Let's Connect And A Little Bit About Me...with Bernadette

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shading the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. Today we're going to be talking a little bit about me. Over the last, I would say, 6 to 9 months, I've gotten a lot of people reaching out to me as a result of you tweeting and sharing and liking the, the show. And they're looking to kind of learn more about me. So I thought, well, what a fun episode to have, taking a bunch of questions, random questions, both work and life, and allowing the community to learn a little bit more about me. So I'm just going to go through a series of questions that I've been given and share with you just off the cuff, kind of a little bit about what Bernadette Boas is all about and who she is, and what am I looking forward to in 2023. So I would love to also learn more about you as well. So I'm going to be posting a, um, a series of posts. You can go to our Shedding That Bitch Facebook page or on Instagram And I'm going to share the same questions and give you an opportunity to also allow us to get to know you. All right, uh, so let's get into this, shall we? So what's the first question? How did you get into coaching? Uh, this one was, I guess, by choice. But when I, when I left corporate America in late 2007, In 2008, I started my own consulting business. And yet I found that very much like this show, what I found was I love asking questions and I love learning and discovering about other people and helping them kind of learn about themselves, make decisions for themselves, understand for themselves what might be actually going on. Within themselves, within their work of their life. And therefore, it was pointed out to me by several clients that I would be really good in the coaching space, which is all about asking questions and really guiding your client to the answer, the decision, or the opportunity, or the next adventure that they want to be going on. And so I just said, okay, I'll put aside my consulting because I was getting more and more work in the coaching space, and I'll heavily focus there because nothing gets me more excited than the aha moments that I get from my clients, or, and my clients actually receive. So that's pretty much how I got into coaching. What role has your family played in your career? Wow, uh, this is a big one. And, uh, for those that do know me and know that I'm one of 12, I get this question a lot because when you are one of 12, it's almost like a business in itself. Um, but at the same time, there's just a lot of personalities, therefore a lot of inputs, a lot of opinions, a lot of advice, a lot of ideas. Um, my family, my blood family, I guess I would call it, my siblings, um, and my parents. God bless them, they're, they're gone now, but they played a significant role throughout my life when it even came to my career. My father, um, having 6 daughters and 6 sons, always taught all of us just to go after anything and everything that we wanted. Take risks, don't, you know, worry about failing. And really just kind of following your path and your heart as to what it is that you want to be doing. So that gave me the courage and the confidence and the know-how to really just go off and leave college with already with a corporate career, and then take the chances and the risks and the opportunities that I had been given. And yet at the same time, a number of them have played significant mentoring roles for me over the last 5 decades plus. So they play a significant, significant role. I am single, but I have a lot of 4-legged children that hang out with me. But, you know, when it comes to family, I would say it's my siblings and, uh, the small group of friends that I have. And they just always, always want to, um, challenge me and motivate me and support me, while at the same time they play a significant role when it comes to, um, kind of playing devil's advocate and really ensuring that what— whatever decisions I'm making, whatever, uh, steps I'm taking whatever opportunities I'm pursuing, that it's in my best interest. And therefore they can kind of, you know, draw a hard line and, and be really direct with me. But you know what, that's what I like and that's what I want. And that's also a lot of what I give even to my own clients. So I always appreciate that. What do you do when not working? Now if you have followed the the show over the last 12 years, we've been doing it since 2010, so I guess it's 13 now. You will know that there are a few passions that I have outside of work, and that is puppies and pickleball. And then, of course, my family and friends are the core and the heart, and I try to spend as much time as possible with them. But I would say it's puppies and pickleball. If you don't know what pickleball is, look it up. It's the fastest growing sport in the country right now. And I learned it through one of my sisters about 4 years ago. And the minute I picked up one of those paddles, I was obsessed. And I've been addicted ever since. And if you are ever looking for me, especially outside of work, you will find me on a pickleball court inside or outside somewhere around Atlanta. And even whenever I travel, I always bring my pickleball paddle with me in case there's opportunities to, to find a place to play. But then puppies are my heart too. So I take in a lot of puppies. I look to babysit a lot of puppies only because of the fact that I just love to have animals around, specifically dogs. What are you most passionate about? I've