How to Stay Sane When All Hell Breaks Loose with the Holidays.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you on this beautiful, beautiful afternoon, at least here in Atlanta? Not sure where it is, wherever you might be. Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish friends. I get reminded most, most years I try to remember, I really do, I really do, and then I'll get a note from somebody like, hey, you know, it's Hanukkah. So happy Hanukkah to all my friends, all my friends, and you know who you are, and I love you to death. And to everyone that is celebrating the celebrating the holidays because it is December. We're right in the kind of the midst of it, and the chaos has begun and the stresses have begun. So I thought for today we could be talking about a number of subjects. A few weeks ago we talked about managing the chaos of time, um, during the, during the holidays, but you could use those tips and and pieces of advice anytime throughout the year. And we've talked about a number of the questions last week on Ask Bernadette, kind of dealt with the same thing, like holiday blues. So you can go back to sheddingthebitch.com, our radio channel, um, for to, um, get the downloads or to download our, uh, replays. And then you can also go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and download any of the ones you want. Also iTunes, of course. And we do have— and I want to thank the listener who shot me a note regarding Shedding the Bitch was missing one or two of the episodes, and especially the one around sexual harassment that someone was interested in. So everything on sheddingthebitch.com, our radio channel there, is all up to date. But of course iTunes and BlogTalkRadio as well has all of our past episodes for the last several years, actually. So you can go back and take a look at various subjects and just pull down at any time one you might be interested in. And of course, you can always go to our Shedding the Bits YouTube channel for when we have been able to have guests in our Atlanta studio, or when I travel, and/or when it's just me, and I decide to, uh, put those on video as well for your Shed the Bitch video or YouTube channel.

So I'm all worked up, I'm all worked up.

I was just telling Deborah— as a matter of fact, welcome back, Deborah.

I, uh, we told everyone last week that you were out not feeling real well, so I'm glad you're feeling better.

Thank you, I'm happy to be back.

The woman of many words. She leaves all the chatter up to me, and she just makes sure all of you are taken care of.

But I am glad that you are feeling better.

And so she's out there, everyone. Should you want to, you can call in 1-818-572-2910 at any time during the live broadcast, and I'd love to talk to you as well. You can go out to our Facebook and Twitter pages, Shedding the Bitch.

And you can post any of your comments, questions, stories, challenges out there as well.

And whether or not we get to them during the live program, I will absolutely get to them, especially within the same day, and we might even bring that conversation back to the show in the future. So tons of ways to stay connected with the Shedding the Bitch community and make sure that you're getting all of your questions, um, uh, asked, but all your stories told, because that's what it's all about, is telling stories to help you really create riches in your life. So today, um, we're going to, like I said, we're going to kind of talk various subjects, various things that kind of got left out from the past couple of episodes. But I have had people come to me and they want to talk about how to handle these holiday parties that are going on. And, um, despite my outward extroverted appearance, I find, uh, some social situations just as awkward as you might. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk about how can you kind of find peace and joy during this chaos, um, of the holidays. We'll talk about how And even those gatherings that might be awkward, I even had some nice surprises come out of a few of them over the last couple of weeks. So we'll talk about the fact that we'll help you handle the awkwardness of holiday parties, but we'll also talk about kind of what could be the nice surprises that come from those gatherings as well. And we'll talk a number of other subjects. We're going to close on a subject. That's not really about holiday per se, but it is about bullying, which is a regular topic here. But unless you live under a rock, you probably have heard of the young boy, Keaton Jones, whose mother posted a conversation she was having with him regarding being bullied at school. And not only do I want to talk about his take on it and his experience, but then I was just absolutely dumbfounded, dumbfounded by the response that he and his mother are getting online. It's just absolutely appalling, absolutely disgusting, um, and it— there's just no place for it.

And, you know, I'll just kind of caveat this with It is a holiday time.

