How #Kindness Can Achieve Riches For You with Bernadette Boas

Hello, hello, and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone, and happy Valentine's Day! How is everybody's Love Day going. I know for myself, I am very excited. There is love and even kindness and spring is in the air, at least here in Atlanta, Georgia. We have, in the middle of February, we have the trees blossoming, the flowers, the birds chirping, and I pray to God they don't get an absolute shocker coming to them between now and, and the actual real transition. But it is warm here. It is getting up to, I do not know, mid-60s today, 70s tomorrow. We are in the South, but we still do get some decent degree of, of winter. And so we are loving it. At the same time, we are just holding on tight, worried that, you know, something all of a sudden is going to pop into us. But that is okay because today is a day of love, and it's a day of kindness. And we're going to be talking all about kindness in a few minutes. I also want to do a shout out to my entire family, friends, and network. I'm sending you my love, especially my family. It's been a while since I've gotten to physically hold on to them and hug them, although we're constantly talking with each other on social networks. But I love you. Happy Valentine's Day. Today is my mother's birthday. She's passed now 4 years this coming March, which is just unbelievable how fast the time has gone. And yet we never forget to also just acknowledge the day that she was brought into this world and has 12 beautiful children carrying on her legacy, as well as my father's, who's been passed for a while as well. So it's a special day here in the Shed in the Beach community for so many reasons, and one of them is for all of you who are with us on a weekly basis or daily basis out on our networks, and we just love, love, love being here for you. We have Deborah out there, Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services. She's out there Facebooking, tweeting, just waiting for you to jump out and ask your questions, tell your stories, and whatever you need from us as well. Uh, let's see, our private Facebook group, uh, Shift to Riches, is, um, slowly building a community. I'd love for more of you to be out there and on there and, uh, collaborating and discussing. And you need to tell me what you would like as part of a community which is really all around helping you create riches in all areas of your life. And as well, we have our masterclass out there, our online masterclass, 5 Steps to Riches in Your Career, Business, and Life. It's a complimentary masterclass. It really walks through my story, but then it turns to you to say, if I did it, you could certainly do it. And I walk you through the, the actual 5 steps, as I call it, my Shift to Riches Formula. That I found I went through as I was kind of shifting and shedding all the angst and ugliness that I was holding on to, all the negative belief systems, all the inner demons. We call them bitches here in this community. And, uh, provide you— I actually provide you actual steps and things you could be doing to also kind of just get out of your own way and get unstuck or stop struggling or stop playing the victim or stop just boo-hooing, you know, through your day and how you can actually just breathe deep, clear yourself, shed yourself of just that heaviness. I call it angst for a reason, but just that heaviness that might be just causing you to just not be your true self and your fulfilled self and the person that you are meant to be in all of your glory. So that's our online masterclass. You can go to sheddingthebitch.com, our blog, and you'll see it posted there. You can also go to Facebook or Twitter or ballafireconsulting.com and, you know, just claim your spot as I mentioned out there. And take a good 55 minutes for yourself. And if you are into wanting a change in your life, if you are wanting something new, something different, a shift, then 55, 60 minutes is nothing of an investment that you could be making into pursuing the goals and the dreams that you have for yourself. So we wanna help you with that, and let us know as well. Come back to Facebook, come back to Twitter, come back to sheddingthebitch.com and let us know what you thought of it and what more would you like from us because we will be rolling out more and more content and programs and opportunities for you to really create your riches in all areas of your life. Let's see, we have some great upcoming guests and it kind of covers the gamut which I absolutely love. We have Gila Goertz. Now, you know I'm a dog lover, my Charlie, and Gila has a whole unique approach of how to kind of look at life. And so hers is, her, the program is going to be called Fur Covered Wisdom. I'm sorry, Fur Covered Wisdom: A Dog Can Change the Way You See the World. Now, I don't know about you, if you are a dog owner out there, but I definitely know that Charlie was sent into my life from my dad, actually. My dad had passed in 2005, and Charlie came into my life in 2006, and he changed my world. He absolutely changed the way I see the world. So, I am so looking forward to talking to Gila about her fur-covered wisdom ideas of how a dog can change the way we see the world. And then the following week, a topic dear, dear, dear to my heart is from Sarah Ellison, and we've been trying to get her on the show for quite a while. And she's going to be talking about my favorite subject of lessons from a difficult person on how to deal with us. So I'm not sure