Let's Talk.... about shedding! What it means, what it does, how to do it.

BlogTalkRadio.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com. Setting the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at settingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you on this Tuesday, the last Tuesday of July? Oh my God, I know I say that quite often that I can't believe how fast time goes, but it really does. It goes too fast. And when you think about it, you know, come August and then all of a sudden you're gonna see Halloween, then Christmas, and then another year. Oh my gosh. And not only that, But you may not believe this because my family up in the Northeast certainly do not, but our kids in Georgia are back to school. It is July 30th, not even August 1st yet, let alone Labor Day. And yes, a good number of our kids went back to school today. So my sister, my sister reaches out and says, um, You mean like camp or, you know, summer school or, you know, whatever. And I'm like, no, they went back to, they went back to their yearly academic school year yesterday. And then the bulk of them go back next Monday. Yes, we in the South tend to start very early. At the same time, they get out very early, long before many of you around the country. But I don't know how I feel about it. I don't have kids, as most of you know. At the same time, even reflecting on it, I don't know. I would think parents would want them back, you know, at some point, you know, closer to Labor Day to get that full kind of holiday summer 3-month break. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, Deborah, are you out there?

Yeah, I'm here.

I saw that you dropped earlier. What's your— when do your kids go back to school out in California?

Well, the school district I live in, they go back on August 14th, but we're homeschoolers, so we go back when we decide to go back.

So I have our kids start—

yeah, I have my kids start, uh, on the on right after Labor Day, so the Tuesday after the holiday.

Right, right, right. And for what reason?

Just so they have a longer summer break, so, so they feel like they got enough rest. Um, also it gives me a break, you know. I'm their teacher, so is their dad, so it gives me time to plan their curriculum. And I just, I don't, I don't I keep seeing them making school years longer, and I don't necessarily feel that that's conducive to a good learning environment. It's not about how long you go. It's about what you learn when you go. Kids are little human beings too, and people tend to forget that they feel the same way we do. Imagine if you were supposed to have a 3-month break and then got called back into your corporate job or a month early, you know.

So, right, right. No, that's fair.

I like that. Yeah, so we take breaks throughout the year too, do the holidays and all that. So it's, it's more about what you learn as opposed to how long you're sitting in a classroom, in my opinion.

Yeah, I, I would have absolutely have to agree, but it just— see, oh, it's just so bizarre, I guess, because for, you know, decades I, uh, growing up in the Northeast, I didn't go back to school until after Labor Day and I got out in June. And here it's you go back before August and then you're getting out in early May. It's just weird. It's just very weird. But anyway, for those of you parents out there, you could always let us know on our Facebook or Twitter page of Shedding the Bitch. Just let us know what your thoughts are from a parent's perspective. I just also being one who lives in Atlanta, which is a crazy, crazy, crazy traffic town. I remember my sister and brother came into town to see me doing stand-up comedy back in 2003, and think about it, 2003, long before we had almost, you know, 8 million people in the Atlanta city proper area, and they were like, oh my God, this traffic is ridiculous. So That's another reason why, you know, those of us— I don't get in my car that often for work, but those that do, you know, they certainly don't like it starting any sooner than they have to and break up the nice summer quiet highways that we have. Anyway, I went on a tangent there, but appreciate Deborah's input and would love to hear yours, and I'm sure Deborah would too. So go to Shedding the Bitch Facebook or Twitter and let us know what your thoughts are. Alright, but today we're talking about shedding the crap that is in your life that you don't want so you can create what you do want. And why? Why is this all of a sudden a topic? Although it is the premise for everything that we do here in the Shedding the Bitch community, but over the last several weeks I've had my own personal experience experiences actually that confirmed for me that even I need to be more self-aware and I need to pay attention to it each and every moment of each and every day of what I'm putting out in the world because I have been attracting crap in my life over the last several weeks. And this isn't to bitch and complain, it's just kind of to remind myself as well as all of you, uh, that we do have to be very conscious of our thoughts, of our emotions, of our words, of our actions, of our decisions, uh, because whatever they are is going out into the universe and then showing up back into our lives in the same vein, uh, but— and we'll talk about what all that means in just a second. But before we do, I just want to remind you of some great episodes that we've had over the last 4 or 5 weeks. They're all out there on Apple Podcasts, sheddingthebitch.com, as well as on blogtalkradio.com. And all you have to do there is search for Shedding the Bitch Radio and you'll find our program. And then if you are