How to Shift from Chaos to Clarity

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. All right, today we are going to get focused, get clear, organized, and excited about your goals, the success you can achieve, and the challenges that absolutely will come up along the way. You're going to move from chaos to clarity, and it's all about thriving in all aspects of your life, living fully, being fierce and pursuing your goals as fears often exist. Understand you can achieve more by working less. So we're gonna talk about chaos to clarity today. And what I really love about this subject and what I really want you to walk away with from this discussion is just that you can indeed accomplish far more than you're accomplishing right now. You can accomplish far more by working less, and you can transform all of that into having the social life that you want, having the traveling life that you want, having the career life that you want, having the relationship life that you want, having every aspect of your life just thrive and prosper and be enriched as a result of you really getting the cobwebs, getting all that chaos out of your head and heart, and even out of your habits and routines, and putting it into a structure and a model that will allow you to accomplish more by doing less, be happier by not being so stressed, uh, live fully without compromising, sacrificing, or having to give anything up. All right, so the first thing I want to really address as you go to work on moving from chaos to clarity is the fact that what it will take from you is attention and focus. And with anything, if you put your attention somewhere and then you focus on that something, then that is going to help you to stay on task, stay on point, stay on schedule, and accomplish what it is that you want to accomplish, as long as you then don't allow the excuses and all those limiting beliefs to creep in. But I want to also talk about that because it will happen. As I said, there will be challenges, there will be obstacles, there will be naysayers, there will be the chatter inside your head and heart that kind of want to, you know, push you down. And so we're going to also provide you and talk to you about some tips and strategies for overcoming that. This is all a how-to today, giving you some real great strategies, powerful strategies for helping you to move from chaos to clarity so you would create the riches in life that you deserve. All right. The first thing that I want to discuss with you is what's called the Pareto rule, if you're aware of it. It basically says that 80% of your outcomes comes from 20% of your effort. 80% of your outcomes comes from 20% of your effort. So think about that. If the vast majority of the results that you achieve at work or at home are gonna come from just 20% of your effort. And the way I like to look at effort is 20% of the honey-do list, the work to-do list, the just-to-survive-do list. So that is kind of where your attention and focus needs to be and where the effort goes into. And so if you look at your current to-do list, at home and at work, and you're getting yourself overwhelmed, and you're getting yourself stressed out, and you're getting yourself frustrated, then what I want to leave you with is the fact that if the Pareto rule is true and you get 80% of your outcomes from only 20% of that list, or those lists that you have, then that should give you such great relief. Such great confidence, such great breath to just relax, stop pushing, stop killing yourself, and enjoy the ride. The first thing I want you to kind of take on as we get into this conversation is I want you to consider, just like you do at work, uh, there's roles, there's positions, there's responsibilities, right? And everyone— it's easy for someone to lean on their title and position, and therefore the roles and responsibilities and the skill set that comes with it. So leaning on that, I want you to consider yourself at work and at home as a time manager. A time manager. Because we're talking about Chaos to Clarity, so we have to get rid of all those things that are just causing you to feel as if It takes you 180% of effort to get that 80% of, uh, 80% of, um, outcome. Or you can look at that, you feel like you're only getting 20% of your outcomes doing 80% of the work or 80% of effort. So we want to flip that on its head, and I want you to consider that as you move forward, and if you want this week, this month, this year to be successful, then consider yourself to have a primary role as a time manager. All right, time managers are both a role and a mindset. It is a role. I, you know, I'm going to give you kind of a prescription for and roles and responsibilities and skills that are needed in order to be and take on the role of a time manager. But it's also a mindset. It's also the mindset of the fact that, yes, I would love to work far less and achieve far more than I'm doing currently. And therefore I need that attention. I need that focus. I need that determination and that perseverance to just keep pushing even when it gets frustrating and hard, because those challenges and obstacles will come. And so a mindset's required that will allow you to say, you know, despite that, because I know there will be challenges and fears and intimidations and, and struggles, I'm still going to do what I need to do in order to overcome, push through, and achieve my results. Because if your goals and ambitions at work or at home are that important and that true, that you truly want to accomplish these aspirations, these goals, these ambitions, then it's certainly not going to come easy, and it's certainly not going to come without you having