It's 2017...Happy New Years. This is YOUR Year with ASK Bernadette

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone, or should I say happy New Year's! Happy 2017! How many of you are excited that all the holidays are over and there's a new year in front of you? I can only say I am so excited. Ah, yes, actually, I loved the holiday season. It went at a great pace. I didn't get myself stressed. I kind of leveraged hanging with my friends, hanging with a bunch of dogs. If you were following me on my main profile page. I was shooting videos and pictures of the 4, 5, 6— I don't know how many dogs I had in this house over the holiday weekend, or holiday week and a half, I guess. So it was awesome, but at the same time, I'm also ready to kind of turn a new leaf, turn a page, turn a chapter, turn this year from 2016, which was an awesome year, and I want to thank each and every one of you, and I wish I could do it individually, for just a great year. Just all the support, all the excitement, all the engagement, all the involvement across the board, on the show, on Facebook, on Twitter, face-to-face, email, on a stage. It did not matter. I really do appreciate each and every one of you, and thank you for your ongoing support and engagement with the Shedding Bitch community. And we're gonna continue that as we go into 2017 and really amp up the ways that we could be engaging and supporting and motivating each other to go after whatever goal, whatever dream that we have for ourselves while we're realizing the pains and pushing through those bitches while at the same time really relishing in the joys that we are finding within our life. So, I just want to thank each and every one of you. But I do have some special shoutouts, I'll call them, that I would love to do and take a minute or two to just thank a few people that really saw me through a lot of highs and lows this year. And yet, never with those lows never made them seem as if they were just outright devastating or hurtful. They always kind of propped me up. And that's all we could ever ask for from people is to allow us to go through our journeys while at the same time be there to hold ourselves up and even if need be prop ourselves up so we know that we have a helping hand along with us. So you know who you are. I never even have to say thank you. You just bring so much joy into my life, but I want to. So a shout-out to my longtime business coach and now friend and mentor, Joan C. Curtis. She's a 7— 7— 7— what do you call it? 7-book author, 7-time author, 5-star author, award-winning author, and she for 9 years has taken time out to really lend on a weekly basis her guidance and support and friendship to me and keep me sane because sometimes I just feel like I'm losing my mind. Can you relate to that? And then of course my sisters, but specifically Peg who is again always there for me and definitely propped me up on a couple of occasions this past year as I really continue to to work and develop and provide out what I think are life-changing and life opportunities within the Shedding the Bits community. And this year is going to kind of show those results. And so stay tuned for that. That's another story. And then a longtime colleague that I always appreciate, and I just hope that he understands it, Michael Moore, he's known as the Rainmaker Storyteller here in Atlanta, Georgia. For 8 years, 9 years now. He is always looking out for me and always has my back and always is coming up with new ideas and opportunities for me. And I was so pained by something I overlooked when it came to his life and his business a couple of months ago, and it really, really, really hit home to me that in this new year in this new life, I need to really be appreciating all the generosity and all the gifts that so many people bestow upon me. And so I just need to kind of, you know, give a special shout out to him because he's been a real champion in my life. And we're going to talk more and more about champions as we move forward in the Shedding the Bitch community. There's Lisa Cox. And I'll do a shout out to Lisa and actually her whole gang of actors and directors and producers. 'Cause many of you know that I've turned my book, "Shunning the Corporate Bitch," into a screenplay. That's been an adventure of its own. And that's really what— I needed a lot of propping up this past year. And if you ever wanna hear that story, ping me, post it on Twitter or Facebook, I'd be happy to share. Won't take your time here. Except Lisa, a fellow screenwriter, actress, Um, she really went out of her way to kind of pull opportunities together for me to get my story, get my script out there, and I genuinely appreciate that. Of course, there's Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services, who is online anxiously awaiting any collaboration or engagement with you on Twitter and Facebook. So she's also just kind of gone with the flow and, and adapted to the changes that we've kind of instituted here and all the kind of the testing of tools and techniques and systems. And you've experienced it as well out there in the Shedding the Bitch community. And she's kept me sane and all together in that respect. And I have a few friends, specifically Mary Lee, if you ever listen to my program, because she's constantly working. I just want to do a shout out to her, her and her friendship and just her being there when I have needed an ear or a shoulder to celebrate with or to cry with. She certainly has heard it all this past year. And then, of course, my dog park community. You know who you are, guys and gals. And that is my retreat. That is my refuge, as I have mentioned here before. And so, we have a beautiful community there. And those, people have, and I've told you about in the past, tried