New Year, New You, New Results with Guest, Jan Moore

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you? And ooh, we made it through the holidays.

Yes, we did.

And now we're getting ready for the New Year celebration, but that should be— make all of us very excited. And today's conversation is going to even pump you up even more as we really get your head on straight and, um, really get you kind of focused and energized all around. Not necessarily New Year's resolutions, and we'll talk about that, but really your goals. All right, so before we get to all of that though, I do hope you all had a fun, safe, and glorious holiday. And that you're done all your shopping, or at least all your returns now. I guess it was a record-breaking year, like a trillion dollars in sales, but at the same time, about 10 to 20% of that goes back in returns. So that's why I don't shop. That's why I just give my love. That's what I give to the world. But I do hope it was beautiful. It was for me, although I wasn't with my family up in Philadelphia. So a shout out to the Boas gang. Love you. Miss you.. And, uh, but thank you for FaceTiming me and getting a chance to, uh, pass me around to the whole gang. And, uh, you definitely, uh, were in my prayers and in my thoughts. I had a house full of dogs. I am dog sitting and I have, um, 4 absolutely others. Charlie's within that 4, but they are just so much fun and they all get along, thank gosh. And so I had some friends over, we did the whole dinner thing, and it's just been a really nice, restful, and yet busy and productive holiday season. And I hope it is for you as well. We have a lot going on here in the Shedding the Bitch community. 2017 is going to rock. 2016 in the past has been good too, but we are lining up some awesome guests, some awesome new programs. You guys have been asking me for my Shift to Riches formula in some way, shape, or form, so I'm working on a a number of things for you in regards to that. We certainly— we've been introducing our new private Facebook group out on Facebook. It's Shift to Riches. So if you go to facebook.com/groups/ShiftToRiches, you can be part of this community that's going to get more and more exclusive as we move forward, meaning It will come down to those who really want to share and collaborate and work together to achieve whatever goals and dreams you have for the new year, for the new 5— next 5 years. It doesn't matter. We're really going to create this environment so you have a safe, productive, and collaborative space to come together and ask the questions you have, deal with the struggles you're having, announce your victories, whatever the case might be. So Shift to Riches, get in there now. And then as we move forward, like I said, it'll become more and more exclusive, meaning those that are part of the programs that we're gonna start rolling out, those that are actively engaging and collaborating with us, those will be the ones that will become part of the community. Let's see what else is going on. We are gearing up for the new year. So as we go through this conversation, think about, what it is that you will be working on, whether it's at home or at work or even in your own business. All right, so let's— let me see, I'm trying to think. Oh, next week, next week, next week, next week is Ask Bernadette. So this is your dedicated hour on Shedding the Bitch Radio where I am taking your questions, stories, or challenges, whether it has to do with your career, your business, or life, and I am digging deep and providing you some tips, advice, and sometimes tough love in order to help you move through the, that, uh, question, that challenge, that experience, experience that you're having. So you can post them all month long on Facebook or Twitter, and I am going to be, and I have always responded to them when I see them. At the same time, I then bring them here so we can dive into them a little bit deeper, and you actually have an opportunity to call in to the program live if you want to actually expand on whatever it is that you are posting on Facebook or Twitter. So go to our Shedding the Bitch Facebook or Twitter page and you can put that down, and Deborah of Parker House Virtual Services, she'll be out there to make sure that I am able to respond to them in a timely basis and also bring them right here into the program for you. All right, let's see what else. I just want to— before I introduce the topic, I think that is all for now. So our topic for today, and keep in mind I'll give you your topic, what you're going to learn, and then your rich question so you can kind of get your head around and prepare yourself for being actively engaged in the conversation we're going to have. Bernadette Boas: So it's all about the new year. It's all about the new you. It's all about new results. Maybe you're tired of doing the same old, same old, and getting the same old, same old result, if any. So our guest has shared with me that at the start of every new year, obviously it is a tradition to set New Year's resolutions, but unfortunately 80% of people don't stick to those New Year's resolutions. Beyond the first week, beyond the first week. I have to admit, I've kind of given up on some of mine, and we will talk about that with our guests as to why that is. So she found a quote around the fact that the average American makes the same resolution 10 years in a row without success, and within 4 months, 25% of resolutions are completely abandoned. So, from One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Casey Way by Robert Muir, statistics show that you are for— far more likely to succeed if you set goals and write them down. We talk a lot about that here on the program. And even then, there's a good chance you won't succeed unless you have actually created, established, defined the right goals and approach them in a way that will make it a downstream flow instead of an uphill struggle. So listen for, and you're gonna learn how to set the right goals that you'll stick with, how to create a plan that will help you achieve your goals, and how to spot and clear the blocks, or what we call bitches here in this world, that get in the way of your success. All right? So the rich question I want you to be thinking about as we then go to break and come back to introduce our guest The one question I— it's really simple. What is that one goal? Not a resolution. What is that one goal you have for yourself? Whether it's for this new year or it's even for a month or a week, but it's something that you've always wanted to be pursuing and you just haven't put the focus or the energy behind it. And then our guest is going to make sure that you have the tools and tips to succeed in accomplishing them. Okay. So rich tags that you could be using today to collaborate with us, whether that's on Twitter or Facebook, is #NewYear will be a hashtag, #2017, you can use #goals. These are all really good effective streams of conversation. And then of course #ShedTheBitch, hashtag #ShedTheBitch. All right? So when we come back, we are going to dive into this new year, new you, and new results. With our guest and will be addressing any conversations or questions that you would be having. So feel free, if you are online and listening to us live, excuse me, feel free to call 1-818-572-2910. And even if you're on blogtalkradio.com, you can find the radio program at Shedding the Bitch Radio and chat with us live. And I'm online watching the chat room. All right, we have you covered, so we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@parkerhouseservices.com. Deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

