RICH Tips on Liking, Knowing and Trusting YOU on Shedding the Bitch Radio

Well, hello everyone on this beautiful Tuesday afternoon or evening or morning or wherever you are in the world. And I know that in Atlanta, Georgia, it is hot and steamy. I mean, it really is. If you could actually see my office recording studio, whatever you might want to call it, I actually have every blind shut because it is so hot outside and it just makes this room unbearable. So I literally have every window shutter, blind, whatever you might call it, shut to keep the steam out, but yet keep the excitement in, if you understand what I mean. I'm Bernadette Boas and I'm so excited to be here. It is a great, a great Tuesday and I have come off of a great week which we'll talk about in a second. But a couple of things before we get started because I logged on and I see that Skype, which is what we use to dial in for the radio show, it seems as if the radio station is having a little bit of technical issues with Skype. Skype. So hopefully I won't lose you over the next 27 minutes that we have left on the call, uh, and if I do, then I have my handy-dandy mobile telephone. Thank God for, uh, cell phones, and I'll call right back in. So just you sit tight if anything should happen. But again, um, they gave you the number. I would love for you to call in, chat, ask me questions, just say hello, whatever the case might be. So that number is 1-818-572-2910. Again, 818-572-2910. You can also log on to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch and chat with me as well. There's a chat function if you want to stay kind of disguised and hidden, but keep in mind, this whole show is about shedding all those masks and those invisibilities so you can kind of pursue all the riches in life that you so desire. And I had one other thing I wanted to tell you. Oh, and then also join in today at 1 o'clock. Every Tuesday after our radio show at 1 PM Eastern Time, we then go into a webinar series— complimentary, free, educational, full of tips and advice. For helping you to discover, confront, and shed your bitches so you can go and create and accelerate the riches in your life. So today you just have me, but over the next several weeks you're gonna have some very inspiring and educational guests such as Gregg Reid and Jennifer Whitaker and Dawn Baines and, uh, let's see, we have Rico Pena and a number of other individuals who are gonna come on and share their stories, share their tips and advice and inspirations. And help you with whatever's getting in your way of living the life that you wanna live. So, stay tuned as we go forward as well. But jumping into today, let's see, I definitely had a great week. Though it has been 90+ in Atlanta for the last week or so, my flowers are dying, my grass is dying, and my water bill is just going up and up and up. Trying to keep them alive. And hopefully it's not as steamy where you are, and hopefully not as stormy either, because I know the world has been experiencing a lot of different Mother Nature inflictions. And I hope everybody is safe and sound and all that kind of good stuff out there. I do want to have— I do want to shout out to the women of WomTech's Château Elan Charter Group. It's a group up in Château Elan, Atlanta, Georgia, and WomTech is a women's organization who's all focused on helping each other earn commissions, revenue, income, whatever you define it to be. And they had me there as a guest last Friday to speak to them just briefly about something, to educate and inform and inspire them, and we talked about, um, some tips about how people can work on themselves so other people will know, like, and trust them. So as you know, especially if you're in the business world, uh, and I know entrepreneurs focus on this, um, even more so— I would— that's my opinion than others— but, uh, people want to do business with people they like, know, and trust. And yet, not all of us are projecting the things that are needed to demonstrate and to show their authenticity and their realness in being liked, known, and trusted. So, we just kinda touched on some tips in that regard and I'm gonna share them with you because it's gonna segue into a little bit of a tit-to-tat that I had with someone. On LinkedIn actually, and I love LinkedIn, and if you don't use it as a way to build your expertise and to build your network and to build your visibility and your brand, then I strongly suggest that you do so, and feel free to link in with me, Bernadette Boas. However, sometimes it definitely kind of shows people's stripes, the things that they share or discuss or the streams of, um, of dialogue that they initiate on LinkedIn or anywhere. So I'll bring— I'll come back to that in a minute, but I first want to touch on what the women of WOMTech and Ginny Bishop— I do need a shout out to Ginny, she's the woman who heads it up— and it turns out that WOMTech is a national organization, and Ginny only having this group for I would say a few months. I want to know, maybe she— I think she said she was going on a year of having that group. She's now like the number one group in the nation for that, for