Happy Valentines!!!! Find Love in YOU and your life.

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day, everyone. Excuse me, we seem to have an echo, echo, echo. Can you hear me, Deborah? I can hear you. Oh great, you gotta love technology. How is everyone on this Valentine's Day? Happy, happy Valentine's. Okay, it's not Valentine's, it's not till, uh, Thursday, I guess, uh, but at the same time I don't know about you, I celebrate Valentine's pretty much the whole week. The reason being is February is jam-packed with family birthdays. So my, my birthday starts late January, January 29th, and then all of a sudden it's my sister on February 4th, my other sister on February 13th, my goddaughter today, Happy birthday, Mary Grace. Um, and then my mother's birthday is Valentine's Day, February 14th. So, um, it's a kind of a week-long, uh, celebration. But that is what we are going to be discussing, though there's love in the air. And whether you are partnered or single, uh, this day can bring some bring some, uh, stress to people. But at the same time, this is a day to celebrate love, even celebrating you as an individual, because loving you first is key to you being successful when you're loving someone else. And that includes family, friends, let alone a lover. So, um, that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about just what you could be doing to ensure that this day just— yes, it every— we should be loving every day, and we all do, but at the same time, sometimes holidays, milestones, goals, they just kind of shake us to awareness. They shake us to intentionally considering what something means, or what someone in this case means. And that is what Valentine's is all about, but we are going to get into all of that in just a minute. Our past episodes, I just wanted to kind of give you some updates. Our past episodes have been great. A lot of activity and a lot of downloads and listens to our "Shed the Excuses, They Kill Dreams" episode that was back in late January, January 22nd roughly. And last week we had a conversation on our Ask Bernadette We had a conversation regarding a number of things. We talked about relationships, more so when that relationship becomes full of verbal, emotional, mental, and even physical abuse. And I'm not talking, you know, beat down. I'm even talking when the words get ugly, when the shoves, you know, start. And then, you know, let us pray that it does not, but that is a red flag to possible escalation into other areas. So we talked about that because I had— we had a listener and a member of our community reach out to me on Facebook and engage me to kind of get my thoughts on a situation that she encountered over the last couple of weeks with her boyfriend. So So, and I'm hoping he's not her boyfriend anymore, so if you're listening, just because again, red flags. You'll have to go back to that episode and listen to it. On that same episode of Ask Bernadette last week, we talked cash flow, budgets, money. Now the question came to me in regards to a business perspective, however, it is very easily transferable to your personal finances, your personal budgeting, planning, and management overall of your money. And then we also talked about, and it's been a great, I have to tell you, it's been a great 6 weeks in regards to this. We also talked about the value of goals or whether you should just go with the flow. And I've been kind of disclosing to you my own ups and downs this past 6 to 8 weeks as we've gotten into the new year in regards to my goals. And how they've played out over, I would say at least since the beginning of the year. So go back and listen to those episodes. And quite honestly, we've been talking about it for a while because of course, when we get into the new year, so our January 1st episode was all about your rich plan, rocking the new year with your goals, with your measurements, with your intentions. All that kind of good stuff. And then we came back and we talked about whether or not you're still sticking to your goals and resolutions, or have you start— started to wane already, or did you just totally abandon them completely by our conversation on January 15th? And if you did, then there's opportunities just to hit that reset button. But if you're also coming on— coming up blank on what your resolution should be, very similar to the discussion regarding whether or not we need to have goals defined, measured out, all that kind of good stuff. We talked a lot about that as well because, like, for me, I was advised, you know, just take a deep breath, relax, and don't worry about having goals. Even my business coach and I had another conversation late yesterday afternoon, and I'm somewhat in the same place I have been over the last 4 or 5 weeks, but I'm okay with it now. And I'm just going with the flow. So a lot of conversation around that in our episodes over the last 4 weeks or so. So take a listen for that. And then of course you can go to sheddingthebitch.com, scroll down, you'll see the radio, radio page. And then you can also go to blogtalkradio.com, obviously. And you can also go to iTunes and download them there. And take them on the go with you. And we always love when you do that. And we can tell that you are streaming them not just that day, that week, but, you know, continuously. And we always love that. All right. And let's see what else. Like I said, happy birthday. I need to shout out to Mary Grace today, my sister Teresa tomorrow, and then of course to everyone, a beautiful, beautiful Valentine's. Let's see, the conversation came up in regards today not only because it is Valentine's, but a number of us were having a discussion and I'm single and, and the group that I was with were coupled up and they were talking their Valentine's plans. And all of a sudden, one of my girlfriends kind of nudged her boyfriend and said, you know, you know, let's change the subject, you know, no big deal, you know, Bernadette, you know, isn't coupled up at the moment, blah