a bad day or had a bad phone call or a conversation, you just need some, some joy, all you have to do is pull up her website. I'm telling you, and there's an image of her, and her smile will shine light into your world, uh, trust me. So your rich question: what is that one area that you need more light? And your rich tags are going to be #here, H-E-R-E, here. I want you to use #light, and then of course #shedthebitch when you tweet and Facebook with us across our many platforms, and basically shedding the bitch. You can go to Facebook, Twitter, even on LinkedIn I get posts following our program. So when we get back, we're gonna introduce you to our guests and dive into this conversation. So we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@phvservices.com. Debra_parker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. I am so excited to speak to our guest today, and I just realized that she is from Philadelphia, which all of you know I am as well. So Krista Denae is a Christian singer-songwriter from Philadelphia who sings with conviction and power. Her songs speak to the journey of a woman after God's own heart. God, I love that. Each song is deeply rooted in a personal yet extremely vulnerable relationship with God. She inherited perfect pitch, excellent natural timing, a powerful vocal instrument, and a creative soul. But she's been diligent to cultivate her gifts, traveling the world in various choirs and obtaining her music education degree from the University of Valley Forge.

Woo-hoo!

Not content to simply make her own music, she pulls beautiful music out of her students and collaborators. She is currently a music educator and worship leader at various facilities and churches. She is also the owner for Christa Court Productions. After experiencing bullying, depression, and thoughts of suicide, she used music as a coping mechanism. Her experience from a personal point of view and now high school music teacher motivates her to continuously write songs that encourage and give hope. It's the beauty and emotion in her voice and the candor in her lyrics that help inspire others to go all the way every day with God.

If God doesn't want it, then I don't. I guess it just ain't for me. I used to think I knew what was best for me. Praying and asking on my bended knee. Then I learned to pray and trust in your word. As I lift my voice, this is what I heard. If God doesn't want it, then I don't want it. I refuse to complain about what he hasn't given me. If it's not from my Father, then it's from the enemy. God always does what's best for me. Put it in his hands, leave it be.

I love that. Welcome to the program, Krista.

Thank you so much for having me, Bernadette. I'm really excited to be here.

I am too. So what part of Philly are you from?

Um, like the West Philly area is where most of my family resides. But I live a little bit further out now. I'm more in the King of Prussia area.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. My whole— my sister lives in King of Prussia. I have 11 brothers and sisters. They're all in Philadelphia, and we live around the Havertown, Upper Darby, uh, yeah, Main Line area. And yet I have a sister out in King of Prussia and one out in Westtown and a bunch of places I don't know.

That's awesome. That's really cool.

Yeah, yeah. Well, and while we're talking, everyone, please go to kristadina.com. Dina, I'm sorry, kristadina.com. So let me spell it for you, C-H-R-I-S-T-A-D-E-A-N-A dot com. And seriously, I love your image on your website. It just immediately makes you smile. You have no choice but to smile.

Thank you.

Well, so let me ask you something. So kind of give us some backstory in regards to how you got here today. And just, you know, your bio represents so many things, but you know, how did you get where you are today as far as really singing and, and feeling and, um, just sharing kind of God in your story, in your songs, in everything that you do?

You know, we have to put most of that credit to my upbringing. My parents actually met in a band, so there was a lot of music in the home, and they were also very involved in church, so they passed on to me Christianity but not religion. So it wasn't so much like, you have to go to church and you have to follow rules and da da da da da. It was more so, do you like Jesus? Do you like this Bible story? What do you think? What are your thoughts? Did you talk to him today? It was very, very personal, so between all the all the passion about music and all the passion about loving Jesus, that really helped to spark my songwriting at a very young age. I wrote my first song when I was 9, and I just continued to write through everything. The different questions I had about life, the different experiences that I had, you know, ups and downs, songwriting was always how I got my thoughts together. I actually have over 100 now, just because that is kind of my first thing to do if I am feeling and I'm gonna feel complicated, I really need to sort myself out, I just kind of write a song and work out my emotions. And of course, the things I've been through, I feel and I know that we don't go through trials just for ourselves.

