How to take that big leap without fear.... with Bernadette Boas

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you? I was just having a conversation with Debra of Parker House Virtual Services. She's out there. And she was asking me how I was, and I was like, quite honestly, I was like, I'm exhausted. I had 9 dogs at my house over the weekend since, I think, yeah, Friday, and 3 of them left yesterday, and so now it's down to Coco and I, but oh my gosh, I was, run ragged, but had tons of puppy, puppy, puppy love all weekend, so that's fun. No, I don't run a doggy daycare, although that was Deborah's suggestion. I just kind of love taking my friends' dogs and helping them out when they need to get away and that kind of thing, and they all know each other and get along, so it's, it's a puppy party, and why not, right? Why not? But I just, you know, I'm not 20 anymore, so running up and down stairs and, you know, going playing with them out in the yard, it definitely, definitely created a lot of oomph this week, and I'm just trying to get over the hump of running, being run ragged. But I hope all of you are doing well on this wonderful mid months. It is already the middle of May. I just, I don't understand. And whether you're 25 or 30, maybe 35, um, just hold on because, uh, as you get older, being in my mid-50s, it just seems like the clock speeds up so much faster than ever before in my life. And I can't believe it's already the mid-May, and I'm already writing articles and doing things about, you know, middle of the year and the year being half over, and it's just crazy. But I hope you're having a wonderful day and wonderful week for yourself. I do want to do an early shout out to all of those— there's some heavy storms coming through, at least on the East Coast. And so we're preparing here in Atlanta, we're preparing for about 9 days of just constant, constant rain and flooding. So I'm not sure what the rest of the country looks like, but just take precautions and be safe. And my little girl, no, my little girl Coco, my new little foster dog, well, actually she's now mine, but she is chewing on the studio chair. No, no, you don't need to do that, nope. All right, just a little distraction there. But everybody stay safe if you are confronted with any of Mother Nature's wrath. Just please be safe. And then this is a big week, I think, for the world, but at the same time, a couple things even for my own family. Well, one, who's all getting excited about the royal wedding going on this weekend? It is quite exciting that there's a mix of the Americans with the English and the royal family. And not sure that I'll be getting up at 4:00 AM on Saturday morning to watch it. I might lay in bed with some headphones zooms in and pull it up on a streaming service of some kind to check it out. But I go off this weekend for my nephew, my first nephew, actually I guess it's the second wedding, so it's my second nephew's wedding is this weekend, so we're preparing our own version of a royal wedding that'll be going on Saturday as well. But at the same time, if I don't know about you, I remember Diana's wedding, and I believe it was back in '80, '81. I was in college watching it and just was in awe of just the pageantry and just how beautiful she looked and just the pomp and circumstance around all of it. So it'll be fun. It'll be fun to watch. But, you know, nowadays With the DVRs and with constant replay of media and news on our laptops, on our phones, we really don't need to see it live. So I'll be just as happy to see some after clippings of the event. But I do want to do a shout out to Francis, my nephew, and his soon-to-be wife Marissa. Congratulations, I love you, bud, and what a beautiful, beautiful family you are walking into and embracing and creating this weekend, even with your new stepson. So it'll just be a beautiful weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing everybody. Today, though, we are talking about how to take the big leap in your life. Those big chances, those big risks, and how can you feel more secure, more confident, more empowered in doing so without a lot of fear or a lot of paralysis, which many people out there suffer from. I'm asked often about risk-taking, and it's often when it comes to conversations I'm having with prospective clients or with current clients or even just friends about, you know, just what it is that they're looking to pursue or looking to take a chance on. And yet so often they're in their heads about that decision-making as opposed to looking at things very simply and very logically, as we talk a lot about here on Shedding the Bitch Radio. And I'm accustomed to being asked about taking risks. Uh, it's pretty much been the way it's been, uh, most of my life, whether that be, uh, family, uh, whether that be friends, whether that be peers, or especially my clients who, uh, are always trying to uplevel themselves and get to the next level of their career, their own business, or even just their lives. And I certainly have a lot of experience not only with myself and family and friends, but also with other people that I've worked with or I've engaged with that I can use all of that expertise and experience and lessons learned and blessings, lessons and blessings as I call them, to guide and help and support anyone going or wanting to take risks and are unsure about how to do that. And I would prefer to kind of educate you and educate others in regards to it because one, as women, it's not true, it's a myth that women are more adverse to