『 It's About - Goals and Mindset, Not Dreams and Skill Set 』

Are you ready to create riches in your work and life? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So let's welcome your ball of fire host, Bernadette Boas.

Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you on this beautiful day? Today we're going to be talking about dreams and skill set versus goals and mindset. So that's what we're going to talk about today, but I am so thrilled that you are here. Uh, I am just getting back from a very long and electricity-free vacation. So what does that exactly mean? Well, without electricity, you don't necessarily have access to technology and at the same time Wi-Fi. So it was absolutely fabulous to just disappear to a lake, a private island, and family, and just kind of sit back and, um, take life all in before coming back to reality. But I am thrilled to be here and to have this conversation with you because Um, though I was sitting there without scrolling and spending time on the internet and whatnot, I did have a lot of time, uh, for reflection and, um, meditation, prayer, and even just consideration of what is it that, uh, so many of you are dealing with and struggling with, and how can I, you know, support? How can I help? How can I give some insights and tips and strategies, to help you with it. Now, on Shedding the Bitch, we, uh, provide you a great opportunity throughout the month, but the first Tuesday, such as today, the first Tuesday of each month is an Ask Me Anything episode where you can actually post your, uh, questions or challenges on our various, uh, social media sites, which is on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page, our Shedding the Bitch TV YouTube channel, as well as on Twitter. A good majority of you actually just private DM me on LinkedIn, which is beautiful as well. Um, at the same time, you have an opportunity right here, whether it's on BlogTalk or where— wherever you, uh, get your, um, podcasts, to also post your questions and comments. You also have an opportunity for two other ways to get, uh, connected to the show. You can call in to 1-818-572-2910 and actually join me, um, in a conversation, uh, in regards to whatever it is that you might be dealing with. As well as you can, uh, come into the studio with me if you're watching this on any one of those platforms I mentioned and you're watching it via, uh, or it's coming through to you via StreamYard. You can leave a comment and I can actually send you a private link and you can actually join me on camera in the studio. So there's tons of opportunity for you to, uh, to get connected and get the support that you need. So I'll be taking a look through all of those various, uh, platforms to ensure that we are getting to you and your question and/or comment. All right, okay, so we're talking goals and mindset versus dreams and skill set. You notice I swapped them. I introduced it as dreams and skill set versus goals and mindset. And the reason why is I really want you to put the focus on goals and mindset and, and versus dreams and skill set. And we're going to dig into why that is and tips and strategies you could be using in order for you to really ensure that you are going to be successful in achieving your goals and achieving the success that you want. After all the hard, hard work that you're putting in each and every day. All right. So this conversation is one that as an executive coach, I tend to address on a regular basis. And that is, I'll get questions such as, you know, I'm working my tail off, I'm checking off my list, and yet I still can't seem to get ahead. I can't seem to achieve that goal. I can't seem to get that promotion at work. I can't seem to fill in the blank. Uh, and so what I often have to do is to kind of dig in and find out why. So the first thing I think we need to talk about is the fact that there's a difference between— and the reason why I separate dreams and skill set to goals and mindset is quite honestly, dreams are purely wishes, or even you can look at it as they're purely fantasy if they don't have some actions and timelines and, and deliverables that sit behind them. So whether you're, you know, at your job or you're, you know, at home and you have aspirations, you have dreams you have wishes that you wish would come true, um, they are only just that. They're very, um, ethereal, they're very intangible, they're very, um, wishy-washy if you don't have some substance behind them. And that's what most people struggle with. Yes, I want this, but I'm not sure what I need to do or how I need to do it or when I need to do it, um, in order to achieve it. And so dreams are beautiful to have. I mean, there is nothing better than just kind of closing your eyes. Or I was actually, um, on an 8-hour drive, uh, excuse me, from Canada into Philadelphia, um, not yesterday, Sunday. And I had a lot of time to just kind of, you know, look out at this scenery and just kind of go off into daydreams. You probably have that opportunity as well, whether that's, you know, you're taking a break from the chaos that's in front of you and you just want to close your eyes and you just want to go off to a fantasy land. You might do as you, you know, close your eyes and go to sleep at night. You might do it as you're in a car and you're driving— hopefully not driving— but, you know, you just kind of allow yourself to open up and get creative and have the courage and