Nancy Jamison Exposes Her Secrets of Transformation on Shedding the Bitch Radio

Well, hello everyone and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio on this beautiful Tuesday afternoon, or I guess wherever you are. I tend to do that every week. I tend to just say, you know, it's the afternoon, and meanwhile I have listeners in Japan and all over the world. So welcome wherever you are. I am Bernadette Boas and this is Shedding the Bitch Radio where we talk about how to discover, confront, and shed any of the angst attitudes, negative mindsets, or fears that you have— what I call bitches— out of your life so you're able to really create and accelerate whatever dreams, goals, and riches you so desire. So each week I have guests that are either experts in the field of personal growth, personal development, and so forth, Or like today, my guest is actually someone who I have high regard and high respect for and actually have watched her go through her own journey and transformation. So, we're gonna talk to Nancy Jamison today. But before we jump in and I introduce Nancy, I wanna make sure that if you're listening live or on a recording, call in at 1-818-572-2910. We would love to take your questions. And as well, you can go on to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch and you can even chat with us. And I already see some people piling up on our chat room. And then anytime you can go to sheddingthebitch.com, leave comments, feedback, or even submit a story of your own. And maybe one day I have you as a guest on my radio show, right? Because that's exactly how this came about. So let me introduce Nancy and then we'll jump into this. And again, she's been through a process that's very similar to what we talk about here on Shedding the Bitch Radio around discovering, confronting, shedding, creating, accelerating. So please, if you have questions, call in, chat in, and whatnot. But let me introduce Nancy Jamison. And Nancy is a veteran of the hospitality industry, actually, and she's contributed over 23 years of upper management, operational, and financial experience. Including opening 4 major restaurants. You might know some of them— Houston's, Eatsy's, and others. And at the same time, currently she is working with her business partner, husband, best friend, lover, and, and they, and they have a team, uh, which is a residential real estate business exclusively handled by referrals, which is quite impressive. And JamesonHomeZone.com is their website. So she's based in Atlanta, mind you. However, you go to JamesonHomeZone.com and you can get resources and reach out to someone, an expert, anywhere in the country, correct? But at the same time, you can also engage her no matter where you are, and she'll make sure that she hooks you up with the right person. Because the one thing that I absolutely adore about Nancy is her commitment to her mission statement for her business and for her life, and that is— I'm going to read it to you because I don't want to mess it up— but her mission is connecting you to your dream home, providing a solid foundation for you and your family to love, grow, and thrive. Now, being a business consultant, I have to tell you, you need to like trademark that love, grow, and thrive thing if it's not already. Is it? Oh, it is! Look at that! Oh, I'm sorry, it is. Because it's great.

Thank you.

So welcome.

Thank you. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hey everybody.

And I really want to kind of jump off of this whole mission statement to kind of go back and tell us where did that come from, how did you get to that point of having this mission statement, because so many people think that mission statements are just kind of contrived and just put up on a wall just to make their customers or their employees feel feel good, as opposed to really living and breathing them. And of course, the, the top companies in the world live and breathe their mission statements. And that's how you— I— you've always come across to me, and I know your clients, really living, owning it, and whatnot. So kind of walk us through how you got to the point of just establishing this mission statement, and then we'll talk about your, your journey you've been on.

Yeah. Okay. Um, it started with The business philosophy. Our business philosophy is living and breathing and working by the Golden Rule. You know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And so— I love it. So, you know, without getting too spiritual or religious or anything like that, I mean, it's really doing the right thing and always doing the right thing whether or not anybody's looking or not. Right. And so that's how Bill and I— that's how we work, that's how we live our life, that's what we teach our little boys. And so it was that. And then when I was figuring out what the business— or after I figured out what the business philosophy was, I said, how am I going to set myself apart from other realtors in Atlanta? Because there's 30,000 of them. And so I started asking myself questions. What is it that I really love to do about real estate? What is it that I really— like about working with people? What is it? And it's completely service-driven and service-focused, and I come from the service industry, and so, you know, I really utilize my talents and my strengths as a service professional, as an operator, and, you know, a general manager, and just transform that into our real estate business. And so Bill comes also from a hospitality background, and we love working with people, right? And your house is probably going to be the largest financial commitment you've ever made, and so you, you better love the process of getting into your house because you're going to be in it and living and breathing it. And that connection, when they find that house, that connection brings me the greatest joy. I mean, it's just—

that, that's cool. And, you know, seeing you all the time, and she happens to live, you know, in the same vicinity as I do, I can see that. I can see that kind of that commitment. She works her you know, her tail off. But we're not here to talk real estate, although I do want to stress she is jamiesonhomezone.com, and she is a realtor here in Atlanta but also a resource around the country. So please, internationally too. I take that back, so am I, so I should know that. Um, and it's a flat world anyway, right? So, but what I want to talk about too is getting to where you are personally, professionally, spiritually, relationship-wise with Bill and your children. It hasn't happened overnight.

