It's My Birthday and Your Day to Get GIFTS!!!!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/sheddingthebitch or share Share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone. Happy, happy Tuesday. And it's a happy birthday for me! Woo! It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. And that's what we're going to talk about today is birthdays. But before we get there, I hope everybody is having a good, fun, warm day maybe depending upon where you are in the world. I was just talking to Deborah before we jumped on. As you all know, I'm in Atlanta. And we have a couple things going on. And it's all centered around also a couple of things. One being this Sunday, being in Atlanta, you, unless you've been living under a rock, you know that this Sunday we are hosting 1 million visitors into the city for Super Bowl 53. So everything that we've been planning for and dealing with and having to be very patient about is all centered around getting ready and building up for the Super Bowl Sunday, including—

they've been doing, and they might be doing it while we're broadcasting, but hopefully my microphone will keep it—

keep the noise out— but they've been doing these roofline flyovers. It's been unbelievable. All throughout— I'm only about 3.5 miles from the stadium, uh, in the— on the north side of, of downtown, and the, and the, uh, stadium's on the west side. And they have been telling us for a while now that they were going to be doing these, uh, security flyovers yesterday, today, and then periodically throughout the, throughout the week. And basically they're kind of testing and just looking out for any type of threats or any type of situations that might be occurring, and plus just ensuring the security of the city during this week.

So that's been pretty awesome.

And then the other thing that we're all stressing about, at least the media I should say, is we're celebrating today, not only my birthday, but we're celebrating our 5-year anniversary of Snowmageddon.

So if you recall back in 2014 on January 29th, the city shut down because we had a massive ice storm, not a snowstorm, but a massive ice storm that basically shut down all the major highways because at the time the entire city of Atlanta probably had 2 salt trucks.

So for those of you in the, you know, in the Midwest, even the West, but the Midwest and Northeast kind of understand you know, you have, you need a lot of salt trucks when it comes to snowstorms and ice storms and whatnot. Well, Atlanta is in the South, so we've only had really two as of 2015. So our highways with tens of thousands of cars on them were literally shut down for hours, almost like 15 hours people were stuck on the highway and/or they left their car and walked home. And so there's always been that, the fear of that. Well, all of a sudden we're hearing about this, this snowstorm coming through, or this— what were they calling it— a weather situation coming through. And they started really raising, you know, raising up the, the threat level to the point where schools were closing as of yesterday morning. Schools were closing. We were getting texts about the government offices closing. Banks were closing. Libraries were closing. Then my gym told me last, or, you know, text us last night saying they were closed. And all this kind of heavy, heavy threat. Well, as many of you know, I— my studio sits under very large skylights in my guest house, and I look up and it's as clear as it could be. Yes, it's cloudy, but it's clear. There was some drizzle drizzle, mind you. And yes, we are going to get down to 24, 25 tonight, um, but I cannot imagine where any type of snow is coming through while it's only going to be 40-something all through the day and not drop until late this evening. So I have a feeling that, um, we were kind of made fun of because of the Snowmageddon, and I think we're going to be making fun of we can't win because of this overreaction. But I guess, you know, the politicians will come out and say, better safe than sorry. And all I know is, I mentioned last week that as part of my 2019 goals, I signed up, um, quite obliviously, uh, for an improv class, which I started last Tuesday night. And when we talked about it on the show last week, and I was— I'm really looking forward to tonight's session. So I'm really hoping that nothing comes about for this storm, not only for the, for the city, but selfishly, because that's how I was going to be spending my birthday, was hanging out with you today and then going to my improv class tonight. A friend of mine dropped off, even though she knows I'm on Weight Watchers, so it's really irritating, but she drops off a full-size Chocolate fudge cake. Not a piece of cake, not even 2 pieces of cake, but a damn full-size chocolate fudge cake. And it's lovely, it says happy birthday on it. But I, I said to her, I go, you're trying to sabotage my Weight Watchers. So I guess I'm putting off Weight Watchers at least until Monday of next week. And if you wonder why Monday, go back and listen to last week's episode. And you'll, you'll understand my little OCD about when I kind of start and reset the button and all that kind of good stuff. But anyway, all that said, I do hope everyone's doing well, and if you are in an eye of a storm, whether that's from Mother Nature or from your internal demons, then I just hope that you find some sunlight and some light at the end of that tunnel, end of that wave. But what I thought we could do today is a couple of things. One, I started thinking about as the birthday wishes started coming in, and you have to love social media because where is, you know, I have a very large family as all of you know, but, and a large circle of friends, so I get a lot of birthday wishes. And those are always plenty. And yet when you're, you know, on Facebook or Twitter or LinkedIn and the next thing you know you have hundreds if not thousands of birthday wishes coming in. It is, it is quite fun.

