How to Overcome Slumps and Being Stuck with Bernadette Boas

Bernadette Boas, you know what's cool, when you do that. 818-572-2910. Well, happy Tuesday everyone, following a long holiday weekend. This is Bernadette Boas and you have joined Shitting the Bitch Radio. And if you didn't think you did, well, stick around anyway. You could have fun. And if you intended to be here, welcome, and I'm so glad you are. Though I have to tell you, isn't it just an absolute bitch to have to come back after a long holiday weekend? I actually almost forgot about my whole schedule for today thinking it was Monday, and yet it was nice when I was sitting on the couch over the weekend and thought that Monday had to be coming sooner or later, and it just seemed like it was Saturday and then Sunday. Sunday, and then Monday I didn't have to get up, and it was a wonderful, wonderful thing. Not to say I didn't, mind you, but at the same time, it was just nice to have some downtime. And I hope all of you celebrated a fabulous, fabulous, safe and happy, fun, festive Fourth of July weekend. I know for me, and for all the rest of Atlanta, or I would hope not, But we got slammed with some storms yesterday, and not just rain, not just heavy rain, but lightning from cloud to ground, as they say. And so I was very concerned for all those that were going to be hanging out at Stone Mountain and various parts of Atlanta, and actually all over the state, because it was moving very nicely from west to east. In north to south, and I hope that everyone stayed safe and was able to get your fireworks in, because I know for me, I love fireworks, so I sit out on my front stoop and of my front deck, and I would— I'm able to catch kind of over the tree line various fireworks that are going on either downtown Atlanta or over— I'm not sure what group is doing it because I can't I can't see the perimeter area, but there's another set of fireworks that'll go off somewhere between Midtown and down in center of Buckhead, Atlanta. So hopefully everybody was able to get theirs in and were enjoying them as much as we did for as little as we could see them. Apart from that, the weekend was hot once again in Atlanta. I bet you think I sound like a broken record. But it was hot, hot, hot, hot. And therefore, amongst a couple of other reasons which I'll talk about, I was pretty much inside most of the time. I attempted to get outside, I attempted to get the dogs out. I was babysitting, dog sitting one of my friend's dogs, and then I had mine. Actually, I was dog sitting two of her dogs, and then I have Charlie, of course. And yet it was just way too hot. And even when I thought that they were so bored that I needed to do something, I attempted to take them out to the park, and we lasted about 3 and a half minutes before we turned around and came back, because then I started getting worried about them possibly overheating and, and dehydrating and going into some sort of heat shock and God knows I wouldn't want that to happen to me or the dogs, and especially the dogs because they were— they're just too cute and too precious to me. But it was another, another hot, hot weekend, so it kind of gave me a good reason— I won't say excuse, but a good reason to stay inside and to get some work done inside. But guess what happened to that idea? Totally, totally backfired on me. Here I was like, good, I have 3 days, the phones won't be ringing, the email won't be flowing as heavily as it typically does, and therefore I'll have a great opportunity. I'm sure many of you thought the same, to get some work done. And my intention was to get some inside work done, tons of laundry to do that's been piling up, just cleaning around the house, cleaning out my home office, trying to get things kind of organized. And then of course, I am overloaded with some— with work and with some projects that I have going. So I definitely looked forward to being able to do that. And I know one of my editor/voiceover consultants was definitely looking forward to me getting some of my book audio taped or recorded, I would say, so we can create an audiobook. And I'm voicing that book, or at least I am as of now. We'll see how it goes because it's not easy. And yet here I thought, okay, I have a good 3 8-hour days that I can kind of get into my home, home established, home created radio studio. And there's a little trick that Sandy had told me as to how I can create an in-studio sound without going into the studio. And so I had great, great, great hopes, great hopes and expectations for a very productive weekend. But what happened? I was on the couch from— I would say I had dinner with a friend Friday night And I'll talk about that because that was kind of actually really ego boosting, very much so ego boosting in regards to that dinner on Friday night. But then I found myself so mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted that I said, okay, I'm going to give myself the day off and just kind of decompress. Because you know how we all talk about when our energies