learned, especially over these last couple of years or a few years now, I'm passionate about just living, period. And I'm passionate about living fully and living truly. And, and that's to say, I had not for many, many, many years lived authentically, lived truly, lived me. And so although I've been working on that, and that's where Shedding the Corporate Bitch came from many, many years ago, 12 years ago, uh, I still work today to fully understand who I am, what I want, what I don't want, what really turns me on, what turns me off. But I'm constantly now, you know, wanting to learn more and more and more about me so I can be the best Bernadette I can be. And so, uh, I'm passionate about that journey, about that transformations, those small shifts and those big what I call God speaking moments. So, um, that is what I'm most passionate about, is just living. All right, let's see. What nickname do others call you? I'll start with today and then go back and then come back to the present. So no one really calls me anything today. Well, they might call me a number of B words, but they wouldn't— they wouldn't condense Bernadette in any way, shape, or form. I absolutely love my name, and though my family calls me Bern, Since I left my family following high school, I've always ever wanted to go by Bernadette and go by Bernadette. So if you happen to call me Bern or Bernie or Brenda, I will correct you very quickly because I absolutely just love the name Bernadette. Now in my past, I have been teased and joked of being called Saint Bernard. It wasn't necessarily a nickname that I wanted to take on or own. However, that teasing and you might call it ridiculing, you might even go as far as not necessarily bullying, but also gave me a backbone, gave me confidence and strength and boldness to kind of shut that down and to kind of correct. Even to this day, when someone does call me Bern or Bernie or some form of Bernadette, I do not hesitate to say my full name, or my name is Bernadette, and they respect that and appreciate that. And then you'd have to ask my family and friends if there are other nicknames they might use, you know, without me knowing. That's, that's all I'll say there. If you could do anything, what would it be? I had taken probably the last 14 years since I left corporate, and I was doing a massive amount of traveling back then. I had taken the last 12, 14 years off from traveling. And when I say traveling, I mean getting on a plane for a good number of hours and doing it on a regular and consistent basis, and more so for work than for business. I'm sorry, for work than for my personal life. And yet even my personal life got affected over the last 12 or 14 years of just being exhausted by dealing with what it takes to travel, getting on, you know, getting to the airport, getting through security, getting to the plane, sitting on the plane, so forth and so on. You get it. However, I would say over the last 2 to 3 years, that's changed. And that it wasn't only changing because of everything we've been through for the last 3 years as a, as a world, but more so because I was starting to, to kind of relax and, and open myself up to want to have new adventures and journeys, and even from a business perspective. And so, um, if I could do anything right now is I would spend a good amount of my time traveling and working remotely because I can, and doing it from both a business perspective wholly or doing it solely from a travel and adventure perspective, going around the country or going around the world and taking my laptop with me and even my microphone and blending travel with my work. And so that would be one thing if I could do anything, and I will be, you know, that would be what I would do. What has been the biggest challenge in your life or work? Wow, how much time do we have? Um, what has been the biggest challenge in your life or work? I would say from a life perspective, it has been this shedding journey that I've been on over the last, um, 12, 14 years. Um, and you'll hear another tagline in you know, the work and my life shifting from bitch to rich. Uh, and so that in itself has been a really big challenge. And many people will ask me, when they ask me this question and I answer it like that, why is it a challenge? Well, it's because the fact that when you do decide to go on a personal, what I call excavation of your soul journey, you are uncovering things that you like but things that you really don't like. And not only don't like, but I experience complete shame and disgust and humiliation and embarrassment toward myself as a result of what I was discovering about myself. And so that was very challenging to go through. Now, you know, I could mention writing my book, turning the book into a screenplay, losing $150,000 um, in my first 6 months of owning my business back in 2008. I could mention, uh, let's see what else— being fired by my mentor of 12 years in late 2007. However, all of those things were great lessons for me and great experiences that fed into the openness I had to deal with the challenge of discovering who I was, who I wanted to be, who I didn't want to be, and, you know, walking that journey. So I would say that, you know, my shedding journey or my shift from bitch to rich has been the biggest challenge. Everything else in my life, as well as yours, being persistent and determined and focused and clear I've been able to overcome them, and so could you. All right, what would you say to your younger self? I see this question all the time. I'm not asked it as often as one