RICH Tips for Discovering, Confronting and Shedding Bitches and Shifting to Riches

Welcome everyone to Shift to Riches program. This is Bernadette Boas and I appreciate you joining us. And today we're going to be talking about how you can shift all of your angst attitudes, negative mindsets and belief systems from all of that frustration and concern and just overall, it's— I'm lost for words. But we— what we want to do is we want you to confront them and shed them and really allow you to focus on what you can do in order to realize the dreams and the goals that you have for yourself personally, professionally, spiritually, or in any aspect of your life. To get started, I want to also welcome you to chat with us in the chat room within the GoToWebinar console, and I'd be taking your clack— your questions throughout the discussion, and then we can really dive into what you can do in a very short period of time to have the greatest impact on your life. So let's get started. Again, to introduce myself, my name is Bernadette Boas, and I have spent 25 years in the corporate American environment at all levels of management where I actually have been able to observe and learn and actually act upon all the different challenges and strategies and pressures that come with being in a managerial type of role. And what that means to you is I've been there and done that and can certainly help with any of those professional frustrations or angst or concerns that you have about how you can fully optimize and leverage your professional goals and aspirations that you have for yourself. I spent a good amount of time working with large organizations such as Walmart and Target and Office Depot and The Limited and definitely have an idea of what it takes to service clients no matter how big or how small. And then I've also ventured out on my own over the last 3 years and started up 2 businesses, one being The Boas Group, which is a business coaching and consulting practice, and then the other being Ball of Fire Inc., which is who is sponsoring and putting on this program for you today. And we are a media communications and publishing company that have some mega brands behind us, one of which we'll talk about today, Shedding the Bitch. And we'll go into that in a little bit more detail. But some of my other areas of expertise as to why I am presenting to you today is I am a coach, I'm an author, I'm a speaker, I have a radio show, Shedding the Bitch, you can check that out on BlogTalkRadio, as well as I just published my first book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch, which is all about what we're going to talk about today, how to really discover, confront, and shed those angst attitudes, fears, negative mindsets or insecurities so we can live fearlessly and pursue the goals and the dreams that we have for ourselves. What I really love about what I do, and I have always been a coach, a mentor since I was probably in my teens, since I have 11 brothers and sisters and now a lot of nieces and nephews, but more importantly, what it's taught me is to always help to to pay it forward and to teach other people the things that I learned from whatever teacher, coach, or mentor that I might be engaging with, whether it's directly with my own business coach Joan, or it's indirectly with my accountability partners that I have, Nancy and Cindy and Adrian, and you know who you are. But more importantly, even those that I kind of look up to or aspire to. Such as those that I read and talk about, whether it's Les Brown, Wayne Dyer, I'm reading Napoleon Hill at the moment, and a slew of the other personal growth and professional development type of experts in the world. And of course, what they also advocate is this idea of paying for teaching someone else. So I'm going to challenge you as well today to learn and, and really kind of apply what we're going to talk about, but then take it forward and teach somebody else, even if it's one person, and let them now benefit from your knowledge and your expertise that you've gained, even if it's a small little sliver of a new, you know, knowledge tidbit that you've, you heard today. And pay it forward. And, and if you do, I'd love to hear about it. Therefore, feel free to reach out to me, email me at BernadetteBoas@BallOfFireInc.com because I would love to hear how you're helping and learning and paying it forward as well. I also welcome you that throughout the webinar you can tweet and our hash mark is #ShiftToRiches if you choose to tweet and share with other people as well the little tips and nuggets that you're gaining as a result of this hour-long program. And of course, at any time, email me at BernadetteBoas@BallOfFireInc.com. As well, check us out at SheddingTheBitch.com where there's a lot of free resources, assessments. I actually just put up there an assessment of how you can discover what fears or angst or negative mindsets and belief systems that you are holding on to, preventing you from moving forward. So, I welcome you to check those out as well. But to get started, this is one of my favorite quotes, and I'll read it in a minute. But the reason why is a lot of times, a great deal of times, what people come to me for, or at least even just happen to mention to me as they're passing by, so to speak, is that they're really not sure of what their life purpose is or what their real dreams and goals are. And I have to admit, for a long time, I myself was kind of in that in that trap of knowing that I had something to say, had something to do, I had a purpose, I wasn't sure what exactly that was. And therefore, a lot of people are like that. A lot of people are unsure about what their life purpose is, and even more so, they're not acknowledging what their true dreams, goals, and passions are. And we'll talk about why that might be in a minute. So, this particular quote has always kind of touched a chord for me from Lou Holtz because it really does describe what a great deal of people go through on a day-in, day-out basis. And that is, quote unquote, 'Most people fail because they fail to understand what they are trying to do.' Again, that's 'Most people fail because they fail to understand what they are trying to do.' Again, that's from Lou Holtz, and it's one of my favorite because It's not meant to shame or penalize you for whether or not you are clear as to what your goals and your dreams and your passions are, but it's to make you aware that there is a possibility that you don't. And if you don't, there's never, never, never an endpoint to when you can take time and stop and