It's Not About VISUALIZING...It's All About BELIEVING. But How?

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com. Shedding the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you? On this Tuesday, the last Tuesday of August, if you can believe it. I know I say that a lot, but it just is stunning to me, stunning, how quickly time goes. I mean, we're about to enter into September. We're entering into fall, which after a summer like we've had here in Atlanta, I'm actually looking forward to. It's just crazy. I saw the first Halloween costume store the other day when I was going to the grocery. It's just absolutely crazy how time is just flying, but it's all good. It's all good. We're looking at it as a— just a— it's just another moment, another day in life. And yes, life goes very quickly, which is what Shedding the Bitch is all about, is to really ensure that as opposed to really dealing and not confronting and shedding our bitches, the things that really hold us back from realizing our dreams. We really want to be focused on creating and accelerating them. We want to get all of the riches in life that we deserve, and that makes life, no matter how fast or how slow it moves, that much richer and that much more rewarding. So that's what we do here at Shedding the Bitch. I want to thank all of you for your well wishes, and let me explain that. On last week's program, we had Katherine Kerrigan. She's a 9-time bestseller. She's a dear friend of mine. She is a medical intuitive healer, and she's been our most popular guest over the last number of years that we've been doing the program. And so she was here last week, and I happened to mention— because I really wanted to, you know, I kind of rushed it, I, I probably, you know, you probably think— but I wanted to get into our conversation because I knew it would be just real rich for that, that hour-long conversation. So, I briefly mentioned as part of even her discussion with us, which was the Little Book of Breathwork, I had mentioned a health issue that I have been experiencing. And I did not go into it a lot in much detail. At the same time, I did, you know, just kind of mention it. And the next thing you know, I was getting emails mainly through LinkedIn actually, in regards to just kind of, are you okay, what's going on, and, you know, well wishes for healing. And I do, I sincerely do appreciate that. So very quickly, right before I was going on vacation, as many of you know, I took off to a remote island on a lake in Ontario. Disconnected from electricity and Wi-Fi and everything, and it was fabulous just to really disconnect. And I was telling Deborah just a moment ago that I hope everyone has that opportunity to do that, to just completely disconnect. Anyway, leading up to it, I found myself, which I had mentioned to all of you, without AC for several weeks, and I didn't realize the impact that it was having on me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but more so physically. And it turned out that I ran myself to the doctors the day before I was leaving on vacation because I felt my blood pressure and my heart rate just plummeting. And I was very, very nervous about it. I have high blood pressure. I have heart disease in the family. And I was foggy, lightheaded. I had been for a couple of weeks, hoping that, you know, it was just kind of symptomatic of you know, the, the heat. But it was definitely escalating into something more than that. And we did figure out a few things and get me on some medications that were needed in order to, to take care of it and rectify it. So I had a few days while on vacation a little bit fuzzy, a little bit foggy and lightheaded, but then fortunately 3 or 4 days into my vacation it subsided.. And I felt like myself again and enjoyed my vacation to the fullest. And then found myself at the cardiologist the day I got back just to ensure, to get a battery of tests run to ensure that I am healthy as an ox. Because as many of you know, I'm very active. I play tons of pickleball and even out in the heat, hours at a time. And want to ensure that I'm not setting myself up for any type of incident. And I'll know my results tomorrow. I go back for all of my results tomorrow, but expecting that they're good, if not great, because I haven't heard anything from him in the last couple of weeks. But I want to thank all of you for your well wishes and just for your thoughts when you obviously are listening And on the case of last week, we did videotape it. I'll talk about that in a second. You're, you're paying attention, and I appreciate that wholeheartedly, and I know Deborah does as well. So thank you, thank you, thank you for that. It meant a great deal. Now, that's really all I have from a rich news perspective. I do want to remind you of our recent shows that we've had. We've talked about this betrayal, we've talked about shedding. What is it when I say shedding the bed? What do I really mean and how do you go about doing it? What's the value to your life as a result? We had our Ask Me Anything episode. Actually, you got it twice. You got it the first Tuesday of the month of August and then you got it the week after due to technical issues being in my Disconnected Wi-Fi Vacation, and there's a number of other episodes out there as well on