It is when you really, really, if not, you know, all year round, you're considering what this very, you know, kind of holy time means to you. And so, and many of these people that are spewing this hate out there, they consider themselves Christians. And that just, oh, absolutely just got my goat this morning. So I just kind of added that in there. We'll tie it all into just You know, despite the chaos, despite the stress, despite just what's going on in the world, come on, people. You know, if you can't do it 12 months out of the year, how about just a day, a week, a month during the holy, holy holiday period? Regardless of your religion, just let's focus on trying to be good, loving, compassionate, passionate, caring, understanding people.

All right, so we're going to talk about all of that.

And just, um, an FYI, just a little shout out as well, uh, many of you have asked about the snow that hit Atlanta. We did, we got hit about 3 inches right where I am, which is like almost in town of Atlanta. And, um, I live kind of in a very green, hilly area, even though I am close to town.

And so I'm waiting for it to fall out because I do have some snapped tree limbs dangling over my roof of the house, and I'm praying that there hasn't been any damage.

But we haven't been able to get to them yet because it hasn't fully thawed out here yet. But thank you very much for the inquiries on Facebook and Twitter and directly to me. I so sincerely appreciate that. Um, but I'm fine. So is Charlie. He's not with me today, he's hanging out with a buddy, but, um, we're all good here. All right, we're going to take a break and then I have a nice little kind of soothing surprise, um, as we come back into this conversation. Your rich tags for today— we really don't have a rich question for you, uh, your rich tags for today will be joy, so hashtag joy and hashtag shed the bitch, of course. But we'll be right back to continue this conversation.

You, you are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career the career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com /shuttingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone.

We're trying to address the stressful, the chaos, the awkward times that the holiday season can bring many of us.

Us, maybe not all of us, but many of us. Before we get into this conversation though, I just want everyone to take maybe 10 seconds, 15 seconds of breaths of just calm and kind of get yourself grounded and just forget about everything that's going on around you. And I'm gonna play you a short little snippet and we'll just, um, pay attention to about 10 seconds, 15 seconds of it., and then let's just come back and we'll help solve some of the angst that people feel during the holiday season. All right, let's see. It's called Bittersweet by Pottington Bear.

Were you able to breathe, take breaths?

