Radio Inteview with BernadetteBoas on Write Now Radio

Good morning. I am Tim Morrison, the host of Right Here Right Now, a weekly internet radio show. We interview business leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals about their work and the book they have written, are in the process of writing, or intend to write someday. Right Here Right Now is brought to you by Write Choice Services, a company that coaches individuals as they write their first book or their second or their third or whatever. My co-host, that laughter you heard comes from my co-host Stone Payton, a vital cog at Business Radio X. You like me to remind you of that every week, right?

I am getting a tag made that says vital cog on it.

I think it's important. Hey, you have an appearance on Monday somewhere, don't you?

I do. Monica Pearson and I are emceeing the 101 Best and Brightest award ceremony down at Marriott Century Center, I think it is, and I'm going to be up on the podium doing a thing with Monica. Bernie Woolford, one of our managing partners, is going to be handing out awards. Lee's going to be at the table eating like he always is.

And he's the fat guy on the doctor—

on the Dr. Fitness and the Fat Guy.

There we go.

Okay, you know, we're really looking forward to that. That's going to be a blast. I don't know if they need me to wear a suit or a— I don't have a suit. You're in trouble.

You need to see the Dr. Fitness 2 then.

Right, but that's going to be fun. We're really looking forward to that.

Well, that's exciting. Yeah. You know, one of the conversations you and I have had frequently and with our guests is people want to know the demographics of our show. And of course, with internet radio, it is really hard to track demographics. What we do know are downloads, right?

Oh yeah, we can tell you how many, we just don't know who.

Yeah, well, I want you to know that I know some people are listening today.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, because some of my friends said, "Tim, we're listening this morning." So I want to take some personal time and just say hello to some of our listeners. Sharon Murnane is a wellness practitioner in San Diego, California. Bill Grabill is an author, counselor, and pastor in Albany, Oregon, and he's also a client. I've helped him with his writing. Yes, Bill, we like that. And Ginny Mo is a friend from college, and she does exquisite quilts by hand. And she lives in Bayhead, New Jersey. So I know for a fact that Right Here Right Now is going across the nation as we speak.

That's terrific. That's got to feel good, man. You got somebody in every corner of the world, it sounds like.

It does feel good. Now if I could just get my wife to listen sometime. But she says something about I'm at work.

My wife won't read my book or listen to my show. And she doesn't think I'm particularly funny. Everybody else thinks I'm funny. Holly doesn't think I'm funny.

We won't go there. But let's get focused. I've enjoyed this, but let's, you know, business clients of mine, business people or clients of mine are challenged by writing just one book. And our guest today has a book series in mind. In fact, as we were talking before we got started, she said something about 56 titles. That even scares me.

Wow.

What we want to do, we're going to look at the thought processes that moves a writer from no book to one book to maybe 56. And our guest is Bernadette Boas. She's a regular on Business Radio X, and I'm just honored that she would come and be on the newbie guy's show.

She's like Paul Lynde on the Hollywood Squares. She's there every week, right?

She's there.

Are you old enough to remember that? The Hollywood Squares?

Yes, I am. Yes, I remember that. I didn't want to go there, but I remember that. Yes. So we're going to go beyond the usual book writing theme in our conversation today. And the other thing that I find fascinating is that Bernadette started out in the corporate world. Now she's solidly into entrepreneurship and having fun.

I am having a blast. When I get a good night's sleep, I'm having a really good time.

Okay, so where are we today? Did we sleep last night?

We did. We did. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good.

Well, you are the CEO and founder of Ball of Fire Incorporated, a media and publishing company, and you're the president of Boas Group, which is a business consultant. I am. And my mom told me I shouldn't use this kind of language, but— and she's dead and gone, but we are on air, but what the heck. Your book is Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting Your Bitches to Riches in Life and Business. You've got to be generating a lot of reaction with that?

Yes, that's a mild understatement. Okay. And it doesn't really matter where I am. It could be in an airport, it could be at the grocery store, it could be, you know, at a business meeting. Yes, it generates a lot of conversation.

