Mortal Moments with Sharon Williams

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Welcome, welcome, welcome everybody, and happy, happy Tuesday. Look who is in studio. Studio, Sharon Williams, one of our popular favorite guests. She's been on the program before, and I've mentioned her multiple times over the last several weeks based on our last lunch that we had and why we thought it was important to come together today to have this conversation about mortal moments. But we'll get into all that in just a second, but you'll see our smiling faces if you're listening to the program live. Of course, you can't see our smiley faces, but late this afternoon you'll be able to go on to our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel and you can watch it, the video, as opposed to just listen. Do both, do both, it's fun. Share, share on both and let your audience also take advantage of this conversation because it's an important one. And again, we'll get into that in a moment, but welcome.

Good to be here. Nice to see you again. Yeah, you too.

And I made mention, I love her jacket. Look at this red Elizabeth Warren jacket. So, all right, we're gonna get into all that in just a moment, uh, but just some reminders. We've had some great programs recently and great conversations. We, um, last week we kind of did a prequel to an earlier episode, so So an earlier episode talked about it's not about visualizing, it's about believing. You have to believe. You can visualize all you want, you have to believe, right?

Yes, absolutely.

And so we had that conversation, but then a number of you came to me and went, "Well, wait a minute, you know, visualization I hear is important and vision boards and all that kind of good stuff." And I actually, I mentioned last week, I was cleaning and having my Guest House painted and came across my vision board that I had put away several months ago for the painting. So I thought, yes, this is a great conversation. So last week was about it. Let's get down to visualizing and what are vision boards all about. So that was last week's program. Go back and take a listen to that. The week before, because the first Tuesday of every month is our Ask Bernadette episode, and basically what that is is simple. If you have a business, career, or life question, maybe you're dealing with a challenge or just a story you want to tell, then you can post it on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch pages. But you can also email me directly, BernadetteBoas@SheddingTheBitch.com. But most of you, 99-something percent of you, actually go out and connect with me on LinkedIn, which I love, by the way, and then you send me a direct message. And so however you want to reach into the Shedding the Bitch community, We just want you to get the support, alright? So just make sure, find us somehow and ask that story, question, or challenge. And what happens is I'll answer it right away because I don't want you to be waiting on tips and advice, but then I'll bring them to our First Tuesday of every month, and you have an opportunity to even call in and dig deeper into whatever that, that question was, and/or You can just take and listen to the program, and I will have brought it up here on our Shit in the Bitch Ask Bernadette episode. So this past first Tuesday of the month, we talked about the benefits of improv classes. So I talk about the improv classes I take, the acting classes, just from a creative perspective, but how it also benefits your career and your personal, interpersonal, professional skills. We talked in our #AskBernadette, one of you asked what the difference was between diversity and inclusion. I thought that was a great question because a lot of people are confused. You would hope not, but there is still confusion, and more so they're confused about the application of it in, in the workplace. So we made sure that that was explained. Then one of you, and the way you phrased it was very interesting, One of you asked about social media and you didn't— and kind of how far can you go, so to speak, on social media because there's vendors, there's employers, there's clients, there's friends, there's family that are seeing it. You put it out there and it's gonna be seen unless it's— you're all of a sudden private and it's closed. But the way you phrased it was, is there ever a place where it is safe No. From folks not seeing it. No, that's just basic. I could have saved the like 5 minutes I had an answer for you and just said no and left it there. So I thought that was an interesting question. And then a great question as well was, um, one of you had asked about, I'm considering doing freelance work and, um, I want to save for a house. What do I need to know about it? How do I go about doing it? So we actually walked you step to step discussing freelance. So great Ask Bernadette episode, and thank you for your questions. Keep them coming. Then we did talk about why must we hate, and that goes online as well. Why are we hating so much online? And damn, it comes down to confidence. And so that's what we talked about too. Stop saying I'm sorry if you want to succeed, ladies. Stop saying I'm sorry. Grab someone and bare your soul. Bare your soul. And that actually came out of the conversation with Sharon when we were talking about bearing witness.

Yes. And bearing your soul. Yeah.

So that was the conversation I had immediately after our lunch, which then I introduced us getting together to have this conversation.

That's fantastic.

