Is "Bitch" Becoming a Positive Word?

One out. Well, happy, happy Tuesday everyone! How are you? It's a glorious spring day in April, and of course I'm coming live from Atlanta this particular week. I'll be out and about to a couple of other different locations over the next couple months. Thank God for vacations and sometimes for business getaways. Because it just gets me out of the swirl that sometimes I get myself in. And what you might get yourself in, since this is Shedding the Bitch Radio, we talk about anything and everything to do with how do you get those things out of your heart and head that are holding you back or keeping you unfocused or just simply creating some chaos in order for you to then find and create and accelerate all the riches you want in life. So I'd love to hear from you. You can call in at 1-818-572-2910. You can listen to this live or in the recordings, both audio and video, if you go to YouTube, the YouTube channel Shedding the Bitch, and you'll be able to see my lovely little face for most of the radio shows. Which brings me to an apology to everyone out there in my Shedding the Bitch world, and that is Last week's program was to be recorded, of which it didn't do. I seem to be having a lot of technical issues these days, and those of you who are involved with my webinar series or my group coaching, it seems like all of that misalignment of the planets that had been occurring, I want to say at the beginning of the year, seems to have followed me into April. But I'm working through them. I'm shedding those technical bitches, as I say, and moving on and making sure now that I have multiple mechanisms in order for you to be able to share and get yourself involved with the movement around shedding the bitches. So I'm excited to be here on this glorious day, and wherever you are, morning, noon, or night, And I welcome you to kind of join in on the dialogue. Because I'll tell you what, right now I could have you all lighting up my screen and covering the next hour yourselves. Because I'll be honest with you, I am tired. And I've been up every morning pretty much around 5:30, 6 o'clock. I started the, oh, the crazy P90X program that many of you even have supported and commented on my perception of this extreme workout program, but I started it a week ago Monday, so I'm into my second week, and it is not only physically draining, but it's, uh, emotionally draining as well. And being up at 5:30, 6 o'clock to fit the programs in doesn't help much either, especially because I'll be then up till, uh, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock. And just going at it all day long. As a result of all that, that energy flowing through my body, I just feel like I'm constantly on a lot of caffeine, which I don't drink coffee, and yet I do drink green tea, so that could be adding, adding to the whole situation. But anyway, so I don't know what kind of challenge you're on for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, whatever the case might be. Maybe you found one at the beginning of the year that you wanted to kind of take throughout the year. I've been waiting probably for a good year and a half to kind of find the program that I wanted to do, the challenge that I was willing to make a lot of compromise and sacrifices for and to feel a lot of pain around. And I was doing P90X, I want to say, 4 or 5 years ago, actually. And I'm just coming back around to it to kind of mix up my routine. Because right now, up until this program, Charlie, my lovely dog, many of you may see on the videos or hear in the background every once in a while, he gets me out for a long walk. But at the same time it wasn't the physical, I guess, challenge is all I can think of that I used to do when I was either cycling for hundreds of miles or lifting weights or whatever the case might be. So Tony, P90X, you're kicking my butt! But I love all the support and the motivation that I get on Facebook and Twitter and into my email. So thank you very much for those of you who are my buddies, as they call it, or if you're just out there feeling sorry for me and you're wanting to kind of just keep me motivated. It is working, and I am preparing for a beach trip. Again, I don't know what you're doing this summer or spring and what maybe rewards you're giving yourself as a result of the challenge you might be on. But every year, Mother's Day week, my 5 sisters and I and my mother go down to the beach. And actually, I shouldn't even say that anymore because now any of our nieces or in-laws, I guess, women in-laws that are 21 and older can also join us. So we have a couple that have joined us over the last couple years. And then Lauren, happy, happy birthday! It was yesterday she turned 21. So if her crazy schedule allows for it, she might come down and become a jungle chick, as we call it. If not, then we'll look forward to her joining us on a future event. But I look forward to this week every year, and so the P90X Challenge is also getting me into shape. Not necessarily to put a bikini on and go to the beach, but at least to feel good in my own skin every day. And then it wouldn't be bad in a nice little pair of shorts and a t-shirt that I feel that I look good. So again, that's my reward of my vacation as a result of all the hard work that I've been doing since last May. But today what I really thought we would talk about is some dialogue that's been going on with me and to me, quite honestly, online. And it's all been around whether or not, the question being whether or not bitch, the word, is now being considered popular or considered positive. And not sure that I've mentioned that before because I was called upon to contribute to an article online and they were