blah blah. And I was like, what? I was just kind of stunned. I was like, what? I'm like, do you really think I'm sitting here wallowing about the fact that you're making plans for a Thursday, you know, that happens to have a title attached to it, Valentine's? And I said, please, please, please Don't worry about it and continue your conversation and I'll even share with you my plans for Valentine's. And they kind of looked at me very surprised and very shocked and we'll talk about that a little bit later. But it is a tricky holiday for many folks. But, you know, yes, love should be celebrated every day, but I definitely do believe that in our hectic lives where we're just going, going, going all the time, it is nice to have kind of the brakes put on. And actually, it's not even Thursday, to be quite honest with you. I don't know about you, but you know, once the commercials start and the, you know, you go in the stores and the Valentine heart candy boxes are in there, you kind of start thinking about it. And so for some though, that thinking turns into wallowing, depression, sadness. They do start, you know, some people look at it from the commercial standpoint, like, you know, and start complaining about that, that we are supposed to love each and every day and be kind each and every day. Of course we need to be, but, you know, nothing's to say that it's not right or it's not fun to just have a day where you do shower each other, or all of you, you know, all of your brothers, all your sisters, all your aunts, your uncles, your kids, you know, let alone your spouse and even your friends. But it is a day that can bring a lot, a lot, a lot of stress to individuals. And guess what? It is not just singles. I often, I often at times will— I am not the only single friend in my group. It just so happened the other day I was out with two couples. But even when I am out with my single friends and my coupled friends, Some of them are single couples and then they are, and then others are married. But I have to tell you, there is times I look around our group and even people as a whole and I do not even see that stress or strain on singles. I see it even in couples who are struggling, who maybe have lost the zest in their love life or in their life as a whole. Those that are exhausted from children. And just obligations. So, you know, it doesn't matter if you're single or not. You know, you could be coupled up, you could be partnered up, and there's still some strain and stress and sadness and loneliness around this time of year. Because you can only imagine the expectations we all of a sudden set up, and yes, commercialism helps to kind of exasperate that. But what we really need to kind of take pause and think about is to first do that reflection and do that consideration on what it means to you and what does love mean within you, which then can— then you can look at love as far as how you express it and how you feel it and how you experience it with other people. And those other people, yes, immediately you might go to your spouse or your partner or just your significant others, and then other times it might go to your children, your family, your friends, your goddaughters or godsons, whatever the case might be. So what I want you to be thinking about as we get into this conversation as your rich question for the episode is what are your feelings, your true feelings towards Valentine's? I want you to take 30 seconds, don't take a lot of time, just take 30 seconds, take a minute, let me say, take a minute and 22 seconds when we take a break, and really think about it. What are your real feelings toward Valentine's? Whether it is something, you know, of angst toward, you know, it being so commercialized that it doesn't mean anything anymore, or that you just absolutely relish in it, or you're often disappointed, or you just have fun with it, whatever the case might be. Think about it because, again, and we say this all the time, you being aware of that now might help you, which we'll talk about, might help you just even experience it differently come this Thursday. All right? So your rich tags, did you want to join us on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch pages, can be Valentine's or Happy Valentine's, being single, or shed the bitch. Those could be your rich tags that you'll use. All right, we'll be right back, and when we come back, we will get into this conversation and provide all of us the opportunity to really let love shine through this Valentine's. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity. Creativity, so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com. Tg-taxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media-relations@sheddingthebitch.com. .com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, and happy, happy, happy Valentine's. We are talking Valentine's today, the 12th, preparing you for Thursday, maybe even helping you to kind of shift should you need a shift in kind of your attitude or approach or your feelings towards the day. And I wonder, how did you answer that question? Our rich question for today was simply, what are your feelings toward Valentine's? Be very honest, dig deep if you have to. But at the same time, I also suggest that you only take a very short period of time to think about it, just so you don't, you know, there's a saying that I have that truth sits on the surface. And what I mean when I say that is if you, the first things that come to your mind when I ask you this question, what are your feelings towards Valentine's? You know, you might all of a sudden, you know, kind of turn your lip up in a, in a growl, not a growl, but like a, just an annoyed, annoyed impression, or maybe you get all giddy and happy and, and flutters. Maybe you just kind of go blank and you, you know, all of a sudden that 30 seconds goes and no truth has risen to the top, and you do need to think about it a little bit more because you never thought about it before. But really understanding