listening live, that is between noon and 1 on Tuesdays at Eastern Time, then you can scroll down on blogtalkradio.com and find our chat room. And we are always— especially I am always on the chat room in case you want to chime in and ask a question, tell your story, or whatever the case might be. Uh, so check that out. But some of our latest episodes— last week we talked about being your best you, and it was really focused on those of you potentially looking for a job or a new opportunity, and even if you have your own business as well. Um, but I had just presented, uh, to the PMI, uh, group here in Atlanta. So that's Project Management Institute. And their chapter here in Atlanta. And I did a presentation on specifically it's their career month. The month of July is all focused on careers. So I wanted to kind of give some tips, advice, some tough love about what individuals should be doing before they go on a job interview, during their job interview, and even after their job interview. And more importantly, once you're hired, because the work doesn't stop. And what I mean is the work on kind of attracting and being appealing to a company doesn't stop once you have a job and you start getting that paycheck. There is also things that you need to be doing to leave people and places better than you found them, which is something that we talk a lot about in that presentation, in order to really not only secure your job but also enrich what it is that you're trying to achieve in your career. So that's our episode from last week, "Be Your Best Before, During, and After a Job Interview." And then prior weeks included how betrayal sucks. So if you've ever been betrayed, we talked about how, yes, it sucks and what you need to do to overcome it because betrayal can definitely be something that eats at you if you don't recognize it, you don't confront it, and then you don't work your way through forgiving it and moving beyond it. So that was a great episode as well. And then we, we had Shedding the Mid-Year Bitch, and that is really looking at— because it was July, the beginning of July when we had that discussion, and 6 months have passed in 2019. We're on the back end of the last 6 months, but yet Every day is an opportunity to hit that reset button, set new goals, set different goals, adjust the goals that you have, and work your way to a very, very productive glance at a 2019 that was everything that you set it out to be. And then, of course, Ask Bernadette, and I'll bring that up. It was at the beginning of the month. It's the first Tuesday of every month. I take your stories, questions, and challenges that you pass on to us, and I bring them right here onto the program and dive into them even deeper. Now, how do you do that? I was asked this a lot at that presentation last week. You could post your question, story, or challenge on our Facebook page, Shedding the Bitch, on our Twitter page. The majority of what I get comes through LinkedIn, and I've been flooded ever since that presentation, and our latest episodes, podcast episodes, and you can send them right to my LinkedIn profile, a direct private message to me, and I'll look for them there. I'm out on LinkedIn probably 2 times at least a day looking for any communications that you might be having with me. As well, you can always email me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. So last month we talked about various questions from you about how to ask for a raise, how to deal with competition in the workplace, and we even had a conversation about ex-wives. And it was a— is a woman who's involved with someone who has an ex-wife, and how do you make everybody happy and, and, and deal with all of that to create a very productive, effective family unit. So that was last month, and next week we will be having our August episode of Ask Bernadette, so be sure to send in your stories, questions, or challenges, and you could be included there as well. I am off to vacation over the next couple weeks, So I will actually be getting those next 2 episodes recorded before the end of this week. So if you do want your career, business, or life question included, please go out before like day end Thursday and let me know what that is. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, sheddingthebitch.com, and I will be sure to get those included for our program on Tuesday, which will be prerecorded because I will be on a remote rustic island in Charbot Lake, Ontario, Canada, with no electricity or Wi-Fi, at least not other than for an hour and a half at night. So I will need to be sure that we get those programs recorded and provided to you on, you know, the next 2 Tuesdays in August. All right, okay, so based on our topic for today, which is shedding the crap in your life— what, what it means, what to do about it, and how to do it— I want to set up our rich question. And for those of you listening for the first time to the program, A rich question is something we use to ground you in the topic of discussion for the day. So your rich question for today would be, what have you attracted into your life over the last few weeks that either you want or you don't want? So what has kind of been attracted into your life? Now it could be people, places, things, experiences, encounters. Activities that kind of stand out for you? And were they things that you wanted, or have you been attracting things in your life that you haven't wanted? I want you to ground yourself into the answer to that as we get into this conversation, because it is a conversation regarding attraction. So, Law of Attraction— what you put out in the universe, you get back. And if