WomTech, and that's quite impressive. But she has a very good— not only group of women, they were all very, you know, very entertaining, very open, and very collaborative and supportive in what each other were doing. But more importantly, Ginny really holds a very good integrated collaborative social business generating format to her meetings, and it was quite impressive. And it was no surprise that on a Friday afternoon, the week of, you know, Memorial Day and summer and all that kind of good stuff, she had 30+ people there. So that made my job easier too, because then I had a nice group of people to to educate, inform, and inspire. So we talked about what you could do, what tips you can do around knowing, liking, and trusting people. So if you have yourself any tips about what you do within your career, within your life, to really help people see your real, true, natural selves, and it translates into them knowing, liking, and trusting you, then I'd love to hear from you. So chat in. I see people out on the chat room. I see people sitting on the call or listening in on the radio show on my switchboard. So feel free to chime in if you'd like, and if not, then just sit there and enjoy. But to touch on some of the, some of the tips that we talked about, and keep in mind, not only do I broadcast this radio show and make the archives available so you can listen back at it, especially on iTunes as well, but But I also videotape these, so if you ever needed to want to see my smiling face, you can also go to my YouTube channel, which is Shedding the Bitch, or you can find it on my website. And as we go forward, I'd like to also get as many guests that are in Atlanta or where I am when I'm doing my shows also videoed with me, so stay tuned for those. So some tips for getting people to know, like, and trust you— critical if you're building a business, critical if you're building friends, if you have a relationship, if you are building your family, so forth and so on. And the first one that I suggested to them is really spend time each and every day on yourself, whether you're a man or a woman. I know how challenging it can be, especially if you have kids and you have a spouse and you have a dog, or you— and you have a career, or you're just trying to manage the household, it's very, very, very hard for a lot of people to just even take 5 minutes for themselves. And yet the number one key that I find for myself and for the people that I work with, or the people that I engage with, and my own little circle of friends and family, is if I'm happy and true and content with myself and If you've been part of the radio show or in my webinars or following me at all, you know that I have a book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch, and it's my personal story of transformation and getting over my negativity and a really nasty mindset that I projected onto other people. And my whole life around me through those years reflected it. I had, you know, I had a lot of negativity in my life. I couldn't hold a relationship. I was very challenging in the work environment. And so what I try to tell people is the minute I started even spending 5 minutes a day on myself and really kind of going inward, so to speak— don't worry, I'm not going to get woo-woo on you— but, um, but even just spending 5 minutes on yourself each and every day, you will make yourself happy, which will then make everything around you happy. And all of a sudden, you'll find that once you're happy and content and at peace with your life, then everything around you is gonna become that. And therefore, all of a sudden, you're gonna let go of those things, or what I call shed those things, either about you— and those are what I call bitches, those angst attitudes, negative mindsets, those feelings of insecurity or inferiority, whatever it is. You can, you know, you'll start letting them go as you start to focus on yourself, minutes, hours, for days, for weeks in your life. And then that in turn then allows you to be open to receive all the other goodness that the world has to offer and that you're looking for. So the number one thing you could do when it comes to you wanting to pursue your goals and your dreams, whether it's about a you know, high career strategy, or it's about your family, or it's about money, or it's about health, is to focus on yourself first. It sounds selfish, but yet at the same time, we do all have to get a little selfish in our lives so then we can find what makes us happy, and in turn that'll make everybody else around us happy. So even if you spend 5 minutes a day and you work that up, I think I used to spend negative 5. And then I would really— I just basically started spending, you know, a few minutes in the morning before I jumped out of bed to the alarm clock and jumped in the shower and started my day. I just kind of taught myself to kind of stay still right then and there and to kind of focus on what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what I need to get done in that day, and what kind of mindset do I want to have going into it. And I, you know, I kind of use these tools and these