No.

And sometimes it was a very hard process to go through. When I talk about discover, confront, and shed, and that process isn't a 5-minute ordeal. It could be years. What made you really start wanting to discover and be aware of who you are and what you can contribute to the world, and therefore, you know, your service-minded attitude?

What started it? It was realizing that what I was doing for years wasn't working. I was, I was like the rat on the wheel, and it just— I mean, I was successful and I was working it, and I had a great relationship with everybody else except for myself.

And what did that feel like? I mean, can you kind of describe what that feels like? Because a lot of people are, you know, they just sit there and go, well, that's a lot of nice words, and yeah, you know, and but what does it feel like if someone's going through the same thing you are?

I felt fake. I mean, I felt, you know, like when I— it was very painful. I mean, it was, it was a very painful experience for me to actually admit to myself that I hated myself. And so, you know, people are like, Nancy, you know, you've got a great marriage and You know, at this point, we didn't have any children yet. You've got a great marriage, you've got a great career, you're very successful, you live in this great house, in this great neighborhood, it's great, great, great, great, great. Like, what are you complaining about? What are you bitching about? And it's like, I wasn't bitching, but I, at my core, I hated myself. And so for me to get down into that space, I ultimately realized that what I had done for the first 35 years of my life wasn't working.

Right.

And then better make a change. Yeah.

Now, for those of you who are listening, and you could always take a look because I do video each and every one of these programs, and I put them up on my YouTube channel, Shedding the Bitch. If you were to see Nancy physically, and even, well, right now she's, you know, she's gotten to such a place of contentment that it's reflected all through her, but you would never ever think that this beautiful beautiful woman that's sitting in front of me would ever say the words come out of her mouth, "I hated myself." So how many of you have ever been at that, you know, have had that feeling? And, you know, I don't know about you, but I've been very aware over the last few years about myself. And I'm not a bad-looking woman myself, mind you. But what I find interesting is so many people look, you know, envy and are jealous of people who are attractive and look to have everything, you know. And then like Oprah, I mean, Oprah's known to have billions and billions and billions, but she's one of them— she honestly admits that she's one of the most insecure people. And so, you know, our determination here, Nancy's and mine actually, is to help you relate to us no matter, you know, what situation you're in, your state of mind you're in, right? Yeah. Okay, so you said you discover and you become aware that you're not thrilled about yourself. I don't want to say you hate yourself, but you're not—

I did.

Okay, that's fair.

That's your word.

So yeah, so you did. Fair enough. What did you do next?

I decided to lose weight.

Okay.

You know, I mean, I decided to lose weight and I decided to rearrange my time. Because I was wasting so much time, whether it was sleeping in or it was watching TV, soap operas. I used to watch soap operas all the time.

Why was it— why was that?

The escape. You know, I would escape my life and go into another life, and like, you know, whether it was to fantasize about their life because their, you know, grass is always greener, right? Right. So, you know, it was totally to escape. Sleeping was to escape. Drinking, escape. Going out to restaurants all the time, escape. And not, I mean, it was just to escape that pain. And my personal pain was, you know, the weight that I, the extra weight that I had. And, you know, getting real with myself.

Getting real. So what was the tipping point? What was that, like, what was that thing that took you over the edge that said, I gotta do something about this?

Walked on fire.

My first— she's not kidding. She's not kidding.

It was my first firewalk. But before you got to the firewalk, I knew something. I was not happy. I wasn't happy in my marriage, and this has nothing to do with my husband. I wasn't happy, you know. I wasn't happy with what I was contributing to the marriage. I was slow. I had no energy. I was complaining. I was just a miserable person. I was a pain in the ass. I mean, and it was just something—

all that authenticity—

something had to give, something had to change, something had to change, or I was doomed for divorce. I was headed for financial ruin. I was just— I was a mess. I mean, I was a mess, Bernadette. It was crazy, but I was all very happy outside, right? Right.

Well, we wear good masks, right? Yeah, we wear good personas. Yeah, been there, done that. So Okay, so now you've gotten to a point, and it's sad to say that unfortunately people have to get to pain.