to disrupt that community. It hasn't worked. So I just want to, uh, say a special thank you to all of you. And many of you do listen to the program— Sydney and Peter and, um, Daniel and Stephanie. Uh, there's a big group of people and their puppies. And so we just have really built a nice community there. Uh, as I mentioned, we have a lot going on this new year. And I'll go through this quickly so we can get into your career, business, and life questions that you have for me during this Ask Bernadette episode. And it's one episode. I am taping it, and we'll split it up and get it online. It's one that you might want to not only listen to but download and save, because it's all going to be around 2017 and how you can make this year as rich and as prosperous and fulfilling as you want it to be. All right? And along with that, As I mentioned, I've been working hard and diligently to kind of respond to your request to really understand my Shift to Riches Formula, my process, the process I used to go through my own journey, through my own shedding. And so I've been packaging that up in a variety of different programs, different tools, and you're gonna start seeing that being deployed through Facebook, through Twitter, through our radio program, on sheddingthebitch.com. So if there is ever a time for you to subscribe, to follow, to engage, to be part of our private Facebook group, because as we move forward, that group is going to become more and more exclusive, which means closed, because it's going to be for those people that are really serious about achieving riches in their life. So our private Facebook group is Shift to Riches. If you go to facebook.com/group/shifttoriches, and I'll be sure Deborah posts that out on Twitter and Facebook. Bernadette Boas Facebook. Um, go there, make sure you join now, because as we start deploying some of these programs and I really find those individuals who are serious about finding themselves and finding what it is that they want out of this one life they live, this one life that goes really fast, then those are going to be the people that are going to be part of this private Facebook group. So be Be sure that you're looking out for that. I also posted, though I'm going to move it from our general Shedding the Bitch Facebook page onto our private group, so you won't get access to it, um, after tomorrow unless you go join the private Facebook group. I posted a goal setting template that you could be using, and we're going to talk about goal setting today on the program. So you can either go out there right now, pull it down, and follow or you can just go out, but just be sure to do it by day end tomorrow, or join our Facebook page. And I'm gonna start deploying a lot of different tools, templates, resources that you're gonna be able to use as you go into the year, whether it's for your career, you own your own business, or any aspect of your life. All right? So as I mentioned, today's topic is all about asking me whatever questions you have, discussing any challenge that you have, Maybe you have a story that you just want to share, and I'll glean something out of it, because when we tell stories, there's kind of more that sits underneath that. But today is about you. Continue to gather and prod and ask a lot of you a lot of questions so I can make sure that we have that opportunity to address them if they are in any way, shape, or form keeping you back, let alone propelling you forward. All right, so I want you to use the risk, risk I've been talking all morning developing these programs for you, so I literally am just, you know, spent as far as even saliva in my mouth. Anyway, you don't need to hear that, too much information. So our rich tags that you'd be tagging with us on Twitter especially and on Facebook is going to be #AskBernadette, real simple, #Tips and 2017. And so we'll, and we'll always reference that it's a kind of an Ask Bernadette question, uh, of which then I'm going to provide you answers to. All right, and your rich question that I want to leave you with as we transition into a commercial, we'll come back and dive into all of this. The, the rich question I want you to think about and answer for yourself, and if you don't get my answer of it by the end of this program, then I want you to either reach out to me personally, Bernadette Boas at sheddingthebits.com, or go to Facebook and Twitter and post it there, tag me, and I'll be sure to get with you about whatever question, story, or challenge that you had, okay? So what is the one challenge, one, what is the one struggle, the one pain, the one bitch that you have right now today that unless you address it and find a solution to it, it's going to keep you trugging and drugging and struggling to achieve your goal. I didn't mean to say drugging, by the way, and please don't. But what is it that one bitch, that one insecurity, that one fear, that one uncertainty, that one negative, whatever it might be, that is keeping you from really pursuing, let alone achieving your goal? I want you to Ask that of yourself, answer it, and then if I don't give you any solutions and tips by the time we are done today, I want you to come back to me and allow me the opportunity to help you and serve you and give you that— those answers and some tips along the way. All right, so in the meantime, we're going to take a brief break, and when we get back, we're diving into Ask Bernadette. So we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, control, confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, and as I mentioned before we went to break, this is Ask Bernadette, what your career business questions might be and providing you the tips, advice, and sometimes tough love that you might need in order to get a solution, get