How to Create a Winning Team with Sonya Shelton

Do you understand what it takes to create a winning dream team? Your dream team? Do you understand the challenges your people are facing and dealing with each and every day to realize their true potential and perform at their best? Our guest, Sonia Shelton of Executive Leadership Consulting, will dive deep in helping you understand the real reasons your employees are burned out, the importance of you as a leader discovering your why, and lastly, how purpose can change the game for you, your employees, and your customers. You will walk away with the 3 keys to creating a winning dream team, career, and life. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Follow Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this! Welcome, Sonia. How are you?

I'm doing great. I'm so happy to be with you today.

I am so excited, and I was commenting to you before about the fact that I love the flowers behind you, the sweater you're wearing, and it's a great compliment to me, so it cheers me up right away for sure.

We're feeling the summer mood today.

We are feeling the mood, that is for sure. So before we get into all the business stuff, share with our listeners and our viewers kind of who is Sonya outside of the workplace.

I believe success happens when we are able to make an impact together. Right. So I'm real all about partnership and how do we make an impact and how that's really my why and why I do what I do. In everything that I do. So whether that's at the workplace, whether that's with friends, I'm always looking for ways that I can contribute and how I can help and bringing better ways of doing things.

No, absolutely. And why be here? Like, why wake up in the morning if you're not going to make an impact? Right?

Right.

I mean, it's just kind of silly. And yet so many— do you find that so many kind of get out of bed, put their feet on the ground, run out the door, and they know where they're going, but they're not quite sure why they're going there.

Yes, absolutely. And I also see, especially with women, the feeling like they can't make an impact. Right. They're trapped. They don't have a choice, especially in the corporate environment. This is how things are. And I can't really make an impact because they won't let me. And a lot of the conversations that I have with leaders is to show up as a leader where you are, right? Even if you're not the CEO of the company, how can you make an impact from where you are? And how can you bring things up and really reorient your position from sort of being at the effect to being at cause, right? To where can you make an impact even if it's small?

Right, right. And regardless of the position that you're in.

Yeah, absolutely.

And regardless if you're an individual contributor or on a team or leading a team.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

So what do you think is the biggest struggle? What do you think is the biggest challenge that they're having to where they're not stepping out and pursuing those things and really wanting to make an impact? It's easy to blame corporate.

Right.

So, but what is the real reason you're finding in who they are that's causing them to have this struggle?

I think it's a recognition of what their superpower is, right? And really standing in their confidence of that. This is what I bring to the table, and this is how I know I can make an impact. And having that confidence in that. If you don't have that clarity about who you are and what you really bring, then it's harder to make that impact.

Right.

So it is really that self-awareness and confidence about what it is that those gifts are that you bring to the table and stand in that. Right. And people will love it. Right. Because I'm sure it's something that they need. They're just not aware that you can bring it.

Right. And do you find that regardless of the level of the hierarchy or the rung on the ladder, that women and even men, kind of not all, but a good majority of them deal with this issue even though they continue to climb, climb, climb, climb?

Yes, absolutely. Right. So there's, like you were saying, I think especially in corporate, there's always an outside factor, right? So there's even at the CEO level, it's the shareholders, it's the board. I can't because they won't let me. Right. And at every level all the way down from there.

Right.

It's sort of this attitude of sort of being trapped in that status quo and thinking that you don't have a choice or this is how it's always been, therefore I can't actually challenge it or try to be innovative. I don't know. I find that that's not always true. Right. And sometimes that's— you might get a no the first time, but if you make a really strong business case, you're going to get the yes eventually. Right. And in my career in corporate, that was my mantra. Right. Which is no means not right now. Right. So I would look for more opportunities. Like, if they said no, then I didn't. I didn't provide a good enough business case. So I need to be looking for how can I, how can I sell this better and really show them that impact that we can make and really take that upon myself as a leader to bring something to the table from that place of empowerment and understanding what I can really bring.

