Keep the reigns steady on chaos and retains balance with Lisa Orban

Blog Talk Radio.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone and Merry Christmas!

Oh my gosh!

So excited, and so is our guest. If you heard her giggling back there, I am so excited. It is creeping into that date of the 25th, and Santa Claus is getting ready to come and visit me and bring me gifts.

Yes.

No, I'm kidding.

Yeah, yeah, I've been sort of mostly good, so I want you to bring me something.

Yeah, exactly. There you go, there you go. And I, so I'm hoping everybody out there is also kind of wrapping things up at work. I actually just got off of a couple of client calls and I was like, okay, I'm paying attention, but I'm also like, you know, kind of thinking about over here what I still need to do and what I want to do. Um, but, uh, it's a, it's, I love Christmas week and I love the time between like right now and actually January 1st. Just full of love and peace and excitement and craziness and family and friends and even business stuff. So I'm hoping everybody— I hope all of you are enjoying it just as well. We have a great conversation, um, for you today, and I had mentioned last week on the program that, um, I would be pre-recording it because my vacation is starting, uh, Tuesday when this is broadcasting. So, um, our guests and I are here in studio, and we are looking forward to bringing you A kind of a diverse conversation, I want to tell you. I, when I first got pitched this opportunity to speak with our guest, it was all centered around her latest book, which I absolutely love talking to authors. And I got really excited when it was about cooking for those people who don't like to cook, which I'm raising my hand, as I'm sure many of you are as well. But then I started looking into you know, who exactly the author is and, and who our guest would be and her backstory, because I always start with the backstory. And I just absolutely got enthralled with, um, some information about her and her, uh, initial book, her first book in 2015. And the, the name of it says it all: It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. So You know, I know a lot of you out there, we talk a great deal, especially around this time of year, just about junk that we go through, what we call bitches here in our Shedding the Bitch community. You know, the bitches that really get in our way and kind of cause us to kind of wreak havoc on ourselves and then on the world around us. And over the last few weeks, if you weren't able to listen to the programs live and haven't gotten out to sheddingthebitch.com or BlogTalkRadio, to download those programs. We've had some great discussions over the last several weeks. One was about shedding the holiday bitches and blues because many of us do between now and the end of the year do kind of, you know, get in a rut and feel a little bit of pain and loneliness and sadness and maybe there's loved ones that we've lost, you know, this time of year, whatever the case might be. So go in back and take a look for that. And then last week, our Ask Bernadette episode, I guess that was a couple weeks ago, our Ask Bernadette episode focused on various questions that all of you have had, and actually a lot of them stemmed from the Shedding the Holiday Bitches and Blues episode, and it was more around business stuff. You know, what do you do at social events for your, with your company? Do you have to buy gifts for your, you know, boss and your team members, and what's the obligation there? Kind of the dos and the don'ts. Um, so take a listen for that as well. That was our Ask Bernadette episode. And then last week we talked a lot about, uh, gratitude and blessings and, and how to kind of get amped up and really, um, shift to riches— that mindset, your belief systems, your values, your self-worth— shift them towards rich thoughts, rich feelings, Rich Beliefs, so you can make your holiday season and 2019 the best season yet. So that's what you can go back and download now. And then of course, we're going to wrap up the month of December with discussions in getting you ready and prepared and psyched up for the new year. So we'll be talking about assessing where you've been, and planning for where you're going. But today, like I said, our guest is going to really entice us with a whole conversation, and the title for today's episode tells it all as well, and that is "And Then It Got Bad." So you can kind of think around what that might be, and what I want you to be listening to as well as I'm sure our guest does is It's okay to laugh at the dark places in your life. It's okay to laugh at the dark places in your life. And also how good friends can make the difference between your survival or your failure in handling life's ups and downs. And we all make mistakes. We all will always make mistakes, but it's okay. And how do you handle that? So that's what we want you to be listening for today. And so our rich question, for those of you who are listening for the first time, I ground you at the beginning of a topic of discussion. I ground you in a question for yourself that you could be contemplating on, and in most cases you're going to get some answers, tips, pieces of advice regarding that question. If not, then throughout the program I'll be making sure that you have our guests contact information, and you can always reach back out to her, in this case, for further help. Or you can go out to our Facebook and Twitter Shed the Bitch pages and pose your question, comment, or story there as well. So there's a lot of help and ways for you to interact as a community with the Shedding the Bitch community. So we want you to be sure that you are doing that. All right. So before we jump in and introduce you, we're going to take a quick commercial break and we'll get back and I'll introduce you to our guest and get into this conversation because you're not going to want to miss it. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity. So they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/shuttingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shutting the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. I want to introduce you to Lisa Orban. She was born in Galesburg, Illinois, but Due to various shenanigans by the adults in her life, her time there was short and the family moved to Quincy, Illinois, where they settled down for a good long stay. While in Quincy, there were several divorces, marriages, different schools, friends lost and gained, and many, many moves throughout all this activity. Until quite unexpectedly, Lisa found herself in foster care at 16. Much to her surprise. Upon turning 18, Lisa ran away as fast as she could to Phoenix, Arizona, where she lived for 3 years. She got married, had 2 sons, made many mistakes, and then eventually ran for her life back to Quincy, where she still lives to this day. Lisa went to college, earned an associate in psychology, raised her 5 kids, got married and divorced several times, and bought a house, and eventually settled down to live the life she always wanted as the ringleader in a madhouse of anarchy. She now writes books, takes in human strays in need of help, travels, opened a publishing house, and pretty much does whatever she wants and is quite happy about it. She became an author in 2015 with her first book, It'll Feel Better When It Quits hurting and hasn't stopped since. Now a little bit more about Lisa regarding this particular subject is she is upfront that the reader should dive into her world expecting resolution and recovery by the end of the book, and it's a refreshing way to discover beauty and inspiration from the unconventional. Orban consistently illustrates this possibility through her reminiscences of circumstance, and consequence. Although her life is an emotional roller coaster of ups, downs, twists, and turns, she manages to keep the reins steady on chaos and retain balance between tragedy and hilarity throughout her tales. While some may argue that there may be peace in finding normality, Orban demonstrates how deviating from social obedience encourages us to define the world we live in by giving it meaning, and she does just that. Oh, I don't— welcome, Lisa! Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome!

