Shed the Mental Health Stigma Bitch!!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818- 572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone and happy Halloween. How are you on this glorious day? I hope you're getting all revved up for Halloween. I can't say I am. As a matter of fact, I kind of turn off the light to my house and to my front yard and whatnot because I live up on a kind of on a hill, and it's a— there's a very steep, slippery, uh, slate rock stairwell, I guess, a set of steps. No driveway, so it's a very dangerous house. And so ever since I moved in about 15, 16 years ago, I don't want to take any chances of the kids coming up, and especially if they're wearing something long or whatnot, and then falling or tripping or sliding or doing something. So as much as I love Halloween and I would love to be greeting kids, it's just, it's really not worth it. It's not worth the liability, quite honestly. But our neighborhood is all decorated and all the kids will be running up and down the street yelling and screaming. So we'll take in that. But I hope you have a fun-filled celebration. I've been kind of wandering the neighborhoods all around Atlanta, not just in my neighborhood, but when I go off to play pickleball or a business meeting, I actually take some extra time to wander the neighborhoods and check out all the decorations. So I don't have any parties to go to, which is kind of sad, so I won't be dressing up. But Deborah, what are your kids doing, and do you do a family dress-up, or is it just the kids?

It's just the kids primarily. I have a cute little Halloween headband, sort of like bats or fun little pumpkins or whatever, but pretty much just the kids. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, and on the day we go trick-or-treating, and then throughout the month we do like, you know, the church down the street has a harvest festival, or the library does something fun like a Halloween party for them. So we go to stuff throughout the month, and then on the day we just do trick-or-treating.

Trick-or-treating.

Right.

Well, and that's what I heard, actually. I heard a radio program this morning about how the actual October 31st trick-or-treating volume has decreased greatly because now it's turned into kind of like a month-long event where people are having parties, the malls, you know, have times when people can come through. And then they were talking about what— What I understood them to say was treat trunk parties. Have you heard of that?

Yeah, trunk or treats. So basically, like, anybody can do it. Like, usually churches do trunk or treats, or like a community center will do a trunk or treat. So basically, they just get a bunch of people to like decorate their trunks of their car. They open up the trunk and decorate it, and then they hand out candy. So the kids can go to this one parking lot or like say the church down the street. And they walk through the parking lot, which is obviously blocked off, trick-or-treating from car to car, from trunk to trunk.

Okay, so it's kind of a sanctioned activity versus some guy, dude, opens up the back of his trunk, calls for trick-or-treaters.

Yes, it's not some creepy weirdo stranger going, "Hey, little kid, want a candy?" Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, because when I heard that, I'm like, 'Cause even when the mall started it, I just thought, oh my God, how sad is that that we have to take kids off the sidewalk, so to speak, and out of the neighborhoods and kind of bring them into— now I know that also started for those neighborhoods that the kids really didn't have places to go or too dangerous for them to wander their neighborhoods and all that kind of good stuff. Okay, so the big question is, what are your kids dressing up as? What's kind of like in nowadays?

Well, my older one, he is Pikachu, which is a Pokémon.

So—

Yes.

I don't know if you know what Pokémon is. Yeah, so he's Pikachu. He's the yellow Pokémon. And then my younger one wanted to be a red ninja.

Aww, cute.

And his favorite color is red. Oh, when we saw it, he was like, "Yes, red ninja!" Oh, that's so cute. That's so cute.

Well, that is the one thing I do, um, I do look forward to is, is kind of seeing the kids and what it is that they favor as far as, you know, characters or, you know, activities or whatnot. And, um, even— and then I like to watch the adults. I love to go to costume parties. I just don't know why I didn't have one this year, but to go to, but I'd love to because I just have always had a blast dressing up as a midget, dressing up as a ghost. I mean, you know, I go simple sometimes, but then I go a little bit, a little bit crazy. Um, but cool. So Halloween just around the corner, October 31st. And have you heard— I know we're talking a lot about this and we have to talk about mental illness, but this conversation helps you kind of like, you know, kind of be joyful as opposed to, uh any other negative state of mind. But lastly, have you heard about, um, there's some states trying to pass making Halloween more of a, like, the last Saturday night of every October versus an October 31st? I heard something about that.

I don't know which states it is, which states are trying to do that, but I hear something about that.

Yeah, none of the parents that I've talked to are those You what?

I said I don't know how I feel about it. I get both sides of the argument.

