HATERS, Go F*** Yourself!!!! Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910.

Hello, hello, hello everyone. Good day, good day, good day, or morning, evening, or night, wherever you might be around the world. This is indeed Bernadette Boas. On Shedding the Bitch Radio. And it is an absolutely gorgeous, stunning, sunny day here, though I'm really, really just peeved, and I'll get to that in a second. But I love the opportunity to be able to share with you when I am, and maybe, just maybe, kind of make a difference in the world using— instead of just, you know, kind of being all in angst using that angst to benefit others, maybe yourself, maybe somebody you know, but whatever. We will get to that in a second. Um, but I am going to change— not change up what we're going to talk about today. It's still all about 25 Days Until 2015 and a prosperous new year. We're going to get to that, I promise. But I do need to bring up another subject prior to that. But before we do, Rich Tip Friday is right around the corner. It is Tuesday today, so you have time to get your questions, stories, and challenges. It's been quiet since a little bit before Thanksgiving, so I'm not sure if everybody's already hoo-hawling the holiday season. If you are, good for you. But Rich Tip Friday is each and every Friday where I take your questions, stories, and challenges, and I share them of what you sent me., on Facebook on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page, and then I answer them as bluntly, thoroughly, expertly that I can, providing you tips, advice, sometimes, sometimes some tough love. But that's right around the corner on Friday. The rest of the month where Shedding the Bitch Radio is concerned, we're going to be talking anything and everything about getting you ready for the new year. And you know, if you listen to this program at all, I'm really tough on you. About getting a plan, putting it in paper, making sure that you've thought, thought it through as to what it is, your intentions, your goals, your desires, your dreams, and putting a plan together to make sure you can be pursuing it. And sometimes you're gonna succeed, sometimes you're gonna misstep. Whatever the case might be, uh, I'm here throughout the year, online, offline, wherever you want to reach me, to kind of help you push through that.

All right.

So that's coming up all throughout the month of December leading into our first week of January. Then of course, I'm doing my own goal setting, worked on it over this past weekend, laying out my plan. Things are gonna change up for next year, all for the better, obviously. So if you have any input or advice or tips or feedback you wanna provide me, please go to our Facebook Shedding the Bitch page and be as straightforward, open, honest, direct, tough love. Give it back to me, and I'd be happy and actually honored to be able to take your own input as to what you'd like to hear and see and learn from Shedding the Bitch and Shedding the Bitch community and everything we do here. Charlie, I have a feeling, is gonna be active today because I have the door open, which was probably the first mistake. And at the same time there's no water hanging out around here for him, so he might jump in and say hello. So you could just say hello back. You can call in. I would love to hear from you, 1-818-572-2910, about our subject today, about any other subject, whatever it is you want to chat about. I'm live on Shading the Bitch Facebook page, so if you have any comments or questions, you can post them there. I'm also videotaping it today. And despite I've been ill, that's why I also had a replay last week of Inside the Bitch's Mindset. So take a listen to that. But I have been sick and I'm still struggling with the voice thing. It's even deeper than normal. However, I really felt it was important with this subject matter today, both not only the 25 days but this other conversation I want to have with you. I just decided despite my looks and my appearance and the fact that I'm in dog park clothes, I was gonna videotape this and put it online. Just because something's got to be done. All right, but before we dive into that, I'm gonna take a deep breath, take a 26-second pause, and bring you right back to have this conversation with you. All right, talk to you in a couple secs.

You are listening to Shit and a Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Be sure to check out her book, Getting the Corporate Bitch, Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon or sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsor, tsrtax.com, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. We'll be right back.