So I have been sitting here all morning.

I should be working, but I have been responding to all those birthday wishes. But I did, so through that, over the last few days, I started having conversations with people, friends predominantly, talking about how some people like celebrating their birthdays, some people hate it.

Some people just feel kind of, um, alone when it comes to their birthdays.

And then there is me, who, you know, not only likes celebrating birthdays, but I really, really, really ensure that I am relishing in my birthday. That, you know, although I, you know, I want people, including myself, honoring themselves all throughout the year. But I, since I was a child, a very young child, my parents made a big deal over birthdays, which was beautiful. Even with 12 kids, you know, we always knew that on our birthday we got to eat whatever we wanted. We got to tell my mother which, you know, special flavor of cake we wanted. You know, my brothers and sisters would always make handmade something.

So my family always made a big deal over birthdays, so I always cherished them.

And they all also— my parents made a big deal over the fact that we should celebrate you know, our birthdays and ourselves and really, you know, sit back and appreciate kind of who we are. And yet I do understand the struggle of, uh, when, when people say they do not. So, I thought to myself, okay, this is a really important month of any new year, January, because our previous episode has talked about not only goal setting but the excuses we make for not pursuing, let alone achieving, our goals. And then how to reset that button and how to get over our, uh, our bitches in our heads that kind of sabotage our, our goals. And this is one of them. It just so happens my birthday is at the beginning of the year, um, but at the same time, it's— it is, uh, something that does send us kind of, um, down a rabbit hole if we're not careful.

So I thought we would talk about it.

I thought we would talk about the reasons people don't enjoy their birthdays, and then I just thought I would try to provide some, some tips and pieces of advice for you to really, as we say here, you want to shed your bitches and honor your riches. So we want to be honoring your riches, and that's honoring you on your special day. And if you happen to be one, I have a friend of mine, Kay, she celebrates all month. Celebrates her birthday the minute it gets into her birthday month. You know, her birthday is all month. A friend of mine the other day had mentioned to me that she celebrates at least for the— actually, he told me his wife celebrates the whole week. So however you, you know, you choose to celebrate and/or at least if you're not celebrating it, you're at least uh, let's just say— I don't want to say anything negative, but more so, if it's not a day that brings great joy and optimism and motivation, I want to see if I can change that for you today. And because it is my birthday, I, you know, I'll be honest with you, I don't mind receiving gifts. You know how people will be like, oh, I don't like to receive gifts, I don't need to receive gifts, oh, I'd rather give gifts. And I do. I'd rather— I would love to give gifts.

I mean, that is what brings me great joy is to be able to shower others prior to myself.

But at the same time, you know, being one of 12 kids and always getting kind of— and I love homemade gifts and whatnot. I also have always been taught to appreciate when someone wants to, you know, give you a gift. I do not go asking for them, but I am not going to also disrespect anyone who wants to give me a gift. Now, I kind of did this morning with my friend who brought me a full-size cake. I was like, what are you doing? But at the same time, um, I always ensure that I at least receive it with grace and gratitude because this individual, you know, whoever it might be for you, went out of their way, even if it was to sit down and write out a card versus go to a store and buy a card, whatever the case might be.

So I always want to receive that with grace.

So, and with that said, I want to shower you with gifts.

So here's how you can receive a gift.

