Put the ME back in MomME for this special episode with Eirene Heidelberger!

Hello and hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you on this absolutely beautiful day in Atlanta, Georgia? And our guest is out of Chicago. I hope wherever you are around the world, it's morning, noon, or night, listening to this live or downloaded, I hope it's a beautiful experience for you, let's say. But it is Moms Week, which is what gets me really excited. And it's funny, I'm not even a mom other than you all know Charlie, my four-legged best friend who is laying down behind me in my office. Yet I have a large family of moms and parents as a whole. So today's conversation and all week in the Shedding the Bitch community, we are celebrating you moms out there. I told our guests that I am not a mom, but Deborah, everyone knows our social media guru Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services. She is. So we're celebrating all of you out there with some great tips, advice. Maybe our guests will share, have to share some tough love with you ladies, moms especially, to start putting the me, putting the me back in mommy. Before we get into all that though, because it is Mom's Week, I'd love, love, love, love for you to post any images, any photos that you want, quotes. Anything that really has to do with moms, whether it's you as a mom and your experience and the love of being a mom, or it is about your own mother. So go to Shedding the Bitch Facebook page or our Twitter page. We'd love to see those and share them and give you some shout-outs as a result of it. So as I mentioned, I did broadcast last week from Ocean City, New Jersey with my 5 sisters and one of my nieces, and it is our time to celebrate those that are mothers. Let's see, there's 6 of us girls and 4 are moms. And so we just had a blast of a time for 8 or 9 days just hanging out, kicking up our feet, and watching dolphins and whales go by our patio. So it was wonderful. And I even learned a few things and took on a few new activities, that being pickleball, if anybody out there knows about it. You have to reach out to me on Facebook. It was an absolute hoot. My sister introduced us to it. And it really provided such a great community of people, young and older, just all kind of both men, women, and age groups. And it was just a lovely, lovely, lovely experience. So that was my really aha moment last week on vacation. And of course, you come back and there's tons of things waiting for you, which, that's okay, that's all right. I'm serving our Shedding the Bits community and that's just fine with me. Let's see, our upcoming guests. We have Holly Brown coming up next week. Now ladies and men, you know Shedding the Bits, where it came from, and she's gonna touch on something similar. You know, could you be an adult bully? And I told you in the past that for many, many years I didn't know. No one called me out on it, and yet it kind of impacted every aspect of my life. And until I shedded that was I able to really move on and have the life that I want. So Holly is going to kind of just provide us a reminder and her take on whether or not people in your life and/or yourself have a tendency to potentially be an adult bully. And then we're going to talk to Donna Signorelli. Now, I've known Donna for a while, have anxiously waited for her to be on the program. She has a mission called the Custody Project, and I'd love for you to look it up, custodyproject.org, whose mission is to promote the general welfare both directly and indirectly, of women and their children. But it goes a little deeper than that because it's as a unit related to care, custody, and visitation issues. So she's really addressing those women that are in the throes of battling for custody of their children due to many causes within their within their marriage and/or family environment. And so she's taken up this cause for quite some time now. And for those of you moms potentially dealing with a situation like this, this is a program you're definitely going to want to contribute your questions, maybe even your own story and challenges, and let Donna provide you her amazing, amazing Conversation tips and advice. So that's the programs that we have coming up for the rest of the month. And then we'll go into— oh, I can't believe it's June already— and we will open up with our Ask Bernadette. So post your stories, questions, or challenges out on Facebook or Twitter. And last month I've gotten great feedback, and a lot of you listened in on that again. Live and/or downloaded as a podcast, and it covered a number of career, business, and life issues. So we want to help you in a similar fashion, so be sure to post those, email me directly, BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com, or even reach out to us in any private message, whether that is Twitter, Facebook, or even LinkedIn. I get them through LinkedIn as well. Alright, so today, moms, this is directed to you and/or parent if there's some dads listening. Today's show is all about how to parent more effectively and put the me back in mommy to carve out happy mommy time. So you're going to learn the GIT MOM or GIT MOM 7-step parenting solutions to be a more effective and efficient parent. You want your children to listen and respect you? Do you want to grow their confidence and self-esteem? Then let's start with you first, mom. So you will hear and learn the number one most important factor in being a happy and confident mommy and raising hope— oh, I'm sorry, that too— for raising happy and confident kids. You're going to learn why it's crucial to get off the mommy island. And exactly how to do it. And the key to parenting effectively with your partner. Remember that your partner is not your knight in shining armor nor a mind reader. You need to speak up and be sure he or she understands what you need to be a happier parent. You're also going to learn how to create healthy routines for your kids that the entire family will benefit from and how to end the power struggles in your household. Debra, I had mentioned to our guests that you're a mom, so I hope you enjoy and get a lot out of this as well. And happy Mom's Day, by the way. Thank you very much.