try to figure it out. And that's what we're gonna really focus on today as we walk through this. We want you to fully understand what you're doing and where you're going. So that way, that clarity and that purpose is a driver and a motivator for you to, to not listen to the voices in your head unless they're telling you some good things. We definitely want you to pay attention to that. But those little voices or devils or inner critics that pop up on occasion, we want to stay aware of when they occur, because when we have clarity and focus on what our path is, then those little hiccups, those little interruptions of of our positivity and our clarity will be very short-lived. And that's what we want to work on is how do we recognize them and stay aware of them so then that way we can squash them as quickly as possible. So take this quote. I actually have it up on my wall in my office because I like to stay focused on it as well, that every once in a while I'm going to take a misstep or, you know, fail at doing something. And yet at the same time, it might be because I don't have clarity or focus on what it is that I should be doing, as opposed to what maybe a lot of other people are looking for me or for you to do, and therefore it's detracting from what our priorities and what our passions are. So, as we get started, what I want to introduce to you is this idea— I'm having some technical difficulties here at the moment. Let me just, I'm not sure why this does this. So, what I really want you to walk away with today from today's call is I want to provide you steps, even small steps. Actually, I'm going to give you one call to action that has a sub-level, but one call to action, but provide you small steps that you could be taking to really achieve the riches that you want in life. No matter how big or how small those are. And then I want to motivate you to take that first step. So I'm gonna actually, you know, set a time, a date, and a deadline as to when you can take that first step. And keep in mind, those little first steps will result in great achievement and success and motivation for you to take even bigger steps. So I want to help you with that. And then I invite you to also then participate with me on a Shift Program that I have for those of you who are looking to really take what you're gonna learn today and start executing it and living it and being accountable to it, and also just to get ongoing guidance as to how you can do that. I apologize, my laptop doesn't seem to want to move my slides forward. So what is it that is at the core of what it is that we're talking about, shifting to riches? I have always believed that as long as you had the skills and the talents, that you'd be able to do anything. That's how I lived for a very long period of time, especially from a Corporate America perspective, uh, or from just an overall business perspective. You know, they really focus on the skills and the talents. Very little time is spent on kind of the foundation, the mindset, the belief systems, the confidence, the self-esteem that someone's bringing to those skills and those talents. And yet what I have learned and what many of my clients and many of the people that have come to me and will, you know, ask me about is the fact that they have all the skills and the talents in the world and yet they're still not achieving how they define success. And I struggled with that as well. I was very successful in a lot of areas. A lot of my clients are very successful in a lot of areas, but when they really look at their definition of success, and it's both personally and professionally, then they just feel that there's something missing and there's something that they're not bringing to the table that rounds out that— their ability to achieve that success. And what I've come to realize over the last several years in not only writing my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch, or helping with my clients, or just out there talking with people, is before you can apply the skills and talents to really reap the rewards or riches that you're looking for, you first need to have an empowered mindset. You first need to walk in clarity and confidence with, you know, your head up and your shoulders back and your chest out, as my father used to say, and really be certain about what it is that you're trying to achieve. And therefore, here at Bola Fire Inc. and within the Shedding the Bitch program, which we'll talk about in a minute, we're really focused on challenging that paradigm that all you need are the skills and talents. What actually you do need first and what you need to focus on first, and that's what we're gonna talk about today, is finding that empowered mindset. We all have it, and yet some of us are suppressing it while others are really maximizing on it. And what I want to help you with is how to maximize on it. So that is kind of the core of what this Shift to Riches program is really about, is ensuring that you first have the confidence and the boldness and fearlessness to really go after what it is that you're trying to achieve. But I first needed to explain and describe what I mean when I say shedding the bitch or shifting your bitch to rich, because I certainly don't mean to offend or to really catch anybody off guard as a result of that. But what I have come to learn over the last 3 years, become aware of actually, is we all have these fears and critics and negative belief systems and issues with anger or angst and just overall bad attitudes. And that is what I refer to as bitches. Those are the things that are really kind of clogging your heart and soul and preventing you from realizing your goals and your dreams. And therefore, shedding the bitch really is working toward getting you to discover, confront, and shed them so you can then create and accelerate the life that you want. So, if you take offense to that word, I apologize. I'm actually working to, through this movement, I'm working to change the current definition to being such a negative sting on somebody or somebody's person to being just what's internal, what that junk in the head is, so to speak. And therefore, that's, you know, if you hear me say shifting from bitch to rich or what are your bitches that you're dealing with, that's what I'm referring to. Not necessarily the person next door, the person at work, or whatever the case might be. So now that we have that grounded as to the fact that we want to work on your mindset first, and then, you know, you can optimize and leverage the skill sets, I'll go into it a little bit