Deborah was saying that it might have cut in and out a little bit. Hopefully not when it actually, it replays for majority of you that, that listen to our program on the road, so to speak. But I wanted to just kind of get get you out of your head as we get into this conversation. And like I said, if you have any questions during our conversation, then be sure to either chat in with us right on our blogtalkradio.com/jennythebitch radio page. You can scroll down if you're listening to this online, scroll down and find a chat room, and you can always chat with me there. Or you can call in and Deborah and I both watch the studio board, the switchboard, or you can then go on Facebook and Twitter after the program and always feel free to shoot us notes as you feel fit. All right, so I heard a statistic this morning after having a conversation over the weekend about these holiday parties. And social gatherings. And the statistic was that the average company should— not that they do, but they should spend at least $75 an employee on the holiday party. So if a company has, you know, 100 employees, they'd be spending about $7,500 for their holiday party. And the conversation kind of veered to whether or not that was a good use of money. Would it be— would the employees prefer to be handed that $75 on a gift card, or, you know, do they really enjoy that gathering and that opportunity to kind of let their hair down and really socialize with their friends, their work friends? Well, the room all of a sudden got very divided, and I won't say equally, but it got divided to those that love to party and love to get dressed up and they don't do it that often, and they love kind of the gathering and the opportunity to smooze with their bosses and their peers and so forth and so on. While there was a very distinct group of who you could immediately— and as a coach, I try to stay very observant— who immediately like gets quiet even in a conversation like this. And so as we, you know, continue talking, um, it's, it's brought up that they just really have a very difficult time socializing and being in those social settings because, you know, kind of coming up with things to say and things to talk about socially, personally, is far more difficult for people than it is if they were kind of talking about a business report or a project going on at work. And I found that very interesting, although not surprising, because actually I coach a number of individuals at all levels of an organization, even to the top of an organization, and I'm talking corporate as well as entrepreneurial, but in this case corporate. And many people just have a— feel very awkward, have a difficult time kind of letting their hair down when it comes to coming into a room and maybe they know 3 or 4 of the people but they really aren't comfortable even with the managers or the big bosses, and they just would prefer if they were just handed kind of a gift card or something or have a lunch as opposed to some of these social holiday parties. And this could also relate to, you know, a neighborhood party you might be having, and I'll tell you my story in a minute. So I got to thinking, uh, you know, when I talk to and I coach my own clients in regards to it, there's some very simple, simple things that can be done to kind of make you feel better. But before I get there, what I really kind of found surprising was that, um, the, the group of people started talking and started sharing. Even the extroverts started telling the introverts kind of their own awkward stories and their own situations that they've been in, you know, despite how outwardly social they are. And the next thing you know, they were having their own coaching session amongst themselves, you know, trying to get, you know, the whole group— and there was probably about 7 or 8 of us— the whole group comfortable with just that, that point of discussion because it was very obvious. And you can think about yourself when a conversation comes up or when you are put in a situation like that that kind of requires you to put yourself out there a little bit. And in this case, even with this conversation, it was you having to reveal and disclose that you are uncomfortable and feel awkward and aren't very secure in those type of situations. And for that, some people will even kind of go inward, so to speak. So I found it very illuminating that this group of people, both men and women, were all of a sudden supporting and helping and coaching each other. Yet at the same time, majority of them, extrovert and introvert, all agreed that they'll take that $75 any time over that social party. And so I just would have you think about, you know, what would you choose to do and then even why would you choose to do it? Because one of the tips that we all talked about the other night was also the fact that, well, if that's the case, especially because some of the people in this group of 7 were senior managers, senior leaders, if that was the case, then why don't you consider the options that your employees would want before you just assume that everybody wants a holiday party. And why doesn't the people who do feel awkward, who do feel that there's a better way of spending the money, why don't they raise that up to the management team proactively in order to kind of consider alternatives? You know, maybe it is a lunch-in where everyone feels comfortable or everyone feels that they can enjoy or it doesn't cost $75. Maybe it is a gift card, maybe it is a day off, whatever the case might be. So that was kind of more the very business, very tactical approach to things. But if you do feel awkward or you're just not quite sure what to do when you're kind of being asked to take part in that type of situation, because of course there's some political pressure on people. That if all of a sudden your boss or your big boss is throwing a holiday party, or there's somebody in the community, you know, even a friend that you're, you know, your circle of friends who is having a party, you know, there is some degree of pressure that you need to show up. So what can you do to minimize that stress and to really enjoy it? Because the next thing we're going to talk about is those type of gatherings can be very, very surprising and could be very kind of blessings for you because there could all of a sudden something happen at that event that you never would have expected, and it would never have happened had you chose to kind of fall victim to your own, you know, insecurity or awkwardness. So the one few things that I suggest to people is, well, first get an understanding of who's at the party.

So for instance, even the other night, I don't necessarily have company parties.

It's a company of a handful, my own company, but I do, you know, go to other people's, like film industry holiday events. I go to business association events. I go to, like I did the other night, to a neighbor's social event where you can always expect that they're probably going to have their own friends other neighbors, business acquaintances, so more people you don't know than you do know. And this is what I suggest to people: one, get an idea of who is going to be at the event, and is there any type of— and it's going to sound very tactical and very academic— but is there any research you could do to come up with some things that you could be talking about with people? So of course the number one thing I suggest to my clients is simply walk into a room regardless if you know anyone in that room and simply smile. And then the best icebreaker is simply to say hello. And for some reason, that simple 5-letter word, um, people find difficult. They'd rather kind of just grab a drink and hide in the corner. And I am just as guilty of that as the next person. If there are certain situations or certain moods I'm in, I might find myself in the corner just kind of hoping somebody comes to me as opposed to me going out into the crowd, so to speak. But majority of the time, I know that at least if I have a smile on my face, a true authentic smile on my face, although I would suggest faking it until you feel it, but a smile on your face and that 5-letter word of hello, how are you, I'm Bernadette, what's your name? What do you do? All of those are very, very basic. At the same time, you can always, especially for those people you're supposed to know pretty well already, but it's very business-oriented versus social, well, you could find out if they have dogs, kids, if they, you know, certain sports, like right now with football and the playoffs, and especially for the male, you know, peers and managers. Those are always great subjects to kind of educate yourself on enough to where you can have a conversation. Not that you have to talk stats or sports or teams, but enough to just say, hey, you know, how the dog's doing, or did you see that game with the dogs or the results of the dogs, and what does that mean, and what do you think's going to happen next? So there's definitely homework.