I'm actually looking really forward to this.

Yes, yes, yes, I figured as much. And yes, happy Mom's Day. All right, your rich question, everyone, before we take a break and come back and introduce our guests. Your rich question. Going out to those moms and those that care for moms. Maybe you tend to your mom or you just simply love moms. Ask yourself this: What would you love to be focused on first as a woman, as a mom, as a parent, knowing that when you take care of yourself first, or not even first but at all, everyone around you wins? So that's your question I want you to be thinking about as we get into this conversation. I want you to tag with us in our conversation. You can tag #GITMoms, Get It Together Moms. You can hashtag #GetItTogether or you can hashtag #Parenting and of course #ShedTheBitch and join in on the conversation. So that's #GITMoms, which means Get It Together. So that's a hashtag, #GetItTogether, and then parenting. All right, all that said, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we are going to dive into this conversation and get the mom and get the me back in mommy. We'll talk to you in a minute.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, insecurity and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com consulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

All right, moms, are you ready? Our guest, Irene Hildeberger, is a Founder of GITMOM, Get It Together Mom, a nationally renowned parent coaching and advice company that empowers moms to feel in control in this totally out of control experience we call parenting. GITMOM, I'm going to have to ask, Irene, I'm going to interrupt for a minute because I want to make sure I'm getting that right. Would you say GITMOM or GITMOM?

Oh, hi Bernadette, hi. We say GitMom.

All right, we want to make sure— Mom is the business.

Thank you.

Correct.

Hello everybody.

Correct. So GitMom is the only coaching company in the country focused on mom's happiness rather than their kids. GitMom uses a fail-proof 7-step system with its clients to create a harmonious home because happy, confident, independent moms raise well-adjusted, self-assured, and happy kids. By living the Fit Mom principles every day, Irene gets to support her daily love of Pinot Noir, reality TV, and fitness while giving her 3 boys the parenting they need to thrive. In addition to coaching mommies around the country, Irene Irene can be found everywhere from the Huffington Post to the Today Show as an expert on hot-button parenting issues. She has also appeared on NBC and Fox Chicago, Cyrus Radio, and is a contributor to Today's Parent, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Parent, 30 Second Mom, Make It Better, and many, many more parenting resources. Welcome to the program, Irene.

Hi Bernadette, thank you so much for having me. I'm really, really excited and this is great. It's almost Mother's Day, 5 days away.

It is, it is almost Mom's Day and I want to make sure everyone knows, please go while you're listening to the program and check out her website which is, I can't find it at the moment, which is GitMom.com. Yeah, yeah, getmom.com everybody. All right, so Irene, I'm so excited about this because you, like you said, it is Mom's Week. So help those moms out there, even those parents, because we do have men that listen to the program. What is a parent coach?

Of course. Well, it's a parent question. So a parent coach is a certified professional. I am certified, I am a professional, and I understand the reality and the psychology of parenting today and what our everyday parent is facing. And a parent coach's job is to empower parents and give them the confidence and guide them through all of the complexities that moms and dads face every single day.

Sure, absolutely. And give me an idea, how long have you been doing this?

Get Mom is 4 years old. Woo-hoo! I know, right? Thank you. And I really had kind of a life moment on Sunday because I launched Get Mom at a seminar at one of my favorite boutique gyms, Shred 415. Shred 415, let me give them a little shout out.

4 years ago.

And over the weekend on Sunday, my 2 oldest boys who are 9 and 13, they took a kids class there. And I kind of had an out-of-body moment because they have grown up going to the daycare at Shred while I have worked out. And now they are a part of Shred because I launched this business and, and just love their concept. And it's all about fitness and helping moms get off mommy island. And there you go. So Get Mom is 4 years old.

Nice, congratulations! That is awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Thank you.

We're still here.