of her perspective just yet. Actually, I'd like to be surprised. Surprise as we get more and more into the interviews. But if I, if I understand it, it's just definitely going to hit on what we talk a lot of here about shedding the bitches within that cause us to project out and cause us to be negative to the world and negative to you and negative to strangers and negative to employees and negative to anybody that comes into our path. So she's going to help us understand from her perspective as to how to deal with that type of person. Coming from right from the horse's mouth, so to speak, or the individual's mouth, so to speak. So that'll be a very active and exciting conversation. And then of course, do you believe it? We're going to be at the end of February in no time because the following week is the first week of March and it's all the way into March 7th where we have our Ask Bernadette episode here on Shutting the Bitch Radio. All around your career, your specific business, your specific life questions. And so look forward to that on February— I'm sorry, I'm sorry, on March 7th. And go to Shedding the Bits either on Facebook or Twitter. Obviously it's easier on Facebook. And if you have a question, if you have a story, if you're dealing with some sort of struggle or challenge in your career, in your business, or in your life, then definitely to take advantage of sending in your questions. If you don't want to post it for the world to see, that's also why our private Facebook group is out there. It's a community that you can feel safe and, and feel protected in. So you can post it to that, our Shift to Riches private Facebook page, or you could even email me directly at Bernadette Boas at— I'm sorry, BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com, and I'll be sure to even answer you the minute you do provide something into me, or I will, and/or I will bring it right here. And you even have an opportunity anonymously, if you'd like, to call in at any time, 1-818-572-2910, and call in to, to me directly so we can have a conversation. Even more so than what we can get done on a Facebook post or a Twitter feed. So tons of opportunities to engage with us here at Shedding the Bits. And, and we are here, and our goal is to be able to help you with whatever it is that you might be struggling or dealing with. So let's see what else. Our conversation today, and I'm looking at my board board because our guest has not arrived yet, so we'll figure that out in a minute. Deborah, I'm not sure if you've heard anything. No, I haven't heard a thing.

I haven't heard a thing.

Okay, all right, we're going to have to place a call out to that number, and I'm going to call the— we'll get the backup number called as well during our break. But our conversation today is all about the profit of kindness. Now, you know how I often, and a lot of gurus out there often talk about the law of attraction, or what you put out in the world is what you get back into the world, and the fact that, you know, to serve is to receive. So you serve and you give kindness, and that's what's going to come back to you, not necessarily directly, but in some other form and fashion that you would benefit from. So our conversation with Jill Lublin today is all about the profit of kindness, and she's going to walk through the 7 pathways, as she describes it, to kindness and how that can help you as far as really opening yourself up, as well as welcoming the universe to help you achieve whatever goals and dreams that you have. So the talking points, things that you're going to hear, listen for, are what are those 7 pathways, how can kindness help you in your business, and then, of course, in today's intense world, what kind things can you be doing to then open up the spheres of influence that surround you, and then what is your role in kindness and perpetuating spreading and, you know, not only random acts of kindness, but overall being kind to the world and to yourself. So I am stalling a little bit just so we can get some phone numbers lined up, but when we get back, your rich question I want you to be thinking about, because we're going to have this conversation one way or the other because it's an important one. So the one thing I want you to think about is what is that one thing? That you could be doing differently to spread kindness? And I even mean to yourself, not only to other people. Because a lot of times we focus always on other people, and yet, what can you be doing to be kind to yourself? Even yesterday, and I'll talk about it when we get back, but I was kind to myself, but it took a lot of energy for me to do that. And I'll share with you what I mean by that when we get back. So what is the one thing you could be doing differently? And then hashtag with us on Twitter, on Facebook, and the hashtags to use are #bkind and then of course #shedthebitch. And you can always use #motivation as a way to also get ahold of us. All right? So when we get back, we're going to take a break, we will get back into this conversation of the profit of kindness. Talk to you soon.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media relations at sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back, everyone. We will track her down. And Deborah, let me just ask you real quick, do you still have that phone number I gave you?

Yes, I do.

Okay, do you have means to be able to call that number and see if our guest will be joining us?

Uh, I will give it a try and I will get back to you in just a minute.