We—

right, yes, we become stronger, but we inspire other people as well. And so I constantly using my experiences through mentorship, social media presence, and my music, of course, to help people understand the lessons that I've learned and to help people get through the stuff that they are going through and ultimately inspire them to share their love and all that they have learned with everyone else as well.

Right. Well, and you said something in that, at the very beginning of that, that we preach a lot about here. And I want to make sure that we, we kind of focus on it for a little bit. You, you had mentioned that you, you, you write. You have 100 songs that you have written and they are, they make up kind of things that you go through and whatnot. And we talk a lot here in the Shedding the Bitch community about getting things out of your head and onto a piece of paper because it, you know, one, it just helps you kind of work through stuff, and two, it kind of keeps it from getting too emotional and you're able to, you know, kind of write it out and almost purge it from your mind in to some degree. Would you say that your songs, 100 of them that you've written, are they almost to you like your journal of what you've been through and, you know, what you think about and how you feel? And has it provided great therapy for you?

Absolutely. That's the perfect word for it— therapy. It is in my diary, as a matter of fact. Um, so I journal and I write. It is one and the same. Even my Bible study, it's one and the same. I have piles of journals. I think I'm on to my 8th journal now. They're usually pretty big and they got a lot of deep stuff in there, but most of the time when I'm just journaling, I'm just writing my thoughts like you said, you know, just getting it out. Sometimes a song just starts coming and then right in that moment I'm able to be able to put it to music.

Yeah, that's beautiful. That's absolutely beautiful. And I want to, um, well, first off, we need to do the shout out that I wanted to do that I announced at the beginning of the day. It is Krista's birthday!

Yay!

Happy birthday!

Happy, happy, happy birthday! Is it, is it a significant one, or is it just another year?

Uh, it's just another year. Yes, my 36th was last year. So I'm 26 today.

Nice. Well, happy, happy, happy birthday. I'm thrilled that we have an opportunity to celebrate it with you.

Yes, thank you so much.

You're welcome. But everyone, we are going to be sharing splices of, you know, pieces of her music during the program. So you're going to want to listen in for that. But you also are celebrating something today. So do you want to share in your words what is happening on your birthday today?

Yes, absolutely. My newest single entitled "Here" is out today, and it's a song that's very dear to my heart. I would compare it to a hug. Even when I've been promoting it, I've been comparing it to a hug. The lyrics simply say, "I'm here, I never left," and, you know, I'm fulfilling the plan that I've made for you. It's just really encouraging. Even the t-shirts say, "I'm here and I never left." Everything about this song is reminding us that when we can't hear him and we can't see him and we can't feel him, that doesn't mean he's not there with us, carrying us, making sense out of what looks like chaos. So I'm so excited that the song is out, and I just really hope that it comforts everybody that gets a chance to hear it. Right now, I know you can't feel me, see me, hear me. But I promise that there's a plan if you would only have faith in who I am. I am sovereign. I'm everything good. I'm here holding your hand.

Congratulations on that.

Thank you.

Now I want everyone, being, you know, that we just mentioned that, I want you to go to her website because I want you to get on her mailing list. She's going to have a free giveaway at some point in the future, and you know, she's going to surprise you. But, um, go to her website and get on her mailing list and start to follow her because I, I know that you're going to love her music and you're going to want to know kind of what's going on in her world. So go to kristadene.com, and again, that's Krista, C-H-R-I-S-T-A D-E-N-E and get on her mailing list, please, because she has a full album coming out in September, and you're going to want to be the first to hear about it. And it's going to be her mailing list that gets that opportunity. While you're out there, take a look at her store tab for merchandise that you can, you can get from her as well. Go to her blog, and she provides short words of advice and wisdom and food for thought. So you definitely want to do that. Just take a look at, um, throughout her website and get engaged with her. And like I said, if you ever need a, you know, kind of a reflection of a smile coming back at you, all you have to do is pull up her website and she has an absolutely beautiful image of herself, um, that'll get you smiling. Uh, all right, let's see. So we kind of know your little bit of your backstory now. How did you What brought you to the point of overcoming your own trauma? You mentioned that, you know, there was bullying, there was depression, thoughts of suicide. What finally kind of helped you to overcome those traumas?