And I have a feeling you will because there's a lot of moms and parents to take care of, that is for sure. So let me ask you something. You mentioned a 7-step process, so to speak, around and within this parenting system of GET MOM. So kind of can you walk us through those 7 steps, or at least, you know, kind of give us an idea what that involves?

Absolutely. So, at GitMom, we identified that if you as a parent accomplish and are successful at the 7 steps in the GitMom Parenting System, then you will be rewarded with happy mommy time. And I realized that I was the only parent coach in the country really identifying that moms are unhappy. And I noticed there was a difference in how I was parenting versus my mom's group when I had my first son 13 years ago. And the difference was that I was maintaining my own individual life from pre-baby. So what we do as parent coaches at Get Mom is we work with our clients on these 7 steps. Number 1, is sleep. I mean, it doesn't matter if you're an infant or if you're a 45-year-old mom, you need sleep. It's like a basic human function, right? And it's crucial as a parent to teach your child healthy sleep habits because sleep is the number one determining factor in raising a healthy and calm child. At Gitmom, we're all about calm and keeping life simple and zen and not overwhelming the family unit. And so we really feel that a happy and calm family begins with a restful night. So that's number one, and that's really non-negotiable with our clients. When they come to us with any issues, the first question that I ask back is, tell me about your family's sleep habits. Because I— because it's so simple, right? Like, think about, you know, Bernadette, like, if you wake up, you know, crappy and unhappy, you're probably like, oh, I slept horribly last night, right? Like, you can't function. So as moms, you know, we don't want to listen to our kid whining and crying. It's, it's super stressful. So it's up to mommy to teach her child healthy sleep habits. So, that's number 1 in the 7-step system. And then we can go from there, which is schedule. So, again, this goes back to whether you are an infant or an adult. Adult children's nervous systems, they thrive on routine because a consistent schedule sets really clear expectations for both the parent and the child so they know what to expect. Expect and what is happening next in their day, and then the child understands what's going to happen, and the child doesn't melt down. Because the kid's like, oh, this is Groundhog's Day. I know that we're going to go from here into there, and then we're going to do this, and da da da da.

Right.

And how this works to mommy is when mommy is meeting her child's needs successfully, then she can work in her mommy time around her child's needs. So, there you go. So, like, 1 and 2, sleep and schedule, not— I mean, it's all non-negotiable. These 2 are non-negotiable. Like, this is how—

And the schedule goes beyond— and these— yes, I agree, sleep and schedule. And the schedule goes beyond the sleep. It also has everything else that goes with it.

It's feed, right? It's proper snack time and meal time and a 30-minute nap and bedtime routine.

Right.

You know, the whole day is scheduled.

Yep.

Then we go to guiding good behavior. So the whole idea here is if you're successful at guiding good behavior by providing your child choices and distracting them when they— when you can, you know, you think, "Oh God, my kid is going to freak out." If you can distract them successfully, they're not going to freak out. And being positive. When you express pleasure in your child's, like, specific good behavior, for example, "Nice job hanging up your coat," versus just like a, you know, a mom staring down at her phone saying, "Oh, good job." Because when a mom points out the specific good behavior, a child really takes pride in his actions, because he's like, "Oh, mom took notice, and I want to make mom proud again, and I'm going to do this again." And then, in addition to guiding good behavior, there's this process called a 5-2-1 transition, and it's calmly transitioning your child to the next event. So, your kid, let's say your kid is on his device, is totally ignoring you, and you as a mom know we need to brush our teeth and get our coat and shoes on to head out to preschool, right? So, mommy comes in, and mommy says to the child, with great eye contact, "In 5 minutes, we're going to brush our teeth and go to school." And then mommy jets out, goes and Swiffers the hallway, does whatever the heck she wants to do. Comes back into the child's room, direct eye contact, "In 2 minutes we're brushing our teeth." Goes out, comes back, "In 1 minute." And what is happening here is the child feels respected, mommy respects that I am on my device right now, and mommy's calmly transitioning her child to get the kid to do what she ultimately wants the kid to do, which is brush his teeth, get his coat and shoes on, and jet out the door without anyone crying and whining they don't want to go to school. So it's all about removing these emotional tug-of-wars. So those are 1, 2. So we have sleep, we have schedule, we're guiding our child's good behavior, and then we get to discipline.

