Lessons of Business and Life from Dad to His Little Girl!!

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of angst, attitude, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to your fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Well, good day everyone. Those of you around the world, I hope you are having a wonderful afternoon, possibly morning, maybe it's even in the middle of the night, and you're listening. So I'm thrilled that you're with us. You are indeed listening to Shaggin' the Bitch Radio, and this is Bernadette Boas, and I'm so excited to be here today and to share this time with you. It's a beautiful, absolutely beautiful day here in Atlanta, Georgia. A bit hot, but there's a nice breeze which kind of, you know, counters the humidity, I guess. And it's no rain. So it's dry because I am so tired of being wet. I mean, just head to toe getting caught in monsoon, very quick storms that come through and they're gone in a matter of minutes. But I always happen to be in the middle of the dog park walking Charlie as it comes through. And sometimes— one time earlier this week, it literally sounded like a freight train, a 747, whatever the case might be. Was kind of storming over, over my head, and it just was one of those big dumps, like not sprinkles, not heavy rain, just like pools of rain coming down. And I just had to stand there and laugh because what else could you do? I guess I could have stood there and cried, but it wouldn't have done me any good. Anyway, but it's beautiful today. It's supposed to be dry at least until tomorrow. Uh, so I am thrilled that you're here today and have an interesting conversation that I wanted to have with you in regards to, uh, lessons learned or lessons taught from your father to you, especially you as women. And I'll get into that in a minute, but, um, whether it's business advice, business lessons, or it's about your life relationships, whatever the case might be. It's more of a matter of kind of what did he pass on to you that you're still using, you're still leveraging. But then I want to get into a conversation really about what role can fathers play in really changing the dynamics of women in leadership, women in business, women in position. Because you probably hear all the chatter going on out there. I'm certainly a part of it. Around kind of all the issues. Oh my gosh, all the drama, all the, all the, oh, woe is me of what is impacting and what is holding women back out in the world. And quite honestly, you know, I'm one to kind of sit around and wanna, you know, yap yap yap every once in a while. But really, come on, let's get down to some solutions. And so I started thinking about that. And other people have as well. And really, where does this start? Where, where's kind of the place that we can— the root that we can get down to, to start, you know, changing and shifting the attitudes of everyone when it comes to women and them pursuing their goals and their dreams, pursuing the highest ranks of whatever it is that they want to be? Be going after without feeling guilt, without feeling shame, without feeling as if they're doing things that they should not be doing. And so I wanted to kind of start looking at that, and I started thinking, okay, well, maybe it has to do with, you know, the way boys are raised, the way girls are raised, the way fathers treat their children, the way mothers treat their children, and what kind of education do we need to be doing at the very very early stages of life. So we're going to get into all that. We're going to get into all that. That's kind of where my heart is right now. And I appreciate the feedback that I got because I did pose a question out there in multiple groups and on Facebook and asked you what your lessons were from your father. And I did receive some, some great, great input and some great things that I even I can actually learn from. So I want to share all of that with you and then we'll get into a conversation. One thing, please, if you do want to chat it up, you can certainly do that live with me at 1-818-572-2910. If you're online and you want to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch, you'll find this particular program and you can chat in with me and I'm watching the chat room as I always do. If you're listening to this or watching it, because we are recording it today— videotaping, I should say. If you are going to be listening to this in a download or archive, then you can certainly come back to Facebook to the Shedding the Bitch page or my Bernadette Boas page. You can go to Twitter. You can even go to sheddingthebitch.com, and