Learn the Most Underrated Leadership Skill Driving Results

Maya Angelou famously stated, people may forget what you said or do, but they will never forget how you made them feel. They will never forget how you made them feel. Do you make them feel good or bad? Ugly or beautiful? Valued or worthless? Important or minimal? True leaders understand the power of gratitude in how others engage perform, are retained, and ultimately achieve results. And when practiced intentionally and consistently, it models leadership that makes everyone feel valued, important, and empowered to be the best that they can be. This episode is dedicated to gratitude being a powerhouse leadership strategy for anyone who wants to reframe gratitude from being a soft skill of being nice to a strategic leadership behavior. We will discuss the challenges that managers have in instilling a culture of gratitude onto their team and into the business, and the strategies you could be taking today to begin a transformation that will enrich everything about your team, the business, and yourself. And I am so grateful that you are here and part of the Shedding the Corporate Bitch community. So let's get into it.

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. Let's do this.

As we get into this conversation about gratitude, I want you to keep a few things in mind. Gratitude is not about being nice. It is about being effective. It is about you noticing the contributions and the values other people are bringing to the team, but also to you achieving your goals. In high-performance cultures, people don't just work for money. They work for meaning and recognition. They work to feel important and valued and that they're making a difference and that they're actually contributing to the overall goals and success of the business. And we all know that individuals don't leave companies because of their work or because of the job. They leave because of the manager. Leaders also underestimate the emotional climate that they're creating. And you can go back to a couple of episodes to our emotional pacing episode to really understand how you show up, the energy you are creating and putting out. Is having a direct impact on whether or not your team members are being productive and effective, or if they're being drained and stressed out. Gratitude signals value, belonging, and psychological safety. There's no better way to tell your team, even without words, how grateful you are by ensuring that they feel safe, included, important, valued, and belonging to the team and to the business. I had a client a few years ago. On paper, he was everything you would want, uh, especially in a business development role that he was in. He got the job done. He was a massive producer, a revenue generator. He was a task result-driven individual. You could depend on him. That whatever you gave him, he was going to get the job done. As a matter of fact, he's not only going to get it done, but he's going to exceed everyone's expectations. Unfortunately, those that worked for him and/or supported him in any way, shape, or form felt as if he was the taskmaster and they were the robots expected to perform the work and get the work done without any type of recognition, without any type of appreciation, or even a simple thank you. And I will mention quite often on Shedding the Corporate Bench that with all the conversations I have between managers and employees, the number one thing, especially when we talk about recognition, the one number one thing that they ask for is a simple attaboy or a thank you. That's all. Yes, we'll get into conversations about compensation and bonuses and gift cards and other incentive programs that many of the companies will have. But bottom line is that they just want a thank you. They just want to be recognized. They just want to be seen. They want to know someone is actually observing their work, not necessarily firsthand, and that they are contributing to the overall direction and goals and results of the team and the company. Ensuring that each and every one of us as leaders are understanding what gratitude is and what our team members look for when it comes to gratitude is so important and would make a tremendous difference in how you lead and the results that you get from your team members and also from yourself and the business as a whole. And this particular client, as a result of some feedback that we sought out to give him, he saw it in black and white, really where he was falling short in ensuring that whether it was attaboy or it was a bonus or it was a days off, whatever the case might be, he needed to do better as far as recognizing and appreciating what the, what it was that the team was doing for him to accomplish his own goals, let alone their goals and the team's goals. As you consider where you are in your leadership journey, consider what are you appreciative of? What makes you grateful for the work that you have, the team as a whole that you have, the individual team members that you have? And I should state that it is important to recognize individuals as much as the collective team. And so both of those layers are important to be recognized and appreciated is both the team as a collective and the individual team members as a whole, genuinely, authentically, and intentionally. It's, this isn't about everybody gets an award for just showing up. This is if someone does a great job, recognize it. This is if someone exceeds expectation, recognize it, praise it, reward it. If someone hasn't met expectations, at the same time doing their best, you need to recognize and appreciate that as well. All right. To cement the importance of gratitude, let's look at some data. Let's look at some research and actual results that for any leader who's interested in measurable results or who's interested in moving the needle, who's interested