ShannonDevitch.com, BlogTalkRadio.com, Apple Podcasts, and a number of other places. But I do want to have you going back to last week's episode. As I mentioned, I had in the studio Katherine Carrigan, a 9-time bestseller a medical intuitive healer. She's been on our program multiple times talking about all aspects of health, nutrition, life, and last week was about her latest book and her latest work that she's doing all around breathwork. The book is called The Little Book of Breathwork, and I have it right in front of me because we are going to reference it today, um, on the program. But I have gotten through about half of it already. I had made a commitment last week because I had found myself with this medical issue, this health issue that I was experiencing, but also some just outright craziness in my life that's going on, including— I just mentioned to Deborah that my other AC unit in my house has gone out, so I have a gentleman here right now as we speak week having to replace the motor. So it's just one, you know, one thing after another feels at times. I'm sure you all can relate to it. So what we would just want to do today, and what I am grateful for, for both Katherine and our conversation today, is we will have an opportunity to breathe and to really gain faith, trust, and belief and what it is we want in life. Because at times it could just be like, feel as if the world is, you know, working against us. So we want to make sure that, that we don't fall down into that abyss, because once we're in that abyss, could be very hard to, to get out. So last week's program, uh, was both videotaped and recorded. So, um, obviously sheddingthebitch.com BlogTalkRadio, Apple Podcasts, but you can also go to sheddingthebitch.com and YouTube to find the video recording of the program as well. And you can see Catherine and my lovely faces. And one day, who knows, maybe I can get Deborah on camera somehow, uh, so you can see all of our lovely faces. Uh, so go and definitely check that out. She— we didn't even take a commercial break. Last week because I knew that there would be tons to talk about, and I wanted you to have the opportunity to get as much from Katherine as possible. And again, like I said, we're going to touch on a few of the things that we talked about last week in today's conversation. So what are we going to talk about today? It is all about belief. When do you know you have it? How do you go about getting it? And what if you can't seem to find it? Now let me tell you why I thought this subject was very relevant, not only for myself, selfishly, but also for you. Because I don't know about you, but sometimes— there's times in my life, maybe yours too, where you're going at it, you're happy, you're confident, you're trusting, you're like— you know, as Law of Attraction talks about, like attracts like. So you're liking and you're hoping that comes back to you, and yet you're still struggling. You're still struggling to obtain or achieve what it is that you want. It just feels like, just like you're going up a hill and you never get that reprieve of a downhill, regardless of how positive and how much you affirm, those kind of things. And I, and I've struggled with this over the last several years, not as much the positivity and productivity and all that, like I mentioned, but more so having to sit back and really say to myself, I, you know, I do believe what, you know, people will say to me, Well, you know, you not only have to like to attract likes and be positive to get back positive, but you have to believe in what it is that you want, and you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you can do it. And I'll say to myself, well, checkmark, checkmark, checkmark, I do. And yet, when I really kind of look at it, I kind of start questioning, hmm, well, there is something that I'm doubting about this situation or this person or me in this environment. Maybe my belief isn't 100% there. So I just thought that that would be a really good conversation to have, and then obviously some tips and advice for how all of us, me included, can work on ensuring that we're always believing. And, and I'll— and I definitely have found how critical that is to everything and anything that we want to have and find and obtain in our lives. Uh, so when we come back, we're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about belief. What is it? What is it not? How does it play in our lives and, and how vital and critical it is to achieving and obtaining our dreams and our goals. And what do you do once you have it? Because as we all know that we have periods, right? Life is ebbs and flows, and sometimes the mountains are really high and very steep, and sometimes they're just rolling hills. And if we're blessed and lucky enough and and truly kind of present and self-aware, we actually get kind of a flat surface that's smooth sailing. But it takes work and it takes effort. And I don't know about you, but until I am 9 feet under, 6 feet under, whatever the saying is, I know life will send me up and down forward and backwards. And even God himself will be laughing at me when I think I had it all under control. He will send something such as my AC. He'll send something to make sure, uh, that we— that I do a reality check. So we're going to be doing some reality checks today, and when we get, uh, get back, we'll get into all of that that has to do with belief. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@parkerhouseservices.com deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. Today we are talking belief. What is it? Do you have it? Do you not have it? And if you don't, how do you go about getting it? And it might sound silly, but You know, I'm sure many of you believe in a lot of different things, but what I'm talking about in the belief— because everything that I read and looked into and have over the last, you know, number of years, it always talks about the belief level of confidence in yourself, that you can believe you can do something, that you can achieve something. And how I don't lack in confidence. I don't know about you. Say it to yourself. You know, put it— measure yourself. On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you? I'm always typically up at the, you know, 7 to 10. I may fall back to maybe 6 or 5, but I just have never lacked confidence in myself. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant. Because arrogance and confidence aren't the same. I just haven't, and I really hold on to that. I mean, it's everything that drives me when I am down at my lowest or at my highest. Now, when I'm at my highest and I'm that confident, I have certainly gotten arrogant in my day, but that was a long time ago. That was, you know, pre-8 years ago. I would allow my confidence to turn into arrogance. That I don't anymore. I've been very humbled over the last 8 years or so, especially the last 5. So there's nothing wrong with being confident. However, I just find when I start looking at the concept and the definition of belief, I kind of find that it's not just confidence in oneself. And we're going to get into the definite— specific definition of belief, and of course I've taken my knife to it to really dissect it, because I have to. That's how I go about processing things, is I really need to get down to the nitty-gritty. But let's break down, you know, and kind of get into real-life scenarios of what, what it is about belief that we're talking about. So I'll throw myself under the bus, as I typically always do here. I've been single for a long time. And I'm not talking I've been without relationship, um, or and/or without even sex. It's just the relationships have been very shallow or very short and/or just been about sex. It's not been long, deep, and truly intimate relationship. And that's been a long time. Now friends will say to me, oh well, when you're ready you'll find him, or you know, when you're not looking, you'll meet him. Well, let me tell you something, I have not been looking for a long time. And, and if I were to be truly honest with you, uh, I have not been looking to the point where if he had shown up in front of me and smacked me in the face, I still would not have seen him. Now others will say, well, you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. You know, just like the law of attraction claims, like attracts like. Now, contra— it's going to sound contrary to what I just said, and maybe you've been through this as well. There definitely have been times that I haven't really been thrilled with myself. Now, I, I don't relate that to confidence. I just relate that to— there's sometimes I get up and I look in the mirror and it's not even physical, it's emotional. I just don't feel pretty. I don't feel whole. I don't feel, you know, completely alive or happy or joyful. Again, it doesn't throw confidence out the window. It just means that in that point in time. Now sometimes that moment has turned into days or weeks. So, for instance, at the beginning of the year we talked a lot about my stuckness, the fact that I felt very stuck. Again, you have to break, break that down. My not— my feeling stuck didn't necessarily have to do with confidence. It didn't necessarily have to all do with lack of belief or trust or anything else. And until you really dig deep, and we'll talk about this, will you know what it is that, you know, you're struggling with. So I can't say that, you know, when someone says to me about being, you know, single, that, you know, that I'm not ready. I can't say that I haven't been or I have been looking. And yet they'll always say to you, oh, when you least expect it, you know, you'll find it. Well, I haven't expected it for a long time. Yet it's still not happening. So the question then remains, then what is lacking? What's missing in that formula, so to speak? So the next element people will say is, well, if you visualize it— and trust me when I say, because we've talked about it, I totally believe in visualization. I totally believe in vision boards, if you're that type that you you know, needs to get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper, which is what I always advocate to you, you know, over the last 8 or 9 years. So I visualized since I was a kid wearing the white wedding dress and getting married in my family church and meeting that tall, dark, and handsome guy, you know, and had him on my arm with a couple kids running around. So does that mean that because I'm single without children, does that mean that something along the way, you know, didn't fall into the formula