deeper as to what this whole methodology is that you can then adopt for yourself to really stay aware and stay focused on how you can achieve whatever it is that you've defined for yourself. So if we have mindset and skill set and we believe that yes, you have to have a mindset first and a strong, confident, fearless one, not to say that you're gonna overcome every fear in your life, you might, you might work toward that pure self-actualization, but I like to start small. So whatever those little, you know, devils or inner voices in your head, belief systems that you have that are detrimental versus positive. That's what we want to initially work on, and then we work on, uh, the skill set that you need in order to really optimize the, the mindset that you have and the desires and passions and dreams that you have for yourself, your family, and those around you. So, excuse me, what I also have found is that once someone has really focused on themselves and spent time working inwardly on themselves, like even I did. Or just earlier on my radio show, Shedding the Bitch, Nancy Jamison spoke about her own journey and transformation from really not liking herself— actually, she used the word hated herself— going through a process and a journey of awareness and confrontation, I guess, with those bitches, so to speak, and coming out on the other side and really being able to create a new life, a new confidence, a new belief system for herself that's allowing her to achieve things that she never even imagined, you know, 6 years ago, let alone even just a year ago. So our whole methodology here at Ball of Fire Inc. and within the Shedding the Bitch program is to really help you Discover and be truthful with yourself about what is it that you're hung up, hung up about. I'll keep it that simple. And then once you really become aware of it, what can you do to confront it? And confronting what it is that might be holding you back is not as easy as just saying, okay, now I am aware that I'm insecure about standing up in public and public speaking, or I'm insecure about going out and networking, or meeting a man or, you know, whatever the case might be. It's really not only acknowledging it but dealing with it, facing it, doing whatever you need to physically, literally, spiritually in order to really kind of push through that fear and that angst or attitude or negative mindset and overcome it. So confronting is an area that we'll focus on as we go forward as well, though today will be around the discovering. And then once you confront something, you know, what happens? I mean, you can look at it, you know, very literally from a business position, or maybe there's an issue at home that once you deal with it, you can then work to overcome it and you feel a little bit more in control once you've once you've confronted it, and then you can find the solutions to the problem that you have and shed it. And then of course, what most people really don't pay attention to, and yet it's probably one of the biggest things that create that block for people, is when you go through this journey and through this process focusing on you and going inward to change those things about you that you want to to be different in order to achieve the goals and the dreams you have for yourself, there's always change that's going to come along with that. You're never going to be that same person no matter how big or small of a change you made. You're not that person that you were, you know, 5 minutes ago when you held on to that issue or that block that you had. And therefore, as you move forward through this methodology or through this process, you'll then create whatever that new person is, whatever that new career is, whatever that new hobby or passion is, you, you, there's something that's going to be created as a result of that change. And of course, we all know that as difficult as change is for every, for anyone, it is actually so exhilarating and motivating and beneficial to themselves and everyone else around them. So the Create Phase is a very impactful phase, and we'll talk about that in more detail. And then of course As you're kind of learning more about yourself and learning more about your strengths and what you're really good at and what you really excel at and/or what you might have the capability of learning but you don't have the skill or the talent yet, you can then accelerate obtaining and learning and acquiring those skills and those talents and those new passions for yourself. So The Shift2Rich program will take you over the next 4 to 6 weeks through this entire methodology of how you can discover, confront, shed all of those angst, attitudes, fears, and negative mindsets, insecurities, feelings of unworthiness, whatever the case might be. So then once you are able to shed them, you can create and accelerate what you really want in life. So, as you look at this formula, you'll also see that a good part of it at the beginning is all personal, it's all inward, it's all really getting to know who you are in order for you then to apply those mindsets and those belief systems that are now new and more empowered for you to then personally or professionally go after the skills and the talents that you've always wanted to have or you need in order to achieve your goals and your passions. So this whole process might take you, depending upon what the fear is or what the bitch is, so to speak, it could take you 5 minutes, it could take you 5 years. And even Nancy earlier had mentioned that she's been on this journey of her self-actualization for the last 5 or 6 years. And, you know, she has her ups and downs as every one of us do as we work toward improving ourselves to be the best person that we could be to the world that we, you know, that we live in and the people that we love and that we are surrounded by in our day-in, day-out life. So as we walk through this program, and if you come back each week and/or participate in an overall Shift to Riches program, you'll get the tools and the resources and the support that you need to help yourself go through this, this process as well. And you're never going to be alone, that's for sure, because I'll be right here along the way. And what my intention is and what our previous experience has been is we build a community of other people that are going through the same thing you are. Might not be the same issue or the same challenge that you're dealing with, but they can support you through the process because they're going through, through it as well, and/or they've been through it like myself. And