All right, thanks. So everybody, we are talking profit of kindness. Now this is not, this is not my terminology, so I want to make sure I give credit to where credit is earned and deserved, and that is with Jill Ludlund, who I met Jill, gosh, back in 2009. We were both part of an entrepreneurial organization that kind of— it was like an incubator, and, and they still exist. CEO Space, a shout out to them, CEO Space, and they provide an opportunity for entrepreneurs to come together for a good amount of time and to work on whatever business strategies, whatever business that it is that they're trying to to start, grow, or manage. So I met Jill. She is a, she is a great publicist and a networking magnet. And so her, she's co-author of Guerrilla Publicity and Networking Magic. And so she and I hit it off quickly only because of her energy and her personality and, and everything that she puts into, uh, helping her clients in regards to, uh, getting them known, getting them, um, promoted, and getting them visible out into the world. So long story short, it didn't surprise me at all when I, uh, kind of saw her out there and I saw that she was— had this new book, The Prophet of Kindness. Talking about how you could be really altering the trajectory of not only your business, but your life through kindness. So we're gonna try, we're gonna track her down and hope to God that there wasn't any major situation that came up as a result of being here today. We'll just keep our fingers crossed that all is well and there might be just some technical issues. But this idea of kindness, I also started kind of spreading it out on sheddingthebitch.com, I'm sorry, Shedding the Bitch Facebook, our Facebook page. Because I think we tend to wake up in the morning, put our feet on the ground, run out into the world, and we never slow down enough to really consider what a smile, what a opening up the door might mean to somebody else. There was a woman this morning as I was walking into my office, she was bringing in all kinds of workshop type of materials on her dolly and the dolly couldn't get up the curb and the next thing you know everything was spilling all over the ground. And, you know, a number of people just stood around and watched and which, you know, shocked me to death. But I ran over, and the look on her face of relief that somebody was actually taking the time to, to help and to, you know, kind of get her, get her organized and moving along. And, and, you know, it's that kind of thing. We— it doesn't mean that you have to spend money, doesn't mean that you have to do anything grandiose, just the smallest, smallest of things. One of my favorite is You know, if you are in a line at a fast food restaurant, which, you know, I am not supposed to be, but sometimes I am. Or if you are going through a toll booth and you actually pay for the people behind you. And you drive away because it is not about, it is not about you being thanked or you being acknowledged in any way, shape, or form. I put out, I put a post out with an image on Facebook that said, you know, what is your definition of kindness? And I think kindness, you know, so I put my definition out there and it's a number of things for me. At the same time, I then wrapped it up by saying that it really comes down to also not needing to be thanked or acknowledged for it. It's simply to be kind because that's just the right thing to do, right? So, I'd love to know what your opinion is of that. Go out onto our Facebook page. You'll see a whole stream since, I think, pretty much Friday of where we talk about just— and I share images and quotes and comments where kindness is concerned. But what is this whole idea of how can kindness build your business? And I'll give you my viewpoints on it. So kindness, obviously, kindness can really cure anything and everything. It can create anything and everything. I shared, I told you before we went to break that I had a situation yesterday that kind of made me really appreciate kindness. And, you know, the kind of kindness that I really appreciated was the kindness to me. I've been pretty rough on myself over the last, I would say, 9 or 12 months. And I just needed, I just needed to kind of step back and say, okay, what do I need? You know, I love serving everybody else. I love taking care of everybody else, but what do I need? So anyway, long story, I was, I left the office. I spent a long day in the office, and I knew my, I knew Charlie was gonna need to get to the park, so I made sure I took care of him like I do. And then I was sitting there thinking to myself, you know, I really have been wanting to go to the gym and start getting back to the gym and start really taking care of myself. Because ladies, and I know there's men out there, We all need to understand one thing, and that is if we take care of ourselves first, it is not being selfish, it is not being greedy. It is if we take care of ourselves first, we can take care of everyone else that much better, that much richer. So, I, you know, I was at the dog park and I overspent my time because it was a gorgeous day and night here yesterday. And so I'm kind of driving home and I knew that it was 5:45 and my spin class that I've been trying to get to for months, and I'm serious, months, starts at 5:45. Now typically I would sit there and go, well, I'm too late and I can't do it. And the gym is literally 5 minutes away from my house. But I said to myself, you know what? I'm not, I'm not doing that. I need to be kind to myself. I need to put myself first. You know, my clients had my day, my team had my day, my peers had my day, my