Yeah, I just— it was a great conversation the two of us had. We have many more episodes, actually. Years worth of episodes, and you'll find Sharon on both our YouTube channel, Shading the Bitch, as well as our radio episodes. So go to blogtalkradio.com, go to shadingthebitch.com to our radio channel. You can download them on Apple Podcast. Do you know iTunes is no longer?

No, I didn't.

It's gone. Or I mean, they're gonna have to transition, but They basically announced between Apple Podcasts and Apple TV and Apple Music, iTunes is pretty much going to be one of those things that we go, hmm.

I have a lot of music on iTunes.

Well, no, no, no, no, because that's how I found out that I was on Apple Podcasts. I didn't put— Deborah or I didn't put our programs on Apple Podcasts, and all of a sudden they were showing up there and And so I'm just assuming they naturally migrated everyone over. But take a look. And where BlogTalkRadio does a fine job in, you know, how many people go there, but you know, Apple—

Absolutely.

Everybody goes there.

Fantastic.

And so our program's all of a sudden just gone off the wall in regards to downloads and streaming, which is fabulous. So tons of great conversations, great topics, great guests. Great guests like Sharon. Uh, so take a look at any of those places, any streaming service, and you'll find Shading the Bitch Radio. All right, okay, so today's conversation, why we are here today. All right, so as I mentioned, the two of us had a lovely lunch catching up, but yet it then got into discussing bearing witness, bearing your soul, but also about how all of a sudden we become aware of our mortality. But I wanted to kind of give you a little bit more fluff around that. If you look at Facebook or other social media, you would think everyone's lives are perfect and filtered. Every day cannot be fabulous, no matter how optimistic you may be, because both of us are. And these are actually Sharon's words: every once in a while, life gets to you, and you have, and you have what were Oh, what we are calling today, what she's coined, okay? So everyone, once in a while, you know, life gets to us, and what it kind of ends in is what we're talking about today, and that's Mortal Moments, which she needs to trademark or copyright or do something. It's a great term. So when you have those mortal moments, how do you get through it? How long do they tend to last for you? When usually optimistic, what happens when you realize your mortality? So our rich question— there's a number of questions there that you can consider, but those are what we're going to also dive into. But what I want you to specifically be thinking about as our rich question— and our rich question for those of you listening or watching for the first time is, um, it's a question about the topic we're about to have. Whether you've considered it or not, whether you're interested in the topic or not, we want you to be grounded in that topic So, we give you a rich question that you can then consider for yourself in your life, in any aspect of it, and therefore, you're more attentive and you're more tuned in to possibly picking up on the lessons, the best practices, the tips, advice, and sometimes tough love that we'll discuss. Alright? So, your rich question, and you can even write these down, which you know me, I tell you to get it out of your head and put it on a piece of paper, right?

Yeah.

What are your 3 emotions when you think about your mortality? So what are those 3 things that come up? And remember, I always talk about truth sits on the surface, meaning the first things that come to you when you think about mortality, you know, what are those things? Fear, insecurity, excitement, you're okay with it, you know, you're unsure about it. What are those? Alright, so our rich tags for today, Facebook, tweet with us, it would be Mortal Moments, compliments of Sharon Williams, and hashtag #shedthebitch as always. Alright, so those are what we are talking about today, is our mortal moments. We're going to take a quick break, we're going to get some water, and when we get back, we're going to dive into this conversation. We'll be right back. Welcome back everyone. As I mentioned, I'm in studio with Sharon Williams. Sharon is an entrepreneur, she's a kick-ass boss, she is a healthcare management consultant expert and pro, and she serves her clients from both heart and head, I'll call it. She's got brains and she has heart, and I love every time we get together, we always have these very deep, very insightful, very supportive conversations. And one thing that I also picked up on when we were talking too is we also have different views and different, you know, thought processes about things. So that's always a great opportunity to learn and grow when you're collaborating with someone that may even have differing views that you don't agree with, but yet at the same time you're open to dialoguing as opposed to arguing and screaming and being nasty to each other.

Civil discourse.

Civil discourse. There you go. Civil discourse. Yes, I do.

I like that a lot.

