NEW EPISODE : How To Avoid Burnout + Overwhelm with Emily Cassel

In this episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, I am talking with Emily Castle, Soulful Business Leadership Coach, who is going to share with us how to avoid burnout overwhelm by implementing the Sustainable Business Cycle. You're going to learn the feminine approach to bringing your vision to life and how to create consistent momentum meaningful action. We're going to talk about how to be more productive without working harder, doing more or stressing yourself out. So let's get ready and get on with the show.

Are you ready to create riches in your work and life? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose. And create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So let's welcome your Ball of Fire host, Bernadette Boas.

Good day, good day, good day, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV. Yes, I'm Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, and I am so excited that you're here today because we're going to talk about how to avoid burnout and overwhelm. All right, who doesn't want to avoid burnout and overwhelm? I don't know about you, but I certainly want to. Uh, but before we get there, let me just thank our new and ongoing listeners and viewers, um, whether you're coming to us on any one of your podcast streaming services, uh, such as, uh, BlogTalkRadio, uh, Apple Podcast, um, or any one of them, along with our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. You are liking and posting and sharing and commenting and rating and subscribing and following us, and it's been magnificent, the number of eyes and ears we've been attracting to the program. And it's all because of your input. You're also providing us suggestions on the topics and the experts that we are bringing to you each and every week. So please keep doing that, and please subscribe and follow the show so you get all the updates, whether it is on a podcast streaming service or on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. All right, I also need to thank our ongoing sponsor, NG Tax Solutions. They are a full-service, uh, financial and tax services company that services small to corporate-sized clients in both their personal and their business needs. So please reach out to them if— should you have any needs for yourself or someone you know. You can reach them at ngtaxsolutions.com. We also have a more local sponsor, um, Jay and his team at Up Top Roofing of Atlanta. They provide home services and roofing needs. And if you are in the area of Georgia, then reach out to Jay and his team for any expert, expert, excellent, excellent service at up-toproofingofatl@yahoo.com. All right, let me introduce you to our subject and then to our guest. Again, we're gonna be talking about how to avoid burnout and overwhelm by implementing the Sustainable Business Cycle. So let me tell you a little bit about it. You'll learn about the Sustainable Business Cycle plus energetically feminine cycles of productivity and master how to leverage them in your business and life. Now we're going to talk about the feminine approach to bringing your business vision to life by working smarter, doing less, and allowing it to be easy. We're going to talk about how to create consistent momentum plus meaningful action in your business without feeling overly rigid, how to be more productive without working harder, doing more, or stressing yourself out. And lastly, shifting out of exhausting hustle and into enlivening freedom, flow, and fulfillment. So let me introduce you to our guest. Emily Castle is a soulful business plus leadership coach for women entrepreneurs. She's a podcast host, writer, international retreat leader, and the champion of women who is based in Charlotte— or I'm sorry, Charleston, South Carolina. Emily believes that when women embrace and express their deepest soul calling and become leaders of their life and business, we create a more liberated and limitless future for ourselves, each other, and the world. Emily gathers, activates, and alchemizes women entrepreneurs and their businesses across the globe through her high-level masterminds, retreats, and coaching experiences. She is the creator of the Soulful Business Academy, the Business Alchemy Circle, and the Soulful Leadership Mastermind. Emily is also the host of her own podcast, Like Nobody's Business, where she teaches women to navigate and ultimately master the many challenges and opportunities the entrepreneurial path with greater ease and less burnout. So help me welcome Emily to the program. Hi, Emily!

Hi, thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Oh, you're so welcome. I'm excited that you're here, and you're coming from Charleston, South Carolina.

I am. I didn't realize that you were so close in Atlanta.

I am. As a matter of fact, I was even closer for the month of May. I was down in Bluffton in for the month.

No way! Yeah, so cute. I love that town. We drove through there on our way back from Savannah, my boyfriend and I, 2 years ago or last year, I can't remember. Um, and we were like, what is this amazing little town? It's so cute.