some advice, whatever the case might be. All right. As I mentioned, you can always go to Facebook or Twitter and post that story question or challenge, and I will answer them throughout the month. As soon as I see them, I will answer them to you, but at the same time, we bring them right here on the first Tuesday of every month on Shedding the Bitch Radio, and we drill into them even further and actually give you an opportunity to even call in and discuss it right then and there with me. Now understand, you never need to share your name if you don't care to. There's many people out there that would prefer kind of staying under, um, the COVID so to speak, and that is perfectly fine. Uh, I just want to make sure that you're getting the the answers to the questions that you have. And I would hope that you want that for yourself as well. All right, so it is a new year, it is a new month, it's even just a new day. And if you listen to me at all, you'll always hear me say that it doesn't matter if it's a Monday, if it's a May, if it's a November, You have every opportunity at any minute of any given day to set your goals, readjust your goals, trash the old ones and start anew if you need to. But you always have an opportunity to start anew again. So, the one question that I often get is not how to adjust or how to handle defining their goals. It's really, how do I even start? Where do I even start? And what makes up a goal? Because I see a lot of things out there that say, oh, a dream, or a dream without a plan is just a wish, or a wish without action is just a dream. And what does all that mean? Well, what that simply means is, unless you do have a very focused plan, you're going to struggle in knowing what it is that you need to do, when it is that you need to do it, and whether or not you're being successful at it toward obtaining your goal. So the question I'll often get is, how do I define my goals? And this is the perfect time of year to do it for two reasons. One is closing out last year, which is also a question that we're going to answer, but more so looking at as if it's a fresh piece of paper, what it is you want to be accomplishing in this year. So how do you first go about defining your goals? Well, I want you to do two things. One is you can go to Facebook, and I had posted a Shift to Riches goal planning template which will lead you through a process for creating your goals. Second thing is you can just Google SMART goal setting. And SMART is an acronym which we will talk about. So, and my RICH plan template touches on and leverages that same approach to define your goals. Because again, like I said, you have to be articulate and detailed and specific about what it is that you are looking to achieve. Only then can you really define the actions and take the steps that you need in order to chip away achieving that goal. And why I say that is, take for instance, the time of year always leads to weight, weight goals, weight resolutions. And so someone will say to me, well, Bernadette, I want to lose, you know, 30 pounds, or I want to lose weight. Let's leave it at even that general, or I want to earn more money. Or I want a bigger business. And I'll say, all right, well, how big? Because what will tell you if it's big unless you've established a baseline? What will tell you that you've lost a lot of weight unless you've established what that means? If you want a lot of money, a lot of money to me might be $10, a lot of money to you might be $10 million. So that requires just more specifics, more detail. So that SMART acronym helps you go, go through that, and we're going to walk through that together. All right, so SMART again means specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, or some people say realistic, and time-bound. All right, that's your SMART acronym. Now let's stick with the weight, shall we? And then we'll move to a business example. So say you want to lose weight. Well, again, what is specifically you want to lose? I want to lose 20 pounds. All right, so that's kind of— let's stick with that as far as your specific. You can even use that as your measure, that you've lost 20 pounds. So your goal is to lose weight, your measurement is 20 pounds, and your actions are what do you need to do in order to lose weight. Well, maybe you need to buy sneakers. Maybe you need to buy a gym pass. Maybe you need to block out time on your calendar in order to get to the gym, look over the class schedule, running schedule if you're joining a group. What are all those different things that you need to do, actions you need to take in order to pursue that goal of losing weight, of which it is 20 pounds that you've set out to do? Now, we have to determine if it's relevant or realistic, and what that really means is have you lost weight before? Have you been on a diet? Have you been a regular gym member, so to speak? Have you had a discipline and a habit of doing what you need to do to eat right, exercise, whatever the case might be? Is 20 pounds relevant for you? If you are 120 pounds right now and you want to lose weight, is it relevant or realistic that you are going to lose 20 pounds. If you are 250 pounds and you want to lose 20 pounds, is that relevant and realistic? Obviously, there is answers, very easy answers to both of those scenarios, right? And that is how kind of simple setting goals really is. And once you get into the discipline and understanding of it, you are constantly able to establish them very easily. Now, the next thing would be time-bound. There is no goal that is a true goal without a deadline or a timetable as to when you want to achieve it. Because if you tell me, "Well, I want to lose 20 pounds, but I don't know by when." Well, how do you measure whether or not you are