It's All About Love on Shedding the Bitch Radio

Well, happy, happy Love Day everyone! It is that special day of the year, Valentine's. So I'm not really good at making the hearts with my hands if you're watching this on video. Okay, I'm not very good at all, but happy Valentine's, happy Love Day, happy smoochie, whatever it is that you want to call it. I just hope wherever you are around the world you are enjoying and waking up to a beautiful soul, a beautiful beautiful sense of peace and contentment and love in your life. And if you're struggling a little bit, that's okay too, because, um, there's, you know, always opportunities and people that will come into your life that will shine a little smile or a little hug or a little sense of love to you. So I just want to send out to everyone in my network community in my life. Happy Valentine's Day, happy love day, and thank you so much for being a part of my life because it wouldn't be as fulfilling and as wonderful as it is without you. And I have to do some, a few shoutouts, but as a reminder, you're on Shedding the Bitch Radio and I'm Bernadette Boas. And today, Valentine's Day, February is an active month within my, my family My sister's— one of my sister's birthdays begins February, on February 4th. So happy belated, Annemarie. And then yesterday was my sister Teresa's, and Sunday, February 12th, was my beautiful, beautiful 17-year-old goddaughter and niece Mary Grace. And today is the most important and the most wonderful woman in the world's birthday, and that's my mother. And I want to shout out a happy, happy Happy birthday, Mom. Love you to death. Miss you. I know it's only been since Christmas, but I'm looking forward to May when we all will go to the beach and I can just give you a really big hug and a kiss. So take this virtual hug and kiss now. Mwah! If you can see this on video, and I am sending all my love and prayers and thank-yous to you on this special day. But anyway, so this is gonna be a day of love here on Shedding the Bitch because Shedding the Bitch is about love. It's about discovering and confronting and shedding those things that might be preventing you from fully, fully engaging in loving yourself as well as other people in your life. So you can then move on and create and accelerate all the riches that life has to offer. So a perfect, perfect, you know, topic for any day of the year, quite honestly. But on this special day, since it fell on our radio show, day, we will talk about love. And unfortunately, when you talk about love, you also— you'll talk about heartache and loss and sorrow. And there was a loss this past week, and to the global community as a whole, and that would be Miss Whitney Houston. And I want to touch on her for a minute, but in— but for a second, I want to play a little She talks about how do you know about love. You know, it was, it was, I don't know, as much of a surprise as just always shocking when someone that appears to have so much in their life— now granted, we've all watched some of the ups and downs and some of the tragedies and some of the heartbreak in her own life, but still we tend to emulate— or not emulate, we tend to look up and revere those individuals, male or female, that have all this power and position and money and exposure and celebrity, and we think that all of that would make them very happy, content people. And yet we'll talk a lot about, you know, a lot about this on Shedding the Bitch Radio. Having all of those materialistic possessions does not equate to having love for yourself in your heart and in your head and throughout your body and your soul that then translates to ultimate love self-actualization, all the things that really make people at peace and content and fulfilled in their life. And it's sad to say, but Whitney is one of those examples. Here she has everything at her fingertips. Granted, she might have struggled in maybe losing her, her voice or the quality of it due to AIDS, due to a number of things, but at the same time she was working hard to kind of get back to where she might have been before. So she had drive, she had ambition, she had dreams and goals, and unfortunately there was still some inner bitches she was dealing with that caused her potentially, potentially to unfortunately medicate herself enough to where she accidentally, you know, died. So that's, that's a sad thing, but, and I don't want to dwell on the sadness, I want to dwell or I want to spend time talking about the good and the beauty and the love that she also gave to the world, because that's also obvious by the outpouring around the globe that's been going on since the announcement of her death last Saturday, just a few days ago actually. And obviously the loss, you know, of her from her ex-husband and her daughter has also been very traumatizing as well. So a special shout out and prayers being sent to the Houston family, and hopefully she now is at peace. But anyway, so us talking about love is important because, as you— as she demonstrates, actually, you can have all the wonderful things in the world, you can have all the wonderful trappings and all the possessions, and that life has to offer, or life could offer you. And yet at the same time, without that inner calm and inner happiness, there really isn't pure love in your life. So how do we kind of, kind of be grateful for what we do have and for the degree of love that we have? But how do we find that ultimate, ultimate love? And over the next several weeks Um, we'll have guests that will kind of touch on that in various ways, whether it's through your business, through your relationships, through your life, how the foundation of happiness and success and riches is the love of yourself first, and then everything else will fall in place after that. So we have next week We'll have Patty Farmer, who is the Networking CEO, and she is a hoot. And you just need to kind of hold on tight when she joins me next week, because between the two of us, we just kind of gab, gab, gab, gab, gab. And she'll provide you some great tips and some great advice and great stories and