would think when they're doing so many, you know, interviews. But what would I say to your younger self? I would just say, go for it. I would just say go for it, regardless of how hard it is or easy it is, how scary it is, how exciting it is. I would just, you know, share with a teenager, share with someone in their 20s, just go, go for it. Whether, you know, you feel you're ready or not, whether— at least for me, it was whether I felt ready or not, whether it did scare me, whether it did, um, you know, kind of challenge me in any way, shape, or form, I would just say go for it. What really pisses you off or stresses you? What really pisses me off is all the intentional hate and the intentional bullying and blocking that goes on in the world, in every area of the world, um, whether it's friend to friend or friend to stranger, whether it's in an environment like, you know, school or work, whether it's in politics or it's in the entertainment industry, whatever it is. Um, what really pisses me off and definitely stresses me out is turning on any type of media and just hearing all the fear-based, angry, bitter, hate-filled commentary. And so if I was to get really laser-focused, I guess I would say all the fearful, hateful, um bitter, you know, media. That's the commentary and media that's out there that I, I don't even— um, well, I should say I often don't even turn on the television or the, or the radio, um, or the news of any kind because I just am exhausted and totally drained from all of the ugliness. That is out there. What movie or TV show have you watched over and over? Um, a TV show, Big Bang Theory. I could watch it over, over, over, over and over again, and I do. Um, I also have gotten into all the, um, um, NCIS series, um, whether that be NCIS Los Angeles, NCIS the original, and, uh, I can watch those episodes over and over and over again. From a movie perspective, I would say it's, um, movies like The Wedding Planner, uh, it's Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey. I have watched that Eminem epis— uh, you know, uh, segment, uh, scene, um too many times to mention. At the same time, I also love things like Funny Girl, musicals. I love musicals. So, you know, I've seen musicals— The Way We Were with Barbra Streisand, who's also Funny Girl— um, over and over and over again. I can't say there's— what does success look like for you? Oh, um, in the past, success has been about power, position, and prosperity. It's kind of those three things is what propelled me into even all the work that I do today about shifting that, um, attitude, or what I call bitches, of power, position, and prosperity, and really shifting it to more the riches. So success to me means my being happy, fulfilled, Content, not content in lackadaisical, but content in that, again, happy and fulfilled. Joy, love, friendships, and connection. And speaking of, you know, our title being, you know, a little bit about me in 2023, my goal for this year is even to succeed in building true deep, even just few connections and relationships. And that, that will be success for me, even beyond, um, how successful this show is, how successful my coaching business is. Um, what I'm looking for is fulfillment, is happiness, is joy, is love, is connection. How would your family and friends describe you? Uh, I would— I'd have to say today, as opposed to my past. Um, I would say that they would describe me as bold, as, um, sometimes brash. Uh, I would think they would describe me as funny. And, um, social. They would describe me as intense and fearless, maybe as opposed to fearless because I certainly have my fears. They might call me fierce. They would describe me as determined, focused, very results, goal-oriented. Um, yeah, I would say all of that. They would also say that I was compassionate, empathetic, caring. And at the same time, I've learned over the last 12 years of my shedding process that I also really get off on other people's successes, especially when it comes to women. And it— so if I went back to that question about passion, One of my passions has really turned into being to lift up women, girls, young ladies, and women, because I just feel that myself and others, we struggle too hard for our value and our worth. And we deserve a tremendously more success than what even we feel we deserve. And so, um, I would say, you know, they would, would say that I was definitely passionate about my causes. What has been the biggest thing you have overcome? I would say, um, I would say shifting from the nasty mindset, behavior, and attitude I used to have to becoming the woman that— the, the woman that I am today, um, you know, has been the biggest thing I, I have overcome is just confronting kind of who I was, all the good, bad, and the ugly. And there was a lot of ugly at the time. And just chipping away to shift it out of, you know, that space into a more rich, happy, compassionate, empathetic, kind space. And that has probably been the biggest triumph of overcoming that I've had in my, in my life. Who is the biggest influence in your life? I would say my family as a whole. Um, I wouldn't say that there's an individual, but I would say that my family as a whole. And I don't know that even every one of my 11 siblings would know or understand that, why that is. Um, because, you know, I spend a great deal of time with my sisters, not so much with my brothers. I communicate a lot with my sisters, not so much with my brothers, for a lot of different reasons. Nothing more than just kind of time and engagement and