And was that your first title?

That I came up with?

Yeah.

Oh yes, that came up with, or that came from a conversation I was having with someone.— it wasn't a thought-out title, like we have to come up with a title, what should it be? It literally was July of 2009, and I was having somewhat of an emotional breakdown.

Somewhat, as opposed to full-blown, huh?

Somewhat of an emotional breakdown. This lovely young lady and I, Cassie Parks, and I love mentioning it to her because she's the one who helped me kind of find this voice of mine. She and I were having a conversation out in Vegas during a very long, arduous, intense, stressful week at an entrepreneurial forum, and it was probably the 8th day we were there, and we were exhausted. So she sat at lunch and she was just having this conversation with me, and I'm not even paying attention to her. And she asked me a question, and I said, excuse me? And she's like, well, blah blah blah. And I said, you know, I'm just tired of talking. About, you know, me, the business I'm trying to develop. And unfortunately, I was kind of like snippy with her. So she's like, well, what would you like to talk about? And I said, well, I got something like choking me, like in my chest, that I need to say and I need to do, and I don't know what it is. She's like, well, where do you think it's coming from? So we start this dialogue and this conversation, and it took me back to in 2007, after a 25-year corporate career and working with this company for 12 years, I was let go.

Oh.

But in— and it was the Monday after Thanksgiving.

Oh, prime time.

Yeah, isn't it? And being a, you know, a manager and, you know, VP myself, unfortunately it happens. Well, in that conversation, which lasted about 2 and a half minutes with my boss, because literally when he was saying the words, "We have to talk," I know what those words mean.

You know.

I've delivered those words over and over and over again, unfortunately. And I said, "No, we don't." And I packed up my bags and I left.

Oh my.

Yes. Well, here I was, this global VP with a nice office and international travel and a very nice paycheck, and I found myself literally going back to my office, packing my bags, walking out of the building, turning around, looking at the building going, "I am never doing that again." And all of a sudden, as I said that and I thought through that, literally the shedding, you know, call it like the Wicked Witch of the West when she gets the water thrown on her, she's melting, I'm melting. That's how it was. This like 8,000-pound gorilla was being lifted from me and I didn't understand why I was actually laughing. So I'm explaining this to Cassie, I'm like, you know, I left there and then I spent time and what I realized, you know, a couple months later is it was because I was such a nasty person, I was such the bitch. In those years that all of a sudden I didn't need it anymore. All of a sudden I kind of like said, "Oh my God, I can let all that go." And I said, "And I hear I'm such a really nice, sweet, loving person, and yet I was so nasty." And here I was shedding the corporate bitch that I was, and I don't know how to kind of apologize for that or take accountability for that. She was like, "That would be a great book." Oh, I like that copy. And she's like— and I said, "What would be?" She goes, "Shedding the Corporate Bitch." 'Just what you just said.' And I was like, 'Ooh, you're right.' So that's how the title came about.

And you know what strikes me as a writing coach, you said this happened in 2007, correct? Yes. We're now at 2011 and the book is finally out.

Yeah, it didn't happen right away.

I know. Well, that's, see, that's what I want to lift up to our listeners. So many people, it seems, when they come to me, they think, 'Well, I'll start writing and 3 months from now I'll be holding the book in my hand.

Right.

Only if you're crazy.

Oh, well, only, yes, only if you're absolutely crazy, because I'm a pretty, pretty intense, productive, ambitious person. Yeah, the writing process caught me totally off guard.

Well, I want to run 3 questions by you. Sure. And you can decide how you want to answer them. One, what was the 4-year incubation period? Secondly, I know it's on Amazon. I was there yesterday reading the reviews. Where can the public get it? And I'll give you a chance to talk about that later on. And then how do you see this developing into a series?

Okay.

It's yours.

Let's tackle the first one. So the first one was— remind me again.

The first one was incubation.

Oh, incubation.