laughs just about how you can kind of leverage your own, you know, social skills, your personality, and who you are to really attract and really obtain what it is that you want in your business. And now, of course, all the tips and advice that she provides is very applicable to your personal life as well and your relationships and all the other things that you're, you know, you're targeted to want to accomplish, whether it be this month, this year, or throughout your lifetime. So Patty Farmer, next Tuesday at noon. And then Greg Reid, Free Feed from Gold. He'll talk to you about really never giving up and how your dreams are just right around the corner or just kind of a stone's throw away. And you just need to kind of keep pushing and working toward those, those goals and never giving up on yourself, because your happiness is not dictated by what other people define as success, what other people define as what you are capable of doing or not. It's merely dictated with how you feel of what you are capable of and what you want to accomplish and what you, you know, are able to do. So Greg will touch on that. And then in a couple of weeks, we'll have Jonathan Asley. You have to look up his site. It's understandmennow.com. Understandmennow.com. I came across him on Facebook, Jonathan Asley. And I reached out to him this time last year, and unfortunately we couldn't make that work. And then a year later, I finally did get a hold of him, so he'll be joining us in March. So stay tuned and look out on my events calendar, whether on sheddingthebitch.com or on Facebook, Shedding the Bitch, or Bernadette Boas, and you'll find all the upcoming guests on Shedding the Bitch Radio. So Let's think and let's talk about what, what is the first way that anyone can really start working with themselves, on themselves, when it comes to finding love in their life. And like I said, yeah, in order to find love in your life, you have to kind of work on the foundation, which is you, personally you. And I talk a lot and I kind of expose myself in my own past insecurities or weaknesses, or what I call bitches, to kind of say that it was very evident in my long drought of dating and relationships that it was because there was just too much junk, you know, that was kind of consuming me that, you know, it just repelled the people around me. Sure, did I meet men? Did I, you know, make new friends? You know, did I have new people in my life? I certainly did. And yet I was talking actually on an interview, I was being interviewed for an Australian magazine the other day, yesterday. And as I was walking around the dog park with Charlie on our regular walk, I'm talking to this lovely young lady, Jessica, and she was asking me, you know, basically about the impact of being, you know, what I deemed myself as a bitch for so long, what that impact had on my life. And I kind of had a laugh because she, you know, being that it was Valentine's, we started talking about relationships and love. And, and I basically said, you know, what man, other than those few men who definitely love falling in love with bitches, you know, what men really want to be around someone who is kind of full of a lot of angst and negativity about themselves and self-doubt and insecurity? And granted, not many people in my life would ever, ever had imagined that that's kind of what was going on in my head and my heart, but that's what was going on. They just saw my singlehoodness as God knows what. I mean, I'm sure they came up with every reason. Is she gay? Is she, you know, you know, is she just not capable? Is she, you know, just wrapped up in herself? Does she not care? Whatever the case might be. I mean, who knows? And simply it was is the fact that a person who's consumed with all those negative thoughts about themselves are going to repel anyone who is worth them. So, you know, my family, my— especially my brothers and sisters, they would always say, oh gosh, you know, we could— we, we can't set you up with anybody because they're not good enough for you. And yet at the same time, I think they were saying, oh my God, none of my friends would want to put up with you. And, and yet the ones that I was attracting were the ones that actually me and liked my negativity and my, you know, attitude and my ego and whatnot. And therefore they're really not the type of people and the level of quality of men or relationships that I would want. So, you know, Jessica commented, is that why you're still single today? And I just turned 50. It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, January 29th. And I'm proud to say I turned 50 and I am very, very happy and content. And yes, single, but at the same time in a much better place in order to find that relationship and find that, find that love. So what can you begin to work on and work toward in order for you to build that foundation of love in your life? Whether you have it now, you can always continue growing it. Or you kind of feel like you lack love for yourself and therefore the love of another man, another woman, whatever the case might be. And actually, let me, let me step back and say too, any lack of love of yourself impacts every area of someone's life. It's not just about whether or not you can attract you know, a relationship. It also is going to repel, you know, new job opportunities, new business opportunities, new client opportunities. It's going to repel you making new friends. It's going to repel you really taking on new adventures and opportunities because you're not going to, because you're going to be so closed-minded or you're going to be so kind of put off or full of that kind of junk in your heart and your head. So when we talk about finding love for you, it's not just finding, you know, a love of another person. It's also all the areas of life that it will impact, be impacted if you don't have love for yourself first. And that comes down to money, relationships, just everything. If you don't have an appreciation and a love for yourself, you probably have some feelings of doubt and feelings of low worth, low value, and therefore every