Yeah.

People have to get to that point, and sometimes it's not only kind of emotional pain, sometimes it's even physical. Yeah. I mean, I hear people all the time saying, "Well, I thought I was having a heart attack." Yeah, panic attacks.

Yes.

And they were, it turned out to be panic attacks, thank God.

Yes.

Because, you know, like many people, I have high blood pressure. So I'm very concerned about that. So it's physical and emotional and spiritual.

Oh, absolutely.

And just all aspects of it.

Absolutely.

So you discover it and you say to yourself, okay, I need to confront and deal with this. What steps did you take? What programs? What process? And feel free to kind of shout— do a shout out to whomever and whatever, because I've already done it for them, but you know. And not only, you know, and it could be the programs, it could be the people. So help individuals know what they could do.

Yeah.

Based on what you did.

I started, well, I decided to make a change and I wanted to go in first. I was tired of deflecting out and fixing, you know, like just fixing my house or decorating my house or buying new clothes. I mean, those are all outward expressions, right? And so I made a commitment to myself to get healthy. And so it was, it was 15 minutes a day. I would exercise for 15 minutes a day. That was it. So I started extremely small, and I wanted to build on those successes day by day by day so that I could feel confident in myself and be in integrity with myself before I could then turn it outwards. And like, because I had to, I had to learn how to love myself I mean, again, you know, like as a child would. And I had— so I went in and I did 15 minutes a day. That's it.

Now let me ask you something because I have a number of people that will talk with me about the reasons why they don't acknowledge or become aware and then confront it is because with any change comes even more change. Sure. And therefore, if they start changing, they're fearful that everything around them is going to change.

Yes.

Did you— obviously you had that experience. Absolutely. And can you give our listeners an idea of what are those things that changed, whether it was people or places or things or what changed? And therefore, you know, let's— I mean, we want to make them aware of kind of what you went through because it will be something that they will go through as well.

Yeah, I mean, the fear, what I thought was going to happen, I thought my husband was going to leave me and take my kids with me because I was going through all these different changes, or because I was taking the time to take care of myself instead of take care of my family. So I thought that was going to happen. I thought I was going to lose my family. I thought I would never be in a place where I would have good, healthy friendships again. And what I found with that was all kind of smoke and mirrors. I mean, it was really BS, really. And so what happened was I was— I am completely 100% supported, hands down, no questions asked, all the time now, by my family and by my friends. And it's just— it's totally— it was totally the opposite of what I thought it was going to be.

Now, however, you might not have experienced this, this, but I want to make sure that we kind of give all the ugly and the niceties of this. You didn't lose friends? You didn't have to fire or like let friendships or any relationships go by the wayside?

Oh yeah, oh absolutely. My entire set of friends that I had had, I am not in contact with any of them anymore. As much as, I mean, they are wonderful people, it's just I'm We just didn't drive anymore. What I was doing and where I was going and how I wanted to live my life and how I am living my life didn't work with that set of friends. So in other words, I had to stop drinking so much. I had to stop going out to eat so much. I had to stop numbing myself and get real with myself. And that was, you know, it was hanging out with different people. You know, you are who you hang around with. Absolutely. You know, and so, so yes, that all changed. Changed every single one.

How scary was that?

Oh, it was horrible because, you know, who are you going to call? Or, you know, there was nobody to go out with anymore. There was, I mean, everything. Who are you going to invite over to your house for a dinner party and, you know, put on that mask, right? You know, that whole facade. And so now you're back into it again.

Yeah, mask again.

Yeah, exactly. So it all, it completely changed and it changed for years. I mean, you know, I was, I was inner-directed I am still inner directed, but I was inner directed for 4 years before I actually started coming out and saying, okay, now I'm ready. And now here's my, you know—

Ready for what? What does it mean to go from in to out? Because one thing too, and listeners, really listen to this point, people today do not take time for themselves, let alone 4 years. They don't take 5 minutes a day to really kind of go inward and really you know, focus on themselves. And so I talk greatly, and I coach, and I, you know, public speak and hear on the radio about how that if you even just spend 5 minutes a day on yourself, let alone hours, weeks, months, and in your case, years.

But it's—

that's what it takes, right?

Yeah. I mean, that was my choice, you know. I mean, it was a continual choice to, to, um, go in and, and, and almost recreate and, you know, really get down and dirty with myself and like call out what I consider to be negativity and just completely transform and recreate my life.

Right. And so you obviously had a lot of patience to go through that.