Yeah, it, it was very cute. I mean, Charleston is a gold mine in itself, but yes, Bluffton is a, is a beautiful, beautiful town. I had a wonderful, wonderful month there. It was fabulous. Um, but I wanna, I wanna understand, um, more about you, both personally for our audience and then professionally, as far as what brought you to this stage of your career where you're focused specifically in this space. And I love the whole, um, idea of the soul, uh, soul leadership. What kind of, uh, was your backstory to where it brought you to this?

Yeah. So I, um, I went to an all-women's college, which is a bit non-traditional these days. Um, and I actually started my business, my coaching business, um, when I was 22, and I've been doing it ever since. So this is my 8th year, I believe, in business full-time for myself, which is so exciting. And, um, How I kind of got here is I was always interested and curious and drawn to women's issues. One of the books that fell off the shelf for me in high school, literally fell off the shelf when I walked past it, it was so awesome. It was called The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. I don't know if you've ever read it, but it's—

No.

I highly recommend it. It's fascinating. That concept sort of like spurred this passion within me, um, of, of really like focusing on what's unique about us as women. And of course, at the time, I'm a teenage girl, like, what the heck is happening to my body and my mind? And why am I so emotional and hormonal and what's going on? Um, and, you know, I was also very interested in psychology and how the brain works and how that influences our experience of life and our perspectives and, and the results that we create ultimately, right, in, in our reality.

Sure.

And at the same time, I was also very interested in spirituality, and I would go to these like angel circles with my mom growing up when I was like 10, um, which was a really cool wild experience that I feel like a lot of people aren't exposed to that early on. And so this was just kind of like part of my upbringing, part of my lens, and you know, there's a bajillion things, as for all of us, that have led us to this moment. And so I'm tempted to go into like the whole story and the details, but there's, there's a lot more about it. Um, but when I, when I was in college studying psychology, I found an elective in positive psychology. And up until that point, I had been, you know, taking classes, and I'm like, this isn't really what I thought it would be. You know, like we're talking about early childhood development, which is like interesting, but not necessarily the thing I want to do with my life. And I had also always been interested in leadership and like being involved in all the leadership positions I could get my hands on or foot in the door. And I was always a very high achiever, straight A's, over-involved, like probably overdoing, right? Like type A in high school, very perfectionistic and same in college. And one of the things that just kind of pulled me in was this concept of positive psychology and really looking at the other side of the spectrum of wellbeing when it came to psychological and mental health, looking at like, what do we— not just, okay, what's a pathology and how do we get someone to a point of like neutral, but really like what helps people thrive and flourish in life? And what is it that really takes you meet certain people and you're exposed to all these different people throughout your life and you're like, there's something unique about the people who are succeeding and they also happen to be very fulfilled, these people who are just vibrant and magnetic that you come across and you're like, I'll have what she's having. What is that? What's that special sauce? So through my studies of positive psychology and then And also like dovetailing that with all that I was learning in the business classes I was taking and really exposing myself to a lot of leadership development trainings and going to an all-women's college. It was so amazing. I realize this now even more than I did at the time. At the time, I knew it was really awesome, but now I'm like, oh, you weren't having that experience in college? Weird. We had, I mean, we were so lucky. Congresswomen and business leaders and women doing amazing trailblazing things in the room with us every week. It was awesome. We got to— I got to see so many women speak and talk in such an intimate forum about their unique experiences with womanhood and, you know, their work and their leadership and the unique struggles and challenges and the unique strengths and gifts and all of the things. So that was kind of my priming.

Right. Right.

And then I did a coach certification training because I knew that that's what I wanted to do. My professor was like, if you're not going to do counseling like you had planned because you want to do positive psych focus, then coaching is the way to go. So I said, okay, I don't know what I'm doing. Let me take this leap of faith. And, um, yeah, I got a coach training certification. I did that for a year long. Training and then started my business while I was in the midst of doing that and working full-time. And now, 8 years later, here we are.

Well, I applaud you because— and thankfully you had that backstory experiences, especially with your mother at Angel Circles.

I know, random.

But I applaud you because you get to an age of 40-plus, let alone I just turned 60, And, you know, I don't have any regrets in my, in my life, but I, you know, I will say I wish I had focused on my mindset, on positivity at a young, you know, young age, in college, right out of college. Uh, and so I applaud you, and you must be a great, great not only mentor and coach, but a role model for, for young women and guys, but for young women to really kind of you know, put a focus and spend time on, you know, positive— positivity. So, um, that's awesome. That's— congratulations. Congratulations.