how you feel about it can help tremendously in then how you experience it, I'll call it. Whether you are coupled up or you are single, it will just kind of help you set the expectations of what you want that day to be, even in such a way that you're not disappointed at the end. Because we've talked about it, and we did last month when it came to even like New Year's Eve, especially when you're younger. I'm not picking on the younger people in 20s and 30s, But, you know, you set these expectations about how grand New Year's Eve will be, and then all of a sudden, you know, you experience it, and the next morning you're like, well, you know, I'm not sure, you know, why I made such a big deal of it. Now, many of you might have had like this absolutely blowout fantastic experience, and that's wonderful. But there are times that you may not, and that's perfectly okay too. Had you, though, kind of thought about it and really focused on it leading into it, you might be— and help yourself be more realistic in what expectations you might have coming through that particular event or holiday or experience. So whatever you wrote about what your feelings are toward Valentine's, it's perfectly okay. You know, some Some get really stressed out if their partner forgets Valentine's. And ladies, that's not only men forgetting about Valentine's. I know, I know over the years I've known a lot of women who have forgotten about it as well. And not to say that they didn't know it was coming up, but just like me, it's like, oh, I thought it was tomorrow, I thought it was Wednesday, not Thursday. And then all of a sudden I realized I had all my dates messed up. And I love Valentine's, which we'll talk about, but I love Valentine's even as I'm single. So, you know, that's one thing that gets people in kind of in their head is if their partner forgets about it or if they don't purposely set plans up. And the next thing you know, they're scrambling and they're making reservations or running to the local store to buy you know, little thing of flowers or candy or whatever the case might be. And then of course we did talk about the fact that, you know, individuals will set these expectations and have these grand ideas about how Valentine's, you know, should play out. Especially not only if you're single and you're dating, but you're dating and maybe you're at a point of engagement. And of course, you know, Valentine's is a big engagement holiday, and then all of a sudden it doesn't happen and/or doesn't play out the way that you wanted it to. And/or you're in a, in a relationship, you're married, you're partnered up with a significant other, and yet maybe it's 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road and things just don't happen the way they do when you initially started dating or when you first got married. I mean, of course, if you're single and you're recently broken up, or maybe you've been single for so long that you're just like, ah, another Valentine's. You know, whatever your status is, you can use Valentine's, like I said, as a day to intentionally slow down, take deep breaths, and really appreciate you, you. Because whether you're in a relationship or whether you're single, maybe you're single, very happy being on your own, or maybe you're single looking. And wanting to meet somebody. Um, they'll always say, just like they do on an airplane, you know, put the mask on yourself first before you help others. It's the same if you're wanting to really ground yourself and relish in love, is you need it— it needs to start with you first, and you're in a great solid love relationship with yourself before you can ever really maximize and, and I will even say exploit the love of others, whether that is friends, family, or a significant other. I, and I do not know if it is necessarily this particular year tied to, to Valentine's or not, but I had mentioned that my sister, Theresa, happy birthday, Theresa, her birthday is tomorrow. And now granted, it is a, It's a big birthday. And she'll probably kill me if I tell you, but she's going to be 60. And she should be proud of that. It's fabulous. It's wonderful. It, you know, it's far better than being 40 again or being 30 again. Trust me, for those of you younger than that or even like in your 20s and 30s. You know, 40 is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Kelly Ripa even this morning Bernadette Boas on her show was saying that, you know, your life starts— you start at 40. And not to say and not to discount, you know, anybody between 1 and 40, not at all. It's just you're just amazed at how life changes and how you, you change for the beauty that you are after 40. Anyway, so my sister Theresa. She's turning 60. It's on top of also Valentine's. She is married to— and she has a son, and they've been married for decades. Yet she's really doing everything in her power to avoid everything around this particular birthday, which happens to tie in with Valentine's. And to the point where we've thrown— remember, I'm one of 12, and I'm the 8th, She is the— let me think, she's the 5th, and so we've already had 4 siblings turn 60 and have had big bashes. They've thrown big parties for their birthdays. And so everyone's like really looking forward to relishing in Theresa, and yet she's having nothing to do with it, and she's threatening everyone that if anybody does anything, she'll be very disappointed and hurt and disrespected. And of course, I personally would never then do anything. I'm going to save that for the beach in May. But I am going to send her up flowers and, you know, at least help her celebrate herself. So, you know, if— just remember, if you are single or coupled and Valentine's is not, you know, a holiday for you, keep in mind, your status in the world does not define you. Your status in the world does not qualify or quantify your self-worth. The only thing that matters is how you feel about you. And quite honestly, you know, discounting even the history of, of where Valentine's and Saint