That you could be doing in advance to make yourself feel comfortable.

The other thing I suggest people do, as after they've done that and as they're getting ready— and I've had clients, I've had clients who have asked if they could call me and just get like a little bit of motivation and a little bit of a, uh, productivity, uh, self-esteem type of boost over a 5-minute phone call before they're about to walk into an event or as they're getting ready to go to the event. And so I've had people in taxicabs, I've had people standing outside of a restaurant or a business club, and simply just to kind of give them some comfort and some, you know, support and cheerleading as far as getting them motivated to walk into a room that they you know, are already assuming they're not going to be comfortable in. But so you kind of, if you have to do that, reach out to someone and let them kind of give you a nice gentle push. If you need to stand outside, I'll oftentimes, and I've talked about this a lot, I'll oftentimes get in my car as I'm going somewhere and I'll just blast the music. But it has to be like right now, I'd be blasting Christmas music, which I do 24 hours a day during the holiday season, um, just to kind of get me pumped up. Then I might get quiet as I go from the car to the building or the home and just kind of get in my head but out of it to just go, "You know what, just relax and have a good time." And if you go in for 5 minutes and have a drink and leave, or you go in and land up spending a couple of hours, don't put so much pressure on yourself. They can be awkward situations, so let me give you my example of the other night and then I'll move into the point about the surprises, lovely surprises.

So I was thrilled to be invited, to be asked to join in on a holiday party of a neighbor.

The reason why I was thrilled was I had not heard from them and they had been dealing with some things over the past couple of years. And so when I saw the invitation, I was just so excited for them as well as for me that I got to see them. And just know that everything obviously was good and was okay. And they were having this holiday party to kind of celebrate that. So I was so excited. Now, I also knew that in the 2 years, I probably don't know anybody at that party other than the 2 of them. So at first I was, you know, debating whether or not I was gonna, you know, not go or go.

And so, but I was really wanting to see the 2 of them.

So I went. Now I also have a—

I'm also having and dealing with a meniscus knee issue.