to put effort in, having to sacrifice, having to make compromises, having to, to adjust, you know, what it is that you're doing today and change who and what you're doing today, um, as you move forward. All right, so I, I want to hit hard on that because too many people— and especially as a coach, I hear it all— too many people just really would prefer that 20% of effort to create 80% of their outcomes without really kind of putting structure and habits and routines and disciplines and procedures in place. And, and if anyone comes up with the secret formula of how to do that without any of those things, please let me know. But it does take sacrifice. It takes compromises. It does take changes and shifts and restructuring in order for you to do something different, new, bigger, and better, and to accomplish it. And that's our goal, is to get you to accomplish it. All right. As a time manager, I want you to really consider and think about and work on these following practices. What I would also love to do is have you come back to me via ballofirecoaching.com. You can email me at BernadetteBoas@ballofireinc.com, or even go out to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, find one of our podcasts or this particular episode, and leave your comments or even leave your questions regarding any of these, um, hacks or, uh, techniques that I'm going to be sharing with you today. All right, first off is goal setting. The first thing you absolutely need, even before you put your feet on the ground and first thing in the morning, is that purpose, that reason, that why you're going to get yourself out of your comfortable, warm, cozy bed and go out into this crazy world. You need to have goals. You need to have a purpose. You need to have an outcome, a target. We're not going to elaborate and go deep into how you go about doing that. You can always check out a recent episode that we had around Goals to Riches. So go to sheddingthecorporatebitch.com or Apple or even onto YouTube and find the episode Goals to Riches. All right, goals. First, have your goals, and I'm talking your business goals, your leadership goals, your personal goals. Have all of them. And for those of you kind of focused right now, because it's, you know, based on the time of year, it could be time to be setting goals. And I separate business and leadership for a reason. The first thing people will say to me when I say, what are your goals, especially as an executive coach and in the work environment, They'll sit there and they'll say, well, I have a goal to achieve this objective and to complete this initiative and to implement this project. That's, that's business. And for those of you responsible for a P&L in any way, shape, or form, I often get, I have to achieve a revenue, a profit, so forth and so on goal. That's business. Leadership is if you answer, if you ask yourself the question, What type of leader do I want to be? What do I need to do in order to become that type of leader? Those are your leadership goals. Those eventually get crafted into your leadership goals. What are those skills, traits, qualities of a leader that you want to and need to work on? And therefore, then you want to define your SMARTY goals. And that's what the Goals to Riches episode is all about. So sheddingthecorporatebitch.com, you can find that episode. All right, the next one would— though, once you have your goals, is priority setting. And what this is all about is the fact that your goals, and especially in the SMARTIE methodology, your goals get translated into action. So you have a plan, but that's a laundry list. That's very much like you know, bringing together your, your at-home and at-work to-do list, and you have an action plan. But of course, you know, you could have pages and pages. I remember— I'll tell a quick story. Um, I remember about 7 or 8 years ago, one of my clients, Bruce, we had just started working together, and I said, okay, I really need you to— once we had the goals, and I said, I really need you to take an inventory of all the to-dos that you have. All the things that you need to do in order to accomplish those, those goals. But more importantly, all those other to-dos that you feel that you have to do during your 9 to 5 work hours. You know, showed up for our next session and happens to be face to face. And he had a yellow legal size, not the other size, letter size, legal size notepad. With about 2 and a half pages of tasks that he needs to do either to accomplish his goals or the fact that he needs to finish these things within the 9 to 5 time period. And I looked at him and I thought, it's not a surprise that you're overwhelmed, because he had everything you can imagine on there. Not that he just had personal and business commingled, But he had personal type of tasks that were taking up so much of his work time. And he— one of his main goals is to get more free time at home. And he had so many personal task-oriented activities that he was putting into his 9 to 5 that it was no wonder he couldn't get his job done or get the work done and the goals accomplished in the timeline. Timeline that he wanted, and it was eating into his personal time and his weekends. So priority setting is critical. You have your goals, you have this— we'll use Bruce— 2.5 pages to-dos. And the first question I'm going to ask you as a coach is, all right, what are just those tasks from that, all that list, that you need to do in order to accomplish your goals. And in this case, we're going to talk pure business type of goals, okay? Business leadership type of goals. What are all of those tasks? And I would say for the average person, about 30% of their