risk-taking than men are. It's not true, and yet the perception, and perception is someone's reality, the perception is women don't take risks. And therefore we really need to, as a community of not only women but just of professionals, just of people, We really need to work on shattering that perception because it is holding you back. It's holding women back as a whole. It's holding back new opportunities and new advances with just that perception being out there and kind of ruling and dictating decisions being made about a promotion or a new business venture or whatever the case might be. So that's what we really want to talk about today, and we really want to arm you— I really want to arm you with not only examples that you can relate to, but also kind of a process that you actually can just simply adopt to taking risks and how to do it in a— I'll call it a safe way, but it doesn't guarantee that you won't you know, fail or you won't make a mistake along the way or it won't work out the way that you intended it to. There's no guarantee to that, but there's definitely some steps you could be taking to just minimize that and feel comfortable and own. It's all about owning your decision-making, and especially when it comes to taking risks. You owning it will allow you to take on and accept whatever outcome comes as a result of it. So that's what we want to talk about. So as we go to break, I want you to be considering this rich question, and like we always do, I'll ask you this question. It'll, it'll be centered around the conversation we're going to have, and I will hope that I can provide you input and insights toward answering that question for yourself, and if not, then you can always reach out to myself and/or I leverage my whole posse of experts that I engage with on a regular basis, and a lot of them are guests here on Shit in a Bitch Radio. And if I don't have that expertise or that uniqueness that you're looking for, then I'll go to someone else to get you the support and the answers that you need. So here's your rich question regarding risk-taking. What I need you to really get grounded with is what your opinion or belief system is about risk-taking. So what is it? What is that opinion, that perception, that inner rumbling, or your overall belief system when it comes to risk-taking? We talk often about needing to be aware, needing to be conscious, needing to be honest and needing to be grounded in kind of who you are, what you believe, what you don't believe, what you want, what you don't want. And understanding this, understanding your opinion or your perception or your belief system around risk-taking will help you to shift and make changes as it pertains to it. So that's what we want you to get grounded on is your opinion, your belief system around risk-taking, And if you happen to want to scribble it down and put it in writing, and we'll talk about this later, then that would even be that much better for you to really just get very aware and very transparent about where you stand when it comes to taking risks. Rich tags that you can use on Facebook or Twitter with us is #takingrisks, so the hashtag #takingrisks. You can use hashtag exciting times. We're going to talk about this because I find taking risks to be exciting, while others not so much. And then of course hashtag shed the bitch. So when we get back, we're going to get into this whole conversation around risk-taking, what your perception is generally as a population, and then what you can really relate to as far as what other people and how other people view risks and even yourself, and you may not be honoring what you're already doing around risk-taking. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com consulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media relations at sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are having a conversation about taking risks. Taking that big leap, as some people refer to it, or jumping into the deep end, or going off the rails, others might express as their opinion when it comes to taking risks. As my family members might call me being a risk taker in their mind is just simply nuts with some of the decisions that I've made and the risks that I've taken over the years. I'll share some of those with you as well as other folks, what they've done and the results that they've achieved. Because we all know opportunities just don't fall in our lap. We have to be willing to step out, and we'll talk about the fact that you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. All right? So I'll leave it there. On a previous show as well, I had mentioned to all of you, when it came to this subject matter, the reason it became kind of a topic you wanted to learn about was a conversation I had had with my brother, actually in my 20s. I had come home from a trip, I had been gone since I was about 18, and I had come home to Philadelphia to my family, and we were headed out for a beer probably, and he kind of just, you know, got in his car, I sat in the passenger seat, and he just kind of stopped and he just turned to me and said, Bernadette, How did you just all of a sudden one day decide that you were going to pack your trash bags, which I used, I used big green trash bags, I didn't have any suitcases, and just kind of throw them in Michael's car and take off for Florida and you never come back? Like, how did you just so casually do that without, you know, really thinking about how mom or dad might perceive it or how the kids might you know, perceive it, or just the