Yeah, none of the parents that I've spoken to that have kids really like the idea. Yes, they understand why, you know, it might be easier. They think it's easier on the parents. They think it's easier on the kids, whatever the case might be. But, you know, it's October 31st, people. Don't mess with it. Don't mess with a good thing, okay? All right, we have to move on because mental health is going to take us a good bit of time to talk about, but before we do, there is one last piece, or a couple pieces of rich news. Just as a reminder everybody, because I will need one on Saturday night, but Saturday night sadly we turn our clocks, and we turn them to where yes, we get an extra hour's sleep, which I don't need. But we do. We get an extra hour of sleep, but then it's long, dark days and nights. So, you know, hopefully you can— what they actually suggest, experts actually suggest, I watched this on the Dr. Oz Show the other day, especially those with kids, so Deborah, this might help you, is to actually start now, like yesterday or today— well, today is Tuesday, so today or tomorrow, start putting your kids to sleep 30 minutes earlier every day leading up to Saturday night. Because that will help them, just that 30 minutes will help them longer term adjust after Sunday and when people have a really hard time going into the first week of the change. So just as an FYI to you, those parents out there, and yet, you know, as adults I think, you know, we have a hard time adjusting too, and Monday is miserable, and then Tuesday and Wednesday is even harder, and then we are begging for Friday. Oh, that's every week. Okay.

All right.