Valentine's came from, uh, what this really is all about is making sure that you are loving and doting on you. Um, does that make sense? Uh, so I want to be sure that single, married, you know, uh, wishing that you were going out for a nice dinner with flowers and chocolate and all the trappings of Valentine's, um, you know, make sure you're also first taking care of you. But there are things— I shouldn't say but— there are ways and things that you could be doing to ensure that that happens. And this does pertain to even if you're in a beautiful, loving, connected, attentive, attentive relationship, meaning that you will get the flowers and the, and the authentic dinner out and just experience on Valentine's Day, uh, you still always want to kind of sit back first and really, even like that morning, wake up before you jump out of bed and get into life, just kind of, and with yourself, and sit inside your head, inside your heart, and just feel and experience, um, what a beauty that you are because none of us— we're all put on this earth as beautiful beings, and sometimes life just kind of paints it up and, and kind of, you know, messes with it. But that's what I take into Valentine's. I've had definitely relationships and boyfriends on, you know, during Valentine's, gotten the roses, gotten the dinners and whatnot. And at the same time, I more years than not, mind you, that I, I'm single on Valentine's, I still relish in it. I still just appreciate it. Yes, it is my mother's birthday, my sister's, um, right around there, but I just always relish in it because I do make sure that I take time to appreciate what I put out in the world and what I want to and what I continue to work on putting out into the world. Not to say that there hasn't been lonely, sad days in the past on Valentine's Day. But at the same time, that is what I also mean by the fact that it is beautiful to be 57. I will be honest with you. It was beautiful to be 50. It was beautiful to be 45. It was beautiful to be 40. It was beautiful all my birthdays. But, you know, you definitely evolve and grow and you get to a, to a point where you recognize that It starts with you. Everything starts with you before you can do anything in the world with other people or not. So, I actually just need some water before I— I'm about to start coughing in your ear. So, we're going to take a break. When we come back, I'm going to give you some ideas of what you could be doing to help you really celebrate you and then celebrate in any way you want to this special holiday. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@phvservices.com. Debra.parker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, we're talking Valentine's and you know, I was just mentioning before we took break, I love Valentine's, single or not, coupled or not, Valentine's. I love seeing the hearted candies, I It gives me an excuse to buy a box of one of those boxes of candy and, and sit at home or be out with friends and just kind of treat myself as well with those sweets. But we're talking Valentine's and I want to give you ideas if there's any way, shape, or form that you do struggle during this holiday. I want to give you some ideas of what you could be doing. And even if you're not, you don't struggle with it and you have a wonderful, fun, and you really enjoy Valentine's as well, these could just be ideas that you can add on top of it. I'm also going to open up the lines because I've noticed some folks coming on, and see if anybody has any questions, or stories, or challenges that you might want to share. If not, we'll just keep talking. So you can just jump in as you will, or as you want to, as we get into kind of giving you some ideas and tips. And thoughts in regards to how you can make Valentine's all about you this year. Sound good? All right, let's see. Excuse me. Excuse me. So one big thing that I find with even clients, because though I am a business coach and leadership coach, Everything about that is about friendships, and is it— is about that individual long before it's about that professional at corporate or in a business of their own. So we'll get into some of these things that impact their abilities at work, and Valentine's happens to be one of those, those things in one of those time periods that I can see a shift in in an individual, male or female, and I'll inquire about it. And so this has come up over, you know, the years that I've been coaching or consulting. And one of those things is— and ladies, you need to pay special attention because I do have some male listeners— is we just expect that the guy is going to take care of everything. And a lot of times are sorely disappointed when either they're one of those, like we discussed earlier, that forget that it's even the holiday, regardless of how many times they might have heard you comment or someone else comment about it or the commercials or, you know, whatever the case might be. They just happen to forget. They get in their own head, in their own world, and they forget. And/or they just don't put together the plans that you were expecting. And I have found that it really comes down to the fact that, as opposed to expecting it and expecting that individual, male or female, mind you, to read your mind, it is critical that it, like anything else, that you have open dialogue and communication in regards to your wants and desires and needs and what your expectations are. Because at least then you, whether you're just starting to date or whether you're very involved in, you know, a relationship, a partnership of any kind, it's, you know, it's still important as people evolve and change to, for you to share what it is that you're looking for and wanting and needing from any type of situation, even including Valentine's. Because even 5 years, 10 years, you know, 20 years down the line, some people evolve and, and ebb and flow to where, oh, those holidays aren't important to me anymore. And then others, they maintain, but yet your partner may