So the thought of putting heels on was just beyond me, but yet the only other thing, choice I had was sneakers, which I wasn't about to do. Plus add the snow that we had just had that morning. Okay, so you can get that in your head. So, you know, again, I could have used all of that as an excuse not to go and not to deal with that awkward situation. But I said, okay, fine, I'll bring my sneakers to the house, and as I get to the house, I'll take them off, replace them with my high heels, and get right into the house and, you know, grab a seat because my, you know, my knee was, was bothering me. I didn't know anybody. I did know the two, the host and the hostess, and after that, I didn't know anybody. But like I'm suggesting to you, I simply said, you know, I'm going to grab myself a drink, I'm going to put on a smile, and I'm going to say hello. And let's see where it goes. And if not, then trust me, especially when you have a phone with texts, you know, you always have an out. And I thought to myself, okay, if I'm not comfortable or if I just don't feel it, then I can have a drink. I saw them, gave them a poinsettia plant, and I can leave, you know, gracefully after having, you know, a little hobnobbing. Well, it turned out— here's the surprises— It turned out that Paul, the host, introduced me to this woman who is a fellow executive, and we started having a lovely conversation, and Paul was boasting to her about my authorship and the fact that I have a book and what the book was called and everything about that. So, you know, the next thing you know, I'm talking to her and she's all excited about it. And long story short, she starts walking around telling people, you know, the name of the book and how excited she is about it and that she wants to buy it right then and there and that they should also look into it and they need to meet me. And all of a sudden I'm like, what is going on? And had I not gone, none of that would have happened. And then it actually concluded with one of the women that she was suggesting I meet with is a very high-level senior executive of one of the major headquarters here in town, and we had a lovely conversation with two other women simply about just the whole concept of bitch and shedding the bitch and what it means to be a woman in business and what all this sexual harassment thing is doing. My point being, my point being is you just never know kind of what might happen, who you might meet, who they might, you know, be able to connect you to, whether it's about your job, whether it's about your own business, whether it's about your, you know, personal relationships or your community, it does, you know, whatever the case might be. I also had another party the next night, I think it was. I also then, I knew a lot of people there, yet this one person I didn't know, and the next thing you know, we're having this lovely conversation And, you know, now I have a new friend. So, uh, you know, my, my lesson— or yeah, my lesson to you would just be that there's a lot of things to overcome the anxieties of a social gathering, um, but I would just challenge you to push through it because you could be leaving a lot on the table, as they say in business. You could be leaving a lot of opportunities, a lot of new friendships, a lot of new connections, a lot of just laughs. We, like that night with the, with about my book and with the few women that we were sitting around having a conversation with, you know, all of a sudden I'm having these people say, gosh, you're just so, you know, you're so authentic and you're just so transparent and you're so honest and you're just so, you know, your energy level. And, and, you know, I walked in there apprehensive and I walked out as if I was on cloud nine. So I would just challenge you to consider what, you know, opportunities you would have if you just pushed yourself a little bit when it came to whether it's these awkward situations or any other situation through this holiday season. You know, it is chaotic. It is full of pressure.

There is a degree of politics when it comes to things from a business perspective.

Yet at the same time, if you just kind of sit back and relax, you know, and put all of those things aside and just think about what you could be gaining and contributing to each of those experiences, and you might find yourself really, really enjoying the season even when in the past you might have just felt awkward or not comfortable.

Fair enough?

All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we get back, we're going to talk about, um, how to find peace and joy in this, uh, in this time of season. I also wanted to talk about this whole thing of Merry Christmas versus Happy Holidays because something happened to me the other day that I thought maybe you all can relate to and maybe benefit from as well. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@deborahparker78@gmail.com. @gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We're talking kind of the stresses and the chaos and the awkwardness of the holiday season and what you can do and how you can kind of put those aside, push through some of the stresses in order for you to really find peace and joy during this holiday season. So when it comes to peace and joy, it is, you know, a period of added pressure, as we talked about, and added stress, time constraints more than ever, just from the obligations of work and at home and the kids and Santa Claus and shopping and cooking and Not that those things don't exist all year long, but all of a sudden for a month to 6 weeks, people just go absolutely crazy. And of course the crowds are out there and the malls are packed and the roads are packed. Well, in this case, the post office is packed. And I kind of had an experience yesterday where I just thought to myself, you know what, it's just not worth it.

So how can I find peace and joy? How can you find peace and joy in kind of all of this madness that we call the holiday season?

So yesterday I got a slip in my PO box mailbox that said I had packages, and the line was long, but I thought, you know, I was surprised 'cause it was Monday, and I thought, why isn't everybody working? Um, but I thought, you know, it's going to be— get even busier and busier as we get close to the holidays.

I'll just hang out and, and do it now.