of, well, when you're ready, when you're not looking, you know, you may have lacked, you know, confidence, and/or is it the fact that there's a belief, a level of belief, that was impacting that, those situations coming true. Uh, now let me go, let me kind of get into that a little bit more. And I did want to say too, because I dreamt for years, a few years I guess, you know, when I was 10 or 11, that I was Priscilla Presley and Elvis, you know, was going to marry me, not Priscilla. Now, does that mean that I'm going to visualize it, daydream about it forever and a day, and it's going to come true? No, because there was a belief, a level of belief or disbelief in that daydream. It was purely a daydream. Um, so how do we differentiate those things that we really, really want? We visualize, we dream, we see ourselves, we put ourselves in those situations, and they go off on either one or two tangents. One is they come true, or another is that they don't. So if they don't, what is— again, what is missing from the formula? Now, I've had a lot of things come true, things that I've visualized, things that I affirmed, things that I had confidence and trust in myself that I can pursue it and achieve it. So the big corner office, the full bank account, even overflowing bank account, the beautiful home. Uh, at the same time, uh, in the last 8 or 9 years since I— my priorities have changed and I moved away from those dreams and into my new dreams, I would have to say that the past 8 or 9 years, as my own coach will tell me, It's been a period of intended humbleness, intended struggle, intended hard work. And, you know, we both kind of say to each other, and sometimes we try to joke it away, saying that it's, it's a period of proving and committing and validating that these are the dreams that I truly want. So the struggle of going from being very corporate to being very creative, wanting to write, wanting to speak, wanting to tell stories, that's a much different world than I was accustomed to for 40-some-odd years being very corporate, very process, very job-driven. The big shift from needing to have that big house downsizing myself into my guest house and being okay with that. And even when I question whether or not— and people question me, don't you ever want to get into your, you know, go back into your main house? I, you know, will very firmly tell them I am perfectly content in the space that I'm in. And yes, do I want to eventually own my— or, you know, own, not literally, but kind of own the space of being in my main house one day? Absolutely. That's why I have this house. But right now, and over the last, you know, 3 or 4 years, I've been perfectly content with it. But when I look at the past 4 or 5 years in making all these adjustments and these shifts and accepting the fact that that they are periods of humbleness, of confirming my commitment and my conviction to these dreams and these passions, and, you know, kind of validating that it takes a lot of work and a lot of what we're talking about today, belief in being— obtaining those dreams. I have to say that it's— those things have not materialized yet. And so I sit there and I have to look up at the man above, and it could, you know, God could be a woman, but I have to question at times, what is it that I'm missing in your formula that it hasn't happened yet, that those dreams that I have are still in process, or in progress, I guess you would say. And I'm sure many of you are sitting there going, yes, I have my vision board, and I have my journal, and I have my affirmations, and I have my list of goals and my measurements, and they're all SMART. And yet, you know, what is it that's missing that I haven't obtained and achieved them yet? And that's really where I started realizing that it's not just me that might come across questioning this. Belief is very odd, I find, because it is, you know, I believe in God. I believe in, you know, there's a being that I can't touch or feel or talk to or, or see, and I believe in him. So Why is it when it gets down to kind of man-made, man-made aspirations, man-made dreams, why is it that that feels different? And so when people will say, well, you have to truly believe in what it is that you're doing— well, I haven't been working my ass off for the past 6 years because I don't believe. So there's just something there that I'm, you know, that I'm not getting or that I am not truly having trust or faith in. And there's a key to the rest of our conversation because I had to go back and I had a look at what is belief. Again, it had— it's a big spectrum. So even Wikipedia agrees with me. It's basically, belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. Okay, that's pretty simple. So I can believe in something that, you know, that I have read or I've written or what I, you know, hold dear to my heart. I can believe in that. That's, you know, pretty simple. I could believe something that Deborah says to me, or I might not believe what I read in the newspaper, but say it's a viable source, I might accept and believe in that statement being true, or that something exists, especially if I can see and touch it. It goes on to say something one accepts as true or real, a firmly held opinion or conviction. Now this is where belief really gets screwed up for