chance and the risk that you were taking, and you never had been to Florida before. Like, how did you just do that? And quite honestly, I have to tell you, I kind of just sat there bewildered, totally unsure of kind of the gravity of what it meant to him as far as my just kind of throwing my life into a Pontiac and taking off for Florida. And so I just said to him, I said, "Where is this question coming from?" And he basically had said— he was in his mid-20s, so I was probably 28. And he simply said that he was, you know, considering moving to California and going out west. And yet at the same time, he really didn't want to, you know, leave my parents. He didn't want to leave the family. My father had, in my senior year, had started having some heart problems. And I said, Tom, I'll call him Tom, I said, you know, Dad would tell you that you have to live your life. You can't sit around waiting for him to die or for something to happen or for things to be the right time or the right place for you to take that risk, to take that chance. I said, he would want you to go and pursue whatever it is that you would you would want in life. And yes, things are going to happen and you're not going to be there to control it, but that's the risk you need to take. And that has always stayed with me. I'm 55, 56 actually, and, uh, over 30 years that stayed with me because, um, that's just how I've kind of operated my life. And therefore it's kind of a passion of mine to help others feel a lot more comfortable in making those decisions and taking those chances that, one, you want to take. You want to put that risk out there because you know that in order to— like I mentioned before, you know, in order to have new opportunities, new adventures, new excitement in your life, you have to be willing to get uncomfortable. You have to be willing to take those risks. So, I promised that we would talk about it when I first told you that story, and actually I want to say it was during an interview of one of our guests, and so that's really what I want you to be thinking about, and as we had talked about your rich question about what your opinion, view, or perception is of risk-taking, I want you to kind of consider it. I want you to be honest about it. If it does scare the bejesus out of you, then just own that and be okay with that. And then, you know, my intention is by the end of the program, I will have given you tips, even have given you other stories that you can relate to, to help you kind of calm that fear, calm that anxiety, calm those questions running around in your head so you feel more comfortable. In considering risk and then even taking risk. But let's look at what risk is. It is exposing one to danger, harm, or loss. Now, certainly there are risks that people take that are dangerous or harmful. So if you're looking to go skydiving or climb Kilimanjaro or being a flamethrower, those are dangerous and, and could cause harm to you and to others, quite honestly. But most of us, most of us aren't— that, those aren't the risks that are really kind of paralyzing us, that are preventing us from taking those chances. Most of us really just deal with that last element of risk, and that is loss. You know, that scares the bejesus out of us because it involves not only loss but even failure, which in many people's mind is considered losing and losing something or someone. So think about it, you know, if you quit a job to pursue an acting or singing career, or you're moving across the country, or even, you know, somewhere around the world, you're starting a business, even a family, Those are risks that one can take that they can get in their head about what they might lose as a result of it, let alone if you're all of a sudden going to throw a lot of money at a business or throw money into a technology or some sort of, you know, investment venture. You know, the loss of money is also something that really can cause someone to, to get paralyzed by. And of course, in the work that I do, working with professionals, working with middle managers, executives, even individual professionals who are just looking to up their game, the biggest one that I, you know, kind of have to support with my clients is when it does come to taking that risk of asking for a promotion or a new position or a new opportunity. That's especially where women are concerned. Not only asking for it, but asking for it when they feel for themselves, whether right or wrong, that they're not ready for it. So we— you probably all know that men will ask for a promotion, take those risks when they're only 40% ready, and women tend to wait until they're 80% plus before they take that risk. And yet, if we can get the women especially, to bring that number down. Bring it— it doesn't have to be 40%, but at the same time, the— what I view, how I view that situation is if you're 80% ready for something, you're going for the wrong promotion or position. You're taking the wrong risk. That's not a risk, that's comfortable. If you're 80% ready for something, ladies, that's comfortable. What I'd rather you do is recognize that a new position, a promotion, means that there is a space of you not having full knowledge, full, full experience, full expertise in, and that you need to grow in, because that's what— where the adventure is. That's where the newness— that's where the learning comes. So taking risks can be mitigated very easily by just Recognizing that not all of the risks you are defining for yourself have a large degree of danger, harm, or loss. It's actually