If you go to Shedding the Bitch Radio on BlogTalkRadio, first go and follow us— follow, subscribe, it might be— and to our Shedding the Bitch radio program. And of course it's a podcast, and of course there's other places like Apple Podcasts and whatnot that you can go and download the episodes from. But go there and subscribe, follow, whatever they ask you to do. But then go to our Shed the Bitch Facebook page. All right, if you haven't liked us there, please do. But also share with us just a comment or two. Doesn't have to be anything great. You can wish me a happy birthday if you'd like, but if not, share with us how you celebrate your special day, your you day, your birthday. And if you're not a fan of celebrating your birthday, then just make a comment on that. No one's going to be judging it. Just, you know, it's just some way of engaging with Deborah, myself, and the Shed the Bitch community.

And By doing so, I will be sending you a free signed copy of my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch.

Now many people have asked me, of course I'd love them to buy it, but many people have asked me how can they kind of earn or be gifted a copy of the book, especially with my signature on it, and I thought to myself, now that I'm writing this second sequel to that book. I'll make sure that as many of you as possible, you know, get an opportunity to read the first, the original, as a way of kind of then working your way into the second book, which I'll mention in a second. But I want to just gift you with something, so I thought I'd gift you with my story and my tips and advice for the experiences and the journey that I've been through. And the number one question I get is, How Did You Shed Your Bitches? So I'd like to gift that to you, and all you need to do is go and subscribe to our Shedding the Bitch radio channel on BlogTalkRadio, and then go to Facebook, our Shedding the Bitch page, and like us and just make a comment, either a shout-out to me and Deborah.

You can say, hey, you know, my birthday is June 1st and I love celebrating birthdays.

You might say, you know what, I'm not a fan. Of celebrating birthdays, but you know, good for you, whatever the case might be. And by doing so, I'll reach back to you and make sure that you receive a free copy of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Okay, so I'll mention that a couple of times throughout the program, and I'll make sure Deborah is posting that on Facebook and Twitter as to how you can get a hold of your own copy of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Now that comes with a thank you, a thank you to Deborah directly, and then a thank you to all of you. And this is why. If you missed last week's episode, go back and listen to it. It certainly started off for me as merely just another episode, and and then just minutes before, as Deborah and I were talking prior to the program going live, she gave me a piece of advice that has helped tremendously over the last week, and that got me to this point of even what I mentioned about the second book, the sequel to the first book. So a little bit of background, but then you can go back and, and check out that episode from last week, and again, it'll be on the Shedding the Bitch radio channel on BlogTalk, it'll be on iTunes, and I was just working on making sure that it was up on our sheddingthebitch.com radio channel page.

But it was all about excuses, shedding the excuses that kill your dreams.

So how do you shed all the excuses we tell ourselves in order for you to overcome them and and be able to, you know, achieve your dreams. So prior to getting on the program last week, I had simply mentioned to Deborah that, you know, it is not like myself to not have my goals and my plans for a new year kind of firmly in place and be very excited about them. And I had mentioned to her, even despite being sick and drained and not really even having worked yet, and last week was what, the 15th, maybe the 20th, actually, 21st, I had still not really gotten into even executing on anything. And she just simply said, you know what, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Maybe you're just focused on what you need to be doing right now at this very moment in time. For instance, right now, preparing and then executing on this episode, this radio program. And so she mentioned that last week. She said maybe you just need to be doing what you need to be doing and getting done what you need to get done as opposed to anything new, any big plans, any big, you know, grand scheme that I might want to and feel like I should already have in place for the new year. And I'll be honest with you, it gave me a tremendous amount of breath. Which I was lacking physically anyway from bronchitis, but it gave me a lot of breath. And I was hoping it also was, um, uh, echoing to you to do the same, that if you're feeling pressure from yourself or others, whether it's, you know, people in the family or people at work, you know, in regards to what it is that you're going to be accomplishing and achieving and earning and doing this year, and you're not quite there yet, you're not quite, um you know, galled out, so to speak, than to just take a breath and be okay that you're doing and you're being exactly what you're supposed to at this very, very, very moment in time. Well, over the past week, that's given me a lot of food for thought and a lot of opportunity to just relax, sit back, enjoy my friends, enjoy my home, enjoy my work that I was doing, And then, over the last couple of days, with these birthday wishes coming through, and conversations with people, all of a sudden I started getting, feeling a shift within myself, and feeling, and people asking me questions like, without explaining to them the, you know, kind of the pressure I was feeling, I just, we just simply started having questions. And someone said to me, well, what do you want to be doing with your book, and your scripts, and the things that you're doing around shedding the corporate bitch, and What are the things people are asking you for? Like, why do you devote yourself so much to this radio program? Anyway, long story short, that's when I started talking about the fact that, well, the number one question people have always asked me is how did I go through my shedding the bitch transformation? How did I change? Can people really change? And I've gotten a lot of flack about that over the last, you know, 8 years. There's, oh, people can't change, people don't change. And I was, I'd get quite adamant.

