How to Live Slowly with Stephanie O’Dea

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day everyone, how are you? And welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio. I am so excited that you are here. We have a great great conversation today. And right now I just want you to all kind of take a deep breath and just consider getting into a mode of slow motion, because we're going to be talking about how to live slowly with our guest Stephanie O'Dea. But before I bring her into the show, just a couple of, uh, quick announcements. I so want to thank all of our new viewers and listeners who have found our show on any one of the streaming services as well as on our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel. Thank you so much for, uh, your ratings, your feedback, your likes, your subscribes, uh, your input to great guests and great show topics. Uh, we can't do it without you, and we love the fact that you have found us. And, uh, I hope that you will continue, and I look forward to you continue to enjoy— to join us each and every Tuesday at noon Eastern time for various topics, various experts, and various great conversations about key things that women all around the world are dealing with each and every day in their work and life. So thank you, thank you, thank you to our new listeners. But I can't go without thanking our current viewers and listeners because obviously it's your shares and likes and tweets and subscriptions and ratings that are helping us to kind of get elevated in searches for those new listeners and viewers that have been finding us. So thank you, thank you so much for your loyalty and all your feedback. And please continue to email media relations at bullifiermedia.com and give us your feedback. Give us your ideas for topics. Give us your recommendations for great guests. This show is for you. It's, it's for, for women who are just— whatever you're dealing with in your business and life, we bring it to you each and every week. Thank you so much for your followship. And then of course, I need to thank North Georgia Tax Solutions, who is sponsoring this episode. And of course, Debbie Snelling and her team at North Georgia Tax Solutions actually services small to corporate size clients all around the country. And so not just Georgia. So if you have any full service financial needs or tax services needs, then please be sure to reach out to her and her team at ngtaxsolutions.com and tell her I said hi. After all, it is that time of year, at least here in the States. It is that time of year. So if you need some tax services needs, reach out to Debbie and her team. All right, so we are talking about how to live slowly. And I just— the minute I came across this subject and this guest, I just— I did, I took a deep breath and just went, ah, because I don't know about you, but I'm tired of the hustle culture of always having to do more, be more, achieve more. And what if you could just get the life of your dreams, tranquil, slow, chilled out, and fulfilled in a different way? So our New York Times bestselling author Stephanie O'Day has written 10 books and is here to share that you can truly, you can truly have it all without killing yourself to make it happen. So what I want you to be listening for, and I know Stephanie will want you to as well, is that the best thing you could do peace of mind, and I love this, is to use your Crock-Pot. That's right, use your Crock-Pot. At the same time, you've got to pay yourself first. And this isn't investing advice. You have to pay yourself first. And simple organization acronyms to keep a clutter-free home, which in turn helps to provide a simple tranquility to your day-to-day life. So as I bring Stephanie in, let me formally introduce this maverick, as I like to call our guests within the Shedding the Bitch community. Um, in 2008, Stephanie O'Day made a New Year's resolution to use her Crock-Pot slow cooker every day for a year and write about it online. This simple idea led to multiple television appearances, 10 books, and a life she loves where she can now work from home in her fuzzy slippers helping moms from all over the world. Today she is a New York Times bestselling author and slow living expert. How are you? You can turn your camera on. How are you, Stephanie?

Good morning, Bernadette. Thank you for that introduction.

Oh, you are so welcome. I've been so looking forward to this conversation because like I said, I did, I took a deep breath when I, when I saw your name and your and your area of expertise come across, and it's just very intriguing, uh, because crockpots— yeah, I'm well aware of it. At the same time, the impact that they can have on your life, not so much. Uh, so first off, you do mention that you just all of a sudden made this commitment in 2018, I believe it was, or 2000—

no, 2008. Yeah, I had, I had little baby children in the house, and, um, I actually did it on a whim as an idea to try and create income from home in a legitimate way. I had a baby at the time and she was coming to work with me. I was teaching preschool and she kept getting sick and we didn't know what it was. So I thought it was daycare germs. So I quit on the spot.