what you're fabricating in your head—remember that fear, false evidence appearing real? It's what you're fabricating within, you know, your two ears that's accelerating, is exasperating and elevating that level of risk that you're perceiving it to be. So if you think about it, if you take that 80% and take the example of the promotion or position and are willing to say, okay, when I'm at 60% ready or even 70% ready, I'm going to ask for that promotion, you will have minimized your adversity to risk that much more. You will have minimized it that much more. All right? But like I said, the biggest risk people feel and fear is loss. And I'm going to turn it on the head a little bit because I need you to be thinking about this as well. Is it the fear the fact that you don't take those risks or you wait until you're 80% because you don't feel that you're ready or that you might fail at that new promotion or new position or new job or moving across the country or starting that business, or is it like many, many, many of my clients, is it that when you take those opportunities, those adventures, those new ventures that are presented to you? Is it also a fear that that will change you and therefore that could change the world around you? So let me give you an example, for instance. So as I went off and started my shedding process and got rid of the corporate bitch that I once was and started to take on kind of my true authentic self as Bernadette, as the ball of fire, whatever you want to call me, it absolutely not only changed my compass within me and therefore everything about me, but it also changed my view and my perception of the world and of the people that were in my world. And all of a sudden I started realizing that I was making shifts, making changes, changing direction, you know, regarding the people in my life, regarding the work that I did, regarding the clients that I had, regarding the money that I spent, regarding everything within my world. And it is really scary to take that risk of potentially losing everything that you're accustomed to, that you're comfortable with, and all of a sudden shaking it up and having to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I've mentioned to you all before that the risk that I had taken was that I was going to— I was so determined to be the true authentic Bernadette and not this corporate tyrant anymore that I knew that it was going to risk the peers and the colleagues and this, you know, everything around my life, in my life. And the next thing you know, I was, I found myself sitting on a couch by myself for about a year with little to zero friends other than my family up in Philly and a best friend of mine in Miami. But here in Atlanta, as I was changing everything about me and my world, I had a, I took the chance and the risk that that loss was going to be big, was going to be quite significant. And as uncomfortable as I was in that year sitting on my couch by myself with my pup Charlie at the time, I also knew that I was the most comfortable in my own skin than I had ever been, at least for a good 25, 30 years. And but the fear of that loss will keep us, will keep you from making those hard decisions, making those opportunities to present themselves to you. You will kind of almost put a shield up to prevent them from revealing themselves to you because of that risk of that loss. And that's what we just need you, I would love for you, to just overcome and recognize that being uncomfortable can be very rewarding. Taking those chances, even finding yourself on a couch by yourself for a long period of time, can be the most liberating, freeing, and rewarding, empowering, loving— I mean, you can just continue to add the positive, the affirmative type of expression to it, because that is exactly what it can bring you and exactly what it can give you if you're willing to face that false evidence which appears real and it's not. It's purely fear and it's purely that consideration of that loss that may may not ever happen. And that's what we really want to— that's what we really want to just overcome, at least minimize. If you can at least minimize that, then you'll find that your world of opportunities and of those risks become that much more exciting and that much more liberating and filling your world with new opportunities that you've never considered before. Now we're going to take a quick break, and when we get back, I want to talk about what you could be doing and how other women— and I'll use examples of people in my life that have taken those risks, have defined their risk, have answered that question about their opinion, their perception, their belief system around risk-taking— and they've changed it or they've shifted it in order to realize that there's a lot more, there's a much bigger world out there. Once they can minimize that fear and open up those opportunities for themselves, they are now risk— no, not risk-averse. They are risk-takers as opposed to risk adversers. That's not what I wanted to say. However, we will be right back and have— continue this conversation on leaping with energy and positivity and with confidence. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media relations questions at sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. On this lovely Tuesday, we are discussing taking risks, and as opposed to being one who avoids it, we're talking about how you can kind of be open-armed, embracing taking risks in order to find those new opportunities, those new adventures, those new exciting chances that life has to offer you. And let me just share with you that taking risks, especially for women, taking risks are a huge success factor and play huge when it comes to business and when it comes to your success in business, whether that's in a business of your own or in a corporate environment. People are looking for those who embrace and are— and welcome taking risks. So, how can you become strategic or really become a successful risk-taker? Well, there are some things I want you to keep in mind. First off, you've been taking risks all your life. And if you've been part of the program in the past, you will hear a term, honor your riches. And what that means is that we have bitches and riches in our world of shedding the bitch. And those bitches are your fears, insecurities, and negativities, and your riches are all those things about you, whether it's your qualities, your skills, your values, your traits, your expertise, your background, your experiences, all those things that make you who you are that we tend to forget about. We certainly can call out our faults, our negative— our negativities, the things that get us stuck, whatever the case might be, those are our bitches, but we tend to overlook really honoring what makes us the beautiful individual that we are, that you are. So the one thing I would want you to do is as you're answering that Rich question around your perceptions, your attitudes, your belief systems, your opinions about taking risks, I want you to consider and honor what you've already taken risks on, if you've been on this earth at least, let's say, 25 years, you've already taken tons of risks, whether it was on the school ground or whether it was making decisions about going off to school and leaving your family, leaving your friends. Maybe it was to take on a new job. Maybe you had to move to a new city in order for that, you know, to take that job. Maybe it was the partner or the spouse that you decided to get involved with and have a relationship with. Whether it was the money that you spent on that house or in that car or that business that you have. Most women will say they're risk-averse, but if they would just take time to really honor all the decisions and all the risks they've already taken, though they take for granted because they don't seem so, so huge, so life-changing, then you would be able to make a list and really be able to appreciate all the decisions, all those risks you've already taken. And so that's kind of the first thing, even when I'm working with clients and we, and we start talking risk. And again, I'm working with clients to up their game, whether that is in their own personal life, or most of the time I'm working with someone within a corporate or their own business environment.— and what they're looking to do is, you know, up their game as a leader, up their game as the CEO, up their game to be the next C-level executive. And part of that is making sure that they're looking for and seeking out those risks, those opportunities, those adventures, those situations, those relationships, those projects, those strategies or strategic initiatives that they never considered being part of before, they may not be ready for, they may be very uncomfortable with, but yet those are what are going to differentiate and cause and allow them to stand out amongst anybody else around them. So I will have them just sit down and really, you know, not only verbalize it to me but take the time to write out the riches of experiences and skills and decisions and risks that they've already taken because that helps them to say, oh, you know what, they're right. I, you know, if you've been investing, you know, as a high-risk investor or a, you know, in your savings and planning process, you know, don't take that for granted. You know, I had, since I was like 18 and I had a corporate job, I was feeding the 401 and I was feeding my portfolio. And, you know, the first thing they'd ask you is, you know, what's your risk tolerance? And I'd be like, very high. And I was like that probably until the day I spent the last dime within my savings when I went out on my own. And decided that I was going to risk everything in order to do what I'm doing today. So, you know, stepping back, sit down, write out your own list of riches when it comes to your risk-taking and your decision-making over the years, and I can guarantee you, you're going to have a newfound appreciation for those those steps that you have taken that you pretty much have taken for granted up until now. At the same time, when you sit down to do that, write out in black and white or blue pen, whatever, your opinion, your, you know, belief systems, your attitude toward risk, just so you can get a really clear idea and a true, honest, authentic, transparent idea of where you are when it comes to it. And you can include a kind of a 1 to 10 scale of where you are with risk. And it doesn't have to do with money. It could do with anything. Are you willing to, you know, amp it up to a 7, 8, 9, or 10, or are you in the 3, 4 spot, or maybe even 5, which is pretty average when it comes to making those decisions that could be life-altering. So that would be the first thing you could be doing to become a strategic and successful risk-taker. And then the other thing would be that you have to go out and seek those opportunities, those adventures, those challenges. So how can you do that? Well, the one area that I really took for granted when I was in corporate, and I took it for granted until people started kind of pointing