So 20 minutes later, I'm still in the same spot I was in 20 minutes, um, previous, and now the line's getting even longer and longer. And it turned out that there was only 2 people working in at the post office, and one of them was tied up with this young lady who just was having a really hard time with getting some international shipments properly, you know, properly paperworked, I'll call it. So there was really only one person, and that one person, I have to admit, in the whole time I was standing there for about 50 minutes, uh, uh, you know, the way she was just able to handle everyone, talk to them, chat with them, but while she was still kind of, you know, doing the work to process each customer. And then at the end of each customer, she said, "Happy holidays, you know, and have a great day." And I just, I walked up to her when I finally got there and was just like, you know, "You deserve a medal. Just the patience and the joy that you're bringing regardless of all this chaos around here." And she's like, "Well, what other choice do I have?" And I thought, you know, you're absolutely right. So I hand her my piece of paper And she said, okay, this is gonna— this could take a while. And I said, oh great, as this line behind me, you know, queued up, is probably a good 20, 24 people deep. And so I just thought to myself, okay, a number of the people I was watching behind me, they're just getting really stressed and really pissed, and I'm waiting for them to start, you know, making comments and whatnot. And, um, so I started kind kind of singing Christmas songs because I even commented to the other, uh, post office clerk, you know, why isn't there any music playing? Why isn't there any Christmas music playing? And she's like, well, our new manager's not allowing it. I'm like, oh my gosh, then you're gonna force me to have to sing. So I kind of was standing there and I was doing this as much for me as I was for just kind of levity, um, you know, for the whole thing. And so I started— they had Christmas cards um, fixtures on the counters. They had, you know, magnets of the stamps that you could be buying on the cat— on the cabinet. And so I just started kind of organizing everything and playing with stuff. And I was finding these nice cards with great pictures, you know, the front of the cards. So I started taking pictures of them so I could post them to social media. I'm probably going to get in trouble for that now. But— and, and then I turned around and I just started engaging with this line of people, and I was like Happy holidays, Merry Christmas. And they're all like reciting back at the same time, happy holidays, Merry Christmas. And so I just thought to myself, you know what, you know, we can all kind of take a deep breath and we can all just decide to manage the chaos and manage the hecticness and manage the long lines and the slow people and just manage it with some levity and with some you know, music and song. And just, you know, even if you have to go in your head and pray or meditate. And so as the woman came back out and she's like, oh, you, you know, you have a surprise, you got an additional, additional, uh, shipment. And I was like, oh, how nice is that? And I actually got 2 additional boxes, uh, pleasantly surprised by. So we had a lovely conversation really quick and I gave her my ID and kind of turned around And I just said that, you know, everybody just, everybody take a deep breath, they're doing the best they can, you know, happy holidays. And I did have a woman as I'm walking out, she said, Merry Christmas, very sternly. And we'll get to that in a second.

But so I just kind of would suggest to anybody and everybody that is kind of in their head, in their body, you know, wanting, it's all about you.

This season is really all about everybody else. It's supposed to be about giving, it's supposed to be about joy, it's supposed to be about peace, it's supposed to be, you know, holy, however you might view that. And I would just, you know, suggest that maybe you could prevent and eliminate 99% of the hecticness and the stress by simply just, you know, just taking the break, maybe shaking it out. You know how swimmers they shake out their whole body as they're getting up on the podium to, you know, dive off. And I would just do that and just, you know, even just start singing or doing something to kind of let it go because it really, you know, is not doing you any good. And at the same time, it's not allowing you to really appreciate just what's going on around you, even when it, you know, even that nice post office clerk the clerk, and being able to compliment them and thank them for their service and letting other people know that they're trying hard even though it might not be at the pace and the time that this immediate gratification, you know, period of life is spewing on us. So that's just my little thought around how you can find peace and joy in this time and really, really just appreciate. Because the next thing you know, it's going to be January 15th and we're going to be back in the, you know, the, the, the, the hog of the year. Um, that's not the word I was looking for. And so, uh, you could probably find yourself a lot of, um, fun and happiness by just breathing, maybe meditating, and singing songs if that's the case. I won't sing for you, I'll save you that pain. But let me use that because that's where my Merry Christmas versus Happy Holidays situation came in, was that woman, she, you know, I said Happy Holidays. Now I'm Catholic, and so that would be Merry Christmas. At the same time, I've been very corporatized for many, many decades. Uh, not an excuse, I'm just telling you the way it is. And, and as a result of that, I appreciated the fact that there's all, you know, various religions and all various celebrations going on this time of year. And so Merry Christmas may not be appropriate for all. And so, you know, the next thing you know, you're buying happy holiday cards so you, one, don't have to figure out if someone is Jewish or they're Catholic or they're something else, and therefore, you know, happy holidays, very generic. Well, I have to admit, and it came before this woman yesterday, she just happened to jar me awake to it again, conscious to it again, but I have to admit, over the last several years, as I'm getting de-corporatized, at the same time I'm really trying to bring God and and my faith into my, like, into my awareness.