Okay, before you move on, before you move on—

Oh yeah, please.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Irene, did you call that last thing 5-to-1 transition?

Great question. 5-2-1, as in 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute.

Oh, gotcha, gotcha.

Okay. And the 5-2-1 minute transition, it can and should be used through your entire child's childhood. It can be used until your child is 18, 19, 20, because if you start it when your child is 1 years old, your child understands how to transition calmly. And it should be used anytime you need to get your kid to change what they're doing, to get your kid to do what you want them to do. And it truly, truly works without power struggles, and I love it. And it's okay, simple, simple exercise.

Okay, so then we go, all right, number 4.

Number 4 is discipline. The whole idea here is, if you're following Steps 1 through 3, which are all about being a proactive parent, you don't need discipline. Because your child is already understanding their place in the family dynamic. And the strength of Get Mom is giving our mommies the confidence in these— in Steps 1 through 3, and how to carry out Steps 1 through 3. So, we do teach how to discipline. In specific family situations, and that's definitely a case-by-case basis. But we really pride ourselves on giving moms the confidence and the strong backbone to carry out how to create sleep habits and scheduling and guiding good behavior. So, discipline is a part of the Seven Steps, and that's like a— family case-by-case situation, because then we go into listening. Every family out there has listening issues. I mean, it's just human nature. Right? I mean, as adults we have listening issues because we have so many things bombarding, right, our senses between the devices, and TV, and radio, and people talking at us, and we're like, oh my gosh, my brain is totally overwhelmed. We say if you want your child to listen to you, you have to lead by example. And it's so simple. I watch so many families walking 10 feet ahead of their child. They've signed on to many activities, they're running late because their child hasn't respected the boundaries and they haven't transitioned. And then they get in the car and the child won't listen to mom. Well, Mom, did you take a step back and listen to your child and connect after their long day at school? So, it's all about pausing what Mommy's doing, go back to the direct eye contact, listen to your child, and respond. And this is a really— this takes a lot of patience. You know what, it can be boring because your kid might just talk to you about Minecraft, 20 minutes, and it's super mind-numbing and boring, and you don't— like, as a mom, you don't care. You don't need to know 20 minutes of Minecraft. But if Minecraft turns your child on, mommy has to be patient. And if mom is well-rested and calm because her child is well-rested and calm, she has the mental faculties to sit there and listen to 20 minutes of Minecraft conversation, right? So she's leading by example, right? You know, right? And then we go into number 6. Thank you. So we go to 6, which is respect, and this is non-negotiable. We, we respect our elders, we respect our bosses at work, and why we as parents don't expect respect from our children is— it's not acceptable, and we have to establish that we are the authority in our children's lives. And it really goes back to, if your child is well rested and calm and properly transitioned and you need your child to clean his room, it's going to get done quickly without whining and complaining because you have been a proactive parent and set up these strategies in advance. And then, okay, the kid cleans his room, we move on. And then lastly, number 7 is self-esteem and confidence. So this— the foundation for a child's confidence and self-esteem, it begins in childhood, and it truly starts with mom and dad's self-esteem. We really believe strongly at GetMom to allow kids to be kids Stop over-scheduling, stop over-committing, and let your child navigate the world on their own. Your child forgets his lunch, your child learns, "Oops, I'm not going to do that tomorrow." Mom cannot rescue her child every day. It will not serve the family or teach the child any consequences. And again, if mom— Oh, wait, I'm sorry, what?

No, I just said absolutely.

Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you. And then, you know what, again, if mom is calm and she's rested, she's mindful, and she has the patience to step back and allow her child to make mistakes, because parents are not their child's maid, and the more your child does for himself, the greater the confidence and self-esteem he will feel about himself. And then, because you're creating this really calm and easy family life. Mommy isn't asking her child, for example, to brush his teeth 30 times. Mommy asks one time, and then that means the child brushes his teeth, and then mommy can have happy mommy time. The whole family is happier because it's running smoothly. And there's the 7 steps.

Wow. Well, and I, the whole time you were talking too, I had mentioned to you at the top of the hour that I'm one of 12 children. And you know, it was that time where there wasn't social media, there wasn't technology, there wasn't computers. I can't even— I've been trying to envision even like where my parents kept a schedule or kept the 12 sports we all played. Oh, we all did it together. Yeah, well my parents like ran our house like very, what I'll call, uh, was it tight ship? Okay. Yeah, like a tight ship. Yeah, and at the same time they were very, very kind of, they respected us and we absolutely respected them, and they gave us the room to be who we were, while at the same time we also knew what we needed to do. I can just imagine, you know, the struggles that that, you know, moms go through on trying to balance everything, especially those working moms.