I think I just got sick of being miserable. You know, just constantly feeling like I wasn't worth it, constantly overthinking, constantly assuming that people think the worst of me. It was exhausting. And I just— started thinking, you know, for Jesus to do what he did and die on the cross for us to have life, I don't think this is what he died for. So there has to be more than this. There's no way that that sacrifice was made for me to be this miserable. So I need to figure out how to get over this thing. And I began being very intentional about what I consumed. Consumed, not just by food, but also mentally, emotionally. All of that I realized played a part in my whole being. So yes, I did start to take care of my exercise and what I ate, because releasing endorphins and putting more vitamins in your body, that does give me the power to make better choices. And then I also realized, hey, what kind of music are you listening to? You know, are you listening to music that makes you feel negative or makes you think about negative things? Or are you listening to music that's uplifting and that's positive? And sometimes it doesn't even have to have any words. Sometimes it's just the beat alone. And it definitely does not have to be, um, religious or Christian per se. Um, positive comes in many different forms. Um, so I started, you know, opening myself to a lot of different kinds of music, and there's so much out there, and they're so fun, and there's So cool. There's so many amazing artists out there. And then also thinking about my friends, who do I have in my circle? Who am I listening to? You know, am I, am I having people around me that are kind of putting me down or judging me or not really wanting the best for me? And I had to start cutting some people off. And there was a whole year where I didn't really have friends. I didn't really have somebody that I could go to or talk to. But you know what? It was honestly the best thing for me. Started to— when I cut people off, um, I was like, you know what, I actually don't know what I like now that I'm by myself. I don't know what I want to do, what makes me happy, what my favorite color is. I mean, it was crazy. I was just kind of left in the, um, just left in the air. And I started to rebuild. I started to, um, take time for myself, enjoying the little things, you know, maybe doing some stretches or lighting a candle before you go to bed, drinking some tea, um, getting a the favorite pillow or favorite drink. You know, I really started to make a habit focusing on the little things so that I can enjoy, um, myself throughout the day. And it's become more habitual, thank God. Um, now I'm more comfortable, um, when I'm happy versus when I'm not. And, um, you know, loving yourself, it takes time, it takes work, but when you put in the work, it is so worth it. Because even when people come and they have, you know, there's people that have negative things to say. Naturally, we're all different and we all have different opinions. You can't avoid that. But what you can do is determine how you're going to react to it. So that's something worth fighting for. That's something that I encourage people to make sure they do.

How, um, how long or what age were you when you had that that revelation and you had that year where you were by yourself, how old were you?

I was 22.

Okay, so I want our listeners to listen to this because I, you know, I've told them my story. Of course they've heard about it for 5 years now, but I was in my mid to late 40s when I did the same real revelation that you went through, and I found myself— and I told my community before, I found myself on the couch for a year with just me and my dog after having this so-called network of acquaintances and friends, but realized none of them— they weren't good for me and I wasn't good for them. And so, listeners, I want you to hear something. She was 22. She's now 26. It took me till I was 46. 46, 47, whatever time you realize, you know, that you're just not who you want to be and you're not who you're meant to be, you know, it doesn't matter. Just be sure that you pay attention to those things so you can take the time like she did to kind of like go inward and really understand what is it that I want, what is it that I don't want. And I love what you said, Krista, around rebuilding, because that's what it is. It's rebuilding and really becoming who you are. So that is awesome, and congratulations that you did at such a young age, because some of us, it takes, you know, half a lifetime to get to that point because it's scary, right?

It is. It really is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, did you go through— when you're sitting there, you know, and you're spending a year, oh, you know, working on kind of getting to know who you are, what you want, what you don't want, What did you feel the biggest obstacle was to overcome in order to get to a place where you're now very happy and content and know who you are?