All right, so this conversation, as I mentioned, came from a deeper conversation we were having about bearing your soul and being a bearing witness. Yes, and we had that conversation a few weeks ago on the program. When she then brought up this idea of mortality and mortal moments, it kind of like— talk about those three emotions— it kind of like made me kind of go, "Ooh, am I really comfortable talking about, you know, my mortality?" But what was it for you not only from that conversation, but more so about feeling mortal or having those mortal moments. What is it that really intrigued you?

Yeah, so, you know, when I'm working, people see me, you know, it's very optimistic, can-do, make it happen by any means necessary, and always upbeat and high-energy. But every once in a while, when I don't get the resources I need or people aren't playing well in the sandbox, I think to myself, why can't people do what they're supposed to do? Okay, and then I internalize it, which I shouldn't. I take it personal, which I shouldn't. And I call it having a mortal moment where I'm not my best self, I'm not my most optimistic self. And as I was just talking to you, we just, you know, we're both very authentic people. So we don't have to be fabulous all the time. Right. Everything doesn't have to go right all the time. Everything isn't, you know, a jewelry commercial. It's real life. Right. And so recently I've been working on an initiative, and like most entrepreneurs, you have great days and you have some bad days. A deal went— did not go through. And when it didn't go through, I found myself being not as optimistic. I was getting a little dark. I was taking it personal. And I found myself calling, I'm having a moral moment. Admitting I'm not my best self. And even like people who are close to me saying, you know, Sharon, you're usually so optimistic, what's going on with you? I said, well, I've been working on this deal for like 10 months, it did not go through, and then I got a little snippy with some people that are very close to me. They're like, you're not a snippy person, you know, what are you doing? And then talking to you, when I said it out loud, because I hadn't said even said anything out loud, you bore witness to my bad day. You bore witness to me being less than perfect.

Right.

And so there's something about not dumping or purging on people, but just kind of sharing, well, you know what, things aren't going fabulous. Not bad. I got nothing but first world problems.

Right.

But things aren't that bad. And I started to feel better. After I shared that day with you.

Because you kind of like just released it? Acknowledged it?

I acknowledged it. I didn't release it yet. Okay. Okay, because then I got into some other stuff and a friend invited me to a shamanic meditation.

Ooh.

Okay.

Okay, you need to explain that.

Okay. Alright, so from the Native American or indigenous tradition, alright, it's a meditation and the shaman who led the class guess what the word for the day was? The word for today, that day, was release.

Wow.

I was like, oh, this is for me.

Oh, you were there for a reason.

Absolutely. So I acknowledged with you, you bore witness, now I need to release it. Because I am really good at holding on to stuff that doesn't serve me any good. And so through this meditation, I was finally able able to release it. And the message, you know, I don't want to get too mystical with your folks, but the message was on one hand, you know, I lost my sense of humor, okay. So during the meditation, I found myself laughing. Then my spirit animal came up. I know your folks, if you don't mind, I'm getting spiritual.

That's okay.

My spirit animal came up and said, give it to the universe. If it's meant for you, it will be for you. You can't keep pushing everything. Right. Like, I'm a pusher, I'm going to make it happen, and sometimes I can't control everything, God forbid, right? This is news to me. News flash, Sharon can't control everything. So I was actually genuinely able to release it, and then I looked back at myself and I just started to laugh. Like, what was that? What was all that for?

Right.

It was unnecessary. All of that negative energy, trying to control, trying to hold on to stuff that wasn't mine to begin with. And that negative energy, I brought it on myself.

But I want to challenge you and ask you a question about that though.

You know I love it.

So you say that it had no purpose. Well, actually it obviously did. It was, even though it was negative and it was, you know, you felt like you went dark and ugly and whatever the case might be. I think the purpose from what you're explaining is the fact that you realized things. You learned things about yourself. You learned how you were handling it, that it wasn't the way that you would want to feel and want to experience and want to walk through it.

Right.

And therefore, there is a purpose for it. Then the purpose and the reason why you went through it is so you learn and realize what you don't want.

Fair enough, fair enough, but I think I have an idea of myself that I wouldn't be that person.

You wouldn't be—

I wouldn't be negative and I wouldn't lose hope. I thought by now I would learn to stop trying to control everything. Right.