So what do you—

in all of this, um, 7 steps, where does like the working mom come in? Because I would think in some way, shape, or form, you know, that impacted as well as co-parenting. There's a co-parenting factor here. You can— my mom can do everything that she wants to do, but then there's the the partner. What do you do there?

Well, okay, so first let's back up. At GetMom, we've done research and we have identified that it doesn't matter whether mom is working or not. Mom is in charge of the family. She's the backbone. In fact, this is like the grossest number, moms do 70 6% of the work, of the mommy work, the parenting work, the housework versus dad. So there you go. And again, it doesn't, it doesn't matter if mom is working or not. So it's so important that mom speaks up for what she needs and she has the confidence to understand, you know what, I am a person too. I cannot handle all of this. I don't want to handle all of this. It's not fair. You know what, our child has two parents, and you, sir, or, or you, ma'am, need to step up and, and help out and be a parent. You're not a babysitter. You need to take an active role in our family's life. So, right, you know, yeah, go ahead.

No, what I was going to say is I want to take a break and come back and focus on that. I want to focus on kind of what do you recommend to those moms and how, what does that look like in regards to that somewhat negotiation between the parents that really allow the mom to put the mom back in mommy, or put the me back in mommy. Let's do it. So we're going to take a break and when we get back we'll dive into all of that with our guest, Irene Hildeberger of Get it together, Mom. Alright, we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and shuttingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@parkerhouseservices.com. Deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, we are talking moms today and actually all week in the Shedding the Bitch community, whether that be Facebook, Twitter, or right here on Shedding the Bitch Radio. And we are celebrating you at the same time our guest Irene Hildebrand of Get Mommed is trying to set you straight about what you need to do to put the me back in mommy. So Irene, when we went to break, we were transitioning into the fact that we know moms need to speak up, and they need to ask for help, and they need to do what they need to do with their parents, their co-parents, in order to find that time and focus and that attention need it within that parenting environment. How do you go about coaching your mommies to do that, to speak up, to negotiate, to compromise, to discuss it, as opposed to just say yes to everything?

Well, it's a great question. It's something that I work with my mommies, you know, pretty much every week this comes up within their family dynamic. So, I am all about helping mommy say to her partner, "What do you need this weekend?" for example. On Friday night or even Thursday night, "What do you need to do this weekend?" And the partner says, "You know, I have bowling, I have the bowling league, and I'm going to play basketball, and then I'm going to go to the movies." get a beer, you know, with my— with our neighbor. And mommy says, okay, I hear you, but let me tell you what— but we're going to just pretend our little boy's name in the family is Johnny. Johnny has this birthday party, and then grandma wants to come and take him to a movie, and I need to get my nails done, and I also need to go I want to get off mommy island and meet a girlfriend for a glass of wine.

Okay.

And daddy or the partner looks at mommy as if, okay. And then it's up to mommy to say, you know what, here's our schedule. We only have 48 hours. We can get most of this done. You scratch my back, I scratch your back. And it's all about creating The family time together, and then creating individual alone time. Mom gets her alone time so that Daddy gets to be with Johnny, because it's so, so important that a child has individual time and learns different things from each parent, because men and women are totally different. Right?

Right.

You know what? And it's great for Mommy to get the heck out of Dodge, get off Mommy Island, Often, what I find is mommy likes to micromanage. Again, mommy's doing 76% of the parenting, and so mommy feels, "I know how to do this best." The way to shift that dynamic is for mommy to get out and go and fuel her needs and what she needs to get herself calm and get off the mommy Groundhog Day. Kind of Ferris wheel. Does that make sense?

And then, Daddy, absolutely.

And then Daddy gets his time. And then they— and but again, you know, there's always that the, the three, the three, the family dynamic. They're all together, but they all get their time apart because that is how that they kind of fuel back up to go back into the Groundhog's Day that is parenting. And What happens is when you take even an hour break away, like really, really makes such a huge difference in both moms, both dads, and like just makes them realize, you know what, I am an individual, I'm not just a parent. And then they come back into the family dynamic feeling like rejuvenated and remembering why they wanted to be a parent in the first place. So, again, you know what, Mommy, because, you know, at GetMom, we feel Mommy's the backbone, so it's up to Mommy to kind of create this proactive weekend thinking. And again, the weekend idea is just an example because so much goes on over the week, over a weekend's time with everyone kind of scaring each other.