list goes away because it is personal and non-goal related, or I should say non-business related activities. So social media, running errands, phone calls, whatever the case might be. So then the next thing is to really look at— I now stripped away kind of the absolute non-relatable tasks tied to my goals. What are those that aren't specifically aligned to the goals that you have? So we all have things that we have to do, right? You know, even especially if you are a manager of any kind, there's a number of people, people type of activities that really aren't tied maybe to your specific business goals, maybe leadership goals, but business goals. However, they need to get done at some point in time. But yet I want you to pull out and put them aside as well and just get down to the ones that are directly aligned to you accomplishing the specific goals that you came up with. Okay, tip I would have is too many managers and leaders walk into their week without pre-planning what they want to accomplish that week, without being proactive about, okay, here I have this yearly goal, I'm going to break it down by quarter, I'm going to break it down by month, I'm going to break it down by then by week, and now I know my weekly goal, what I want to accomplish this week, and therefore intentionally and purposely looking at that to-do list of the priorities and ensuring that you're working on— of that list, the, the even the smaller subset of tasks that are directly aligned to that weekly goal. And a lot of times I suggest to individuals to do that Sunday morning, if not first thing Monday morning. At first, if you're not accustomed to having kind of a priority setting, goal setting type of routine, it, it feel arduous, it'll feel time-consuming. But trust me when I say, once you start building this habit and discipline into your routine, it'll be 5 minutes. You know, it, it might take 20 minutes to look at your big goals, break 'em down to quarter, month, and week. But then when you have it, it'll take no time at all to go, okay, in order to accomplish this weekly goal, I need to just do 1, 2, and 3. And if I accomplish at least 1, 2, and 3 on this list of 10, I've had a great week. And that's what we're looking for. We're looking for all the wins, right? Daily, weekly, monthly, whether it's Sunday night or first thing Monday morning. Be sure to walk into the week with a plan laid out. Now, yes, Things will change. Meetings will come up. Phone calls will distract, whatever the case might be. But you can, you can have significant impact and significant control on how your week unfolds if you actually take control of it proactively at the very beginning. You know, look at your goal, make that list of all the things that need to be done that week. And then each morning during the week, take a look at your schedule, make sure everything is, is kind of laid out on your schedule. Look at your, your list of the, of the to-dos for that week, and then only pick 1 or 3 each day to work on. Even though there might be 10, pick 1 or 3 that you're going to work on starting Monday and focus right then and there, only on those 3 things, working those 3 things into your schedule. So Mondays oftentimes is status meetings and, and other team or project meetings. Mondays, let alone Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, could be packed with, with other things. Well, what you want to do to ensure that you're successful each and every week and you're that time manager who is achieving their goals is that you want to be intentionally and purposely managing that list and scheduling it and ensuring that you're then also looking at that 1 to 3. And there's no such thing as 2 number 1 priorities, whether that's your boss yelling at you, whether that's your team members yelling at you, or a vendor or client yelling at you. There's always an overriding, overriding priority. And you, you're not going to be able to multitask and get, you know, work on both of those things at the same time as if you're ambidextrous. So you need to decide upfront, what is my number one thing out of these three and start working on it. Now, some things, you know, will carry over days, won't be able to get done in that one sitting or multiple sittings, but you at least focus and attention on that one thing before you're moving on to the second and/or the third. Now, what is really key about this? I often find clients that have their to-do list, and yet when they— and they, and they get, you know, things done on that to-do list, but at the end of the day, they lay on their couch, um, and/or get on a call with me, and they're like, I got nothing done today, last week, this past month. And what I like about picking 3 of those to-dos and really focus and attention, putting attention on to working at those and chipping them away and, and, and accomplishing them is, as opposed to having 10 things of which maybe you get 1 done and that's like 10%, and so yeah, you're laying on the couch going, I got nothing done. You're only focused on 3 things. And therefore, even if you only got one thing done, a third of your list is completed. That would make me feel so much better going into the next day and the next week than if I'm only getting 10% done here and there. So that's just another practice you can put into place too, is really look at the fact that if you are only focusing on 3 things from that major to-do list— and by the way, I should also mention, and this was a practice Bruce put in, you then put aside the list. After you pulled off what you want, you put aside the list. All right, so that's goal setting and priority setting. Now, attention— we've talked about