they are things that you want, then you really want to be considering what you're doing right in order to attract those wonderful things. If they are things like crap, that I'll talk to you about and share with you, uh, what I've been attracting, then you definitely want to know, um, what those things are and be aware of those things and even more, which we'll talk about, so you can make sure that you make some shifts and changes so you stop attracting those type of things. All right, so what have you attracted in your life over the last few weeks, and are they things you want or what you really don't want and you need to shed? You can hashtag with us on Facebook and Twitter, Law of Attraction, or hashtag Shed the Bitch. So when we get back, we'll get into all of that and more, and we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and Shuttingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@ deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. As we mentioned, today we are talking about shedding whatever it is in your life that you don't want so that you can replace it with the things that you do want. And why are we having this conversation? Well, fortunately, and with your blessings and, uh, your, um, your openness. This program is an opportunity for me to share with you and sometimes vent, sometimes honor, or sometimes even get very emotional. And I'm, I'm going to put it out there right now that this might, this topic might get me in an emotional state, but I'll try to maintain. But I try to be as real with you as you are with me. So this subject I found important for today because over the last several weeks I, I found myself attracting nastiness into my life, uh, whether they're people that, uh, I come face to face with, or they've been online, or it has been a situation or two. Now, the people that I've also been attracting have been new people that, uh, I'm all of a sudden going, why, you know, is this nasty person standing in front of me, um, confronting me, playing pickleball with me, that kind of thing. They've been people that I once shed it in the past, and all of a sudden they've appeared again. And they are people that I continue to, have in my life and that I have not gotten to a point of deciding to cut them out of my life, and shame on me, but, uh, and you know, their nastiness has just spewed over into me, which what happens when, when, uh, you know, what might happen when that happens is you either deflect or you let it, um, impact you, and sadly I let it impact impact me, which I'll get into in a minute. But ultimately what it really does, it does create stress, anxiety, to the point, to the point, I'll be honest with you, where middle of last week I had not been sleeping really well for several days early last week. And one night It was to the point of I think I got maybe an hour, an hour and a half sleep. And there was nothing that I could think of at the time, while I was staring at the ceiling, that I could really kind of point to that would be keeping me awake. It wasn't any obvious stressors. Like, it wasn't lack of work, lack of money, lack of food, lack of friends, lack of love, lack of a activity, I just couldn't figure it out. And by Tuesday or Wednesday, I was very much— all my emotions were sitting on the surface. Now, for those of you who have listened before, you know that I talk about the truth sits on the surface. So truth is your emotions, is your thoughts, is your ideas. It's kind of the reality the core of who you are. And everything of me was sitting on the surface. So when I was coming face to face with these individuals— it started with a couple of individuals— it brought— one time it just brought me to tears. I mean, I just sat there and I stood there and I'm looking at this person and I'm like, why am I letting this this person impact me so much, like negatively impact me, get to my core, get to my heart, quite honestly. And I just kind of put my— threw my hands down and just— not defeat of allowing that person to get to me, but more so in releasing and shedding the, the fact that I didn't want it anymore. I just did not want to put up with this anymore. I just didn't know why it was happening. Yet, and I just didn't want it. And so I just kind of walked away, went home, and actually I was so emotionally exhausted in that little kind of maybe a half-hour experience encounter, and it put me to bed. It put me to my bed. There's a saying that's similar to that. It's, um, but it— I was in bed by like 7:30, and I didn't wake up until the next morning. Now, that could have also had to do with the fact that I had not I slept a few days before very well. But it really just physically transformed me in such a way that I just felt exhausted and drained of just not wanting to combat it, not wanting to fight against it, not wanting to fight for it. It just kind of left me feeling completely drained. But what really bothered me the most— and I want you guys to be thinking about this for your own lives— what really bothered me the most is, for those of you not really attuned to law of attraction, you have an excuse. You really may or may not fully understand it. I do.— and I not only understand it, but I believe in it. And I've seen it work in both ways, negatively and positively, in my life. And I was all of a sudden coming to the reality, confronting the reality, that I must be putting something out there negatively in order to be getting this crap sent back to me. Because that is how the Law of Attraction works. Whether you believe in it or not. And if you don't understand it, let me kind of help you with that understanding, with that definition, with— and, and paint a picture. So, you know, you can go online and Google the law of attraction. One of the ones that I found, because I wanted to be specific and accurate with you, is the law of attraction is the attractive magnetic power of the universe that draws similar energies together. It manifests through the power of creation everywhere and in many ways. Even the law of gravity is part of Law of Attraction. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations, and circumstances. Uh, so think about that, but then add to it— because this is where what really was starting to bother me about it add emotions to that. So it's your thoughts and emotions, it's your ideas, people, situations, and circumstances. And that's what I was getting caught up in, is the emotional part of it. So let's, let's kind of, you know, give you some simple analogies or scenarios so you can recognize how this manifests maybe in your life. Not maybe, actually it does, whether you whether you recognize it or aware of it or not, or even if you believe in it. So if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed one morning and you're just feeling groggy, you know, you're feeling agitated, drained, dehydrated, frustrated, angry, maybe bitter, maybe something's going on in your world and you don't focus on shifting it and changing that. And then you go out into the world, maybe to your work or dropping off the kids or, um, or meeting up with friends or going out for your run or just going out into the world in whatever manner you might. Think about kind of what is that mood that you're taking out into the world. Well, you're probably taking out a very moody frustrated, aggravated, agitated, angry, bitter person, right? And think about what comes back to you, because you're probably not going out welcoming and greeting, making eye contact, saying hello, how are you, uh, the world's beautiful, isn't it? You're probably going out being very short, being very curt, being very dismissive, being very just agitated and ugly. Let's just call it overall ugly, and that's not physical, that's just emotional. So what you're most likely going to get back from that is people that don't respond, don't make eye contact, don't say hello to you, work to avoid you. And the situations in your life probably are, if there's bad— if there's traffic it's all of a sudden really bad traffic and you don't want to deal with it. If it's all of a sudden crowded stores or crowded workplaces or too many people talking over each other, or even like this morning I'm watching television and I'm watching The View and it's actually in the background, and even it being in the background and I was hearing those ladies all of a sudden start being so catty with each other and talking over each other and dismissing of— dismissive of each other. It was freaking aggravating me to the point where I was like, oh my God, shut up, Whoopi Goldberg. And I actually had to turn off the television because it started— even if I— even though I wasn't paying attention to it, it started penetrating me and projecting itself out on me, and then I was allowing it to affect me. So very simply, think about that. And, you know, if you did wake up in that, you know, state of being from the wrong side of the bed, so to speak, what that would do for you. Now consider you wake up in the morning, you jump out of bed, you spring from the bed, and you're in a joyful, rested, peaceful, happy state of mind, and you go out into the world you're probably going out in the world smiling, saying hello to people, being very open, not letting the traffic bother you and the noise and the loud people and the busy workplace. Nothing's aggravating you because you're in a really good state of being. Well, that doesn't happen out of— out of— what's the word I'm looking for? It just doesn't happen on its own. You're creating that response from the universe. You're going out in one state and the universe is responding to you in that state. And that's pretty much what Law of Attraction is. And so they, you know, so that'll— it'll say for you, whatever it is that you want to create, or manifest is a word that's often used when it comes to Law of Attraction, you then just need to put yourself, put your emotions, your thoughts, your ideas, your situations and circumstances, put them in the environment that you want to create, that you want to have attracted toward you. And so what does that mean? Well, I was getting more and more frustrated, and the reason why I broke down in tears, uh, was because when I realized that I must be putting crap out in the world, in order for me to truly understand that, I had to do what I coach and preach about, and that is sit down and figure out what was it that I was creating, what state of being was I going out into the world in that I was then having the universe responding in kind. I mean, that sounds weird, but the universe is going to respond equally to what you're putting out, and it's going to give it back to you. So the next thing you know, I sat down and I realized that a falling out with one of those individuals, which I will call friend But I know many of you will roll your eyes because what kind of friend would cause you, or in this case me, to become catty and judgmental and angry? And as much as I practice this, and you would think, oh, as a coach I should, you know, always be just as what it is I'm coaching and practicing. Well, I'm a human. I'm not a robot. And so as much as maybe 90, 95% of my state of being is in that more positive, constructive, productive, effective, happy state of being, I fall prey to what is being thrown