I would say my mindset. I was so stuck in the habit of thinking in such a toxic way where I was putting— I didn't need anybody else to put me down. I was putting myself down. And it was just— It was heart-wrenching because it was like, you don't— you see yourself in a way that other people has told you based on, you know, the experiences that I had with the bullying. Those lies I took upon myself and I believed them all. That was something that I decided to do. And that's something I had to tell myself not to do. And it took a really long time. I mean, even something as simple as looking at your toes and thinking that you hate your toes. They're your toes, you know, it seems ridiculous. It seems really crazy, but people say random things and half the time they don't even mean it, you know? And so I really needed to realize that people just say things and they don't know you the way that you do. And God didn't make any mistakes. So if there's something that you want to, you know, if you want to better yourself, great. Better yourself. But the things that you can't change, the things that, that are making who you are, love that. Because there's nobody else like you. There's only one you. Once you're gone, nobody else can fill your shoes in the exact same way. So I learned to value myself and to tell myself good things, writing it on my mirror, putting it on my phone. I had to be proactive about it because it's like, it's like any muscle. It's like anything that you learn, learning the language. You have to kind of unlearn that and/or forget it. And that takes intentionality and it takes time. But the mind, I find, is the hardest thing. We are our worst critic and we are our worst enemy sometimes.

Yeah, I love that. Um, so when you find yourself relapsing into kind— because we all do, you know, as confident and secure and as good as we feel in our skin, there's days we wake up, look in the mirror, or days we wake up, we go out in the world, and we're just not kind of sunshine, so to speak. How do you adjust? How do you get yourself to shift, you know, when you know that you are kind of in a dark place, I'll call it?

Yeah, absolutely. For me, it's music. That is the easiest, quickest fix. Of course, talking to God all day, all throughout the day. Is, makes a huge benefit for me. I just, I can't imagine not doing that. But aside from that, music really, really helps. Also, taking your vitamins makes a big difference. You know, sometimes like my B12 is low and sometimes I need a drink of aloe vera. And that is, that is nature's natural serotonin. And that just kind of picks me up. But again, it's intentionality. Like, they do come, and I can either just soak in it and wallow it and, you know, check out for the day and hope I try again tomorrow, or I can make the most of it. And, you know, we don't always make the best choices. We don't always make the best decisions. But I do find, again, that considering the little things, you know, maybe you need some fresh air. Maybe you need some sunlight. Maybe you just need some time away from people. I'm an introvert, and sometimes when I get moody and I get irritable, I just need a time, I just need a second for myself. But it takes self-discovery to learn what works for you. But I would say don't give up on what works for you. Just continue to, you know, play around with different ideas. And then after a while, you'll know what needs to work in that moment to get you back up on your feet.

Yep. Well, and I love the whole thing that you said about it's like any muscle, you just have to work at it each and every day. If our listeners could put that in their mind as a visual, as something that, you know, all of a sudden going from being negative to positive is not an overnight thing. It's not an overnight thing to start treating yourself well and having self-love. It takes time. And therefore, you have— with time and intentionality, as Krista said, you can also rebuild and overcome and replace the negative with the positive. And just leverage what's inside you to find that light, as we talked about. Love it, love it, love it. I want to remind everybody, please go to ChristaDenee.com and check out her resources she has there, her blog, get on her mailing list. We will be playing pieces of her songs so you can kind of immediately fall in love with her. And get on our mailing list to hear not only regarding the new single coming out today, "Her Birthday," but also the full album coming out in September. We have a lot more to talk about. I would definitely want to move into talking to her about what inspires her, especially musically, and who inspires her. But we're going to take a brief break, and when we get back, we'll continue our conversation with Krista Denae. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at MediaRelations@ShannonMurray.com. Sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking to Christian singer-songwriter Krista Denae, and she has some very inspiring words and insights for us. But I really want to know, Krista, being that you're, you know, an artist, who is your biggest musical inspiration and why?