the bravery to just really dream about what it is that you really want. And that makes dreams so powerful and so valuable. So we're certainly not talking about dismissing them. We're just looking at, okay, so if you're dreaming, you know, of something that it's simply for fantasy purposes, it's simply to kind of forget what's, you know, what's happening in your life, or to at least put a, you know, hit the pause button, um, and to just kind of bring yourself to a good mindful state, uh, and therefore, you know, your imagination is going wild. That's awesome. I mean, I'll sit there and oftentimes I always thought that I was a really creative, powerful dreamer until, you know, I start, you know, as I was learning to screenwrite over the last 7 or 8 years, until I started really looking at and, and really, um, digging into how screenwriters, for instance, producers, those people that take, you know, take their dreams and translate them into scripts, um, or take the scripts and then translate them into moving, you know, uh, movies, or it might be into a book or whatever the case might be. And then I start you know, looking at the fact that, oh my God, the, you know, just the imaginations of some individuals are just, you know, beautiful, wonderful, a little bit insane at times, a little bit, a little bit off, you know, depending upon what your genre is. Um, but, you know, but at the same time, you know, they're allowing themselves to just go and create. And so I would always empower and advocate that anyone just take that opportunity for themselves because you just never know what you find, find in that space. You know, you might find this new, um, excitement or butterflies or exhilaration within yourself of something that you really never consider being, you know, doing or being part of. And yet here you are, you're dreaming about something, and then some aspect of that dream, you know, kind of you look at it going, well, wait a minute, I can make that a reality. I can go after that. I can do that. And that's why dreams are an absolutely beautiful thing. So dreams, and then we're going to talk about just what you need to do to really kind of take that dream, make it more concrete. So dreams, and then there's skill set. And in, you know, in the role that I have, as well as, um, you know, you in your, uh, whether it's corporate or entrepreneurial, uh, role, you also have the need to build up your skill sets, or what I like to very simply say, your resume. And I, I just remember even throughout my corporate career, and I would go out to conferences and what and whatnot, and there would be speakers— excuse me— or there would be, you know, a guest in, you know, working with our, with, with the company, and they would always introduce themselves and they would run through their resume. Or their bio, bringing up all the wonderful skills and accolades and, uh, credentials and schools that they've been to, so forth and so on. And I can remember even in my early 20s thinking to myself, well, you know, they're in their 30s, 40s, 50s, maybe even 60s, and what does all of that really mean if they're not necessarily not only leveraging it, but they're not empowered around it based on other things such as your mindset. So yes, skill set is key and critical. And yes, from a business perspective, that is a key requirement that individuals will look for, mainly hiring managers, HR leaders, so forth, will be looking for in their people. And yet I work with all of them, and I will stress time and time again that from the job description getting posted to the time that they actually, they actually reach out to want to interview someone, to where then they're interviewing them, even onboarding them, they really should be having conversations and digging in and doing due diligence on a lot more than just simply what the resume says. And from a practical perspective, I was just talking to one of my nephews during our vacation. And the other key thing that I, that I think that needs to be stressed too is when someone's looking at your skill set, or I should say looking at your resume, there should be some indication there of really what are some non-tangibles, what are some personal development, what are some mindset work that you're— that one has been working on for themselves to ensure that then their skill sets, uh, can be maximized, optimized. I even often say exploited, and that's not a negative term. That just simply means you're just, you know, you're kind of going over and beyond, uh, leveraging all of your, all of your skill set as a result of the mindset that you have. All right, so skill set is absolutely critical, and whether you're 20 or 50 and you're making, um, job changes, maybe you're getting advancements in your job, uh, whatever the case might be, maybe you're starting your own business, there's definitely a requirement for you to go and ensure you have the skills that are necessary. Now, I will stress there, for all of you women out there who feel that you have to have, you know, 100% of your skill sets tight for that next opportunity before you go for that next opportunity, um, well, that is plain and simply is BS. And, uh, you'll— you'd be using it as an excuse to delay or to not get uncomfortable or to take on something that you're you're not familiar with. Because if you had— this is one little career tip I'll provide anybody— but if you already have everything you need for that next