So anyway, daylight saving time, without the S, daylight saving, and I think it's daylight losing time this weekend. Just don't forget that. Change your clocks, and I know your Androids and iPhones will do it for you. Let's see, past shows, because it has a lot of relevance to today's show. Recently, last week, we talked about confronting difficult conversations. Not the type like in work and you have a conflict, blah, blah, blah, but more so those conversations, those topics of life that we have a hard time confronting, whether that be someone dealing with abuse or bullying or depression or suicide or death. Even talking about dying is difficult. We had a whole discussion last week in regards to that, so you can go back and listen. And for that, we had Sharon Williams in studio a couple weeks ago, and we talked about mortal moments, those times where you just start questioning your purpose in life. We had her in studio, so we were able to broadcast the show, but we were also able to videotape it. So you can go out to our Shedding the Bits YouTube channel to check out that We talked about, you know, how to believe in what it is that you want and you're dreaming about and you're working so hard on, not just visualizing it. But then we also talked about how do you visualize it, how do you, you know, kind of create images in your head or on a piece of paper like a vision board in order to really kind of tangibleize your dreams and your goals. And of course, at the beginning of the month, beginning of every month, like next Tuesday, the first Tuesday of each month, we have our Ask Me Anything or Ask Bernadette episode. That's when you can post on Facebook or Twitter, sheddingthebitch.com, you can send me an email via LinkedIn, which is where I get majority of them, or at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. Any question you have about your career, business, or life, any story that you want me, to hear or share any challenge you might be having, conflict you might be having that you just need some tips and advice on. That's the first Tuesday of every month. What happens is you can do that on November 5th after the show has aired, and I'm going to answer them right away, and I might engage you in some way, shape, or form in regards to helping you with that story or question or challenge.. But then I bring them here on the program. I don't need to use your name, so I can, you know, allow your story to help other people. And then you even have an opportunity to come onto the program live, should you choose to, and talk about it further. So check out our Ask Bernadette episodes and then stay tuned for the program next Tuesday. You still have time all the way up until the day of, and you can even come on live to the program by just calling 1-818-572-2910. If you don't have an opportunity to do that, post your question as I mentioned, and then we'll discuss it. And you can download any episodes of the program off of blogtalkradio.com. Just look for our Shedding the Bitch radio page. You can do it from sheddingthebitch.com, our radio channel there. You can go on to iTunes for now, but Apple Podcasts and a number of other streaming services. If you just Google Shedding the Bitch podcast, you'll find us on a number of streaming sites nowadays. So that's all of that. But today, I really— over the last several weeks of our conversations in regards to mortal moments and talking about difficult parts of our lives that are just uncomfortable to confront. I then experienced last Wednesday on CBS This Morning— that's my morning news channel that I put on behind, you know, behind me so as I'm going about my morning— they had a mental health day on CBS This Morning. So the three of them, Gayle King, Anthony Mason, and of course I'm going to forget the third gentleman's name, I apologize, They were talking to a number of people throughout that hour, from people that are victims of mental illness, or they are family members of mental illness, or experts around mental illness. And they just focused on the stigma of it. And the whole program and week that they put a spotlight on was all around stopping the stigma. Stigma. So the hashtag #StopTheStigma. And what I just found kind of gut-wrenching was some of the statistics that they provided. They say that 45 million people in 2018 experienced mental health challenges. Of that, 7 million suffer bipolar, with bipolar disorder. Then I read something recently over the last week or so of researching this, that it is up to in 2019, 60 million. So 15 million more than even last year. So it's not something that's going away. As a matter of fact, the statistics, and we'll be talking about it, but the statistics even for young people, not, you know, tweens and teens, and then the 18 to 24, is even more frightening. The increase I mean triple-digit increases around not only those with mental illness, but then translating into, and going as far as suicide. So this isn't something that, you know, can be a 1-hour conversation, a week spotlight. It has to be something that we all talk about on a regular basis and we're all comfortable in talking about. Because it's going to take an army in order to— it's actually going to take more than that. It's going to take the world in order to address it. And I applaud CBS this Morning for doing that last week, yet at the same time I said to myself, okay, we have to continue this. We just have to, you know, just find mouthpieces, whether that is verbal or written, to continue the dialogue. So that's why I just thought it would be important for us to talk about it today. So that's what we're going to do. And what I want you to be thinking about is, even if you've ever, um, you know, turned on your, your phone or downloaded the, uh, podcast program, uh, on your laptop and you're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio, that's what Shedding the Bitch is all about. We don't call it mental illness, but when you're dealing with some form of negativity, fear, doubt, Ugliness, low self-worth, self-esteem, lack of confidence, that's mental. So, you know, we have to stop the stigma about it because we all have it, you know, at different extremes. And I love the comparison somebody made, Patrick Kennedy, and I'll go into that later, but very quickly, you know, he even made this comparison to, you know, there's various stages of cancer. You know, stage 1, 2, 3, and 4. And sad— and there's various stages of mental health, and