you can share your thoughts and your lessons from your father, because there is a posting out there in regards to this particular subject matter. And you can share with me what your what your lessons were, and we can make sure that other people have an opportunity to learn from them. Alright, so there's a lot of ways to collaborate and communicate with us in our Shedding the Bitch community. The program, if you're joining us for the first time, maybe you've just been introduced to us, it really is all about addressing those top-of-mind issues, top-of-mind social stigmas, top-of-mind ugly belief systems that you might be holding onto within your head and your heart that are keeping you from realizing your dreams. They can be personal, they can be professional, they can be about your finances, about your relationships, about your religious spiritual beliefs, whatever the case might be. If there's something holding you, you know, back from really being the best you can be, I want to ignite in you the boldness and the fearlessness to really discover, confront, and shed those things, what we call bitches around here. So you can create and accelerate whatever dreams and goals that you have for your life. So we do that in various number of ways, not only here on Shedin' the Bitch radio program, but also you can join us throughout the week on Facebook on the Shedin' the Bitch page. And on Fridays we do our Rich Tips. Now what that means is all week I'm taking your questions and I'm compiling them like I have even with your feedback regarding the subject matter today. And then on Fridays, I tend to, even though I share rich tips all through the week on Facebook, on ShadingTheBitch.com, but on Fridays what I do is I take all your questions and I dive into them and specifically talk to you, whoever it is that's addressing that question or issue or challenge to me, and provide you some great tips and advice and some tough love. Be prepared for it. But in order for you to really make a change and make a shift in your life. And then once a month here on Shitting the Bitch Radio, I then take those questions, drill into them even further, and then I even videotape those so we can cut them up and splice them up and provide everyone— as a result of your contribution, I can provide everyone some tips and advice for them to take with them and maybe make a shift in your life. Everything that I try to do, I want to give you in order for you to give someone else. So it's always about paying forward and helping other people learn from your own experiences. Alright, so that is Rich Tip Friday. That is how you can collaborate with us today. And then of course we do have our forums on sheddingthebitch.com where you can go out and you can introduce yourself and/or share a story or a pain or a bitch that you might be holding onto that you need to get rid of. And the community is slowly building up. We have a large community on the website, just not so much in the forums. We're just kind of really focusing on them right now, and I'll say kind of because a lot more effort will be put into those as we go forward. So it provides you a safe kind of collaborative environment for you to get some support and some guidance and some, and some help. From the community. Okay, a lot goes on here in the Jet Set Pitch community, and of course, you know, out on the Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn world, you can also find me as well. Again, I'll remind you of the phone number: 1-818-572-2910, in case you are out there and you wanna talk with me. And if not, that's fine too. And you, when you listen to this in archive, you can share with us in any way, shape, or form you'd like to. Your feedback and your ideas for future topics, because that's where pretty much I get what our programs are going to be about, is from the collaboration I do with you throughout the week. So, and I appreciate that. Alright, so there's two things, and I think I'm going to flip what I initially, um, we're going to talk about the lessons from Dad, don't get me wrong, but I do think it's important if we as women We think about not only for ourselves but for our children, especially for our girls. Where is the first place we could start influencing their mindset, influencing their self-belief systems, influencing them really standing up for themselves and pursuing whatever it is that they want in life no matter what? You know, because it's going to take a long time to shift the attitudes, whether it be from men, whether it be from our fathers, from even other women. You know, I talk a lot about women hating on women.