OK, so can I break that down for a second just so I can process it in my head? Sure. So that starts with asking. Right. That starts with them having the courage to ask. I also heard a business case. So it's crafting a business case and then it's adjusting it if they don't get, get, you know, if they get a no and it's not right now, well, maybe there's a chance that they didn't position their business case strong, well enough or strong enough to get that. Next step.

Yeah, absolutely right. So, so, and, you know, business case might sound like an academic phrase. And, and so what I mean by that is, um, what are— what is the impact to the company, right? So if you see something could be different or something that you could do differently or something that you can bring that's not being accepted, what is that impact to the company? What's the value that it brings? And then recognizing, looking, when you're thinking about that, what are the risks? Why might they say no? And thinking about that ahead of time so that you can answer those objections upfront. And then if they do say no, those were risks that you didn't think about, and that's okay, right? It's, it's not taking that personally and saying, oh, I messed up. It's like, okay, those are things I didn't consider. Um, how could I think about this and look for another opportunity? It doesn't mean like coming right back. But looking for another opportunity where this issue is coming up again, or this opportunity is coming up again, and I can reframe it in a different way to say, okay, how about we try— what if we try this? And, um, I don't know about you, but I see a lot of cycles in the corporate environment where they're, you know, if you're in a company long enough, you see the same conversation happening again, right? So it's trust that, right? Like, there's— the cycle is going to come back, and I'll, I'll wait for that cycle, and when it comes, I'm going to bring it up again. And now I know the risks I need to address, right?

That's awesome, because yes, change is always happening, and most likely what you wanted a year ago that you got a no to will come around eventually. How does this, how does this affect the leader when they are trying to create a winning team? What does that mean to them as far as being successful or not?

Yeah, I think again, it's coming from a point of view of really looking at what your team offers. If wherever you are in the company, if you're a leader, there is some purpose behind what you do. Does your team understand that purpose? Right. And so Do you understand that purpose? Do you understand the why behind what you're doing, that value that you deliver, how you deliver that, and what others can expect from you? That's kind of the components that we call purpose— your why, your how, and your what, right? So if you can't answer that question for yourself about your team, then your team definitely can't answer it. But it's really forming that into This is our purpose in this company, or this is our purpose as a company. And then how do we take that purpose and weave it through everything we do? So looking at from the purpose, OK, this is our purpose, then what's our vision? And where do we want to take this purpose? And what are our goals to achieve that vision? We call that the plan, right? And then do we have the right processes that empowering people to question the processes based on the purpose and the plan to say, maybe we don't need to do this anymore. Or we did this because Maria liked it this way 5 years ago and she doesn't even work for the company anymore. Right?

Right.

But to be able to give permission to question that. Right. And then from there, looking at positions. Right. So who do you hire? How do you decide how you're going to promote? How are you organized? And is that in alignment with your purpose as a team? And then ultimately, the last is passion, which is looking at, you know, is your team understand the value that each person contributes to that purpose? And do they have passion for their individual contribution, as well as are they passionate about the purpose of the organization? So, so we call those the 5 Ps and our model of Red Thread leadership, which is, you know, the Red Thread is Connecting that purpose through everything that you do. And we came up with that because we saw, particularly in the past 4 or 5 years, a shift in both consumers and customers want— making buying choices based on purpose. And then talent also deciding where they work based on purpose. Right? So am I, am I in alignment with who you are and where you're going as a company? I'm more likely to buy from you, or, and I'm more likely to want to work for you, for you, right? So, so there is competitive advantage for a company to focus on purpose.

Okay, I have a number of questions. Okay, so first off, uh, because I, I just love this, but For everyone listening or watching, could you again repeat the 5 Ps for them? Sure.

So it starts with purpose and then your plan and then your processes and then your positions and then passion.

Okay. And position being— say again.

Positions being how you're organized, right? So your organization design, who you hire, who you're looking for, who you need on the team, as well as how you decide who you're going to promote. It's like the organizational structure.