It's always been there, but I've never really put it on the surface, as I call it.

And I've been really doing that a lot and trying to do that a lot over the last few years. And so she just kind of reminded me that it's Merry Christmas for me. Um, it's— it is a faith, holy, you know, Christian time for me. And therefore I should relish in that and not feel, not feel, not ashamed. I would never feel ashamed from it. But I shouldn't feel, you know, put off or taken aback by the fact that other people might be celebrating another holiday. Just like I opened up the show with Happy Hanukkah. You know, I appreciate that. I'll acknowledge that.

And therefore, you know, any of us, any of you, Um, you know, you want to own who you are and what your beliefs are and where you kind of reside when it comes to the holiday season.

And I would love to know all the different celebrations and all the different religions and all the different ways that they kind of, um, uh, honor that, whether that's happy holidays or happy Hanukkah or Merry Christmas or tons of others. But I'll admit I don't, and I don't know about you, but I don't. And so I don't know what you do. I'd be very curious as to, you know, how do you greet other people? How do you celebrate this time of year, you know, when it comes to communicating, you know, your well wishes for the holiday season? And do you feel pressure at all that you have to be politically correct, I guess, is what it comes down to. And I will say that for decades I was politically correct, and until I went out on my own in this whole last, you know, 7, 8 years, it's not that I want to be disrespectful, because being non-politically correct is not being disrespectful. It's merely owning who you are, and I'm really, really always working on owning who I am.

And I thought that that was a great segue into something I want to touch on.

It really doesn't have to do with the holidays, but it does— you can wrap it around just this idea that this is supposed to be a peaceful, loving, joyful, holy time, however you define holy.

But holy time.

And, you know, I had seen— and I'm sure unless you're living under a rock, I'm sure you've seen this whole viral video of a young Keaton Jones, a young boy who his mother captured her conversation with him in the car having— after having been bullied at school, and he was in absolute tears about it. And his, you know, his core message was why is it that, you know, these kids, but anyone, would go after people who are different and why would they criticize them and why would they want to make them feel so bad and hurt them so, so bad. And, you know, why is it that people who are different are picked on and they shouldn't be. And he kind of segues it into, and wise, wise, wise young, young boy, you can't call him a man, he's like 10, but wise young boy because he actually had the courage and the foresight to actually turn it into coaching tips, you know, and advice to other people because he went on to say, You know, um, you know, uh, he went on to say that why would you, you know, why don't you look at people as different, as just that, different?

Why do you have to, you know, criticize them and beat them down and hurt them so bad?

And went on to say, um, it will get better, just, you know, kind of just keep that in mind. And as hard as it is, and it does hurt, it will get better. And I just, I just filled up with tears, but part of it was tears of pain for him, but part of it was tears of joy that through all of his own pain he was able to then, you know, be a mentor and give advice as to how to, for other kids, how to deal with this type of situation. Now, you know, so that's from Keaton's point of view. And then—