Thank you.

So to get down to the nitty-gritty of what we want to talk about, you use the word sustainable business cycle. Like, what exactly is it? Because we go from being soulful to a business sustainable cycle. How— what does that mean?

Yeah, so to me, when I think about business, my number one priority for myself and my clients always that it's actually sustainable because we live in this culture of like hustle, burnout, you know, like that seems to be the common narrative around what it means to be an entrepreneur, what it means to be a leader, and what it means to run a business, right? Right. And so I think really my mission is about helping people reframe that and find a different way because I believe that when we are doing it in a way that's aligned with what we are actually here to do and the mission that we are here to serve and our unique strengths and gifts and what the world needs and what people are willing and able to pay for, like all of the things come together and it creates this sense of ease and also sustainability. And so, when I think about the sustainable business cycle, what I think about is like this ecosystem within our businesses and within our lives that we have all that we need, right? Like, it's well-resourced, it all functions together in harmony, and there's this sort of like rhythm that we can get into where there— it's, it's cyclical, there are seasons, right? And there's space for everything. And just like, I like to think about this in terms of the seasons. And for a lot of women, what can be helpful and maybe feel closer to home is actually this the cycles that are happening within our own bodies, right? Like our menstrual cycles, and knowing that that's a really familiar thing that's influencing the way that our, our body chemistry and our brain chemistry is functioning at any given moment out of a month. And so when we think about that in a traditional cycle, right, we think about like fall, winter, spring, summer. We think about, you know, menstrual phase, follicular phase, ovulation, um, and luteal phase. And all of these types of cycles have 4 phases, right? And there's a space for everything, and there's a functionality to each phase. And I think sometimes we get stuck in this idea in business especially, and, and in our lives when it comes to creating success or achieving anything, that it's supposed to be a very linear process and that, that progress is like, okay, right, right, we're just gonna go from point A to point B. And really what happens is that it's cycle of constant evolution and change and transformation. And every time that happens, there's more of like— what it actually feels like for me is this sort of like expansion and contraction and expansion and contraction. And within that expansion, there are, I think, about 2 phases. And then within the contraction, there are 2 phases. So I'll tell you what they are. Um, the first one is sort of this um, this— let's see, where do we want to begin? Spring. Let's start with spring. So in our businesses, right, there's this time where we're like, oh, I have a new idea, or there's something, there's something new that wants to be born. There's this like light bulb moment, or there's something that's like we feel to initiate it, right? And that's one part of the cycle. And then we go into the summer phase where we're actually like implementing and doing all the things. So we have the vision that comes through, the idea, and it's like super exciting and there's all this energy and there's all this potential. And then the summer is when we're like, okay, let me like do all the things.

Take action.

Take action. And this is where we think we should be all the time, right? We think we should just be in like idea, action, idea, action, idea, implementation, right? But really, that's how— that's like a recipe for complete burnout and overwhelm, right? Because there's never any time to process or reflect or take stock or see what's working and see what's not. When we don't do the next two phases is when we start to get into trouble, when we start to burn out, we start to overwhelm, because there's no, um, discernment around what actually is moving the needle, what actually is creating the results, what is the ROI, and are these things actually worth my time, energy, money investment, or— and what's really working, right? And I see so many of us we get caught on this hamster wheel where we don't take the space to do this because it's so uncomfortable. Because culturally and then personally, the conditioning is, I should be doing more, I'm not doing enough, my— I'm like idle, I'm late, I'm lazy, I'm not doing enough. And so these— we have so much resistance around the next two phases in this.

But before you get there, but what it— so I love the fact that yes, uh, you know, culturally, you know, there's these patterns. But you also said that, that they're uncomfortable. So what is it that your clients or the people that you come into contact with, what is it that they're finding very uncomfortable about kind of, you know, moving beyond just those initial two phases?