Alright everybody, I am back. This is Bernadette Boas on Shedding the Bitch Radio. You're gonna let me go off, aren't ya? Because I have to go off. I really need your help. I need you to support. I need you to rally, and I need your cheerleading to tell all the haters in the world to go fuck themselves. Seriously. So let me back up, calm, cool, and collected-like, and tell you why I have this issue right now. Well, and it's ongoing. Forget about the situations that are going on in the world, whether it be the wars, whether it be ISIS, whether it be Ferguson and New York City and all the bad decisions being made around, you know, how the police are handling individuals. It all sucks, it really does, and it has to change. It has to absolutely change. But this kind of is hitting more closer to home, and actually it hit my home. So I first want to back it up and say that this is dedicated to someone, one of my clients. I'm only going to refer to her as K. K is in the initial, by the way, not in the name. And the reason why I'm dedicating it to her is because the conversation I had with her this morning and then the situation I just encountered myself, which is stunned me. You know, just all comes together and it all relates, and we have to do something about it. And if you in any way, shape, or form have a heart of any kind— and I know my Sharing the Bitch community has a great deal of heart— you'll join in and help. And whether it's in your own little community, your own little home, your own world, whatever the case might be, but we have got to stop hating on each other. And, and more importantly, ladies, that are listening, we have to stop hating on each other. I mean, it is bad enough we have to deal with a lot of other what people will use as excuses and blame games and gender discrepancies and disparities and discriminations and all that kind of good stuff— race, color, you know, gender, whatever the case might be. But for us to just hate on each other for no other reason than us being successful, us being beautiful, us being smart, us being pursuing our goals, even if we're not even where we want to be, but we're actually making an attempt to do so and to do something in this world. And we have these people hating on us. So I have this lovely, lovely, lovely client. I adore her. And I don't say that— not necessarily, I don't say that about my clients, but this is someone I've been very persistent with. Because I really love what she's doing. I love what she stands for. I love her persistence in herself, even as many struggles and challenges that might come in her way. And yet she has such a good heart that, you know, she just needs to work, like we all do, need to work on just telling the haters to go fuck themselves. So we were on the phone this morning, and much longer than I expected, and I was glad to do it, trust me. Because here, this lovely woman who has a successful business and she's working really hard at it, let alone a family and children and a community, and she's in a community she's not even real comfortable in. She also has other women who meet with her hating on her, telling her, you know, kind of just discarding her input, discarding her expertise, discarding her raising up of issues, or even kind of opening her heart and voicing her own concerns and insecurities— what we call bitches around here. And she actually has experienced recently grown, mature, seasoned, expert, professional, successful women shut her down, shut her out, and hate on her. Now, it's one thing that that happens. It's another thing how it impacts individuals. And so that was, you know, the main topic of our conversation is just what she can do to kind of combat that. But there really is no reason for her to have to. If you have issues, if you have your own doubts and insecurities and you're not pursuing your goals and your dreams, you know, that's your issue to address. It's not to go vomit and hate on somebody else. And so she actually allowed it to impact her. No judgment there. We all handle those things in different ways, and until we have tools and we learn how to how to handle them and manage them and deflect them and project them and tell them all to fuck themselves. And she will do that because that's how smart and savvy and how determined she is. She will fight through the fact that as long as she's successful, as long as she's pursuing her goals and her dreams, as long as she's going after what she wants despite all the challenges that surround her, she is doing what she wants to do. And therefore, she is going to have haters, unfortunately. However, I would love at least our community here at Shedding the Bitch and our extended network to help each other and support each other, especially— and not disregarding men here at all— but especially women with women. We need to be supporting and uplifting. What is so wrong with saying congratulations, great job, I understand that struggle you're dealing with, I understand that yes, 'These issues might be impacting you, but they're not impacting me. I get it. What can I do to help you?' As opposed to, 'You know what, raise the hand. You know, it's not an issue. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You know, your young sassy self just needs to deal with it. Grow up and deal with it.' I mean, come on, come on. And I am so ashamed of, you know, of women, especially those of us, you You know, 40 is seasoned, but 50, 60— and so, and this person's like in the more 60-plus range— grow up. And as opposed to, you know, cutting somebody down and hating on another person, let alone another woman, let alone a young woman who's just simply looking to, to people like yourselves to lift them up, to mentor them, to guide them, and then you have the bitches within yourself to just, you you know, hate on them. Shame, shame, shame on you. So now, this brings me to me. So, and not to say that it brings it to me, but it does. But okay, so here, you know, so we get done our call and she says she feels so much better. Yes, there's things she's gonna work on and she's gonna do and she's gonna change, but she felt so much better. So then, I kinda close that out and I go and actually post, and you can go to Shedding the Bitch, our Facebook page, and You can see kind of what I posted, because I was kind of, I was, you know, I wasn't gonna let it hold on to me, but I was gonna use it. If I could use it positively and energetically and constructively, I was going to. So I went out and I did some posts, and I'm actually gonna write some articles on it. And I suggest that she do too. So I do, and I post a couple things. You can take a look at them. And I even posted like a saying. What was my saying? The ones who say you can't and you won't are probably the ones scared that you will. And that's the message basically I told her, my dedicated woman of the day. And I told her, I said, as long as you're successful, you're