Thank you, I'm pleased to be here.

Well, I don't, I don't know about you, but I had to read that portion of it tied back to the topic of today's conversation, which is 'And Then It Got Bad,' just simply because that in itself just pull someone in to want to— the words and the way you use words, uh, pull one in to really want to delve into your stories, whether it is your first memoir, It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting, or even the cookbook that we're going to be talking about today as well. But let's go back. I mentioned that I love backstories, so you gave us some backstory, obviously.

Mm-hmm.

What regrets, or what would you like to do over if you had the opportunity in all of that, what you call, you know, chaos, anarchy, and tranquility?

You know, this is the one question I'm asked the most by anyone who's ever read my book. You know, what are my greatest regrets, or what would I change? And they're very surprised because my answer is Nothing. I would change nothing. Um, as bad as my life got at various points and as dark as things were, I survived. And I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for that. And right, so I can take those lessons because they were lessons I learned from them, you know. Um, I, I definitely— I, I have set a goal for myself. If I have to pick between, you know, two evils, I pick the one I've never done before. Um, I never try— I try to never make the same mistake twice. Um, right, but we all make mistakes. So, you know, your life is always going to be this series of mistakes and learning events. So by taking away those mistakes, by taking away those dark things, those are lessons I never would have learned, and I, I don't think I would be the well-rounded person the, the person I am today without them. So I don't have any. I, I— there's nothing in my life that legitimately I would change.

Nice, very nice. And I, and I am right there with you. Um, now, was there ever a time, uh, you kind of just wanted— because, you know, even just what you talked about before you turned 16, let alone at 16, you know, landing up in foster care that you never expected, and then just a couple years later, you know, at 18, running away. And I mean, is— was there ever a time you just felt like, you know what, I just want to sit on a couch and give up and not go anywhere?