area of your life is impacted. So what can you do in order to, to kind of change that? So the first area would be— I always tell people that you always want to kind of focus on the positive to give you the fuel and the energy and the momentum to propel yourself forward. So the first thing is that you would want to do is look at what it is that you want to accomplish, or your goals, or your dreams, or what is it that you want out of life. And from that, just really, really believe it and own it. And then really think about what current skills and talents and achievements and experiences do you have that you're proud of that other people would say that you're proud— that they're proud of you for, and that you really know in your heart of hearts that those are the things that kind of make you who you are. And spend a great deal of time thinking through that, because a lot of people won't really appreciate for themselves what their skills and talents and achievements have done for them or are at all. They tend to overlook it. They tend to be humble or modest, and they don't want to boast or brag about those things. And yet you really need to kind of take ownership of them and really be proud of them, because whether you're 20 or you're 60, you know, you've lived a lifetime, your lifetime, and therefore there are things that you've accomplished and skills that you've picked up and talents and and, um, uniquenesses that you have that someone else, some other job, some other company, some other friend are going to benefit from. So really spend time really digging deep and thinking about what are those skills and talents and achievements that you've accomplished that you can kind of really use to propel yourself. Now I want to remind everybody, if you have any questions or comments as you're sitting out there listening, whether you're— it's live or on the video or in the radio archive, feel free to always shoot me a note either at sheddingthebitch.com. You can email me directly at Bernadette Boas at Shedding the Bitch, or Facebook me and chat in our chat room because I'm constantly looking at them throughout the day. Throughout the program. And I will always follow up even if someone was to, which I do get quite often, someone will listen to this in an archive and shoot me a note a day later, a week later, whatever the case might be, and say, hey, I was on your program, blah blah blah, and I have a question or a follow-up. So keep that in mind. Also, you can also tweet out any comments and feedback and questions at @shedthebitch. So #ShedTheBitch. So I'm keeping an eye out there. And so I've given you time through this little commercial announcement to really be thinking through or writing down what you feel are your skills, talents, and achievements. Those things that you could sit with and really be proud, proud of because they are your strengths and your core of who you are. Okay, so, and once you do that, you're gonna feel a sense of energy or momentum built up because, you know, now you're focused, now you're, now you're, um, now you are kind of, uh, on a positive track, a positive mode in, in what, in what you're thinking and feeling about yourself. So now with that energy level, keep moving forward and determine for yourself whether or not, you know, those skills and talents are attributed or attributable to the goals and the dreams that you have. So for instance, there'll be some skills and talents that individuals have that really don't apply per se to maybe their, their latest career goal or dream that they have for themselves. So for instance, say you're a great PR person but your goal or dream is to become an opera singer. Well, you might not think that there's a correlation between the two, but quite honestly, you might say to yourself, "Well, wait a minute, being that I'm a good PR person, I'll know how to promote myself as an opera singer." Although opera singers, you know, you'll then hope to have or gain talents around singing— that would be good— or around the other things that you need to, to really hone an operatic singing career. But the correlation between what you— what your skills and talents are and what your goals and dreams are may not look as if they align, and yet at the same time, I can pretty much guarantee you that you'll find some way to attribute your— that skill, talent, or achievement, or experience, or event that you've had in your life toward your goal and your dream. Okay? So now you've thought through your skills, talents, and achievements, and you've thought through the goal and the dream that you have, and you've either determined that it attributes or you've determined that it hasn't. And now you might say to yourself, what does this really have to do with loving myself? And what it has to do with you loving you and learning how to love you is the reason why some people may lack a true love for themselves. I mean, so, you know, we all walk this earth hopefully for, you know, 50, 60, 70, 80, you know, years, but unfortunately, you know, not all of us do. And yet some 5-year-old children or 10-year-old young, young children have a much, much deeper love for themselves than someone that's lived 60 years. And therefore, there's oftentimes where somewhere along your life you might have kind of hit a snag or rock or fell off the cliff, which then created a lot self-doubt or fear or insecurity or, you know, a number of other bitches, as we call them here at Shedding the Bitch, that kind of cause you to chip away at your self-love, that cause you to start doubting yourself or start not liking yourself as much as you did the day before or the moment before. And what we want to do is even if it's been chipped away, we want to kind of put it back, back and kind of, you know, make your heart whole as opposed to having little dents or scratches or holes in it. Okay, so don't take it for granted. Or if you're rolling your eyes at, oh gosh, she's talking that, you know, woo-woo stuff and, you know, wishful thinking thing, well, I would have to just ask you this. When you, when you've been in love, or you have been