But I expect I'm gonna be doing that until the day I'm in the grave.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

But I need constant reminding, and I had this conversation with my brother actually. Who says, so what if you don't get the deal? What's going to happen? I said, well, I'll get another property. He's like, then stop it. Stop it. You know, and I was like, you know, I could finally hear it, understand it, and emote it.

Yeah. Um, yeah.

No, oh, and so the other reason I thought about mortal moments is, um, because people, when they're looking in on my life, they think everything's perfect. I'm always happy, I'm always smiling, I'm out at City Winery having a good time. Those are the pictures I post on Facebook. And it reminded me as I was just kind of meditating and just assessing myself when I was, excuse me, working for a health insurance company and I was working my butt off and I didn't have enough resources and I had a small team, too small for the work that had to be done. And, but I was like, okay guys, we're gonna do it, we're gonna make it happen, we're gonna—

always the optimist, always optimist.

And I had a meeting with my CEO asking for her resources, and I didn't expect him to say no. He was not a very nice man, probably one of the worst CEOs I ever worked with. He talked about somebody with dark energy. Um, but he said no, and I was like, to myself, I was just thinking, I don't know how I'm going to get this work accomplished, and I don't want to burn out my good people. So I was in my office and I was literally crying, and I said, don't anybody see me? And one of my team members came in And she goes, "Oh my God, you're crying. You are mortal." And I was like, "Of course I'm mortal. You know, I'm just trying to keep things up for us." Right. Keep things up for the team. And she goes, "Well, please take this the right way, but I'm glad." And then she walked out of my office. So mortal moments for me are also just when, you know, you can't be optimistic. You're letting the situation get to you, and sometimes it just has to get to you.

Right. Well, is there any chance that you're also recognizing you're not a robot?

No.

So you have emotions, and as much as we don't want to necessarily feel those negative, you know, needing— I don't even want to say needy, but needing type of feelings, we're not robots, and we can't be high all the time because that's exhausting.

You're telling me.

I mean, you know, so that's exhausting. And we just need to, and I love the idea of mortal moments, but at the same time, for me, I know I have to kind of do that visualization of a robot because I would say for a good 25 years I was a robot. I put on this lovely robotic face of happiness and yet I was a major bitch through it, you know, through all that smiling. But I wouldn't allow myself to feel and to feel those mortal moments, and I love that.

So Bernadette, I think that's why we connect, because you're acknowledging that you did that, and it took me, again, several years to kind of work through it to realize I was doing that, because we have this idea you put your jacket on, you put your corporate smile on, get your corporate hairdo, and everything's perfect, and it's not. And so I think it's almost like you take the mask off and learn to become more authentic in that moment. Right. So when you are authentic and acknowledging, okay, things are not going not going well, in a weird way for me, that's a mortal moment because it's allowing yourself to be human in the workplace.

Right.

Or human in your relationships.

Yeah.

Or human to an external facade that says things aren't perfect and fabulous.

Yeah, I know those facades.

Yes.

How long did it last for you? How long did that period— The anger?

3 weeks. I held on to it for 3 weeks. And then the shamanic retreat helped release it. Then that's the Sunday after I had a conversation with my brother where I'm just laughing at myself, like, what's the worst thing that could happen? I get another property.

Now, has 3— because I'm assuming this isn't the first time that you felt this in your lifetime.

No, no.

All right, so being that we're, you know, seasoned women, would you say— well, like, we're not 20, we're not even 30.

No.

So would you say that you've learned to walk through those mortal moments more gracefully, faster, more easily than you had in the past, or are you continually to— like, have you had darker periods for a long period? Like, mine was 25 years. And then, you know, so, you know, or is this 3 weeks got to you because that was like the longest time time that you felt that way?

I mean, I'm more aware as I've gotten older. I'm more aware as I've connected to more real people. Like, one of the things I've put out to the universe is I want to connect with real people, people who are gracious, people who are kind. So the friends I have around me now will not let it go on. They're like, we know you share what's going on, right? And I'm sharing my vulnerability. You're openly sharing your vulnerability. I'm openly sharing my vulnerability in a way that I did not when I was younger. I was the perfect robot. Yeah. And proud of it.

Right.

And even when things were really, really bad, I would just— I was never a bitch to anybody else because that's—

Oh, that's not who you are.

No, it's not. But I would internalize it to the point where it would make me sick.