it out about me, is there were a number of times, probably a good handful, 4 or 5 times, over my career where starting from when I was 20, where I would find a job or maybe the job wasn't even defined yet, maybe they didn't have a role, but I found a problem that needed to be solved, and I would go to my boss or even to the CEO directly, and I would say, "I see that there's an issue over here. It's not being taken care of or it's not being addressed." and I would like to, you know, kind of fire myself from my one job and go over there and do that. Now talk about not being ready. I had no clue as to what that might look like, but that was the risk I wanted to take in order to have that new opportunity, that new adventure, that new challenge, that new learning, that new growth, that new expertise. I mean, the benefits are endless when it comes to doing that. One of my clients, for instance— this was a few years ago— one of my clients was struggling. She lived in a country— she lived in Switzerland, was originally from India. So Switzerland, you know, you could debate, you know, how friendly they are to both women and foreigners. And she really felt that she was struggling in her profession. And she had her own business. So we were strategizing. She was extremely stressed out. She questioned, you know, really doing anything dramatic when it came to a shift or a change, but she also then over time of working together, she realized that was the only way anything was going to be different, anything was going to be new, was she was going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. So ultimately what we strategized on and decided on is she would actually leave, because, you know, in Europe you can pretty much travel anywhere on train and go to, you know, to other countries very easily. And so her decision was to find business, find clients outside of her own country and go elsewhere in order to build her business. And that was definitely new, uncomfortable, uncertain. And, you know, she just weighed the, weighed the, the odds, the pros and cons. And we'll talk about steps you could be taking, a process you could actually take that's very logical, that's very simple, in order to minimize your fear of risk. But that's what she decided to do. And it's— she's been extremely successful as a result of that. And not only successful, because that's one factor you might be pursuing. She was much happier. She was doing the work she wanted to do, and she wasn't dealing with the adversity and the obstacles that she had been dealing with before. She was willing to take that risk, and she saw the— she had the endgame in mind, and she went for it. Now look at Oprah. Oprah, here she looks like she has a very successful career. She would never have any doubts or insecurities or obstacles standing in her way when she she leaves having her own show to starting her own network. But boy, was she dramatically surprised at what it was really going to take in order for her to step out and have her own network. And it wasn't as if it didn't matter that she had all the money in the world, didn't matter that she had all the connections, all the network, network insiders, so to speak. In her camp, you still have those obstacles. You still have those barriers of entry. You still have those things that even come out purposely to work against you. And therefore, she kind of had to weigh her level of risk and her willingness to deal with all of that in order to achieve her end goal. And, um, and after a number of years, because it didn't work the first few, after a number of years, she realized that she finally found the formula, and, you know, the rest is history. So we all deal with it. And actually, we were having a conversation, a few of us screenwriters, filmmakers, having a conversation about the fact that, um, you know, if it's hard for someone like myself or my friends who are screenwriters or directors or producers to find the funding to produce the film that we want to do. You know, it's one thing it's hard for us. It's another thing to watch the A-list actors, producers, directors who have been there, done that, and they can't even get in certain rooms or find the funding or get their project greenlit in order to get, you know, produced. So, you know, it's— we all have our challenges, we all have our obstacles, we all have our naysayers and our haters and all the other things that might cause us to say, you know what, I don't need to take this risk, I'm just going to play it safe. And yet, what fun is that, right? The other thing too is when it comes to risk-taking, it's really wanting to seek out that newness, that differentiation, that uniqueness. That will, especially ladies, when it comes to corporate business, those are the, the qualities, the traits that are going to set you apart from everybody else around you. So if you are in a competitive environment, and every company, every business, every industry is competitive, they all just have their own you know, elements of degree of drama, I guess I'll call it. If you are looking to set yourself apart and, you know, set yourself to be more of an opportunity, more of a candidate, more of a high potential than others around you, then find— seeking those opportunities, those chances, those risks are going to demonstrate for someone else the leader within you because leaders take risks and leaders seek out risks, leaders seek out newness, being different, being unique. So let's look at an industry, you know, let's call it entertainment, the singing artist