From that comment because it is so untrue.

People do change. And people can change. And all of a sudden I felt myself finally over the last, you know, several weeks of kind of struggling with this, feeling passion towards something. Even if it was out of angst. Even if it was out of the fact that I was kind of getting a little bit pissy at the fact that people were pushing back on this idea of people being able to change. So that brought me to talking about what I would write about if I were to do a sequel. And the next thing you know, this group of people that I was hanging out with Saturday, I believe it was, were all like, "I would definitely want to know that and understand that and even go through and experience that myself." You know, you should, not you need to, but you should think about, you know, kind of doing that sequel. And that brings me to today and yesterday thinking, okay, so I am going to write this book. Right now, the only, I have two titles, like, you know, Shift from Bitch to Rich: The Formula, or it's gonna be centered around Confessions of a Bitch, 'cause, you know, working through and telling you honestly why I was the person I was and how I changed is also something that I'm passionate about. So that sequel will be— is currently— I already have 3 pages worth of notes that I've taken over the last couple days. So that's already in the works, and as a thank you for that, I'd love for you to continue to follow us on Shedding the Bitch Radio as well as on Shedding the Bitch Facebook, even Twitter. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. Follow our radio program on BlogTalkRadio, go to Facebook on Shedding the Bitch, like our page, just do a shout out regarding your birthday, whether you like it or not like it, and I will get back with— back with you to get you an autographed copy of, uh, the Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Rich— from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Okay, all right. I did not expect to take that much time on that part of this conversation, so we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to talk about birthdays, honoring your riches, And for those of you who relish, continue relishing. And for those of you who struggle, you know, just a bit when it comes to really honoring yourself and your birthday, then I just want to kind of give you some food for thought. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity. So they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com. Gtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, we are talking talking birthdays. Whether you like them and relish in them or whether you might struggle or even try to hide or run, run for the hills when it comes to your birthday. A lot of— there's a lot of reasons why people don't enjoy birthdays. So let's paint that picture first because I think it's always important as we discuss that we are really honest and aware of what it, what it is that might be causing us resistance or causing us angst or causing us insecurity or doubt or just a feeling of blah at times. And a lot of us, when we're feeling it, don't necessarily sit in it and really work to understand it. Because if they did, then they probably would, would say to themselves, well, wait a minute, there is a solution to every problem. There is a solution to every negative emotion. It took me a long time, a long time, you know, even decades, to get from being a woman that always saw the glass half empty to the woman that saw it half full is not full and never empty, or never even half empty. And so, you know, like we were talking about at the top of the hour, is the ability for one to change. But in order to do so, what I really have learned— it's been slammed over my head multiple times over the last 10 years— is you can only change what you're aware of, what you're honest about.

What you're willing to change, but you can change.