at a place in your, your own heart and head where you feel complete peace and contentment, do you not know that difference between that state of being and when you are kind of filled with all kinds of junk in your head and heart, where you don't feel real positive, when you look in the mirror and you start picking at you know, the flaws, or when you, you know, go about life and you're just feeling kind of lethargic or just down and sad, maybe even depressed. If you can find that space, that place, and that's why we kind of focus on the skills and the talents and achievements, as well as we'll talk about focusing on those times that you were in love, whether it was with someone else or it was, you know, with yourself, then if you can hold on to that feeling— like, to this day, the one time that I was in love, I can feel that when I really pay attention to it. I can feel it again, and therefore I can go back there when I'm kind of feeling crappy or kind of feeling a little low or a little self-pity for myself or a little kind of alone. I can go back there and feel what I felt at that point in time, and it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. And therefore, why wouldn't you want to feel that again? And why wouldn't you want to look for those things in your life, personally, professionally, that give you that feeling? So that's what we're kind of talking, talking about here. So as a reminder, you're on Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. And we are talking love on this wonderful Valentine's Day. And we have also done some shoutouts, and you can, you know, forward your shoutouts, or you can call them in as well and shout out who you want to say I love you to. And maybe you just want to say I like you or thank you, whatever the case might be. Feel free to go to Facebook, Shedding the Bitch on Facebook, and shout your your gratitude wish out there, or you can call in at 1-818-572-2910, or you can even chat in with us at Shitting the Bitch Radio on BlogTalk. And we are live from noon to 1 each Tuesday Eastern Time. And yet at the same time, we both videotape these episodes and record the audio, so you'd be able to find them on YouTube on Shitting the Bitch Channel. Channel or on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. And then of course we tweet and Facebook, so you can tweet #shedthebitch and leave your comments and feedback and all that kind of good stuff for us as well. And if you have anything that you want to comment or tell a story and share it with our community regarding your love, whether for somebody else or for yourself, we'd love, love, love to hear it. So We're talking about finding that, tapping into those maybe potential holes or scratches or dents in your heart of your self-love for yourself, because that is the foundation for everything, whether personally or professionally, that you're looking to pursue in your lifetime. And you know, it's a quick one. I talk about that a lot. We only get one roundabout on this earth, and yet whether it's for 5 years or 100 years, you want to make it full of love and peace and contentment. So I'm just lending some support in regards to how you can do that. And while we're talking love, I wanted to also just play a little tune. This was Jennifer Hudson's memorial— to dedication, dedication to Whitney the other night on the Grammys. Wow, that was wonderful, and I'm I'm just sorry, I'm just responding to someone who's clicking in with us. How nice was that? And again, just a little, little peppering in of a thank you and a love you to Whitney Houston, who we lost this past week. On this wonderful Valentine's Day on Shedding the Bitch Radio, we're talking love and we're talking how to maximize it and how to to really hone in on how you can ensure that each and every day you are maximizing your own love for yourself, which in turn will then optimize and maximize all the love that you have for other people. And it was just a little quote I listed out on Facebook about, you know, love yourself first and your love for others will soar. And it's so true. And you again will go back to, you can go back to your, the time that you were first in love or the first time you were in love and feel, remember what you felt like in that moment and how it just kind of created this burst of like sunlight out of your heart and everything around you just kind of tingled. And so we're looking to accomplish that and achieve that with ourselves and for ourselves, because once we, once we have that within ourselves, then all the world just opens up to us. So we're just kind of talking love, and we're also offering you an opportunity to shout out who you love or like or are grateful for. If you're just quite not quite there to tell that person that you might be in love them, or maybe admire or lust for them. But today is also a day to shout out who you love. And I, you know, did my shoutouts to my family and my friends, and I am so grateful to each and every one of them who have made a kind of a strange start to the year. It's been a great year, don't get me wrong, and I guess I would probably tell you that even if it it wasn't. But it's been— but it's also been kind of a trying year. It's definitely tested my will, it's tested my determination, it's tested my perseverance, and also my real desire to accomplish the goals and the dreams that I have. And I'm grateful to say that with them reminding me each and every day of what I am contributing to the world world and what you're helping me to contribute to the world out there in the community, that it is worth all of the highs and the lows. And we, we all have them. Remember, we've talked about the fact that people, you know, like a Whitney Houston, like a Michael Jackson, who appear to have everything, even an Oprah Winfrey— and thank God she's still with us— but, you know, people look at these individuals and put them on a pedestal and think that the world must be just, you know, everyday ice cream sundaes because of the fame and the celebrity and the money and the houses and the travel. And yet they struggle with their own