sadly, majority of the time with mental health, we don't pay attention to it and react to it until it's stage 4. And yet cancer, you know, the, the proactive movement is for it to get addressed even before it's stage 1, get it as early as possible. So why are we so hung up on addressing, you know, that, or not addressing that with mental illness, though we address it that way for cancer and some other diseases. So let's work together, if you will, and see what we can do to help stop the stigma. So I'm stealing it from CBS this morning. I'll give you all the credit in the world, but #StopTheStigma. So your rich question for today, and if you're listening to the program for the first time, Our rich questions are questions that are directed to you for you to consider and ground yourself in the topic that we will be discussing for the time we are together today. We want you to be kind of internalizing, you know, the topics that we, we discuss because you can always find an opportunity to take something, even if it's a very small little minuscule of a nugget away from any of the topics that we have. And so this rich question for today that we want you to consider is: What do you deal with in your life that negatively, negatively impacts your mental or emotional health? So what do you deal with that negatively impacts your mental and emotional health? So think about that. You can even write it down. If you're driving, please don't, but really kind of consciously be present and aware and think about that because then we hope and expect that we can give you some tips and advice for addressing it. If you want to go out to Facebook or Twitter and share comments with us, you can use our #richtagmentalhealth. #StopTheStigma or our ongoing regular #ShedTheBitch. So those are what we call rich tags: mental health, stop the stigma, or shed the bitch. So when we get back from this brief commercial break, we're going to dive into this conversation and try to simplify it and really help you relate to what it's doing maybe within you, and/or within your family or within your community and give you tips and advice to help you stop the stigma. We will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, business and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome everybody. Today is our Stop the Stigma Day. Shed the mental health stigma. Stigma bitch, as we call it here. And I want to get really simple and basic with you about it, because maybe that will be a way for us to go, oh man, I, you know, why, you know, have I kind of made it out to be so much different than a few of these scenarios I'm going to paint for you. So when we break a bone, where do we run to? We run to the doctor. When we get the flu, We go to a doctor. If we have cancer or diabetes or any other illness, we go to a doctor. So why is it— and that's all physical— but why is it when we have mental illnesses— and again, illnesses, look at them as stage 1, 2, 3, or 4, you know, even if it's as simple as being stuck— or as simple as being sad, maybe not depressed all the way, but even sad, or pained, or hurt in some way, shape, or form, or scared, or we just are really kind of feeling beat up, and maybe, you know, maybe physically or emotionally we are. Why is it we don't kind of run off to a doctor? Now it doesn't have to be literally a doctor, again, stage 1, 2, 3, or 4, but even, even if it is a family member, a friend, a counselor, a colleague, a peer, and then we advance up to maybe it is a coach in some way, shape, or form, because there are life coaches. Maybe it is a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Difference between those two other than their medical license is the fact that One can prescribe medications and one does not. So why is it so hard to kind of put those 2, 3, 4 different forms of professional medical— medical professionals, I should have changed that around. Why is that so hard to include in our Rolodex when it's so simple to put our chiropractor and our podiatrist and our pediatrician and our OB/GYN and all the other dentists and, you know, optometrists, ophthalmologists. We have our— we certainly have our manicurists and pedicurists, you know, we have our masseurs. Why don't we just simply add a life coach a psychologist, psychiatrist, automatically. Doesn't mean that we don't need it, it just means that should we need it, we have them in our, in our Rolodex. We have to look at it that simply, that we take care of ourselves if any parts of our being are hurt, more so physically. We have to start considering that there are some breaks, there are some flus, there are some forms of cancer in us emotionally and mentally and spiritually, and therefore we need to seek out some help. And again, it, you know, it may not at first— stage 1, stage 2— it may not at first be psychologists or psychiatrists, family, friend, counselor, life coach, whomever, but at the same time, the awareness that there are people out there and resources out there to help is really what's going to help us to stop the stigma. Is to make sure that if we want to be comfortable with it, we have to make other people comfortable with it. So we can't be the ones judging it and ridiculing it. We have to accept it. Many people— I should have mentioned this— many people go to the priests or the rabbis, you know, for help and support and guidance when it comes to themselves spiritually. Why can't we add these other individuals, other professionals, into that mix as well? If that's not convincing enough, let's talk about some statistics, shall we? Now, I I pulled these statistics from research, you know, online, and so it's not anything, you know, I don't work in the profession of mental health other than the fact that I do provide life/business coaching, executive coaching, which touches on your state of being, but I don't profess to be a mental health expert in any way, shape, or form. But there is a number of reports and research, you know, that you can lean on online in order to help educate yourself, but also those around you. So according to reports, mental health and substance use challenges can take many forms. There's depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, addiction, and the list goes on. Now I will jump in there to say those would be some very, what I'll call those, you know, 3-4s, stage 1, 2, 3, 4, those 3-4s. But again, there also are 1 and 2, and we're going to talk about those as well. Some are, if you look closely, they're easy to see, and some are much harder to see, especially if you're not necessarily looking for them. So some other statistics, and I did not automatically write down, and I apologize, I'll get the resource that I'm using and put it into the blog post. But the statistics just floored me. So in the United States, almost half of adults, that's 46.4%, will experience a mental illness during their lifetime. 