All right everyone, are you ready for a new you, new results, and the new year? Because our guest, Dan Moore, is a spiritual empowerment and intuitive success coach known as the people seer and blueprint changer. Who will help you and helps others with heart-centered changes.

And they—

she does it with changemakers, entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals to become unstoppable and achieve the success they aspire in their life and business. She helps her clients reach their highest potential and fulfill their purpose by clearing the limiting beliefs that sabotage their success and by helping them appreciate who they truly are and what they are here to do. For over 20 years, Dan worked in corporate IT and consulting, leading high-performance teams and delivering multi-million pound projects, so multi-million dollar projects, before she left to start her own business in 2004 as an internet and business consultant. It was in 2009 that she realized her true calling was as a coach and mentor., and since then she has been sharing her extensive experience in life and business to help her clients step into their power and achieve their dreams. Jan provides creative solutions and intuitive guidance sprinkled with spiritual and metaphysical principles to take her clients to a new level of success they've been only dreaming of, but perhaps didn't truly believe was possible. She is also the creator of the Empower Your Life Achieve Your Dreams program and author of Empowered Manifestation, and a free copy of her Dream Achiever Success Kit is available at asmilingworld.org, which I'll mention a few times throughout the program. So welcome, Jan. How are you?

Well, thank you, Bernadette. I'm, I'm really well, thankfully. I did have a bit of a hiccup in my health leading up to Christmas, which is most unusual for me, a bit of sinusitis. But I managed to manifest a cure within a couple of days, so I'm feeling really good, thank you. Oh, cold and snowy Colorado.

Yes, exactly. Yes, and especially you guys have been— well, the whole Midwest has been getting slammed this last 3 or 4 days, haven't you?

Yes, absolutely. But it's very pretty.

Right, right. Well, and it's so appropriate for the time of year, and, and it's like 70 degrees here in Atlanta, so we're not, we're not necessarily in the Christmas, uh, setting, but yet at the same time, uh, it is a beautiful holiday season. So, uh, won't complain, that's for sure. Well, I appreciate you being on the program because this is such a relevant topic, uh, for our listeners and for our community And it's perfect timing being that we're kind of coming out of the flurry of the holiday season, the shopping, the mayhem, the chaos, and now we have an opportunity to kind of take a deep breath and really not only prepare for the celebrations this weekend, but prepare for what it is we want to accomplish in 2016— oh, I'm sorry, 2017. But before we get there, the question that I have for you is, and I ask all of my guests is how did you reach this point? How did you, where was your journey? I know it's through corporate and whatnot, but where you found your calling to be a coach and a mentor to so many individuals out there.