But some of the things that get people hung up when it comes to, uh, celebrating birthdays specifically that we're talking about today is just purely fear. It's fear of aging. It's fear of not being where they expected to be at whatever age it is that they're, they're hiding from. It's not being the success or a degree of success that they were hoping for and planning for. Maybe, you know, they're at an age that they expected to be married, expected to have kids, expected to be a director or a VP or a C-level executive making a certain amount of money, living in a certain type of house, driving a certain type of car with a certain set of friends. So fear just takes over. And I can certainly relate to this one. Excuse me. Even as I came into this year, into this birthday, when you think about, you know, I never really thought about aging until I became 50. I think it was like 53 or 54. I turned 57 today. Woo-hoo! But it was '53 or '54, and I'm not sure why it was those dates, those ages, but where I did start sensing my mortality and sensing that, oh my gosh, I'm soon going to be 60, and then I'm going to be 70. Oh my God, then I'm going to be 80, you know, and it's a whole different idea in your head about how individuals in those ages live versus when you're in your kind of prime, so to speak, of, you know, even 35 to 50. And then of course when you're totally naïve in your teens and 20s and early 30s. But then I saw Jane Fonda on, I think it was Ellen. She just turned 82. And she— so Ellen said something to the effect of, you know, so does that worry you, scare you? And make you concerned about opportunities for your career, your life. And Jane very, without even missing a beat, just said, "No, I have more opportunities and I see more mountains to climb in front of me than I ever have before because in those other earlier years I was just too blind and too oblivious to the fact that those mountains existed and those opportunities and challenges were there." And I just thought to myself, wow. So I would hope, and if you ever, if you have an opportunity, go and Google even the interview. It's an interview between not only Ellen and Jane Fonda, but then Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as a result of Frankie and Grace, Gracie? Frankie and Gracie? That they're in together. They did this like 10-minute interviewing of each other in regards to all areas of their life. You know, from husbands and partners to drugs to sex to everything. And they're very, both very candid.

I think one's 81, one's 82.

They're both very candid. And it really again kind of made me appreciate the future ahead, you know, is a lot more glorious than it is, it should be scary for any of us. So, but yet many of you fear, all of those things about not being in the station of life that you should at the age that you are. Others feel and, and do not want any acknowledgment or recognition or attention on themselves for their birthdays because they just do not feel that they are special enough to be treated and honored by their family and friends. So they retreat or hide or ignore or put up this face or this attitude of, you know, I, I don't care about birthdays, I don't want to be celebrating. And, and just like the fear, many people have this idea that, you know, they set themselves up for these great expectations of a birthday or a celebration, just like they do for like New Year's Eve, and they're often disappointed at what they had in their head and then what kind of transpired. So instead of setting themselves up for disappointment, they tell themselves, "I would rather just not do anything." Now, I will tell you, apart from the, you know, "I am not special," I, because I have never really suffered from that. So if I can help you relate. Like I said, my family, my parents always made all of us feel unique and special for our birthdays. And which was, you know, a beautiful, beautiful thing and a beautiful attitude and confidence to instill in us. But I will say, like I mentioned, you know, I definitely have suffered from the fear of, of aging, aging. And I even dealt with the expectations not being met. You know, when you do think that you are going to have these big, grandiose birthday celebrations and then they kind of fizzle out or fall flat, or, you know, the expectation you put in your head didn't, you know, materialize. Yet at the same time, when you think about it, you could also be just as celebratory and feeling honored and special and relish in who you are by me— you know, simply going out and buying yourself a nice, you know, steak dinner with a piece of cake and a bottle of wine and sitting at home by yourself and, you know, kind of celebrating you with you, if that's the case. If you're not one for a lot of attention or a lot of crowds or a lot of big celebrations. So think about what fear or what insecurity or doubt do you have that keeps you from really wanting to celebrate your birthday? Because you only get one of them. You only get the one birthday that you have. You have a lot of birthdays, let's knock on wood and, you know, bless the Lord that you'll have a lot of birthdays, but you only have that one. I'll only have today. I'll only have this one 57, uh, birthday. Uh, so why wouldn't I want to have fun with it? And trust me, I won't be doing, you know, anything grandiose. I'll be sitting here responding to all my lovely well wishes coming through both my phone and my laptop and cards and this little orchid that I have plant in front of me. And then I'll go off and I'll hopefully will play pickleball later with friends and then I'll go to my improv class. And that'll be a wonderful birthday for me. What would make your birthday special? No matter how simple or how grandiose it is. So then when you look back on your 20th, 35th, 42nd, 57th, 72nd year, you can kind of just reminisce with a smile of what, you know, and how you celebrated your birthday. But should you Excuse me. But should you, you know, kind of just feel like you're not there yet, then I just want to provide you just a few little things to consider, to think about, to sit with, even to kind of meditate on, journal on, and see if there's something that you're not necessarily being truthful about. Some people, you know, and for those of us on the receiving end of someone who might be struggling with wanting to honor their, you know, riches and relish in their birthday, we need to pay attention to that because if you've ever done it yourself, there's oftentimes people who will say, I don't want to go out. I don't want any type of party. I don't want gifts. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't need it, blah, blah, blah. And yet it's actually a cry for some special attention. It's a cry for some relishment. It's a cry for a nice hug or a pretty card or a nice flower or maybe just a friend to listen. To talk and listen to. So we also need to be on the receiving end. We need to be open and present and intentional about really understanding what that other person might be, might be actually saying, even, you know, with that subtext that they're actually conveying without necessarily using words to express it. So I want to share with you, and I think I'm going to just take a break real quick if you don't mind and get some water, and then I want to come back and I want to share with you some tips. But keep in mind, I want to give you gifts. So if you go out to our Shedding the Bitch radio, radio page on BlogTalkRadio, so you go to blogtalkradio.com, look for Shedding the Bitch Radio, and and subscribe or follow, um, the program. I should know that, but I'm not on it right now. I will do that while we're on break, or I'll have Deborah do it. Then go and do that because we'd love for you to continue to be part of the community. And then go to, uh, Shedding the Bitch on Facebook and like our page. If you've already liked it, thank you. And then just share with us your birthday. Let us know when you're going to be celebrating you. And, um, and/or tell us that you're not really big on birthdays. And just engage with us, just comment or do a shout-out either to myself, to Deborah, to both, and let's start a conversation. As a result of doing that, as a gift for doing that, I will reach out to you and I'll get you an autographed copy of my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. And you can kind of read that and truly understand how my shedding process took place, my journey.