successful and whether or not you are achieving your goal? And again, that relevancy and realism will come into play if you tell me that you have a wedding next month and you want to lose 20 pounds. Is that realistic? Is that relevant based on your timetable? Is it relevant that you want to lose it in 6 months or a year? An end date. Because if you do not have an end date, then you are just daydreaming and wishing away, even as you are taking steps. How are you going to determine if you are successful if you do not have an end date that is aligned to the specific, measurable actions you are going to take that are realistic and relevant to you? See how simple that is? So let's take it to the workplace. Let's say you want to get a raise and you deserve a raise in your opinion. So your goal is to get a raise. Your measurement is what is that raise? Well, that raise might be, I want a 5 to 10% increase. Now I would get you to be more specific. So let's say 8%. Let's meet in the middle. And then you also, along with that raise, that also means that you maybe want a promotion tied to it. That's how you're going to get your raise. So use— your measurement might be that you are given an advancement to a certain position. So you're getting more and more specific about what that raise actually looks like. And then the actions you need to take could be, I needed to write up my own evaluation, and I need to kind of build my case with my evidence and with the achievements that I've had and the accomplishments that I had and the awards that I've won and all the other things that show that I deserve or and/or earned this raise that I want. So all the actions you might need to, you know, put on your action list that you need to talk to your boss, you need to gather testimonials or feedback from other people around you. This could be relevant for those of you who also have your own business, all right, and you want to raise your rates to your clients for your products or services. These are all the same type of things that you could be doing. So what are those actions, and are they relevant? Is it realistic? So if you say you want an 8 to 10% raise— we said we kind of solidified on 8— and, um, you have— are going to take these certain actions, but maybe in those actions, for instance, you're not really talking to the decision maker. So you either need to add that action, or if you're avoiding it or scared of it or intimidated by it, you never do, then it might not be realistic that you're going to get that raise. If it's 8% but the company's only ever given 3, it might not be relevant or realistic. If it's, um, that your performance is good, maybe even excellent but not exceptional, and that exceptional is where they get an 8 to 10% raise. Again, is it relevant and realistic? And this requires you to be truthful to yourself as well. And then, of course, there's time. When will you do this? So, for instance, it's January, perfect time, because performance reviews should be kind of being executed. And sadly, sometimes it goes into April and May. However, uh, You know, so when do you want to ensure that either your performance review, uh, creates that raise for you, or you need to take extra steps and do some things to then ask and kind of go up the ladder, so to speak, or go to your clients, go to your vendors, uh, gain testimonials at, you know, raise those rates, test them out and make them solid, whatever it is from a corporate or entrepreneurial perspective. So that's your timetable will dictate or be dictated even by your process at work. Maybe your performance reviews aren't until April, it's January, you really can't go and ask for it before because they're expecting that it's going to be done in April, but what could you be doing between now and then? And then you just need to put April as your timetable as opposed to putting January as your timetable to make it relevant and realistic. Does that make sense? So, if you truly want a goal that you are going to be focused and energized and clear and determined to take action on, then be sure it is as detailed and as specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and time-bound for you. And you will be able to chip away at it and even deal with the roadblocks and eventually get where you want to go, or maybe you have to compromise. Or maybe you, your priorities change and you kind of move on from that goal and set another one. All right, again, if you have any questions, if you need kind of a guide, go to our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page, especially before day end tomorrow, and you can get access to that rich plan template that will guide you through how to set your goals. After that, you'll need to join our private Facebook group, which is Shift to Riches on Facebook, and get access to it there. All right, I hope that helped you and everyone else that has that same question, because I'm expecting over the next couple weeks it will be the top question that people are asking me as I go to see my clients and go out and do a few speaking engagements, um, that I have lined up. All right, okay, uh, we are going to talk time management next. And, um, we're then going to talk assessments, and we're going to talk about how to ask for what it is that you want, because a number of you, uh, struggle in really, uh, going in there unemotionally as opposed to emotionally when it comes to asking for that raise, for that promotion, for that client, for that relationship, whatever the case might be. So when we get back, we'll dive into some time management questions that will help you take these goals and be as productive as possible executing on them. All right, we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, this is Ask Bernadette today on Shedding