Oh wow.

But we live in the San Francisco area and my husband's like, yeah, no, that doesn't work. You have to actually make money. You have to have an income. So, um, I was trying to see if I could legitimately work from home, and blogging was kind of a newer thing. And I liked the idea of a New Year's resolution because there was an end date to it. And, um, and I liked the idea of a recipe site because, um, it's giving Google what people are searching for. And so it had really good search engine optimization. And so after, um, I think it was a Christmas party for my husband's work, I had a little bit too much wine and I'm like, I, I will do a recipe site, but I don't know how to cook. I just need, I just know how to use my Crock-Pot. So that's how it came to be. And then we actually learned that my daughter had celiac disease, which is a gluten intolerance. And so all of the recipes happen to be gluten-free. She's perfectly fine now. She's 16. Um, okay. But, um, gluten intolerance, now everybody knows somebody who has it, but back then it wasn't as prevalent as it was. So that website, A Year of Slow Cooking, ended up being, um, a very easy way for people to learn how to cook when they were first diagnosed with celiac or gluten intolerance. Because the best thing about a Crock-Pot is you dump it all in, you push a button, and you walk away.. Right. And so that is what I really liked about it.

That is awesome. Well, first off, I have to absolutely applaud you because being a goal achievement Coach, which is a primary focus of mine, the fact that you actually like succeeded in keeping your resolution for not only like the first, you know, 18 days, which is when most people drop off.

OK.

But the entire year, that is absolutely awesome.

Well, thank you. I will take all the gold stars, Bernadette.

Ah, well, and at the same time, you know, not only did you, um, get very resourceful in solving your problem, because that's what business is, right? There's a problem in business and you have to solve it. And you had a problem in your life, of which then you found a business to wrap around that, which is absolutely fantastic. So what were the biggest— before we get into some of the other topics regarding Crock-Pots and cooking, but what were, to help other people who do kind of give up on their goals really quickly.

Well, it's really interesting because we're recording this on Fat Tuesday. And so we're going into another sort of period of growth and development where people are giving up things for Lent. And it's fascinating to me how many people declare they're going to give something up or this or the other. And then, um, if you really want to get metaphysical about it, if when they fail, they're not only just failing themselves, they're, they're failing God. So I mean, it's fascinating to me. And I apologize for my voice, um, we're, we're in the middle of way too many seasonal allergies, and so I apologize that my voice is like this.

Hey, I have a deep husky voice, so trust me, raspy voices are just fine for me. Well, and you're absolutely right in regards to that, because to be honest with you, I, I had a posting this morning because I had made a commitment for the month of February to go live every day. Okay, I even spoke about it, like, don't break your commitments, you're breaking them to yourself, let alone to God. And yet I found myself this morning having to kind of like, you know, kind of own up, full disclosure, you know, that I fell short on that with no excuse, no excuse. And, you know, I need to get back on it because yes, you're right, especially with Lent, you're right. But every day, and thank you for reminding me, it's Fat Tuesday. I didn't I didn't even realize that, although I'm on this other thing, this other, you know, resolution for the month of February, and that one's going strong. But anyway, back to you. So what did you do to kind of stay focused? And now, and when you say 365, because your book is 365 Slow Cooker Suppers. So how did you kind of stay focused and ensure that you were gonna, you know, be able to do this each and every day, especially if you have children? And a husband and, you know, other things going on in your life?