it. You need to purposely put attention to the task at hand, to the goals that you have, to the action plan that's defined by those goals, the 3 priorities that you pulled off You need to do whatever you need to do to remove the distractions, move the interruptions, move the excuses, social media, email, the phone, people. If you're in an office, the people coming by and without a meeting or anything scheduled. If you're at home, the kids, the dog, kitchen. You need to find practices to kind of remove all of those. And if you need to, just always please feel free to schedule some time with me to discuss exactly how you can go about doing that. All right, so you can always schedule some complimentary time with me at coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall. All right, so that is goal setting, priority setting, and attention. Now, time blocking. Time blocking is a tool that has transformed so many of my clients' lives, and that is simply taking that list that you've come up with, especially for the week, and then you've looked at it, you know, of the 10 things that you define that you need to get done before the end of the week, and then each day you're defined, you know, you're pulling off 3 of them and prioritizing them. Well, I want your calendar, your work calendar, to reflect everything that you're going to be working on that week. So it could be the meetings, it could be appointments internally or externally, meaning personal appointments that you have that you just can't avoid. And then it's— if you are going to be working on priority number one and it's going to take you today and part of tomorrow, block it out, put it on your schedule. And especially if you're in a company that has shared calendars, well then people won't book you into your time slots. Now of course I know it happens, but at the same time, if you are time blocking everything that you're doing, I would even time block if you need to take a break, if you wanna go to the gym during lunch, if you wanna the office at a certain time. And yes, maybe you pick up your workload at home depending upon the urgency of getting something done. I do not advocate having to work into the, you know, after work and into the night hours. That's time for family and even yourself. But at the same time, it happens, right? So, but if you can take your goals, get those action plans, set the priorities, put attention and focus to it, time block your calendar. So you, you know, are blocking out time for the work that needs to get done. So now it's dedicated. And my routine is like, first thing in the morning, I look at blocking out my goal setting. I mean, it's like 10 minutes. I block out my social media work. I block out reading time. I block out dog walks during the day. Now, I do work from home, so that makes it easy, but I block those things out. And then I find the white space, meaning the open slots from meetings and calls, to then assign what's on my priority list, those 3 items. And if you can get yourself in a habit of treating your work as seriously as you treat your personal appointments, meaning if you have a doctor's appointment, you're going, right? You're not going to necessarily move that around unless something's urgent at work. So treat your, your priority list, those 3 work time slots, just as important. Do not allow, well, Joe needs this, and we'll get— we're going to actually get to addressing that next. But make sure your, your calendar is as complete as possible and then live by your calendar. Okay. The next one would be yes management. And I just touched on this actually. So yes management is all about the fact that you have to manage when and how often you're saying yes versus no. And again, this runs rampant in, in corporate when we have bosses and bigger bosses and bigger bosses. It runs rampant with women more so than men, the inability to say no, the inability to feel as if someone else's priority is more important than your priority. And I would challenge you to make it a habit of just simply questioning the priority when anybody asks to do something that is not on your priority list and therefore is going to sabotage your ability to achieve your, your goal for that day or that week or that month. So the boss can come in and say, hey, I need this done in the next couple of hours, I need it by tomorrow, or the end of the week. There is nothing wrong with you saying, okay, but Joanne, I have these other priorities as well. Where does your priority fall on these lists of priorities that we have? And can I— you know, if it— does it have to be tomorrow? Can it be at the end of the week? Can it be next week? You would be surprised, and many and many of my clients are— you would be surprised how often someone, whether it's a boss or a teammate or whomever, even a vendor and a client, will say, I don't need it. You're right. You know, take an extra couple of days. So be sure that you're managing your yeses and get them translated or transformed into nos or questions that will allow you and them to make the decision on what's really a priority or not. Because I can guarantee you 9 out of 10 of the urgent priorities that someone throws at you and you're not challenging, they are not priorities. You're just making them priorities. You are making them priorities. And therefore, you definitely want to learn to say no or learn to— if you don't like that, learn to ask questions and challenge anyone, even your boss. And if you're, you know, a manager, leader, executive of any level, then that's your role and responsibility. I mean, that's what you should be doing. You don't just— yes, you know, don't be that yes person. All right, learn