From idea to I'm holding the book. And I am holding the book in my hand.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are. When I— that conversation I had with Cassie in Las Vegas was a year and a half after I'd left corporate.

Okay.

So I didn't realize I had a book in me. I knew I had something to say. That's what that knot in my chest was. I didn't think I had a book. Now, I have been journaling since I was 10.

Oh my.

I carry a journal everywhere I go. I have one sitting right in front of me.

There it is, and you're even making notes in it, and I see my name in there.

Oh my. Don't look, don't look. At the same time, what I do is I'll just take notes about what's going on in my head, what's going on in my heart, what's, you know, going on around me. Have since I was 10, only simply because I always called it my free therapist. I just dumped in my journal whatever was going on so then I could just kind of get it out of my system and move on. I never read them until I decided to write this book. So here, a year and a half later, I find this book concept. But it was 6 months later when I actually started writing it.

Wow.

For a few reasons. One was I wanted to kind of see if this was something that, you know, people wanted to hear about. But at the same time, I'll have to say, I was kind of stuck in the writing process in that I wasn't educated as to how to write. I journaled. That doesn't have anything to do with actually compiling that journal of notes into a book.

That's right.

That's right. Which obviously, you know.

And some people need to hear that. You don't just take a journal and make a book out of it. You take elements of the journal to make a book.

And more importantly, what I needed to get my head around was what was the structure, what was the approach people took to writing books. So actually, I threw myself into educating myself, went to a couple conferences about writing, you know, engaged some, you know, writing coaches to give me, you know, what their feedback was. And then I— my house— I then kind of plastered my house. I took all my paintings down and I plastered my house in big white Post-it note paper. And then I just— and I got a book proposal. I went online and started Googling, okay, so what does a book proposal look like? What is a query letter look like? What are all the components of a book? People, whether it's a publisher, literary agent, or the reader, they need to see and hear and know about me, the author, plus the book. So then, so I just did a lot of homework and studying of what is the structure of a book and what elements of it do I need to have. And then what do I need to know before I even go write the book about what my reader wants from me. Because it's one thing for me to write the book, which I was going to do regardless because it was the apology to the roadkill I left in my life. That was the purpose.

You got a book in you, don't you, Stone?

Absolutely. That was the purpose of the book. Whether 5 people read it or 10,000 people read it, I was writing the book simply to apologize for all that time I was so cruel and so demeaning and so bitchy to people. Bitchy to people. And so, but I wanted to do it in a way that allowed me to kind of take full accountability and responsibility and get it out of my you know, system. So I needed that outline. And so I kind of drafted up on the wall of my house, you know, what was that approach I was going to take. Well, I was going to have to kind of go back in my childhood to determine kind of, you know, who, you know, what kind of kid was I? What was the source? And what were the elements? And then bring it to the future and talk about, okay, how did that all of a sudden transpire?

I've got to ask you. I've got to ask you. See, I wrote a book called Letters to My Sons: A Father's Faith Journey.

Nein!

And I mentioned my sister in it, and when she found out that I mentioned her in it, she said to me, "What did you say?" And I said, "Buy the book and find out." It was my payback for being the baby brother.

Yeah, I understand that.

How were your siblings as they heard that Bernadette was writing a book?

Well, one— well, first off, I have 11 brothers and sisters. Yeah, wow. So I have 6 brothers and 5 sisters. They didn't grasp it at first. Like, at first it was kind of like, okay, fine, she's writing a book. I mean, they see me all the time anyway doing crazy, nutty, adventurous, risky stuff. Writing a book was probably not a surprise to them in any way, shape, or form. Then as time went on and I started sending them requests for like photos and requests for insights, especially regarding my mother and my father. Like, I need your stories, I need your memories, I need your, you know, ideas on these things. Then they started saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this about? And of the 11, only one of them, and I won't name him by name because he knows who he is, —did he say to me, you know, immediately, "Are you writing about me? And if so, I want to know about it now." And I just simply said, one, it's none of your business. And two— and two, we have a very abnormal, undysfunctional family. Do we— did you get that?