me. Something that one accepts as true or real. Ah, not wanting to get into the political environment of the world at all, but yet when you believe in something and you observe and draw a conclusion about something or someone, that's that, you know, your perception is reality, right? But then when you come across someone that totally contradicts in their belief and in their acceptance and what they're seeing is true or real, that's where belief becomes really downright foggy for me, uh, until I, I just have to kind of throw up my hands and accept, well, belief is self-contained. My belief is my belief, and your belief is yours. Because when it's proven that when 2 contrary beliefs come together, well, one person is going to call somebody an idiot and the other person is going to go, you have no idea, kind of, you know, what you're talking about. And so beliefs can only be within oneself. And that for me is, is good because then I say, okay, so what I believe, I believe, and I'm not going to impose it on anyone else. And I'm not going to accept anyone else not believing in it. And keep that in mind because that's going to be one of the big tips that any of us would need to take care of and address when it comes to other people and other influences and other factors and other environmental impacts that can intrude on your belief system. Okay, so let's move on. So then it says belief is trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something. So I'm going to throw the confidence out because, like I said, that's not something— well, I guess I can't throw it out because that's not something that I lack, what, you know, in myself. And/or in others because, you know, I am pretty confident when I make a judgment about someone or when I make a decision about something or someone. Trust or faith then is left there hanging, and now I consider that belief really comes down to trust, and that's where trust then becomes very important and very relevant to this conversation. So we're going to take a break. I'm going to take a deep breath and a drink of water, and when we come back, we're going to talk about trust and how that then impacts belief and what we could be doing— all of us could be doing about it so we hold on to that belief and/or gain that belief that we need in order to achieve our goals. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@parkerhouseservices.com at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We're talking beliefs. So have you ever been in a situation for yourself where there's something that you want, that you want to pursue, or you want to achieve or obtain actually, and and it's not happening the way you're— you've expected. And you've put the work in, you've put the attitude in, you put the positivity in, uh, and yet it just doesn't seem to be materializing for yourself. And you might have someone say to you, well, you really need to believe, uh, that you deserve it, are worthy of it, um, that you can do it. You know, if you lack that belief in what it is that you're doing, then you're not going to obtain it. And then you sit back and you say to yourself, no, that's— no, because I do believe, I do believe that I can attain it, that I can pursue it, that I can achieve it. But as I started kind of digging and purging, which— make a note of that because that will be one of your tips— But as I started digging and purging within myself, when it comes down to this idea of belief, and it led me to belief being about faith, confidence, and trust. I took my knife, as I've mentioned before, I took my knife and I cut out faith and confidence and was left with trust. And I thought, hmm, okay, maybe there's something, someone, you know, that's impacting my trust. So what is trust? Trust is assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. And I looked at that and I said, well, you know, I trust my character, my ability, my strength, and my truth. And I can't think of anything that, you know, something was being impacted. The next level is one in which confidence is placed. Well, you know, we talked about that already. And then another layer of it is dependence on something future or contingent. Dependence. And I started looking at that saying, hmm, I'm not really good at depending on other people. And I had to be honest. I'm like, yeah, I've been kind of on my own for so long. And I was even as a young kid, even though I was surrounded by 11 brothers and sisters who are wonderful and beautiful and loving and all that kind of good stuff. But, you know, I kind of looked at dependence and I thought to myself, okay, you know, there's something there that I need to do some kind of more digging into. Because trust is not just about you. Which leads to the belief, right? In order to have trust, there has to be another person or entity. So that's something or someone there that might, you know, that's there that's creating a distrust potentially that could be impacting your belief system. You know, it could be loved ones, it could be employers, professionals, community members. It could even be God or whomever, whatever you might believe in. But if we— and if we lack trust in any of them, including ourselves, because we're one of those things, they could be just that we don't trust ourselves, then belief is