gonna have haters. You just need to recognize that they have their own issues and not let it project, at least not let it impact you. So, so we go on with our day. She goes on with her day. I go on with my posting. And then I decide to go out and run an errand. Now, long story short, I have a private driveway, meaning that only the homes that, you know, butt up against this alley, so to speak, can go up and down it and are meant to. And there's no other reason why anyone would. Well, there's this ho— house a few houses down who has a dog walker. The dog walker uses that alley for whatever reason. She uses our private driveway alley to take the dogs out for a walk of the homeowners that live there. So Charlie and I go bouncing out. I never have him on leash. It's my driveway. It's my property. And the minute he sees them, he, of course, he wants to go and say hello. So he runs up to them and she's freaking out. And she starts yelling at me, "Get him on a leash! Get him on a leash!" And I was actually upset with Charlie because I don't like him doing that. So I'm disciplining him and I'm getting him to, you know, you know, come back. And I'm asking him and ordering him to get into the car and, and to, you know, leave the woman and her dogs alone. And the woman is just yelling and screaming at me, and she's like, you need to have that dog on a leash! And I didn't respond— reply— I didn't respond, I didn't get upset, I didn't do anything. I just looked at her and she says, get that dog on a leash! And I simply said, ma'am, you're on private property. She's like, no, this is, you know, this is public property. I said, Absolutely not. This is my driveway, which kind of, you know, made her quiet. But then, of course, because the fact that I shut her down and I stood up for myself without getting upset, without, you know, my old self, you know, 7 years ago would have been like all over it, man. I would have vomited all over her. But I, you know, there was no reason for me to get upset. I wasn't gonna let her, you know, her junk, her vomit get all over me. So I just simply said, I'm sorry, you're on private property. She, you know, shut down, but then she turned around and said you know, just really loud, you know, bitch, she goes screaming at me. And typically, you know, even, you know, as nice as I think I am nowadays and calm, cool, and collected, I would, you know, immediately react and respond and just want to say back at you, or, you know, even maybe call her a bitch, but I don't think I would have. And, you know, I just chose not to because there was absolutely no reason to, plus I wasn't going to be that person. I wasn't gonna let that person who's actually in the wrong, who's actually handling this in a really, you know, bad way, you know, let her hate get all over me and then respond to it because that would have only, you know, proven that I'm just as bad and as much of a hater. And I just don't understand why we can't just have conversation, why we can't just raise an issue and debate it. And like, even my Client K, she was bringing up an issue, seeking support and help and advice from other people, and someone has to just throw up and vomit all over it and hate all over it. You know, it's just— oh, it just got me, got me, got me. Now, that said, I didn't let it get to me to the point— although it seems like it has, hasn't it? To where I was gonna let it, you know, negatively intrude on my very good happy disposition today because it is a gorgeous day here in Atlanta. But at the same time, I did hold on to it. I held on to it for this conversation. I held on to it for the articles I'm going to start scribbling as soon as we're off this program. And I am going to hold on to it until I can even send out back to Kay some, um, additional insights that I have from that, the whole experience. Uh, so all, you know, all I have to say to everybody is Look, forget the fact that it's even the holidays and everybody, you know, is supposed to be charitable and giving and joyful and holly, holly, holly and la, la, la. But we have to find ways within ourselves— each of us individually are responsible for this— to find ways to simply accept and be happy and engage and communicate and collaborate with one another. All this hate, all of this meaningless and quite honestly childish excuses and blame games and crap that people are putting out there simply because, and you know, like it or not, simply because they individually are dealing with issues or dealing with insecurities, fears, doubts, low self-worth, bitches as we call them around here, within themselves they're not willing to deal with, they're not willing to confront, they're not willing to shed. And therefore it's much easier, much easier to just tear somebody else down. That kind of just allows us to be comfortable in our own little crap and, you know, and see someone else, someone else's misery. And I'm just pleading to all of you, please, please. I know my community is a beautiful community and we do have our junk. Don't get me wrong. I'm not sitting here trying to say I'm Miss Prissy and Miss Angel and Miss Saint, and I won't be getting canonized, you know, anywhere anytime soon. However, all we need to do is consciously at least work at it. Okay, just work at it, because lovely individuals like yourselves, like Kay, like myself, we don't deserve to be treated like that. We don't deserve to be pulled down for no reason other than for someone else's insecurities. Bitches. So I just plead to everyone, let's do what we can individually, and then within our own family, within our own community, within our own little world, to make it a much happier and much more respectful world. Because you know what? This life, it's only one. It goes really fast, and before you know it, we're, we're no longer here. And the legacy that our children, that our family, that our friends have to live with, I'd rather be leaving it more joyful and more full of sunshine than some of the crap that's out in the world right now. So thank you very much for allowing me to, to divert the conversation of what we want to talk about today, which we are going to right after we come back from this short break. But thank you for letting me share. If you have any comments or input, even if you want to join in on the conversation Feel free to call me, 1-818-572-2910. Come onto the chat room within blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. Send me an email. Go out on Facebook on our Shedding the Bitch page and leave a comment. Any way, shape, or form you want to communicate and join in and dialogue about this, I would love to participate with you. And like I said, I am videotaping this so I can make the same plea out into our Shedding the Bitch YouTube world. And maybe we can all work together to make not only the new year but the new life a lot more joyful and happier and richer. Shifting from bitch to rich. So for all of us.