bitches. They struggle with their own fears and insecurities and feelings of, you know, self-doubt and unworthiness. And they have their own demons, they have their own inner critics that kind of create a lot of turmoil in their heart and in their head. And so, as opposed to us revering them, we should just appreciate that they're human too. And therefore, each and every one of us, regardless of what the outside looks like, we need to really work on the the inside in order for us to really have a fun, a fulfilled and fun, and fun life. So I can't stress that enough. Let me just take a peek out here because I'm getting some Skype messaging that I just want to make sure I'm addressing. And again, you can reach out to me in any way, shape, or form as it pertains to wanting to do a shout-out, or if you wanted to— if you wanted to just have a— make a comment, give some feedback, provide some— some— a story of your own, feel free to reach out to us at Shedding the Bitch Radio on BlogTalk, or you can dial in at 1-818-572-2910, or you can also You can also reach out to me on sheddingthebitch.com. Okay, so we talked a little bit about really kind of laying the foundation of really appreciating what your dreams and goals are, getting a good understanding of what it is that you're looking to accomplish in this lifetime, looking at all the positives, looking at the skills and talents and achievements and and events and experiences that you bring to the table, if you were to put it into kind of business layman terms. What do you bring to the table that might attribute to your goals and your dreams? And yet even if they don't, those skills and talents made you who you are, which then attributes to the goals and the dreams that you have. So regardless if they have a direct correlation, they're important. And then at the same time, there have been times where you've felt love, whether it's from a parent or a sibling or a friend or, or loved one, an intimate loved one, where you just were content and at peace and fully trusting who that, that individual was, is, and what they bring to your life. So keep that in mind as well when you go to really try to understand what it is, what maybe dent, scratch, or hole in your heart might exist, or that it may not. But if it does, appreciate all of those things, all those things that make you glow, whether someone recognizes or not, but you feel it. And hey, Miss Pretty, I have someone checking in. And really appreciate it because it will be those feelings, it will be those sensations, it will be those— I'm not getting, you know, provocative here, guys— but it'll be those memories that you store that will allow you to keep in mind what, what, you know, opportunities are there, what you have been able to accomplish and achieve and overcome. And therefore to lay a foundation for finding love in yourself and in other people, whether that be family, friends, business, or relationships, is first to make sure you recognize what love really is for you, and then go out and, and, you know, do what you need to do. Dig in deep within yourself to figure out Okay, so what do I have? We've already talked about all that. What do you have? What am I lacking or what am I needing in my life in order for me to then be, you know, fulfilled, completely content, at peace, and kind of whole, if you want to say. And I say that word strangely, so I mean whole as in W-H-O-L-E, not a hole, but H-O-L-E. But I get teased a lot with my, my pseudo Northern Southern accent. But that's what we're talking about. We're talking about love, the foundation being yourself. And then once you have that, all your other relationships, all of the other dreams and your goals, and they— your, your— even your job, your position, all of the, the thought processes you put into all those things will change and might get heightened as a result of you feeling totally at peace and content and happy in your life. And unfortunately, what I'll get a lot of times in talking to women or men, but especially in a room full of like executive women, I will get them challenging whether or not they have to be happy, completely happy, in order to It's kind of going to sound contradictory, but it did to me too. So if you're confused, just think of what I was at the front of a room. But in order to be happy— and I kind of had to throw back at this woman saying, what do you mean? She's like, well, you know, everything that I do have, my possessions and my family and my job, you know, it makes me happy. So what degree, or what, when do I determine whether or not I that happiness is as happy as I can be, or it's just kind of status quo. And I'll throw that out to all of you out there. Is there a time in your life, maybe even now, where, yeah, you're happy? I mean, you know, are you the type that, that says, well, you know, I mean, I could be better, but I'm happy? Or are you the type that doesn't settle for that? And therefore you just might have to deal with just being status quo, but at the same time you're always working on pursuing bigger and better and happier things in your life. And so I looked at this woman and I said, okay, so if you say you're happy, um, it do, you know, do you have everything that you wanted in your life? And I should back up and say, okay, so what was the big— what is the big bucket list or goals or dreams you have for yourself. And actually, I'll say too that I love Tina Marie Jones. Last week she was on the show and she said that she doesn't like the term bucket list, or she doesn't like the concept of bucket list because it's kind of negative. It's kind of like preparing for your death, as opposed to— she calls it her blast list, B-L-A-S-T, blast list. I love that. I think that's a great idea. So if you have a blast list out there, I said at this woman, um, have you accomplished all of it? And if you have not accomplished all of it, how do you feel about that? So you dig a little deep, which we won't do here, but you dig a little deep into those type of questions and, and that type of emotion, and then suddenly you realize— or she realized, with me