Shedding The Corporate Bitch Is Not About A Person But A Mindset

MUSIC still wants to play. Hi everyone, how are you on this beautiful, beautiful day? I am Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, and welcome to our Powerhouse Coaching Hour. And on this particular episode, we're gonna take a little bit of a different slant, um, because we are going to be talking about what is shedding the corporate bitch all about. And along with that, there's been a number of new developments here within Ball of Fire Coaching. And so I really want to share kind of my origin story, my backstory, how all of this has come about. But at the same time, what's most important is for you, the powerful tool, our Shift to Riches Formula, that came out of my experiences and actually my work with all my clients around the world over the last 12 or 14 years.. And so that Shift to Riches Formula is a tool that can be used on a daily basis in order for you to really create the riches you want in your work and life and to really be that powerhouse leader that you want to be. All right, so we have a little, little bit of a lot to cover, to cover. At the same time, I also want to leverage this hour to ensure that you're getting any of your questions or challenges addressed. So we are broadcasting across Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and LinkedIn. And so if you see me every once in a while glancing across, you know, across pages, so to speak, that's what I'm doing is just keeping an eye out for any comments that you might have. And again, post your, your questions, your challenges anything that you really want to talk about, and let's be sure that we can get that addressed while we're here together. At the same time, if you do come across and you are watching this in replay, then be sure to still post your question or your situation that you're dealing with, and you can always get the support and the help that you need because I'll be reaching out to you directly. And then we might just bring whatever situation you might be dealing with without mentioning any names or specifics on our next Power Hour Coaching, just to ensure that other people can learn from what others are going through. Because the one thing I've definitely learned through my coaching experience over the last 14 years is that we all want to relate, that we're not alone, and that people deal with the similar, if not exact, similar situations that we are dealing with. So that's what I want to always make sure that you feel comfortable with is that you are never, never, never alone. And, um, it's most likely the situations that others go through and you go through are, are something that you can all learn from. All right, so be sure to, uh, post your comments, uh, or your questions below. At the same time, be sure to always reach out to me. You can go right to Ball of Fire Coaching and we have been announcing that we've relaunched it. So you can always go right now to ballofirecoaching.com and check out our new website. And at the same time, there is an opportunity and a button for you to be able to book a call with me should you want to discuss something, um, kind of privately, one-on-one. And that's a complimentary call that you can always take advantage of. All right. So that's enough of all that, but I'm going to keep this, keep up this up so you can always know that if you have a question or a situation that you need to deal with, then, and you need some advice and support, then feel free to ensure that you are, that you post it here and you're getting the support that you need. Okay. And again, bear with me as I go, go between platform so I can ensure that I don't miss anybody. All right, so as I mentioned, what I really want to share with you today is kind of, um, the answer to the question that I frequently get when it comes to my work specifically and my backstory, and that is, um, where did Shedding the Corporate Bitch come from? And actually, where did Shedding the Bitch come from? Because for 12 years, that's been the name of my podcast. And so I'll often get that question, whether it's from a client or it's prospects, or if I'm doing a speaking engagement, or if I'm just out and about and somebody happens to ask about me and they learn about my book, they're like, where did that come from? But more importantly, it's not about my story as much as what did I glean from my story that you, especially those of you in the business world, corporate, because the business world can include entrepreneurs and corporate professionals. However, the, the crux of everything stemmed from my experience in corporate and my, what I'll call my leadership style at the time. And therefore, it's everything that I work on today. I coach, train, speak, speak and write on just, uh, what does it really take to be a powerhouse leader? What does it really take to shift out of that corporate bitch mindset and really create riches in both your work and your life? And so, uh, you know, we definitely want to dive into the Shift to Riches Formula so you have a tool that you could be using each and every day to really work on yourself. That's what it's all about, is to really work on yourself. So I'll also share what it is and what it isn't as well, because of course, as you can imagine, if someone sees the title or hears the title, comes across the podcast, the videocast, they'll all of a sudden be like, hmm, is that about X, Y, and Z? And I'll be like, no, it's about 1, 2, and 3. So I want to also share with you what it is and it isn't. So we're not confused. Okay, um, all right, so a little bit, um, about my backstory and how this all came about is I did spend 25 years in corporate America, um, and