the Bitch Radio. This is where I have collected your questions, stories, and challenges, and I provide you tips and advice and sometimes Tough Love, both on Facebook throughout the month or whenever it is that you post it, as well as on the first Tuesday of every month. We bring them, those questions, right here, drill into them even deeper, and give you an opportunity even to call in or chat in and get your questions answered. All right, we want to talk about time management. So the Ask Bernadette question is how do I get everything I need to get done in a single day, let— and a week and a month, but how do I get it done when I have so many kind of balls up in the air? This is a very common question and a very common challenge, especially in this world that we live in today. I don't know what goes on in your life, but in any given day there are so many distractions and opportunities for interruptions that it's almost impossible to actually lay out a plan and execute and complete it before the end of the day. And now I'm talking about the things that are, you know, allotted for one day. What can you do to be more productive, to gain about 250% more productivity out of your lifetime? There's one thing, and I'm really serious about this. And that is to time block your calendar. And what I mean by this, and I've been using this process, so to speak, for myself for years, and even now with my clients, and I know for a fact that you do this one little thing and you will gain productivity and you will gain, ah, kind of a breath of fresh air and less stress and more time to really do the things that you want to do. So time blocking is pretty much appointment setting. So you laid out and will be laying out maybe your 2017 goals. And then I suggest to my clients that you then take those year-long goals, break them into months, and then break those month goals into weeks. We all need something manageable. All right, because that's really what causes us a lot of the stress in trying to get too much done, is we are thinking that we need to be pursuing all of the things that we've set out to do all at the same time with everything that is required in order to achieve them. And I would tell you right now, stop doing that. Break that habit. Take your goals, break them into smaller increments, and allow yourself to take small steps and chip away in small chunks what it is you want to be accomplishing. And trust me, those little wins will provide you the momentum and the energy and the confidence to continue working toward them to where eventually you have completed and achieved that goal. So, you have a week. And now it is Monday. And you determine based on those weekly goals that today what you need to do is X, Y, and Z. 3 things. I always tell people 3 things will keep you focused, will keep you energized, will keep you confident, and I will tell you why in a minute. So you define 3 things that you need to do on Monday, and you specifically say to yourself, OK, when am I going to focus on these 3 things? Not when, such as, oh, this morning or this afternoon or this evening, when I get off of work. No, it's specifically, for instance, we'll stick with that promotion and that advancement, and therefore you have to do your performance review. When are you going to sit down specifically? What hours, what minutes are you going to allot on your calendar today in order for you to remove all those distractions and focus on that one thing? And then you have the next thing is Well, I have a fitness goal, so I want to go, you know, to the gym because I want to lose 20 pounds by X date that you've defined. And some of those steps is that you need to go and buy sneakers because you don't have any new ones to go to the gym. So when are you going to do that? Specifically, when are you going to do that? You're going to work on your performance review at one certain time block, minutes and/or hours, and then you plan out when you're going to go to the store. Maybe you can do it during a lunch break. Maybe you can do it after work. Whatever the case might be, maybe you can take a break during the day. Plan it out as if it's an appointment. Treat it like an appointment, meaning take it seriously. Don't just blow it off because it's your goal and it hasn't, hasn't had anything to do with your work, your clients, your boss, your family. It's about you. Block it off and treat it like it's an appointment. And do that each and every day. You can even, as I do, I sit down on Sunday nights, look at my weekly goals, and block out my calendar for any given week. And yes, will things come up? Will things change? Will I not get, um, that webinar program I've been working on done the first couple hours I allotted, you know, first thing Monday morning? Ah, yes, it's true that I might not get it done. So what do I do? I look at my calendar, I see if I can move it into the afternoon or I have to move it into the next morning. Whatever the case might be, I then just shift and I make adjustments and I make changes. If you can learn to time block proactively, not as it's happening— though as it happens, it's not a bad thing. For instance, if all of a sudden you have something thrown on your desk and you whether it's family member or work, and you say, okay, I need to make sure I get this done, they gave me a deadline, and I need to plot out when I'm gonna have time and when I'm gonna focus on it. That's okay, because oftentimes life is going to create that type of reprioritization. But what I'd like you to do is start at the beginning of the week, or at least each morning, and have your goals already laid out, have the tasks that you need to do, 3 of them, is preferred for any given day, and plot out when you plan to actually sit down and work on them. And then