Yes, I, I have those moments even now where I just go, you know, I, I don't want— I don't want to be in this moment anymore. Um, but, and, and the thing of it is, is I've learned to allow myself to have that moment— to say, okay, obviously I have reached a point in my life where I have pushed myself too much, I have taken on too much, I have— I am trying to deal with too much, and instead of doing any of that, it's okay for me to sit and eat cookies and watch something stupid on TV and ignore things for 2 hours.

Right.

You know, I think we all at some point in our life experience a moment where we just go, God, I give up, where you want to throw the papers in the air, drop the throw things on the floor and walk away. But, you know, we should also give ourselves permission to experience those moments and take it as a time, as a sign that we need to reassess where we are and what it is that's making us feel that way and how we can change it.

And so we, you know, I even mentioned earlier about, you know, the next couple weeks, you know, the community will be talking about assessment. Me, assessing, you know, things in their life and whatnot. So can you paint a picture for us as to what that looks like for you when you know that, one, you don't have any regrets, two, you know that life is messy and you have to, like you said, you have to kind of appreciate that and be okay with that. But how did you, and how do you even today, kind of shift yourself out of that and into a a better place or a better mindset? What is your process?

Well, sometimes I'm childish. Um, sometimes I stomp through my house and yell. I'm childish. I sometimes stomp through my house and declare to everyone that lives here, "I live with pigs! Y'all need to do something!" Um, and I do. Um, you know, I do. Sometimes I stomp my feet. I'm, you know, I realize I'm a grown adult. You know, I'm more, I'm closer to retirement than I am to teenagehood. Um, but it's okay. I stomp my feet. But I think the biggest thing is, is a lot of people are hesitant to confront the things that are upsetting them, to make their needs or their wants known to other people. And I have made it a— especially in the last 5 years, I have before, but I've really embraced the idea— well, about the last 10 years, I've really embraced the idea of I will tell people what it is I need from them. And I will be very clear about it, um, so that, you know, that the ex— you know, there's no guess— there's no guessing anywhere in there. And so I do sometimes, when I get mad, stomp through my house and declare I, I live with pigs and tell them what it is I need.

Um, right.

Or, you know, where someone is overstressing me, I will say, I understand you have a problem, but, you know, your lack of planning is not an emergency on my part. We're gonna have to meet somewhere in the middle. So I think the biggest part of it is to release that, relieve that stress, that anxiety, that overwhelming wah that people get because we don't tell people what it is we need. We hope that they figure it out. We silently wait for them to notice us. But the fact is, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, you know? Right. It gets noticed. Right. And so that's what I have really strived to do, is when things are getting to that point, I will make my— I will make my stand. You know, I need this from you. You know, if you cannot give this to me, I will either do it myself or find someone else who can. You know, no reflection on you, but these are the things I need in my life. Yeah. And yeah, you know, one of the things right now I have is, um, I tell people that the currency in my house is sucking up to me.

And, um, it's sucking up to you.

Sucking up to me. That's right. I will announce someone needs to tell me I'm pretty or whatever, and they will respond with, you're beautiful, you're wonderful, you're amazing. Thank you. Got what I needed and walk away. Um, I actually— there's a— there was one moment I had, I think, 15 people living in my house at this point. Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't have that many right now, but the numbers fluctuate. But so imagine I have a first floor, second floor, and third floor, okay? And people are living on all three floors. And I was having a particularly bad day. It wasn't about anybody in the house, it was just— it was a moment in my life where I was having this terrible bad day. And I stood in the middle of my kitchen and I stomped my foot and I announced, I'm having a bad day! Someone needs to tell me I'm pretty. And I hear this echo going all the way up the stairs, all the way up to the third floor, all the way back down of, "Tell Lisa she's pretty," and, "You're pretty, you're pretty, you're pretty." And then I hear what sounds like elephants racing down the stairs, and every person that was in my house at that point rushed me in, rushed into the kitchen, and everybody gave me this huge bear hug and told me I was pretty and wonderful. And you know what? I felt better.