friends had my day, my dog had my day, and now I need to have my day. So I, but I had to actually talk to myself the whole way driving home to convince, to keep saying to myself, okay, you're gonna drop Charlie off, you're gonna get back in the car and you're gonna get down you know, not even a mile to the gym. And can you relate to that? I mean, I literally had to just sit there and go, okay, yes, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm gonna change shoes, you know, get sneakers on, grab a bottle of water, and I'm going. And I got there at 6 o'clock. Granted, I lost 15 minutes, but you know what, I had 30 minutes of a kick-ass, kick-ass spin class. And I felt fabulous afterwards. And more so, I felt fabulous because I was proud of myself that I was kind to myself. And later that night, I was able to then, you know, I actually went home and had some work I needed to finish up. I had some phone calls I wanted to make to some friends I've neglected. And I just felt great about it. So I think, you know, the way kindness can help us individually is in so many different ways. And I would love to hear your thoughts as to how, you know, you find ways to be kind to yourself. Now, how can kindness then be converted to be able to help your business? Maybe you have your own business or maybe you, you know, have your career within a corporate organization. And how can kindness help? Now, that sounds like a silly question, 'Cause you would think, well, we all say kindness is what it should be. We all should be kind. And yet, like we've been talking about, we tend to neglect it. Well, keep in mind the one thing— actually, it's three things, but the one thing your client, your boss, your peers, your team members, your friends, your family, your loved ones are wanting. From you, and that is that they like, trust, and know you. Now you might think, well, of course my family likes me, you know, of course they trust me, of course they know me, but I would actually have to say, really, do they? Are you being your complete you? Are you being totally transparent, totally real? Totally whole, are you being you? Because I know for me, for about 25 years, I was, I would say, 60/40. 60% of it was me and 40% of it was hidden behind a lot of bitches, a lot of junk, a lot of crap, a lot of just inner demons that were wreaking havoc on me. And one of the tools that I use that I learned through my shedding process was the idea, or not even the idea, but was the concept of kindness. Just even smiling at someone, which trust me when I say I walked around with a scowl for 25 years because I thought that gave me power to make you feel uncomfortable. But just simply smiling, just simply even your eyes light up, just simply opening in that door or paying for that, you know, fast food meal. It just starts shifting. And so when people, and especially in business, they say they want to like, know, and trust you, what they're saying is that they really do. They don't want 60% of you, 70% of you, 80% of you. Now maybe you reserve 5% for your family and friends, you don't want to bring everything into the workplace, but it has to be a great deal more than 67 or even 80%. And the people that are successful are those that their teams, their clients, their vendors, their, you know, bosses like, know, and trust who they truly are. Kindness is one way for you to open yourself up to learning or understanding who you are. Now that might kind of perplex or confuse people, but I know for some work that I've even been doing on myself in the past, like, month, 2 months, I'm doing— I'm trying to create a new program for you, and I always send myself and some other people through it before I roll it out, and I keep discovering things about myself that I didn't know yesterday. I keep discovering things about myself that surprise me, that pain me, that give me great clarity. And it's through constantly really considering how kindness allows me to let go of the cloaks, let go of the barriers, the walls, all the things that are keeping me from revealing who I truly am. So now, so I'm going about that in a roundabout way. So kindness, liking, knowing, and trusting, and being kind to the people in your world in all aspects of it, all of a sudden starts bringing back to you in kind that same type or even greater kindness. And so if you ever consider, you know, a tool or a strategy for improving your business, or maybe you just simply need to get unstuck, or maybe you're struggling with something, Or maybe you just simply want to go to the next level in your career or business. Just consider whether or not everything that you're doing, how you're doing it, and who it's serving is all in kind. And I can guarantee you, most likely, unless you're fully evolved and a very self-aware individual— and I rarely come across complete ones— we all can get better and more effective and more more genuine about our kindness. And what do I mean about genuine? Well, this was a huge lesson that I learned in regards to kindness is I kept feeling almost like a fraud when I would have someone say to me, If you, you know, serving others serves you. That's a biblical quote, you know, one of philosophy and theology and personal development and spirituality, but serving others serves you. I would listen to that and I would consider it to be extremely selfish. Well, if I, so if I serve others, I'll, you know, it'll serve me, so Okay, so the only reason why I'm going to help Deborah out is because I want her to do something for me, or I want the universe to do something for me. And I just found, for you, for— I'm telling you, for