We're gonna have a—

it's gonna take, you know, a slow concerted effort to change the mentalities within business, within politics, within the media of how we portray women. So that all said, what can we do As individuals, what can we start doing to slowly chip away at this otherwise very large, large challenge that we have in front of us? Things are changing, but at the same time, can they be changing faster? Can there be more change? And can we actually have more influence at least in our own little universe, in order to see things better for ourselves and our children. Now, of course, we talk a lot on Shit and the Bitch right here about you definitely have control about changing yourself. You certainly do. And you can do that by, you know, we talk about our Shift to Riches Formula. You could do that by really discovering who you are and facing it, confronting it dead on— good, bad, or indifferent, ugly, beautiful, what scars, whatever the case might be, and shedding whatever it is that's holding you back. Shedding the people, the places, the environments, anything that is really keeping you from really being who you are. So then you can move on and the world is opening up, the universe is opening up, your heart is opening up, and you can go and create and accelerate whatever it is that you want in your life. So that is kind of— that is the first thing. In order for anything to change, You need to decide, you need to choose that you want to change. And if you change, then you can then decide that you want to help other people to change. And again, even if we were to look at your own, um, universe, there has to be— in, in the case of our conversation today, there has to be women or girls that you can be helping to shift attitudes. There has to be men who say disparaging comments or who have some bias toward women in position. And it's up to you as individuals, up to every one of us as individuals to help influence that. So let me give you an example. Last week or the week before, I was at an investor entrepreneur type of event and a very well-respected investor, very well-respected friend of mine, business colleague, that I lean on as an advisor and as a mentor on occasion. I met up with him in the lobby and it happened to be this event had a theme, a beach party theme, so I had a very pretty professional sundress, like halter top dress on, not sundress but halter top cocktail dress if you want to call it that. Yes, did it show a little bit of skin? Here, yes. Were my boobs hanging out? No. However, get in the elevator with a couple of other gentlemen, and we're now— keep in mind, we're going to a business event, we're going to an event to raise money, we're going to event to meet with other investors and other entrepreneurs. And on the way up to the elevator, you know, he turned to me, he looked down at my cleavage and said, I get— I'm gonna have a really hard time talking. I guess I should pay attention to your eyes. And he points up to his own eyes. You know, and I just kind of looked at him and he kind of chuckled and the other two gentlemen were a little bit uncomfortable who were in the elevator with me. And I just turned around to him and I said, I won't say his name, I said, "Really? Was that really necessary?" And you know, which caught him off guard and he kind of just kind of looked at me and I said, "Let's go into the into the event, you know, and I kind of— the doors opened and I walked out. Yeah, and he definitely got the message. And I wasn't— it might be coming off across differently here— it wasn't, I didn't, you know, make a fool of him or embarrass him or throw him under the bus in the elevator. I simply stated that that was very inappropriate without saying it was inappropriate because I think that would have called out more than, you know, the actual words that I said. But, you know, so we have to, we have to, we have to choose to not allow, you know, us as women, us as professionals, us as, you know, whoever it is that we are, be disparaged by anyone. So that said, the conversation moved on, or the conversation that we're talking about today moved on to thinking about, well, what can dads do to influence change in their boys and in their girls?

Girls.

So that's how I got onto this. Okay, so what lessons have we learned from our dads? And then what lessons can dads start to pass on to their daughters? What can they start doing differently when they have girls and/or when they're raising their girls that they may have already had that can change the tides for us? And if you go to sheddingthebitch.com, actually, and ballifierconsulting.com to the blog post, you'll see a posting that basically is a call to action for dads towards your girls. What could you be doing differently? And some of the things that I said is, you know, keeping in mind, you know, they're daddy's little girls no matter what. And we're not asking anyone to change that. We don't want you to change that. That's one of my, kind of my tips. We want men to see us, we want our dads to see us as their little girls. We want men to see us as beautiful women, you know, dressed up in our dresses and heels and, you know, jewelry. We don't want to be manned up in, you know, black suits with white shirts that mirror exactly like they do. Some going as far as wearing a tie thinking that it's kind of accessory cool, but, you know, in my opinion it's not. But anyway, so what can Dads do today, immediately, to start kind of shifting the tides for girls. So let me just, you know, read to you some of the things that I had suggested. Teach your daddy's little girl to be a strong, fearless, and confident girl. We all want that in our girls. We certainly want it in our boys, so why wouldn't we want it in our girls to be the same? And fortunately, when we get to talk about lessons, I'll tell you what my dad used to tell me. Teacher