Um, I'm Scottish, so, um, like sheer, sheer determination. I'm Irish. Um, I, I don't know why exactly, um, except for I just, I really felt the need at the time to prove it to myself and to prove it to my husband that I could make something out of nothing. So that very first website, I didn't even pay the $10 to register the domain name. The original URL was crockpot365.blogspot.com because I truly wanted no money down. And so, and so it wasn't until actually, I think the second cookbook came out that I finally bought ayearofslowcooking.com and, and transferred the recipes over. I, I was young and, and we truly didn't have any money and I had quit my job and we were living, we still live in a very, very expensive area. Yeah. And yeah, it wasn't, as if I had play money to invest in a business to see if it worked. I needed to create it from nothing. So I spent a lot of time goofing around on the internet. Everything I did in the beginning was self-taught and self-learned. I said I'm Scottish, and that is true, but I'm also very stubborn and frugal. So, um, so now there's a whole bunch of online courses and resources that you can learn from, but I, um, did an awful lot of trial and error. And, um, uh, and I had a basic understanding of the internet and how it worked and search engine optimization. And so, for instance, I decided to use the word crockpot, um, and I spelled it without a hyphen because the actual trademarked Crock-Pot had a hyphen. But whenever I searched for chicken Crock-Pot recipes or something like that, I never bothered to put in the hyphen. So just the fact that I wrote my recipes that way, the way a normal human would, really helped with the search engine optimization.

And within—

it didn't take long. Within maybe 3 to 4 weeks, I was regularly getting 1,000 people to the site a day. Wow. And so that just sort of helped. It also helped that it was 2008, so there weren't very many recipe sites on the internet. It would be difficult now.

And you clarified that. Yes. Because I see all these entrepreneurs going that are listening and they're racing to figure out the next big idea they can start doing and they'd be sadly disappointed with—

Yeah. So actually it's interesting. So I, I came up with making yogurt in the crock pot, using your rice cooker as a crock pot, and now people have taken my idea and, and have— they've actually done it better because I don't care about food photography. It's not my thing. It's not my passion. And I've been advised many times that the site could be much better if I optimized for this or that, or was into Instagram, but I'm just not. It's not who I am. And And that, I think, is why I resonate with you so much, is I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and I want to get paid for it.

Well, and you know, and you have so many gems. I don't even know that you realize this. And, um, I'm known for like, you know, picking out words that people use. For instance, the fact that you said, oh, I don't even know why I was so committed for that 365 days, you know. Well, you knew why, because you wanted to prove something to your husband and to yourself. At the same time, I heard earlier— don't correct me if I'm wrong— that it was also helping figure out what you could do for your daughter in regards to, you know, having recipes and, and meals not only for her but for other people. I mean, so you're— and, you know, people have to get grounded in their why because that is what gets them to stick to it.

I absolutely have a, um, kind of a servant's heart. I— when, when people email me or I get on the phone with somebody and I'm helping them, it, um, it sounds silly because I want to use the word it gets me high, but it sort of does. Like, I— it gets me buzzing in a way where I'm so happy and thankful that somehow, um, by doing something what seems obvious to me, just obvious, is actually of help to somebody else. Right.

No, that's fabulous. I'm taking notes. If anybody's wondering why I'm looking down. No, I think that's absolutely fabulous because I mean, that's what we're looking for from people who are, you know, out there and providing, you know, great content. I mean, we want them to be doing it because it's coming from their heart, not coming from their hopeful wallet, you know?

Right.

So no, that's— and I'm sure everything that you do, it kind of oozes that, which is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Um, that's fabulous. So any— and again, before we get into the meat of what, uh, we plan to talk about, um, were there any big lessons about yourself, or were there any big gotchas that you learned in that journey of that year? Um, let alone the fact that you went on to— it created 10 books for you and obviously a great life for you. So, but were there any lessons that you learned about yourself throughout this process?

There's a famous quote and it's, "Never underestimate the man," and you can change it to woman, "who refuses to, like refuses to listen to wisdom," or something like that. So I broke a lot of like the internet etiquette rules and things like that in the beginning. I had no idea what was quote unquote allowed and not allowed. So on Valentine's Day of that year, I figured out just from trial and error how to make crème brûlée in the Crock-Pot. Normally we go out to a fancy dinner for Valentine's Day, but, um, I wasn't because I was cooking my crockpot every day. And so one of my favorite things about restaurant meals is ordering crème brûlée. And so I, after Googling, realized that it's actually a custard baked in a water bath, a bain-marie. And I thought, well, gosh, can I use the crockpot that way? And it turned out beautifully. And perfectly. And I was so proud of myself. And in the background, and again, because I'm really a stay-at-home mom at this point, in the background there's daytime TV and the Rachael Ray Show was playing. And at the very end there was a scroll and it said, do you have something that you'd like to share with Rachael? Email the show. And so I thought, yes, I do, because I used my Crock-Pot to make crème brûlée and it was freaking awesome.