in upleveling their team's performance and therefore the business's performance. This information, this, these statistics will be a really good foundation, a business case for you to say to yourself, all right, maybe I haven't been doing what I should be doing in regards to instilling a culture of gratitude. And right now I can start with small steps turning into big results when it comes to appreciating and recognizing the work and the dedication and loyalty that team members are bringing in to the team and the business. So first off, Harvard Business School did a study where they found that employees who feel appreciated are more productive, engaged, and loyal. That is very logical. That makes a lot of sense. If we're showing up and our manager is, or even our peers are saying thank you or recognizing the fact that we worked late or recognizing the fact that with all the obligations and the struggles that might be going on in one's life, they're showing up and they're doing their best. When they recognize when someone is struggling even in their role, maybe they're new, maybe it's a whole different skill set that they're being stretched to perform, and peers and managers recognize that you're doing your best, not quite there yet. At the same time, we see the effort that you're putting in. Then of course, they're going to feel a lot more productive. They're going to feel engaged. They're going to feel loyal. They're going to want to work and try even harder to be their best because everyone wants, just wants to be their best. Gallup did a study around gratitude and leadership, and they found that employees who are regularly recognized are 4 times more likely to be engaged, 5 times more likely to feel connected to the company culture, to the team, to the boss. And they're less likely to leave, especially if they're new and they're coming on board. The first impression in anything that anyone does, the first impression matters the most because people are gonna immediately create a judgment and a perception of whether or not this is a company I wanna work for. If this is a this is a team I want to work with, if this is a boss that I want to work my tail off for, they're going to be able to draw that conclusion very quickly. And it's going to create a longer-term perception of whether or not this is the type of environment that they want to work in. But Gallup is showing that any leader who really is intentional about instilling a culture of gratitude, that they're less likely to leave, especially if they're new and within a short period of time, like a year. University of Pennsylvania did a study, uh, Adam Grant, uh, he's a well-known leadership expert, and he found that a single expression of gratitude from leaders increased productivity 50% in some environments. 50% shift. And then if we wanted to look into neuroscience, this is not my area of expertise, so I won't go too deep into it. I'll acknowledge that right now. But if you think about it personally, even that anytime you express gratitude or you receive it, it activates dopamine, it activates serotonin. It really gets your neurotransmitters going and you feel more motivated. You feel like you want to do even more and better. You feel like you want to go out and stretch yourself with your goals, learn new skills. Take on things that you wouldn't have considered before, and it helps with your well-being, your overall stress level, your overall positivity and self-confidence. So there's a lot of evidence that talks to and leans to the fact that a simple thank you or some praise and recognition is a huge stimulator of performance and ultimately results. So we really need to consider as leaders, what are we doing when it comes to building a culture of gratitude? And similar to that is recognition reinforces the desired behavior that you're looking for more effectively than correction does. So think of the carrot and the stick. If you put a carrot out there, again, to motivate, inspire, to move to create change or transformation or results, having a carrot out there is going to be far more effective to get the result that you want, to get the behavior that you want, to get the attitude and the mood and the words that you want than if you were to put a stick out there. So similar to go out with a frown, which would be a stick, you're going to get a stick back. Go out with a smile or a carrot and you'll get a carrot back. Recognition and praise and gratitude also creates a desired result that you want in one's behavior. So if you have issues on your team or with one team member and you want to create a change or a shift in them, use gratitude as a strategy to shift one's behavior and ultimately the result that you get from them. At the same time, remember, just like my client, you don't put it out and you get very deflated, very unmotivated. Very disengaged, very disgruntled employees and culture and environment, and therefore results. Gratitude simply needs to answer for you 3 unspoken employee questions. And if any leader was smart, they might ask the, their employees these questions to get an understanding of what's inside their head, just like what I mentioned as far as my talking to hundreds of employees and managers, and the number one thing they say is that they just wanna thank you. It wouldn't hurt for a leader to ask their employees these questions that the employees want to ask and yet oftentimes go unasked. And that is, do I matter? Does my work matter? And do you even notice? Unfortunately, I've come across a lot of situations where a manager doesn't even know how to answer those questions. When managers are asked to be vulnerable, sharing their appreciation, they all of a sudden will get very closed off, insecure, quite honestly. And because they're not accustomed to expressing that in the workplace. Trust me when I say not much different