Right, right. Sure, sure.

So, you know, I— it's—

no, go ahead, go ahead.

Okay, I was just going to say, so that's, that's kind of an example of, you know, I, I declared to the world what it was I needed, and the people around me, because they loved me and wanted me to be happy, responded and gave me back what I needed, and a little bit more with the hug and the praise and everything else. And while my problem wasn't solved, I felt better and was in a better frame of mind so that I could deal with it in a way that wasn't coming from stress. And it made everything better. And, you know, and so yeah, people need to, to take control and take a handle on their own happiness by announcing what it is they need.

Right, right. And in your, and in your situation and I'll make that plural, situations, it seems like you might do it in an emotional state and a non-emotional, you know, more logical state of being. Would that be a fair assessment?

Oh yeah.

So when somebody, when you, when you're all stressed out though, and, and, or you're just all overwhelmed, what is your tactic or strategy for ensuring that you want to do, you want to get out of the mess and you want to declare what it is that you need and ask for what it is that you need and more of a— I love the unemotional and I love the, you know, I'm pretty, but what do you do to kind of make it seem more unemotional and logical in that communication with the people around you as far as what's working, what's not, or what you need or what you don't need? Because I think I tend to find a lot of people just struggle to kind of get their head out of the the emotional stuff in order for them to be able to calmly, coolly, you know, get, get that shift that they're looking for?

I think it comes down to simple declarative sentences. I need—

nice.

Um, I need you to take the trash out for me because when you do that, it makes me feel better. Um, but when you can explain in a simple declarative way that doesn't— not, not a you statement, an I statement. I need this. I need this to be happy. I need this to relieve some stress in my life. I need this to not be depressed anymore. You know, whatever it is.

Nice, right?

But it's, you know, you clearly say what it is you need You clearly state why you need it, and then you say how it will make you feel when they do that. And here's the, here's the, the ticket to the whole thing though, is if they do the thing that you ask them to do, then you say thank you.

Nice, nice, nice.

And then you don't be mad about it anymore because they listen to you. They heard you, they did as you asked, do not hold it as a grudge, but say, "Thanks, I really appreciate that," you know, or, "That was wonderful, thank you for listening to me." That's important. That reinforces to them to continue to do those things because they got a pat on the head for listening to you. But if you stay mad at them about it and hold it over their head, there is no incentive for them to do it again because they did as you asked, they listened to you, and they still got a negative response. So positive reinforcement is very important.

Yeah, yeah, I, I love that. I love the whole thank you piece of it because that just closes that out, allowing both parties— maybe it's a group of parties, uh, of individuals— but to really just recognize that they were part of something, they were part of a and you appreciate it and recognize that, that's awesome. Now, right, because they need that recognition back, right, right, and appreciation back, right, right. Now, with everything that you've been through and, and the way that you've been able to kind of work your way to a much better and different place than you are, then where— or a much better and different place where you are today. Do you find your story to be unique to others, or do you get a lot of the, "That happened to me as well," or, "That's where I've been as well," or, "That's what I have had to do before"? Um, what do, what do readers, what do people that you interact with in telling your story and sharing your experiences, um, what do you experience from that?

My overall story, unfortunately, is common. What is different is how I share it, which is by making my listeners, my readers, laugh with me. And I can make people laugh at some very dark stuff. And they kind of feel a little bit, "Oh, I shouldn't be laughing. This is wrong." Yeah, but it's funny. So I have a very unique storytelling voice. A lot of people who read my books say that one of the common themes is it's more like sitting down over a beer or a cup of coffee, you know, a person's choice of beverage, and reminiscing like an old friend. So a lot of people, when they finish reading my books, feel like they have become my friend, and they want to read the next book because they want to see what happened to me and all the friends they made, right? Because they become, you know, I bring these people alive. And, and some of them are no longer, you know, around to— you know, literally are not alive anymore. So they are living on in my words. And, and, and these are— my readers connect with these people that I remember, um, in a very personal way. So while my— like I said, like my overall story, uh, of the things that I have gone through, um, divorce, child abuse, or foster care, domestic violence, you know, all these different things. They are unfortunately very common in our society, but how I have dealt with them and how I share them is, is somewhat unique.