at me as well. I'm human. So I did all of a sudden realize that this relationship, this friendship, was causing me to be catty and angry and judgmental. And because I was personally hurt by some attacks that were being made on me. And now, the attacks— that's a very strong word. What they just were, were cattiness, anger, and judgments that I was getting. And guess what? I responded right back. Now, I don't want to say that it, you know, that I am guiltless and not responsible and not accountable to contributing to that. And whether it started from somebody else or it started from me, that doesn't matter. It matters as much as I'm taking responsibility for it, and you would need to take responsibility for it. But what's most important is recognizing that however it started and wherever it was coming from, um, I in this case allowed it to affect me. Then, then there was a situation where online, of course, social posts. I responded to a political post. So that was talking about politics, and I gave my opinion. Now, I gave my opinion very free of any hate speech, very— and any— I didn't include any disparaging comments. I just gave my opinion. Of which then the haters started trawling on and turning it into hate with hateful responses, with hateful words, with hateful derogatory comments about me, of whom— of which they don't even know. And I was close to— didn't fully go there, but I was close to responding, I will say, in kind, meaning in the same way. And fortunately, I caught myself, and I wasn't about to let myself go down that path. And at the same time, my sister even kind of reached out to me and said, hey, look, you know, before this turns ugly— it already did— but before it turns even uglier, you know, you might want to kind of not backtrack. I didn't change anything, but at the same time I just stopped engaging, which is kind of what we need to be thinking about and doing. And then like I mentioned, even this morning on the— watching The View, I was allowing that to feed, to feed into my psyche, into my mindset, and almost got me to where I was going to lash out myself because of the lashing out that was going on, on a TV show of all places. So turned it off and made sure I wasn't going to go down that path. So I recognized I was getting sucked in, and in some cases I got sucked in, um, and then some cases I was able to stop myself. But I— it just made me really just stop and kind of smack myself upside the head and go, okay, this isn't what you want, so what are you going to do about it? And I know that I'm not alone. I know that there's many of you, if not all of you, that find yourself in that place where whether or not it's derogatory, hateful behavior or speech or words, It could even just be negative self-talk. It could be even just disparaging yourself, let alone somebody else doing it to you. It could be just you not, you know, really looking at the world in a very positive, productive light. It's you kind of being, "Ugh," and not feeling good about yourself, therefore not feeling good about the world. So whatever it is that's causing causing you to have this— what I'll just kind of put in an overall thing of negative view on, on the universe. Well, guess what? That's coming back towards you. And so what I want to help all of us, and that's including me, with is some ideas and thoughts and advice on what you could do to shift that and change that, because that's what it requires is change. If you don't like it, then you simply need to shift and make a change. So when we get back, I'm going to kind of give you some advice that even I was given last week when I reached out to a few people, and it's the same advice that I give all of you, and yet I'm human, so I, you know, there's times where I know I need to practice what I preach, but I fall short. As well. So I want to make sure that we can help each other should situations like this come up in your world and how you can make a change right along with the rest of us. All right, we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, insecurity and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at MediaRelations@Virginia.gov. At sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking how to shed the crap in your life that you don't want and what that actually means, what it does to you, the impact that it has on you, and then what you can do to shift or change and create what it is that you actually do want in your world. And a lot of it ties back to, very simplistically, the Law of Attraction. Now, as I had mentioned, the law of attraction is basically what you put out in the world is what comes back to you. So when I realized personally, and we asked you to be thinking about what you've been attracting in your world over the last several weeks, just to make sure— we could certainly go back to months or years, but let's keep it simple and just think about the last few weeks of what you've been attracting, and if it's great then what I want you to be doing— the purpose of the question is for you to be really conscious of that, to be self-aware. Because getting through life in a way that— in the way that you want to live it, you have to be on guard of your own psyche, of your own mindset, of your own words that you're using within yourself. Because all of that is what's contributing to what it is that you're putting out in the world, and therefore what you're getting back in the world. So if it's great stuff and you're attracting great stuff over the last several weeks, perfect. Think about it and think about what it is, what state of being you've been in, and work toward continuing that state of being. If it's