And I could see her get it jumping.

I was so excited. I was so excited. So I broke all of the internet etiquette rules. I wrote all caps. I said, I am awesome. I am wonderful. This is what I'm doing. You should have me on your show because I can teach Rachel how to make crème brûlée in the Crock-Pot. And so I pressed send and then I promptly forgot all about it. So a few weeks later, I'm in the kitchen and I'm trying to do stuff. And I remember I've had the toddler up on the kitchen sink and I'm balancing the phone and it had unknown caller. So I put on my kind of cranky voice. I'm like, yes, hello. And then all of a sudden this lady says, hi, do you have time to talk? It's the Rachael Ray Show. I'm like, oh, I do. I have time to talk.

Drop the kid.

I know. Well, you know what I did, Bernadette? You're not going to read this in a parenting magazine. So she was so fussy. And the lady on the other end of the phone, her name happened to be Stephanie also. And she says, "Oh, you are busy. We can schedule another time to chat." And I said, "No, no, no, no, no." So, I picked up the baby under the arm and I opened the fridge and we had a half container of Pillsbury frosting. So, I put her in a dry bathtub with the can of frosting and a spoon and I shut the bathroom door. So then I could talk to the Rachel Ray Show. And so I kept the producer on the phone for about 20 minutes, and I convinced her that I could be camera ready, that I could do all these things. And, um, they sent a crew to my house and they did, um, some B-roll footage at our house. And then a few weeks later, my mom and I got to fly to New York and we appeared on the show, and it was um, it's sort of mind-blowing. It's, it still sort of takes my breath away when I think about how I did that. Um, there was definitely some luck involved, um, but I am the one who sent the email, and I convinced them that sure, I could be in New York. Sure, I could do that.

Absolutely, absolutely. And again, I hope the listeners are listening to this You know, there's that little thing that just has to, you know, kind of push you forward even though you're scared, even though you don't think you're worthy or good enough or you're doubting yourself. And yet if there's that little, little ping, you know, listen to it and go for it like Stephanie has. Oh my God, that is so awesome. And you've been on— you were like on other television shows, right?

Yeah, so since then when the cookbooks came out, they were, um, the first cookbooks were published by Hyperion, and Hyperion is the parent company of ABC Disney. And so I was able to go on Good Morning America from that. And from there, that's when George Stephanopoulos called me a slow cooking expert. So then I'm like, well, if George says it's true, it must be true.

And it must be true. That's hysterical. And it's, and it's funny. And the other reason why I wanted to talk to you about this is I rent my house and I rent furnished. And the only thing in, you know, in the number of years I've rented that I've ever been asked for was a Crock-Pot. And I was like, yeah, I don't, I don't have one and I'm not about to buy one. No one's ever asked me for it, this and that. Well, like 3 months later at Christmas, one of my friends bought me a Crock-Pot. But, and I really wanted to keep it for myself, but I thought, no, my renter, you know, if my renters want it, they, you know, they need to be able to have a Crock-Pot.

OK.

But that's awesome. OK, so let's get into— even though we're into it. But because what I really want to also understand, if I can get my notes out here, is since then, OK, so, you know, all of a sudden this experiment, a year-long experiment, turns— blossoms into these books, into these television appearances. And what is it today? Because you mentioned in your intro that you help moms all around the world. And I'm curious, so how, what are you doing beyond or continuing to help moms?

So my quote unquote babies are, 'cause I did this 13 years ago. So now I have a 19-year-old, a 16-year-old, and an 11-year-old.