years, over this past 7 or 8 years of my shedding, I just always— I was having a really hard time with it, but yet I held on to it. And I, I would use it as an affirmation. I would use it as a reminder each and every day. And I, you know, you know, I journal So, I would write it out in my journal and I would just focus on it. And what I learned is what this whole topic of kindness is. And if we do not get Jill on the phone before we are done at the top of the hour, trust me when I say we will get her scheduled in, even if I have to do a special episode, which will air even at a kind of a special time. Because I really just love her take on this whole idea of kindness and how kindness can profit your business and your heart. I'll call it your heart, not just yourself. So I spent a lot of time with the idea of serving others serves you, and instead of making it feel like I have to serve someone, I converted it to kindness. I kind of said, okay, so if I'm kind to someone, most likely they're going to be kind to me back, and/or I'm going to find kindness and receive kindness somewhere else in the universe, in some other means, by somebody else, at some other time, but kindness will be returned to me. That made me feel a little less as if I was taking advantage of the world and even God, quite honestly, and I, you know, decided to really focus on kindness. And it kind of evolved and proved itself to be anything but selfish, anything but as a fraud, or as manipulating, or taking advantage of, because what I realized is, as opposed to the bitch that I used to be where, you know, the only reason why I was going to help you in any way, shape, or form was because I expected something in return. That would advance me, not necessarily you, me, and now I was really focused on being kind and serving others merely to be kind and serve others without ever expecting anything back. And when I took that element of never expecting anything in return, oh my gosh, it got to a point where I called 2013 my overwhelm year. Because, and this is now 3, 4 years into my shedding, and the world just started throwing so much kindness and so much love and so much admiration and so many gifts and so many opportunities to me. I just, I kind of retreated for a while because I was getting so overwhelmed with just how beautiful the world was showing up itself. Now, of course, we have our ups and downs.. And we will talk about that when I get back, but when we take a short break. But what I want you to be considering is even from our rich question that we asked at the top of the hour is what is that, you know, what is the one thing that you could do, you know, to just spread kindness in the world? And maybe it is to take care of yourself. And that is a wonderful thing. Or maybe it is that you're going to be conscious about when, you know, when you get up and put your feet on the ground, you're going to ensure that you're smiling and really appreciating the people and the places and the things that you're going about, you know, doing in life. And so, at the end of the day, you can actually look back and really recognize that you are putting kindness into the world, even in the smallest, lightest of ways, and then how the world and how the universe is returning it back to you. Maybe not at this very moment, or even at the end of the day, but, you know, the next day or the day after. So what is that one thing you could be doing and that you'll actually commit to in order to kind of profit? And I don't want to take Jill, because this is all Jill Lublin's, or that, that term, the profit of kindness, is all Jill's. But what can you be doing to make your life, make your career, make your business, make your relationship, make your finances profitable? So we're going to take a break and we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebits.com. .com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. To our conversation of kindness. Now I did just hear back from Jill's office and she'll sincerely apologize. She is actually sick in bed and I know if it were me from last week, if you remember last Tuesday, I had mentioned that I woke up Monday morning and it had nothing to do with the Super Bowl. I woke up Monday morning and I honestly could not get myself out of bed. I could not even get my head off the pillow. And I landed up staying in bed until Tuesday when I got on the radio with you because I absolutely love sharing this hour with you. But then I had mentioned that at 1:01, 1 o'clock, you know, I was right back into bed until Wednesday afternoon. So, if she is dealing with anything that I dealt with last week, then I will you know, send her good wishes and for all of us at Shuttin' the Bitch! community, and we'll get her rescheduled for another time. So we're talking kindness. We're going to kind of expand on, and I'll give you, I'm giving you my take on how kindness has affected me and how it can serve you as well. So before we went to break, I mentioned that we would then talk about the ups and downs. A lot of people, including me, I'll be honest with you, including me, we look at the idea that if we make changes, if we become a better person, if we shed all the bitches that are getting in our way, if we are kind and are serving others and are giving, that all of a sudden our problems will be solved. And that we, you know, then we get really mad and aggravated and start questioning higher beings, you know, whichever, whoever that might be for you, as to why things aren't changing for you and why things aren't getting better or why are you still in the same situation. So can any of