You have a really normal family.

We have a really normal family. Yes, do we have dysfunction? Yes. But overall, I mean, they hang out together, they're best friends together, they all live in Philadelphia, I live here in Atlanta, and therefore there wasn't— we don't have ugly skeletons in the closet. So, and especially I left at 17. Oh my. So it's not like by the time I was 17 there was really ugly skeletons in the closet, and my parents, God bless my father, he passed away in 2005, and my mother's still alive. They raised 12 unbelievable kids. And they're two unbelievable people. And so there wasn't going to be anything, you know, anything racy or trashy. And at the same time, you can relate to this I'm sure, Tim. And then you can tell me to take a breath. But I get so excited talking about it. But at the same time, I did have a problem in the writing process in that I just thought I was writing a book and talking about how I was a bitch. I did not realize that I'd have to dig into my soul and dig into my past to the extent that I had to discover things about my childhood that then influenced my, my, my state of mind that made me decide to go down this path, which was a conscious decision, by the way, to become a bitch. Oh, we can get into that, but You know, it was— I didn't realize that I would have to kind of divulge those type of things about myself. But at the same time, I didn't think I'd have to talk about other people either. Not my family, but the influences in business, in my life that caused and perpetuated these.

And see, that's what I got into in writing Letters to My Sons, because I had to stop and figure out what were the significant people, what were the significant moments. And the thing that I always lift up to folks, whether they ask it or not, is that, you know, we were— my brother, sister, and I were raised by the same parents, same house, and we all turned out really— my brother's faith was wrapped around Alcoholics Anonymous because he needed that for his sanity and his dryness. My sister converted to Catholicism, and I became a Protestant minister and then walked away after 25 years, but you need to look at that. How did 3 people raised in— how did 12 kids raised in the same house come out the way they did? Right. And that's an important part to the writing process is looking at those pieces and figuring out what impacts us. So is your book out? I mean, yeah, I'm holding it, but how out is it, should we say?

It is out everywhere and anywhere you can get it other than in the stores. We have a publish date of August 1st for the stores. Okay. So we're doing everything we can right now to get, you know, the media attention, to get the community attention, the reader attention, in order to really substantiate the book and its brand for the August 1st launch date.

And you're doing serious marketing work on that?

We are doing serious marketing work to the extent of I have one product which is Bitch parties.

That. Nice. We gotta hear about this.

You and I were both going for coffee and she comes out with that.

We're choking.

This sounds like something a rapper would say. Yeah.

I'm gonna have a bitch party tonight. And well, about a year and a half ago, when I discovered the book Aidea, and it's a real long story and not for today, but we can talk about it another time, but I was I'm in a community, an entrepreneurial community, it's called CEO Space out in Vegas. We meet 5 times a year, roughly 700 people to 1,200 people, give or take. And in the evenings over this 3 to 10 day period, entrepreneurs will open their hotel rooms to kind of bring people in to hear their story, whether it's about a product, service, investment opportunity, and so forth and so on. I'm raising capital, I'm pitching a brand, I'm developing a business. And I needed a catch. I needed a hook to get people to come to my room versus everybody else's room. Sure. So I thought, well, let me, instead of everybody else just, you know, having water, I'm gonna have a party. And then I said, okay, so I'm gonna have a party. I'm gonna bring beer and wine. I'm gonna bring like hors d'oeuvres. And guess what? I'm gonna call it a bitch party. And then I'm gonna, you know, and then I kind of cleaned it up and said shit in the bitch party, but also bitch party. And so that little marketing tool then turned into people literally on Facebook and other places saying, wait, wait, wait, I want an invite. And so then, and they were willing to come just like a networking event and pay. And then we also run through some exercises, so there's a formal format to it. But when it came to them needing to launch the book, we said, well, why don't we leverage our bitch parties to be bitch party slash book signings slash, you know, support support, sure, training, so to speak, in one event. So we were doing that, and I had— I'm hiring a PR and media firm to help launch the book and the brand, because it's not just about a book. There's a whole business around it.