Yeah, it was really, as I said in the, as you said in the intro, in 2009, and I'd had quite an experience since the early 2000s in really transitioning out of that very dominant left-brain world of T and logic and everything else. And through my own spiritual exploration, I came to realize that actually we do have a purpose. And it was something that hadn't really occurred to me before. Yes, we like to think about, you know, what's the career that we want to do, but very often we do it in the context of other people's expectations. Expectations and in, in the programming of doing something that's responsible, that is going to create the right income levels. And it's very much done from the head rather than from the heart. And I was exploring manifestation, which I discovered like many people through the movie The Secret, during a very stressful and really quite devastating period in my life. And I came to the conclusion that I really needed to get in touch with what I was here to do. I'd come out of corporate IT after 20-something years, and I was actually running a major supply chain program at the time, and started my own business and was really struggling to make it successful because of the environment I was in. I was in a very negative environment in my marriage. And I came to this conclusion that this just wasn't working. And what I did was I actually did a review of all the things I'd done in my life up to that point. And this is something I, I take my clients through as well. And what I realized was that my career in IT had been very much focused on business but also on primarily supporting my team members in achieving the ambitions that they wanted and also supporting them through the delivery of these major projects. And I got really fantastic feedback from people, and some of whom had actually worked for other managers who had made it very much a blame culture, had not supported their people. And one project manager that came to work for me in particular, he had been blamed for the lack of success of a project and kind of blacklisted in terms of any future promotion. And he ran a project for me which was actually putting in a temporary warehouse facility in this retail organisation and did a brilliant job because he was supported throughout the process. And it was really after looking back on this and seeing the things that I really, really enjoyed doing that I realised that this was where I wanted to focus my attention. And with having the, you know, the business experience, the corporate experience, and a lot of quite challenging life experiences myself, it put me in a really good position to be able to help people through their own challenges, very much from a place of empathy and experience rather than kind of textbook coaching. Sure. So, that was when I really shifted my attention. I've always been very interested in psychology, and that plays quite a large part as well in the work that I do with my clients.

Right.

And where did you— where, when did you discover your intuitive side of, of your abilities to where that can lend itself into the coaching that you do as well?

I think it was a progressive thing, really. You know, there are some people that seem to have this natural, highly intuitive capability from, you know, an early age, I was very much into this, as I said, the left brain side of things, very logical, right? So I didn't really trust the intuitive or didn't even recognize its existence at that point. Um, I would think that the ideas and the thoughts that came to me were just my imagination. I'm sure a lot of people the same way if they'd been in that very left-brain, logical environment, as it were. And I had a major shift in my life at the point that I decided to leave the marriage that had caused me so many issues, where it was almost like I was guided to put logic aside and just go with the flow and intuitively follow what it was I needed to do. And it was a real aha moment for me in recognizing that and not talking myself out of what I was being led to do. And right, the more I was working with people, the more that I opened up to the intuition and recognized the insights that I was getting as I was talking to people about their experiences. And it's actually my clients that have named me the People Seer because I have an ability to hone in on what their specific issues are and therefore help them to resolve it at the core level rather than trying— just doing it at a symptomatic level, if that makes sense.

Yeah, absolutely. I know, absolutely. I totally— I could totally get it and relate to it. And what's even more interesting is I was actually kind of, I had a lot of emotions coming up when you were describing your past technology, supply chain, retail, because that's exactly what my background is. I'm like, oh my God, she sounds just like me. Well, so, all right, so you go through this journey of your own. You're realizing that the coaching and mentoring is so much more rich for you, and rich being intangibles. It was, you know, that you were just meant to be doing that work. And that obviously does kind of lend itself to helping people with their goals and their objectives. Sounds very business, doesn't it? And, but yet they also have this idea of these New Year resolutions as if it's an obligation or, you know, a requirement to set them. And like you said, so many give up on them so easily and so quickly. So what's your philosophy, not only of why they give up on their resolutions, but what's your philosophy of resolutions versus goals?