Yeah. Oh, that anger, that frustration, wanting to—

wanting to help, wanting to make things better. And so even then I've learned not to do that anymore, because it's like, one of my dear friends I worked with said, Sharon, you need to be more dispassionate.

Dispassionate?

Dispassionate. Because I do care. I do want to like make the world a better place, but it's like I can't do it all. Right. And I can't lose my sense of humor doing it.

When we met up for lunch that day, Sharon does, she's being very truthful in regards to the fact that she's usually 99.9% of the time, very optimistic. Her eyes like shine and her smile. And I kind of sense that during that lunch that something was off. Something was off. Wasn't my place to kind of necessarily intrude until she raised up the subject matter. But I think what I learned from that lunch— we— I learned a lot actually. That's why we're here. That's why I did another show about it, about Baring Your Soul. But what I also learned too is we need to pay attention. We need to be present and aware when someone's light is even slightly diminished, because that's when we need to kind of just reach out and just, you know, not just ask, "Hey, how you doing?" Because you know what we're going to do, ladies? We're going to kind of go, "Oh, great." and then we're going to go home and do whatever we're going to do. We need to kind of like walk gently and ask a little different type of question, more open, a more open question that gets a response other than, ah, everything's great.

Anything wrong?

No. So open questions don't get a yes or no. They get an explanation of some sort. But we have to pay attention. We have to be more open because it is obvious, especially to those like, Sharon, who are typically shining bright, and you just see even just a flicker of a— I don't want to call it darkness. She felt that.

Yes, I think it's fair to say that.

Well, no, no, for you to say that. I didn't necessarily see that, but yet she felt that, so I didn't want to use her, you know, her emotions. But we have to, you know, pay attention more.

Yeah, I would say when we're less than luminous, right? Because I think—

oh, that's good.

And so I have so many friends that I just pick up on that. I think it's how I was raised. Even when I'm talking to my mother on the phone, she goes, "Your voice sounds a little off." Or if I'm multitasking, right? She'll say, "Are you typing in the background?" I'm like, "No." She goes, "This is our time together. I need you to focus." I think we talked about that on our last call about really connecting with people. And so even when she's a little down, I can hear it in her voice, right? Just by phone. Right. So I do that for my friends, and what I'm finding— so I put out to the universe, I would like that for me. And so you did that for me. My other friends are doing that for me, noticing when I'm like less than luminous, less than my usual fabulous self, and they help me heal faster.

Right.

So I think when we're— when we have friends, you can't do this with everybody. You know, you can't dump on everybody. Right. It's not a purge. It's, um, when you have real relationships offline in the real world, interactive, you can see people's eyes, you can hear their voice, and that's part of the connection, that's part of caring, and it's part of how we help each other.

But it's also being present, like you said.

Yes.

Being right there. Absolutely. In the conversation, looking in someone's eyes, looking even in their skin because it'll reflect how they're feeling.

Absolutely.

You know, and just their body language. Yeah, and just being there, not just kind of haphazardly, you know, kind of engaging with someone, because that's not engaging, by the way. It's just being— I don't even know what it is because it's not being present.

It's just being there.

Yeah, being in the room. Yeah, it's being in the room. Yeah, absolutely. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. When we get back, we have a lot more to talk about and also to kind of even provide you some guidance and tips of our own experiences and what you could do to either help recognize that, and maybe in someone else, or you need to actually ask for help, which I know, ladies, we have a hard time doing.

Yes, we have a hard time doing.

We'll be right back. Welcome back, everyone. We are having an awesome conversation with our guest Sharon Williams. Sharon's an entrepreneur, she's a boss lady, and she's a healthcare management consulting guru. But more so, she's a woman who has a heart. And just like every one of us, no matter what our exterior might look like, we have times where we have our mortal moments where we just realize that, oh, I'm not feeling quite myself and I need to walk through it and I need to figure out how I'm going to get on to the other side. So what I really want to also understand from Sharon, because I think it's going to help all of us, especially, you know, any of us that might be, you know, kind of challenged, is, you know, you said you were in this space for about 3 weeks in this latest mortal moment, you know, what impacts, what effects did it have on your life? Because obviously it had to.

Yeah.

You know, as you walked out your door into the world.