treat it as an appointment and get it— not get done in that one session, but whatever you've plotted out, make sure you have the focus and the time and the energy around, um, completing that scope of work, as, as they, they'll call it. And that will, I guarantee you, provide you 2 times, 3 times the amount of productivity, and therefore breath and freedom, than just going at it from the seat of your pants. All right, so number 1 time management tip is time blocking. All right, so we're going to continue on so we can make sure we get as many of these questions answered for you as possible. So we want to talk about how can you assess yourself, or maybe experiences that you've had, or projects that you've been involved in both at home or at work. How can you properly assess and close out? For instance, right now people are assessing and closing out last year in order for them to really revamp what it is they want to work on and achieve this year. Well, the best way to do that— and excuse me for those of you watching on video, I'm needing to scratch my nose— um, what you simply do there is sit down, and I always recommend a journal or a notebook, not necessarily a piece of paper you can throw away, and Just simply write out what did you experience, what did you work on, what did you accomplish, what didn't you accomplish, what do you feel worked for you, what would you do differently, what would you continue doing, because if it's not broken you don't fix it, and What changes or what newness or what differences would you bring into now this new year? So it's really just a matter of sitting down and asking yourself a number of questions that will provide you an opportunity to close out the year, the month, the week, a project, a relationship, and really kind of almost bring it to closure because you want to be able to sit and honor what you have accomplished. But you also want to learn from maybe the challenges or the pains or the bitches that got in your way of getting where you wanted to with any particular project, initiative, or goal that you had set out for yourself. Now, you just made me think through this question. I will post another tool for you out on our Facebook page, and then Deborah can share it out on Twitter. I'll kind of quickly put together an assessment, a closeout, so to speak, document that you can use to have the questions posed to you, and you can use it to scribble in your journal what it is that, how you would respond to those questions. And that simply will give you some clarity as to what it is that you need to do next. All right, so to properly assess, it's just a matter of asking yourself a lot of easy and hard, a lot of fun and difficult, a lot of comfortable and uncomfortable questions so you're able to, uh, kind of capture it all, learn from it, and then close it out and move on. Because it's no good hanging in the past, and there's just too much learnings and opportunities to celebrate as well in the past. And yet now you need to focus on the, on the present and then the future. All right, I hope that helped all around. How can you assess and close out the year, as well as a project, a relationship, or anything else that you might need some closure on? All right, we're gonna take a brief break. I'm gonna sip on some water and scratch my nose, and when we get back, we're gonna continue. And it is that time of year, so people are always struggling with how to ask for what it is that they want, and we'll talk about that when we get back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, to confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at realtions@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Back everyone, today is Ask Bernadette. I am taking your questions, stories, and challenges and providing you some tips, advice, and sometimes tough love as to how you can handle that and pursue that, and if you need to resolve it or if you just need to learn and grow from it. So one big question I get, especially from women, is how do I properly ask for whether it's that raise or that promotion, that new client, or even ask for new pricing as far as your product or services, or even ask for a less price when you might be out there negotiating. The other day I was out helping a friend negotiate a car deal. And so she wanted me to come along in order to provide her some guidance and some support and a kick in the butt, that's for sure, when it comes to dealing with the haggling of, of negotiation. So I will first say to you that asking for what it is that you want is not a matter of technique. It's not even a matter of a that process, so to speak. It really comes down to your self-belief, whether or not you feel you deserve it, you've earned it. You, um, you know, in, in the case of a friend with a car, you don't want to get screwed from it, that you want to know that you're paying the price that it's worth. You're asking for the price of the product or service that it's worth. That you're deserving and earning and asking for that raise or promotion, it really comes down to whether or not you believe that you have the right to ask or that you've earned it. And why I say that is exactly that car dealer relationship. I, 8 years ago, while I was in the midst of all of my junk, all of my bitches just causing me to lash out on the world, it wasn't because I was actually confident or secure, or I knew who I really was, and that I felt like I earned it and deserved it. It was because of all the opposite of that. It was all because I questioned if I deserved it, if I earned it. I questioned my ability to, um, um, meet the expectations of whatever it was that I would be asking for. Not to say I didn't ask, but at the same time, I wasn't necessarily asking based on a good foundation. And