Alright?

So we are going to take a little short break and then I'll be right back and we'll talk about the 25 Days to Prosperity in 2015. Thanks everybody. Be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Be sure to check out her book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon or sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsor, TSRtax.com, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. We'll be right back.

Welcome back to the program everyone. This is Bernadette Boas and you're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio. And I should mention, I'm not sure why my commercial did not, if there's any chance, any businesses, any organizations or associations out there that also want to sponsor Shedding the Bitch Radio, please feel free to reach out to me, BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. As I mentioned, 2015, this is a good segue. Into 2015 conversation and our 25 Days to Prosperity. Because 2015 is gonna see a lot of changes around Shedding the Bitch. Not to our core values and our core platform of helping you to discover, confront, and shed the bitches of insecurity, doubts, negativity, anything that's holding you back in order for you to be able to create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. That's not changing in any way, shape, or form. However, this past year, this past work with you, this past, um, kind of segue into even screenwriting and doing a lot more writing and speaking, um, on the subjects of women in leadership, on the subject of haters, on this subject of dealing with difficult people, on the subjects of just trying to kind of really find our true self I really am going to look at making sure that our dialogues are even more impactful than they are today as to how we engage with each other, how we talk with each other, work with each other, support each other within all of our communities, whether that be on Shedding the Bitch, on Twitter, on our sheddingthebitch.com website, even out on LinkedIn because a lot of you kind of reach out to me through LinkedIn as well. So that said, the second part of my program, the second part of our program and episode today is gonna be dedicated to someone that you hear a lot about and who's been pursuing her own goals and dreams this, this year. And I'll be sharing and talking with her on Friday and finding out just kind of what is her take on all the goals that she set out to do and all the achievements that she's had. And yet I know for a fact, because I'm with her each and every week, I know for a fact that it's up and down and there are some misses and some, you know, wins. So it's an overall journey that she's even on. So it's dedicated to my friend one of my mentors and someone I have a high, high level of respect for, as well as my own business coach who kind of keeps me grounded and pursuing my own goals and dreams and helping me to also shut out the haters, but also welcome. I also have to, you know, do an ongoing job of welcoming all the great things that come into my life because I tend to kind of close you know, kind of keep an arm's distance away from them. Anyway, so this goes out to Joan Curtis, this conversation about goals and dreams and really getting ready for a prosperous new year. And the reason why is she had a very ambitious year this year.

You—

I talked a lot about her, so she's just released her book, and I want everyone, please, I'd love for you to go out and support her as well. And her book, The Clock Strikes Midnight, was just published on November 25th by Muse It Up Publishing. It's available on Amazon and Barnes Noble and anywhere you can buy an e-reader— or I'm sorry, an ebook. And it is getting great reviews and great attention and great interest and great engagement because of the characters and just the way she went about writing the book. It's a, it's a really an awesome book. But that said, I digress, uh, she really had a full year of some very ambitious goals for herself and for this book and for her projects and for, you know, how she was going to work in all the other things that she has going, which is a lot more writing because she has her next book— early commercial— her next book, E-Murderer, coming out in just the spring of 2015. So I thought about her when I was planning this conversation, which I pretty much have with you every December, about how to get ready for 2015. So this is dedicated to her and to everyone within the Shit and Bitch community. What can you be doing now to be prepared for 2015. And it comes down to first this, because we're going to spend all month talking about it. So today is going to talk about really honoring the good, the bad, the ugly about 2014, about where you are right now, right at this very moment in time, and what has happened over the last 11 months. Because until we get that grounded and assessed and looked at and kind of put behind us, so to speak, will we be really prepared and optimized for the new year. Alright, so we'll get into the new year and that stuff on next week's program and the next couple weeks. Today though, we're gonna talk about what you could be doing very simply. It will take you a lot of deep digging and it will also take you looking into a mirror. If not literally, and then to just kind of in black and white, like I always talk about, just look at it logically and say, okay, what kind of changes and adjustments do I need to make? All right, so if you want to go grab a pad and paper, you may do so, but you can also come to shedinthebitch.com before the end of the week, and I'll be posting a blog article on the same subject. And that will give you also the same and/or even more tips for you as to what you could be doing right now to take a look at and assess 2014 in preparation for the New Year. So this is what I'd like you to do first. You know, just put out a statement for yourself. Kind of declare this, this year. So for instance, I could go back to at least 2009 Um, maybe 2008 could just be called The Firing. No, actually 2007 would be called The Firing. Then 2008 would be called Shedding the Bitch. And then 2009 would be Discovering Shedding the Bitch. 'Cause I discovered the idea to write my book. Actually, it could also be called Come to Jesus. 'Cause that was a come to Jesus year for me. 2010 was the year of the piranha.

For me.