Yeah, it was a lot of patience, and it's a lot of determination, and you know, there's definitely times that it sucks, and, and, but at the same time, you know, the challenges that I encountered were the ones that made me the best, and then you really brought out the best of the situations, you know. So I— you have to go through. I mean, if you're afraid of something, and when I was afraid of something, I went through even more, with more ferocity, because I knew on the other side was peace and prosperity and success and happiness and love and trust. And Three Feet from Gold. Yeah, just keep pushing until you— yes.

You hit gold.

Yes.

And that continues. I mean, because it's a life process, correct?

Absolutely.

Yeah, because I know I'm, you know, the same way. I'm going through it on a regular basis, and yes, it's scary at times, but it's a blast.

Yeah, it's like the best thrill-seeking ride you're ever going to ride is your own life.

Right, exactly. Now, so when we talk about also confronting, were there programs or processes or certain people that you reached out to help you with that?

Absolutely. Bernadette Boas is definitely, definitely an ace in my corner.

I wasn't looking for a promo. This is your show, but go ahead.

I greatly— I utilize Scott Goodnight and his Mental Maps program. Hugely, hugely powerful and important in my life and structuring my mental map and and where I want to go and his processes and his disciplines and teachings and models. So that is huge. I mean, he's my personal coach. Right.

And let me touch on that for a minute because I had Scott on a couple weeks ago, it's been. So you can go to my YouTube channel, which is Shedding the Bitch, and see the video. I have not, I don't believe it's up on my website just yet, technical issues. But it's more personal than technical. But you can find it on the YouTube channel, and then you should always be able to go back to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch and also check it out. Scott, good night. Great, great interview. Great program, his mental maps. So mental maps, that doesn't mean anything to anybody here, and we don't need to necessarily talk about the actual tool per se, but what was so, you know, what was so important about that process that helped you through your journey?

First thing was getting clear on exactly what I want, and that, that, that, that is an experience in and of itself, just getting clear. I mean, you, you know exactly what you want, and it's, and it's a living, breathing document. And so, you know, you got to, you got to start, and then you just work on it, and you work on it, and you work on it. And it's, and it's just, it's like, I would work on it, and I say that, I mean, it's not Sometimes it would be sitting down, but sometimes it would be just driving in the car and I get this bolt of lightning going, "Oh yeah, that's what I want." And so it would just become more and more refined, right? And so now, and that's how I worked on my mission statement and that's how I defined my goals in each areas of my life. And so that was one thing. Accountability, huge, huge second. Could probably be tied for first. It was the accountability process. Having an accountability partner. Somebody, you know, I mean truly I am my own accountability partner. However, it's the support on the other side and knowing that I've got somebody to bounce something off or a fresh set of eyes to go, "Nancy, you know, you're not, or you may want to look at this." And it's just keeping it real. It's keeping it right out front instead of putting it behind you. And this way you can't look at it, but if it's in front and you've got an accountability partner, yeah, huge.

It is huge. And I want to touch on one other, one thing that she had said about the whole goals and plan. But before I do, if you have any questions, because I see a bunch of you out there, please feel free to call 818-572-2910 and jump in and give us a question or two. If not, you can also chat with us. Let's see, we have someone— Cindy's asking, does Nancy still have struggles with loving herself or has she conquered it?

Great question, Cindy. Thank you. I, of course, I mean, it's, it's, I hesitate to say of course because I—

of course what?

It is an ongoing process. It's an ongoing process. And am I over it? No, I don't think I'm over it because there's still like that little thing that creeps up and goes, you know, like, oh, you could have exercised 10 more minutes today, you know. But it's, but it's being conscious of it, you know. I'm I'm conscious of myself, and I'm conscious of my choices, and, and I've done great work, and I'm really proud of myself. And it feels really good to be able to say that because, you know, years ago, 6 years ago, 7 years ago, I would not be able to say that, right? Or let me say this, I wouldn't be able to say that and be telling you the truth, speaking my truth. You know, it would be that mask like we were talking about, pretending, right?

Just doing it because I'm looking for that that type of information for my listeners. I do want to go back. Thank you, Cindy, appreciate it. And if anybody else has that question, please, uh, chat it in or call it in. We're here to help you kind of relate to, uh, what Nancy's story is. And you've heard enough about me over the, over the weeks and the months, but feel free to jump in and ask me a question as well. I want to touch on the, um, the plan that you touched on before, accountability, because The other thing too is, you know, I'm in my late 40s and I hear people whether they're 25 or 65 that don't know their purpose in life. And even if they don't know their purpose, they haven't acknowledged and really admitted to themselves and been truthful to themselves about what their real dreams, desires, and passions are. They're so afraid of what that— if they actually voice that out there and put it out in the world, what would happen. Because again, change. So in your planning process, did you go through that struggle with really admitting what it was that you really wanted because it might have altered what you had at the time?