And then it'll be a nice lead-in to Shifting from Bitch to Rich, the sequel that I'm currently working on.

All right, so we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

All right. I am here, and it would be great that if I was having a coughing attack and putting the phone on mute that I would remember to unmute it. I did this last week as well, so I apologize. I just didn't want to be hacking in your ears.

But welcome back everybody, we are talking birthdays and we are wanting to shower you with gifts on my birthday, which is today.

And by doing so, I will be, I will send you a copy of my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. So you can either go to BlogTalkRadio and follow the program, or you can go to Shedding the Bitch Facebook page and like our page and then do a shout out to the community.

Tell us, you know, your feelings about—

excuse me— your feelings about birthdays and/or how you might celebrate your birthday. You might even share with us when your birthday is so we can be sure that we're there and we're sending you some love on your own birthday. Now, I totally get it when some people say that they're not big fans of birthdays, and some people Because I've been accused of, what would you call it, of being too, not needy, but trying to grab too much attention, a little bit of arrogance, a little bit of self-centeredness by wanting to kind of celebrate my birthday and by letting people know it's my birthday. And when I do that, trust me when I say, I don't do it for attention. I do it because I'm really proud that, you know, I've been above ground and I've been living a life that I'm proud of for 57 years. Now, trust me when I say, you know, not every one of those 57 years I'm necessarily proud of, but I don't live in regret. So I just feel that it's important for each and every one of us to relish in when we came onto this earth, when we came into this world, when we came into our being and our community and our family. And, you know, the fact that— and we always talk about honoring your riches— there is a beautiful thing and, and being within each one of us. You might not feel it, you might, you know, be beating yourself up about it, but— and you might not need to shout it from the rooftops, Yet at the same time, you don't want to be judging or quieting other people that do want to celebrate their life and do want to even share it with other people. Now there is a difference between boasting and being arrogant and being self-centered.