sports. You know, I used to always kind of look over at my dad and he'd have one of the boys on his lap and they're reading the sports page or maybe they're looking over the stocks page. Now granted, a lot of us have iPads on our laps now, but the point is there definitely is a different socialization, a different education of even news, even stats, financials that go on between a father and a boy versus father and a girl. And granted, you know, girls might want to go play dress-up versus, you know, learning sports stats, but there's other ways to teach them about, you know, data, about financials, about money. Engage with her in sports and competition. Teach her competition. Teach her how to play fair. Teach her how to compete, but compete in a sportsmanship-like manner. Because guess what? Business is competition. I don't care what you say about it. Life is competition. It's just a matter of how you go about it. Let her tag along with you when you buy a car, when you're buying a house, when you're negotiating on something, so she hears and learns what it takes to negotiate and what it takes, what questions to ask, and what it takes to really get what it is that she wants without feeling like she's being taken advantage of. Which, you know, even I feel like when I go to the car dealer or when I go to the car mechanic, you know, I'm going to be immediately taken advantage of because because I'm a woman. So what do I do? I pick up the phone and call one of my guy friends or someone and say, okay, what should I be asking? Teach her to dialogue, debate, and delight, to care for herself, to really challenge herself. Don't be afraid to put an opinion out there. Just teach her how to do it constructively and effectively. And you know, debate school, I always envied that because I wish I had done it, meaning because they learn strategy. They learned how to raise a point and to argue it and debate it and raise facts against it, you know, in order to influence their own point and their own opinion around it. And I think that's important. And certainly fathers and sons kind of have that natural banter amongst them. Treat her like a girl and a woman— we talked about this— while respecting her nerve, boldness, strength, and smarts. You know, it takes It takes a strong man, hmm, to allow a woman to be just as strong, to be just as smart, to be just as powerful, to be just as successful. And therefore it speaks a lot about the men in our lives if they do or they don't allow that from us. And that I'll leave you with as far as kind of what dads can do, even what men can do as far as helping to raise girls and turn them into women that are open and are willing and want to pursue their own goals and dreams. Why shouldn't they? We're both human, we're both people, and we both deserve to be pursuing our goals and our dreams. I just think there has— there's an education and there's a training that needs to happen out there in order for that to happen. So we should not be beating up on men, we should not be beating up on fathers. We should not be beating up on even businesses and business cultures for the attitudes and the mindsets that are out there. What we need to do is arm them with training and with tools that will allow them to make a shift. Alright, so you can go to ballofireconsulting.com or even sheddingthebitch.com since we're on Shedding the Bitch Radio, right? And read my blog post around a dad's call to action to his little girl. And of course that girl turns to be a woman, and that's what it's really all about. So I think it's something for all of us to be able to pay attention to and actually affect in each and every part of our lives. You're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio, and this is Bernadette Boas, and I'm so glad you're joining us for this kind of special topic about lessons of a father to his girls. I'm not leaving you out, guys. I do have a guy population. Of listeners out there. Not leaving you out, I just want you to kind of put your, your dad hat on or your guy hat on and really what you could be doing and what you are doing as far as the lessons you are teaching girls, good or bad, right or wrong, no one's here to judge. But what could we be doing about those lessons in order to help women be the strong, bold, fearless women that they can be. And if they naturally are, then having them confident enough to live it and breathe it, so to speak. So, lessons from dad. Now, you know, in my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch, I have a whole chapter on my— both one for my mother and one for my father. And we talked on Mother's Day, I believe it is, and I do every year. Regarding my lessons from my mother on Mother's Day. And my dad, certainly being that he was my main mentor and best friend, probably not until I was in my early 20s, quite honestly, but in my adult years and in my business and career years, he was certainly always there to lend his entrepreneurial and corporate lessons. And I sat there, you know, not really realizing I was learning and growing as a result of his advice, but I certainly was. So some of his lessons for me was— one of the main ones I think most of my brothers and sisters remember is: Leave things better than when you came. So, meaning when you show up, whether it's being a guest in someone's home or at a job or in a relationship, focus on Making sure that when you leave, you've left it— you left the people, you've left the environment, you've left the business, you left the results better than when you came. And at first I only ever saw that to be kind of like, you know, when you're a guest in someone's house, please clean up, make sure you dust so when you leave it looks good. But I realized over the years it really feeds into so many areas of life. It feeds into, you know, if you're going to go and work so hard in a job, whether it's