not have, you know, ebbed and flowed in that same direction. So it's really important that you start communicating as early as possible as far as, you know, what it is you want and need. And then that way you can both collaborate, because again, conversations are collaborations. They're, you know, listening and talking. They're not just talking. They're also dialogues. They're not commands or demands. And they're just very, you know, forthright, open, transparent, authentic. Because what I've shared with individuals in the past is Because if you aren't doing that, or for some reason you say, oh, I can't have that conversation with him or her, well, that's a bigger problem. That's just a bigger situation to have to, you know, kind of be honest about and then confront and deal with than just making sure that your wants and needs and desires are communicated, especially if it's as simple as around Valentine's. Excuse me. And singles, the same goes for you. And granted, you're sitting there saying, "What the heck is she talking about? I'm not, you know, there's no one for me to have that conversation with." Well, it's a conversation that you would have with yourself. If you love Valentine's, that doesn't mean because you don't have a significant other you can't celebrate Valentine's. I've talked to you, all of you, in the past that when it comes to birthdays, for instance, but it also pertains to Valentine's quite honestly. Is I love to, uh, for instance, my birthday, we, we were supposedly having in Atlanta this major snowstorm and we were going to be trapped, just like 5 years ago on my birthday, um, we had Snowmageddon and we were all trapped in our homes because it was, uh, so icy and, and, uh, cold outside and snowy. So, uh, I wasn't able to have my special filet mignon steak dinner and wine and a piece of chocolate cake. And I'll do that for myself in a restaurant and/or I'll go and, you know, buy the groceries and cook myself a nice dinner and with a nice bottle of wine with a dessert of chocolate cake. So there's no reason that if you're truly honest with yourself and you answered that question up front, our rich question is, your feelings toward Valentine's. And you're single and you're, you're sitting there thinking, well, I really do like to receive flowers and I do like to get candy and I'd love to be able to go out for a nice dinner. Not to say you can't do that for yourself, or maybe you choose to call some friends who are all single and you, and you say, let's go have a nice Valentine's celebration amongst ourselves and the love of our friendship and our community type of deal. So there is a lot of things in that regard and in that communication. Because you can also be talking to friends about how you feel about Valentine's and days like this, despite the fact that you are on your own. So that open communication, I do not want to get too far away from it. So that open communication is key. Because if you cannot have it for something as simple as Valentine's. And I'm not talking the day before or the week before. I'm talking, you know, even, you know, at the beginning of the year or, you know, whatever the case might be that's suitable for you. You just sit down and you have this dialogue about how you feel about holidays, how you feel about celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever the case might be. What's your viewpoint on holidays like Valentine's? And having that open dialogue. Trust me when I say, in doing so, you will minimize a lot of stress. You will make sure your expectations are set appropriately. He or she might say, you know what, I'm not a big— I'm not a big holiday person. I'm not a big Valentine's person. I'm going to love you each and every day, and I'll, you know, show that through X, Y, and Z. For instance, I tell my family, friends, and loved ones when I am involved. I'm not good at birthdays. I'm— and meaning cards and gifts and whatnot. I'm great at picking up the phone and making sure we have a nice conversation or sending you a lovely note on your birthday, in some way acknowledging it, but I've never been good. Some of my sisters are so good, they have boxes with cards in it.. And, you know, and they make sure that, you know, they are stamped so every birthday, you know, that individual gets recognized. And kudos to them. Kudos, kudos, kudos. I happen not to be that type. And I make sure I set that expectation so people are not disappointed. So you could do the same. And you being open and honest and transparent about those things will not only help the other individual, but it will certainly help you level set and understand kind of where you're at, where that other person's at. And you do need to, you know, make sure that they are communicating openly and honestly with you. And you being honest, transparent, vulnerable, speaking of your fears or insecurities, will just allow that other person, not to say they won't be, you know, uncomfortable, but it will allow that other person to do the same with you. So then, like I said, excuse me, you can do that for yourself if you are on your own and, you know, you are single. And then you, whether you are coupled up or single, you have to manage the narrative that goes on between your ears. You know, even when you go and have these open communications with people, family, friends, lovers, you know, you, and all of a sudden it doesn't turn out the way you are. You know, the, the head games start up. Oh, maybe he or she doesn't love me the way I thought they did. Or, you know, oh, I'm just not worthy enough to, to have them, you know, shower me the way I want to be showered. Well, again, it's not about them. It's about what you, you know, how you talk with yourself and how you appreciate and love yourself and hold your value of yourself. That's what's important. And so you'll minimize any type of disappointment or sadness or depression or whatever the bitch could be by simply ensuring that you're totally okay should absolutely nothing happen.