Wow.

And, After a while, people started reaching out to me and asking for some other things, and I thought, I want to help in more ways than just pot roast recipes. And after a while, you feel— I felt a little phony baloney of coming up with yet another way to make beef stew, because I get it. I get that. The way you make a different beef stew is by changing one ingredient and giving it a new name. But it started to feel inauthentic to me. And, and I started sort of playing around with pressure cookers and Instant Pot because they are so huge. And, and book publishers started asking me for those type of recipes. So I bought one. It just didn't sit well. I don't like it.

Which one, the pressure cooker or the Instant Pot?

So they're both essentially the same thing. An Instant Pot is an elect— no, that's okay. It's an electric pressure cooker.

Okay.

Um, but, and the, um, the appeal is you can put your frozen chicken in at 5:00 PM and have dinner ready in 45 minutes. And that is very appealing for many people, not for me. I prefer cooking early in the morning. I'm still highly caffeinated and coherent, and I like that I can plop it all in and push a button and walk away, and I never have to go back in the kitchen. So to me, the pressure of having to cook dinner at 4 or 5 o'clock, I just don't like it. It doesn't appeal to me. So even though there was a market for it, Um, I just didn't like it. And so I started thinking, well, just cuz you can do something fast, it doesn't necessarily mean you should. And because of where I live on the outside of San Francisco, right on the, um, kind of the doorstep of Silicon Valley, there's this frenzied hustle and pressure in the air. You, you go outside and people are walking too fast and, and and driving too fast. And there's this sort of pressure-filled area that I just, I don't like it. It doesn't feel right. And, um, and so I started writing about slow living. And, um, and again, just because you can do it fast, it doesn't necessarily mean you should. And what if you took the time to pause and to breathe and really think things through and decide if you're on the right path. If just because the next thing you're supposed to conquer in your career trajectory is in front of you, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the correct thing for you. And I started just sort of paying attention to my kids because they're, they're, my oldest is at college. Well, she's home now because of the pandemic. But, but just chill out, uh, take, take some time and really think things through. You do not need to rush. If we're lucky, life is long, and we might as well just sort of enjoy it and, and, and pay attention. And so it sounds silly, but I sort of envision the game of life as the actual board game. And so you're on your little green square, but it doesn't mean you have to race to get to the next blue square. Just pay attention and, and enjoy where you are and think things through instead of constantly rushing, um, to the, to the next metaphorical square.

And has that resonated with moms? Because I know moms, you know, often feel very, you know, like they have to do everything, they have to have it done now. Has that resonated with moms?

I, I've started coaching and, and working with moms one-on-one. It is not as fast as it would be if I wrote pressure cooker recipes. Because, because they'll write to me and they're like, yeah, but what, how do I do this in the Instant Pot? I'm like, well, you don't need to do it in the Instant Pot. But, um, so I think there's some education that needs to happen. Um, I teach a group, um, coaching course and it's called Simple Shortcuts to Peace. And it's really interesting because I envision peace as, as like the pieces of a pyramid. And many self-help authors and different people you can call, uh, follow online, they work backwards and they work from meditating or figuring out your purpose in life and then everything will fall in place. And I work from the bottom of the pyramid where you have time management and your finances and your health all in the, in the base of your pyramid. And then the next layer up is household organization and relationships. And then once those components are in place, moms especially can feel like their shoulders have relaxed and the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are in place, and then they can spend time, um, on the peace component. But I found, especially for moms, um, it's really, really hard to feel at peace and content if the kitchen's a mess or nobody has cleaned the garage in 3 years and things like that. And so that sort of frantic frenzied feeling, um, doesn't go away until they spend time in each of the different components. And it's tricky because you can have the absolute best, best, best day at work. But if you walk in the door and all of a sudden you snap at your husband or you pick a fight with your mom on the phone, you are not going to feel calm and tranquil. And so I try my hardest to model and then teach also just the different components of the Peace Pyramid because once you have a system in place, it doesn't take hours and hours to clean the house if you're maintaining and paying attention to it a little bit at a time, um, on a daily basis. And, and same with nurturing the relationships of your life and things like that. Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, being intentional, be just taking the time, slowing down and being intentional about what it is you're about to do so you can pay attention and give the focus to a task or a person I love that. Absolutely love that. And I know you talk about too, even as simple as making the bed, you know, every morning. So what is your thought in regards to that and how does that set up someone even to have a really good day?