Well, I think that there's a lot that comes up when we actually give ourselves space to like rest and stop and pause, right? I think for a lot of us, that, that doing and that keeping busy and that almost like on the extreme side of things, that workaholism, right? It really numbs a lot and quiets a lot. We don't have space to think about all the other things. And so in a way, there's sort of this like secondary gain of staying so busy and burnt out and overwhelmed that we never have to look at anything else. We never actually have to get real with ourselves. About what's working and what's not and what feels good and what doesn't. And it just, you know, the discomfort of having to actually reflect and, and look within and hold ourselves accountable or pivot something that might be really uncomfortable, to say no to something that felt like a yes.

True to yourself, right? Or, you know, or to be true to yourself, it can often be very uncomfortable.

Yeah, it's wild, right? Like, we, we do so many things to avoid actually listening in, actually hearing ourselves, actually, um, doing what's necessary to stay in alignment and stay on our path and not fall into someone else's, or to get into comparison mode or feel like we have to keep up with someone else or the industry or whatever, right? And so there is so much resistance, and we could talk about that forever, you know.

And we— and I'm gonna come back to that, but I— and I will come back to that. Um, but at the same time, so what are those two other phases that they need to be aware of and cognizant of, regardless of the fact that they all work into them because they're too uncomfortable? But what are they that they need to be aware of?

So The fall phase of our, of our business cycle here is really about looking at, um, like the systems and how do we create something that is like we're preparing for winter, right? So when we think about this in like an, an agricultural sense, we're looking at, okay, here's the harvest, now how do we want to like reinvest the harvest basically, right? How do we want to make best use of what we've created? What's the best path forward? How do we preserve and conserve things? And where are we going to, like, save seeds? And where are we gonna, you know, preserve, you know, like, canned produce so that we have it when we need it?

Yeah.

And at the same time, there's this, like, preparation that's starting to happen for the next spring.

Already.

Okay.

Yeah, right. And so in this fall phase, a lot of times what I see for my own business and for my clients is that what we actually need to do is kind of start to look at like what loose ends need to be tied up here. Let's reflect on like, how did that go? What, what worked well? What didn't? What would I change next time? Maybe if we're thinking about this like post-launch of something, it's What went well? What would I do differently next time? Actually, like, taking the space to reflect.

So it's like an assessment. So yes, you know, you're coming up with the ideas in the first phase, you're moving into action or implementing in the second, and then you're like, okay, now sit down and assess everything that you just, you know, accomplished or didn't, right?

Yes, yes. So like, what worked, what didn't? And not only from like a metrics standpoint or a stats and a numbers standpoint, but also like, did I enjoy that, right? Did that work with my life? Did I feel good in the process? Did I like, like the way that this or that happened? Was there something that would have been helpful to have as a support system in my back pocket? How could we streamline this or automate it next time? What could I delegate next time? What would have been, you know, like all of those questions, really getting clear with ourselves about like, where are we now after doing all this stuff?

I wish I knew you back in 2008 because I went and started, you know, envisioning and then acting on something and found myself miserable for about a year and a half in doing it because I never, to your point, I never stopped. And took the time to assess beyond the business metrics, as you're saying.

Right.

And really about how I was feeling about all of it. Because had I, I would have saved myself a year and a half of misery.

Right. And this is how we actually create accelerated results and iterate quickly is by taking the space to do this work, which is uncomfortable and challenging maybe, but so necessary because what you were just saying, right? That would have given you the space to like let yourself off the hook and choose something different or tweak something major that then is like, oh well, this feels great now, you know, this would work better if I had it this way versus the way that it's been going. And I think that's how we— this sort of like fall phase of taking stock and looking at and just like assessment is how we stay in alignment really with what is, what is good for us, what is true for us, right? And then we move into the winter phase, which everyone loves. It's our favorite season. Not at all. That's our least favorite thing in the world because it's the most uncomfortable. This— the, the quote that comes to mind when I think about this, I think, is a Rumi quote, and it's like um, the roots are riotous, I think is what he says. And basically that means that all the change, all the transformation, all the action is happening below the surface. So it's like in the subconscious mind, in behind the scenes in the business, um, you know, thinking about like reassembling things in our creative process. Maybe that this rest period and, and all of that also gives us this like new perspective or space for new ideas to come in and actually take root. Whereas if we don't have this phase and we don't give ourselves this space that's necessary, this sort of like fertile void, this fallow space, we can't regenerate and there's no space for anything new to actually come in because if we were just in spring, summer, spring, summer, right, we would have a really full basket all the time, right? And we need this period of winter to like empty out, right? It's almost like I think about it, the metaphor that's coming to mind right now is like there's this thing that my friend and I were talking about the other day where when you have a really full fridge it kind of feels like a little bit stressful. And like, as you start clear— making food and clearing out the fridge and like feeding people, it starts to feel really satisfying because you're like, oh, it's being used, great, nothing's going bad. And then by the time you get to the end of the fridge, you're like, oh, okay, all we have left is like condiments and a zucchini. Now it's time to shop. Versus like what some of us might do is just like fill, fill, fill, fill, fill every day of the week, like bringing new things in. And then we're confused about like, when does this need to be used by? This has gone bad, but now I needed that for this ingredient because I thought it was here and this recipe isn't going to work because, you know, then we get overwhelmed.