are low, we can't be as productive and effective as we'd like to be. And therefore we just need some downtime every once in a while. And I, I've been going hard. I've been going really hard for quite a while, and yet I know a lot of us do, but I just said to myself, I need to listen to my body and my mind. I had been kind of sick or feeling like I was getting something earlier in the week, so I didn't want to push anything. So fortunately, the Wimbledon kept me occupied Saturday morning with the women kind of beating it out until the very end. And then I was able to watch the Tour de France, which I'm a cyclist, so that's always entertaining to me. So I was looking forward to kind of, okay, I'll rest and relax, and then Sunday I will get out there and I'll be, I'll be all revved up and energized and refueled, and I'll, I'll get a bunch of work done Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Sunday came along and I felt like a Mack truck had hit me. Now I've gotten out and I did my exercise that I've been committing to myself that I would do, and I did get Charlie out at least first thing in the morning and then late in the evening when it's cool out, but at the same time, nothing overly exhausting. And yet Sunday morning I got up and I just felt like a brick wall had smacked me in the face. So I just said to myself, okay, lay low and work your way into the day, work your way into the work that you need to get done, into the projects around the house that you need to get done, so forth and so on. Once again, Wimbledon attracted me because now it's the guys and we all love watching the guys. And it was Nadal and I don't know how to pronounce his name, Novak. And definitely, definitely got all, all worked in on that competition and was thrilled to see the outcome of it. I love Nadal to death. He's adorable. But it was nice to see a kind of someone who's been out there for years fighting it out with Federer and Nadal actually overcome and actually take a win for himself. So that was kind of cool. And then of course the Tour de France follows immediately after that. And I found myself sitting there stuck. And I'm sure you have had that happen to you on occasion. And what kind of really, really is challenging for me is I don't have a husband, I don't have children other than Charlie. I don't have anyone that really prods me to kind of keep going and keep motivating and keep moving forward. So every once in a while, because if they're not kind of circling my path, I do have business coaches and advisors and a team around me, but of course we all had the weekend off, and I just kind of decided that without them prodding me to kind of get moving, I would just lay low. So Sunday came and went, and I found myself not even wanting to get up and off my couch when a friend offered to kind of pick up some pizza and just hang out and have some chat time. And yet I did, I forced myself up and out, although I stayed exactly the way I was dressed because I wasn't looking to impress her. So I just kind of had some girl time Sunday night and was looking forward to then Monday. And Monday would come along and be a 4th of July holiday day and a day that I— again, the phones would be quiet. And I'm sure like you, you were going to take advantage of it with friends, and you were going to take advantage of it with the fireworks. And if you're in Atlanta, we have the largest 10K in the world. We have 60,000 people that kind of converge onto Atlanta, and that's a great event to even participate in or just go and be a spectator. So I did manage to get up and, and instead of taking Charlie for our normal early morning walk to the park, we walked about a mile down the road and we joined all the other spectators and runners to at least sit out in the sun for about 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and enjoy that. But after that, I turned around, came home, took a shower for probably the third time that morning since it's so hot here, and found myself right back on the couch. No, I take that back. I did have a meeting, so I went to a meeting. It was the only day, you know, when you own your own business, you work kind of all the time. So, and it was the only day this week I was going to be able to get with this particular person before I go off to LA and San Diego next week. So I did have a meeting, so I did get something done, but I did find myself right back in my house in the cool of air conditioning and finding it very hard to get motivated. So I don't know about you, and maybe you have some tricks and tips for me that you can share. And if you are online and you're listening to us, feel free to call into me at 1-818-572-2910. Would love to hear your advice and your tips for getting unstuck like I was over the weekend. Or maybe I just need to give myself a break. And just know that I can, that I can take breaks every once in a while. Sometimes I do pressure myself, as I'm sure you do, to kind of always be going, always, whether it's work or working out or tending the family and the