Long story, we'll go into that another time. 2011 was called, uh, the Year of Stickiness. 2012 was called the Year of Broken Promises. 2013, the Year of the Screenplay. 2014 has been the Year of the Rewrite. Now, for more explanation on that, you'll have to wait for my next book, uh, because I've been asked a lot about documenting this journey that I've been on, so I'm going to do that. So what I'd like you to do is look at this past year for yourself and just make a statement about it. What does it look like? What did it look like to you? And it could be a summary of the overall year, it could be a couple sentences, it could be just kind of your emotion about it. And if your paper remains blank, then you want to look at that even harder because you want every minute of every day, let alone a year, to mean something. Whether it means something to somebody else, that's great and wonderful, and we'll get to that. But initially, it has to mean something to you, because at the end of the day, at the end of the week, the month, the quarter, and the year, and let alone your lifetime, you don't want it to be a blank sheet or a blank tombstone. Epitaph on your tombstone. So you really want to make sure that what you're focused on each and every day is making it purposeful, making it meaningful. And that kind of ties into what we'll talk about in the coming weeks about goals. Why get up every day and work as hard as we do and live life as hard as we do without a purpose and without a goal? But in the meantime, we're going to look at where this year was, and if you're able to describe it Great. And again, if you're not and you have a blank piece of paper, that's okay too. Don't beat up on yourself. This is not about anybody judging you. This is only for yourself. And the worst person that can judge you is you, because that's the only judgment that matters, is yours. Doesn't matter what I think of you. Doesn't matter what Joe Schmo or the woman down my driveway— if you're watching this on video, you're gonna get a kick out of what I just did. Um, And it doesn't matter, you know, what an older, seasoned, mature, expert woman says about you. It just matters what you say about you. So I want you to think about that first. So now you have this kind of, you know, capture of what it is that you're thinking about and what it is that you're doing and what it is. And if my callers— I'm getting callers on— My callers, if you do want to ask a question, you can chat me a statement that you want to ask a question, or you can hit 1 and that'll release you into the queue. If not, I'm going to let you hang out and listen. So I want you to think about that first, and then what I want you to do is I want you to look back at the year, okay? And I want you to look back at it very honestly, very clearly, very nakedly.

Woohoo!