kind of trying to answer that question. And I flat-out told them that no, it wasn't necessarily being positioned in a positive way. Yes, the airwaves have opened up to allowing you to, to use the word, except I think news, the broadcast news, but I plan to change that with my book and with the dialogue and the media placements that I'm working on. But anyway, so my response was I don't think that the new shows like GCB or the B in Apartment 20 23, or Desperate Housewives, or any number of the Housewives of Beverly Hills and Topeka, Kansas, whatever. I don't know that they are necessarily making it a positive role model or a positive word. I just think they're still using it to provoke a lot of drama and attention, which I will openly admit that when I first came up with the title for my book Shedding the Corporate Bitch, I didn't mind the fact that it created a bit of a stir. I didn't mind that it was provocative. Yet at the same time, I've made it clear since day one that that word in my world, and now in yours, is meant to be positive and/or it's meant to have people look inward as opposed to using it outwardly. So I'd love to know your thoughts, whether it's here live at 1-818-572-2910, or if you want to throw a note out on Facebook, Twitter, or my website sheddingthebitch.com. Regardless of how you might want to contribute, I'd love to know what you think. Is the word bitch simply becoming acceptable, but yet still is being used in that negative bullying, cruel way. And if you say yes to that, then I love the fact that you are a part of the Shedding the Bitch movement, because it is my goal, objective, and passion to get that word changed and get people to stop using it. And especially, it is predominantly used on women, but even young girls, even guys. But at the same time, getting it to be not such an abusive, cruel world— word, but yet it being used to kind of make someone reflect on their own situation and maybe their own inner turmoil that they're feeling that's causing them to lash out, either by calling someone else a bitch, whether it's under their voice due to jealousy, or if it's because they're doing it in— and meaning purposely to be cruel. I came across a quote. I hope I can find it really quick because I kept it up. I came across a quote that kind of touched on this whole thing that made me kind of come back to that question that I was asked. And it's basically stated— it's more of a fact that someone posted on Facebook— but haters don't really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be. And that bottom line is what we try to address with Shedding the Bitch and with any of the programs that we have, especially our current Shift to Riches webinar series that you can always check out even though we're kind of 3 sessions in or going to our 3rd session. They're all recorded, video, audio, materials, everything, and you can certainly join in at any point in time. But I loved this image and fact that I found on Facebook today because it's a strong enough statement to make you want to think and make you stop in your tracks. And it is very true. And of course, you know, you all know my story of how I was that type of person for 25 years, and yet I was also the type of person that I really didn't like myself too much. And that's why I kind of put on this persona of a bitch in order to kind of deflect anyone really finding out who or how I really thought about myself internally. But haters don't really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be. So, you know, as of today, as of this moment in time, whether you're joining us for the first time or you've listened in on a regular basis, I want you to keep that in mind. Because whether you are watching from an entertainment perspective these shows such as GCB and The Bitch in Apartment 23 or any of the other ones, I certainly have nothing against them. I can't watch a lot of them just because I don't want that drama and that angst in my life, but at the same time, I have nothing against them. It is entertainment. That's what it's meant to be. I just, you know, would caution them and the viewers to just kind of make sure that you separate reality to, you know, behind the curtain, so to speak. But because that is so true, the people that are taking things out on you, the people that aren't supporting your dreams, the people that are telling you you can't do it and all that kind of lovely stuff, is it's simply because they're projecting onto you what they either wish they had or don't like about themselves or a number of other bitches, as we call them. So I just— that hit home so much to me that I kind of wanted to bring that out. And then I love this other one that I found. Again, it was this morning, I believe, and it basically said, I told God to protect me from my enemies. And I started losing friends. Do you get it? I told God to protect me from my enemies, and as a result, dot dot dot, I'll throw that in myself, I started losing friends. And basically what that's really saying is the fact that if you want something, put it out there. And if you are a spiritual person, if you believe in God or whomever it is that you believe in, then you're going to know that he'll bring you, she will bring you anything it is that you want. And you can put that in, in the way of, I want a glass of iced tea, I'm holding a glass of iced tea, and therefore, you know, you can— he nudges you or she nudges you to get up and do it. That's kind of a simple example. Or it could be the fact that you want to stop having the ugliness and the drama and the, and the nasty people in your life, and therefore he or she makes it happen by kind of you moving away physically or emotionally from your friends, and