I continue to go through it, but Nancy and whatnot. But here I'm gonna guide you and lead you through all of the things that I have been able to acquire and learn. And then on a daily basis, I'm getting individuals, men and women, approaching me or working with me through their own transformation. So I welcome you to also take advantage of this formula, take notes, and take away some tips and tricks that you can learn. And then again, keep in mind, we're, we're wanting to also pay forward. And so as you learn something, you can go forward and teach somebody else. And feel free, with anyone that has registered for this program and/or come and view it afterwards in the archives, you will also get all the materials and you'll see the materials, so therefore you can take that information and share it with anyone else that you feel could benefit from the same type of knowledge that you now have. So I look forward to hearing some comments and feedback in regards to what your experiences are as you go to pay forward and, and teach other people as well. So diving into the methodology, you'll see here that we have a real focus on the mindset. As we mentioned, getting your head right is critical before we can really get you to leverage and optimize the skills and the talents that you have or that you wanna have or you need to have in order to accomplish your goals. So, we're gonna really drill down into this whole area of mindset and then even more so focus on the discovery stage because until you discover what it is that is ex— uh, propelling you or what it is that's repressing you, you're not going to be able to go forward and really achieve the successes that you want. So looking at this area of mindset where we discover, confront, and shed, I have found that there are some very common themes that run throughout this stage of the process, and that is you have to be aware. You have to be aware of yourself. You have to be aware of other people around you, how they respond to you and react to you. You have to be aware of what triggers are out there that cause you to go inward and potentially, you know, have those inner voices and those little devils on your shoulder wreak havoc on your confidence, your self-esteem, your worthiness. So you always want to stay aware of those and there isn't a day that even as you go through the Create and Accelerate phases where you can kind of get laxed around that awareness because it doesn't matter, you know, how accomplished or how naive or novice you might be in something. That little voice inside your head is going to crop up and try to, you know, detour you. Sometimes it's for good reason, and sometimes we really need to pay attention to it because it might be, you know, a cautionary little voice inside your head. But other times it's just totally to sabotage you, and therefore we want to stay aware of that so we can ensure that that doesn't happen. Okay, so awareness is very key here. At the same time, I have learned over and over and over again, and it applies to me personally as well, is you have to be ready. You have to be ready to change. You have to be ready to feel. You have to be ready to receive. You have to be ready to, you know, just respond and react and overall move toward what it is that you want. So readiness is so key that we could spend a whole hour, actually several sessions on just making sure that you're doing the things that you need to do to get yourself ready. So what do I mean by that? So very simply what I would mean is, say for instance, I'm gonna touch on a coaching client I had yesterday. And I know she won't mind me bringing this up, and it's very generic and, you know, not a big issue on her part, so I'll use her as an example. So I'm talking to Kathy, and she has a fear of public speaking, okay? So she has an event coming up, and it's not for several weeks, but at the same time, I told her, "So what can you do today? What can you do as of this very moment?" to get yourself ready and prepare yourself to get up and do that public speaking. But it's not only about actually doing the task or the activity of speaking, it's actually what do you need to do to get ready to face that fear and push through it. So we chatted about that and she definitely did come up with, and we worked on a couple of solutions to her getting ready. But that's what I mean when I say get ready. You need to not only get ready in preparing yourself. For instance, when I— before I started this, started my own radio show or holding these webinars, I had to get myself psychologically ready, not only literally ready but psychologically ready to put myself out there and to, you know, start gabbing and talking about myself and disclosing a lot of things about myself. That I knew would help other people. And that's a scary proposition, and yet it was going to be so important in order to, in order to help other people that I was willing and ready to push through that fear of disclosing, you know, certain things about myself in order to benefit and help somebody else. So that's what I mean when I say you need to be ready. And then you need to make a decision. You need to make a decision to actually make a change or to actually put yourself out there or to work on discovering what it is that's hanging you up. So you have to be really decisive about whether or not it's a big step or small step you take that you are going to make a change and therefore you decide that yes, I'm ready today and now I just need to figure out what that first step is gonna be. And we're gonna, we're gonna help you do that, but decision is critical. And then of course certainty. And I will say that certainty is a common thread throughout this, this process and methodology as well. And yet you might not be as certain about much in the early stages, in the discovery stage. In the confrontation stage. Maybe you're certain about you want to change, and that's your certainty, and that might be all that it is. You're not certain how you're gonna get there, you're not certain of what it's gonna take, or whether or not you have the resources and the people around you to do it, but at least you're certain that something's gotta give, something's gotta change, and therefore you're willing to do it. So certainty is a key common thread. And then of course commitment, and we kinda touched on this, um, because it kind of touches close to decisiveness, but you need to be committed. And to elaborate on that, you're definitely going to have successes, but you're also going to have missteps. You're also going to have those hiccups, you