friends, whatever it is. Every once in a while we just need a break. And if you are chatting in, because I see a bunch of people online, feel free to also chat in, give me your comments or or your, your tips or your questions. But today's conversation is about all just being stuck, being kind of wanting to give yourself a break about what it is that, that your body's telling you. And this weekend, though I had a great, great set of goals and expectations in mind for how the weekend would happen and roll and kind of occur as the days went on, I I found myself just kind of sitting and just laying and just relaxing. I did meet a friend yesterday, Monday, after that meeting. I was thrilled that a friend of mine happened to call right as I was leaving the meeting and asked if I wanted to get together for lunch. So that was nice. So I met up with him and we just kind of hung out and watched the tour on the television in the restaurant and just kind of vegetated for a couple hours. Before I then found my way back to my couch. And then the storms came through, not to make another excuse, but then the storms came through and there was great opportunity to not have to leave my house again for either fireworks or whatnot. I can always enjoy them out outside my front door. And so I found myself just sitting and thinking and contemplating and trying to mentally work myself out and into a productive mindset. And I have to tell you, it didn't work until this morning. It didn't kind of refuel, but I am this morning, and I got up first thing this morning back into my routine, and it was a fun reprieve, I would say. So I don't know about you, but obviously my body, mind, and spirit said to relax, and I did. And yet at the same time, do you ever— does this ever happen to you? I felt really guilty. Obviously not enough to get me up and out and moving, but I did. I felt guilty, and I don't know what that's about. I work hard, as I'm sure you do. I play hard, as I'm sure you do, and I tend to everybody around me. Full out. I'm just one of those women, you can be a man, but I go full out when I do go. And found myself, found myself actually feeling guilty that I should be moving, I should be doing something, I should be producing. But I have to tell you, it wasn't enough to get me going. And as of today though, I am back. In full force, and I hope you are too. So I hope you did enjoy, whether it was a busy weekend for you or it was a relaxing Fourth of July celebration. I hope you had the opportunity to get together with friends, family, and maybe just yourself like I did, and just have some, have some nice downtime. And if not, and you were busy and crazy, all the power to you, and I applaud you. I— maybe you need to give me your phone number or email address so I can reach out to you when I'm not feeling very motivated. But I did have some kind of interesting happenings since the last time we, we talked last Tuesday on the same show at the same hour or half hour, however you want to look at it. I was out with a friend of mine, the same Roy, the same friend I was out with yesterday. I was out with him for dinner Friday night. Thursday night, Friday night. And like any good author who just published a book, I'm learning to kind of really kind of— what is that, shameless PR, shameless marketing? I mean, you have to get it where you can get it, right? So I was sitting there at dinner and I just— and I actually was giving him a book. I was giving him a copy of the book and I laid it out on the table and As it was just sitting there, a gentleman came by and kind of looked at it and glanced at it and was very interested in it and actually bought it right there on the spot. I mean, just flat out said, 'I need this, I want this,' and in the meantime grabbed a bunch of my bookmarks and went along his merry way and, you know, kind of did his thing. And the next thing you know, another gentleman did the same thing. He was given the bookmark from the other gentleman and he came by looking for for the book as well. So that was a good ego boost, and it was a good motivator, and it was a good kind of, kind of prod to kind of, kind of, you know, just say keep going, no rest, but keep going because there are people out there that would— that you could help, that I can share my story with and hope motivate or inspire or educate. And then there will be those that don't get inspired, don't get educated, or don't get motivated by the story, and that's okay too. But it was fun, and it always does kind of keep you moving forward. I also wanted to kind of remind everybody, I had a great show last Tuesday with Rico Pena. He's the author of The Client Nation. Their perception, your profits. And actually, he's an expert on human behavior, and therefore he educated and really inspired the listeners to really take advantage of paying attention to the body language of those around you, especially those that you are interacting with directly one-on-one. They wanted to— he's talked about how you can really kind of watch the movements