position, then you're going after the wrong position. Make sense? I mean, if you already have all of those skills, if you're already totally capable, if you already have hit the ceiling, on what's required to then go and pursue your next adventure, your next opportunity, your next promotion, your next company, whatever the case might be, then you're actually not reaching far enough. All right. So that's one thing I just want you to be thinking about. So skill sets, always important to work on. And I'll hesitate saying master. Skill set is always important to work on. Just make sure where your priorities are. All right, and we're going to talk about that in just a second. So, you know, again, dreams are wonderful to have. They're powerful. They certainly get all of us through very difficult times. That's why, you know, we all love going to the movies, uh, or, you know, binging on that latest, you know, show, because we like to escape. And, you know, go to a world that is not our own. Um, at the same time, we just want to make sure that when we find those dreams that can actually, you know, be turned into reality, then we need to get a little bit more concrete about it. And then as far as the skill set, yes, work on them. Identify what skill sets you need, and then just, uh, as we continue forward, just work through the priority that you need to be taking in in regards to, in regards to that. And when you go and pursue certain skill sets, you know, more technical, functional, operational type of skill sets, um, because there may be other things that, that are, you know, are more relevant. Now, I found a great example, and I can't take credit for it, um, but I found a great example going back to Dreams that might for you, like it did for me, um, hit home on this whole subject. And it was an article in Inc. that I happened to come across, and it was written by Leonard Kim. And it talked about— it was talking about dreams, and it was talking about the danger of dreams, meaning that if you continue to chase dreams— and then I myself would add, without, you know, concrete concrete the other things we're going to talk about, um, then, you know, it's just that fantasy, that wish, you know, that desire that you have. It's not anything concrete. Um, so he talked about the fact that, you know, if you continue chasing your dreams, then you're pushing them further away than you are bringing them closer to you. And the, the example he brought up, which I loved, was the Road Runner. So, you know, if any of you are at least over the age of maybe 35, 40, um, but it's still airing today after 68 years, then you may have seen or heard of the Road Runner. So it's all about— it's a cartoon character, uh, or show, and like I said, around for 68 years. And it's about this coyote that is always chasing his dream of catching the Roadrunner. And again, it's been on for 68 years. He never caught the Roadrunner. And at the same time, he had massive skill set. He had that toolbox, everything that was needed in order to catch, catch and succeed in realizing his dream of catching the Roadrunner. But he never does. And so you have to ask why. What is he missing? What is, what is he not focused on and not considering when it comes to, you know, him, you know, chasing this coyote for 68 years, um, and never catching him? Now, of course, you could dig into all of the, the different things in regards to that. Um, you know, you could look at the fact that, well, he was— when it comes to chasing, chasing is almost one of those desperate, anxious-ridden, insecurity, you know, ridden type of mindsets, um, where someone is so desperate to obtain or achieve something, um, that they're, you know, kind of acting very anxiously and, and forcefully and, you know, illogically in a lot of cases, and a lot of times emotionally, to where they're actually pushing it away as opposed to drawing it closer to them. And again, a lot of reason for that is the lack of concrete behind that dream, you know. So the Coyote was missing a great deal of what he— what it was that he needed in order to catch the Roadrunner. And I want to— I, you know, it'd be great for you to consider the same thing when it comes to your own journey of whatever it is that you might be chasing. And as opposed to chasing it, um, you know, we're going to talk about what you can be doing to where you're actually attracting it toward you. Okay. Um, but I just absolutely loved that idea of, um, the the, you know, the Roadrunner being used as an example because one, it brought me back to my childhood, um, and at the same time it, you know, kind of is very relatable, uh, to so many things about how people, you know, go and pursue what it is that they want within their work or within their life. Um, and so I would just suggest that you kind of take a breath, you back away, and, you know, work on some other aspects of it in order to make it more tangible, more real, and more attractive, more sticky. Okay, um, excuse me. And then, and then with that, um, you can then shift from really focusing on the skill set to determine what is needed, um, in order for— like the Coyote, in order for him actually to accomplish his dream. Um, so what could you be doing when it comes to turning your dream, um, to, to the point where you're actually attracting and it's working for you as opposed to against you? Well, you know, one of those first things would be the fact that you are kind of, um, articulating