I will tell you and hope to convince you that as you gain confidence and certainty and clarity and strength within yourself, you will question whether or not you earned it or deserved it, or you expect that you are going to be able to get the same price and the better price that someone else is going to get. You will question it. You will have that foundation, that grounding to say, you know what, I'm going to ask, because the only thing that they could do is say no. And at that point, then you are ready and able to leverage any process, tip, or technique that someone gives you, including myself, which I will right now. So first though, I want you to focus on the fact that you need to think about what is holding you back. Why are you even asking? And this is a question I get asked all the time across the board. I'm always asked about how do I go about getting a raise or a promotion or negotiating a better deal. It's a regular question because it screams that it's not that they don't know how, it's just that they don't feel comfortable or don't feel confident about going and doing it. So, first, work on your mindset, work on your, your belief systems. And we don't have time to get into all of that right now.. And then you can leverage this process. And it's something, again, I use myself, always have, with my clients. And that's really the idea of planning, preparing, and practicing, the 3 Ps. So, what I mean by that is, anytime you have a difficult situation, or you're uncomfortable, or you're unsure, about how to handle, handle something, the best thing to do is play it out, is to plan it out. What could happen, uh, and what kind of— what are the steps that will happen when you go to ask for that promotion? So let's start from the beginning. Well, in order to ask, I need to actually pick up the phone and/or email and schedule an appointment with whomever it is that is going to be the decision maker here. And that can be very intimidating and insecure for some people. But you have to even take that first step. So then you can think through, okay, so I do that, and then what if they were to say, I want to talk of— or what is it that you want to talk about? Why do you want this meeting? Well, then you can kind of plan out your response to that. So now you're really thinking through all the scenarios as to what can happen, good, bad, or indifferent, as you're pursuing this ask, as I'll call it. So now they ask you that and you've thought through all the different scenarios that you might use. Oh, well, I just want to talk to you about, you know, how I'm doing and where we're going and what's next for both the company and for myself. And, you know, so, and most likely they'll say, okay, great, schedule 15 minutes with me, schedule a half hour. How much time do you need? Think about that. How much time do you need if someone was to ask you that? I only need 15 minutes of your time. I need a half hour. I need a full hour so we can really dig deep. Whatever the case might be. So you're really thinking through all the things you're going to need to plan. You're going to have to actually plan your justification for your ask, whatever that might be. Even the car dealer, she did a lot of planning, she did a lot of research, pulled together some things and worked through why she was going to be asking for a certain price when blah blah blah blah blah. You get the idea. So then there's prepare, and what's the difference there is Planning is even prior to executing. You're just gonna plan it all out because you need to also get comfortable with, like I said, those potential limiting beliefs that you have. So now you're preparing, you're doing the research, you're putting together the, what I'll call your business case. If you're asking for a promotion or a raise, you have to justify it. What have you done? What haven't you done? What awards have you accomplished? What reviews or testimonials have you received that's gonna justify the raise, the promotion, the increase in prices, the new client acquisition, or even the negotiation of a car deal. So plan and then prepare. And then what I mean by practice is play it out. Don't just go by the seat of your pants. Actually sit and— whether it's with someone else, that's a whole different story. I do role play and do walkthrough scenarios with my clients.. But even if you're sitting there and you're kind of doing it on your own, so to speak, but you could, whether it's your business or your work career, like your corporate career or your personal life, you could find somebody and say, you know, can I talk you through what I'm thinking about when it comes to this promotion, raise, raising a price, whatever the case might be, and practice. So then you're prepared for any scenario that comes up. 'Cause I also will tell you that prepare for the good comments and the good questions and the good outcome, 'cause many of us often walk into situations thinking that they're going to be turned down or they're going to get a no, and they don't even know how to handle when they get a yes. It's kind of like, oh really, are you sure?

Really?

You know, and so we don't want that, obviously. But what if you did get that no? What if you did get that rejection? What if you did get that kind of, you know, someone turning your nose up at your new prices, or that, you know, car dealer says no. How will you handle that? And what can you do? You don't accept a no. You never accept a no. You now want to understand kind of what needs to be different or changed or new in your approach. So for instance, if you go and ask for that promotion and they say no, you ask why. Can you, you know, help me understand, you know, why I wouldn't be eligible or why I wouldn't be able to fit or whatever the case might be?