Right?

We're all like, "What should we do now?" And you know what, the weekend will not beat you down. Like a lot of moms I talk to by Sunday night, they're like, oh my God, I hate my family. Like, he did this, he did that, da da da da da. And I say, you know what, let's back it up, let's back it up to Thursday night, and let's have a proactive conversation on how we cannot feel that way on Sunday night. And dad, will recognize that because we have created— again, we're going back to schedule— we've created this schedule of who's going to be with Johnny, who's doing what, and who's going where. And that when Mommy is not micromanaging and hovering and complaining, because she got her time away too, it's not just about Dad getting his time away, he is like, sight because mom is like, "Cool and done," you know, and children really feed off of our emotions. So, so that's one example that I coach my families.

Very cool. Well, I want to remind everybody, please go to getmom.com and learn all about Irene and her team and her coaching services. She's a full parenting coaching and advice company. But also follow her. So Facebook, and I love the guests that make it really easy on us. So if you just Google even Gitmom, which is G-I-T for get it together, Gitmom, you'll find her as Gitmom on Facebook, on Twitter. You can reach out to her on LinkedIn, Aerine Hildeberger, and I will tell you it's pronounced air-reen as if A-R-E-E-N. And yet it's spelled E-I-R, so you can look her up on LinkedIn as well. And then—

Oh, and you know what, and Instagram. Instagram too. Instagram is super fun for moms because it's all about pictures, right?

There.

You can stand in that grocery line.

You can take a picture of mom on Instagram.

Absolutely. Yes, yes, Bernadette.

Yep.

There you go. All right, everybody. And then of course go to getmom.com. All right. So you've mentioned several times, and every time you say it I kind of giggle, you mentioned Mommy Island. And I love that. So what does Mommy Island look like and does it serve margaritas is what I want to know.

Well, see, I know, it's, you know, it's almost, it's almost a cruel name because you would think that being on an island you would have the Margarita. But what happens is mommy has her baby, and then she is living a place of isolation and anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. And that's her Mommy Island. And that, even though an island sounds like a great place to be, it's not when you're having those emotions. And what happens is Because mommy's feeling all these feelings, it continues through motherhood. And then I start coaching moms who have children who have gone— who are now in school full-time and they're really lonely because they put themselves into parenting 24/7 because that's what they thought. That's what I'm supposed to do. I've had a kid. This is what I'm supposed to do. No, you're not supposed to do that because you're still a person. You're still an individual. You have your own needs and wants. You have things that you like to do, right? But if you're parenting 24/7, you have zero time to feed any of those wants and needs. So we're all about getting off of this mommy island. And we want to shift— oh, what were we going to say?

No, go ahead, go ahead.

Oh, okay. So we really want to shift mom's expectations that they're supposed to do it all and what it is supposed to look and feel like as a parent. And mainly we want to take the pressure off of moms having to do it all because it doesn't serve the family well.

Absolutely. Well, and what you're, what you're really doing is you're wanting to make sure that woman is focused on her as a woman Absolutely. Of which mom should only be a part of that, and therefore, you know, because I often talk about the fact that, you know, we only have this one life to live. It goes really, really fast.

Yeah.

How do you want to live it? And I would hate to think that a lot of moms, you know, go to their, you know, go to the end and they're just like, oh my gosh, I never really got to know me.

Right.

So that's what you help with. Exactly. Sweet. Love it, love it. Okay, so I'm sitting here thinking to myself, okay, what is that one question? And I actually even reached out to Deborah, not to put her on the spot, but what is the most—

Hi, Deborah.

—kind of popular question that you get from moms? Because there has to be some commonality.