your dream into a goal. So that's where the goals and the mindset come into play. So you're actually taking the dream that's pretty much like, you know, almost like this visual thing. You might even have put it down on a vision board in some way, shape, or form. But it's this, you know, kind of fantasy that you have and you're able to picture it, you're able to detail it, you're able to create tangible actions around it or even measurements, both tangible and intangible measurements around it. And so as opposed to leaving it in your head, hoping that it'll come from your head onto a piece of paper and into reality, Um, you know, you consciously want to kind of purposely sit down, intentionally plan out, and articulate that dream that you have into, into a goal. So you can use a number of the methods that are out there in order to do that. One of the most popular ones being the SMART methodology, and we talk a lot about that both here on Shutting the Bitch but also in my practice at Ball of Fire Coaching. And it's just an acronym to help you understand what the elements or components are of a goal, of a dream that you put into details and into concrete. Um, and you know, it's an acronym that you can follow to ensure that that dream can be realized. So what is that acronym? Well, it's easy to remember SMART, right? It's easy to remember SMART. And we're not going to get into all of that detail here. At the same time, we'll, you know, kind of give you all the, all of the, all the specifics around what it is that you can do to get dreams into reality and then move skill set into something that's more powerful and more attracting to you. So SMART means specific, measurable, actionable, In my world, I use realistic. Some people you might see out there using relevant. And then T is time-bound. So again, why you want to, you know, make your dreams concrete is you want to create that roadmap. You want to create something that you could literally say, okay, I need to decide what's most important today versus tomorrow. And what's going to help me do that prioritization or, you know, what, and determine that importance and to lay out my, you know, milestones of what I need to do first, second, and third. Well, that's exactly what a goal is meant to do. It's meant to create a roadmap through all this detail from the SMART methodology. So then if you ever doubt what it is you should be working on, when you should be working on it, why you're working on it, you know, what the investment is to be working on it, what the timetable is. You can lean on this roadmap, okay? I call it a rich plan, um, in my world. Uh, so you can— excuse me— so you can easily, you know, lay out the— all the specifics, every little detail of specifics you can determine around the dream that you have. I want— I dream that I want to, you know, climb Kilimanjaro. Okay, great. You know, all the details around it. You know, you can even put in why, why, where, when, how, and, um, what. Um, you know, you can put all the details around what that looks like. Okay. And that will be your specifics. And then how are you going to measure whether or not you're successful at achieving that? Well, it could be that you all of a sudden have all of this detail and you know, that detail includes, I need to research what it takes to, to, you know, climb Kilimanjaro. I need to look up where Kilimanjaro is and, you know, how am I going to get there and how much is it going to cost and what does it cost to do this adventure? And then you can also, you know, you're including into this from a measurement perspective, Um, uh, you know, uh, the fitness, you know, what kind of fitness do I need to be in? And therefore, what do I need to be doing in order to get fit? And how fit do I, you know, need to be, you know, a month from now, 6 months from now, a year from now? What, you know, depending upon the time, the T, that you've put onto this, this dream turned goal. Uh, and then you move on, um, and you could determine all the actions you need to take. In order to realize this dream. So you're, like I said, you're laying out everything. You're laying out the research as a task or an action. You're laying out, um, the research on the, the cost, booking your flights, um, hiring a trainer, hiring a partner to go with you, getting all of your equipment. I mean, those all become your action plan. So now even between your S, M, and A, you already have some breath. You have— you already have some concrete detail around, you know, this dream that you have and what— when you wake up tomorrow morning, what you should be doing, when you should be doing it, you know, so forth and so on. All right, so then you move on to R, realistic. And this is really key for me, um, and I hope for you too, because, um, some people, when they, they use the term relevant, yeah, it's relevant, I can climb Kilimanjaro, uh, as opposed to if they use realistic, um, realistic is a little bit more kind of hits the jugular around, yeah, is this realistic? Um, so for instance, if you had set your, your goal for Kilimanjaro to be this time next year, 12 months from now, and say, you know, you have medical issues health issues, weight issues, um, you have, um, uh, not disabilities but maybe limitations that can certainly be worked on. But can they be worked on in the time frame that you've come up with? Can they be worked on to where it is realistic that you can actually do this? All