know, that are going to come along and they're going to take you back a couple steps. And you work so hard to, you know, move forward those couple steps that you're going to get frustrated and you're going to get insecure and you're going to start doubting yourself as to whether or not you can accomplish whatever this, this initial step was that you set out for yourself. You need to be so— you need to be committed to the decision that you made, whatever that was, that you're willing to accept that there's going to be successes and there's going to be those hiccups and missteps, and just keep pushing yourself through them and more, and forward towards your goal and objective. Because you will get there if you have commitment and if you made the decision that you are ready to make this change, you will get there and it's just a matter of staying committed. So what I talk about a lot is, you know, many people will have in the past have put out programs when it came to dieting, you know, 6-month, 3-month programs. And yet, what do the gyms say out there? That by February 1st, everyone's New Year's resolutions, you know, to get into the gym and get fit have already died off. That's because they weren't committed. They did not make a decision that they were ready for a change and make a commitment to themselves to follow through on that change, and therefore they— I don't like to use the word failed— they had a misstep. And on February 2nd, they have an opportunity to adjust and to get back and to really make that commitment to themselves. So it's never too late, and you will have those missteps, and you will have those, you know, bumps in the road. And what you just need to do is push through them until, until they smooth out and you're moving, you know, very steadily along towards your goal and your objective. And of course, we can spend hours on this because it sounds so easy, but then it's what— it's the biggest hurdle people have is taking the action to do it. And I can't stress enough around how critical that is because you can make a decision, you could say that you're committed. I mean, quite honestly, I've done that more times than I'd like to think about over my lifetime, and I'm sure you have too. How many times did you say, okay, January 1st, I'm doing this, or over Lent I'm going to do this, and I'm going to, you know, lose weight, or give to charity, or I'm going to, you know, get up and work out an hour a day, or I'm going to walk my dog for 30 minutes, or I'm going to— whatever the case might be. And yet January 1st came along and There was absolutely no action toward that goal and that so-called commitment. And that's because, again, you can kind of tail it back and say, were you really committed? Did you really make a decision that you were certain of this change that you wanted to make and therefore you were going to take action on it? I would have to say you didn't. You weren't committed, though you made a good attempt, and now it's time to take another good attempt, but instead of just an attempt, it's a commitment to yourself of whatever this step is that you want to take toward your goal and your dream. So action is critical. And then a key component that I wouldn't rank it, you know, first or second to action because action is so critical. Without action, you can't really do anything, right? You don't need accountability if you're not going to take action. So accountability is probably the one little secret that delivers absolutely huge impacts to you and whatever goal and dream you have, is if you're willing to be accountable to yourself and/or to somebody else. So a lot of people out there will get accountability managers, accountability partners, whatever you might want to call them, coaches. That hold them accountable. And basically what that is, is if you make a commitment, say I made a commitment to lose 15 pounds in 90 days, and I have an accountability manager to help me lay out my plan as to how I'm gonna do that. But then more importantly, what they do is they challenge me each and every day, week, whatever your— whatever plan you come up with as to whether or not you did this took the steps that you said that you were going to take or executed the actions you laid out for yourself toward that goal and objective. And if not, then they're there to support you and motivate you, but also kind of give you that little kick in the butt to say, okay, so what's going on? What are the shadows saying? What are the inner critics or belief systems going on in your head that are preventing you from moving forward and taking those actions and keeping that commitment to yourself. Because guess what, everybody? It's about you. It's not about that accountability partner. It's not about the husband or the wife or the mother or father or anyone else in your life. It's about you. So what this really is all about is making a commitment to you that you want to live the life that you've always dreamed and desired and you can have. And it's just a matter of making that commitment to yourself that that's what you were going to do. So accountability is huge. And if you don't have someone that you fully trust, that you know is going to be unbiased and be very real and honest and upfront with you, then find them. And it doesn't have to be— and actually, I kind of advocate that it's not a husband or a wife, or it's not a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's not even a sibling. Unless you really know that they're gonna call you out and call on your bluff when you're not delivering on your own plan for yourself. Alright, so those are some things that kind of run seamlessly, or they, they're a common thread throughout the Discover, Confront, and Shed stage. But what I really want to do is focus and go even deeper when it comes to the Discover and Confront and Shed. And that really is— if we start with Discover, now keep in mind we're working inward, we're helping with the mindset. The goal is to get the mindset empowered in order for you to then leverage the skills and the talents that you have personally or professionally in order to really achieve and exceed whatever goals and objectives you have. So, in the discovery phase, however, that's, you know, obviously that's going to be your first step is, you know, what do I need to know about myself or what don't I know about myself that could be holding me back and continuously preventing me from really living the life that I want and therefore drilling into looking at discovering it really touches on being aware, being aware of what those