Yes, sleep. Anything sleep-related is the hottest topic. In parenting because when, when mom and dad bring home their little bundle of joy, that little bundle does not want to sleep. And sleep deprivation causes a lot of problems for the entire family as well as really, really impacts postpartum depression. So we're not going to get into that, right? But, right. I mean, because, right, we, yeah. So, it's really, the most popular question is all about sleep. And families, they want sleep training advice whether their baby is 4 months old or whether they have a 5-year-old who sleeps in bed with them and they can't get the kid out. Or they have a kid who is 3 years old who climbs out of his crib and shows up in bed at 2 AM. And then no one gets sleep because there's elbows and knees. So it's truly sleep, and it all goes back to mom having the confidence to say, "This is not acceptable. I can't live like this. I need sleep. I need to go to my work, or I need to be a better mom, or I need to be a happier woman." I need sleep. So, you know, families come to me for sleep advice and I always go back to, here are the strategies that will work for your individual family. They're only words, and so I'm here to really boost up mommy because again, she's in charge. We feel, get mom, mom's in charge. So, I go in and I figure out what is mom, What makes mom tick? And how am I going to get her? Because she's already contacted GetMom, right? She knows something's not working. So, and that's always, that's the biggest step, right? Like, just to say, just to send that email, help. So then my job, get into her psychology and then how I'm going to help her carry through the strategies successfully and quickly. Because you know what? Like you said, we have one life. Let's not waste it. We've identified a problem. Let's fix it.

Yes, absolutely. And I want to kind of echo on her note there. Although, not although, Irene is out of Chicago. She does meet parents in the home, but guess what? She can meet anybody, and she can do it on FaceTime, and I'm sure she has a number of other ways that she can reach out to you. So it doesn't matter. Don't be sitting here listening saying, oh my gosh, I can't have somebody come in and evaluate my situation. She can. So definitely be sure to reach out to her. And I actually want to also make sure we mention her email address because, again, you can reach right out to her saying, I need help. I need your support and resources. And it would be Irene at @getmom.com. That's easy. So it's E-R-E-N-E @getmom.com. So be sure to email her or go to her website and reach out to her on her contact page. We're going to take a brief break. Oh, please.

I was just going to say, you know what, I do a ton of FaceTime with clients from the coast, from New York and LA. OK. At Get Mom, we're truly a judgment-free zone. And I want to say, I've been doing this for 4 years, and there's truly nothing any mom can say to me that would shock me. I don't care. Right. I'm just thrilled. Right. No, I seriously don't. I'm like, bring it on. The more crazy you have, like, the better we're going to do. So let's do it.

Don't hold back. Right.

Right.

Right. Don't hold back because, ladies, if you are a mom and you are struggling with something, then the only way to solve it is to get some support sometimes. So don't be proud, swallow your pride, and reach out and get in touch with Eryn. We're going to take a brief break and we'll get back. I want to hear some kind of personal stories. I want to ask her kind of like her experience as a mom and with her kids. So we'll be right back and get into that part of the conversation.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, we are talking to parenting coach focused definitely on you moms out there. Irene Hildeberger, gitmom.com. Gitmom.com. Get it together, ladies, moms. That's right. Take time to make sure that you— take time to make sure that you are focused on you, and that's where Irene can help. So, Irene, obviously this came out of kind of, you know, you even looking at your own family and your own mothering and parenting and whatnot. What personal stories of your own family would you like to share?

Oh, well, so, you know, everyone, since I've had this business, everyone looks at me, you know, and they approach me throughout the city of Chicago and they come up to me, you know, kind of shyly asking, you know, are you Gitmom? Because I am a big face and there's a big social media presence and now here I am, you know, ba-boom. But I was not always this happy, confident, shiny mommy. In fact, I'll be honest, and that's what CuteMom is all about, being very real. Because you know what? I say the things and talk about things that make people uncomfortable, or maybe they don't remember, but are reality about parenting. And so I think— Right. When I had my first son. So I have Cole, who's 13, and Gray is 9, and Wells is 5. So I had Cole. I was a stay-at-home mom. And you know, I didn't like him. I didn't like him. I didn't like parenting. I didn't like being at home. I just, I was stressed out. I couldn't stop like Swiffering because I had so much anxiety and I needed to control. My home because I couldn't control him. He was, he was always crying. And, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is, this is really stressful, and I don't like this, and what have I done? And I really, really miss my professional pre-baby life. And we would, you know, we would race from thing to thing. We would go to grocery, and then we would go to Target, and then we'd get home and we would have you know, a bottle and take a nap, and he wouldn't nap long. And I was like, just like a bundle, bundle of nerves. And I realized I couldn't live like this. This was not— this is— I wasn't, I wasn't being successful at life. And I had like, I had the balls to say, I can't continue like this. This is no way to live. So I decided to start reading some books. Parenting books, and I realized, you know, they're all written by 80-year-old male pediatricians, and I thought, "There's something wrong with this picture, but these are the tools I have, so I'm going to go with it." And I ended up learning how to sleep train him when he was 6 months old and then get him on a 2-nap schedule. And within a month, with him sleeping, you know, 12 hours in his crib at night, and then taking two 2-hour naps, I then had a lot of mommy time. And I thought, oh, this is not so bad because he was rested. He wasn't crying like he was until I decided to, you know, make a change. And I realized I don't need to do it all. I don't, I don't need to like clean the dishes every night. I don't need to swiffer every, you know, and I just decided Enough was enough. So, so even though like I look like I'm so put together, which I am put together now because I've had all these years of experience, because I made these adjustments and I realized that these adjustments were what, what we're building this Gitmom system without realizing, right, what I was doing.