Musically, hands down, it has to be Michael Jackson. He was such a hard worker, and he was so passionate about what he did and who he was reaching and the message that he was passing along. But also, he was so diverse. You know, it's so cool because not everybody has to love Michael Jackson, but everybody has their one MJ jam. I mean, ask anybody, what is the Michael Jackson song that you like? From Human Nature to Thriller to the Earth Song. It doesn't matter. And I want my music to replicate that. I'm inspired by a lot of different genres. I listen to a lot of different things. And I have so many songs. So over time, if people have that one song that just really got to them, that really pierced their heart and said, "You know what? I relate to this." Right. Then I've absolutely done my job. He's amazing.

Nice, nice. Well, and so that's one thing in your bio, for instance, that I, that I mentioned to everybody. It's one thing to have perfect pitch and to be capable of holding a note, so to speak, because I don't know how to. Um, how did you know you were meant to be a singer, and how did you know that this was your passion and your destiny, so to speak?

I actually always knew. It was harder for me to accept it. I don't remember a time when I woke up and said, "You know what? I actually want to do this." Like, I always wanted to do it. I was actually playing by ear before I could speak, and that's how my parents found out about my pitch. Like, I had a little baby piano and I was in diapers and Barney was on, And I'm like playing the theme song on the little pinky piano. And I guess— Oh wow. So they were like, okay, she's music. Like, let's get her in voice lessons, let's get her in piano. I started that at age 5. So I always knew, but because I, you know, you lack confidence and you feel like everybody wants to grow up to be a singer. Like what makes you any different? So it took a long time for me to say, you know what? I am— not only do I want to do it, I believe that I can do it. And that happened like 3 years ago.

Oh wow, really?

Yeah.

Wow. What do you think—

I did it.

What do you think kind of kept it to taking that long, so to speak?

The fear. The fear of people not liking me. The fear of me working hard for nothing. Um, I, I always did music and I always performed and I always wrote, but I also had a backup plan because I felt like, you know what, if this doesn't work out, I won't be too upset because I didn't put my all in it. I didn't put all my eggs in one basket, you know. So it was always kind of like half and half. Like, yes, I was doing what I loved, um, but I was still able to provide for myself in a more materialistic and way that made sense to everybody else. I didn't think I was— no one would think I was crazy, you know. But it got to the point where I continued to perform and I just, I couldn't get this hunger away. Like, I just wanted to continue to do it and it just started to be way more important than everything else I wanted to do. It was just continue to grow and grow and grow and eat away at me. And so It was like, you know what, you need to, you need to do this thing because you're going to be unhappy and clearly you're not going to fulfill what you're actually called to do, what you were made for. So you know what, bump the fear and yeah, and trust that, that, um, because you are called to do it, that everything's going to work out. And so far so good.

That's awesome. That is so awesome. And And at the same time, would you also say where, you know, you are— it's not as if you kind of threw everything else aside and threw it all away and said, okay, all I'm going to be doing is this. It's not necessarily your backup plan, but your work with— as a music instructor, a music educator, and a worship leader, you know, you do things to eat and also to then invest back into your passion, which is your singing and your music. Is that, is that how you balance the two?

It was, absolutely, but that came with time. I started to see the jobs that I had as a transition point instead of what I was going to do forever. At first, when I went into music education, I was thinking, yeah, I am going to be a music teacher because that is a sure shot, you know, that just makes sense. People say I should do it and just kind of listening to everybody else. And I did like it. I like— I love mentoring, and I love inspiring people to be the best version of themselves. And I was able to do that through teaching, but I realized that it was taking away from what I actually wanted to do. My voice was constantly tired because of all the teaching and the singing and the yelling, because I was a high school teacher. So, and then I couldn't record, and I couldn't sing as effectively as I'm used to on the weekends. And it was just hard. I was tired I was burnt out. And so at that point I was like, okay, you know what, I guess, I guess that I need to start thinking about transitioning. How can I get to doing this full-time? And so started cutting back little by little, then began teaching part-time, and then I started doing more church leadership jobs because that was on the weekend. I didn't have as much responsibility as much strain on my voice. And the doors just continued to open and things began to make sense. And so now I'm here full-time and I love it.