My— yes, I mean, I think my thing was is that I felt, you know, when I started hearing about this, what's your plan, what's your plan, what's your purpose on life, like I thought that it had to be this giant grandiose, big, huge, you know, walk up the mountain mountain with the next Ten Commandments or something. I mean, I just thought that it had to be just this huge life mission. And, and when I got real with myself and started asking myself what that is, it was helping people. And how can I best help people? And what are my resources? And how can I do that? And so that in and of itself took a lot of pressure off of me to have like this big grand scheme. And I have— yes, I have things that I would like to to do that are grander, but right now, where I am right now, it's to help people and connect them to their dream home. To provide that solid foundation for their family to love, grow, and thrive. I mean, that's really what it is.

Right.

Because it's the family, and it's the personal connection, and it's that home where at that point you can then go out into the world and do and be able to do whatever you want to do. Yeah. So that's how I feel I'm contributing. Contributing. Yeah. Did that answer your question?

Yeah, yeah, no, no, it did. Um, and you know, because what— speaking of a home, I mean, you know, people will say to me, you know, well, you have a beautiful house, and I'm like, well, that's nice, but it's not about the house, it's about the home. Because from the moment that I saw this, you know, home— yeah, it was my home. So I can definitely— and you live that for yourself, right? You take that internal to your own family. Absolutely. Grow, live, grow, and Absolutely. So that's why it manifests and benefits all of the clients that you work with and the rest of your life around it. Yeah. Is that fair?

Yeah, absolutely. That's cool. I mean, it's— yes.

That's cool. What would you say are some tips that you could provide our listeners in regards to really kind of becoming aware, discovering in my terms, and confronting and then shedding any of those fears that might be, you know, hanging them up or holding them back or blocking them from really pursuing their rich life that they want for themselves?

That is a big question, Bernadette.

Well, we have about 2 minutes that you can answer it in.

That's a big question. I would say create a little sacred space space for yourself. I started with 5 minutes. I would just start with 5 minutes and give that to myself and just sit and be silent and be in a space where I said, okay, you know what, this is my 5 minutes. It was at 5 o'clock in the morning because that's when my kids and my husband were still sleeping. This is my time. So I gave myself that and then it just kind of, it just grew. I start, whatever I start, I start very, very small because I build up the momentum from that point. And I don't chunk off like an hour and a half or 2 hours because that's just overwhelming and it's too big and it's too broad and it's scary.

Listen to that, people, because so many people want to go that way. And you know, I need a half hour, I need an hour.

I want to go that way. I mean, I'm Type A. I want to go that way too. I'm a huge high achiever and so what I did, that was a big thing for me, is And it just grew. It grew from 5 minutes to 10 minutes and it just grew. So the space. The second thing, I would say schedule. Figure out what your schedule is. Write down everything that you do in a day's time and you'll see right in the middle, right there, where you can carve out some time for yourself. And then just start there. But start small. Whatever you do, start small.

And commit.

Yes. Like commit.

And so what I'll— I'll throw a tip in there is start Start small, even if it's 5 minutes, and focus. You know, a lot of people will argue it takes 21 days to change a habit. Some people say, "No, you need 30, 60, 90 days to really get it into your mindset." I would even look at it like Nancy just said, one day at a time, 5 minutes at a time. And that's what I did as well. You know, I don't jump out of bed or go to sleep until I've kind of— reconciled my head and my heart. So start small like she said, and then be accountable to it, and then own it and commit, and commit to you. This is all about you, and that's what, you know, we stress here at Shedding the Bitch, and I know she stretches at jamiesonhomezone.com and her overall real estate business. So check her out because, you know, I would love to hear feedback in regards to what you heard and what you learned today. Because anybody can relate to Nancy's story and the tips that she provides and the honesty. I mean, you know, the honesty that she provides. We're also going to be talking about this more at 1 o'clock on the Shift to Riches programs that I have. You can always go to sheddingthebitch.com and check that out. In the meantime, I'm going to thank Nancy and also come back next Tuesday at noon. I have a special Mother's Day with my sisters and my mom. Check it out.

That's great.

We'll talk to you soon, everybody.

Thank you. Thanks.

Bye.