you relate to that? Can any of you get— relate to getting frustrating— frustrated, starting to curse either people or things, maybe all of a sudden you're becoming a victim and blaming everything else around you other than maybe what you are or aren't doing, maybe you are kind of lashing out on a higher being, for me it's God, and questioning, you know, why, what lesson is he trying to teach me? If you said no, you are bullshit, that is just BS, sorry for the little slang there, because every one of us deal with it. Every one of us has those highs and lows, those ups and downs, those bitches and riches, those pains and those joys. And the whole lesson that I learned out of all my growth and all of my shifts and all of my shedding over the last 7 or 8 years is being kind, serving others, getting to a place of full, like, realness with yourself, self-awareness, transparency, honesty, authentic, authenticity, is not about the fact that all of a sudden your problems are going to be solved. What I've learned is it means that now you have tools and you have belief systems and you have strategies for shifting yourself out of those mindsets, out of those situations, out of those circumstances more effectively than you had before you really focused on what it takes for you to be your true, real, raw, authentic self. So let me break that down for you. So say you get up one morning and you put your feet on your, on the ground, and you are just feeling heavy. Mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally, in all aspects you're just feeling heavy. Does that mean that the rest of your day has to be heavy? Does that mean even 5 minutes from the time that you woke up and felt heavy, you have to be heavy?

No.

It all comes back to your mindset, and it's also why I tout strongly that the mindset is everything. Forget the skill set, that's passé, that's old news, that's antiquated, that's traditional. It is all about your mindset. Now I've shared in the past and I'll share again for those new listeners, 'cause we have a lot of you, that I have a practice, a daily practice in the morning before I get out of bed, before I put my feet on the ground. And that is I will wake up and typically I'll actually turn a meditation, audio on. And I have spoken to you a lot about, you know, I leverage the 21-day meditation experiences with Oprah and Deepak Chopra. She has, they have programs like every 3 months, 21 days, wonderful. So, what I will do is I will get up. If I, if I meditate, great. If I do not, I will lay there, go quiet, and really kind of assess every aspect of me. So I'll assess and I'll really listen to my body, listen to my heart, listen to my head, listen to my spirit. And if I am heavy, let's say, then I stay there until I'm able to shift my mindset, which is driving whether or not I am physically in pain, like I was this morning after that spin class last night. I, you know, I just simply get my head around the fact that, you know what, feeling pain is good. That means I worked hard. That means, you know, I am going to be getting fit and I have more energy and I am healthier, and that positive kind of shift causes my whole body to shift. Same with me spiritually, with me emotionally, with me mentally. If that takes 5 minutes, if it takes 20.— nowadays it does not take that long at all. I will just stay there until I am ready to go out in the world the way I want to. Now, are there days when I mentally choose to go out in the world heavy? Absolutely. I am human. Sometimes I just cannot shake it. But I also have learned very, very— not quickly, it was not quickly at all. But I had learned very hard that even if I'm like at noon or 3 o'clock in the afternoon or sitting at my— on my couch at 6 o'clock in the evening, I can still control what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, what I'm doing, how I'm behaving if I choose to. It's all a choice. So kindness, getting back to that, kindness is a choice. You can choose at any point, at any time, even today if you're listening to this program and you didn't come on with a really great attitude or really great mood or really great thought process going on, you can choose right now that, you know what, I'm even going to sit here and smile as I'm listening to Bernadette because then that smile is going to kind of feed within me and it's going to kind of cause— you can't smile and be miserable at the same time, not genuinely smile. You can't be miserable and genuinely smiling at the same time. So you could be choosing right now as you're listening to me in my deep husky voice that, you know, that you want to shift. It's all a choice. And kindness as a way of helping you to like, know, and trust who you are so other people do the same. And when once people start liking, knowing, and trusting you, for the kind person that you now are or continue to be, then that's how your business can actually profit and can actually benefit by the relationships that you have, by the connection you're making, by the engagement you're having, the collaboration you're, you're getting yourself involved in, just about in all areas of your business, or life. Does that make sense? All right. So, another thing when it comes to that I had to make a note of when it comes to kindness is the spread of kindness, the influence you could be having, the fact that you could all of a sudden become an influencer. And it might, you know, might not want to tag it that you are the kindness influencer, but that is what it would be. Modeling how you want the world to respond to you, modeling how you want others to respond to each other. Say