I love it. Oh, that's all— and you get— and you just can hear it in your voice, um, your— even your speaking voice, let alone your singing voice. So I'm very excited to have our listeners, um, hear pieces of a couple of your songs. Uh, now So, but what did it really, so what did it really take, or is there any additional insights you might wanna provide our listeners about, not only when you realized that this is what you wanted, this was your passion, but that you truly, truly, truly believed in it? Was it any specific thing, or was it just what you said in regards to just knowing that this is indeed what you wanted to do?

For me, it was, I always knew, so my experience is a little bit different. I know for some people they find out a little bit later, um, but I just needed to get over my fear. There was no doubt in my mind that I was supposed to do music, that I was made to do music. I would have dreams about me performing. I would receive songs in my dreams. I mean, it was just— I ate it, I slept it, I breathed it. It was non- stop, but it was, am I good enough? If that was— so that was literally the only thing that was stopping me. And once I got over that, um, things just started to fall into place. So that's my experience. I know some are a little bit different.

Yeah, no, that's beaut— no, that's beautiful. But it also comes down to the fact that you do need to believe in yourself, um, regardless of all the noise around you. Because people, you know, the more you pursue your passions and your dreams— and I'm saying you as not only you but just people generally. You know, there's always going to be people that are going to come out of the woodwork and try to not only challenge you but to, you know, rain on your parade, so to speak, or tell you that you can't. And that confidence and that belief within yourself has to be strong enough to kind of say, you know what, that's your opinion, I've got mine, and this is the direction I'm going regardless of all of that, right?

Absolutely. I couldn't agree more because people are always going to have something to say. That does not go away. I mean, there will be people that don't like you and you can try your very best to get everybody on your side. You're going to exhaust yourself because it's impossible. So once I realized, you know what, yes, what I believe about myself, what I know about myself, I can't allow anyone to take that away from me. And as long as I got that, then, you know, you like my music, thank you so much. You don't like my music, I hope you find somebody's music that you do like. You know, it's, it's that simple. It's just right.

Absolutely, absolutely. Well, I want to be sure that we get to address HOPE. So tell us about your message of HOPE, and it's written as an acronym, so give us some backstory story and kind of your viewpoint on it.

So HOPE kind of hit me while I was on tour. I was thinking about how I really wanted to put in a nutshell the different public speaking that I do and the different mentorship. And the word HOPE just kind of broke down right in front of me. So the H is focusing on health. You know, you can want to do right, like they say, what is it, the mind is willing but the body is weak. Right. So like, I want to, I want to, I want to, but if you don't take care of yourself, well, you're not going to be able to, and then that's unfair to yourself and the people that you would like to serve. So make sure you are in good health. Make sure that you take care of yourself. O standing for optimism. Again, coming back to that mindset, speak life. Think positively, fight for cup half full instead of cup half empty, you know. Just really deciding I am going to be optimistic about whatever situation or whatever I see. And that also helps the people that you are speaking to too, because if someone is, you know, pouring their soul out before you, instead of focusing on the negative, you can help them to see the positive in that situation. So that is really important. P standing for power. I think it is really important that we do not just go through this life feeling like we do not have control over anything. I think that we have a lot more control than we think. So believing that we have that power to speak life, to have an encouraging surrounding, to have joy, to have peace, we are capable of making sure that that expands in our life. And for me, Jesus is the source of making sure that I have that power. And I think that's really, really important just so you feel more in control of your life from day to day. And then the last one is experience. Again, how are you going to attack what you've been through? Are you just going to absorb it for yourself, or are you going to find the good in it find all that you've learned and pass on your experience to somebody else and kind of start that chain reaction. Yes, I've been through this. Yes, this was my path. Yes, this was my mistakes, but this is what I've learned. This is my experience, and this is how I can help you through yours. So I feel like all of those things all together, that just passes on hope, right?

No, I love it. So health, optimism, power, and experience, everyone. Hope is a, is a beautiful message to have. So thank you so much for that. Now, so share with us your thoughts in regards to where do you think the direction of the music industry is going? You know, is there any insights from what you're, what you're seeing out there? You talked about being on tour and whatnot. What is your take on the direction of the music industry?