5% of adults 18 or older experience a mental illness in any one year, equivalent to 43.8 million people. So 5% or 43.8 million people will experience mental illness in any one year. Of adults in the United States with any mental disorder in a one-year period, 14.4% have one disorder, 5.8% have two disorders, and 6% have 3 or more disorders. Now I'm gonna go back to that original list, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, addiction, and the list goes on. So those are what I'll say, you know, are the disorders levels that they're talking about. Half of all mental disorders begin by age 14, and 3/4 by age 24. So parents out there, your child may be 2, they might be 6, they could be 10, but you now know that as they get to, you know, 11, 12, 14, you know, there are mental disorders and there are signs that you should be looking for. Three-quarters of them will be by age 24. In the United States, only 41% of the people who had a mental disorder in the past year received professional healthcare or other services. 41%. That leaves 69— no, I'm sorry, 59% left on— I won't call it untreated— uncared for. They are left on their own. They are left without support. They are left without love and the care that they deserve in order to take care of themselves. Now, according to CBS This Morning during their Stop the Stigma program, suicides— parents, parents, listen to this— suicides among 10 to 14-year-olds has tripled in the last 10 years. Due to social media shootings and other, you know, other suicides, like learnings of other people's suicides. That is crazy, absolutely crazy. I'm looking forward, 'cause I think I got, those were all the stats pretty much that I had seen that just absolutely floored, floored, floored me. So whether you are young, whether you, you know, are more what I call seasoned. Maybe it'll even help, especially for those parents trying to communicate, trying to find something, you know, to kind of relate to for the kids, if they are recognizing for them, for their children, or even for themselves, and they feel stigma toward admitting it or confronting it. Let me just give you a a little idea of the famous people that deal with disorders. And when you hear these names, some of them are very public about their disorders, which is fabulous. Because if, you know, if we are going to bring attention to it, you know, in our very media-driven world that we live in, it's going to be the famous people that people are going to go, oh my gosh, if they're willing to come out and acknowledge that they suffer, so are we. Now this is only a drop, but let me give you an idea. Mariah Carey, Carrie Fisher, Bebe Rexha, Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber, Ted Turner. Now I bring him up because he's a much older seasoned gentleman and many young people may not know him. Of course the more seasoned individuals will. You know, he basically is the founder of CNN. He's Jane Fonda's ex-wife— ex-husband. But he is what many people look at power and they look at success and they look at billionaires, you know, they look up to them. Ted Turner is one of them, and yet he has publicly acknowledged his struggle with mental illness. Catherine Zeta-Jones has always been out, you know, very public about her bipolar. Sophie Turner, Chris Evans, Chrissy Teigen. I never know how to pronounce her name. But recently you've seen even Ben Affleck, you know, he relapsed for one night, Halloween party I guess it was this past weekend, with his alcohol addiction. Now that addiction is mental illness. Something mentally, emotionally is driving him to need to drink. So let's not lump and let's not create the stigma and propagate the stigma that mental illness, mental health is only these major severe bipolar, anxiety, schizophrenia. They are also more, I don't even want to, they're not simple obviously, but they are addictions. They are hate. They are those negative Nellies that are out there. That is, you know, forms, stage 1, 2, 3, and 4, remember, forms of mental illness/mental health. Now a few other things that I found very interesting during the CDS this morning, Stop the Stigma program, is they had, like I said, a number of famous people that came on to discuss it. So Lady Gaga's mother, Cynthia is her name, she discussed Gaga's feelings, or I'm sorry, struggle with being bipolar. But Cynthia, the mother, so for those parents out there, whether your child's 5 or 30, the whole family unit, actually the whole community is impacted by someone dealing and struggling. With a mental health sickness. And so Cynthia was discussing her feelings of guilt and helplessness, not knowing what to do to help Lady Gaga, you know, through her teens and into her 20s and now 30s, dealing with her mental struggles. So she has a tip I'll get to. I didn't move it down to the tip section, but she does have a tip that parents, you need to educate yourself on adolescent changes. For those of you with young children, whether it's, you know, 1 up to 18 when they're out of the house, you really, especially as they go into, you know, pubescent and they go into their tween and teen years, you know, pay attention and educate yourself on what are those adolescent changes that they'll be going through, what are the social societal impact, and then what signs, what literally will they go through physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that I should be paying attention to. And it's not parents' things that you should just blow off as, oh, they're just acting out, they're just trying to find their way, they're trying to, you know, become independent. That's what kind of creates a lot of of— oh my gosh, what's the word I'm looking for— not ignorance, a lot of blind spots, I'll call it. That's not the word I was looking for, but that's what creates a lot of blind spots, is just people kind of assuming, well, it's just part of growing up and it's just those, you know, tween, teen age. No, you really need to, you know, even look at it even with a much finer, clearer scope. You need to listen and validate