Right now, do you come up against— you're in a room with maybe a team of a boss and subordinates, or even like a leadership team, and you start talking to them about purpose or their why. And do they just look at you and go, well, Sonia, we're here to, you know, deliver X in revenue or X in number of, you know, products out the door or, you know, profitability? That, that, that's the level of which they respond. And if so, how do you dig deep to get to what you mean that you're looking for as far as purpose and why? And what is that?

Yeah, I think I don't see that as much anymore. I think I used to see it, but I think a lot of leaders are starting to see that people are looking for purpose. And like I said, it's not just in— it's not just a nice to have, right? So if you're, if you're a company competing with another company and your purpose is your differentiator, about people will pay more money. For your product or service if they believe in your purpose, right? Because there's something about— they want to be part of that. They want to contribute to that. And so, and I think we've seen a lot of companies be successful with leading with that, even if it's, you know, I think sometimes leaders misunderstand that it means, oh, it's about sustainability or something that we're doing for the world. No, no, it's, it's why you do what you do, right? So, so what's really behind why you're doing what you're doing? Because Every company, every organization, even every department in a company has something that they're delivering that is of value to other people. And it's really just about communicating that value in a really simple structure of why we do what we do, how we do it, and what others can expect.

See, that's it. You hit it. I'm so glad you got there because I'm sitting here thinking to myself, well, that whole purpose is more at the CEO, senior leadership team, what we're going to put out in the marketplace for our customers to hear. But the lower you go down in the organization, I thought, was really where the struggle would come in. And yet I love what you just said, is if we can just understand that even our part that we play, there's value and purpose and a why in there.

Yeah, absolutely.

So how do you— what is your actual process at Executive Leadership Consulting to help them work through that, through the purpose?

Yeah. So we start with why, and we use this tool called the Y.OS, and we work in multiple dimensions. So starting with the individual, What is your personal why? What is your personal how? What is your personal what as a leader? And then how do we bring that to life through what you're doing in your organization? And then we look at the team and say, OK, so now for the team individually, what's their why? What's their how? What's their what? We call that the team why. And then we start to connect that and say, OK, so if we, if we understand each individual person on the team and what they bring to the table, We know where I might have shortcomings, and it's your superpower. So I know I can come to you for that, right? And then we use that to say, OK, if this is each individual person's why connection, then how do we create a team version about who we are as a team and how we deliver whatever we're delivering, whether that's a product, a service, could be a function like, you know, HR or finance, right? So So what is it that other people in the organization can expect from us or our customers can expect from us if it's a whole company? And then we say, okay, how do we craft that into our personal purpose? And then how do we communicate that? Right. And then looking from there, then we start looking, okay, so then what do we want to do with it? Where do we take this to our plan?

Right. And do you find that the lack of that? Because that all, you know, shouts out to me clarity, you know, direction. So do you find that the lack of that is what is causing a lot of the stress and burnout for employees, or is there other factors at play as well?

Yes, I would say purpose is a big, a big one, right? I think that people understanding why they do what they do and their connected to that. You know, when we're going through a stressful event, say we're getting married or we're moving, there's a lot of stress in both of those events, right? But we're excited about it. There's a purpose behind it. So we will break through all the obstacles, we will deal with all of it because we can see what's on the other side of it and we're excited about what's on the other side of it. And that's what purpose can do is that it can really help you break through those obstacles because you know why you're doing what you're doing. And all those obstacles that come at you are worth it because you know where you're going. But you're absolutely right. I think from there, then it's about what is that clarity, right? So is everybody clear about the purpose? Do they understand it? Do they understand the vision and the plan and where we're going? And that really clear direction. And I think the third component that we haven't talked about is focus, right? So especially I've just seen an increase in the past, probably 10 years of a lot of distraction, a lot of we have to be like them. And so we're going to, we're going to walk away from our strategic plan and chase this bright, shiny object that everyone else is doing, right? Instead of saying, this is our purpose, we're clear about where, what we want to do and where we want to go. And then ultimately we're just focusing on those things. Right. And I think a lot of the burnout is happening because there is a lack of clarity and focus, right? So that, that, that people are feeling very reactive because we're in a time of tremendous change. We're in a time of incredible uncertainty, right, about what the future is going to be. I'm talking to organizations where they're kind of joking about a 3-year or 5-year strategic plan because we have no idea what the world's going to look like in 3 years. No idea. Right. And so, and they kind of go, what's the point of making a plan?