Yes.

Right. So it's kind of a similar thing to me.

Absolutely. Well, and I'm trying to even like correlate it. It sounds as if it's almost like you know, the mama bear in the, uh, you know, in the springtime, you know, and she's having babies and cubs and all that kind of good stuff. And so she's going out into the world and introducing them to the world. And then in the, in the second season, you know, she's kind of starting to kind of let the babies run and, and create a life of their own. But then she has to get them prepared and get themselves and prepare herself for going into hibernation in the winter. So in the, in the fall, you You know, it's kind of, let's build up fat and let's eat as much as we can and store, you know, as much as we can within ourselves so then we can sleep and rest in, in the wintertime.

Yes, exactly. And you'll see, you'll see all of this like reflected everywhere now that you've heard it, right? Like you're gonna see it everywhere.

Yeah.

But I think the cool thing about this is these cycles within our business can happen really quickly, right? Like they don't have to take an actual, you know, season, 3 months or whatever, right? It's like it could happen in 2 days, right? But the important part is we need all of it to have a sustainable business because otherwise we're missing key components of like our creative process and we're not tending to the necessary pieces of our leadership and our business because we're missing, we're missing these opportunities to evolve quickly. And I think that's the fun part is like when you know and you're aware of these phases of the cycle, then you can identify like where you are and how you can best show up to meet that present moment and navigate it and move through it successfully and with less friction and more ease because you're not going to get stuck in it Because often what we do is when we get to the fall phase, we're like, oh no, something's wrong. Go back into spring.

Yeah.

Right. Or we're in winter and we're like, this is wrong. It's wrong to be here.

Right. Right. Right. So if I'm trapped on this wheel, right, going between visionary or creativity, which people love being in that phase. Don't you find that?

I love that.

It's fun.

Especially those creative types, you know, not the analytical ones, but the creative ones. Um, so if they're trapped in this vision and taking action or implementation, the first two phases, how do they get out of that hustle? How do they get out of that, like, constant— like, what are some actual kind of steps or, you know, processes you use from a coaching perspective to kind of help them through that?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I think first, I mean, there are so many things that I would recommend depending on the specific person and their phase of business and if they have a team or if they're alone. And, you know, there's so much nuance here, so I'll try to give like the high level. Oh yeah, just know if you're listening, there's, there's so much, there's so much. Um, I would say One, you have to be aware of these phases or else you're going to blow right past the ones that you feel aren't necessary because your conditioning tells you go, go, go, more, more, more, more is better, fill it up, all the things, right? And the second thing is we've got to get on— we've got to get comfortable being uncomfortable in a way that's productive, right? We have to be— we have to expand our capacity to hold more discomfort around the things we know are actually going to help us in the long run. So it's sort of this like short-term versus long-term comfort, discomfort. Um, and I think in order to do that, we need these really strong like practices and pillars in our day and in our weeks as business owners to like check in with where we are, what season, what phase we're in, and what we actually need versus just going on the autopilot mode of like doing more, more, more, ideating, creating, right?

Right, right.