Right, right. And did you, um, now obviously you've been writing for a long time, or is this something that you have been writing for a long time?

Yes, uh, I've actually written a lot. Um, I didn't I have published— I published prior to my first book in 2015, but they were short articles, a couple of poems through various magazines and stuff. But It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting was my first published book.

Right, right, right. Okay. And that would— you just found that to be a great outlet for expressing your experiences?

It really— it started because my friends pushed me. Lisa, you share these stories, you make us laugh, um, you should share them with more people. You should really write a book. The world would really enjoy this. And they pushed me for probably 5 years or so before I finally— fine, I'll write a book.

Now, where were you sharing them before? How were— and where and how were you sharing them before?

Just amongst your friend storytelling, or, yeah, you know, friends engagement, or, um, I didn't really do any speaking engagements. Mostly it was just among friends. And, uh, you know, I, I was at social events and stuff. Oh, Lisa, you got to tell them the story about, you know, oh, okay, sure. Um, because I do have, because I do have some, like I said, there are some unique stories, uh, that I have, you know, like the fact that I was a bridesmaid at my ex-husband's wedding. Um, true story, you know. So I mean, things like that don't normally— ex-wives are not normally in their ex-husband's new wedding to their new wife, uh, right? You know, those things don't happen, but they do to me. And, um, you know, so people enjoy the fact that I, I have really tried to embrace my life in a way that is a little outside of the mundane, where I, I try to experience things. And, and if it sounds funny, I'm— I hate to say it, doesn't matter how terrible— if it sounds funny, I'm probably going to do it because in the back of my head going, God, this will be a great story. It's going to fail miserably, but it's going to be funny.

Nice, nice. And what is— and what has been your aha or your— you know, what has been the biggest, you know, kind of result? And that sounds so trite, but what have you experienced as a result of putting your stories and your life down on paper and then sharing that, you know, allowing people to read and kind of get into your world? What's been the biggest aha for you?

Would you say? I don't know about aha, but there's been a great deal of— I don't want to call it satisfaction, but it's kind of that feeling as people read my stories. Like I said, at the end of the book, they feel like we've become friends, and they feel very comfortable. A lot of them feel very comfortable reaching out to me because, you know, my— you can reach me through my websites and, you know, on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, you know, I'm all over the place. Um, you know, so they reach out to me and, and tell me things like, you know, I just want you to know, um, I thought I was alone and I don't feel alone anymore, so thank you. Um, I, I've gotten a lot of stories of, you know, I was in a, in a bad situation. Um, you know, uh, my husband, my boyfriend, my lover was beating me up, um, or something. And after reading your book, you gave me the strength to leave because I realized there, there was something more in my life. Uh, you know, so, uh, I had one guy that told me that he had been estranged from his mother for 20 years, and, um, he read because his father had been very abusive and he didn't understand why his mother stayed, and he held it against her. He read my book and he wrote me to let me know that he had made amends with his mother and apologized for not understanding. So I have made— I have made this impact on people's lives, and right, that I— that I couldn't have done if I hadn't written the book. I also got a trip out to Canada out of it, so that was pretty awesome. Yeah, one of my, one of my, one of my readers was a teacher in an Inuit community up in Canada, and he read all of my books, and we had started to correspond, and we corresponded for about 2 years, and he invited me up, and I went and stayed with this Inuit community for, for a week up in Canada. It was amazing.

Very nice, very nice.

Yeah, I'll take a vacation.