little tips and techniques even with my friends, family, and my clients. So it's something that you could do each and every day as well. Um, so spend 5 minutes a day or some sort of amount of time, and then you can build up from there. Now it's amazing because you start changing your mindset and you start kind of gaining some tools and techniques for staying positive. You'll find yourself driving along in your car and, you know, the radio is too noisy and the world outside is too noisy and you start going inward because now you kinda know how and what that feels like and what benefit it brings you. So, that was just a little tip. And then, I had them really kinda lay out what it is that they want in their life. So, for instance, many, many of us I asked this room, I'll go back to the room on Friday, 31 people sitting in the room. Oh, I'll take that back, 30 people, because I was at the front of the room. And I asked them, I said, okay, so how many of you have goals and objectives for yourself? And I would say about 70% of the people raised their hand. And I said, okay, so of that 70%, how many of you, the goals are for business versus personal? And a bunch of hands went down. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a bunch of hands stayed up. A lot of the hands stayed up. So then I said, okay, so how many of them are personal goals about your health, about your relationships, about even about money, about, um, your spirituality, whatever the case might be? And I would say about 70% of that, 70%, those hands went down. And the more critical question I asked was, "Okay, so of those of you who have goals, business or personal, how many of you actually execute against them, like have a plan to actually execute against them on a regular basis?" And I have to tell you, about 5% of the hands that went up originally were the only hands, you know, that were up at the end. And, you know, that's kind of so true and you can kind of find statistics about how few Few people really define a plan for themselves and then execute against that plan. So, I kinda told them that if they could spend 5 minutes on themselves and part of that could be the fact that every day, and I would show you if I had it in front of me, but every day, you know, I lay out my goals and my plans and what I want to accomplish either in that day, that week, that month, or the year and I, you know, I kind of want to kind of inspire you to do the same because you'll feel, you'll find so much confidence and empowerment and control and organization and priority come out of that little process. And again, it's all about knowing, liking, and trusting, right? So if you're focused and you know where you're going, people are going to want to follow, whether it's friends, family, clients, listeners, fans, followers, whatever the case might be. Um, so the next one was, um, knowing your worth. This was a big one and they all kind of looked at me like totally confused, but I suggested to them, I said, "Okay, so how many of you know what you're worth? What your hourly worth is especially?" And they all kind of looked at me and I said, "Well," I said, "Look at it this way. How do you make decisions about whether or not you're going to work on developing new products or services for your business?" Or you're going to work on trying to get promoted, or you're going to work on that family that you always wanted, or you're going to work on trying to make more money, or you're going to work on your fitness goal, you know, all of that. So, how many of you know that if those are your goals, then what is it worth for you to accomplish that goal? And therefore, of all the things that are going to come by you during the day that you have to make a decision on whether or not you act on it or not. How do you know how to prioritize doing email or Facebook or going to the gym over, you know, prospecting for clients, meeting new friends, you know, going out for a run? And I kind of bottom-line it to determine an hourly value of yourself. So, for instance, let's break it down from a business perspective. If you're looking to make $100,000 in the year, whether that's revenue or income, Then take that $100,000 and there's roughly around, uh, 2,000 hours in the year that you're going to be working, okay? And that you can look at that personally or professionally, you're going to be working. So those housewives out there, uh, you know, your— yours is one of the most challenging jobs in the world, and therefore, you know, look at it in the same way. So take that $2,000, divide it by the $100,000, and you roughly have a value of $200 an hour. Okay, I could be wrong, but I think I'm right. And, um, and therefore you can make your decisions and your priorities and your day-in day-out activities all centered around, is what I'm doing right now or need to do, you know, valued at $200 or more? Because if not, if it's less than $200, I need to delegate it. I need to get the kids to do it. I need to hire the landscaper. I need to put it off to one of my team members. I need to, you know, get a personal trainer. Get it? So you have an hourly value that you can