Right.

So, so there is this uncertainty that, that is causing leaders to be reactive. And then I think there's also an opportunity to recognize that the speed of change is causing us not to stop and celebrate, right? And because we're moving so fast and we're doing so much and things are changing and we're shifting, that even to stop and celebrate those small wins has kind of gone away, right? So we— so people feel like they're on this treadmill just running and running and running. They don't know where they're going. They're just running really fast and they don't see they're making any progress, right? So So if you think about it, if I don't know where I'm going and I don't think I'm going to make any progress, that's going to cause burnout. So it's really being intentional about being clear about the purpose and the plan and then also celebrating along the way, even if it's small wins, to say we are making progress, we are moving forward, things are changing, and sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but being really intentional about celebrating those wins.

Yeah, I remember even You know, I've been out of corporate now for 14 years and, you know, we would close a big deal or finish a huge project. And, you know, the second we kind of closed it out, it was, what are you going to do for me today?

Right.

And it was just like, oh my God, can I have 5 minutes to have a beer? You know?

Exactly. Yeah. Now it doesn't have to be a huge party. It's just taking a moment to acknowledge and maybe having a happy hour or something, bringing in lunch or something just to acknowledge that we are making progress and we're having those moments.

And what have you found? That's a great talking point as well around acknowledgment, recognition, because what do you find out there when it comes to not only the burnout, but even people needing to feel appreciated, needing to feel seen and recognized for the work that they're doing. So what kind of changes in this fast-paced world that we're living in, what kind of changes or what are you seeing when it comes to being able to ensure that our people are appreciated and recognized?

Yeah, I think it does come down to being intentional. Right. And I see, I think we've seen in the media in the past few months, a lot of executives recording town halls and things like that where they're frustrated and they're kind of almost blaming employees for not performing. Right. And it's a little baffling to me, but, but it is stepping into that leadership and taking accountability for recognizing what they're doing well in addition to where the gaps are. And we have a meeting template where we share with our clients on how they can do a team meeting and how they can do a one-on-one meeting. And the very, very first thing on that agenda is what have we accomplished and what do we want to celebrate? And it starts that meeting out on a high note. Where people are coming, oh yeah, thank you. You are making progress. We are getting things done. Now let's talk about what the issues are and the things that we need to do to move forward. But starting the meeting, it takes 5 minutes, right? Starting the meeting with that can really change the tone of how people are feeling and also how they'll solve problems because we're coming from that positive mindset of we are accomplishing things. It sort of stimulates that creative brain to say, oh yeah, we can tackle these issues too.

Yeah, absolutely. Because I'm hearing a lot that people just even want to be thanked, like, good job, attaboy. And if we as leaders can recognize, yes, that's intentions required, focus, is required. But at the same time, it takes such little energy, let alone, you know, time. But it does take an effort to want to do it. Do you find that, that the people, the leaders, there might be some that don't, you know, just don't feel it's valuable?

Yeah. And I think, I think also I see particularly in corporate environments, they don't get it themselves, so they don't pass it on.

Right.

So, so it has to start— change has to start somewhere. Right. So you can at least start with your team and acknowledging them, even if you don't feel it yourself. And, and, you know, and I think we can get stuck in this. Well, if I don't get it, I'm not going to give it. But as a leader, you really can take— and it comes back to this choice, right? You really can. Take a different approach for your team and how you show up as a leader.