for a company or for your own, do it because you want to really achieve greatness in that role, in that job, in that business. Do it because you want to, you know, make the people there better, make your clients better, make your business more profitable so then you can, you know, give back into the community. Community. You know, if you're going into a relationship, go full, go all at it, make the best of it. You know, whether that's hard lessons for yourself or it's, you know, challenges that you might have within that relationship. Him telling us on a regular occasion to leave things better than when we came was really also saying, at least for me, When you leave this world, you want to leave it better than when you were in it. So each and every day, contribute to the world the, you know, beauty and the blessings and the richness that you possess. And I'm so grateful that I've always paid attention to that lesson because it evolved over time. And certainly when I was living in the mindset of a corporate bitch, I certainly wasn't I wasn't looking at it like that. I was looking at it more about me, me, me, me, me. And here he was saying, no, it has to be— you want to leave everything, everyone around you better because you were here, you were in it. And I don't know about you, but for me, that's a huge lesson of legacy. That's a huge lesson of just what do I want to contribute in the world, and that's the question, I would throw it back at you to ask yourself. What do you want to leave in the world? And then of course the second one, and there's so many, but I want to get to some of our listeners' input. The other one was, and I really took this to heart, I didn't even wear a pair of jeans until I was 40 because of this little comment, but he always told us if you dressed up, you're accepted anywhere. You dress down, you're rejected. In most places, meaning that, you know, if you actually take time to prep yourself and to put on a nice dress or a suit or a pair of shoes, you're not going to get rejected from many places. The doors are going to be open toward you. You show up in baggy jeans or sweatshirt and sneakers, and most likely the country club or the, or the, you know, PTA community or whatever the case might I hope you get my point. They're most likely even going to reject you. So always kind of dress up, always put that extra effort in there. And it actually ties back to his first tip about leaving things better than when you came. It's basically, you know, show the— put your best, best, best face and foot forward in the world. So those are his, and I'm going to be posting a number of his life lessons on sheddingthebitch.com, so feel free to go back there at the end of the day when I post the radio program as well and to read more of the tips that he taught me as well as my 11 brothers and sisters. But I want to get to some of the ones that you've provided. Ann Michelle Timmerman on Facebook said, "My late father encouraged the expansion, creativity, and curiosity of our minds, and that learning was a lifetime process. He would say, "Be humble as you learn about the world around you, for you will then realize how little you know." Now I talk a lot about being a lifetime student, and that's what I took from this lesson of Ann Michelle Timmerman's father, is be humble because trust me, you're only a nit in this universe. Sandy Weaver-Carman says, "My dad taught me how to think things through logically." and how to do things for myself. He also taught me not to leave a bottle of nail polish on the table during our yard sale. He sold it mid-manicure. I'll get back to that in a second. But yes, thinking through things logically— women, we're emotional. Let's put it out there on the table. We are emotional beings. That said, there's a way for us to take that emotion and use it more productively and positively toward what it is that we want. And when you come up against a big decision or a big issue or a big challenge or a big risk, looking at it logically— I talk a lot about writing it out, pros and cons and your goals and your tasks and your activities and the risks, because black and white is just that, it's black and white, it's logical. And then you find the solutions or the paths or the ideas toward achieving whatever it is that you're trying to, whether it's solving that problem or going after that risk and mitigating any loss or any damages that you might have. Ruthann went on to say that, you know, writing a letter to your father is a great way of expressing your gratefulness toward his lessons, and I absolutely agree with that. So I appreciate that, and I have a number of more, but we're running out of time because this week we were only going to have a special 30 30-minute program and I want your feedback on that because I started with 30, you asked me for an hour and then I was also asked to kind of give you these small little bites. So I'd love for your feedback on that on Facebook or on sheddingthebitch.com or even on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. But think about what it is that we as women can then ask our fathers, ask our husbands, ask our partners, ask our brothers to help with in regards to this shift of the mindset and the attitudes towards women and their position and their opportunities to pursue the goals and the dreams that they have. Because again, we as women, we as men, we as children, we all deserve the opportunity to do that without any question, shame, you know, embarrassment or hesitation. And then join me next Tuesday again on Shit and the Bits Radio, every Tuesday at noon Eastern noon Eastern time. And check out our videos on sheddingthebitch.com's video page, YouTube, and on Facebook. And share with me any of your comments or questions. And I'll look forward to seeing you next week. Take care, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.