To just an individual who is not expecting anything in return for them wanting to just kind of honor and celebrate their lives.

And I just happen to be one of those latter people, you know, those individuals that I'm not expecting anything, I just want to kind of take time and really just appreciate the fact that I am still breathing. You know, God's given me an opportunity to live another day.

See another smile, you know, be warmed by another sun, sunrise.

So, and I think it is important for each and every one of us to do that at some point. If it is not all the time, if it is not every year, it is at some point. So, what can you be doing in order to, if you do struggle with relishing in your in your birth day, what can you do to kind of shift that and change that? Well, it comes really— it does come down to what we have always talked about, and that is being aware and being honest and truthful in regards to why you're feeling what you're feeling and how that's impacting you, good, bad, or indifferent. So the first thing I would just have you do is to take a few moments at any point in time, but since we're talking about it today, you can leverage today to really think about how do you feel about your birthday? How do you feel about celebrating your birthday? How do you feel about other people relishing or honoring you or showering you with attention? With what— it could be gifts, it could be greetings, it could be blessings. You know, how do you— what fears do you have about putting yourself out there? Because that is what it's about.

It's, you know, it is a degree of putting yourself out there, even if it's to yourself.

And what I mean by that is one of those fears we talked about earlier is that it was the expectations, you know, getting high expectations and then being disappointed. And that often comes with you know, social media especially creates this, is, well, I could put it out there. What if I have a birthday party and no one shows up? What if I put it out there that it's my birthday and I don't get any, you know, greetings back, or I don't get any likes? You know, a lot of young people deal with, you know, this total insecurity that social media creates because they put these things out there hoping to get followers and likes, and then just beat themselves up when they don't. Well, put all that aside, and, and, well, I'm sorry, before you put it aside, if those are things that you get caught up in, if you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, um, allow yourself to get pulled down into thinking those things and feeling those things as a result of when it comes to your birthday, then make note of that. I mean, pay attention. And be truthful to yourself in regards to that.

Because then, once you are aware of it, and I would hope—

I'm looking at a journal right now that I use to kind of jot down things. But— and I would hope that you can put it in writing for yourself. Because once you see it in black and white, you almost start rolling your eyes about it. You know, you put your truth in, you know, pen. Or pencil, even crayon, or on your computer, and all of a sudden you're looking at it going, "Really? Is that really what I'm thinking and feeling?" And you want to be able to say, "Yes, it is, obviously, because that's what I wrote," without editing and scripting. And then you just want to look at it and say, well, you know, is the FEAR acronym correct? And that FEAR acronym being false evidence appearing real. So is that real, you know, real belief, real feelings that people have toward me or don't have toward me? Or am I making it up and allowing it to really just exasperate my confidence and my self-esteem? So think about that.

Be honest with it.

And good or bad, truth or not, just kind of confront it. So we talk about our Shift to Riches Formula: Discover it, confront it, because then you can come up with solutions for shedding it, which is what I would, you know, hope that you'd be able to do then is say, oh, okay, well, wait a minute, you know, if— so what if I put, put myself out there and I have a party or have a dinner, or a friend offers to have a party and I say yes, and only 3 people show up, or only 3 people like me or follow me, or, you know, share my post. Well, you know what, it's not about quantity, it's about quality of the people and the things that you have in your life and the things that you feel within yourself. It's all about the quality of it. So take stock. It's your birthday, so take stock of your life.

If you've had great accomplishments, acknowledge them.

If you've had great adventures, acknowledge that. If you've had major obstacles or missteps or— I hate the word failures, but too many of you use it, so I'll use it. You know, if you've had things that you haven't quite gotten right, well, admit it. Acknowledge it.

Confess to it.

Confront it. Because then you can just look at it and say, you know what, I can either try again or I'm just going to put it aside and move on to something different. But you, you know, but you definitely want to be able to look at both sides of the columns, so to speak. You know, I always tell you, you know, put a line down the middle of a page.

On one side you could put your bitches, on the other side you could put your riches.