excuse me— and then I found it wonderful that his mother wasn't—

she just— she wasn't there to tell, you know, and be that parent that just kind of hears it out and tells him, you know what, you just need to deal with it, man up, boy up, you know, boys don't cry, that type of thing. And granted, not, you know, as many mothers would do that as maybe maybe fathers would. But instead, if you listen and watch this video, instead she's engaged in the conversation and really, really wants to, you know, not only hear him but understand what he's dealing with. So she goes on to ask questions like, well, how does that make you feel? And what did they, you know, specifically did they do to you? And was it only you or was it other people? So she's really trying to get through his tears, you know, kind of a real good understanding of not only the situation to where she can like, you know, kind of storm out of that car and go back to that school and rip apart the head of, you know, the teachers and whatnot. But she really wanted to kind of truly understand what this was doing to her son. What impact it was having on him. You know, in his spirit and his confidence. So you really have to kind of listen and appreciate that engagement. And of course, you know, just the whole idea that, you know, but it's existed since the beginning of time, I'm sure. The whole idea of people beating up on other people. And I'm the last person, you know, to really, well, I'm the last person to really preach about it while at the same time I'm the best person being that, you know, I kind— I did that to people myself. And not as necessarily a kid, but even as—

which is even worse— even as an adult, as one of those corporate tyrants.

But what I really just got devastated over, absolutely disgusted and devastated over, is if you go online and you look for his video, which I haven't even been able to find his actual original video that got like 2 mil— or 20 million views. There are so many people that jumped on the bandwagon to put their voice to this situation, and I don't blame people wanting to put their voice to this situation, but I'm just stunned that the voices that they're putting to this situation is not only you know, good for you. You know, Bieber jumped into it. You know, all these stars are jumping in on this conversation.

But then the amount of hate that has kind of also jumped in on this conversation.

Even comments on— and I don't know that this was the original, original video, but it, you know, because it really only has 1.5 million views.

But I've been looking for the original video and I can't seem to find it.

But, you know, you have people that, you know, are making comments like, you want to know why they bully you, dumbass? Because you call people the N-word. And then there's this other, he is ugly and mom's a racist. What a combination, you know. And then I won't get into the whole mom situation, but, you know, oh my God, you don't know these people, people. You don't know their backstory. You don't know, you know— oh, it's just unbelievable to me. And then it gets even worse with my dude—

darn, I just moved away from it—

they're cutting up his looks and his appearances and they're making comments about the fact that he deserves all of this bullying. And then there's another person who comments, oh, he's not really bullying. He needs to— you know, get a backbone. And these are not like kids, these aren't even boys or men, these are also women, which just absolutely disgusts and horrifies me. And they're young and old. And granted, he is getting a lot of nice comments being said about him, but at the same time, the, the bulk of the conversation is— and there was one that just was just absolutely disgusting. F him for calling other kids the N-word. I don't know anything about that. Something called—

something, you know, a comment was made about him looking like the Bahamut.

Oh, I really shouldn't talk when I don't know how to talk.

The snowman, you know, the abominable snowman, you know, his big nose.

It's just unbelievable to me. It's got me all kind of worked up.

That's why I can't put two words together right now.

Uh, am I— my— just my request, my thought for all of us, every one of us who sits there and judges somebody else, um, and especially those that sit online and they don't know these people, they don't know their backstory. The situation with her mother, she even like was devastated over the fact that the pictures that supposedly, I guess she has a Confederate flag that she's holding up, and her family, there's another family picture about it. It was the only like 2 photos of this situation of all the photos of them. Agree with it or disagree with it, you know, have an adult conversation, an adult debate, ask them questions as opposed to making judgments and, you know, making presumptions that could be totally, totally off base.

And meanwhile, you're creating all this hate and all this angst in the world.

You know, none of us, none of us have the right to judge other people unless we're going to judge ourselves first. And so, you know, it's almost like, you know, until you can look yourself in the mirror and you don't want to cast that stone on yourself, well, then don't be casting it on other people.

And just kind of use this time to be appreciative of what is going on in the world. So that's all I have to say about that.

Anyway, thank you so much for this episode of the program, and I'll look forward to having you right back here next week when we discuss and talk with Sharon Williams. And we're going to talk all around how to be connected and how to stay connected, and not only this time, time of year, but all year round. And let's just kind of be loving and peaceful and joyful with each other this holiday season. And I'll look forward to talking to you right back here next week. Talk to you soon.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.

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