You—

they can't just answer no and you can't accept it. So you have to drill into it and then you say, okay, what can I do in order to plot out a plan for me, for me to achieve that promotion or that raise or that client? Because you know, business owners, that even clients will say no and you have to say, you know, You might say what it takes, but you don't want to do that. You might say something like, well, what is it that you need, or what is it will you will be looking for in whatever vendor or product or service you acquire? And let me see if I'm able to kind of meet those requirements. So you— so that's the practice, is to run through all the scenarios, run through the good things that might come from the conversations or the action or the ask. As well as think through the objections. And if you've ever taken sales training— and all of this is sales, you're selling yourself for that promotion, for that raise, for that new client, for that negotiation at the car dealer— you're selling yourself. So you need to run through all those scenarios. And sales training especially will teach you to look at all the questions you need to ask, all the information you need to gain as a result of that conversation, and then learn of the objections and have your responses to those objections planned out. Plan, prepare, practice. That way you're going to feel a lot more confident, even if you didn't going in. You're going to feel a lot more confident to make that ask. All right, and if you happen to try this and are successful, as my friend was, then I would love to hear about it., and I would love to cheer you on and congratulate you for taking those steps. Mindset, plan, practice— or I'm sorry, plan, prepare, practice, the 3 Ps. All right, and then just ask. All right, let's see, we covered all of those, but we have a few minutes. So there was one thing I had said that I wanted to talk about. And I wasn't sure if I got to it, but I think I did actually. So we talked about your goals, time management, your ask, and then assessments. And I'm just going to look and blink at my little list here to make sure. Um, no. Well, there is a couple more that I can do. Uh, so a next question that I, I get, and oftentimes from business owners, is, I have no money to spend on pursuing my goals. Now, this could be personal, so that individual with the negotiation, car dealer, shouldn't have the amount of money that they're asking for. Uh, it could be personal to where you want to pursue an adventure running and you can't invest in shoes. Um, it could be your corporate career. They all of a sudden tell you that you don't have a skill or talent that you need in order to get that promotion, ask for that raise, and you— they don't provide the training. And you want to do it externally, uh, even from as far as coaches. I've had individual executives and/or middle managers who've hired me outside the business environment for two reasons. One, because they wanted to keep it confidential, and that's why I can't talk a lot about specifics of my clients. But two, they don't have a coaching program within their organization. They don't have that budget, that investment, so they are willing to go outside and acquire it themselves. So what can you do if you have no real good, uh, monies to invest in your, in your business or in your career or in your personal life? Get creative will be my tip there, is get creative as far as what can you do to, um, gain those resources, gain that training, get those you know, things you need to put into place for your business, product, service, and find those resources because there's tons of them. So say you need to invest in graphics. Well, there's a lot of, um, there's a lot of online graphic freelance type of sites and resources out there that are $5 and/or, you know, $10 an hour or $100 for a package or something that you get great quality, and yet the, the return and the benefit to the provider, so to speak, is that they're able to expand their client base, they're able to expand their lead list, they get more visibility, they get more traction, more what I call logos. Testimonials, recommendations. There's a lot of reasons why there's resources, tools out there from the low end to the high end, because they're— they know that there's individuals just like you that need the support and need the same quality and yet don't have that full money. So get creative, you know, ask people, post it on Facebook, post it on LinkedIn, post it on Twitter, or as what it is that you're looking for and whether or not there's tools, resources, or actual people people that are willing to support you. You can even barter. I have a lot of people who come to me and they want to be part of my radio program. They want to be, you know, promoted on my radio program. They want to be part of my Shedding the Bits community, what I'm doing with my screenplay, have access to my network, whatever the case might be. And I need them for, for whatever the case might be. Especially right now with a lot of the work that I'm doing. It requires a lot of resources, a lot of investment. And so they'll say to me, you can trade. I'll give you this if you give me access to your network, if you allow— if you promote me, you know, on your programs or in your marketing. And I'm more than happy to do that. So simply get creative, because whether you need to find training and you need to find someone who will coach you through that skill or talent you need at work or help you negotiate at a car dealer, there's ways to leverage people out there that want to help. All right, so that was a bonus question squeezed in at the very end. So come back, we have a great year planned within the Shedding the Bitch community. Go on to our Facebook and our Twitter pages, join our private Facebook group, and pay attention for our Shift to Riches programs that will be deployed soon. And I'll look forward to celebrating and collaborating and achieving with you in 2017. Thanks everybody, have a great day. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.