Well, I think the thing with resolutions is they tend to be quite vague. You know, people say, "Oh, I want to lose weight," or, "I want to get fit," or, "I want a new job or a new relationship." and they leave it at that very high level. I mean, that's the first thing. A goal is very different. I mean, I'm sure from your corporate life you're familiar with SMART goals, which is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. It's an acronym.

It's an acronym.

It is.

Yes.

Right.

Right. Correct. And this has been proven in project management for years. And of course, with a background in project management, I've been believe in bringing those skills into working with people to make sure that they're clear on the goals and that they, they know exactly what they're going for. And this, this is important on two levels: on a practical level and also on a metaphysical level. Because, you know, I've been studying manifestation since probably 2000 7, 6, 7. And one of the things about the manifestation energy into specifically what it is that you want to create— and when it's too vague, you know, it's the difference between, um, a laser beam which is absolutely focused and so powerful, and kind of, you know, a light that spreads over a large area. There isn't the same power behind it, and there isn't the same clarity And with clarity comes the realization of what steps you need to take to achieve those goals. You know, the other thing is that a lot of people set resolutions because they think they should do them, but where they don't really have a strong commitment, and this is where people give up so easily. Because there isn't that commitment and drive to achieve them. Right.

Before we move to commitment though, could you walk us through, if you would, in case people are out there and they're saying, okay, so I heard the SMART acronym of being specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound, but could you kind of give an example of what you mean by when you say like when people want to lose weight or they want to make a lot of money, they're not really clear So, say I say, okay, for 2017 I want to make a lot of money or I want to lose 10 pounds. Can you take one of those examples and turn them into more of what you mean as a very specific measurable goal just so we can paint the picture for everyone before we move to the commitment discussion?

Sure. Yeah. So, let's use the weight loss example because I know that's definitely a common one after the Christmas steasting. So, okay, so the specific thing is that you want to say exactly what it is you want to achieve. So saying that I want to achieve my ideal weight of 130 pounds, for example. Okay. So the measurable, that in effect gives you the measurable part that says, okay, I'll know I've achieved that goal when I've hit that 130 pounds.

Level.

The achievable part is actually saying, okay, over what, what is realistic for me to achieve? And this is all combined with the realistic and the timely, because, you know, if you're 170 pounds and you want to achieve 130 pounds, to set a goal that says I'll have lost 40 pounds within a month is unrealistic. And unachievable. So what you want to do is think about, okay, what's a realistic process, or what are the realistic steps towards that goal? Maybe I want to aim for 2 pounds a week, for example. Okay, so that then gives me a period over which I will then achieve that. Ideal weight, knowing that it's going to take me several months. And I'm not going to work out the maths here about how long that would work, but then it's breaking it down into, you know, this kind of bite-size achievements, the mini goals within the bigger goal that you can actually focus on. And of course, the realistic is to say, okay, well, you know, 2 pounds a week is realistic., and you know, it may even be that you overachieve, which is great because that is actually increasing your motivation and commitment. So the timely then, you know that by a certain date, if you work out the math of the 2 pounds a week to, we're talking 20 weeks then, aren't we? So that will set you an end date, a target date for actually achieving that goal. And then of course, knowing that you're planning to lose the 2 pounds a week, you can then assess, okay, what are the steps I need to take to achieve that? What are the dietary changes I need to make? What are the exercises I need to introduce, which will also give me another level of fitness? So what you're doing is you're breaking it down into small chunks. That actually make it easier for you to achieve it because you're clear on what you want to do, you're clear on what you want to achieve, and you're clear on the steps that are necessary for you to take in order to get there. So again, it's driving down into real specifics.

Absolutely.

And the book, the quote that you read from the book that I included, The Kaizen Way, is absolutely brilliant because It was introduced in Japan in corporate, I think, in one of the big car manufacturers, Toyota or something like that. And it really is saying break things down into the absolute smallest steps you can because that way you remove the resistance to actually doing the things that need to be done. And they even say down to the minute, you know, if you want to exercise, Do 5 minutes of whatever exercise you choose because once you've started you very often find, oh, well, this is good, I'll carry on and I'll end up doing a half hour. Whereas if you say I'm going to do an hour of exercise, you immediately get the resistance of, well, I haven't got time for that now and I'll put it off till tomorrow. Right. Right.