in this room full of people— that yeah, she was status quo and no, that It wasn't kind of fulfilling for her, and yet what does she do about it? That's always the ultimate question I'm given. What do I do about it? And I would turn that on you, quite honestly, and I turned it on her. I said, "Well, what are you going to do about it? I can't tell you what you're going to do about it." I mean, I certainly can, that's what I do for a living from a consulting and coaching perspective, but I wasn't going to. I said, "You're perfectly, you know, capable You know what you want. What is it that you need to do to accomplish those goals and dreams? And so I just wanted to kind of get her thinking, get, you know, kind of make her really kind of commit to herself and kind of be accountable to herself. Though I definitely propose to anybody and everybody out there, if you do need it, if you do need someone to rely on, someone to support you or guide you or help you find that roadmap, to happiness or life or whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, feel, you know, make sure you do that. At the same time, you're perfectly capable of, of kind of defining these things for yourself. It's just that every once in a while we need someone to kick us in the butt in order to keep us on track, in order to keep us moving forward. So I definitely applaud those of you that do that, and I just kind of tell the rest of you that there's always someone out there, family, friend, professional, that you can lean on should you kind of sense that you're not going forward and really fulfilling what it is that you want to accomplish. And they are there to help kind of kick you in the butt. I mean, I can kind of consider myself the tough love coach, quite honestly, because my goal for each and anyone that I have an opportunity to touch, I want them to accomplish anything and everything that they are, you know, focused on achieving. And whatever that takes is kind of my mantra. And therefore, I do tend to be a little bit of a tough love coach. So I said to this woman, you know, what is it that you need to do in order to accomplish your goals and dreams? And therefore, you know, on what— on us now, on a scale of 1 to 10, would you consider yourself fully happy, fully in love with yourself, fully in love with your life, blah blah blah. And she had to kind of put it on like a scale of, you know, 6 to 7, which actually, you know, isn't horrible. But a lot of people do tend to consider that status quo and stay there. So I just advise all of you and kind of just cheer you on to take a look at what what you want in life and take a look at what all those things that you have and those things that you lack, and then just find that roadmap for yourself. Find that, find that, uh, you know, what would you call it, the, um, Compass. Find the compass that you need to guide you toward those things. And I can guarantee you, you know, should you do that, the question of love on today's program won't be a question at all. And therefore, like I wrote on Facebook, you know, you love yourself first and all of the other love in your life is just going to soar, whether that's family, friends, intimate, intimate relationship, whether that's your career, your business, you know, whatever the case might be. Because without it everything in life gets kind of skewed, gets a little off balance. And even though I, I don't advocate or I don't believe that you can find balance in your life— I don't know about you, but I have yet to find balance in my life. What I've been able to find is kind of a sense of control that, you know, when things kind of in some areas of my life falter, I always hold on to these core beliefs, core emotions, core faith, core support that then, you know, helps me to kind of pick that, that faltering or that falling, you know, area of my life up a little bit. And then I just kind of teeter-totter, like almost like on a seesaw seesaw. And that's what I think life is. And if you can find the tools and the techniques to keep, to keep that seesaw moving and to keep, you know, all of those, those balloons in the air that we all tend to have in our lives moving and going up— some are going to come down, but some are going to go up and some are going to come down— then I think that, that for me and maybe for you is what real kind of happiness and achievement and success is. And then of course, since we're talking love today, if you know, you find that sense of self-love for yourself, then you know, you can just, you can accomplish just about anything. And yet I know so many women and men that struggle with really kind of putting themselves out there and pursuing, pursuing what it is that they really want in life. And if they can just take, you know, 5 minutes a day to kind of dig in to figure out why that is. I keep a journal. If any of you— oh, I don't have it in front of me. I was gonna say, if any of you are watching on video, I typically have my journal sitting right next to me. And one of the tools or tips that I would leave you with is 2 is what I do each morning, and that is— well, 2, I guess. Before I jump out of bed, I stay, I sit still, and I kind of assess what's going on in my head and my heart and my body, physically, emotionally, you know, mentally, spiritually. And I won't jump up, and trust me, that's hard for me. I'm extremely hyper. But I won't jump up until I can adjust those levers or adjust those, those areas of my being that might be a little skewed. Because I can't get up in the morning and kind of be in a nasty mood or a sad mood or a doubtful mood or a low self-esteem mood and go out and, you know, kind of— this is gonna sound really preachy and I don't mean it to be— but serve the world, so to speak, you know, whether that's personally or professionally. Professionally. I just don't feel like I'm, you know, in integrity, so to speak, doing that unless I am kind of whole. And so it doesn't mean that I'm not, or you're not, going to go out in the world and still feel a little bit of angst or sadness or stress. At the same time, you're conscious of