Yeah, absolutely. So let me share with everyone information as to how you can learn more about Lisa and then how you can also get in touch with her. Go to her website, it's IndiesUnited.net. That's Indies, I-N-D-I-E-S, United.net. You can Facebook or Twitter with her. I love guests who make it really easy on us. @LisaOrbanAuthor, Lisa Orban, and that's O-R-B-A-N, Author, both on Facebook and Twitter. And then of course you can find her on LinkedIn. And as a matter of fact, even her LinkedIn URL includes author, so Lisa Orban Author. Now if you should, like I said, you know, I gave you a rich question at the beginning of the show, everyone, to kind of think about What is it that you might be thinking that you're— did I give you your rich question? Now that I'm thinking about it, I might have just talked right over it. So the rich question I would have wanted you grounded in is what experience or situation or event in your life kind of left you feeling as if you're at a point of just the bottom pain and hurt? Yet are kind of open and ready to kind of shed that pain and that, uh, and that hurt out of your heart so you can move on. Um, and just like her book, uh, it doesn't— I'm sorry, uh, her book title, I just lost it. I had it in front of me. It's still— It'll Feel Better When It's Hurting. Yeah, It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. So what is it that you need to quit hurting in order for you to feel better? That's what I want you to be thinking about because one, I think you'll be able to relate to what Lisa has been through, maybe not the same situations, but at the same time, what I love about our conversation is just her attitude and optimism about how she, you know, was able to change and kind of push through and move on. Not to say it was easy, I'm sure. It wasn't.

Right, right.

Right. So that's what I want you all to be thinking about. So go and check her out and make sure that you look at her books. And when we get back, we're going to take a break. When we get back, I want to talk about her other books. And I absolutely need to talk to her about her latest book, which is all about cooking when you hate cooking. And we'll talk about that and get into more details about that when we come back. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich. Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking with Lisa Orban and I want to, I want to tell you, if you just want to get to know her, go to, go on to Amazon, look up Lisa Orban, you'll see her, a number of her books, probably all of them are out there. And read the excerpts for It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. Look at her book that's called Wine Comes in Six Packs.

It does.

And then, yep, and then of course we definitely want to be talking about her latest book, I'd Rather Starve Than Cook. A cookbook for people who hate to cook. I need to hear about this. What in the world provoked you to write a book about— a cookbook, that is, too— for people who hate cooking?

Well, you see, I have 5 children, and believe it or not, you are expected to feed them. All right? They look on you very poorly if you don't feed your children. Okay, so I have 5, so this is over 30 years of parenting, okay, 30 years of parenting, 30 years of meals. So I have over the years, I had created all of these recipes for feeding my children that took minimal effort for me, you know, shove it in the oven, shove it in a crock pot, shove it someplace, walk away from it and not have to look at it. Because I really hate to cook. Okay, now that my children are all grown, my boyfriend's sole job and responsibility in life is to make sure I get fed. But, right, but last— yes, last Christmas I, um, but oh, it'd be my— I had been getting all these phone calls from my kids who are grown and gone and "Hey Mom, how do you make this? Hey Mom, how do you make this? Hey Mom, how do you make this?" Because none of these recipes are in a cookbook. They were my creations. And so anyway, I thought, "Oh, it would be kind of nice. I'll put all the recipes together for my kids, you know, to give it to them as a cute little Christmas gift." And when I finished, I realized I had over 100 recipes, and I had actually created a cookbook, a legitimate cookbook. So after Christmas, I, I sat down and I, and I, I changed some things up because it, you know, I had made it for my kids. Um, you know, I added some goofy artwork to it. There's stick figures in there. I, I created stick figure art for my cookbook of exploding stones and things like that. Um, and there's little stories in there at the beginning of every chapter. You know, some were, you know, cooking disaster stories, like the time I blew up a fish. Um, I had to scrape it off the ceiling. It was terrible. Um,— you know, and just other things, you know, that people can relate to, just terrible cooking scenarios and— that I have experienced to make people feel better. And I also wanted to encourage people to feel free to experiment with their own food. Just because a recipe calls for a particular thing doesn't necessarily mean that that particular thing has to be in there or in that amount. So as you read the recipes, it gives you options It gives you alternatives. It says, you know, if you don't want to put this in here, this isn't— you know, I will list the things that are absolutely necessary as the basics, and then I give options because I feel that all our food should always come with options. Awesome. And so it's a great book for people like me who hate to cook. It's a great book for people who are just learning how to cook.