definitely going to be hard to obtain. Belief is definitely going to be hard to embed. So what we need to do is consider that if belief is based on trust, trust, which is based on that confidence and faith, not only in others but ourselves, then there has to be things that we'd be doing to kind of— as we talk about in Shedding the Bitch, our Shift to Riches formula is we want to discover, confront the bitches in our lives. So in this case, it's about trust, and then we want to be able to shed it which is get rid of it so we can create and accelerate riches in our life. So I said, okay, well, I have to practice what I preach, and I want to leverage my own, my own teaching when it comes to, you know, this backdoor approach to really understanding belief. And it did come down from, to me, to trust. So what is it that we can, you you know, that we could be doing, and this applies to you as much as to me. Well, first off, we need to be okay that we do lack a degree of trust or belief. Not 100%, maybe, because obviously we believe or, and trust something or someone, small or large, few or many. There's something in the world, I would hope, that you trust and believe in. And then what we really need to do, especially in the Shift to Riches formula of discover, confront, and shed— there needs to be a commitment to be willing to do that. Because as we talk a lot about here, it's scary. It's scary to come face to face with our ugliness, our hurt, our pain, our emotions as a whole, what we call bitches. It's— it can be painful, it could be hurtful, it could be scary. And yet we need to— if we truly want to kind of break through all of the junk that's holding us back from truly believing and having trust in that faith and that confidence, then we need to commit to being able to face it all. Knowing that on the other side is that creating and accelerating the riches in life that you want. In order to first do that though, you need to also forgive— forgive others, but more so forgive yourself first, because you actually will have a hard time forgiving someone else if you don't forgive yourself first. First. Forgive yourself for the pain, for the, for the emotion. Maybe it's your actions. I spent a lot of time over the past 9 or 10 years forgiving myself for things that I had done. Now remember, I don't believe in regrets and I don't have any, and maybe it is because I have forgiven myself throughout, you know, my life, but especially these last 9 or 10 years. You know, forgiving yourself first opens your heart to definitely being able to forgive other people. Then we get down into more kind of what I'll call, I guess, tactical things. And you've heard it before, fake it until you make it. So say you lack that faith, that trust, that belief, even a degree of confidence if not a lot of confidence. Fake it until you make it basically means if you get up and you're feeling crappy, well, pretend you feel joyful. Put a smile on your face. Force it. Fake it. Put that smile on your face because you know if you have a smile on your face, you're going to get a smile back. If you have a scowl on your face, you're going to get a scowl back. So if you have to, fake it. And fake it in— any and all aspects of your, your daily life until you start seeing the, the benefit and the result of that faked emotion, that faked physical being. You know, that smile is more physical if you're not feeling it emotional. Um, you know, your eyes gleaming You know, if you ever see an actor who really is good at emoting through their eyes— I'm not really good other than if I am pissed, you know, you see it easily. But, you know, so you want to state that state of being that you want to be in in order to then build up that level of confidence, trust, and faith. So faking it until you make it, I don't care what anybody else says because a lot of people, you know, will boohoo over it. You have to be yourself. You have to be authentic. You have to be true to yourself. I totally agree with that. But guess what? Sometimes we just feel crappy. It might be for 5 minutes. It might be for a day. It might be for a month. We feel crappy. Well, be okay with that, like we've talked about. Forgive yourself for feeling like that. And then start faking the way you want to feel and be okay with that. Then what I want you to do— and some of you might think that this is faking it until you make it— start living as if you have what it is that you want. So if you have— if you're wanting happiness and joy and love in your life, then act as if you have it. And that's, you know, that's what I mean by that looks like it's faking it until you make it. But if you want a new relationship, if you want a new job, if you want a new project, if you want money, well, don't run from it or be desperate or afraid of it. Live it as if you have it. I will only caution you about the money part of this. So let's dig into that a little bit deeper. So if there's a job that you want, kind of take on the approach and the actions, the leadership, and even go and learn the skills and the techniques that you need in order to get that different project or different job or promotion, whatever the case might be. If you, you know, want more money, then you— or say, let's reverse it and say you want more income for your own business, um, and/or