And then I think from that like micro scale, it's about building that into your year. So knowing, oh, okay, I have a launch for this thing coming in June, right? And then so after that, I'm going to build in time for me to like assess. I'm going to put a, like, a calendar time block to assess and review how things went, or I'm going to give myself a day to do that with my team. We're going to look at the metrics. They know to bring those to me so we can like all, from all the angles, tackle like what worked, what didn't. Now we need a day to implement those changes so that we're set up to win for next time. And then looking at how am I going to rest and rejuvenate and replenish, and how can I not set it up so that my year is constant launch after launch after launch, but that there is space for me to go on vacation with my family or to have like a CEO weekend for myself, or to just have time where I can be with nothing on my calendar and just be in that sort of visionary mode again, or like work my way into it, um, or read books or listen to podcasts or just do things that feed that, that create that like fertile ground for inspiration.

And I love the words that you use around enlivened flow. I just love that. I mean, it just kind of just makes my heart go—

me too.

And it helps you take a deep breath to realize that yes, you can work toward an enlivened flow. So is that what enlivened flow is to you, is this place of fluidity almost?

Yes, you got it. Yeah, so this place where things are operating in harmony with one another, everything's kind of like symbiotic, it's flowing, it's moving, you're moving with it, and you're not paddling against the current, but you're in that state of like, I love what I'm doing every day, and feels regenerative to work and to create, whereas a lot of times it can feel very depleting for us when, when we're out of alignment, or when we haven't taken this space, or when we're like just hustling, or when we're just pushing through because we feel like we have to, versus giving ourselves and really like attuning to our own needs and what our business needs and what our leadership needs are. Um, and all of those pieces and aspects of ourselves, like, we really need these spaces, these practices, these pillars, this time built in so that we can maintain this state of enlivened flow, so that it can feel good, because it should feel good, you know what I mean? Like, nobody started a business to be miserable, I don't think, right? You know, there are plenty of ways to do that that also don't have the stress that comes along with entrepreneurship.

Right.

So I think, you know, I'm really of the belief that when we are in our zone and in our lane and like in alignment, that we, that it should feel easeful. It's not always easy because there are challenges that come along with that. There's always a growth edge to be working. We're gonna be uncomfortable. That's a given. There's gonna be change. There's gonna be a lot of unknown and uncertainty at any moment, 'cause that's life. And that's also business, right?

Right, right.

It can feel enlivening. It should feel fun or else why are we doing it? And I think so many times our process is so depleting. And so that's really what I support women entrepreneurs in dialing in and honing for themselves is how do we create a business that's your business, which means it's a unique blueprint for you.

Right.

That actually feels that way for you because it's checking the boxes of your values. You're making a contribution every day. It feels meaningful. It feels impactful. You're getting money back, so you feel it's profitable and you feel taken care of versus like you're just giving, giving, giving and spilling out all over with no boundaries. Like, where's the return?

And don't you find— and don't you find that by taking you know, some time back in doing this work, um, it actually allows you to be, you know, to attract more abundance and to, you know, you know, attract what it is that you want versus what most entrepreneurs often do desperately is they actually repel, you know, the work and therefore the income coming to them because they're just on that constant that constant wheel, right? And, you know, and just going after anything and throwing anything to the wall and seeing if it sticks, but not ever really intentionally, purposefully in the enlivened flow, as Emily says, um, you know. And therefore it, you know, they're always there unless they just stop, give themselves some room and breath, like you're saying, to do this work.

Mhm. Absolutely. Right. Because it is so— it's a magnetic state. Like, people want to be around that energy. They want to interact with that energy when it is like lit up and inspiring and magnetic. Right.

It's—

that's the stuff we all want to be. That's what sells.

Yeah.

Like, actually, like, it's not really about the product or about the service or about the thing. Like, there are pieces of that that are important, of course, but at the end of the day, the sale comes from like the connection human to human. And if you're like checked out because your mind's in a million places and you don't know what you're working toward and you feel frazzled and unfocused and unclear about where you're actually going and who would be the right fit to go there with you, you know, it was— nobody can follow that. So that's also part of like great self-leadership, and that spills over into your business leadership, is, you know, knowing what you need and being willing to meet that need, even and especially if it's uncomfortable for you. Right, right.

So what do you mean when you say also— excuse me, I've had something in my throat like all day— but, um, but what do you mean too in regards to having a feminine approach bringing your business to life? What— I mean, a feminine approach, what, what is that all about?