Yep.

You know, for college students and people out on their own for the first time, you know, these, you know, they're easy. Right. Most of them are less than 5 ingredients, less than 10 minutes. So, you know, we're not talking about a lot of time or effort.

Right, right. And everybody, let me just read you a little piece from her author page about this book. Do you have to cook or do you hate to cook but prefer not to die of starvation this week? Never fear, this cookbook is for you. If you are able to open cans without injury, dump things out of a box with confidence, and operate a stove without supervision, you can eat tonight.

Yes, you can.

Like me. Sounds like me.

Just to let you know, I don't have a stove no more.

Oh wow.

I have— I haven't had a stove in 3 years.

Oh wow.

So are your, are your recipes like microwavable?

No, I actually— well, no, I actually have no microwavable recipes. What I do have is I have a slow cooker, I have a roaster, I have a— and other things like that. But now, all of these recipes, I've divided them up into the ways people cook instead of— I'm terribly sorry.

Bless you. Thank you.

But I divided them up into the ways people cook. Instead of like, right, you know, main course appetizer stuff. So it's crock pot, stovetop, and oven. And then I end up in several of them, I'm like, okay, you can also do this on a grill, you can do it, you know, I give them alternates on how they can cook it as well. So again, I believe in options.

Yeah, yeah.

But so I can still cook if I want to. I just generally don't want to.

And my stove blew up perfectly fine.

Yeah. And when my stove blew up, I went out to buy a new one because, you know, you're expected to have a stove. And I'm wandering around going, God, for $800 I could go on a great vacation instead of buying a stove. So I went on a great vacation and I didn't buy a stove.

Right, right, right. Well, I have to tell you, I have to tell you you know, my community knows that I've been on Weight Watchers since the beginning of the year, and friends of mine, um, are like fanatical about InstaPots, I guess they're called. InstaPot, it's almost like—

I have no idea. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh yes, I have one of those. Yes, I have one of those.

Like a Crock-Pot, but it's not a Crock-Pot. It does something else differently. And they're like, Bernadette, you know, this is just the easiest thing to do, especially because I'm single and I just need to cook for myself. And I do want to cook it versus, you know, eating out. And, and I'd prefer not to have to eat out of cans just because of the salt content. Um, so yeah, so, uh, people, everybody, you have to take a look for her book, I'd Rather Starve Than Cook: A Cookbook for People Who Hate to Cook. That's fabulous. I absolutely love it. And I love the diversity of your— I love the diversity of your storytelling, um, because Probably as hard as it might have been, or maybe it was at that part very cathartic to write "It'll feel better when it quits hurting," then to go on and write something that, you know, "Wine comes in 6-packs," and then "I'd rather starve than cook." Those are all very creative ways to put your storytelling to different formats, and I just think that that's absolutely fabulous. And I'm very happy, and congratulations on your success in regards to that.

Um, I have a fourth one too. I have a political satire.

Oh wait, wait, is that the If I Were a Dictator, a tongue-in-cheek guide to saving our democracy?

Yes, If I Were a Dictator. I'm telling you guys, I need to be dictator just for 6 years. That's all I want it for.

But yeah, that's hysterical.

It's very tongue-in-cheek. It's all the facts are real, but the, the premises is obviously fiction. Um, so it makes, um, a very complicated subject matter running the country, and, and I put it into bite-sized pieces for people to get a better understanding of how their government works and things that are wrong with it.

Oh geez Louise, we won't even begin to get into that conversation, but it's funny.

It's funny.