crap that you've been attracting into your life— now I say crap, and I've said it quite a few times since we started the discussion because that's how it felt for me. It's almost like when I use the word angst and people are like, why do you use that word? Well, because that's the word that really kind of defines it for me. I could say negativity, I could say things, you know, I could use other softer, prettier words, I guess, but in this case, crap is what kind of woke me up to the fact that I was living in this mindset that was eating at me, and therefore I was spewing it into the world and it was coming right back at me. So think about it, what have you been attracting in your life over the last several weeks? And because law of attraction is what you put out, you get back. So not liking the crap that I was attracting in my life, and it showed up as far as actual people, it showed up as, um, as hate online. It showed up as just me then beating myself up, and all of that makes for not a fun, happy, sleepful, sleepful life. So I reached out to a few friends of mine. By Thursday night— I think it was Thursday night, yeah— by Thursday night I was just over it. And so went out and had a nice full evening of pickleball play with some friends, and then several of us went out afterwards to, you know, for a drink or two. And I just needed to kind of purge on two of my friends and ask for their advice. And there are two people that definitely live by the mindset, even though they don't label it that way, but they live by the mindset of Law of Attraction and productive mindsets. I never heard a negative thing out of their mouths. They always have kind of a coaching, mentoring, supportive nature about them, and their lives reflect it. So I asked— I kind of told them, you know, why am I doing this? Why is this happening? And they, you know, kind of helped me recognize those few few instances that we already discussed, but then they said, you know what, I'm going to be telling you what you already know, but maybe you need a reminder. And I certainly always, like I mentioned earlier, recognize that. We all need to be reminded. I could coach you and preach to you and help you and train you and mentor you every day of the week, but like a doctor who can't operate on themselves, sometimes a coach needs a coach in order to fix what might be broken. So they said, well, first off, the number one thing is the fact that you're so upset validates for you that it's not something that you want in your life. That whether it's those people or those, you know, situations or encounters, And that's good. It, you know, that's awareness. That confirms for you kind of then what you want in your world. So we talked a lot here on Shedding the Bitch about always knowing what you want and what you don't want, because knowing those two things really helps direct you, helps you with your actions, your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, you know, the ideas that you come up with. The steps that you take in life is knowing really clearly what you want and you don't want. So I, you know, learned what I don't want, and therefore their advice was, um, take that knowledge of what you don't want and ensure that what you— the steps that you take, the decisions that you make, the people that you encounter, the people that you allow in your life, the things that you allow in your life lend itself to, you know, what you do want and immediately discount what it is that you don't want. So it's just validation, and that's a beautiful thing. That's self-awareness. That's, you know, one, one nugget of knowledge about oneself, and in this case me and maybe you, of what it is that I need to stay away from. Now, the more— the more— the harder thing they went on to say is, so those people that are still in your life that you are keeping in your life, you have to make the decision to cut the cord. You have to make the decision that you do. Since you already decided those are things and people that you don't want, you need to once and for all do something about it. And I have. In a very short period of time, I have already been working on and working away from, from that type of individual and specific individuals. So that's again a beautiful thing. Then we talked about the fact that instead of taking the hit of others as personal attacks, so when especially on social media, And I know better, but I'm like you, I'm human. So, you know, when people start, you know, start the, you know, saying something that you don't agree with and saying it in such a way that it pulls you in and you just want to go on the attack. I know better than to play into that, but one or two situations allowed, you know, didn't work and I got sucked in, although I recognized it quickly and got myself out. So they just continue to say, instead of taking it as personal attacks, look at it, especially for those that are projecting hate and disparaging judgments on myself or others, and just kind of have compassion for those individuals. Have sympathy for them. Even have pity for them because it's just kind of putting light on their own bitches of fear, insecurity, negativity, low self-worth, whatever it is that they're dealing with. And don't fall prey to it. And that was a great reminder, and therefore I want to make sure that you're doing the same. When people are ugly and hateful and manipulative and negative, as simple as being just negative, being just, you know, ugly about the world, as opposed to getting sucked into it, just simply look at them and whether you say it to them or not, you just say to yourself, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel so ugly, negative, hateful, judgmental. You know, I will say a prayer for you. And I do that a lot actually. You know, many of you know how faith-based spiritual, religious I am. So I'll say that. And just really have compassion for the other person who is that negative, judgmental, hateful being, and don't allow it to get projected onto you. So that was a great reminder as well. And then the last thing they said is just, you know, remain the strong, confident, secure, self-aware person that you are. And that's probably where I was mostly disappointed in myself, is I am 99% of the time, I am a very strong, confident, self-aware individual. And I think I might have even said 90, 95% earlier. It's much higher than that. It's taken me a long time, trust me. It's taken me, you know, 57 years I am to get there. But, you know, now that I'm there, I don't want to be, you know, taken backwards. And therefore I can't allow anybody to, to do that to me. And I just need to, you know, be reminded of that. And therefore you need to remind yourself of that as well. Is, you know, we're on a path of life that, you know, we're going to have our highs and lows. We're going to have the times that we love ourselves and the times that we're just beating ourselves, you know, to smithereens. And then there's times that we feel joy, but at the same time we feel even hate. There's times that you'll feel hate, and it's a matter of just working that pendulum, working those highs and lows, and ensuring that the lows are getting much shallower and the highs are getting much deeper. And dismiss any of those people, places, things, situations that are dragging you down. So for me, it is a couple of people. It is, you know, staying away from things online from the social media perspective. As much as I want to throw my thoughts and my opinions and my ideas out there, sometimes it's just not worth it because there's always going to be those people that just want to, you know, tear you down. And disparage you, your thoughts, your ideas, and, you know, one way, shape, or form. Now I will say on that point, I kind of said to my sister, "Well, I should be able to state my opinion, state where I, you know, where my belief systems are." And she said, you know, "Yes, you certainly do want to be able to do that, and you should be able to do that." Yet I know that we also have to recognize that regardless of our thoughts and opinions, you know, we could say the sky is blue and there's going to be people that go, "Oh God, no, it's black as hell." And we have to be okay with that or we have to be able to find ways to not let it affect us. And then, you know, when it comes to just remaining strong and confident, it's just a matter of always knowing who you are, um, what you believe in, what you want, what you don't want, and not letting other people, um, uh, take or diminish that. And so I appreciated that, um, you know, from my friends, because it isn't anything new. At the same time, we all do need a reminder, um, time and time again, because we are magnets in the universe. That's what law of attraction very simply is about, is the fact that we are magnets and whatever we're putting out, we're getting back. So we first— you, we all need to understand that and believe that, that we are all magnets of every thought, every emotion, every single one of the decisions that we make in our life is all based on on what we are telling ourselves between our ears and what we are believing in our hearts. Uh, and then we have to recognize and acknowledge when we are playing a victim, when we are blaming others, or when we're just getting sucked, sucked into the crap. And we need to make a decision to change that course of action or course of direction. That means changing our thoughts, our emotions, our actions, our ideas, our decisions, so we can take a different path toward what it is that we do want. And then we have to be open and willing and, and doing change. We have to be open to it. We have to do it. And we have to, we have to be okay that it could send us in a direction that we're not even thinking about today. It's not easy. Like I said, I practice self-awareness. I practice Law of Attraction every moment of every day. I spend a great deal of time not in my head but acknowledging and recognizing and having the truth sit on the surface. Yet at times I fall prey to life, and therefore I even have to remind myself. So, you know, as long as you have two feet on this earth, in whatever shape or form that is, it's work and it takes focus each and every day. But you can do it and you can practice it and you can get really good at it, and then when you fall short, You can go back and focus on it and practice it and get really good at it, and you'll fall short again, and you continue the cycle. Um, but whatever you do, find a way to shed it once and for all and, uh, work toward it, focus and practice it, and you'll create and attract the life that you want. Well, I want to thank you for giving me this opportunity to kind of share with you my own, uh, experiences, encounters over the last few weeks. And how we all just every day want to discover, confront, and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, negativity, and everything that pulls us down so we can create and accelerate the riches in life that we deserve. So thanks everybody, and I'll talk with you and have you our next episode being Ask Bernadette, some stories, questions, and challenges that you're dealing with that you can leverage in your career, business, and life. We'll talk then, everybody. Take care. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.