Yeah, so, so in most, let's say, like, there's yin and yang energies, there's feminine and masculine energies, which are kind of the same thing, interchangeable. Um, and so in order to really create like balance and wholeness, we need both polarities, right? We need both the feminine and the masculine. And I think about this— it's not so much about gender, and it's not about like sexuality, and it's not about any of that. It's just to say yin and yang. So use that if that's better, right? Um, we can also think of it as like sun and moon, right? There are two opposite equals that with one without the other doesn't work. So when we think about this oftentimes, like we were talking about, those two phases that people tend to get stuck in, right? Those are the, the yang, the masculine, the like active ones. And so when we think about feminine energy, it's a much more receptive energy, like yin, um, like the moon, right? So it's, it's the, um, it's a different way of showing up and interacting. It's a different energy that we bring to something. And so I like to think of it like the masculine energy, or the yang, or the sun, is sort of like a riverbank, the structure that holds something.

Okay.

And then the feminine is like the, the river that's flowing and always changing and always evolving. And so it's It's sort of this balance of opposites. And oftentimes, especially for us as women, because our society is based in sort of like a patriarchal system, right? We have internalized this way of being that is, that is tending toward the more masculine because that's what it takes to be successful in school and in business and in life and to get ahead and to compete and all the things. Right?

Yeah, sure.

And, and that's useful, and it's great until it's not, because we've only— you know, it's like, I like to think of it like we're going to the gym and we're skipping leg day, and so we have this imbalance in our body, right? It's like that, right? We only work out one side and not the other. And so in order to create harmony, in order to create that sense of flow, we really need both to operate together. And for a lot of women, we've disowned a lot of those parts of ourselves in order to feel powerful and be taken seriously and to be in the world and be successful and make money and all of the things. We've disowned a lot of the qualities that are feminine, at least when it comes to like business or work or sort of this domain that we're speaking to.

Yep. Okay.

And so really the goal is, can we integrate both so that we have a more holistic approach? And so when I speak about like a feminine energy or a feminine way of bringing this about, it's really about— it's kind of a misnomer because really it's about an integrated way, which requires bringing the feminine energy back on board.

And what— so what will— what does that literally look like? I mean, is it nurturing? Is it compassion? Is it grace? You know, what does that look like combined then on top of or in complement to the masculine energy?

It looks like a lot of things, but I'll tell you a few that I think are key. One is like a lot more self-compassion because a lot of times we can get into this very rigid, like, self-judging, perfectionistic inner dialogue, right? Um, it looks like knowing and understanding that everything is temporary and that nothing is actually very fixed, whereas in a masculine paradigm, we, we often get very rigid into like, well, this is the way it is and it's black and white.

Right.

And so bringing on the feminine looks like really exploring and being curious about what the gray area is between this and that. Yeah, whatever this and that might be. Um, and it also looks like really leading from a place of self-trust and intuition and our body's wisdom, because often we think we're only using like the neck up when we're in the masculine paradigm, right? Like, we're like, okay, you're tired, push through, no one cares. Oh, you are sick? Well, you better be working from bed, or, you know, whatever. So really actually giving ourselves and our bodies the care and attention that they need and taking care of ourselves like we would a loved one, not like, you know, treating ourselves like something to be beat into submission, or, you know, all the things. I hope that we've all learned a little bit more about this part of things over the last few years, right? And it looks like really leaning into rest and rejuvenation and remembering that that is a part of the cycle and, and operating from a more cyclical mindset and a holistic mindset than a linear, like, straightforward, this is how it has to be and this is And bringing in the heart and the soul behind the, like, structures and systems and all the things we need to make things happen that actually makes it worthwhile to pursue the goal or the, the vision or, you know, whatever it is that we're, we're setting out to create or to achieve.

I love that. That's where Soulful Business comes in, right?

Exactly right, because it's both. It gets to be both. And I think—

so what could be— what could— what's like one powerful shift someone can make to kind of move the needle and to kind of influence a change into being, you know, that more feminine approach or into that phase of self-care?