Yeah, I was definitely a little edgier to everyone. That was the gift I gave the world. Thank you very much. My edge. And then when I found out that the real estate didn't go through, and this is after like 8 months of of several different attempts, I actually swore at my realtor. I don't swear at people. That's not my job. That's my job. And yeah, she's a nice lady and she worked really hard and I know she felt really badly about this deal not going through. She's a spiritual person and I thought, oh, I swore at her. And I think I was edgy to my parents and the culture of our family is you don't treat people badly. You just don't. Especially not my mom. She's the personification of unconditional love. So I was a little edgy with my mom and that's not nice. And so in that moment I was questioning, should I even be doing this? Should I even be doing this business venture? Does the universe want me to have this? Is this intended for me? And I had to sit back and that's when I released, and I know that sounds weird, woo-woo, but I like how you say it. It's a how-to. You have to give it up at a certain point to see if it's really meant to be yours.

You have to walk away from it?

You have to walk. It's not that I walked away from it. I actually just got quiet. And I got so quiet, my team of consultants that I work with, they called me and they're like, Sharon, is everything okay? And I was like, yes, I'm just being quiet. I'm taking a moment to give it up to the universe and see what the universe has to say. Nice. Because I forgot the universe conspires to help you. I forgot.

I love that.

So when the deal didn't go through, because I had given it up, I could see that it was not meant for me.

I could see that I probably dodged a bullet through that, through not getting that deal.

Because when one door closed, yep, another one opened. And then because my team saw that I got quiet, saw that this was Serious? I have 5 other options right now on the table that we're assessing.

Damn!

Okay, I gave it up and it came in. Now, as my grandmother would say, you don't just pray and not row ashore, right? So I gave it up. I had my team kick in and give me the support they were supposed to, and that's exactly what they did. Now I have more options than ever.

Okay, so you're releasing— because I told her I was, you know, our different terminologies.

Yes.

So I was saying that when she used the word releasing, I see it as just purging, like just like wah, like, you know, just making sure it's not in here, just kind of, and in here, consuming you because that can get ugly. Releasing to you is—

Is trusting that the universe is conspiring to help you. It's being your best self. It's being true to yourself. And I am genuinely an optimistic person. When I had that realization, I called my mom and apologized. I, you know, you have to. I called my realtor and I apologized. I said, that was not my best self. I know you tried everything you could for me. It just was not meant to be. Right. Because I would not want to leave someone thinking I was this nasty person because I'm not.

No, right, right.

But I was having a nasty moment. Right, right.

But at the same time, more importantly, it was beautiful that you address that with that woman, but at the same time, like, every hair on my body stood up when you were talking about the fact that you didn't walk away, you released the hold that you had on this deal.

Yeah.

And you just decided that you needed to let it go and trust the universe.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden, the universe responded with all these other opportunities. I can't tell you, everyone, I want you to be thinking about how often that's happened to you and you just have never thought about it, never really kind of considered kind of what created it. Because what you'd be concluding is that it was a mortal moment that you released, in Sharon Williams' words, and trusted the universe. So trust, release, mortal moment, trust, I'm sorry, what am I— release, trust.

Yeah. And let—

and conspire. The universe conspires to help you, to help you.

I love that. But when you're— when you haven't released and you're feeling entitled to something so specific, yes, yes, you can't see the help that's out there for you, right? You feel backed into a corner you created for yourself that had— that really didn't even have to exist.

Wow. Yeah, I, I'm— and it just drew up like 3, if I were to think about it myself in the way that she is explaining. I was writing my book, got stuck for 3 months. My editor calls and says, "What's going on?" And I'm like, "Nothing." She's like, "Well, you're not writing." I'm like, "Yeah, I am." She's like, "I haven't seen pages in 3 months." She's like, "Meet me at Chick-fil-A." So I run down to Chick-fil-A to meet her, and next thing you know, I'm in tears going, I'm in a place of my story that I'm not comfortable telling and sharing. She's like, well, this is what you signed up for— not signed up for, you know, but that's what you wanted to do, so let it go.

Yeah.

And trust that, you know, there's a reason for you sharing this. And therefore I did. And then I was recently, over the last 2 years, in a lawsuit with a client, sadly. And though I haven't necessarily walked away from needing to take care of that, I just stopped trying to control that somebody else was going to respond in a way that I wanted them to, and they didn't care what I thought.