Yeah, so you got a lot together.

Hey, thanks. So, uh, you know what, parenting is Parenting can suck. It's really, really hard, but it doesn't have to be that way. Right.

Yay for moms out there! There's a solution for you. Yes, you got it. We're here. I have such a high regard for moms, parents as a whole. I don't know how my parents ever did it, and we, you know, I often say we're a very dysfunctional family. Yeah, right. And it's just, you know, I just, you know, I just have to, you know, just honor them on a daily basis. Absolutely. What's one last tip? What's one, you know, last tip or piece of advice or suggestion would you make to our moms out there as we wrap up our conversation?

Oh, okay. I would say my last piece of advice is If something isn't working, if mom has a nagging feeling every day that she hates her life, then she needs to make a change. And it's as simple as that. It's, it's just taking that first step, saying, you know what, I'm not really happy here. And then mom needs to really think about What will make her happy? Because again, like we talked about at the beginning of the hour, our partners are not mind readers. Our families aren't. Our best friends aren't. No one is coming in the front door, you know, at 6 PM after mommy's been home all day with little Johnny saying, "Oh, honey, let me rescue you. How may I like sweep you off your feet? What can I do for you?" No. No one is a mind reader. So mom has to like, you know, gain that confidence and say, "Something's not working. I need to make a change." There's your last piece of advice.

Yeah, well, and I think it's a very critical piece of advice, and I'm going to even kind of put a slant on it because there's a saying of silence is acceptance, right? So if you don't speak up, you're kind of just accepting the situation, the environment that you're in. So ladies, take Irene's advice. You need to speak up. You need to recognize the fact that your kids and your partner or your spouse are not mind readers. You need to kind of just have the courage to kind of recognize that you're unhappy and then just ask for that help and seek it. Because it is true that she talks about everyone else then wins around you. By you focusing on yourself. Gitmom.com. Gitmom.com. Ari, thank you so much for being part of this special Mom's Day weekend. Thank you for doing it. Sharing. Thank you. Yeah, definitely, it was fabulous. And at the same time, everyone, 7 steps. No, it won't be easy. They sound simple, those 7 steps, but at the same time, that's why she and her team are there for you. Whether it's in person or if it's, you know, other ways.

Or we do by FaceTime.

Yeah, FaceTime. So be sure to reach out to her. And I want to remind— so thank you very much, Irene. That was fabulous.

Oh, thank you. No, thank you. Thank you for the time.

You're welcome. So I want to remind everybody, next week we're getting into a conversation whether or not You're a Bully or Someone Around You Is Actually an Adult Bully, with our guest Holly Brown. And then the following week we talk to Donna Signorelli. And if you have an opportunity, look up the Custody Project. It is to promote the general welfare, both directly, indirectly, of women, moms, and their children. But as it relates to care, custody, and visitation issues, for those that are battling the whole process, so to speak. She focuses on helping those moms, um, and every mom out there. Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services and all the moms in my community and the Shedding the Bitch community, please have a beautiful— and, and actually, Irene, have a beautiful, beautiful Mother's Day celebration. Oh, thank you, thank you. You're welcome. You too, Deborah. Yeah, exactly. And take time for yourself. Put the me back in mommy and have a beautiful, beautiful celebration. We'll talk to everybody this time next week on Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.