I had a very— what many people would look at as a very successful, um, very prosperous, uh, career, um, you know, starting on the floor in a retail store to the last role that I had as a senior executive for a Fortune 500 company. However, in late 2007, you know that Monday after Thanksgiving, you know, you have had a long weekend and you're drowsy as you get up in the morning to have to go to work. Trying to kind of pull yourself out of bed and get excited about it. But the only thing you're really getting excited about is that it's the holidays. It's the holiday period. So you go kind of dragging yourself into work. Well, I went running into work. I was so excited. Yes, I had a little bit of a fuzzy mindset going on from my long holiday weekend. At the same time, I was really excited about some of the initiatives, not only that I was going to be kicking off at the beginning of the new year, but actually what was going to be still rolling out and being able to complete the year with a bang. So I go running into work at 7:00, 7:30 in the morning to meet up with my boss to discuss exactly, you know, how we were going to go about the rollouts of these initiatives. And it was about 30 minutes later. I might— that may be skewed a little bit, but about 30 minutes later, I found myself in the parking lot with a pink slip in my hand and my single box of my 25-year career. And I should say, and the words "you're fired," you know, kind of bouncing around, echoing, you know, in my ears.. And I just stood there in the parking lot staring back at this big glass building that I'd spent 12 years at, thinking, what the heck just happened? How did I get here in the middle of this parking lot? And for all purposes, I was a high-producing, high-contributing level of an individual as well as an executive. And so I sat there quite perplexed as to what exactly happened. Now, what really was also causing— and maybe you've experienced this yourself— but what I was also experiencing was not only, you know, the anger and the bitterness and the confusion and that, you know, being perplexed and flabbergasted and stunned But I was also— there was a part of me that was kind of relieved and excited at the same time. And so this conglomeration, if that's a word, of emotions was really confusing me. But what I did know is that in that moment, what I did know is that I wouldn't be returning to corporate and I would be going and figuring out what my next chapter was. And I needed to figure out exactly how did I land up in that parking lot, because the kicker is that I landed up in that parking lot as a result of also my mentor of 12 years, um, not necessarily protecting me and kind of putting the nail in the coffin in my losing not only my job but my career, my self-identity, and what I really, really at the time was craving. And that was what I call the 3 Ps: power, prosperity, and position. And it's the 3 Ps of destruction is what I actually will refer those 3 Ps to because it was my downfall. And I'll get into that in a minute. So there I was and walking away, putting my belongings in the car and driving out of that parking lot for the last time. And like I said, confused but excited about what was going to happen next. When I returned home, what I also knew in every fiber of my, my being is that I needed to figure out my role in everything that had just happened. I mean, here was this relationship, this mentorship that I had had for 12 years, and it just doesn't blow up for no reason. There had to be reasons, and I wasn't going to be that type of person, even in the mindset that I was in, which we'll talk about. But I wasn't going to be that type of person where I was going to, you know, blame every— everybody else, including my mentor. I wasn't going to get angry and bitter about it. I just needed to figure out what it was all about. So as I set off and I started my own coaching and consulting practice, this was 2008 now, and I had, despite the 2008 recession and all the gloom and doom that many, many, many business owners, especially coaches and consultants, were feeling, that didn't impact me. I saw it like any, any hardship or any downturn in the market or in the in economics, it opens up opportunities. And so that could be a whole discussion in itself. And so I didn't look at it that way, and I would not allow my clients who were small business owners at the time— I would not allow them to look at it either in a doom and gloom way. I kind of helped them shift into looking at it as huge opportunities for themselves. And therefore, my roster, you know, was full, actually packed, you know, from 2008, 2010, while other people were struggling. But what was really critical about that time period for me was I, at the same time I was building my business, I was also having to what I call excavate my own soul. I had to dig deep and figure out what was it that caused me to lose everything? And what role did I play? What responsibility did I have? And I needed to take accountability for it and figure it out so I didn't do it again. I'm not one to like to make mistakes over and over and over again. I think they call that insanity. So I, I, uh, you know, sat there and I said to myself, okay, so how do I go about doing this? Well, it turns out, um, I'm one of 12 children out of Philadelphia, two parents whom at the time had been married for 50-plus years. And my father happened to be a journaler, and he did it for more pragmatic reasons, practical reasons, like, you know, tracking the kids and the expenses and the food list and the restaurants we went to and the places we could go in a horde of 14. Um, however, that whole that whole routine and discipline of journaling on a daily