Exactly.

And so I just kind of went, you know, I'm just gonna release it to the universe.

Yeah.

And we'll see how it turns out. And it's still not resolved, but that's a whole other— but I feel much better about it.

Yeah.

You know, and it's kind of like, you know, it is what it is.—

But that's the first start.—

Correct.—

Because when we're angry about something or we're holding a grudge about something, you know, the other people have gone on. They're not even thinking about you. And you're holding all this negative energy or you're trying to control or fix a very specific outcome. And when you let it go, things get easier. If for no other reason, you feel better in yourself. You feel better in your body even.—

It's true. Yeah. And now I'm going to journal about it after we're done here. No, no, and really consider and make sure that I'm paying attention. To when the universe is conspiring to help me. Because I think we do, we look right past it and not even realize that. So if you had, if you had some tips based on your— especially since it's so recent, you know, to share, because we're women and we tend to think that we have to kind of, you know, take care of ourselves and everybody else around us. Especially when it comes to asking for help. Yes.

How—

what would you suggest to them?

Yeah, so I think— so number one, surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you, that you can have a bad day with, a bad hair day, where everything doesn't have to be perfect. They can see your kitchen a mess and you can let them in and be at home. You have to, you have to be real with somebody in your life. Life is not Facebook. Facebook's a lot of fun, so is Instagram and LinkedIn, but it's not real life. And it has to be in person. And these relationships will allow you a safe space for your vulnerability. You can't be vulnerable with everyone, but you have to have somebody you can be vulnerable with Oh yes. Because there's strength in vulnerability and there's strength in having somebody to ask for help. And not just paid help, even though some people do need professional help, that's another issue, but your informal network should be there for you to support you. And I think for me, because I love helping people so much, early on in my life I surrounded myself with too many people who needed my help. Right. And could not reciprocate. Right. So it's a very specific ask to the universe to surround yourself with people who can reciprocate, people who have heart, and people who see you, the real you.

Now, did you do that when— because the minute you said that you surrounded yourself with people that couldn't reciprocate, it brought me back to my early entrepreneurial days. Yeah. So was that predominantly work-related as opposed to your life, or was it also in your social circle?

It was everything. It was my work, it was my social circle. As my mother would tease me, she goes, "You love a project." I'm like, "Hahaha." And I didn't want to claim that, but then I had to sit back and reflect, right? Mm-hmm. You know, so I reflected and I had to say, "Okay, Sharon, you need to put out to the universe you want people who can reciprocate." people can have a good time. So I think one of the things I love about Atlanta is I'm surrounded by people who care about me, can reciprocate, who reach out, who, who are just really good people. Um, and even professionally, I asked for a different kind of people because I thought, is every person Satan in the workplace? I really thought that. Um, and no, not everybody is. There's a lot of healthy companies out there.

Yes.

And so again, recently I was asking, should I be doing this? And I got a call. It was a referral from another client, and it was like the most wonderful call and a great business opportunity. Absolutely. And the guy sounded sane and smart and fabulous. I was like, okay, so I have to just keep putting the energy out to the universe. So I want to just take a moment. I know I'm talking about energy and meditation, it all sounds frou-frou. Some of you don't know me all that well. I'm not a frou-frou person, but we do need space to meditate. We do need to get quiet. We do need to listen to ourselves, our inner voices, to see what's really going on with us. Because if you just become that robot, that perfect person always smiling, or a Stepford Wife, you're cheating yourself and you're cheating the universe. Of all your talent and all your capabilities. You want to be fully luminous, and I think sometimes you can only do that when you can be vulnerable. I think that's why I wanted to come on your show today.

Yeah, and I love that. I love that. But, you know, and yes, I, I would have to kind of emulate, you know, her in that, um, I come off too often— not, not as much anymore, but, you know, it's just this like packaged, corporate, you know, polished.

Yes.

And, you know, the minute I let all that go and let my vulnerability show and whatnot, it just— oh my God, the weight.

Yes.

I mean, that's where shedding came from.

Yeah.