Yeah, well, we talked about it earlier when we touched upon goal setting. It's sort of like giving you that little gold star in as the very first thing that you did, like, wow, It is 6:00 AM and I have already accomplished something. Go me. Now, now while I'm at it, let's pick up the dirty laundry and bring it downstairs and, and throw it in. And, and just little things like that. Um, I, I try to, um, to, to pay attention. The internet is full of hacks and, and different things, which sort of does have that sort of hustle mentality and drive. But if you're intentional and if you're paying attention, as you go through the day, and maybe you're only touching something once. So if you bring in the mail, instead of just plopping it down on the kitchen counter, you're already touching it. Take the time, it's already in your hand. Throw, throw the, the ads away and, and put the bills on your desk, things like that. So only touch things once. Um, try and pay attention. Um, for instance, when the kids were younger, the floor would get wet after their bath time. So I would use that as an opportunity to sort of half mop the bathroom because the floor is already wet. So use the dirty towel and just kind of go around the base of the toilet and the sink. And you're getting rid of the dust bunnies and the hair that naturally congregate, which means that you're not spending a Sunday, a few hours cleaning a bathroom because you've just done 10 minutes every night, just sort of no-brainer-y. While the kids are in the bathtub.

I love that. I absolutely love that. As I picked up the mail this morning and dumped it on my table, I'll have to go back and make sure I only touch it twice, not 3 times moving it around. You also talk about how, how especially women moms should pay themselves first. And I loved when you said this isn't financial advice. So what do you mean by that, pay yourself first?

So, um, in our house, so we've got a family of 5. I've got 3 children and then, um, a basset hound puppy named Sheldon. Um, the only time I am alone is super early in the morning. And so for me, that means I actually get up at 4:00 AM, which sounds bonkers. And if that doesn't fit for you, figure out what does, But for me, because I happen— the way my biological clock and body work, I am an early riser versus a stay up late at night person. So I get up then and it's just me and my journal and the coffee pot. And I have time to think and sort of daydream and plan out what I want to write about or what my day looks like. And the reason it's 4 for me is because my husband gets up at 5 and then the kids start waking up around 6 and the dog gets up at 7. And by then everybody's awake. And if I slept until the absolute last minute and got up at 10 to 7, I'd feel that sort of frantic frenzied feeling that I don't like. So even though and getting up early, which, which doesn't sound relaxing, it actually is because I have set myself up and I can sort of center myself versus firefighting, which is what happens when you wait until the last minute. You're just putting out fires and you're not proactively planning.

Well, and I think again, you have a why, why you want to do that. While somebody else who's listening is probably going, oh my God, I can't get out of bed at, you know, 8, let alone at 4.

Sure.

But you have a why, and that why is grounding you, and that not being a challenge for you. That's just something you want, you want to be doing because of that why, and that is to, you know, treat yourself, put yourself first, pay yourself first with that quiet time and journaling.

And it's interesting because I'll talk to women on the phone and they'll tell me, um, I could never do it. I can never do it. I prefer to stay up till 1 AM. And I'm like, okay, so what are you doing at 1 AM for yourself? Well, I'm watching TV. So, so how is that helping you? And so yes, you're, you're sort of alone, but you're not alone with your own thoughts. You're alone with some television producer's thoughts. Um, And, and so I do challenge, and, and, um, my, my suggestion would be is to give it a go. Just see what happens if you, um, have that alone time. And it's much easier to not watch television and not have, um, the internet or social media on early in the morning because you haven't turned it on yet. It's easier to just keep it off than to actually turn it off at the end of the night, if that makes sense.