their feelings. You are not there to problem solve for them. That is what they are trying to do for themselves, is trying to figure out how to navigate this world. I won't even get into the whole social media aspect of it. So her tip is to listen and validate their feelings. Don't try to problem solve them. And then again, take them seriously. If they make off-the-cuff comments, whether it's even about hanging out with the wrong kids, or smoking, or drinking, let alone doing drugs, let alone, you know, from a sexual promiscuity perspective, whether it's getting more serious into, you know, I want to cut myself, I want to kill myself, you know, don't Don't just kind of blow them off again as, oh, they're just being kids. You need to take them seriously and start asking the tough questions, like we talked about last week on our episode of kind of confronting the difficult topic or conversation. Karamo Brown. I didn't know this gentleman. He's on Queer Eye, and he was on talking about his own struggle, not only coming out of the closet and, you know, kind of telling everyone that he was gay when he was a teenager, but just other emotional, spiritual, mental struggles that he's had. And I just love the fact that he shared something that got him through it other than opening up and being honest and transparent with his loved ones around him. He then said, well, I also, you know, came up with prayers and affirmations for myself. And one of the affirmations that he leaned on actually is from Winnie the Pooh, which I absolutely love, which is, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. And he, you know, kind of would repeat that to himself. We talk about affirmations a lot on the program. He just will repeat that to himself so, you know, he also will then convince himself of it. And then lastly, what I found very intriguing around this whole idea of mental illness and the stigma of it and what people go through is You know, again, this is going to be for those seasoned individuals, but if you know the newscaster Jane Pauley, and she's, you know, been around forever and a day, you know, she's kind of synonymous with Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, and then there's Jane Pauley. And she actually fell off the face of the earth, and you kind of, you know, didn't see her anymore for a long period of time. And that's because she was dealing with her own mental struggles. And she actually pushed back on Gayle King and the group on CBS This Morning regarding the word stigma. And she even challenged them, can we come up with something different? Because even that word creates stigma. Which I couldn't argue actually with it, and I was tweeting the whole time, but during the program. I couldn't argue with that because it is kind of an ugly word and it is a word that kind of propagates having a stigma. It's almost like people don't want to use the term mental illness, and now they're using more mental health because they don't want it to kind of appear ugly. So she challenged them. She said, look, you know, there's other causes and other illnesses and diseases like Run for a Cure. She says it's a much more positive, uplifting thing, and that's for cancer. And then another program she mentioned talks about hope, and is there a different word that could be used when it comes to mental health, talking about mental health, addressing mental health. And again, she even touched on that words matter. And even for people dealing with mental health, words matter, how people speak to them, people acknowledge them, validate them, listen to them, speak to them, not solve their problems but more so guide them, is when words become even more important for them. So I know that was a lot and I do want to talk— we have a lot more to talk about. So we're going to take a quick break. It's going to be the only break we're going to take and then when we get back I'm going to talk to you about signs you could be paying attention to, actually for yourself or for anyone within your, your circle, so to speak, your life. And then we're going to talk about why is stigma so powerful, and I'll provide you some tips. We have a lot to talk about, so we're going to take this commercial break and we will be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media-relations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back, everyone. We are #StopTheStigma today. We want to really put a positive spin, put at least a productive spin on mental health. And I want to just make sure every one of you know right now, if you are dealing with anything, I don't care how little, how small, or how big and serious, and you're dealing with it and feel very much alone, and/or you know someone who does, I want you to reach out to me. I may not be able to help you in any way, shape, or form, but you know what, I can help you in that I can find you the resources. I can hold your hand, listen to you, listen to your, to your story, your, or your struggle, and then guide you somewhere. So I just want to put that out there right now, and if that's on Facebook, if that's on Twitter, if Someone actually, I meant to say this earlier, someone actually sent me a Facebook post and said, Bernadette, FYI, I shared your information with another friend of mine. She didn't explain what it was about or whatnot, but I gathered it was something because it was actually following last week's radio program. And it was just a simple Facebook post. And so I'm going to, I said, okay, fine, I'm looking forward and I'm hoping that she does reach out with whatever it is that she's asking about. So please be sure to do that whether it's for yourself or someone else. But what are those signs that you could be kind of paying attention to for yourself or for someone else when it comes to any one of those stages? And I think we should talk about mental health in stages. Again, from, you know, the simple form of even being stable stuck or feeling anxious to more serious and more critical types, levels of mental health. So, regardless of the stage. So if you start, if you see someone or you're feeling sad or tearful, if you're finding someone who is usually optimistic and all of a sudden is more pessimistic than usual. If someone's feeling guilty or empty or feeling worthless, these are all the bitches we talk about all the time, and they're not typical emotions of those individuals. If they seem less interested in spending time together, maybe they stopped talking