You're—

that's totally okay. And you're okay if you happen to have a spouse or a loved one or a partner who just isn't a big, you know, showing of emotions and affections. And if that's what you need from them, then you need to discuss that with them and/or you need to do something about it. But you can't place blame and put that burden on them if they've expressed and/or, you know, you know them to be a a certain way. Remember, you can't change people. You can only change yourself. You can only change your viewpoint. You can only change how you talk to yourself, what your narrative is. So if you want dinner, flowers, chocolate, whatever the case might be, go do it. Go arrange to have that happen for you. Go arrange to have it happen for your friends, whatever the case might be. I know I absolutely love to do that. And sometimes it's not steak, sometimes it's something else, but you get the point. Same with, you can make it a spa day, you could do something fun and adventurous that day. You can take yourself iFlying. I don't know if you guys know iFlying, but it's that indoor parachuting, indoor skydiving. I did it once with a friend of mine several months ago, and now I'm hooked. And I've been buying it for other friends and even clients, 'cause it's such a blast. So just do something like that, and then we also, we already talked about, you know, you can make it a day with friends if that's the case. The key though is that you just need to get out of your head, and if you stay in your head, just make sure that what you're telling yourself and feeling within yourself is something that's building you up and putting you on a pedestal and helping you to appreciate who you are. Because anything else is just, you know, setting yourself up for disappointment. You can also— a couple of other little tidbits— you can also make it a day of gratitude. You know, really just sit down and really just make a list that despite the holiday, despite you being single, however you're feeling about it, you know, here are all the things that you're grateful for. Here, I am grateful for being single. I'm grateful for being single and happy. I'm grateful for being single and trying to figure it all out. I'm grateful for being in a relationship that I'm challenged or stressed with or struggling with, but, you know, looking for solutions. I'm grateful for the lessons that this relationship is teaching me because it's also bringing blessings into my life. You know, you can make it a day of gratitude if not anything else. You can sit down and make a list of all your beauty marks, as I call them. You know, we all have warts, we all have beauty marks. We all have bitches and we all have riches. And so honor your riches. Make a list, sit down, and just kind of use some time that day to kind of distract yourself if you are in a place of boo-hoo on the holiday, to really just sit down and say, you know what, I'm gonna really just focus on me and all the wonderful, beautiful, lovely, caring, kind things that I do. And, you know, what— how I feel about myself, and sit in that and really honor what I call honor your risk. Because you deserve it. Because you deserve it. Because come Sunday morning— or I'm sorry, come Friday morning, everyone, it's just going to be another fleet, you know, another day that has passed, that has come and gone. And it's just going to be another Valentine's. And then you, you know, you have you still on that Friday morning. You know, you didn't change all of a sudden within 24 hours, or you didn't become anybody different or new. You know, you're the same person you were on Wednesday as you were on Thursday, and you'll be the same person on Friday. Though you can be making shifts to a more positive, loving, self-love place by just kind of leveraging that day, really focusing and appreciating and loving on you. Makes sense. Well, and however you walk into the day and experience the day or come out of it on the following day, just know that everyone here, including Deborah Parker and myself and everyone within the Shedding the Bits community, we love you and wish you a happy, happy, happy Valentine's. And we'll look forward to having you back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Take care, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.