of the people around you, whether it's, you know, their legs, you know, if you're seated, or it's their eyes, or it's their body posture. If you're watching this on video, because as you all know if you listen to me regularly, I videotape my radio shows and my webinars. So Rico was here in town, was here in Atlanta last week, so I was able to videotape him during our radio show. So as he's, you know, talking about and we're engaging on this, you know, how to use body language and human behavior to influence the outcome that we're looking for, we were able to actually demonstrate physically the fact that if someone's sitting back, you know, in their chair while you're talking with them and maybe you're selling them something, maybe you're there on a client call, or maybe you're out on a first date, or you're just talking with a group of friends, but you notice that they're sitting back, kind of not engaged, or maybe they're leaning forward, being that they're engaged. Maybe they're crossing their arms. I found it interesting, the one thing that he did mention is if they're kind of crossing their arms, I want to make sure I do this right, but if they're crossing their arms, so if you're you're out there listening, cross your arms. And then if you're kind of scratching your elbow, I guess is what he was doing, he was kind of like rubbing his, like scratching his arm along his elbow, that's kind of, that's kind of deceptive on their part, meaning that they're not quite, they're not quite buying into you and/or you're about to be node. You're about to be manipulated in some way, shape, or form. I found that very interesting because that— it's a different behavior than if you were just crossing your arms, which a lot of times means that they're not interested and you've lost them. So what you need to do is work to them to get them kind of leaning forward towards you and engaged, kind of mirroring you even. And he, he provided a lot of other great tips and advice around body language and human behavior that you could use to help influence whatever outcome it is, personal or professional, when engaging with other people. And at the same time, what you also need to pay attention to— I do want to highlight this because I find this very interesting— what he also says is that you need to stay conscious of your own behavior and body language. So we can get wrapped up up in what we're doing and what we're saying, and we're getting kind of in our own head to where we lose consciousness, I'll call it, being conscious of how we are acting and what our body language might be conveying to the other person. So for instance, I did, I found this very interesting, and I've been trying to stay conscious, so I challenge you to do the same. Stay conscious of your body language. So for instance, even when I'm here talking into a video camera, and thank God there is this video camera because if not, then talking to a laptop is kind of strange, or a microphone is kind of strange. So I at least have this kind of this video camera in front of me, and I actually have— and I hope to videotape it one day— but I have this like little stuffed animal underneath it to kind of act as a person. Anyway. So having that in front of me allows me to stay conscious as to how I am coming across to you, whether it be voice-wise or visually, since I do have the video camera being taped at this very moment. So for instance, if I'm sitting and I'm not very, you know, engaged with you, it could show in my voice and it could definitely show in my body language. If I am having a challenge or an issue with, you know, getting my message across, I might start to stumble, and therefore I might start to kind of use too much hand motion or body motion. If I am kind of not sure of what I'm going to be saying, and therefore I'm hesitant, then actually eye movements, which he conveys in his book will actually tell you if I'm making something up or if I'm telling the truth. So I just found that to be very intriguing, and he offered up— and you can go out, actually look for the archived audio, or you can go to my YouTube channel on Shedding the Bitch YouTube, and you can find the video of Rico and I. And he offered up a great, great offer on an assessment that you can take. It's like 47 pages long. Long, that you could actually take to make sure you understand your body language. So I just wanted to highlight that, didn't expect to spend a lot of time on it, but as you can tell, I found it to be very, very interesting and very appropriate for all the conversations that we have around how you can work to discover and confront all of those kind of negativities or insecurities or doubts or fears that you have about yourself. And how you can shed them, and therefore how other people might be perceiving you as a result of all that junk in your head. So if you are filled with a lot of what we call bitches around here, and you have all these insecurities or negativities or fears or doubts or just overall belief systems that occurred for a number of