translate into determining what you should be doing each and every minute of the day. Okay, and then we just talked about, um, we talked about things such as, uh, let's see, do you lead or manage your— the people in your life? Because I don't want this necessarily to be all about business, right? So, do you lead and manage your family, your spouse, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your friends, your boss, your clients, your team, or do they manage you? And what I mean by that is this: one of the greatest things about— or yeah, one of the greatest ways to gain respect from the people around you, especially your clients or other people you work with, is to let them know that you're leading them where they need to go. Because then they will definitely like, know, and trust you if you— if they know that you're looking out for the best of them. So let me break it down and give you a real-life situation. How many times does your client call or cancel on you on a regular basis or reschedule your appointments? And you need that paycheck, that's your mentality at least, and you say, oh, okay, okay, I can, I can change, I can switch, I can cancel that meeting, I could postpone it till next month. I can postpone getting, you know, money from you this month till next month, so forth and so on. Uh, you allowing them to manage and lead you will only get them to kind of continue that because it's going to become a habit and it's going to become okay for them to treat you like that because you didn't say, well, quite honestly, Joe, if, you know, if you need to cancel this appointment, you know, uh, there's still kind of a fee that's going to be based around that. You know, airlines do it, everybody does it, and we'll need to wait until next month because I don't have any other time in my schedule to do it. Even if you do have time, and yet, you know, you want to send a message and you want to kind of set a behavior, you know, it's just an example of how you want people to— you want people to know that you're leading and managing them and that they're not able to take advantage or mismanage you or take you off of your target of what you have planned in your goals, in your, your map, so to speak. And therefore, you know, you want to stay on track at all times. And the way to do that is to lead, as opposed to being led and managed. And then lastly, we just talked about the fact that as you go and try to go after some goals and, and objectives and dreams and aspirations and passions that you have, there's a, there's a time that you have to, whether it's big or small, You have to acknowledge your achievements and your accomplishments, and then you have to also pay attention to the missteps that you might have. Notice I don't like to call them failures, but missteps that you might have, because acknowledging your, your achievements and your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, will give you that energy and that focus and that motivation to keep going, keep going, keep going. And then if you even get a misstep, and trust me We're gonna move into a little conversation from this that all keeps on our subject of knowing, liking, and trusting, but at the same time, it'll talk about some missteps that they're only missteps, and therefore you just have to look at them, you have to acknowledge them, you have to determine, you know, why it happened, and then you just need to make adjustments and continue moving forward. You don't want to wallow in those things. I will digress a little bit to say Somebody the other day noticed in a radio interview, they were actually interviewing me, that they, you know, that I wasn't using the word failure. They asked me specifically, what was the biggest challenges and failures that you had in your journey and transformation and the development of this new business, so forth and so on. And in my response, they picked up the fact that I never used the word failure. And so they kind of called me out on it. I said, because I definitely am one of those people that believe that everything happens for a reason, that failures are just lessons to be taught, learned, and therefore there are no such thing as failures. I like to call them missteps or misdirections, whatever other word you want to use, because the fact that there's so much learning in those missteps and those readjustments that you make. That I don't like the word failure. It just makes me feel blah, and who wants to feel like that on a beautiful Tuesday, right? Anyway, okay, so those were some of the things that when we were talking about with this group of people and now with you, what can you do to have people know, like, and trust you? Those are just some tips. And if you would like, and actually you don't even need to respond to me, But what I'll do is I'm gonna even throw that up, if I haven't already, but I'm gonna throw that up on my website and you can pull down this little worksheet that just kind of highlights these tips. But so go to sheddingthebitch.com and you'll find a bunch of resources actually. And I talked about the webinars I'm holding. You can also see what's coming up and what