Right. Well, and what you're also gaining is you're gaining confidence and and excitement over the fact that you're making these small wins, these small achievements. So it's giving you confidence to keep moving forward, wouldn't you say?

Absolutely. And it's like, you know, the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Exactly.

We set, we set these big tasks to complete, we never make the first step, we never get to the thousand miles.

Right, exactly.

That's what what stops a lot of people even before they start it.

Yeah. So then you were saying, because that is the critical part, is you can go through this exercise of really defining your goals in a very SMART way, but like you were saying, then, you know, it has to be backed up by commitment. Um, so you, can you now further explain, um, kind of what you, what your thoughts are in regards to why people break them so quickly is because they lack commitment?

Yeah, I think it again comes down to the difference between setting goals from the head and from setting them from the heart. And this is where if you're doing it from the head, you're kind of explaining to yourself why it's a good idea, but you're kind of literally half-hearted about it. Your heart isn't in it. So therefore, when obstacles come up, which they always do, you're going to get distracted, you're going to get put off basically from doing, from actually achieving the goal. And, you know, what I believe is that when we have ideas that are heartfelt, what we're doing is we're not only putting a goal in place that we really, really want to achieve, what we're also doing is we're providing ourselves with the ideal environment for addressing some of these core issues, these ditches as you call them, because we are going to hit them. And if we are not fully committed to the goal that we want, we'll give up, whereas if we've really got our hearts back on this will approach their challenges in a very different way, in a way of saying, okay, this is, this is interesting, this is coming up for me, I'm feeling some resistance to it, I'm not going to give up because failure is not an option, and I'm going to really deal with the issues that come up and clear that and then move on to the next level. And that's the way that we grow, because We do not grow without challenge. Absolutely. So, it, it— Does that answer your question?

No, absolutely it does. It absolutely does. And I want to remind everyone, or at least let you know for the first time, I want you to go to asmilingworld.org and learn more about Jan and the work that she does. But also, be sure that you are following her on Facebook and Twitter. Her Facebook handle is @powerfulpeople. And I actually even just put in, um, Jan Moore, and I was able to find her Facebook page. And, and on Twitter, you can follow and tweet with her @Jan_Moore, and you'll find her right away there as well. And of course, you can always look for her on LinkedIn. And again, go to her website, asmilingworld.org. I also want to mention that she has a free gift for you if you were to go to her website, asmilingworld.org, and sign up. And she has a program called the Dream Achiever Success Kit, which outlines the top 20 mistakes that stop you from achieving your dreams and what to do about them. And she'll go through the 7 major mistakes, the 6 biggest mistakes, and the 7 Top Success Blockers That Leave Your Dreams Dead in the Water. So please go to a smilingworld.org and sign up, and you'll be able to receive her Dream Achiever Success Kit. Uh, we're going to take a brief break, and when we come back, I really want to talk to her. She kind of, uh, segued into, um, a conversation around how you can clear yourself of your fears and limiting beliefs what we call bitches in this world, and she's going to help you and give you some tips and advice in regards to that when we get back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch Shedding the Bitch Radio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking with Dan Moore, who is an intuitive success coach, and as well, which I absolutely love this, she is a people seer. She really is able to kind of get under the COVID so to speak, in regards to what it is you want, what might be holding you back from getting it, and really clearing the way. And that leads us to our next conversation. Jan, you had mentioned before we went off to break that, you know, once you work through helping someone define their SMART goals and really discovering what it is that they want in their life and they don't want, you also then work with them on what are those things that are holding them back and keeping them from being able to confidently pursue their goals and clear their fears and limiting beliefs. How do you go about doing that?