Talk about that, if you will. You know, I mentioned in the opening that you shared with me, you've got 56 titles. That doesn't necessarily mean you have 56 books, nor that you're going to write them, but talk about that idea of the series? What do you want to do with that?

Well, what happened was I immediately, knowing how important marketing was and branding was, from the very beginning, while it was even a concept, just a title, I started marketing it and I started telling my story, just like I did to Cassie Park that day. And yet people, especially out in Vegas, because it's such an easy— you kind of have a focus group of 800 people at your back and call, and literally people would come to my room or find me at dinner or just stop me in the hallways, and my name out there is bitch. So they would—

that goes with Bernadette Boas.

And people would come to me going, why do you like people calling you that? I'm like, because I'm not one, so it doesn't bother me. And I'm changing the definition anyway, so that's a whole other story. So anyway, so these people started coming to me in my room and And they started saying, "Well, Bernadette, I can relate so much to your story, but it has nothing to do with corporate or business. It has to do with my dealing with breast cancer or with going through menopause or raising kids or getting divorced or being single or be—" A woman came to me about, you know, "Are you writing a story or have an author to write a story about coming out of the closet?" She's gay. And I'm like— and I said to them, "What are you talking about? I mean, you know, I'm just writing about corporate, you know." And what it's transitioned to is, bitches in my world and in my vernacular means the angst and attitudes and fears and negative mindsets and belief systems and insecurities and feelings of unworthiness that people have about themselves. Okay, yeah. That are preventing them from living a rich, full life. That's powerful. I like that. So as they started bringing me their stories, people would come to me. I had this gentleman come to me, he said, "Do you have a ghostwriter for The Male Bitch?" And I said, "What do you mean?" He goes, "Well, we deal with a lot of junk in our heads and, you know, whatnot." I said, "Well, I can't write The Male Bitch. Look at me." You know? I said, "But you can license the title, the brand, to write your own book." And that's how that came about is I literally— that's how the 56 titles, they're not from me. Maybe single one is, and maybe the relationship one, but all the others are people coming to me with their own stories saying, I want to write this, I want to do this. And, and that's how we came up with the fact that I will, I will write a couple other books, not necessarily in this same title, because people are asking me now for the, okay, what's happened since. Okay. And we have a whole nother brand around that. But in this Shedding the Bitch series, there's right now 56 titles that we are pursuing authors to, to write their own story.

So you've gone from maybe a book someday to a book to a whole series to a brand to promoting to other books. Let me just guess that writing has had a major impact on your business.

And it has. It has. It has definitely. Anyone who really wants to— well, one, everyone has a voice. Let me back up and say everybody has a story. Mm-hmm. Yes. Everybody has a voice inside them, something that other people want to hear about, want to know about. That's the first kind of bitch they have to get over, is that they do have value in their life that other people want to know about. And so many people think they don't. Well, majority of people don't think they have a book inside them. And they do. So, yes. So, the book definitely lends credibility to your business, to your person, to your brand, to, you know, as content for what it is that you're doing. There's a huge benefit to a book. Yeah. Thank you.

I like that. Especially since I help people find that book inside them. You know, I tell people, "I'm there someday." when people say, "I think I'll write a book someday." Call me. Me, me. I'm it. I'll make it happen. Well, you said that the book is having its "outdooring," if you will, in August. You can tell I lived in Africa. That's what they used to call it. If I wanted a copy of it right now, what would I do?

They could go to sheddingthecorporatebitch.com, and it's there for sale, as well as Amazon and Barnes Noble. You can download it onto Kindle and Nooks. And so it's available ebook, it's available soft copy book, basically everywhere but the store. But the store.

And I think it's important for us to mention that we as authors really don't have any control about where they appear in bookstores. Right. That's really up to the bookseller-buyer of the region or the local store. Now we can beg, we can steal— no, we can't steal— we can beg, we can cry, We can stamp our feet, but— Well, you can influence it.