No, you don't— do not need to get undressed, please. And if, and if you do, just don't record it like I'm recording right now. Um, but you want to look at it honestly and you want to say, okay, what did I set out this year to do? And again, if your paper's, you know, blank, don't worry about it. Maybe you didn't set goals, maybe you didn't have a plan. That's okay, trust me. Um, but if you did, write it down and then look at it and say, okay, what have I accomplished this year? And even if you don't have goals, you could do this. What have I accomplished this year? What did I actually do? What did I achieve? Because trust me, there's some days, weeks, months that I kind of even get on the phone with Joan or whomever and I'll be like, I don't know what happened this past week. I have no clue what just kind of transpired for 7 days, 24 hours within each one of those days. I just— everything looks blank. Um, it happens. But honestly, what did you accomplish? And also, the one thing I find, especially for those women listeners out there, one thing I find that a lot of women don't do is they don't honor and recognize the fact that they actually have gotten a lot done. And they actually have a lot more achievement than they give themselves credit for. And I don't care if this relates to people in the workplace, or this is relating to people, um, like, um, at home, mothers that stay at home, or this has to do with somebody who's out of work. I don't care. Uh, everyone has achievements, everyone has contributions they're making to the world. You may not feel them, and that's one of the things that this will help you kind of break through. And what we'll talk about over the coming weeks is You may not feel that you're making contributions or that you're giving out to the world or that you're making a difference, but trust me, no human being was put on this earth, whether you believe in God or not, to not have a purpose and have a meaning and have contribution. And therefore, you have to kind of be honest— not even honest, you have to be humble enough to recognize in yourself what you've been contributing. And I, you know, I've had people kind of break down and cry to me, struggling with trying to kind of own that and be honest with themselves. And that's okay, because again, you're doing this for yourself, and in some cases by yourself, and in most cases actually. And if you choose to and you want a safe environment, then find it, whether that's from a friend that you could really trust, a family member, uh, a peer even a professional, even a professional psychiatrist, even a professional coach, whomever. But you want to just strip away your vanity, strip away your ego, strip away your insecurities, and really honor what I call honor your riches, what it is that you've accomplished. Now I built you up, I've pumped you up, and here comes the whammer. You have to do the same thing when it comes to what you didn't accomplish, or maybe not even what you didn't accomplish, but maybe what you even took from the world. And what I mean by that is, um, you can certainly understand what it means to not accomplish something if you feel you haven't, or if you've missed an objective, or if you've, you know, kind of failed— and I hate that word— so misstepped in really pursuing the goals or whatever statement or intention you had. Maybe you just decided and excused yourself away from actually going after it. You know what? That's just the way it is. That's just what happened, and therefore just own it, be okay with it, forgive yourself if you have to, and we'll talk about that. But you have to just acknowledge it, because self-awareness, unbounded awareness, is the key to success. Is you being aware of all the good, the bad, the ugly about Forget about the world and what's happening outside of you, but what's happening inside of you is the only thing, the only thing that is the difference between you achieving the success that you want in your life and you not. So you want to be really honest about it. And then the other thing that I had mentioned was not only recognizing the achievements, but maybe you've depleted the world or you depleted your achievements or your intentions. And those are those situations maybe that you've gotten yourself into that maybe you projected out in the world ugliness, maybe you projected out to somebody, an individual, ugliness, or even to yourself. Maybe you, you know, were sitting at home kind of feeling sorry for yourself or drinking the day away or the night away or your excuses away or your fears or insecurities away, or maybe you're eating too much, or maybe you're not eating enough, or maybe you're overworking, maybe you're smoking and carrying on, maybe you're— I'm way too old for all that. But maybe you're just abusing yourself in some way, shape, or form. And that's you depleting the world of who it is that you really are, and it's depleting yourself of who you truly are meant to be. So therefore, you want to acknowledge those things. So I'll give you a for instance, because you know I love throwing myself under the bus. So I would say the fall of 2000— when was it? The fall of 2012. I would say that I got myself in a position where I was definitely kind of tipping back, you know, the wine, and I'm not really a big wine drinker. But I just got kind of like to a place of feeling lonely and feeling like I was just sitting on the couch. All I was doing was working 24/7, and the only thing I had kind of comforting me is not only Charlie— and trust me, he's been my lifesaver over the past 8 years— but I also found myself saying, okay, well, I'm not really spending money, I'm not really going out, I'm not really you know, investing in anything. I mean, I mean nothing. And therefore I'm just gonna sit at home, I'll buy a, you know, a cheap bottle of wine or a beer and I'll just kind of, you know, comfort myself in that. And that's not me. I mean, I don't do that. Do I have a beer at home by myself? Absolutely. Do I do it day in? Not day in. Do I do it night after night after night? Absolutely not. And all of a sudden I found myself, like, after about 30 days, maybe not quite You know, exactly 30 days, but maybe a month, month and a half. And I looked back and I thought, "Oh my God, what did I just do?" And I cut that off real fast. But yet I had to acknowledge that, I had to own that, I had to be okay with that. And I had to change it and then forgive myself for it. And so when you look at your past year, you want to look at your good things, the achievements, the accomplishments, all the things that you've put out in the world. But you also want to look at those things that you may have depleted from yourself this past year, whether that be a missed goal or objective, maybe that be an excused away goal or objective. I've even, if I'm going to be real honest, I even bought a Groupon yoga set of classes like 3 months ago and I have failed to go to it. And I will use failed in that way right now because I have not gone and taken one class. And I actually had to sit down the other night because I actually remembered I had it. I completely forgot. And I had to figure out why did I dismiss it. And I figured out that I dismissed it because I was a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin at the moment. And I— or the last few months, I guess. And I did not want to kind of put on tights that you would wear to a yoga class versus what you can kind of COVID up in a gym. And go to a yoga class. I just wasn't mentally, you know, kind of secure enough to do that. And I guess what I did too is I had also bought a physical fitness trainer Groupon, and I said to myself, obviously unconsciously, I'll go and do that first, and then I'll feel a little bit better about myself, and then I'll go to these yoga classes. Well, when I realized this, I think it was Thursday night or Friday night, I just wanted to smack myself upside the head. And I quickly changed gears and I got myself into that yoga class despite whatever it was that I needed to wear and how I felt about it. I had to push myself through that because that wasn't doing anybody any good. Well, it doesn't do anybody good except myself, either good or bad. So, you just really— and I'm spending a lot of time talking about how the fact that you have got to be open and honest both honoring the riches that you have in your life as well as acknowledging those things, those bitches that might be holding you back from what it is that you want. Because both of those things people don't focus on when it comes to— they just think, okay, I'll come up with a goal. I want a new job, I want a salary increase, I want a new house, I want a new man in my life, I want a new I want a new vacation, whatever the case might be, but they really don't think about what is it that I need to contribute of myself mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and even financially. What do I need to invest in order to make that dream come true? And some of that investment is recognizing that there are sabotagers. Inner speak, there's negative doubts and self-belief of yourself, all the bitches that we talk about that are ultimately going to sabotage you unless you recognize them, acknowledge them, put a plan in place to address them, and then, you know, work to shed them as we talk about here. So, you want to look at all of it. And I also say that you need to put it on a piece of paper. You want to put it out on black and white. You want to look at what you've accomplished, what you honor within yourself, what you've given to the world, what you've contributed to your family, maybe to the community, maybe to your job, to whatever, all of it. You also want to look at those negatives that we talked about. Now, once you put it on a piece of paper, it's going to become very unemotional. It's black and white. Yes, could it be painful to kind of acknowledge that about yourself?