industry. I was watching The Voice the other night, actually I think it was last night, and there's one, Kyla Jade, an awesome, awesome, just beautiful, like take it to church gospel pop R&B singer. She's just unbelievable. And yet if you've watched her, you know, she was a background singer, and I'm not even going to say who she was a background— Jennifer Hudson, I want to say she was a background singer for. And now she's taking the chance, she's taking the risk to kind of put herself out there as the front woman and, you know, setting herself up for possible rejection and obviously disqualification when it comes to the Voice, which is based on votes, which is based on favoritism, which is based on a lot of things that could be very judgmental. And if you watch her and see her She's still very, very, I'll call it insecure. She's still very unsure of herself. She's still very closed off from the risk that she has been taking and she's not kind of honoring it. If you watch her, she's always looking down. She's got these big eyelashes and she rarely kind of lifts her head and just looks right at you the entire time you're, that's the judges or someone's talking with her. And yet, if she was to honor her riches and sit down and make a note of just in the period of time this show's been on, the risks she's taken and the result that she's made. Now, she's faltered on some and she's excelled in other areas and blah, blah, blah, but yet, if she would simply just take the time to honor what she's already achieved, she would realize that she can lift her head up and be proud and be confident and empowered and emboldened and own the fact that she's where she's at. Whether or not she wins, you know, the ultimate prize that the show has, she has definitely stepped out. She's definitely standing in her own light, her own spotlight, and she should appreciate that, and she should continue to take those risks and be open to being uncomfortable to achieve the goals that she has for herself. All right? So, again, learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Now, taking risks, believe it or not, will actually help you overcome your fear of failing. If you would just take the risk. You know why? Because when you take risks of any kind, you are going to fail in some situations. Life is ups and downs, successes and failures, disappointments and satisfaction. It's happiness and it's sorrow. It's a contrast of life. And so if you want to be one to say, you know what, I really want to kind of get over, you know, this fear of falling on my face or making a fool of myself or not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing. Call fear or failure— I'm sorry, call failure anything you want in any configuration that you want, but overcoming it is a matter of you taking those chances, taking those risks, and either succeeding or failing, learning from the lessons, as well as being grateful and learning from the blessings that come as a result of it. I read a quote from Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post, and she wrote that failure is not the opposite of success, but a stepping stone to success. So think about that, because it's true. Failure is not the opposite of success. You don't have to fail or succeed. You succeed, and yet you might just have to sidestep. I call it misstep as opposed to failing. You might misstep, or in her case, have a stepping stone towards success, because no one succeeds without it. No one succeeds without failing in some way, shape, or form. So you have to just embrace that and kind of Go out in the world and say, you know what, I'm going to fail today at something because I'm willing to take the chance to take on a new challenge, a new opportunity, a new adventure, a new learning, a new something. Embrace it as opposed to running, run fearful of it. Okay, now we're not going to, we're not going to take a break because I want to make sure I can get this next section in, and if you are or have an opportunity to have a notepad and pen, this might be a good time for you to just make a note of this process that you could be taking to really just quell that rumbling, that anxiety, that stress of taking those chances and really embrace is finding those opportunities, finding those adventures, finding those challenges, finding those lessons, finding those failings, and being open to them. So basically it's your risk-taking process, and it pretty much looks like this. Now we talk a lot at Shedding the Bitch about getting out of your head and making decisions, making plans, plans, taking action, opening your mouth logically as opposed to emotionally. So, if we keep things in our head and let them run around and bang into each other within, you know, between our two ears, it'll just stay very emotional, very anxiety-ridden, very stressful, very scary. Now, it could be very exciting. It could be very tingling or, you know, butterflies. At the same time, for most of us when it comes to risk-taking, it's the former. It's that anxiety. It's that stress. It's that nerves. It's that guttural gut, you know, choking. So, what you want to do is just approach it very logically. As opposed to emotionally. So it means getting it out of your head and onto a piece of paper or onto a whiteboard or into a conversation with someone like myself or a peer or a boss or a colleague of some sort. You want to really simply— whatever that opportunity, that chance, that risk you're looking at, you're considering, you want to define it. What is it? What is it? How does it feel? What