Mm, there's pros and cons to the music industry right now. Um, I think it's really, really great that we're more connected with our fans, um, because of social media. That's really, really awesome. But, um, social media also has its downside because, um, fans are more focused on the image than anything else. And I feel like there's a lot of pressure to to come across a certain way just by pictures alone. And you know, not everybody, that's not everybody's style. Like some people are really indie, some people are really laid back. And they shouldn't have to be punished for not being glamorous, you know? And so we're having to appeal a little bit more to, I wouldn't say fickle, but for a lack of better words, just trying to keep people's attention, that's a little difficult. So there are pros and cons to social media, but the music by itself, I personally would love to go back to the '70s, the '80s, and the '90s, please and thank you. I think personally there was a lot more creativity, a lot more pushing the boundaries, a lot more emotion. That's just my personal opinion. I think A lot of the music today is safe, predictable, and a little bit the same. Like, I'm— I have a pretty good ear. Like, I'm just saying. And most of the songs sound the same. Like, I'm like, wait, is it this song or is it this song? Just because it's like the same 4 chords over and over.

And it's just enough.

Like, you know, but I understand we're in a different era and I'm sure it will pass. Um, but I, I do wish we were a little bit more interesting with our music right now.

Yeah, yeah, no, I don't, I don't blame you. And you're in a space too, um, because what I feel like it lacks is the storytelling element, of which the Christian music arena and the country music arena probably do the best job at ensuring that there's, um, you know, a story in what it is that you're listening to. And yet, to your point, you know, outside those two areas, it all just sounds— it sounds very much the same, other than there's a few artists that obviously, you know, are great storytellers outside of Christian and country. But yeah, I can't blame you in that arena. And yes, I'd love to go back to the '70s, '80s, and '90s too when it comes to music. Absolutely. Even like, it's funny because Michael Jackson's special was on last week, and then Elton John had a special concert thing about a month ago. And I was by myself in my living room, like dancing the whole time to the music that they were, you know, that they were showing. So I totally appreciate that. Is there any last insights that you would have in regards to what we've been talking about in your experiences and your growth that you would want to share with our listeners?

Well, I guess if I could sum it up, I would just emphasize the importance of what you can do for your life and for your situation. I like to think that things don't happen to us, they happen for us. So, okay, yes, I went through this and this experience, that did happen in my life, but look at who I am because of it. You know, I think it's really, really important for us to focus on what we can get out of life and what we can give back to life. For me, life is not as fulfilling if I'm not giving back. When I'm focusing on myself, then I just feel like the list gets longer of things that I wish I had, and I wish I was, and my emptiness just continues to grow and grow and grow, versus focusing on others and their situations and how I can help other people. I feel like that is really empowering. And so if I can pass on that encouragement and empower, if you are listening, try to give back. Focus on making sure that you took the situation that you are going through and you are experiencing as a lesson that makes you better and then pass that on to somebody else. And trust me, you'll feel so great. You will honestly feel really, really awesome.

Yep. That's awesome. Kristen Denae, everyone. I'm so happy you were part of the program. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Bernadette. It was such a pleasure.

And everyone, kristadene.com, go to our website, sign up for her mailing list, learn about her, you know, full album coming out in September. You know, pay attention to her blog and the words of advice that she has there, her store tab for encouraging merchandise. It's her birthday, everybody, so even go to Facebook Facebook and Twitter, shedding the bitch, and be sure to do a shout out of a happy birthday to Krista. And congratulations again on your single coming out today. It's called "Here," everybody. But thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Everyone, next week is Ask Bernadette. So post your questions, stories, or challenges out on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, LinkedIn. You can send them directly to me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. We answer your top-of-mind questions. Maybe you're having a challenge or you just simply need some advice, and we'll do that for the entire program next week. And then June is packed with great guests like Candace Smith and Christy Rutherford and a number of other great guests that will be talking on a number of subjects. That are important to you. So I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Have a great, prosperous week, everyone.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.