than children with their parents. They want to know from their boss, do I matter? Does my work matter? Do you even notice what it is that I do and what it is I contribute? You could ask yourself that. You could ask your team members. One-on-one those questions. Do you feel that you matter to me and the team? Do you feel that your work is important? And do I recognize and make you feel as if your work is important? And do you feel that I recognize you in the way that supports you, that motivates you, that inspires you, that makes you better? You could be asking them those questions because Again, rarely will they ask their bosses that because again, they too are insecure. They don't necessarily want to know the answer if you don't care. And I say that because there's some managers who are really just concerned about getting the job done. I'll go back to that client I mentioned, if it came between really understanding and learning and connecting with their people versus getting the job done? He would say, getting the job done. I'm here to get a job done. They're here to get a job done. Now, how would that land on you as the employee? If that's all that mattered was just getting the job done, you would feel like a task doer. You would feel like a robot. You would feel like a servant in some way to a task list. And that is not going to allow any manager to be the leader that companies need because people just want to know that they matter. And that they want to know that you notice how they're contributing. Good, bad, or indifferent, by the way. That thank you, attaboy that I mentioned, that was part of a response from 95% of the employees that really said, I just want feedback. Good, bad, or ugly. I want feedback. That's a form of recognition. That's even a form of gratitude. Gratitude that you're trying. Gratitude that, you know what, you're doing an unbelievably great job. Gratitude that, you know, you're not performing up to par, and I'm going to help you identify what you need from me and from others and from yourself in order to fill that gap and be better than you are today. Even that's gratitude. So leaders who express gratitude publicly and specifically, they create much higher psychological safety for their team. Their team trusts and feels safe to come to them, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. And they don't, they're not fearful of being put down, being minimized, diminished in any way, shape, or form. Expressing gratitude, appreciation, thank yous. Helps to create a much higher psychological safe space for you and your team members, as well as it automatically creates stronger collaboration. They all, they're building trust in you. They're building respect. They're recognizing that yes, they are being seen. They, their work is important. They do matter and therefore they're building confidence. They're building the desire to engage, to connect, and to collaborate with you and with team members and others in order to get the job done. They'll walk through fire for you by simple expressions of appreciation. And as leaders, we're all looking to make it really easy to replicate success. So when all of a sudden a good job or a hard effort is acknowledged and received, and therefore that individual feels important, feels valued, feels part of a team, they're going to want to repeat that experience. They're going to want to repeat that high that they get as a result of that praise and recognition that they received. So what can you do? What can you begin thinking about strategizing on when you decide that you want to create or enrich a gratitude culture? Simple. Build it into everything that you do. Build it into, at the beginning of staff meetings, thank team members. At the beginning of difficult conversations, point out the successes and areas of effort and areas of appreciation. Do it at reviews. Do it during town halls. Do it at, do one-offs by maybe you send an email out to the team, out to the organization. Following a major accomplishment that someone achieved, but make it part of the rhythm. You make it a part of the culture. And then the very first thing people are going to recognize is how you behave, how you model that type of graciousness, that type of gratitude. By you modeling it, by you being the one stepping out and doing that upward, downward, laterally, all of it, all of a sudden other people are going to do the same. When they see you do anything as a leader, your people are modeling it. And again, I'll mention it's like children and parents. Children look up to their parents. They see how they behave and that's how they behave. They see that they are building people up and they want to build people up. They see them tearing people down and all of a sudden you find they're hating on people. Model the behavior and the outcome that you're looking for, and others will follow suit. And then encourage not only up and down, but encourage peer-to-peer appreciation. There's nothing to say that members of your leadership team, members down on a team aren't thanking each other, aren't appreciating each other, aren't recognizing each other, even the efforts and the small successes, the big successes, even the missteps. That someone overcomes. There's nothing to say that they have to wait for formal recognition from the higher-ups. Model and instill the fact that anyone can appreciate anyone at any time. And this all should be grounded on measuring engagement, measuring recognition, not just the output. But the contribution, the effort, the achievement ultimately resulting in the outcomes that you're looking for. But ensure that there's measurements, there's goals, there's measurements, and then there's engagement and recognition, all part of how your team operates, because we all want goals. That gives us the kind of the barometer or the path that we're supposed to