Sure.

But being in black and white, now you can come up with a plan to either change those things about it in 2015 or going forward that you see within that pile of stuff you just acknowledged, or you want to just make slight little adjustments because things are working, or you need to make radical changes. And those radical changes can be you acknowledge that these people aren't doing you well as I talked to my client this morning about, these places that you're associating with or going to might not be the most, you know, valuable, most love-contributing or health-contributing to you. Maybe it's just your own self that you have to work on, but there's always going to be things that you possibly need to delete from your life, fire from your life, change in your life, enhance in your life. Continue in your life. And you want to kind of get that all out there because it just then becomes a plan. And you can look at it and say, all right, well, I'm happy with these things, not so happy with these things. I'm not sure how to handle this one, and maybe I'm too scared to right now, but let me work on these other things first. And I will work on those other things as long as you're dedicated to and determined to do that, and then I'll get to this more important thing here. And/or maybe I'll work on these other things because I can do them myself. I'm not really ready to kind of go and find help or support or ask for help or support. In the meantime, I'll work on getting myself to that point and then I'm gonna attack that one too. So, I am not here and no one should ever tell you that all of a sudden, you know, you're gonna put out a plan, dump all your emotions, excavate as I call it, excavate your soul. And the world is going to look rosy and bright and everything is going to come together. I'd love to tell you that that's—

that's—

nirvana is there. But I will tell you this. If you find a process, if you find a place in your life, contentment in your life, where you have the tools, you have the mindset, you have the will and the determination to ongoingly look at these things— is that a word?

Ongoingly?

If to ongoingly look at those things and be honest about those things and to address those things and work on those things, then you know what? What you are going to find is that you're a confident, secure individual at a moment in time to where when something comes up And this is a lot of what I discussed with Kay, and also that's an initial as a reminder, it's not my dear friend out in California. But, and it's also going to be what she and/or even myself with the individual earlier who was calling me a little bitch, how we can handle those type of situations. We have the tools now, we have the confidence, we have the moment in time even of feeling very content in who we are and in our own skin, that when something ugly does pop up, does pop up because it will, then we know how to handle it. Like I said, if it were me 7 years ago running into that woman in my own driveway calling me the B-word, trust me, I'd be on the 6 o'clock news. Seriously, I would have been on the 6 o'clock news. And yet I have found over the years, and trust me, like I said, it doesn't, you know, doesn't happen overnight. I've come to a place within myself at one moment in time where I choose to not go there. I choose to not allow someone else that has that type of junk within themselves to allow me to become junk and ugly and a hater. And you can do the same thing because all you need is that moment in time. So it's not as if I'm saying you're never going to have issues and insecurities and the bitches, you know, rising up within you. It does seem that life, you know, takes care of one but then pops up another, and it's true. But what I'm saying is what you are going to find and you are going to learn through assessing where you're at, at this very moment in time. And being that it's a new year transition over the last 12 months, you're going to be able to look at it very honestly and very boldly and say, I like this stuff, love all this stuff that I've achieved and accomplished and I put out in the world and who I am, and these things need to be changed and/or dramatically, you know, shifted. And I'm good with that. And I'll find the resources, I'll find the help, I'll give myself the permission to be scared, to be fearful, to be pained, to be sad, to be stressed, whatever the case might be. But I'm working toward them. I'm finding the resources, the tools, and affirmations, prayers, meditations, whatever it might be, uh, and I'll work toward each one of those, um and get myself in a place where then when something else comes up, I have those things in my back pocket to lean on. And that's what this assessment for 2015, preparing you over the next 25 days for January 1st of a new year and every day. It's not even just about January 1st, but because your ears seem to perk up when there's milestones out there, because mine do, mine does, mine do, mine does. Mine do as well, then if I have your attention, I'm going to use it. So if January 1st is a good milestone and point of resolution for you, then take advantage of it and use this next 25 days building up to January 1st to just kind of do your, do your cleaning mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. And with around the new year. And trust me when I say 2015 will be a fabulous year for you if you do take those steps. Okay? We're going to take a little break. I'm just going to then come back and we're going to talk. We're not done yet. We're not done yet, so don't go anywhere. But we'll continue talking this conversation and discuss with you some other things leading up to January 1st and what's going to go on with Shannon the Bitch Radio over the next few weeks in our conversations of making 2015 your rich and prosperous year and life. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Be sure to check out her book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon or sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsor, TSRtax.com, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. We'll be right back.