connection. Um, but at the same time, everything that I do and every reason I do it is to be a better individual and better woman and a better sister, as well as friend and lover and everything else, um, but for them. So then we can be a much tighter and much more connected unit as a, as a family. And that— before I start crying— that is everything to me. That is everything to me. Uh, what has been your biggest lesson from someone in your work? What has been the biggest lesson? Well, um, now this— I've had a lot, a lot of lessons in this space, in work, obviously. Who hasn't, right? Uh, I would say the biggest lesson and teaching that I've gained and I wasn't even aware of it for a couple of decades, and yet now I lean on it often over, I would say, the last 5 years. And that is a lesson that I learned from a boss/mentor. Her name is Nikki, um, God rest her soul. Um, and I was in my late 20s and I was a buyer, with a buyer of lingerie for a department store, one of about a team of 7 other women. And Nikki had this unbelievable ability to adapt her style to meet another person, or this, another one of the women, where they were. Or are, uh, in order to really have the greatest effect and impact and get the greatest result from her. Why that's important and has become important to me over the last 5 years is because it's everything that I want when it comes to the work that I do, when it comes to the coaching, when it comes to the transformations I want my clients making. So Nikki had this ability that she, you know, we could all be in a conference room together, even for Monday morning status meetings. And we all had very different personalities, everything from someone who is very genteel and timid and needed a lot of stroking to ones that were very much like me, that just needed to be told straight, needed to be pushed, needed to be challenged, and needed someone who was very direct. And everything in between. And Nikki had this unbelievable ability to literally be talking to one, and as she's talking, her whole body, voice, um, um, inflection all changed and adapted to how and what that individual needed. And then she'd go to the next, then to the next. End to the next. And, you know, you could literally physically, emotionally, everything, um, see how she adapted and transformed. And it's a skill that I totally overlooked for many years in my own corporate leadership roles, and even in, you know, the first several years of my own business. And then I just saw, you know, and I just, I, you know, like I said, my passion is really discovering myself and learning about myself and learning who I want to be and who I don't want to be. And so on this journey that I've been on for the last 12 or 14 years, I've been studying kind of, you know, the psychology, psychology of humans and really kind of what makes them tick. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. And therefore it started really becoming relevant and important to me to understand, you know, how I can learn that skill set and use it with my clients and get the benefit from my clients, um, and the work that I do, and they gain the benefit from me as a result of having that skill skill set. And it's— it was the biggest lesson that I had learned many years ago, and yet only really became, um, aware of its influence, influence on me in the last like 5 years. Uh, what do you regret the most in your life? Um, this I'm asked a lot because I have a lot of conversations with other experts on this show and in my coaching practice. I don't have regrets. Um, I just, I really honestly don't even understand the concept. I mean, I understand what it means, but I don't understand the feeling. And that goes back to something I said earlier about the fact that when I experience something good, bad, or ugly I experience it, I take from it, meaning I pay attention to it, I learn from it, uh, I make adjustments or a shift from it, and then I kind of put it behind me. And so I, you know, I think that the reason why I don't have regrets is because of that practice. All the things that I've done, uh, and this question can kind of, well, my answer can kind of piss off people. Sometimes because they're like, well, do you mean that, you know, all those years that you were so nasty as a boss, as a, as a friend, as a lover, you know, the impact you had on other people, you're not regretful of? And it's not that I'm— it's not that I haven't considered what other people were feeling and the impact that I had on other people. All I could do is learn from it, take from it, and shift and change and do something different. And so I can't regret that learning. I can't regret that transformation and shift as a result. And I don't— there's nothing I can do about it other than to take from it, learn from it, grow from it. And that's what I choose to do. What are your plans for 2023? I, I think I might have even mentioned it earlier. Of course I'm going to have business and life goals. I'm a very goal-oriented individual. As a matter of fact, if you go back to last week's episode or a recent episode, we talked about, you know, um, goal setting, Goals to Riches. So I'm huge on that. However, I really made a decision after some deep contemplation over the last week or so This year I am going to really heavily focus on finding those connections and relationships and to consciously, intentionally go after them and work on them and make them as deep and as rich as I can, whether they are already in my life or that they're new, whether they're strangers or they're family.