Because it just like— I just like, whoo! And I felt like I lost 1,000 pounds. And it does sound— some of these words may sound woo-woo. And neither one of us are real woo-woo. I'm more than her now, just because I talk about this all the time. But at the same time, I'm very much like, you know, let's just get it done and enough of this, like, you know. But meditation, my Jesus Calling— I've talked to the audience a lot about my daily devotional, Jesus Calling. Prayer is important to me. Quiet, yes, you know, and then yes, then just going out in the world and being who I am whether you like it or not.

And we love it, we absolutely love it, and we need more women who are bold and authentic and fabulous and embracing that. I just want to share one more thing.

Yeah, absolutely.

The difference is I did a workshop called Mama Gina's School of the Womanly Arts, and one of the things that Mama Gina Gina talks about is women who love to get together.

Well, let me just make sure you attended.

I attended.

You didn't do a workshop.

No, I attended the workshop. Oh yes, yes. Mama Gina is fabulous, but she has books that you can buy, and I start sharing with my friends who start complaining about their lives, and I said, as women, we have to stop complaining. So you can share, right? Right. You can release, but at a certain point you have to empower yourself to make the difference. And the only way you can power it is listening to yourself. So that's where you have to get quiet. And what I try to do with my friends is I try to listen to them and I try to help them be their best selves. So one of my best friends lives here in Buckhead. She was hearing me talk about my dream of my new business, and so she turned to me and said, Sharon, I've always wanted to be— I've always wanted my own café. I was like, if you wanted your café, what are you doing in IT? Right? And you hate it. And I would bring her on to some of my consulting assignments and she was fabulous, but she was not joyous. Right. I said, so why don't you follow your joy? Sell your house, go to cooking school, and be the chef that you want to be. That's literally what she did. She's over in Thailand right now.

Oh!

She's in cooking school in Thailand, and when I hear her voice, She sounds like she's high, and I mean, she's not high, she's not doing drugs, but she's so happy living her life and being her boldest self. She raised 2 kids, 2 different husbands. This is for her. And when people listen to their inner voice and follow that passion, sometimes you— so she had to be vulnerable with me to say, this is what I've always wanted, right? She put it out there, right? I picked it up and helped her run with it. And then we create a community around her network, friends. That's what the network's for. Connect each other chefs, connect to other people in catering. And then she made that move.

Wow.

So, you know, this isn't frou-frou. I want to make sure I don't come off as frou-frou, but I think the vulnerability piece, the honesty piece, authenticity, you'll live a more luminous life and people will see that. You'll light up everybody else around you.

And I think it just occurred to me as you were just explaining that whole woo-woo thing, I think we should be okay with that because it's like mental illness, that term. You know, we, you know, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, oh my gosh, you would never ever ever use those terms because it would just, you know, send everybody running and hiding. And you know, it wasn't something that anybody felt comfortable addressing. I think it's time for us to Acknowledge that we need a little woo-woo maybe in our lives so we are comfortable being who we are and not these robots that we feel we have to be in order to live a full rich life. I love that.

I love that.

And you're living your life.

I'm certainly living my best life.

Yes, you certainly are, and it shows all over you. She's luminous, luminous, luminous, luminous. Yeah. All right, so any last thoughts? For our listeners.

I just want to complement what you just said. Let's celebrate the woo-woo. Let's celebrate the feminine. Let's celebrate our fabulosity.

Yeah, fabulosity. I'm writing that down. Fabulosity. She has a couple terms she needs to start trademarking. Fabulosity. I love that. Well, I love you.

I love you.

Oh my God. Thank you so much for being here. Give a big smile. Yes, I adore you too. And this has been fabulous, and I'm so looking forward to our listeners listening to it. And again, yes, check it out on YouTube. You can see our smiley faces. And of course on Apple Podcasts, BlogTalkRadio, Shedding the Bitch Radio. And this was awesome. And if you have questions and/or you just want to reach out and get some of Sharon Williams' luminous heart. Is there a way for them to reach you?

Sure, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook, and they can also reach me through you because I know you like to track the feedback. Sure, sure.

So reach out to me, ask your questions, make your comments. Please share any thoughts that you have about today's program, and I'll make sure I get them over to Sharon. All right, and I'll look forward— the whole community will look forward to having you right back here Next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks, Sharon. Bye, honey.