things are. So for instance, I had another client of mine who I proposed that they kind of, you know, left their office, left their house, and they found a quiet place to really just, you know, go inward and really spend some time thinking about where they've been in their life so far and where they want to go. And then being very raw, very real, and very truthful with themselves as to what has worked for them so far and what might be holding them back. And let me tell you, you know, I'm making it sound really simple that you can all of a sudden disappear for an hour with a journal in your hand and all of a sudden discover all the things that you need to be aware of. You know, my own experience, even through the process of writing my book, which took 11 months of itself, I'm still discovering and becoming aware of things that influenced me for the first, you know, 40-some years of my life, that some of it's great, and yet some of it continues to hold me back from really achieving what I want in life. And I will tell you, I'm not, you know, 20/80 anymore. I'm more 80/20. Knowing, you know, 80% aware, but at the same time there's always that 20, and I'm working myself to that, you know, close to 100 self-actualization level that, you know, any of us would want for ourselves because we know what great benefit and value that's going to be to all the people and the contributions we can make, you know, to this world and to our life, and therefore It's always a journey and a process to stay aware of how you're responding and reacting and contributing and, and really just how you're walking through life and what positive and negatives, you know, you're putting out there in that life. So staying aware. At the same time, in order to really be aware, you're gonna have to You're gonna have to be willing to be very vulnerable, even just to yourself, let alone if you're working with a coach or mentor or accountability partner and having to be honest to them because you want to be honest to yourself. Again, this is all about you, so maintaining your own integrity to yourself and your, your commitment and to this decision that you made for yourself It means being very, very honest and truthful to you, but then it might mean to disclose that truth to someone else in order to really kind of gain the benefit and the value of having a support system around you. So for several of my clients, here I'm their coach, and yet they weren't wanting to disclose it to me. And at first I said, okay, As long as you're, you know, first really kind of being truthful and honest with yourself. So whether it's in a journal, on a tape recorder, writing it out in their laptop, but somehow getting it out of their head and getting it to where they can actually look at it and really absorb it. That's definitely, definitely the first step is being truthful with yourself. But then It does help tremendously and will expedite your journey, so to speak, having another party to really kind of divulge all of your inner secrets to. And really, at the same time, that objective is to help you and support you and motivate you and hold you accountable to what you're dealing with and what it is that you were looking to accomplish as a result. Of discovering and confronting those little inner devils that we all seem to have. So you need to be willing to cry, be willing to get mad, be willing to feel hurt and shamed maybe, or worthless. But at the same time, it's never about beating yourself up or being shameful. You want to— you might feel those things, but the purpose of you Being aware of that feeling and that emotion is for you to then confront it and shed it because you don't deserve to feel unworthy or insecure or shameful or disrespectful or any of the other negative things that we tend to, you know, kind of let seep into our minds and our psyche. And it definitely wreaks havoc on us, whether it's in small ways or very dramatic tragic ways. Another thing is the whole idea of being truthful to yourself. Nancy and I were talking earlier how, you know, she lived with a mask for a really long time. And of course, you know, I've talked about my Shedding the Corporate Bitch book in the past, and that's all that it's about, is the mask that I wore for a really long time. And therefore, it was critical for me to be aware or become aware of that mask, be vulnerable to admitting why that mask was, was being worn and what purpose it served me at the time, but then being very, very honest with myself about what negative results, what detriment, what backlash did it have not only on me but on the people around me, my relationships, my career, and all those other aspects. And Nancy was saying the same thing. She finally got to a point where she saw that those things that she was keeping inside her and her insecurities and her negative belief systems were impacting everything in her life. And therefore, until she was really honest with herself about that hate that she mentioned, was she really able to then kind of confront it and shed it and move away from it. So you have to be willing not only to be vulnerable, but to be honest with yourself and not wear those masks and not say things to your accountability partner or to your spouse or your partner or your friend or to your manager because it's what they want to hear. It needs to be because it's your truth and it's your values and it's in your integrity. For who you are, not for what anybody around you might want you to be, because that only does harm to yourself. It certainly doesn't hurt them, but it does harm to yourself. So you want to be, you know, open— or I'm sorry, you want to be honest with yourself as to what it is that might be holding you back. And then of course you need to be open. And when I say open, I also mean the changes are going to come, the pains are going to come, the feelings and the emotions and the transformation is going to come. And therefore you need to remain open about those things happening and be willing to receive. And we talk about that as we even get into confronting and shedding. You'll be drastically surprised that once you are vulnerable and honest and open with people, the floodgates of receiving and support and motivation and love are just going to come flooding through. And you need to be completely open to receiving it and not guarded and not fearful or protective or distrusting. And again, none of these things— the awareness, the vulnerability, the self-truth the opening— openness is going to come in a flash. Like all of a sudden, one minute you're kind of guarded and you're fearful