therefore friends are starting to drop away. It's an experience that I certainly can relate to, and maybe a number of you can, and I'd love to hear your story, 1-818-572-2910. But I can relate to it in that as I did start peeling, you know, back the onion or shedding away, you know, my inner bitches of insecurity, intimidation, not feeling worthy, or part of the group, so to speak. Those were my little hang-ups. As I started to get rid of those things and become more confident and more powerful and more in love with myself, quite honestly, I started to move away and started to kind of repel, so to speak, positively, all those negative influences in my life. And that included friends. That included people closest to me. No family members, thank God, if any of you are listening. But definitely long-term friendships, long-term mentors, long-term people in my life that, uh, you know, that I spent time with or I invested in in some way, shape, or form. And the next thing you know, and I've talked about it before, I found myself sitting on the couch by myself, literally and here the large circle of friends was no longer, and I had to pretty much reinvent myself or reinvent or re-attract those things that I wanted in my life, including the people closest to me. So I just love those statements, and I love those, those facts that I was able to find. And thank you very much for those of you who contributed. Those things onto Facebook. I love Facebook and Twitter and a lot of the social networks because of that, people sharing their thoughts and their beliefs and their values via whether it's a quote from somebody else or something that they've kind of dug up within themselves. And it made me really kind of think through both the question of is bitch being kind of made popular or positive And it also made me think through whether or not the influences such as the various shows and TV and film around nasty women and men, if whether or not there was a change coming down the pipe or the road anytime soon. I would probably say yes to both of those. I think, and you can let me know your opinion, but I definitely think people are demanding more positive influences in their life, more positive role models, more positive TV shows or TV talk, whatever the case might be, more positive news. There's a channel here in Atlanta who has definitely moved away from the drama, so to speak, other than for very relevant, pertinent, important, you know, stories, to really wanting to help and create change in the community. And I would love to give them credit, and it's— I'm drawing a blank on the group, and I'll apologize for that. But I, you know, the broadcast has moved to definitely reporting the violence that might be surrounding us and impacting us, but while at the same time putting a positive, informative spin on it. So I definitely think that's happening. I think you're demanding it, and I would ask you to continue to do so. But at the same time, I think, you know, this— the want and desire for drama and chaos and kind of the ability to look into the mirror of people that we aren't And sometimes we like to see nastiness in other people. I get more women than I care to hear come to me and say, "I wish I was more of a bitch." And therefore, their ability to kind of turn on the TV or the radio or the internet and see other people kind of living that type of persona, they can then, whether they want to learn from it and kind of use it as a a coach, I would hope not. But if they can at least live through them vicariously, then they have an opportunity to, to kind of see what life is like in that, in that persona. For me, I'd rather the positive, I'd rather the, the informative, the educational, the entertaining, the inspiration, the motivation kind of a lot of words that I, for years, never wanted to touch. You know, I have a program called It's a How-To, Not a Woo-Woo, because I tend to kind of— not in a disrespectful way, but I've always looked at personal development as kind of woo-woo, like, you know, soft and cuddly and not real. And yet I've learned over the last 3 or 4 years everything that happens in the head and the heart which isn't tangible, is probably the most real thing that we have in our lives, and it's the one thing that we can control, is what goes in our head and our heart. So my whole attitude, my head, has shifted into really understanding that we need some woo-woo in our lives in order to stay positive and focused and energized around our dreams and our goals. At the same time, we just need good informative support and coaching and advice and direction in order to leverage that woo-woo. So, it's a how-to, not a woo-woo is simply saying that we want to make sure that you're always getting kind of advice, education, specific training and tips that you can actually use in your life right now. Right here and right now. So again, you're on Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas, and we are just talking everything about bitch. You know, we've been talking about whether or not that word being more acceptable, definitely, in the— in society. Is it being spun into a positive way, or is it still being used for drama and angst and all that kind of provocation. And I'm more on the latter belief, and yet I'm looking for Shedding the Bitch to change it to the former where it is becoming more positive or more kind of instructional in that it's used inwardly to look at your own demons, so to speak, as opposed to being projected onto somebody else in a cruel, manipulative, or nasty way. So, and then we also been just, you know, kind of touching on what we really can do as a community to kind of demand and want and request more positive influences in our life, whether that's