you want to make more money in the job that you have. Well, you don't want to because desperation reeks. You don't want to go out in the world feeling desperate, stingy, and allowing the universe and everyone within it to see that you are desperate, that you are feeling very, you know, poor. I'm not saying to run out and buy yourself a Gucci handbag. What I'm saying is just go and, you know, spend the money on, you know, pay your bills. Buy yourself a little treat. Act as if when you go into clients that you have a roster of clients already that are paying you what it is that you want to be paid for your product or services. Put on that persona that you, you know, that you are wealthy, if not just monetarily but even figuratively. Live like you have what it is that you want. So that will in itself give you that confidence, which then will breed, you know, all the faith and trust and belief in in yourself that you can and will obtain or achieve what it is that you want. Go out and— this is really where I have been spending a lot of time recognizing that I've always had mentors in my life, and I've always looked for, even played with, people that are much better than I am. They, you know, they're far more advanced than I am. And, you know, whether that's in a job environment or a competition like sports environment or a relationship environment, you know, I've gone and I've kind of learned from my friends who have great relationships as to what a good relationship really is about. When I've, you know, gone and I play tons of pickleball and I want to play tournaments, I don't play with new people. I don't play with even people that are on the same level as I am. I'm always seeking out those better players that are going to kick my butt for months until I kind of learn from them. The same with the money or the career. You know, I want to study and learn from those people who have what it is that I want. So make it a point to read, to watch videos or television shows, to listen to podcasts or radio programs or whatever the case might be, to, you know, gain insights from the people and the things that have what you want, that you're, you know, working and pursuing for yourself. From those readings, lessons, whatever. Take those tips, take those belief systems, take their affirmations, take their views on the world, and adopt them for yourself. Try them and fail fast. So that means try a lot of things and see what works, what doesn't work, what resonates with you, what doesn't resonate with you, and embed what it is that you are finding works and throw away anything else. Fail fast is an additional little tip there. And then, of course, we talked last week, and we do often, about affirming. Having those affirmations readily available to you in order for you to, when you are feeling crappy, when you are feeling down, when you are feeling insecure, or you're questioning or doubting yourself, there's nothing better than to pull out a quote. Literally on a piece of paper, or it might be, you know, you Google something because, you know, to see on your laptop or your phone, and/or you have it— you do have it in your head. You know, I have a number of my affirmations that I've met, you know, that I've memorized, and I, you know, and when I'm feeling crappy, I just pull them out and start, you know, kind of affirming to myself. And that is where last week I greatly appreciated the teachings of Kathryn Carrigan. As I mentioned, she was our guest last week talking about her little— her book, The Little Book of Breathwork, and how important breath is to one's health and emotional, emotional stability, but also emotional growth. And so, you know, her book, The Little Book of Breathwork, you can go to Amazon and find it. Number one bestseller, her ninth number one bestseller. Um, her book, you know, is packed with affirmations that you can use for everything from energy to self-love to happiness to abundance. So let me just give you a couple of ideas based on the time that we have in front of us. So for instance, for abundance— and again, affirmations can be ones that you create such as, I, you know, I had one that I created for myself. Um, it's, um, of course I'm going to forget it when I'm trying to think about it, but it's: I'm worthy, I'm deserving, I am blessed, I am grateful, I am creating abundance. Uh, so I am worthy, I am deserving, I am blessed, I am, um grateful, I, I create abundance. Uh, I have, you know, a scripture statement. I call it a statement because it's part of an overall scripture. You know, if God is for me, who could be against me? I have a number of them that I go back to, um, when I need to kind of to, to quiet my mind and to build that, that belief and that swell of of faith and trust in myself, let alone in other people around me. So, for instance, in her book, page 177 of Abundance, she has a number of affirmations that you can use, which you could say, I participate in plenty. I express the true nature of abundance. I channel the frequency of abundance. I love that one. I appreciate all of my life's blessings and give thanks for all I receive. Because another, another tip for belief, for trust, for faith, for confidence is to be grateful. You know, they'll tell you that the number one tool, uh, to really kind of have the