to say no. All right, and lastly is fear management. I mentioned this early on around the fact that we all have challenges, we all have struggles, we all have things that we're going to need to overcome, and one of those things are fears that we have. About taking on a new project, asking for a promotion, asking for a raise, asking for the sale, giving an employee, you know, hard feedback. We all have fears. And the key, though, is to find the evidence that proves that fear is not, is not true. So an acronym for fear that I love is false evidence appearing real. We've all had fears in our life, but guess what? We're still standing. You're still standing. You're still breathing. You're still doing what you're doing, being you, right? So don't you want to hit yourself when all of a sudden you spend so much time worrying and stressed out and scared of doing something, and then when you do it, it's all of a sudden like, oh well, that was easy? So Recognize upfront that maybe you're dealing with imposter syndrome. Maybe you're dealing with, you know, limiting beliefs of not being good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, ready enough. Any of those ring true for anybody? And then find the evidence of whether it's true or not. So you're not ready enough. If you are ready, you're going for the wrong job or the wrong opportunity, because if you're ready, you should be going up much higher. No one's 100% ready for something, or the, or the role or position or the project or opportunity they're going after isn't a challenge. It isn't like the next step. It's not leveling up. So say to yourself, all right, so I'm feeling as if I'm not ready. Is that really true? Do I have the experience? Do I have the encounters? Do I have the relationships? Do I have the skills? Do I have the role and responsibilities? Is coming in, you know, 60, 70% versus 90, 100%? Are these things that I could be learning, you know, versus having to have already? But find the evidence. If you're scared of asking for a promotion because you don't feel like you deserve it or you've earned it, really do the homework, do the research, find the evidence to prove it wrong. Oh no, no, no. I've overexceeded. I've taken on new challenges, additional bonus opportunities. I've, you know, I've had stretch goals. So I certainly have earned asking for a promotion and, you know, asking for a raise, so forth and so on. False evidence appearing real is what fear is, and you just simply need to acknowledge that, acknowledge you have that fear, and then look for the evidence that it's not true. And even to the point of you're saying to yourself, wait a minute, I've been here before, and guess what? It worked out. And if it didn't work out, like you didn't get what you wanted, all right, so they said it's not the right time, but eventually it did because I am where I am. So find that evidence. And then what I want you to do is what I call honor your riches. I want you to actually take an inventory of all your skills, your experiences, your ex— expertise, your accomplishments, your successes, even your lessons learned and best practices. And I want you to lean on those. I call them riches because we spend so much time on the negative, on the lack, on the inadequacy. We don't spend enough time and lean on our riches, what really makes us who we are and what brought us to where we are today. So fear management is all about you finding evidence that your fear is not real, it's not true, and it won't— it may or may not, you know, happen, you know, the whatever goal it is that you want. But at the same time, you've been there, done that, and you're moving forward. All right. And while you're honoring your riches, because that— those are going to, uh, propel you forward, they're going to motivate you, they're going to inspire you, they're going to want want you to recognize that, yes, I am worthy, I am deserving, I am capable, I am ready, so forth and so on. Okay, remember, small steps— of all those things that we've talked about— small steps lead to big results. 20% of your effort will accomplish 80% of the outcomes you're looking for. So recognize that all of that stuff you have on those pages, on, in those notebooks, on your phone, whatever the case might be. If you bring them together, get them organized, get them focused, get them planned out, get them prioritized, get them time blocked, put attention and focus on them, and then deal with the head games of, you know, saying yes when you want to say no, and or you know, being scared or feeling unworthy or undeserving, and all you need to do is find the evidence. Package that all up and build that into your, your daily routines, disciplines, and you will create the riches in life that you want. And that is what I want for you. So we covered a lot in that, and I, like I said, I would love to hear if you want to go to— if you go to ballofirecoaching.com, you can go to sheddingthecorporatebitch.com, find this episode and leave your comments or your questions regarding any of it. Um, but also, if you want to talk and you want to discuss your situation, your— or your need for structure and discipline, or any one of these, uh, practices that we've discussed, then go to coachmebernanette.com/discoverycall and, and schedule some complimentary time. It's all about you, and let's make sure that you have what you need in order to move forward and create the riches in life you deserve. All right, until next time, thank you so much for being here. Check out all of our episodes on sheddingthecorporatebitch.com. Leave your comments, reviews, and ratings on Apple Podcasts as well as YouTube. And I'll see you next time. Bye!