One is such a hard thing for me to come up with because my brain is like Well, here are 5 options, so I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try to give you one. Um, honestly, I think it's just becoming aware of like, which phase are you in right now? And which phase are you neglecting, right? Like, which phase are you— like, maybe you're in spring or summer, but it's like, is that where you actually need to be, right? And so I think just making space, like we were talking about earlier, right, of like really making sure that as you're creating anything, that there is space for all of those different phases to unfold. And it doesn't mean, again, that they each have to take a certain amount of time. It's just that they're present and that there's space for each. So I think it's in your planning process— maybe this is the action— it's like in your planning process for whatever it is that you're rolling out next, make sure that there is space for each one of those phases that we talked about and that you give yourself the space after to rest and rejuvenate.

Well, that's a great structure to, to start forming your plan, is, you know, you know, on an Excel spreadsheet, 4 phases, you know, and what has to happen in each one of those. I think that's brilliant.

It's—

but it sounds so simple, everyone. And it's not as simple as, as it sounds. So that's why you need to check out, um, Emily Castle at emilycastle.com. So I really want— I'm interested, and I'm sure our viewers and listeners will too, in regards to your, what you call the business evolution. Um, and so could you share with us a little bit more about that? And of course they can go to emilycastle.com to learn more, but could you share what what that is all about that you have happening.

Yeah, absolutely. This is a newer offer that I'm super excited about. It's a 90-day intensive where we get to work together one-on-one. I get to do a full audit and assessment of everything that's happening in your business, like past, present, future, and what's working and what's not, and what you love and what you don't, and what people are saying and what they're actually coming to you for, and what's getting a great response when you share it and what isn't, and all the things, and where your website needs some updates, and just like a holistic total view of everything. Um, so I get to do that, and then we meet for 45 minutes for our kickoff to really set the vision of where you want to go and what you want to do. And then we have 3 90-minute intensive deep dives together where we get so much done and we cover so much ground. And every time you leave a session, you've got like marching orders. You've got action steps that are super clearly defined and laid out for you to implement and get into that phase around. And then at the end of that time, we have a 45-minute wrap-up session where we get to come together, tie up loose ends, figure out what you need next, if anything, um, and where to go from, from there. So this is great for you if you're like at this inflection point in your business, or you're feeling like there's a reinvention or a branding happening, or there's some kind of new vision that's wanting to come through you, um, in, in your business. And of course, this is for women entrepreneurs, and we, we tackle so many different things. It's really like a strategic partnership, um, beyond just coaching. And also, we weave in like leadership coaching principles and really look at like, where are you getting in your own way around your business being all that it can be? And I love this because we get to go like deep and hard for 90 days and it's like we cover so much ground and we get so much done and it's like a full spectrum shift. So that's awesome for both you and your business, right? Because it's both.

And every one of you deserve that. Every one of you deserve to have somebody like Emily in your corner to help you really, you know, kind of make your goal and your passion of why you started your business a reality and, and bring it to fruition and not struggle. Um, and make sure you're looking at those 4 phases and, you know, and you're taking care of yourself. Emily, thank you so much. I am so excited. So much.

Me too. Thank you so much for having me. This was such a fun conversation.

Oh, you're so welcome. I, I mean, I learned tremendous. I learned from—

great.

I'm gonna be thinking things of, uh, you know, winter, spring, summer, and fall now. You are a smart and easy way of looking at a business or even looking at someone's life.

Quite anything, really. It's reflected everywhere. You're going to see it in all the things.

Awesome. Well, everyone, please check her out. Check out her business evolution at emilycastle.com. Follow her on Instagram at Emily Castle Official. And of course, just go right to emilycastle.com and look around and reach out to her and let her come up with a plan and how she can help you and support you. Emily, thank you so much. I so appreciate it.

Thank you.

Have a beautiful day.

You too.

Thanks. And for everyone else, thank you so much for being part of this week's Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV episode, and I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Take care, everybody.

Thank you for taking part in Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your biggest takeaway was. Go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook or YouTube and leave a comment. You can also subscribe to the show on Apple Podcast and YouTube so you don't miss a single episode of the show. And with your input, we can help other powerhouse women just like you find the show and decide if it's right for them. Learn more about Bernadette at balloffirecoaching.com.