it, and once you're conscious and aware of it, you always have an opportunity to influence it. So that's the first one, is I kind of sit there for, even if it takes like up to 5 minutes, I set my snooze alarm, and I'll just kind of assess and adjust. And I would say 9 out of 10 times it works. It works to where if I am feeling a little low or lethargic or didn't sleep well, um, I can adjust that and influence what's going on in my head. Because I'll tell you, we talk a lot about it, everything about ourselves, our self-love, our success, our riches has to do with our head. It has to do with our head. It has to do with our heart too, and considering the fact that they're not very far from each other, it's amazing, amazing how much the head games can wreak havoc on the heart. So if we can get the heart under control and the head at the same time, then 9 out of 10 chance you're, you know, things are going to be good. So you do that first. But then what I'll also do is I'll kind of do a double check because the minute I wake up, I don't know about you, what your kind of routine is, but the minute I wake up, I go right into the shower. And so some people go and eat, some people go read the newspaper and kind of work their way into the day. I tend to, you know, jump out, jump into the shower, get, get, you know, myself ready for the day, and then I come out and I eat. And when I eat, I sit— kind of stand there rather— at my counter, and there's my journal. And I will actually write down now what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, how I, you know, overall feel physically, because again, I want to stay conscious and aware of what I'm doing. So those are just kind of a couple of little tips that you could use to make sure that you're putting your best foot foot forward and you're really considering yourself first, because everything and anything that you're feeling, good or bad, is going to get projected onto everyone else around you, whether it's your kids, your spouse, your partner, your pet, you know, your, your community, the people at your work, whatever the case might be. So if you can stay aware and conscious of those things then you can influence them and manage and control them. And if you're a control freak like I am, I'm not as much anymore, but I, you know, I like the idea that I can use kind of this control freak attitude in a positive way now, as opposed to all the negative things that I used to do, because I just finally, after, you know, I admitted earlier that I turned 50 a couple weeks ago, but I finally you know, got to a point in my life a few years ago where I can't control it. And things are, you know, I can't control those things that are out of my control, which is about 99% of life. And therefore the 1% is what's going on in my head and my heart. And that's what I'll throw out to you as well, is definitely take control of what, you know, what things you can influence. And that definitely is what's going on in your head and your heart. So you're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio, and this is Love Day on Shedding the Bitch Radio because it's Valentine's. And if any of you have a shout-out, you can, and you just want to say I love you, I thank you, I like you, I'm not quite there with the love yet, I would love to hear it. I would love to share it if you wanted to, and you can even chat in or or write in on Facebook if you don't want to necessarily call in to 1-818-572-2910 and kind of share your, share your shout out. And I've been shouting out all through the program too, not only just to family and friends, but I have a great network and community of people professionally that I can always reach out to. And when I'm kind of struggling with staying motivated or focused or productive in my professional life, they are there. Also personally, but they are there and I can pick up the phone and go, "Oh my God, please help. I just can't seem to get unstuck or, you know, out of my own way," I guess is the bottom line. And so, a big shout out. There's so many of them. Gosh, that I rely on. Joan, Kay, Bonnie, Terry, Lori, Karen. I mean, you know, the list could go on and on. And yes, they're mostly women, but then I have, you know, Wayne and Roy and Larry and Ed and Jay. I mean, there's just so many people. So hopefully you have a network too. Hopefully you have a core group, whether it's professional personally or professionally, that when you're doubting yourself, when your love for yourself is quite not there, and therefore it's impacting the rest of your life, then, you know, hopefully you have that person you could pick up the phone and cry to, laugh to, vent to, bitch out if you need to, as long as it's to yourself, not to the other person, but kind of just purge it and let it go. And I'm gonna just take a look while we're just sitting here right now real quick. I'm just gonna, because I've had some comments coming through on Skype actually, and then I'm gonna look at Facebook just real quick. And, and remember, we got some great topics coming up in the next several weeks as well. We have Patty Farmer next week. She is the CEO, the networking CEO, and she is a blast. So I expect a lot of laughs, a lot of great stories, a lot of bantering between the two of us, and hopefully with all of you. But Patti Farmer will be on next week. The week after is Mr. Greg Reid, the ultimate motivational speaker out there, author of Three Feet from Gold as well as Think and Grow Rich. And he is just someone I greatly admire and look up to. I'll actually see him personally that week after. I'll be meeting with him and a bunch of other people in San Diego. But Greg, if you want to be inspired, motivated, and challenged— I like to think I challenge all of you too— but if you want to be challenged, join us Tuesday the 27th, and we're gonna have a great day. And I hope I have that date right, because for some reason it's screaming in my head that it's not. But 2 Tuesdays from now, and I'll make sure that I have the date, uh, the next time. But, uh, that's Greg Reed. And then I mentioned in March, we're solidifying