It's really about getting to the, the real source of what those beliefs are. I mean, first thing is to really recognize what fears, what limiting beliefs are coming up for people. And, you know, one of the most prolific ones that I think everybody has to some degree is feeling not good enough. And that can manifest itself in lots of different ways. It can manifest in relationships where, you know, I don't love myself, therefore I'm not good enough to be loved by somebody else, and end up in a dysfunctional relationship. I'm not good enough I'm not good enough to achieve that job that I'd really love to do. I'm not good enough to succeed in business. And so, what we need— what I do with people is I go right back to the source. I get them to write their story of the things that have happened to them leading up to this point that have been really emotionally significant. And most of us, the things that we carry with us have origins back in childhood. And up to the age of 7 or 8, we're in a brainwave state that is the same as almost a hypnotic state. So we have no means of filtering and we're very suggestible. We're in absolute learning mode. And the problem is that if we have experiences with especially people in authority, like parents and teachers, that actually create negative beliefs in ourselves, we store that in our subconscious, and those are the things that continue to dominate our view of ourselves as we go through life. So by— sorry, did you want to say something, Bernadette?

No, no, no, keep going because I have a feeling you're going to answer my next question, so—

okay, so by actually getting people to write the real really significant elements of their story, what I'm able to see are the patterns that are coming through that are obviously impacting on their ability to succeed, whether that's in business, life, whatever, because everything is interconnected. You know, you can't separate business from life because if you've got an issue in your business, then it's going to be manifesting itself in other areas. And for example, a client that I've got came to me because he had relationship issues. He wanted to be supported through ending his marriage. And during the process of dealing with that, what came to the surface very much was that the issues in his relationship with his wife were also symptomatic of issues that he had in his his professional life, that his inability to set boundaries had meant that he'd followed other people's suggestions and intentions for him in terms of the career that he chose instead of his own. So, you know, what comes out in one aspect, then I'm able to identify and help within the other aspect. Aspects as well. So it becomes a very holistic approach rather than just tackling one symptomatic area. And this is where the kind of intuitive thing comes in, because it's like getting the insight as to how this core issue is manifesting in these different areas.

So how— so explain that a little bit more. Uh, I, I understand you know, kind of having your clients write their story to really uncover where certain, you know, belief systems come from. But now that they— once they start doing that, what's your step as far as how do you then kind of, um, integrate your intuitive side of yourself in what they're going through and what they're experiencing and what they're discovering about themselves? What does that look like?

It's again coming back to a couple of things really. One is of telling me the experiences that they have, and this is the whole point about the coaching because what it— the way I work with people is like on two different layers. I'm tackling these, what I would say, universal issues. In a way that I'll explain in a second. But then I'm also working with them very much on their practical day-to-day stuff in terms of seeing how these issues are manifesting, how they're, how they're coming out in the way that they respond to situations in everyday life, and actually helping them to turn around their perception and behaviour from a negative into a positive. And the really key technique that I use is applying what I call the power of neutrality. And this is a universal law that everything in the universe is neutral until we assign an interpretation to it.

Hmm, okay.

I'm sure you understand— this in terms of— I've recently been using the election as an example actually, because you know, you've got the presidential election, you've got an outcome, and on the one hand you've got people that are absolutely over the moon because their candidate has been chosen, and on the other hand you've got people absolutely devastated because they've lost. It's the same situation, but a completely different perception and interpretation, which means that the The situation itself has no meaning until we give it one. So, you have an infinite range of possibilities in terms of how you interpret situations, and this, this is something that was a great revelation to me because it's how I dealt with my really deeply felt core feeling of not good enough. And my experience to use an example, was when I was just starting school. I was probably not even 5 at the time. I started when I was 4 and a half. And the school asked all the pupils to take in some toys and books that they could sell at the school fair to raise funds. And I'd been asking my mum, you know, umpteen times to get things out for me and she hadn't done it. So I thought, right, I'll get them out myself and I'll take them in, which I did. But at that age, obviously not very discerning into what's useful and what isn't. But so the head teacher actually had me up in front of the whole school, told me I was stupid because I'd taken in these things that had crayons, crayoning in them and everything else. And for me it was absolutely devastating because, you know, I'd do what I'd been asked to do and that was what I was told. I was absolutely humiliated. And I had several other experiences in my school life of actually being given the— sat in the corner with the dunce's cap, which if you're not familiar with the dunce's cap, it's really, you know, symbolic of stupidity. And when I actually went back to this, which was very emotionally significant for me, and I actually worked through this with my husband-to-be at the time, Bill, he helped me see a whole different interpretation to it, which was that I acted with initiative. I'd taken responsibility. I'd managed the situation when my mum hadn't been able to, and I'd actually achieved the task I needed to achieve. And the fact that the head teacher didn't recognise that was not my issue. And it was a real aha moment for me because it was like, wow, I hadn't even thought of it like this. And this is really how I work through these situations with people. To say, look at this situation that, that created this, this self-image. How can we look at it differently? What are the different interpretations that we can put on there that are much more positive? And once people start to shift into looking for the positive interpretation in everything, and I say even if it's just that you survived something, you know. Yeah, it shifts the whole energy around things. And yes, it takes some persistence to continue to remind yourself of that positive perception, but it really gets to the core of what was the cause of those issues in the first place.