That's exactly what I picked out is, oh, I'm so glad you did that because that sends us back to where we started, is individuals/leaders, which I want to talk about your book. It's fabulous. Really need to have the confidence and the courage to not blame. Well, this is how it's always been done. I don't get the recognition, so I don't pass it on and to decide for themselves. Going back to your purpose, going back to your why that you discussed around regardless of what everybody else is doing, this is what I stand for and therefore this is what I want for my team. Is that kind of how you position change even at a departmental level to leaders?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I— and it's something that I discovered for myself being in a company. I, so I used, I used to be an executive at Disney, and I worked there at a time when we had the best of the best of cultures and the worst of the worst of cultures going. We went through a shareholder revolt, and I kind of saw for myself, I can, I can pass down what's happening to me, or I can fall into this toxic environment and continue to perpetuate it. Or I can actually create a different environment in my team. And we can do things differently despite what's happening around us and really make this a great place to work just for ourselves. And I did it right. And, and so I can see, you know, I completely get when you're, you're in a big company or you feel like you don't have power because it's so big. And how do you change that? But you can change your space, you can change your team and what it's like to work on your team.

Do you find that it's just a cop-out that some so-so managers, not leaders necessarily, kind of use? They blame the system, they blame the structure because they don't want to step out. Do you find that?

Yeah, absolutely. It's a path of least resistance, right? Right. I'll just, you know, this is how things work around here, so I'm just going to be how everybody else is.

Right, right. You're a little bit nicer and more polished than I am because I'm just basically like, you're lazy, lazy. If you don't put your people first, who do you think is doing your job for you and delivering for you?

Right. Anyway.

All right. So I do want to make sure and let me know if you addressed it and I didn't make note of it. But you talk about the 3 keys to creating a winning team. So did we make— did we cover all that? I have the 5 Ps, right? You get the 3 keys down. Is it purpose, why, and focus?

It's purpose, clarity, and focus.

Ah, okay.

So really getting clear about your purpose and then being clear about your direction, where you're going, um, in that plan, and then focusing on that plan and, and not letting things distract you and really helping Helping people understand on your team what are our priorities. Those might change on a daily or weekly basis. I find that they do in organizations today. So it's really saying, here's what we're focused on, what's most important right now. Things changed. OK, these are now the priorities, right? And really helping them stay clear about where they need to focus.

Right. Gosh, I love this. I can talk to you all day.

Yes.

I definitely want to talk to you about your book. Your book is You're an Executive, But Are You a Leader? Love that. So tell us about it. Give us some talking points from it. And then I'm just going to send everybody to both executiveleader.com where they can buy it. And is it on Amazon as well? It is.

Absolutely.

Okay. Only because we weren't planning to talk about it, but I want to talk about it. So tell us about it.

Yeah, so it came out of my experience, like I was saying, in seeing not just for myself, but the leaders around me when I worked at Disney. And I had a lot of— I developed a lot of empathy for leaders. But I also saw a lot of people leaning on their title, right? So because I'm an executive, therefore you must do what I say. And I don't have to tell you why. And I don't— right? And it creates this environment of compliance versus passion, right? So when you're coming from a place of leadership, people are following you. They want to follow you, right? And you're a leader. It doesn't matter where you are in the organization. If people are following you, you're a leader., right? So even if you don't have that executive title, you can be a leader when people follow you, right? And so it really is, you know, coming from a place of not leaning on your title and what is true leadership. And starting with the way that I organized the book was completely around myself as an executive and understanding. It's, you know, 50 chapters. One page is the tip. One page is a case study of how you apply it, and one page is the coaching questions I would ask you. Right. And so it's really something that people use almost like it's a book, but it's almost like a workbook where they can dive into whatever issue they're having. But everything is around shifting from that directive style of coming from your title to really that passion style and engaging and empowering people to step forward. As a leader.

Nice. I absolutely love it. I absolutely love it. So everybody go to executiveleader.com to get the book or to Amazon. And again, it's You're an Executive, But Are You a Leader? And then lastly, at redthreadleadership.com, you have a masterclass all around creating a winning team. So please share.

Yes, absolutely. So yes, everything that I talked about, about the 5 Ps, and those, the 3 keys, right? The purpose, the clarity, and the focus. It's, I go through every single one in more detail. I talk about how companies, other companies have applied it, however, how they have been successful in implementing that P, and then what you can do in your company to be able to implement it. So it's short, it's 30 minutes, but it goes through all the 5 Ps in detail.