reasons or events or situations that you've been through, Well, that is going to come across visually, verbally, emotionally to anyone that you're interacting with. And therefore, if you can stay kind of conscious of what your mind, body, and spirit is saying to other people, you can certainly influence any outcome or anything that you potentially are working on, interacting on, negotiating, or just kind kind of overall, you know, working through as you go throughout your day-in, day-out life. So check out Rico's archived audio or video. It was very interesting, very enlightening. And then since I have it in front of me, for those of you that might be watching this online, I'll show you his book again, The Client Nation. And it's a great book regarding how others perceive you and how how that's impacting the results or the profit that you might make in your personal or professional life. So very interesting. And then I am going to jump into just kind of highlighting, before I talk on our last topic for today, highlighting some of the great, unbelievable guests I have coming up on the show. And if you have any suggestions or ideas, you can always call in to the, to the show. I'd love to take them live right here. At 1-818-572-2910. Obviously you can chat in if you are, you know, if you're online on the switchboard at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. Give me ideas, suggestions as to who you'd love to have on the show. I will go after anybody you want me to, big or small, popular or unpopular. And just to prove that, we got some great, great guests coming up. I have Dr. Dawn Baines, a very brilliant, enchanting woman, an intuit. I'm not sure if she'd want me to tell you that, just in case she wants to kind of leverage that on her call, but she can actually read people even through a phone call, which is how she and I first met. It was over a phone call, and then I've met with her multiple times, and I've seen her and engaged with with her over the last couple years. But Dawn will be on July 19th. There, let me remind you, next Tuesday, yes, I will be traveling, but I'm going to repeat one of my most popular, popular requested— is that such a word? Uh, show. And that is kind of a review and the confessions of my shedding my own corporate bitch, which is what kind of spearheaded of this radio show and activity that's going on around helping you to discover, confront, and shed those inner demons that you might be dealing with so you can create and accelerate all the riches that life has to offer you. So that'll be next week. The following week will be Dawn, July 19th, and then Greg Reid. He is the new voice of motivation. He wrote Three Feet from Gold, a fabulous book. He also has co-authored Think and Grow Rich with Sharon Lechter, and he has extended Napoleon Hill's concepts and ideas around Think and Grow Rich. So fabulous, fabulous speaker and motivator, and I think you'll definitely, definitely enjoy him. And then we have Arielle, Arielle O'Neal, who is just an enchantment herself, and she He just really speaks to your heart and at the same time is very straight and direct with what it is that you need to do to kind of have a full, rich life yourself. And I'm very much looking forward to that. We even have Guy Kawasaki coming on. Mr. Guy Kawasaki, he will be joining me, um, September 2nd, I think it is. And I have some gaps to fill, uh, within August still. But I expect some great names. Robert Guignac will be joining me in August, August 16th, I want to say. And so I just have some great folks lined up. I would announce some others, but I'm going to secure them when I'm out in LA and San Diego next week. So you'll have to stay tuned. Stay tuned on our channel, BlogTalkRadio, SheddingTheBitch.com, or you can even check them out on our SheddingTheBitch.com website under programs. So that— I definitely wanted to kind of touch on what's coming up next. And of course, you can always check out our webinars that we have every Tuesday at 1 PM Eastern time, all centered around shedding the inner demons and devils or voices, whatever you want to call them, inner critics, and giving you tips and methodologies and some resources that you can use to kind of improve your life and your wealth of life. So I want you to kind of reach out and let me know what you'd like to hear, who you'd like to hear from, and what we can kind of collaborate on and discover together as we move forward in helping you to shed the bitches that are keeping you from living a rich life, and therefore I am here every Tuesday at noon to do just that with you. This is Bernadette Boas. Please check out sheddingthebitch.com, Facebook me, Twitter me, follow me. Check out my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. It's gotten some really great reviews on Amazon. You can always check those out as well. So until next Tuesday, everyone, I hope that you live a very rich and prosperous life throughout the week, and we will come together again soon next week. Have a great day, everybody. Bye-bye.