It does. Well, because people think that it's not distracting, it's not noise, but it really is. I mean, they are, you know, you're being stimulated even if you think that it's, oh, it's just background noise. I used to be like that with music. And then my coach many, like about 10 years ago, said just turn off the— like I used to sleep and have music playing. And, you know, she was I was like, no, turn it off and just be in a, you know, dark space and quiet space. And I'll tell you what, the wonders, the difference that it— that made. I was thinking the music was keeping me calm and, you know, let me fade off to sleep, and it wasn't.

It was—

it was noise. Yeah, I love that. I love that. So, um, what would you share with moms being that, you know, you're now— is your coaching specifically focused to moms?

I have a day job of being a school site secretary, which is really interesting. And I'm enjoying it. It's a little tricky now in the middle of a pandemic. But I have some, some teacher friends who are not yet moms. But it's as if I'm momming them, if that makes any sense. So, so primarily the coaching I do online and through my work is through my writing is geared towards moms. But I think it is helpful to anyone who has sort of a caregiver heart where you sort of are putting other people's needs first, and you happen to be a bit of a people pleaser. So I think that does ring true for elementary school teachers who have yet to have children.

Right, right. Well, I don't have children, and like I said, the minute I read your profile and I read about, you know, how to live, you know, life slowly— although it said with a crock pot— but we live life slowly, I was just I want to talk to her, because I tend to be, rah! But like I said, I'm always working on trying to quiet and slow things down. So yeah, I can see how that would relate to so, so many people, but especially teachers. And God love all of you that are out there in the schools that are taking care of our children— I don't have any, but— taking care of our children and putting yourself in that kind of position. Thank you so, so much for the work that you do. Okay, so what tips would you have for them? For— for what tips to live slowly? What would you recommend, you know, women to consider, moms to consider?

So I liked your idea of turning off the background noise and just going a bit quiet. If you do always have the television on You can try and wean yourself off by doing instrumental music or something like that first and sort of weaning that way. I like getting up early. I like journaling. A lot of people don't know what to do when they journal, and so they feel uncomfortable with it. If you have any sort of guided journal, you can work on that. There's plenty of prompts online. I have a 30 Days to a New You journal, um, that I have— I've put out. And I like 30-day challenges, um, versus New Year's resolutions because you have a fresh start. And so a lot of people, for a New Year's resolution, they're trying to do everything all at once. They're trying to fix their health, they're trying to fix their finances, they're trying to get a new job or a new career. But if you break everything down in 30-day challenges, so for these next 30 days, I'm going to focus on my sleep and my sleep only. Um, and then pay attention to your thoughts and journal around that, or for these 30 days, I'm going to give up sugar and it's only going to be 30 days. It's not the end of the world. I can do anything for 30 days. Um, I think that is helpful. To realize that there's a finish line that, that you're going towards. And then it's up to you if you want to continue on after the 30 days. And some of the women I work with decide to give up their nightly wine for 30 days, and then they realize, huh, I'm actually a nicer person without this.

Well, that's what my challenge— that's what my February— I'm doing Dry February, but also with this laundry list of other sugar-based things not to have this month. So, uh, yeah, no, I love that, I love that. But, but repeat what you said about, uh, you have a journal, a 30-day journal. This is your branded journal that you have?

Yeah, it's, it's on Amazon, um, it's self-published on Amazon. It's called 30 Days to a New You, um, and it's definitely geared towards women because I actually Um, I talk a bit about how your cycles, um, sort of sometimes run the show when it comes to your motivation. There are days that you are more motivated than others, and depending on your nature, if you're a very Type A driven person, you can kind of beat yourself up if you didn't have a full-on productive day. And I just want to caution people and let them be aware that we're not Stepford robots. You aren't at 155% all of the time, and it's okay to be at 63% because it all averages out. And I, and I think, especially if you're an all or nothing person, you, you can spend too much time being down on yourself and beating yourself up. With that. And so that's another reason I like the 30-day challenges is a lot can happen in 30 days. And it's a nice sort of jumpstart on things. But if it takes you 40 days to get through a 30-day journal, that's okay too. It's not that— it's just fine. It's just fine.