follow. And with those goals, of course, if, especially if you follow the SMART methodology, you have actions that are then relevant, that are time-bound to due dates and endpoints, of which, yes, you want to recognize when the endpoint is achieved. But at the same time, you also remember fuel the climb. You also want to recognize the movement, the progress, or even overcoming any issues or risks or barriers that come up along the way along that continuum. You don't have to wait for the end. You can do it all the way through. And keep in mind, it's not forcing you to change. It's asking you to notice. That's what your people want. They want you to notice them. They want you to notice what it is that they're doing, just as you want others to notice what it is that you're doing. You don't need to change who you are. You just need to pay closer attention and to notice the contributions that team members are making for the team. For the business and for you. As we wrap up, a few other things to keep in mind. Your emotional pace, your emotional weight, the highs and the lows, the ebbs and the flows, all create the response you're going to get from your people. And gratitude determines whether your people feel drained or energized as a result. And as I mentioned, go back to a couple of episodes on our emotional pace episode to really dig into that, how your emotional pace, how you're showing up is impacting the results of your individuals and teams. And recognize that your emotional weight determines if your people feel energized or they're feeling drained. And the question isn't, Does gratitude have a place at work? It's not, that's not the question you should be asking. The question you should be asking is whether or not you as a leader can afford its absence. Can you afford with a lack of gratitude, with a lack of appreciations, with a lack of attaboys and attagirls, can you afford to create all those negative impacts we talked about? Turnover, low morale, low disengagement, if any, nonexistent connectivity and collaboration, no innovation and creativity. Can you afford that? That's the question you need to ask. Can I afford to not be recognizing, noticing, and making my people feel valued and important? So I have a challenge for you. I want you to reflect on a few things. What behaviors are you reinforcing today? What effort went unnoticed this week? And what kind of culture are you quietly building without even noticing? All right. What behaviors are you reinforcing today? What effort went unnoticed this week? And what kind of culture are you quietly building? And we would all want that, those responses to be, I'm reinforcing that my team members are important to me, that I couldn't do my job without them, that I couldn't achieve my goals. I couldn't help them climb to the next rung of the ladder without them. And the effort of Joe and Sally and Tom in X, Y, and Z was very much appreciated and noticed this week. And, and I'm creating a culture that everyone wants to work on my team. Everyone wants to be part of a high-energy motivating, inspiring, collaborative, connected, engaging team. And that makes me feel fabulous. And that makes me feel like a powerhouse. So answer those few questions. And if they happen to be reinforcing that it just, it's all about getting the job done. If you have teams working very hard. Putting in the effort, even if they're not successful. And there's some that are achieving the results, but yet I haven't thanked them this week, last week, this month, since mid-years. And I'm creating a culture of people that feel underappreciated. And you know what? That wasn't my intention. That wasn't— I don't do that consciously, but now I'm aware of it and now I can do something about it. So whatever the answers are, there's a next step that can be taken. Whatever the answers are, there's actions that you can put into motion right now in order to get the output, the behavior, and the result that you want. And I know if you are part of this Shedding the Corporate Bitch community and you are driving toward being a powerhouse leader, you're going to want it to be that you're instilling a culture where everyone is noticed, feels important and valued, and wants to show up each and every day and even go beyond what it is that they're tasked to do. So everyone achieves the goals and objectives that you have for them and for the team and for yourself. I'll be sure to put all of the links to the episodes that I've mentioned, the one on quiet cracking, quiet quitting, on presentitism, on emotional pacing. I'll make sure all of those links are put into the show notes so you have them and you can refer back to them or just go to ballofirecoaching.com/podcast.. And while you're there, be sure to follow the show, whether that's on any one of the podcast streaming services that you use or on our Shed the Corporate Bitch TV YouTube channel. So you don't miss an episode, you don't miss a guest, and you don't miss an opportunity to really become the powerhouse leader that you are meant to be. And should you need any support, should you need any guidance or any ideas for instilling a culture of gratitude, then also feel free to reach out to me, go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall, and let's have a 30-minute chat and I'll give you some ideas and strategies and tips and practices that you can start putting into place. So as you and your team moves forward, you have a whole new approach and a whole new attitude and foundation for creating a culture that will generate high potentials, an overall high-functioning team. I am so grateful that you are here each and every week, and I'll look forward to having you for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Bye!

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love listen. And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.