And I've opened up the phone lines in case anybody wanted to do a shout-out or ask a question. I'll leave them open for about 15 seconds, and if not, then I'll close them out and we'll continue talking. But you're listening to Shit in the Bitch Radio. This is Bernadette Boas. And we are talking, well, we're talking haters too, and hopefully, you know, I don't have haters in my community. But we also are talking 25 days to a prosperous life in 2015. So we'll just leave them open for a couple seconds before Charlie starts barking up behind me.

So, Yes. Are you able to hear me?

I am.

Good. Hi, this is Shelly.

Well, hello there, Shelly.

Hi, I'm glad that I saw your notes, and this has just been fabulous. Thank you for everything that you've contributed today. Um, it's really so powerful for me to look back at the last year, not on what I didn't accomplish and, you know, what happened last year in any negative light whatsoever. Just the accomplishment, you know, how really acknowledging for myself what I have done right.

Right.

And what I have accomplished. And that has just been so important to me and it carries me into the next year full of hope and not hope but just, you know, really energetically. Knowing that, wow, I did that much last year instead of focusing on what I didn't do. Imagine what's going to happen in 2015.

Right, absolutely, and that's— I'm so glad that you joined in to raise that up because other people, you know, would love to hear that as well. And though I will, you know, throw out there that looking at what didn't get accomplished isn't to kind of smack you across the face, but more so What part did I have in those things not happening? And then therefore, what can I do differently toward any other goals I'm now going to, you know, establish for the new year? So, Judith—

I love your example about the yoga class. That was really helpful because I know too that there are some missed opportunities for me. And so I love that and I will take that on. Inquiry about what had me not take that opportunity on.

Right, well, because we have to kind of acknowledge those things because most of the time when people set out, they set out with great intentions on their goal, their New Year's resolution, which we'll all find, you know, get created January 1st and they're gone by February 5th from what the statistics tell you. But, and that's simply because they just don't focus on why it is that they either want that goal or what is stopping them from pursuing that goal. So if we can, you know, just take a moment to just to ourselves, we don't have to be telling anybody where, you know, where our ugly panties are. We just have to tell them for ourselves and move on from there to ensure that whatever new goals and intentions, whether it's January 1st or September 10th, We Create, we don't allow ourselves to be the sabotagers of our own success. So I appreciate you sharing. Thanks, Shelley. You're welcome. So on that note, everybody, that's simply what I would like for you to do. And to take some time, whether it's 5 minutes or it's an hour, whatever time you need to, to kind of acknowledge what you achieved this year and honor that. And then also acknowledge what you've— you overlooked or excused away or didn't contribute that you sought out to, and/or you contributed it And it's not necessarily a goal or intention or, or something that you purposely, consciously put out in the world, but maybe it wasn't quite who your true self or what your true self would have done. And I'm talking about the ugly that we might put out in the world, and we all do it. There's all— whether it's to ourselves, we put ugly out in, in ourselves any and every day that we get up and we start negatively talking down about ourselves or we start hiding from who we are or what we want or what we want to achieve, we're putting junk out in the world. We're not putting our true self out into the world. So, all this kind of self-reflection and assessment is to kind of dig deep, excavate your soul to the point where you begin to see your true self. And trust me, that true self is only going to want to put, you know, good things out into the world and out into their own spirit, so to speak. And that is what, what being put on this earth intended for, is for you to achieve everything you're meant to achieve, but only if you believe it, that you deserve and are meant all the riches that life has to give you. So I want to remind everyone, help the haters. Kind of throw your hand up at them, don't engage with them. Help to, you know, put beauty into the world as opposed to hate. Speak up, defend it, defend yourself, defend others. However, it doesn't need to be done by smacking somebody down or tearing someone apart or being negative or calling someone a Bitch, because that's not what Shedding the Bitch is all about. We're here to help you discover, confront, and shed the things that are holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams so you can create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So Rich Tip Friday is right around the corner. Get me your questions, stories, and challenges out on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page. Stay tuned for next week. We're gonna be talking about getting off your rump, getting into goal-setting mode to the New Year's champagne, you know, clanking of the glasses and the kisses that happen at midnight, and having your goals laid out and well-defined going into the new year so you can achieve those riches. So for everybody here at Shedding the Bitch Radio and our whole Shedding the Bitch community, thank you so much for participating, listening today live, or if you've taken us with you And please share your thoughts, comments, and feedback on Shunning the Bitch Facebook page, as I would love to know what you'd like from us and from me in the new year.

Alright?

So thank you to Shelley, our listener, and all the listeners, but our call-in, and to Joan, who I dedicated one part of the program to, and then also Kay, and to all of the people that support supporting Shedding the Bitch. Thank you so much, and I'll look forward to speaking to you right here this time next week, Tuesday, on Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches, and the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.