does it look like? What does it mean to you? You want to say, once you've defined it, you know, maybe it is taking that job overseas, or maybe it is buying a business, or getting into that relationship, or asking for that next promotion. You know, clearly define it in as much detail as you can. So it becomes very almost tangible that, you know, you can envision it. You can see it. You can hear it. You can taste it. You can feel it. You get all of your tactile and emotional feelings toward it, yet at the same time the emotional piece of it, of you being scared or anxious or stressed about it, that goes away because the fact that you're getting your hands around it, you're getting a really clear idea, focus, clarity around what this risk is and isn't. And then what you want to do is say, okay, so here's the risk. Some might look at it— I look at these things as the opportunity, the adventure, the chance. And then here are the pros and cons of it. Here is, you know, all the things I'll benefit from. Here are all the things that will make my life better, will make me better, will make everyone around me better, will enhance, enrich, empower, embolden, whatever those things are. Here are all the pros of my taking this risk. Now, of course, once you've defined the pros— and I always say define your pros first— 'Cause what you wanna do is you wanna feel that energy, use that energy that you're going to gain as a result of living in that positivity, living in that benefit, living in that impact. And then you wanna look at the cons and you wanna do it very logically, just simply saying, what is the negative impact it could have on my money, on my family, on my relationships, on my spirituality, on my— on my livelihood, all the different things. What are those cons? But what I want you to look at is ultimately underneath that, so you have pros in one column, cons in the other. Underneath those, you then have this thing that runs across the page that says, what is the impact of this should I not take the chance, should I not take the risk? Because most of the time we will define the impact of not doing something, even if it means investing money or if it means moving or those sacrifices, that it ultimately will shine a light on the impact that it has even to your dreams and even to your aspirations, your hopes, your wants. And you need to be honest and upfront front about that because you want to be fair to yourself that you're not just going to push something aside, not take that risk, and lose that passion. You lose that rumbling, lose those butterfly feelings, lose that excitement. If I ran away from my screenwriting because of the rejections or because I didn't know how to do it or for a number of other reasons, I would lose just the love that I now have for that technique, for that storytelling, for that emotional experience that the audience would have as a result of, you know, my taking that risk, my taking that chance. So think about the impact it would have on you—no one else—on you should you not pursue that risk, pursue that opportunity, adventure, or chance. And then define for yourself against those cons, define for yourself solutions should this risk go south, you know, all of a sudden implode on you. All right, so what is the worst-case scenario? What is, you know, gonna be that outcome, and what can I do to mitigate it or to totally eliminate it or just to overcome it and move on? When I, you know, because that simply comes down to when I do fail, What am I going to do to get myself back up? Because again, the difference between success and someone having a stepping stone is how you respond to it, how you get up and keep moving forward. So you define what those risks are, you define what those, you know, factors could be, what could that worst-case scenario be, and then you come up with solutions to it. You come up with mitigating factors, ways that you're going to be able to to overcome it. And through all of those steps, you're going to be empowered and boldened because now you're armed with knowledge and with information that you can logically and completely make a decision regarding that situation, regarding that opportunity, that adventure, or that chance. And then you need to own it. It's one thing to kind of have all that knowledge in front of you, make that decision, and then deflect or blame or excuse away the outcome or the situation that you're in as a result of making the decision. What you need to do is you need to accept it and own it, and whatever that outcome is, that outcome is. But based on the planning that you've done thus far and this process that you're now adopting, as your risk-taking process, you can now own it and accept it and live with whatever transpires or whatever comes about. Make sense? Risk-taking is a huge opportunity, huge way to elevate your success in achieving your goals and your dreams. And I hope I made it easier or at least more logical for you, and I'd love to hear what your outcomes are as a result of it. So for everybody here at Shutting the Bitch Radio, we'll look forward to having you right here next week, Tuesday at noon Eastern time. We're going to be talking to Joe Pichie about decision-making, time management, and prioritization, and he is a great, inspiring, informative expert in the field, and I look forward to having him, so stay tuned for Joe Pichie. Next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Have a good day, everybody.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at SheddingtheBitch.com. See you next week.