right, now apply this to— is it realistic if I want to go from a manager's position to a VP position in the next 12 months? So say that was your, your, you know, your overall goal. You lay out all the specifics, the measurements, the actions to go with that. And when you get to realistic, is it realistic that I can actually do this within 12 months? Not do this ever, but do this based on all the other things that you've laid out, one of which is the timetable. Um, so, you know, you want to, to be able to do that. One big hiccup people will come up with is Say they're trying to lose weight and say they need to lose a significant amount of weight. Say it's 100 pounds, yet they've never been on diet. They hate diets. They don't work out. Um, they did pretty much do everything counter-smart. I won't even say intuitive to it, to that opportunity, to that goal. Well, is it realistic that you're going to be able to accomplish it? And then is it realistic you're going to accomplish it in the time frame that you've come up with? So that's why I like to use realistic, because it really hits my clients in the eyes, or between the eyes, to really think about what it is that they're signing up for. And then T, of course, is timetable. A lot of people will say goals without timetables, time deadlines, are just wishes. So you have dreams, fantasies, wishes, and there's a lot of truth to that. I mean, you could have a goal, and I have Many, many people come to me and they say, I have this goal to do X, Y, and Z. And I'll say, good, by when? Well, it doesn't really matter. Or, you know, it's not a priority for me. Well, then it's really not a goal. It's still a dream or a wish or a fantasy. It's not a goal. A goal is only relevant. That's a good way of using relevant when you have a timetable. And you wanna make sure that that timetable is realistic, cuz again, so many of you set yourself up for failure before you even get started because you put in a too aggressive of a, a timetable there, or you put too little, um, uh, aggressiveness in your timetable, dragging it out, and therefore it's not really meaningful. It doesn't set that urgency or that priority for you. So you really want to be looking at all of that as well. All right, so that's the SMART methodology of how you can go about, um, really concrete-wise turning your dreams into goals. But there's some other more important things, especially when it comes to what we were talking about in regards to, uh, attracting your dreams versus kind of chasing them and repelling them. And those are things that it pretty much allows you to just simply let go of holding on and being so desperate about this dream that you have that you are creating kind of more stress and more anxiety for yourself. Because trust me when I say, people smell it on you. Um, and you know, I talk a lot about this with entrepreneurs, is if they're so desperate to get a client, they're so desperate to build their business. They're so desperate, uh, you know, to achieve something, to get a certain amount of money in the door, uh, that, you know, they're definitely repelling any opportunity to do so because it's just reeking off of them when they're engaging and working with someone. And the same for corporate professionals who really want that next promotion, who really believe they deserve it, who really think that they've earned it, and you know, and it's— and they're— so they're being so aggressive and they're being so desperate and anxious, um, about it. And it's all about them, uh, to where, you know, it might not be, you know, direct, but it's kind of like people aren't talking about you, people aren't supporting you, advocating for you, sponsoring you, and, you know, it's going silent and you're not getting it. So when You know, people will come to me and go, Bernadette, I don't understand. I'm doing this and this, and I'm working my tail off, working long hours. I'm, you know, checking off my to-do list. I'm contributing greatly. I'm even generating revenue for companies, and yet I'm not getting ahead. Why? Uh, so I would consider how you're actually coming across, um, you know, in your behavior, in your words, in your actions, in your beliefs., that might be repelling people as opposed to attracting it. So letting go— and to let go is as simple as kind of always have your goal there with that, those milestones, timelines, measurements, and actions. At the same time, go and do what you do best. Just go and be the best person you could be. Go and give. Go and serve. Go and, um, support. Go and help. Go and be grateful for what you already have, um, you know, and express that in thankfulness. Be open, be open to receive, be open to actually attract what it is that you need in order to even pursue and achieve your goal, thus your dream. All right, um, but so many just are just kind of push, push, push, push, push. I remember a time I was so desperate, uh, to get, um, my business off the ground. And when I first, uh, was writing and releasing Shedding the Corporate Bitch, where everything came from, everything that I do today, um, I sat on my couch for hours after working a full day, you know, desperately, you know, posting and tweeting and Facebooking and YouTubing and doing everything and anything and reaching out to people and making sure everybody knew about my book and everybody was buying it and everybody. And I mean, I killed myself. I almost physically, um, killed