you're a manager or you're a business owner and you lead your, your business and you have a team. I don't care if the team is face-to-face or it's virtual. I don't care if it's one or if it's 1,000 people. The way you choose to model kindness To model compassion, to model engagement, collaboration, inclusion, fairness, all will reflect and trickle down, and it's the one time that you trickle down from the top to the bottom is a good thing. You trickle down that example, you trickle down that modeling, and you trickle down that behavior and that mindset. And if there's, you know, one way or one strategy or tool you could use if you're in a difficult team or a difficult environment or you just have maybe a situation within your business, within your job, within your family, within your friends that isn't as kind as you'd like it to be, simply you modeling what kindness should be. You don't have to throw it in someone's face. You don't have to preach about it. You don't have to get up on a platform and, you know, dictate it. You just model it and all of a sudden you will find the other people around you and the other situations around you shift along with it. And again, it is one of those you are not expecting anything in return. But this is one of those things that you could be consciously saying, if I want something different, if I want the environment to be nicer, to be kinder, to be more compassionate, to be more engaging, to be more collaborative, then modeling it is your perfect answer to how to solve that. And then lastly, what I would want to say on the subject is we all— I mean, I love Ellen DeGeneres because if there's somebody, you know, at least as much as we can know outside her inner circle and inner house, As much as we know, she models it each and every day. And she asks each and every one of us to also model it, but also recognize that we have a role and a responsibility. That if we don't like our situation, if we don't like our community, if we don't like our political environment, if we don't like our social or business environment, then it is our role and our responsibility to do something different and to help influence a change, even if that is through the modeling of kindness. And maybe you are not accustomed and maybe you have not fully learned how to model that yourself. You just taking the little steps that we've talked about to be kind, compassionate, inclusive, engaging, fair, supportive, serving, then you know, you're slow, it may be slow, it may be fast, but you will learn how to make it a natural trait of who it is that you really are. Now going back to those ups and downs we talked about, But again, all of a sudden you could be feeling as if you're modeling all of that and yet you're still struggling, or maybe not yet, but maybe all of a sudden life throws something at you out of the blue. Everything's going great, you're like focused, you're energized, you're persistent, you're generating, you're creating, you're accelerating, and then, well, life has a way of working working things and testing us, don't it, doesn't it? Well, again, all I want you to keep in mind is you now have the tool, the technique, the strategy that you can use to shift. And that is to always remember what it feels like and what your experience is when you are putting out kindness. And when it comes back, how it makes you feel. And if you ever want to get out of a bad day, a bad week, a bad year, a bad circumstance, a bad life, then all you need to think about is how you could be modeling for yourself and for others kindness as a way of shifting you from bitch to rich. All right, well, I am— I hope you got a great deal out of the program today. We will get Jill Ludlin rescheduled so we can talk to her directly about The Profit of Kindness and her book and everything else that she, that she does in her wonderful world. But I also want you to stay tuned and join us for our guests coming up over the coming weeks. Again, we have Gila Kurtz. Now, this subject is just going to be dear to my heart. Fur-Covered Wisdom: A Dog Can Change the Way You See the World. And like I said, if you're a dog lover, if you're an animal lover, if you're a lover, you get what that might mean. And therefore, come and hear Gila's take on how fur-covered wisdom can change the way you see the world. And then the following week, Sarah Elleston will talk with us on her take on the lessons that you can learn from a difficult person on how to deal with us or a difficult person. Now I'm proud to say that I'm a reformed difficult person. At the same time, I'm very much looking forward to hearing Sarah's take on what she has learned and what she's experienced and what she now coaches and trains and speaks on to other people. And then of course, we're, gosh, we're done February. And we'll be going into March 7th is our Ask Bernadette, so make sure you're getting your career, business, and life questions sent into us. They might be stories, they might be challenges you're having, or it might be a small question that you have that we can answer for you, not only on Facebook or Twitter, but right here on Shedding the Bitch Radio. So for everybody from our Shedding the Bitch community, from Deborah, from Jill, and I'm gonna do a shout out to hope that she feels better. I want to wish all of you a beautiful, beautiful, loving, loving, rich, rich, rich Valentine, as well as a week. And I'll look forward to talking with you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time on Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everybody. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.