or stopped calling or stopped stop Facebooking or tweeting, and they all of a sudden feel like as if they're falling, you know, out of sight. I mentioned last week when we were talking about tough subjects, you know, I had noticed someone in my very— I'll call it a very tight circle. They're not a friend of mine. It's hard for me not to say who or what they are in my life, but so— but I noticed that they stopped kind of going out in public. They started retreating, they started hibernating, and it went on for several, I would say about 3 months, and it did turn out to be something serious. Now, you know, and I won't spend a lot of time there, but, you know, fortunately I kind of noticed this change and pointed it out to someone, and they were able to help them. If you see someone who's getting very irritable or testy or short with you when they typically aren't, maybe they've all of a sudden become impatient or anxious, almost like jittery, like they're on too much caffeine. They're having trouble sleeping. They're appearing just less interested. I went through this myself during those 3 months of being stuck. I just kind of— I didn't even feel like I wanted to get up and get dressed. Because what was I going to do? I was just sitting on my couch. Why did I have to get up and get out and dress up and all that kind of good stuff? If you're finding that you or someone else is dealing with sleeping, maybe having trouble sleeping or sleeping way too much. But then, like, as the stages go up in severity, so does signs go up in severity. If all of a sudden you're hearing someone or you're thinking it within yourself, about death more than you've ever had. Maybe— and it doesn't even have to be just talking about it or thinking about it, it could be writing about it or drawing or painting about it. Maybe, you know, all of a sudden there's talk about one hurting themselves, or maybe, you know, all of a sudden you start witnessing that they're hanging out with a whole different type of crowd. You know, where they were hanging out with the cool kids before, now they're hanging out with those that do struggle with drugs or addictions or other things. And of course, if it's, you know, becoming very severe where they're looking and talking and thinking about hurting other people or, you know, even themselves through suicide or something very much, you know, more severe. There, you know, there's— people will say after someone's gone, Oh, I wish I had noticed that. Oh, I wish I kind of, you know, said something about that. Because they notice these more subtle things, you know, sadness, tearfulness, feeling guilty, less interested, not as engaging, you know, more irritable. You know, they're either eating more or they're eating less. You know, those are kind of those early signs of something that could, could get more serious. So why is it— why, why, why— why is it that we just have this kind of negative, judgmental, ridicule type of view on mental health? Well, one psychological scientist, a psychological scientist, Patrick W. Corrigan, in some research that I found, He is with the Institute of Technology in Illinois, and he is the lead author on this report. He goes on to say, the prejudice and discrimination of mental illness is as disabling as the illness itself. Listen to that. The prejudice and discrimination of mental illness is as disabling as the illness itself. It undermines people attaining their personal goals and dissuades them from pursuing effective treatment. That's pathetic. So let's take that statement apart. The prejudice and discrimination of mental health— mental illness is as disabling as the illness itself. What that's saying is, here this person suffering— remember last week we talked about sufferers and supporters— this person suffering with all this, you know, whether it's stage 1 or stage 4, of a mental health issue, and that's bad enough. That's sending them to the bed, that's sending them to the bottle, that's sending them to the pills, that's sending them to the cutting. That's bad enough. And yet what they also have to deal with is the prejudice and discrimination of them seeking help. The judgment, the ridicule, the shame, the blame of them getting help. The fact that society as a whole doesn't consider mental health treatment as seriously as they do the flu, let alone cancer. I mean, that's absolutely appalling and every one of us should be ashamed of ourselves. Every one of us. And yet, yet, there is a way that the power of one can become the power of the world if we take on ourselves to help in some way, shape, or form, even if that is smiling or asking someone seriously how they are doing, or reaching out a hand to someone who is in need. But this report also went on to say the stigma associated with mental illness can be divided into two types. There is social stigma, which involves the prejudiced attitudes that others have around mental illness, and self-perceived stigma, which involves our own internalized stigma of the way we look at mental illness and seeking treatment. I am proud to say, and I believe I've talked about this on the program before, I am proud to say that I really have never had a prejudice or a judgment on it. I've always felt that if you're sick in any way, shape, or form, you seek help. And I, you know, I never hid from the fact, and we've discussed it on the program, that in my mid-20s I lost a dear friend to AIDS. And I was so stricken by that event that I sought help. So, you know, I'm glad that I can, but so many of you are thinking that there's this this big, you know, stigma, or there's this big no, or there's this big ugliness or ridicule or judgment. And I am sorry if I've ever contributed to it. I am sorry that others contribute to it. I am sorry that you yourself are beating yourself up over, you know, having a need and wanting to go and seek help, and yet you're holding yourself back. Now let me put it another way though, of the severity of this. Public stigma emerges when persuasive stereotypes that people with mental illness are dangerous or unpredictable are exasperated. So basically what that's saying is that if your stigma about, someone that may claim to be mentally ill or just suffering in any way, shape, or form, if you're automatically assuming that they're dangerous or unpredictable just because they say that they have bipolar or that they have an addiction or that they are depressed or that they are anxious or that they are