I love, I love that because I do think we're too hard on ourselves, especially women. Just— we're just— and I'm an A+ person, and I just wish it didn't take me until I was in my 50s to realize that all that rushing and chaos and frenzy that I was in for so many years in my 20s and 30s and probably into my mid-40s was just, just so unnecessary, because I would have achieved the same if not more. Yeah, had I just really appreciated and just slowed down and, you know, and, you know, smell the roses, as people would say, which, yeah, you find to be like woo-woo. But you know what?

No, it's true.

It's true. It's true.

It is true. I, um, that some of— I have a worksheet for my coaching clients, and I talk about, um, feel the feels but then act on the facts. Um, because we have a lot of feelings, and that's okay. And, and you don't want to numb them out. You don't want to numb them out with alcohol or food or drugs. Or something like that, or TV, feel them.

Right.

And pay attention to the thoughts that you're having that are creating those feelings, but then only act on the facts. Because if your thought is you're a big fat stupid loser, that is not a fact. That's a feeling. And so don't act on a whimsy or a fleeting thought.

Yeah.

Nope, I absolutely love that. I absolutely love that. All right, so I want to remind— or actually, not even remind, I want to tell everybody, go to stephanieoday.com. But at the same time, please check out her books on Amazon. You'll find her books, The 365 Days of Crock-Pot Suppers. I dropped my piece of paper.

It's okay, you're good, on the floor at the moment.

But at the same time, check out that 30 Days to a new you journal. Because I'm a journaler. I've been journaling since I was like 8.

Do you save them, Bernadette?

I do. I don't read them, but I save them.

OK.

I have hundreds of journals.

OK. So do you have like an idea? So like in your trust or in your will, is there a specific person who's going to hide them all? Like I always wonder about what to do with the journals.

I wrote in my will, I think it was like 2008 when I was taking my dad to Paris. And, um, I, um, I wrote that it's my sister, but she can't read them. She has to wait for— well, she can read them, but she has to wait for like 3 to 5 years. I heard that Bette Davis did that.

Oh, interesting.

When I heard that Bette Davis did that on her passing, I said, oh, there it is, there it is. And I wrote it into my will that, um, my journals are definitely, uh, read immediately upon my demise. Yeah, they have to give it some time. Although I'm an open book now.

No, but just like a fine wine, they age age a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yes, but yes, yes. Well, that's fantastic. Any last tip you would want to share or any last information you would want to share with everybody?

No, I'm really thankful, um, to have had this opportunity, Bernadette. So thank you very much. And, um, I'm, I'm a real person. If you email me or reach out to me on social media, I will write you back. Um, and, and I I am here to help. So, um, and I'm a pretty open book, so I'm happy to help in any way.

Also, all right, share, because I don't see it right in front of me. Share your email address.

Oh sure, so it's Steph, S-T-E-P-H, at stephanieoday.com. And Stephanie O'Dea is S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E-O-D-E-A.com.

Yeah, awesome. And, uh, you have a master class and you do coaching. So they can go to your, your website and find all that information there, as well as 10 books, people, 10 books. So check her out on Amazon and be sure to reach out and see how she can support you, especially if you are looking, whether you're 20, 30, 70, you're looking to just live slowly and maybe add a crock pot into it.

I can absolutely help.

Yeah. Yeah, look her up and she can help you out. Thank you so much, Stephanie. I so appreciate you being here.

Thank you. You are lovely to talk to.

Oh, so are you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And everybody, I look forward to having you right back here. Please share, like, tweet out this episode and more. Make sure Stephanie is tagged in it. And we will see you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everybody, bye!

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week!