myself because I was so desperate. And then I just decided, you know what, all— none of this is paying off. None of this is getting me any closer. I'm just gonna kind of let it go, put it on the shelf, so to speak. Slowly just go out, build relationships, get connected, network, um, you know, help other— like, use what it was that I was writing about and that I wanted so badly to, to get out there into people's hands and start just giving it and sharing it and teaching it and coaching it and mentoring it and serving and helping and supporting. And, you know, whether it was— I've been doing Shagging the Bitch since 2010. So then I just started, you know, doing the YouTube and doing, you know, mastermind groups and online education and, you know, beyond my work. So for you to be able to really attract your dreams, not only do you wanna make 'em concrete into goals, but you also just wanna let go of it after you've defined it. Just let go, do what you need to do, what your plan says, 'cause remember you have a roadmap now. And just let go and go out and give, serve, help. And whether you're a corporate professional or you're an entrepreneur, it's all relevant. You know, you want that advancement at work, think about how are you building relationships, how are you networking, how are you supporting and serving, how are you looking out for the best and success of others before your own. Because the one thing that I learned, um, a number of years ago, maybe 8 or 9, I didn't understand it at first, I'll be quite honest with you. Um, but then I did, and that was, um, serve others, serves you. Serve others, serves you. And I sat with that for the longest time because quite honestly I just didn't get it. It sounded very selfish. And here I was trying to work on shedding the bitch that I was. Um, I just didn't get it. I'm like, serving others serves me. Well, isn't that kind of self-serving? Isn't that kind of, you know, uh, selfish if, you know, if I serve others just for the intention of serving me? And, you know, and I probably sat with that for a couple of years. Um, and speaking about mindset, right? So I probably sat with that for a couple of years, just not understanding it and just trying to continue working on what we're going to talk about in a minute. And all of a sudden it clicked. And it was also through other people that were supporting me and coaching me and, and, you know, meditating with me and, you know, helping me. But, you know, with their guidance, I all of a sudden realized that, no, what it really means is just focus on serving others. Because that will give you the joy and the reward. You know, when other people are helped, when other people are happy, when other people are enriched, when other people are supported and you see that smile on your face, on their face, or you see that they were able to go after their own, you know, dream. Long before you even were able to go after yours and, and/or achieve it. I mean, the pride that that gives you, that's what all of a sudden I realized serving me means. Serve others, put aside, you know, yourself, serve others, and it comes back. Forget about the fact that what you put out in the universe comes back to you, you know, an aspect of law of attraction if you wanna look at it like that. Forget that. I mean, forget it, but don't forget it. You know, what you do put out in the world is what comes back at you. Okay, so that, you know, so when it comes to you being able to let go of your dream, that, that tight hold you have on it, have it in a concrete goal and roadmap and work at it, and then focus on helping, giving, supporting everyone else around you, being grateful, being open to receive whatever comes your way. And trust me when I say your world will change. Your dreams, those concrete now goals, will become a reality. And the end, they won't take so much effort and so much drain. Okay, but the next question that people will ask me is that, okay, Bernadette, that's great, you know, from a logical perspective, a technical perspective, operational even perspective, you know, okay, I have this goal on this roadmap and yet I'm still not achieving. What's happening? And, um, and so I'll first say to them, so what are you doing to work on, you know, yourself, simply your mindset? Because even someone saying to me, I'm doing this, this, this, and this 'But nothing's working, why?' You know, is, is an indication to me that they aren't self-aware and they aren't really self-reflective on what is actually going on, because they wouldn't have to ask why. Does that make sense? So if you are very self-aware of everything going on around you and you get that um, you may not be actually doing the things that you need to be doing, even though you have this goal, this goal and, and kind of roadmap that we laid out. But all of a sudden you're looking at that action items and there's items on that list that you don't want to do because you, you know, you don't feel comfortable, not confident enough, you don't know how, and therefore you're kind of like going around them, avoiding them, and doing other things that aren't of priority, aren't in the timetable. So forth and so on, um, but yet you're resisting actually seeing that and being honest with yourself about that. That is a mindset issue. And that's why I find that life isn't 80% skill set, it's 80% mindset and 20% skill set. Because you can have all the skills in the world, you can have