and you don't take risks and you're insecure, and the next minute, just because you've spent some time, you know, writing things out on a piece of paper, it's not going to all of a sudden magically go away. Yet at the same time, you take those small steps to becoming aware of them and to being vulnerable and open and to what those new realizations bring to you, you will then really reap the reward and the benefit of being able to kind of confront and shed them and therefore create and accelerate a whole new person, a new life for yourself, which brings its own new kind of stages of this, of this roller coaster ride of emotions and adjustments and change. At the same time, at the end of it, it's all hugely beneficial to you achieving whatever it is in life that you want to achieve and whatever goals and passions that you've always had for yourself and for the people around you. So I would, you know, continue to stress to push your way through that and to make it as beneficial and as as real as it can be for yourself. Okay, and then of course in the confront and shed, you kind of go through some of those same emotions as you go through that new stage. And again, this isn't linear. It's not, you know, from step 1, step 2, step 3, step 4. It's iterative. You know, as you're discovering and moving into confront, you're gonna then, you know, need to be more aware, and you're gonna have to continue to be vulnerable, and new truths are gonna come up, and you need to reevaluate your readiness and your boldness to go after making those changes. So it's not as if it's, you know, day 1, day 2, day 3, these things, you know, go in a straight line. You're gonna find that they're gonna be cyclical or iterative in that you revisit certain feelings and emotions and adjustments over and over and over again. And all I will stress to you is if you have made the decision, you're determined, and you're committed to realizing the riches in life that you want, then you'll keep pushing, pushing, pushing through all of that and be willing to then kind of even add to some of those those emotions and those adjustments, such as, you know, the persistence then comes in to where in order to confront the little demons in your head, you need to really be persistent to squash them out. Or I kind of relate my transformation to the Wicked Witch of the West who melted, I'm melting, and that's kind of a feeling you're going to go through is whether it's shedding or melting or releasing, you're gonna be letting go of some things, and then new feelings and emotions are gonna come, come in. And some of those new emotions and feelings are gonna again be little sabotagers as much as they're gonna be motivators. So you just constantly need to stay aware and alert and open and ready to make the changes that you want for yourself. And then as you go to face yourself in the mirror and confront, confront those things, and you decide, okay, once and for all, I don't want anything to do with them and I need to get rid of them— like I said, whether it's shedding or melting away or releasing— you then really become kind of bold and empowered, feeling empowered to take risks, take chances, and and put yourself out there to make a change regardless of the consequence. And there will be consequences. And what I mean by that is Nancy and I talked earlier about as you change, the people around you will change. Maybe not themselves, but your, your view of them, your perception of them, the reality of them. And therefore you might find that the people you have, the job that you have, the environment that you're in today is no longer suitable or no longer working for you. That was her terms. It wasn't working for her any longer. Kathy, it wasn't working for her to have that fear of public speaking because it was going to be critical to her career and therefore she needed to push, push through it. So as you move into the shedding or releasing those fears and angst attitudes and negative mindsets, you really need to then, you know, have that confidence and that boldness and take the risk to make those changes. But at this point, you, you'll be amazed. It'll be overwhelming to you that you will have that, that confidence and that feeling of security and willingness and determination and clarity and focus to make the changes that are needed. So again, we kind of blushed over the confront and shed because right now what you need to focus on, because if you're on this, on this call listening to this program, participating in the shift programs that I have, it's because you want something different. You want something more. You want to really know what what it's like to live a rich life. And rich isn't about money, it's about contentment, peace, confidence, empowerment, control, love, happiness, all of those things. And of course it could be the fact that you want, you know, a great career and a big house and a nice bank account. None of those things are bad, yet they have to come because of The fact that you've got the clarity and the certainty and the decisiveness and the commitment to live your life as real and truthful as you can and be the person that you are meant to be, that you are, and that you want to be. So really what I'd like you to do, you know, as your first step is focus in that discovery phase. And I just earlier put up on my website a discovery assessment. And if you are serious in the slightest, even if you're not serious, let's back that up. Even if you're not serious but you just want to put your toe in the water and, and feel what it's like to take these little steps toward, you know, your happiness and your riches, then, then I welcome you to go to sheddingthebitch.com. You'll you'll find on the homepage, if you scroll down a little bit, you'll find a free discovery assessment. And feel free to download that and take that assessment and really be, you know, start the process of discovering what it is that you want for yourself in this very, you know, short, fast-paced life that we have. And I always tend to talk about on my radio show that we only have one life and it goes very fast, and so we don't want to waste any more time, you know, as we go forward not having and not living the life that we want. So I welcome you and I challenge you to take that first step. Go to sheddingthebitch.com, download the discovery assessment. I'm even kind of challenging you to take it and by May 6th at 11:59 AM and— or I'm sorry, 11:59 PM, which basically would be midnight on May 6th, and then email me your, your assessment. And trust me, you know, anything that you