Yeah, I bet it is. I bet it is. So everybody If you were to go to, um, if you were to go to Amazon and check out her books there, but also IndiesUnited.net. And then please be sure to, to like her and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, and that's Lisa Orban Author. She does it, and that's everywhere— LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook. So let me ask you something, and, and wanting to kind of keep it on a high note, so to speak, as we go into the holidays, but recognizing that You know, we all have junk, we all have the bitches that we deal with in our, in our head, in our heart, that we, that we are working to kind of shed so we can create riches, as we say here, create riches that we deserve. You know, what, what would you say is, you know, a big tip or a piece of advice that you would give our listeners to end on?

You deserve to be happy.

Amen, sister.

Every— yeah, a lot of people don't— deep in their hearts don't believe that they, they deserve to be happy, that they're in a bad situation and they deserve to be there. No, you don't. No one deserves to be unhappy. We all have a right to have a good and happy life, and sometimes the changes we have to make are hard to make it happen. But believe me, no matter how hard the work is to get to a place where you're happy It's always going to be worth it, and you deserve it, right?

Lisa, be sure to go— please be sure to go check out her books. Go to indiesunited.net, go to Amazon, and, um, obviously, you know, you could start from the beginning and all her books all the way up to today, which is her cookbook, or go from the cookbook back. But I have a feeling that if you, with all of them combined and all the stories that she tells in all those different variations of formats and topics, I think you'll be very inspired and motivated and even kind of jolted to want to make the same type of shift to get to a place where she is at, which sounds very content, happy, and even fun.

It is very fun.

Yeah, it sounds like it. So thank you so much for being part of the program. I so appreciate it.

Well, thank you for having me. It's been a lot of fun.

Yeah, well, absolutely. And we'll definitely be talking again for sure. I'll keep an eye out for your next funny book.

All right. All right. It's Good Friends Bring Shovels.

It's what?

Good Friends Bring Shovels.

Oh, that's awesome! And when is that due out? I should have asked you if you— what your future books are. Uh, when is that due?

You know, it does not— it's a to-be-announced kind of thing. Um, since I've started the publishing house, I've been a little behind on my own writing, but I'm hoping at the beginning of the year to get back to it. So hopefully by the end of the year it should be out, but it might be 2020.

Right, okay. And, um, we didn't have any, you know, questions directed toward it, but If you could or want to, why don't you share for about a minute any information you want on your publishing house that you started?

Okay. I have a publishing house. I started it in September. It's called Indies United Publishing House. We are a co-op as opposed to a more traditional house. Our authors are able to maintain the independence that a lot of authors like as an indie author while being supported and helped— with a house environment. All of our authors work together to promote our books and to promote the site. So it's, it's very inclusive. And if you have written a good book and you would like to be a part of a house, look me up, because we take all genres and everything from coloring books to psychological horrors. So, you know, we run the gamut. And You can read the rules on the Frequently Asked Questions page on how to submit your books to us and what we expect and what to expect from us. But it's kind of this nice in-between place where you have a lot of freedom and you get to keep all of your royalties as well as the rights to your books. It's a nice little niche publishing house.

Nice. Congratulations on that. Congratulations, that's fabulous. IndiesUnited.net, everybody. Thank you, Lisa, I appreciate, appreciate, appreciate that. And of course, everybody, next week is Christmas.

I know, I gotta wrap presents.

I know. So we will, so we will have an episode next Tuesday that will be pre-recorded as well, just so you guys can all be enjoying your your Christmas, but you'll be able to when you all of a sudden get a, get a breathing moment to come out to ShadingTheBitch.com or to BlogTalkRadio.com and download it. You can also go to iTunes for any of our podcast episodes, so you can always do that as well. And then of course the following week is going to be New Year's Day, and I will be live. I'll be back live because this is one of our most popular and asked for episodes where we'll talk about getting into the new year. So I just want to wish everyone, everyone, everyone a merry, merry, merry Christmas. Have a fabulous week leading up to it. And for those celebrating, if it's not Christmas, anything else— joy, peace, love, prosperity. And I'll look forward to having you all back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Thanks everybody. Thanks, Lisa.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.