So the bitches are your negativities, your fears, your insecurities, your doubts, maybe your, you know, missteps and your obstacles and the things you didn't quite get right. List them all out. On the right-hand side, you honor your riches of achievements and accomplishments and adventures and experiences and, you know, and great things that might have happened to you. And kind of look at both of them and kind of then evaluate, take stock of where you are today and where you want to go next. And of course, that always brings you into, you know, having that opportunity to to do it differently tomorrow. But today, your birthday, not necessarily January 29th, but that day of your birthday, you can at least then appreciate that your birthday is a special day. The day you came into this world is special, and you're here for a reason and a purpose. You might not have figured it out yet, but doing— taking stock and doing that assessment and that evaluation and confronting those things will help you all of a sudden realize what it is that really, you know, gets you all worked up and passionate about something, and that might— that should lead you into where you're meant to be and what your destiny and legacy is. Now, on the flip side of all of that, I do also want to mention um, that you do want to give yourself a break and allow yourself to be showered with attentions or greetings or love in whatever form it takes, whether it is from somewhat of strangers, even through social media, or acquaintances, or close friends or family. Maybe it's just your general community. Maybe you are part of a of an intramural, amateur, hobby activity, a group of people that you don't really know but you spend a lot of time with.

Like, I spent a lot of time playing with a lot of different pickleball players, for instance.

Some of them I know. I won't say any of them I'm really good friends with. We haven't kind of built that type of relationship. At this point in time. Some of them I know, you know, maybe their name and that's it, and then others I, you know, will sit around while we're, you know, in between matches and we'll talk and get to know each other. But whatever it is, whoever it is, appreciate and be okay with receiving what it is that they want to give. Because I could tell you, without wanting to make you feel bad in any way, shape, or form, but I could tell you that you know, you're disrespecting them. You're disrespecting the people that do want to love on you, that do want to shower you, that do want to relish and honor you. Um, you're doing them a disservice by not allowing them to do that. Um, on the flip side of that though, for those of you on, um, the giving side, is if this individual— like myself being my birthday— if that individual really is closed off, really is adamant about not wanting to be center of attention or to be receiving or being given or, or in any way, you know, relished on, then just simply respect that. Don't force your agenda on them. Don't challenge why they don't like birthdays. Don't all of a sudden, you know, enable kind of them getting even more in their head and feeling yucky about their special day or their day. If they don't want it and they aren't open to it, don't force your agenda on them because that's not fair either. And yes, you may be thinking, well, I just want them to be able to celebrate their, you know, their unique special day, but if they're not even meeting you halfway, then Cut them slack and recognize that, you know, that's their choice and their option. Don't force yourself on them because it's not fair to them either.

So both parties have kind of responsibility, as much as that word sounds odd in this case.

But, you know, one side wants to put a spotlight on their special someone on their special day, and that other person should be grateful for that and appreciate that. And yet that person may not be, you know, kind of in the right place, the right frame of mind to want to receive it and be able to receive it in a gracious, gratitude way. And you need to be— you need to respect that, and you need to honor that for them. And maybe next year will be different. And I would hope for everyone that in some way, shape, or form whether it's today, whether it is your actual birthday, whether it's just a Sunday of any given week or month. You just give yourself an opportunity to be loved on and showered on and relished and honored because you certainly do deserve it. So grab a copy of your— or grab a copy of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. By yours truly, uh, simply by going to our BlogTalkRadio Shedding the Bitch channel page and following the program, uh, and then go to Facebook Shedding the Bitch and just do a shout out, like our page and do a shout out, uh, as to your birthday, whether you like it or not, or maybe if you don't even want to acknowledge your birthday, you just kind of say, hey, listen to the program today, uh, thank you, whatever the case might be. And I will get back to you and get you a copy of Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. And then I'll keep you informed as to the progress on the sequel, 'cause like I said, the number one reason I'm doing it is to answer a question that a lot of you have always had for me since I published the book, and that is, you know, do you really believe people can change, and if so, how did you do it? So that's everything from here, from Shedding the Bitch Radio for this week, and I hope to have you right back here next Tuesday for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. Thanks everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches, and the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.