Absolutely. I love that story. That's a wonderful story. And I think for everyone out there, we You know, they have to be willing to push themselves to reveal, you know, such pain— in some cases painful or shameful or embarrassing or scary type of, uh, experiences that they've experienced over their lifetime, because we all do, we all have them. And because then you get to a point like you did, and it could change their whole outlook on life and their whole direction in life, right?

Absolutely, yeah, yeah. We blame ourselves so much for having, you know, not being able to deal with situations that bring up these issues when, you know, it's not our fault at all. And just by being willing to examine them and see them in a different light, and this is what really leads to that development of self-acceptance. And self-love ultimately.

Yeah.

Well, and sometimes— and would you agree though, Jan, that sometimes it is your, your— not you specifically, but it sometimes is that individual's responsibility or accountability or fault, uh, of how they or what they put out in the world? I mean, I'm guilty of that myself. At the same time, to your point, you know, you need to get to a point where you're willing to look at it very realistically and very raw so you can move through it and, and either change or do something differently to, to shift and make that change in your life.

Completely, yes. I mean, we all have to take responsibility for our, for our own situation. You know, we manifest what we experience, right? This is the issue when people get into victim mode, that they blame everybody else or circumstances for their situation, whereas actually, if they were to stand back and and really review the choices that they've made and the actions that they've taken, they would see a correlation between where they are today and how they got there, and that's through their own personal choices. And the thing is, to really look at these things not from the point of self-condemnation, more from a place of acceptance. Okay, well, yeah, I didn't make a very good decision there. So, okay, how can I learn from this and how can I make different choices in the future? So, you know, my philosophy and the way I approach this work is an acknowledgement of the negative. It's not ignoring it because that gets us nowhere, you know. Right, right, right, right. Mentality of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. You have to acknowledge it without burying yourself in it, and that's the key. You know, this is all about energy, how much energy you put into things. And even with goals, going back to goals, you know, very often we set a goal based on a catalyst of a problem. I'm too fat, I weigh too much, I hate my job. My relationship sucks. But the key thing is to then shift into the solution focus, putting energy into the solution. Okay, how do I go about getting to a weight that I'm comfortable with? How do I go about moving into a different job? How do I deal with the relationship that I've got? Or how do I find a relationship that I really want to be in. So it's that acknowledgement without, without focusing on the problem, right? Shifting into outcome and solution mode, which then puts you on the path to where you want to go, rather than constantly looking over your shoulder to where you've come from. Because I always say, if you're looking over your shoulder, you're going to walk into a brick wall.

It's true. Well, and I think what you're also saying is every issue, every challenge, every struggle, every pain, every what I call bitch has a solution to it. There's a solution to it. And therefore you just have to get out of your head and lay it out very logically, very black and white as to what the solution is and then the step to get there. Wouldn't you agree? We're going to take a really quick break, everybody. And then when we get back, rather, I want to make sure that we talk to her about the biggest factors that are really keeping you from achieving your goals and to leave you with some powerful tips for how you can do it differently as you go forward. All right, we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sharpschools.org. Sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking to the intuitive success coach, or what people call her, the people seer, Jan Mohr. And we're talking about just what you could be doing differently, what you could be doing now in order to create in the new year a new you with new results. Maybe you haven't gotten where you wanted to go or you haven't achieved what you've wanted to, um, achieve. So, Jan— oh, before we we finish up with some additional questions, I want to remind everyone, please go to asmilingworld.org. Check it, you know, check it out, learn more about Jan and her coaching and mentoring that she provides. As well, sign up for her Dream Achiever Success Kit. You can just go to asmilingworld.org and complete the signup form, and you'll get a free copy of her Dream Achiever Success Kit. The Top 20 Mistakes That Stop You from Achieving Your Dreams and What to Do About Them. I also want you to go to Facebook and Twitter and follow her. Her Facebook handle is @powerfulpeople and her Twitter handle is @Jan_Moore. And of course, you can always reach out to her via email at janet@asmilingworld.org.