schizophrenic, to assume and to just place absolute judgment on them being dangerous or unpredictable That's so unfair to that individual. And that also is what creates a lot of the stigma, let alone all the social hate speech, judgment, and ridicule that people hide behind their computers and put out there in a, in a very social way. So we have to kind of flip, flip it on its head and kind of be accepting of it. Just like cancer stages 1 through 4, let's look at mental health and and treat it for ourselves and for other people as just another aspect of one's being. Now, there's a number of resources out there which I definitely also— I also want to get into before our time is up. And one I just want to mention very quickly because I was so impressed by this young lady. She too was on the CBS This Morning. Stop the Stigma program is MyAnna Bryant. I hope I'm pronouncing her name correctly. But she created an organization and it's called The Mental Elephant. And she is putting a face to youth and the challenges that they have in dealing with mental health, their mental health. And she kind of advises that the only thing you need to do each day is breathe. That's her core kind of piece of advice to her young people. And of course you can, you know, become part of her herd as she describes it, become part of her herd at thementalelephant.com. But they are claiming that the young people who are very emotionally aware, or I'll say they're, they're more emotionally aware than past generations are. The young people, they feel, going forward are going to shift and are going to put a welcoming, opening, and accepting face to mental health and mental illness, which is a beautiful, beautiful thing. But, you know, what can you, what can you do to help in our last few minutes together? But what can you do to help yourself and/or to help others? As I mentioned something about Patrick Kennedy earlier, Patrick J. Kennedy is from the famous Kennedy family. He's a former Rhode Island congressman. He also just recently lost his 24-year-old cousin to suicide, and he also, you know, was feeling the guilt and the shame of not recognizing what she was going through. Even after she wrote a beautiful, beautiful letter to her fellow students about how she was suffering. And I'm actually, we don't have time to read it, but I am going to make sure that that is shared on our Facebook, Twitter pages, and on our blog, I'll do a blog post around it. But I want to get to the fact that he is advocating this idea of checkup from the neck up. Checkup from the neck up. Basically saying that when you go into the doctor's office, just as easily as they ask you for your family history of cancer and heart disease and other illnesses, they should be asking questions about addictions, about mental illness, any disorders that family members have had, because there is, and he has research to show, that, you know, if you do have family history of it, you could be predisposed to it. And therefore, your doctor, even from a very young age, should be aware of it so they could also pay attention to it. Now, beyond that, what I also believe is when you go to your doctor, you should be talking about your emotional state. And I do love the commercials from the insurance companies that do say, you know, when you go into your doctors, talk about the body and the mind. You know, let them know how you are feeling physically and mentally. And I believe that that is absolutely critical. Now, on a more serious note, I do want to mention that if you or someone you know is dealing with something, you know, that has to do with self-harm or suicide or something very critical, you know, there is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Now, this isn't just about suicide. So they have mental health professionals who can listen and guide you. And your family through steps that you could be taking should you know someone that's in that degree, that stage of severity. So just know that that is out there as well. And then lastly, all I want to mention is if you need signs of how you can help other people or even help yourself, help yourself. You know, just listen for yourself. Write it down and ask someone to listen to you. Help them find support. Support them in continuing therapy or starting with therapy if they're struggling. If they come in and out, like, you know, Ben Affleck even said, yep, I, you know, I left and now I have to get back on the horse again. Take care of yourself so you can help others. Remember last week we mentioned, as they say on an airplane, put the mask on yourself first before helping others. Educate yourself. I mentioned earlier that Gaga's mother said you should educate yourself on mental health. You should educate yourself on adolescent changes. You should educate yourself on what it means to be— what is depression, what are signs of of mental health struggles, whether it's for myself or for somebody else. You know, kind of be patient both with yourself and those people that are suffering. Don't expect them to, you know, kind of get it on the first time, so to speak. Be patient with them if they're not coming and opening up right away, that they need time, they need, you know, kind of space to process it themselves. Make sure you stay in touch with people. You know, just asking and walking away is not doing it. You know, it needs to be repeated. It needs to— they need to trust that, yes, they're not opening up right away, but if you come around often enough, that is allowing them to feel supported and trust, trust enough to allow you in. And know the different forms that depression takes, or mental health. Take those stages. Research, educate, just learn. I love— and maybe that's why I love being a radio, you know, host, because I love learning about people. I love learning about subjects, and then I love discussing them. So, you know, educate yourself. Whatever you do, seek help for yourself and those you love. It's the best way to show that you love you and others. And I hope that you can help too to stop the stigma around it because we all deal with it. There's not one person on this earth walking around without some form of a bitch within them at some point in their life. So we can all do our parts to help each other. Thank you so much for partaking in this discussion, this conversation. And I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Back the stigma, everyone!

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week!