For instance, I was up at Book Expo America a couple weeks ago in New York. You can certainly influence it by marketing, getting a marketing platform. When you, you know, when people have books, the first thing you'll hear from a publisher or literary agent, "What's your marketing platform?" Absolutely. And, you know, I, like I said, I've been marketing this for a year and a half. I've been, you know, knowing that it's coming out one day, and yet, no, it's never too soon. Soon to start marketing it, to start promoting it and telling people about it. And that influences the booksellers. Like, I send literally weekly to my publisher marketing that I'm doing. I told them that I was coming here. I told my community and my network I was coming here. My own radio show, that's why I started that.

Well, talk— oh, thank you for that. I was going to say, talk to us about my competition.

Ah, no, no, no. There's no such thing. That's his competition. Didn't you say that earlier?

That's right. Serve your competitors and you won't have any.

That's right.

That's my motto. Well, only because Shading the Bitch is the radio show, of course. Of course it is. And it addresses every type of life issue, business issue, and challenge that people are having. And it's meant to empower and inspire individuals to kind of get out of their own way and pursue the goals and the dreams that they have. So, we were joking earlier, but I was quite serious. We have titles, Shedding the Writing Bitch, Writer's Block Bitch, we even have. Shedding the Publishing Bitch. Because all of those things are angst and attitudes and negative mindsets and belief systems that people have. I'm not a writer. I am a writer. The publishing process is— we'll leave it at that.

Yes, yes, yes, but I could read.

Yes, yes, yes. So, you know, so our radio show really covers just about anything and everything that people are basically asking me for through all the social networks. And I'm everywhere. All you have to do is Google Bernadette Boas or Google Shedding the Bitch and you'll find—

Well, let me ask you this. Have you regained who you once were? Have you been able to shed the bitch?

Oh gosh, totally. That was my writer's block is I wasn't able to go back to that person because I didn't want to. And so I was having a very difficult time reenacting, recreating those situations because I just didn't want to. So my editor would have to bang at me on a regular occasion to kind of say, just do it. And then the journals came in tremendously handy because, like I said, I dump everything in notes. So yes, I am— I am— I Well, let me just tell you this real quick too. At the very last minute before I was submitting it to the publisher, I came up with a last chapter I wanted to write because I started running into people I used to work with. Mm-hmm. About a year and a half after I left. And I was literally asked if I had a facelift. Is that right? They didn't even recognize me. I ran into my ex-boss about a month and a half ago in a parking lot. He didn't even recognize me 10 feet away. I just, you know, when you get rid of all that junk in your head that's kind of gnawing at you and just keeping you unhappy and depressed and repressed, and it's amazing how your whole body, soul, spirit, everything changes. And yes, I'm even that much better than I was when I was 10 or 15, and I was a pretty, pretty sassy little girl.

You are struggling with words right now. Let me say, I can say amen to that though. Well, no, it's the truth. After I left ministry and people saw me 2 or 3 years later, whole different countenance, whole different energy, and it was great. You know what has happened? The clock is on us again, but before I bring us to a close, you've told us how we can find your book, but you are more than just— book. If people want to talk to you about your consulting work, about all that other stuff you do, what's the best way to be in touch with you?

The best way is they can certainly find me on LinkedIn because I do, do a lot of corporate coaching now, as you can imagine. Not even that, but public speaking and leadership development work. At the same time, they can find me at sheddingthebitch.com. Okay. They can find me at Where else would they find me? Pretty much sheddingthebitch.com is the best place. They can email me at Bernadette Boas at sheddingthebitch.com. Okay. I have my phone numbers out there, and yeah, Google me. You'll— you can't miss me.

You do. I did that, and you do come up. Yes, you do. Well, thank you so much for being with us today. Thank you. I welcome comments and suggestions from our listeners about the content. Content and about our guests. If you would like to recommend a guest or would like to be a guest yourself on Right Here Right Now, please let me know. And you can do that by sending me an email. Write, that's spelled