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All right. So, Jan, now that we've kind of, you've helped someone define their goals, identify their limiting beliefs, tell their life story of where those beliefs came from, what do you find is the single biggest factor that stops people from achieving their goals? Is there anything in particular?

I think it's just allowing themselves to slip back into the negativity, into the the doubts and the fears. Because one of the things about our brain is that it develops these neural networks that when we have thoughts that go along the same pathways, they, they bulk up like muscles. The more you go path of thinking, the stronger those pathways become, and therefore you're drawn to be thinking the same thoughts. And this is how habits are formed, that we have a habit of behaving in a certain way— smoking, drinking, whatever— and certain things trigger those cravings or that behavior to continue. And this is why it takes a while to break one habit and start another. So, the key thing is really to be very, very conscious of where your thoughts are going and where your feelings are going. And as soon as you identify a doubt coming up or a fear coming up, don't suppress it. Actually acknowledge it and say, okay, where is this coming from? What's triggering this? How do I overcome this? And really thinking about changing your perspective into a can-do rather than a can't-do mentality. So it really does come down to to mindfulness, to the mindset, because you can know all the theory in the world about how to make a successful business, how to find a great relationship, but unless you have the mindset to follow through and overcome these resistances, this is where success doesn't happen. So really be conscious. This is raising consciousness and awareness of every thought that you have, of how you're making decisions, consciously responding rather than reacting to things.

Yeah, well, isn't it that saying too, which I always found to be very woo-woo in the past, but I really ground myself in it, in it these days, and that is learning to be present, like learning to be where you are as opposed to off in some la-la land often some beating yourself up mental game that you're playing with yourself, wouldn't you say?

Oh, completely.

And one of the things that I really focus on with people is being in the— being present, being in the present moment, because regrets come from the past. Oh, I failed last time, so I'm not gonna, you know, probably I'm not going to do— be able to do it this time. And right here is the future. It's It's false expectations appearing real. It's thinking that a negative outcome is inevitable for you, which it isn't. So, it's like your imagination takes over in a negative way rather than using that imagination creatively to visualize your success rather than failure. It definitely— because everything happens in the present moment. Nothing happens in the future. It's only what we choose now that determines what that future is going to look like.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow. And time always flies when we're in these deep, deep enlightening conversations. So I want everybody to go to a smilingworld.org, and I want you to kind of, you know, click around and do some, uh, some recognizant, uh, research on Jan Moore, because I, I know you're going to want to sign up and download her Dream Achievers Kit. And you can do that right there on asmilingworld.org, as well as follow her on Facebook at Powerful People and on Twitter @jan_moor. Jan, I want to thank you so much for being part of the program. It was awesome.

Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?

It does, doesn't it? And everyone, she gave you a lot of tips and tools and, and advice as to how you can kind of get ready and bring in this new year with a bang. So be sure to even come back to this program on blogtalkradio.com/shannonthebitchgame and listen to it and, you know, and multiple times if you really need to get grounded in the topics of discussion that we had today. And then I want you to all come back next week. We're going to have our Ask Bernadette, which is you are free to ask me anything that you want. You can post them on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch pages, or you can join me live right here on BlogTalkRadio and call in at 1-818-572-2910 and ask me your questions. It could be about your work, it could be about your family, it could be about your business, it could be about your goals for the coming year. And I would love to be able to help you shift to riches in this new year. All right, so I want to thank Jan again for participating today. A shout out to Deborah Parker of Parker House for guiding us through the hour. And I'll look forward to talking to all of you back here next week, Tuesday noon Eastern time, for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everyone.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.