life that you want is to be grateful. Is to pay it forward, is to serve others. So you have to be grateful. And that's where, when I say over the past 8 years, you know, God has me— has made me become very humbled. Because for decades before then, and I would even say about 6 years ago, you know, before then, I wasn't grateful. And that sounds very, um, bizarre because I had so many blessings in my life. Not to say I wasn't thankful, not to say that I didn't pray and thank God for my family, my friends, my job, whatever. But I really wasn't grateful for them, meaning that I still took them for granted. And until I learned that, you know, you know, you shouldn't take anything for granted because the moment that you don't have it any longer you know, all of a sudden you realize the power of it, good or bad actually. And that was— that's been my— one of my greatest lessons that I've had to learn for myself. I appreciate all of my life's blessings and give thanks for all I receive. And like I said, her book, The Little Book of Breathwork, has tons of affirmations throughout it that you can use to also help build that swell of belief, trust, faith, and confidence. And like I said, you do need to do some work on yourself. You need to dig deep and really understand. If belief really does come from trust, then you need to identify who, what, where, when, why, how you lost that trust. And again, you need to be committed to confronting all of that in order for you to then to be able to shed it. And I'm talking love, I'm talking relationships, I'm talking money, happiness— whatever it is that you're looking to achieve, you need to confront where you're at around it. So let me give you some really— they're going to sound very silly to you, but they had had, have had significant impact in my life. Negative until I recognized it. So, and this process of really dissecting what belief is for me and getting it down to trust is what really kind of, you know, have— has just kind of changed my whole world, so to speak. So one of the, the things that I really had a look at is one memory I've always had, and I carried it with me, and I just kind of blew it off as it not being significant, was in my— I think I was a sophomore or junior in high school, and we were at a party and we were drinking a lot. And, uh, one of the football players was trying to take advantage of me. I'll put it, I'll put it lightly. Uh, and it was in the middle of like this, this party going on in a basement. And when I physically and verbally pushed back and rejected him and said, yeah, that's not happening, in front of the whole room of people— because now it's gotten quiet since I had gotten loud, it had gotten quiet. And he called me a prude for not, for not, you know, accepting his assault. I'll call it an assault now. And for not accepting that. And it always stayed with me, that word prude, and that situation of this, you know, good-looking young guy and myself in this packed room of people, friends, and then, and it all of a sudden goes quiet, and he calls me a prude out loud. I didn't really, you know, think about it, but I went on into my 20s and part of my 30s going the opposite extreme of that. I became very reckless when it came to sex, uh, when it came to encounters. The more, uh, I'll call it the more dangerous, the better. The more exposed, the more uninhibited, the more literally like in front of other people that I could create a situation in, especially when it came to sex, that I welcomed. And I just, you know, I got into my 40s and started realizing the, you know, kind of the idiocy of my ways. But I really didn't think about the trust that that little situation ripped out of me back then in my high school years. Another one was a relationship that I had had, and I, you know, talk about your belief systems being rocked, is I truly believed his words of, "I'll never hurt you." Now, hurt was physical and emotional. "I'll never hurt you." And yet he did. So that just, you know, created a major influence and negative impact on my ability to trust. And then of course, when it comes down to money, you know, I grew up in a period of you have to earn it. So of course, when I did, I spent it. Instead of appreciating, respecting money, I spent it crazily. Because I worked hard for it, and therefore I now deserved it. So you have to do the work, and you have to be willing to dig deep and, and purge out any of those things that are impacting your ability to have that confidence, to have that faith, to have that trust, because that— all of those things are definitely going to impact whether you believe in believe in an entity, a god, whether you believe in your dreams and your goals, whether you believe in you. And so I just hope that you're willing to make that commitment to yourself because you certainly deserve to have and to achieve and to accelerate all the riches in life that you want. And never, never doubt without belief. That you deserve it and you're worthy of it. So I will leave you there with that. Thank you so much, and I'll look forward to talking with you right back here next Tuesday for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everyone.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helped you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.