say or do or share with me is kept in confidence. And all I'm trying to do is to help you, motivate you, and hold you accountable to taking a first step to realizing all the things you want in life, because they can be yours, but you need to act now. And take the first step. And if you do, you can email back to me at BernadetteBoas@BallOfFireInc.com, and I will shoot you a note back confirming that I've received it, that I've reviewed it, and there's no grades here. I am going to send you back a letter grade of A, but that's merely like a little star saying that you've completed this first step. You take this first step, and I can guarantee you, you're going to take a second step and a third step and a fourth step. Step. And that's what I really am dedicated and determined to help you do. Then from there, what I invite you to do is, first off, come back to the future webinars. We have webinars over the next, you know, 4 to 6 weeks all around the methodology, helping you to discover, confront, shed, create, and accelerate. And then at the same time, I'll be only accepting 10 clients to come into a Shift Program, Shift to Riches Group Program, where we will, in parallel with those webinars, we will be working on, you know, ensuring you have a discovery, you know, plan to work you through that process. And then I'll be there to motivate you and support you as well as the rest of the group of 9 at that point would be there for you. Then we'll work on toward Helping you then get to your confront plan. What, what steps do you need to take now that you are totally aware and you've been vulnerable and open to discovering what it is that you want in life and what it is that you are missing in your life maybe and what has been holding you back. And then we can work on what the next phase is around the confronting those those fears, angst, and attitudes so you can then move forward and shed, create, and accelerate. So by the end of this program, you would also have a confrontation plan, so to speak, as to what you would do next. So I welcome you to go to sheddingthebitch.com and check out the programs. You'll have to page down because I have some of the webinars listed out there, and make sure you register for each one of them. Because if you can't join live, they're all recorded and they'll be made available on the website just like last week's was. And therefore you can go back at any time and listen to them and, you know, catch up or start or, you know, meet us in any phase of the program that we're at. So sheddingthebitch.com, scroll down a bit, check out the webinars, and then you'll also find an area to sign up for the the group program as well as there is an area for individual coaching as well. However, I literally am only taking like 1 or 2 clients in that space, so those seats will be filling up fast. But the group of 10, and I like to focus 10 so I can make sure that I can really give them, each of them, the time and the attention that they deserve. So I will limit it to 10. And I will only be taking one group, so I won't be taking on additional groups. This one group of 10 will be it. And then lastly, I just wanted to, in the last few minutes, kind of provide you some additional tips. If you don't have a journal, you don't have a legal pad that's empty, then go find something that you can not only take notes as you listen to these programs, But you also can kind of dump out of your head what a friend of mine, Scott Goodnight, calls dump the cup, you know, as you work through your discovery phase and then your confrontation shedding and create and accelerate. Buy a journal and, you know, and use that as a means of really kind of getting out of your head what might be kind of clogging, clogging it and what I call junk in the head. And then, you know, daily journal. When things come up, good or bad, write them down because once we see things in writing, it's amazing how kind of we sometimes look at them and go, "Really? Really? I was stressed out and worked up and all kind of, you know, in a wad because of that?" So writing things out, good or negative, will really bring some clarity and focus into what you're feeling and how you're responding to those emotions. And then of course, if you're one for affirmations, or prayers or, you know, just, you know, a statement that you like to repeat to yourself over and over and over again that keep you grounded, then I welcome you to also take away a bonus tip today of having those affirmations, coming up with one or two of them that you can, you know, say to yourself when that little inner voice creeps up into your head. You can squash it down with a good affirmation. And it's personal to you, so I won't share mine, but I have 4 or 5 of them that I say each and every day, morning and night, and then throughout the day when I need to get grounded around something. I'm going to take a look, and I'm having a little dilemma with the console, but I'm going to take a look and see if there's any questions from anyone. And if you do, you can raise your hand, you can chat, or you can pose a question out. And I'd be more than happy to take it in the last few minutes that we have. But I do welcome you to go to sheddingthebitch.com. You'll find a lot more information about the programs, about the services, about resources. I have actually a number of white papers and assessments throughout my website that you can always take advantage of. And then at the same time, you can check out my book. Shedding the Corporate Bitch. You can check out the stories that are being submitted, or you can submit your own story. And then our blogs are full of comments and good conversation, so to speak. And I would love to hear your comments, good or indifferent, regarding this program or any other program that you might have participated on with me or within the Shedding the Bitch program. But I want to thank you for joining us today, and all I ask is that you really do take time for yourself to really kind of become aware and discover what it is you really want out of life, and then just go after it with all the gusto that, that you probably have bottled up inside of you. And live the life that you're meant to live. So this is Bernadette Boas with Shedding the Bitch within our Shift to Riches program, and I welcome you back next Tuesday at the same time, 1 PM, to continue this journey of discovering, confronting, and shedding those angst and attitudes, or what we call bitches, in order for you to create and accelerate the life you deserve. So thank you very much, everybody, and we'll talk real soon.