we've done in the past. But go to sheddingthebitch.com for a bunch of resources. And at the same time, if you have a question and you wanna kind of come on air, then you can always reach out to me today at 1-818-572-2910 or chat in with us, leave a comment, question, you know, debate with me, disagree with me, give me some additional tips to share with you, whatever the case might be. But in that note and in that vein, I'm gonna move on to kind of give you my little situation that happened this past week. And it's not really actually a big deal, but it really provoked this dialogue with you today about knowing, liking, and trusting. It, you know, and it also kind of provoked my wanting to talk about it to the women of WOMTAC Château Elan on Friday. So everybody benefits. So The situation was this. I was on LinkedIn. I mentioned at the beginning, it's a great place for whether or not you are trying to build a business or you work for a corporation or some other business. A great place to build up your resume. And what I mean by that is becoming an expert and learning new, new things from all the other experts that are on LinkedIn within their groups and discussions. And you can also contribute to the dialogue and the discussions, and you can kind of build up your expertise yourself and your brand, as they say. So I was out there the other day on one particular call or one particular dialogue that was going on, and the dialogue that a young woman jumped in on was— the initial discussion was about leadership and managers and, you know, what employees are expected from their managers, and then what managers, you know, what the employees should expect of their managers. Hopefully I got that right. So a young lady jumps in, and I, and I say young because I, I know she made a note to the fact that she's just starting her corporate career, and her photo made it obvious she was probably in her mid to late 20s. So she jumps in and she said she asked the question, well, what can I do to impress my bosses as a means of advancement and as a means of, of, you know, pursuing my, my career aspirations? And so I jumped in, and I simply saw her posting, so I jumped in and I said what I would like to see is you don't need to impress anyone with anything but, you know, your skills and your talents and what you contribute and bring to the business each and every day. And of course, you can work to not only do your job, but, you know, to ask for— to exceed the expectations that the people around you have of you. You can work on really engaging and collaborating and integrating and teaming and, and really just go over and above and your work and what you bring to the table is going to impress. You don't necessarily need to be politically correct or to kiss butt or to use anything else other than, you know, your true person, your skills, and your talents. And therefore, therefore, simply just go on that and you will certainly impress, and advancement and all that will just come naturally. Well, she shot a note back and she said this, she said, well, it's interesting. Well, let me back up and say another woman responded to her posting as well and agreed with me. And now I didn't check out to see who this other woman was, but I just kind of saw the fact that this other woman had kind of supported what I said and elaborated on it. And this young lady then in turn says, well, it's interesting that this woman is— these two women are responding in such a way when they're not even in corporate, and what do they know? And I rest my case. And bottom line was I shot a note back to her kind of saying, uh, actually I had— was in corporate for 25 years and I very much know this this situation and what you're going through and what you really are looking to want to do in regards to impressing versus demonstrating your skills and your talents. And therefore, you know, what I would suggest to you is that you keep your mind open, you know, to ideas and thoughts and strategies that the rest of this forum is providing you, and to learn from it and take what you want. Well, she shot a note back just saying, well, I don't need to do that, and I think basically you need to mind your own business, so to speak. Well, I would have in my old days shot a note back saying, "Well, you're not gonna impress anyone," or "Know, like, and trust," you know. But I didn't, I refrained. So, I guess my lesson for you today would be, or what I wanna share with you today is people do wanna do business, people do wanna hang out, fall in love with people they know, like, and trust. And being your true natural self will allow them to do that. That's all you need. So, that's kind of today's shedding the bitch moment and I would love for you to join me next Tuesday at the same time, noon. And next week we don't have a guest so you just have me. But I'll look forward to seeing you right back here and then go to sheddingthebitch.com and get those resources that I talked about. Give me some feedback and some— some of your ideas. But until then, this is Bernadette Boas logging off. Thanks everybody! Thank you for using BlogTalkRadio. Goodbye. Thank you. Ah, oh.