the best resume packed with the with the Ivy League, you know, education and, and, um, best company, uh, logos attached to it with awards and accolades and certifications, so forth and so on. But if you don't have an empowered mindset, if you're not self-aware of both your strengths and your weaknesses— what I call riches are your strengths and bitches are your weaknesses, and you're not willing to look at them square in the eye and, you know, confront the impact that they're having on you, good or bad. Well, that is something— that's the number one place that you then should start working on. And therefore, I would prefer that you get up each and every day, and as opposed to your, your laundry list of things to do, are all focused on the, the skills, the tasks that you need to do. I'd rather them being more on the personal development, the personal growth, the self-awareness work, whether that's reading, meditating, assessing yourself. Um, and I'll talk about that in just a second, but I'd rather you focused there. All right, so, um, that's just something to, to keep in mind. I'm just glancing over here for just a second. So that's just something to keep in mind. Because all that skill set's not going to get you anywhere if you don't feel confident, if you don't— if you're doubting yourself, if you feel you're not deserving, if you're suffering with imposter syndrome, if, you know, in any way you're negative or, um, you know, you're— you just have low self-esteem or, or low self-worth. Um, any of that is going to prevent you from totally leveraging, let alone exploiting all of that talent, all of those riches, um, you know, that are on that resume. Okay, now, and keep in mind too, a lot of your riches can't be put on a resume. You know, the— that kindness, that compassion, that empathy, that, um, you know, leadership, uh, a lot of those things, they, they, you know, those soft skills, but they're soft and therefore people have a hard time articulating those within a resume, you know, and I would argue maybe contrary to what I might have just said, that you could certainly put things on your resume that reflect the work that you're doing on yourself. You know, I know I and I continue to have a longtime mentoree, a mentoree, and he certainly— I'm sure that he puts on his resume when he is looking for a job, that he puts on his resume that he has a coach, that he has an executive leadership coach. That speaks volumes, uh, to those looking at it, that, oh wow, he's, you know, taking these training classes, or he's, you know, part of this, um, you know, certain mastermind group that's focused on personal development and/or personal growth in one way or the other. Um, so as opposed to everyone so focused on that skill set and that resume, I really would want you to be very much focused on, you know, waking up every day and identifying what it is that you want to be working on when it comes to your own personal empowerment and self-awareness. So in my world, I call it the Shift to Riches Formula, and it really— like the SMART methodology There isn't an acronym to it, but there is a very, you know, simple— you, you want to discover who you are, uh, and everything about you so then you can confront and shed— excuse me— those things that you don't like about yourself or that aren't working for you or that, um, aren't kind of in your path, in your future. And once you start doing that, once you discover and confront and shed those things are just holding you down and keeping you back. And it's people, places, and things. It's people, places, things, mindset, belief systems, values, um, whatever the case might be. Once you do that, it's amazing that you start creating and accelerating what it is that you want in your life, attracting what it is you want in your life. So that's how we You know, that's what we refer to as the Shift to Riches Formula, is that ability to really, you know, discover who you are, confront the good, the bad, and the ugly. And because a lot of people have trouble even confronting their riches, so you can shed what it is you want— or I'm sorry, shed what it is you don't want, keep what you want, and create and accelerate everything else going forward. So, um, when you kind of wake up every day or focus every day on what it is that you really need to be focused on, really focus on that— having goals and mindsets stemming from your dreams and your skill set. And that will set you up for success at work and at home for as long as you need it. All right, so if you have any questions or need any support, be sure to check me out at balloffirecoaching.com. But be here each and every Tuesday. Uh, you can follow us on Shed the Bitch TV. You can also, um, go to any one of the podcast streaming services and download any one of our episodes. And then come back next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. I'll talk to you then. Take care, everybody. Bye.

Thank you for taking part in Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your biggest takeaway was. Go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook or YouTube and leave a comment. You can also subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts and YouTube so you don't miss a single episode of the show. And with your input, we can help other powerhouse women just like you find the show and decide if it's right for them. Learn more about Bernadette at balloffirecoaching.com.

See you next week.