So that you can start to implement it in your team and share it with your team so they can all work together in implementing it, I would think.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Love it. Love it. Love it. Thank you so much, Sonia. This has been a fabulous conversation. I so appreciate you being here.

Thank you. I really enjoyed it too.

Do you have any— what's one big tip that you would leave everybody with on their way out?

Yeah, I think I would just say look for those opportunities to reduce burnout, right? For yourself as a leader, for your team, you know, that purpose, clarity, and focus. Where can you really help them so that they can see where they're going? And, and it's a process, right? It's not a one-time event. And continuing to look at it on a daily, weekly basis so that they are really clear because it hurts my heart that there's such an increase in burnout and stress in people which impacts their family life and their health. And it's not necessary, right? I think that we can get rid of it and it starts with you as a leader.

Boom. Drop the mic. That was awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. And thank you so much for being part of Shedding the Corporate Bitch community. Wow, what a powerful conversation with Sonya Shelton of Executive Leadership Consulting. I took away a whole bunch of notes, and I'd love to know, um, in the comments section on LinkedIn, uh, what you walked away with. But, uh, let me give you a download of my takeaways. She talked about the 3 keys of creating a winning team, creating a winning dream team. And that being your purpose or— and why— clarity and focus. And she drilled into each one of those as also critical tools for ensuring that your team and yourself kind of prevent getting burned out. And if they already are there, what you could be doing in order to ensure that you can minimize that and eradicate it because you have, which is what she talked about as well. I loved it. You have a choice. If you don't like the way things are going, if you don't want to be in the chaos and the drama of the constant change and the speed of which your organization, let alone the society, is moving, then you have an opportunity in your own team to influence change. And so don't wait until the corporate organization entity makes changes or your boss makes changes. If you feel that changes have to be made and you have a better way, a different way, a newer way of doing it, then go for it because your team is desperate to get over their burnout, is desperate to understand the purpose and the, the why and the mission and the vision that you have for your own team, let alone that of the companies that is getting passed down to you and them. She also talked about the 5 Ps, and I love this. A red thread runs through all of these 5 Ps that again will get you and your team moving in a direction where everyone's contributing, everyone's value is being recognized, everyone feels that they do have a purpose, they understand the why, and therefore your employee productivity, your employee engagement, your employee satisfaction all go up. Let alone when you have such clarity for yourself, for your team and the company, finding people and retaining people becomes that much easier and that much more prosperous for everyone. So the 5 Ps: purpose, plan, processes, position, and passion. So listen to the full interview, go back if you have to, share it with your team if you want to really drill into each one of those 5 Ps that Sonia talked about. Let me see. And then lastly, I really want to go back to what she started and ended the conversation with, and that is this choice that you have. But she recognizes that many of you, many leaders are already kind of stressed out themselves, burned out, feeling, feeling not so sure of themselves, questioning whether or not they're capable of influencing change and therefore She really stresses to do a lot of self-work, build your confidence in yourself, and then go and act. Small steps lead to big results. Go and act and ask for what it is you wanna see changed. Start implementing it on your own. And she made a comment about the fact that change is cyclical, and therefore, even when you get a no to something you want to have happen, It doesn't mean that it's no, it just means this isn't the right time. And if any of us who have been in corporate for any amount of time know, it will come back around. And therefore you may recognize that you just have to reevaluate that business case you put forward and maybe adjust it, but ask again because the timing could be just perfect. We did get a, a little bit of a conversation in around her book, You're an Executive, But Are You a Leader? So definitely be sure to check that out. And if you are struggling with yourself, with your team, to really have a roadmap for what you need to be doing and could be doing in order to be a powerhouse leader, then also reach out to me, book a call, go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall, and let's talk about it. All right. I am so thrilled you were here with us this week, and I'll look forward to having you with us next week. Take care, everybody.

Bye.