the date, but, um, Jonathan Asley, um, he is— his website is understandmennow.com. So women out there, understandmennow.com. Or I'm sorry, understandmennow.com. He'll be joining us, and I came across him on Facebook this time last year. He deals with relationships, helping women and men to understand men so we can actually make our relationships stronger and better. And so, uh, try to get him here today, but you know, being a relationship coach, I'm sure he was slammed today. And so we'll kind of extend this month of into March and have him kind of share with you what we need to know about men so we can handle our relationships better. And I want to talk to him about talking to you about personal and professional ways to understand men, because we talk quite a bit here on Shedding the Bitch Radio and in all of kind of our programs around really the men and and women dynamic as it pertains to even our careers and our business— own businesses and professions. So I think it's important for us to have a full 360-degree view of each other, men and women, so we can kind of optimize and maximize the relationships no matter what kind we have with each other. So that's what's going on over the next several weeks, and I want to challenge you too. We talked about several things today as it pertains to you needing to find the foundation of your own self-love, love for yourself, in order for all your other relationships and the other loves in your life to soar, whether they are people loves or their relationships or they're— they are careers or passions and dreams. And therefore, we talked about first identifying what those goals and dreams are that you have for yourself. The reason to do that is because when any of us are pursuing a passion or a dream or a goal that we have, whether we defined it on a piece of paper or it was just kind of in our head, that in itself is a respect and love for yourself. It's really appreciating and taking care of yourself when you're fine, when you've defined a dream or goal that you have and you started pursuing pursuing it. And the best way to start pursuing it is, we talked about, is to recognize what are all the positives, whether, what are the skills and the talents and the experiences and the accomplishments and achievements and the people in your life, what are all of those assets in your life that you possess right now that could attribute right now to those goals and dreams? Because I have tons of people that will come to me and be like, Well, I don't know the first thing to do about going about my goals, or I don't possess what it's going to take for me to accomplish this goal. And I can guarantee you, because I'm a testament of this, if you had told me 3 years ago I was building an entertainment media publishing company, or empire as some people might say, I would have just been like, you are crazy. I come from an IT retail business background, and yet You know, knowing of all the skills and achievements and resources from my past, they've just contributed greatly to everything that I'm working on right now. So I want you to think about all those things first and really own them and honor them and appreciate them for what you've accomplished in your, you know, your life, whether that's 20 years or 60 years. And then from there What do you need? What are those things you lack? What are the skills and talents and, you know, experiences you need? And even what are those bitches? What are those inner fears, doubts, insecurities, negative mindsets, belief systems? You have to get a hold of those. You have to own them. You have to face them in the mirror because it won't matter what, you know, all those other things are if you don't address those as well. And then once you do address those, you will see that you can basically accomplish anything and everything, whether you have those skills, talents, and achievements or you don't. But all of those other things will not matter to your ultimate goal and dream if you don't have an empowered mindset first. And that's exactly what Shedding the Bitch is all about. It's challenging that paradigm that you just need skills and talents to be successful. An empowered mindset is critical and it's a prerequisite in achieving the riches life has to offer. And if you don't believe me or you don't, you know, you think this is hogwash, ask anyone that has any degree of success in your eyes and/or in the world's eyes and ask them, Were they able to accomplish it when they were down or negative about themselves or doubted themselves? You know, look at those people that you revere and yet have fallen from grace or unfortunately have passed away. This hour has been kind of dedicated to Whitney, and they'll even tell you that they still lacked, they still were consumed with these inner bitches, which led them to to whether it's addiction or whether it's overeating or whether it's some other compulsive behavior, whatever it is, self-sabotaging themselves, it's because they still didn't address shedding those bitches out of their heart and head so they can go and create the riches they want in life. So that's what we talk about here, that's what we do here, that's what I'm honored and I love you contributing to and participating in. Participating in each and every week with Shedding the Bitch Radio, Tuesdays at noon Eastern time, in our programs, in our— on our website we have forums, what we call niches, bitch niches, that you can contribute to. And, you know, also keep an eye on all the different ways and events like our Shedding the Bitch parties that we have. We'll be having retreats and other programs that will really help you Discover, confront, and shed the bitches that consume you so you can create and accelerate the riches in life. So this is Bernadette Boas, and for everybody here at Shedding the Bitch, thank you so much for joining us today, and we will talk with you next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. So everybody have a great Love Day, and shout out to everybody out there. I love you very much, and thank you for loving me back. Talk to you soon.