basis was very intriguing to me. And he pretty much mentored me from a very young age to journal myself, keep a diary, you know, at that, you know, I started at 8. And so you could call them diaries at that point. And then they evolved. And so I did, I started journaling from a very, very early age. And I have hundreds of journals and probably hundreds of blank journals, um, up in my attic. So I started journaling. And but more importantly, because journaling is a powerful, powerful tool for you if you're in a, in a place of reflection, if you're in a place of change, if you're in a place of transition or confusion, journaling is a powerful, powerful vehicle for you to use to figure things out. And you just start scribbling. And so I just started scribbling. However, I did start asking myself some key questions which would serve you very well as also to consider for yourself. And so let me share those with you. And they are the same exact questions that I started asking myself before then I spent weeks and months just adding to the questions, adding to the questions, and really digging deep and excavating my soul. So some of the initial questions you could be asking yourself are things very simple but very, very deep, and that is, who am I? Not the psychographic, demographic, geographic type of, of data points, but really, what are your beliefs? What do you stand for? What are your values? You know, what really kind of turns you on but really turns you off? I mean, all aspects of who you are and what are those stories and the events and the encounters and the experiences that you've had that have made you who you are. And so right then and there, you can certainly what I call popcorn consulting, popcorn coaching, popcorn journaling. You could certainly just start scribbling And when you're kind of exhausted, you could put the pen down. But then what I would always suggest you do is continue digging into those questions and to continue digging into answering those questions as deeply as you can. So there I was scribbling, scribbling, scribbling, um, on who am I. Then I kind of progressed and I said, okay, so Who do I want to be? So if I'm in that state and I was, you know, I'm trying to figure out what had happened that, you know, caused me to be fired. I needed to figure out who I was, but who I want to be, because I obviously don't want to be a person who's fired. You don't want to be a person who's fired. And self-awareness is key in any and all aspects of your life at work or at home. If you don't have self-awareness, then you're just walking around creating perceptions in other people's minds that then turn into their reality. So that's another key point, is people's perception of you— good, bad, or indifferent— is their reality of you. It's almost like that's the brand that you have stamped, signed, and approved for other people to, to believe about yourself.. And I was in a position where I was like that. I didn't know exactly, but I knew that the person to be fired was not the person that I wanted to be. So that's your next question. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who do I not want to be? This was the question that really kind of triggered everything for me is, who do I not want to be? I certainly didn't want to be that person. And so it goes back to, who do I want to be? But I need to understand who do I not want to be as well. And that's what you would want to understand about yourself. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Who do you not want to be? And then you can continue digging in, again, excavating your soul around what do you want? I mean, truly want, not just because of, you know, the fact that you're told there's expectations, there's responsibilities, there's, there's, you know, there's beliefs that you even have as to, you know, what you should want in your life. But I, you know, throw all that away and just really say, okay, if I have a blank slate, if I have all the money in the world, if I can never fail, what do I want? And that could be people, places, and things. What do I want? And then, of course, the contrast. What do you not want? Now, this definitely hits home when someone's wanting to make a change. It could be changing your job, changing your location, changing the people you're hanging out with, changing the person you're in bed with. It could be any aspect. Who, you know, uh, what do you want? What do you not want? People, places, and things. And this again was key for me because I needed to figure out who, what, where, when, and how everything happened. So here I was, and, and, you know, you can use those tools as well, um, and we'll go into it even deeper as we talk about the Shift to Riches Formula. But here, uh, here, you know, we are, and— or here I was, I'm sorry, here I was, and I still couldn't figure out kind of how did I get there? And so I started really— I, I had been doing it all along, but I had started to kind of run the film of my life through my head. Everywhere I went, I was replaying and replaying, replaying from the earliest memory I had to the current time, replaying the encounters, experiences, the interactions you know, what would have caused my mentor of 12 years to let me go and to fire me. So I needed to, you know, figure that out. So I went and I started to kind of really, you know, play that, play that through. And, you know, I was at the gym, I was at the grocery store, I'm taking a walk with my dog. I was running, running, running this film of my life. Well, it was one day, uh, I would say, gosh, 10 or 11 months in, um, since I had both been fired and through my excavating and my soul process. And I'm in the park, it's a 2-mile route with my dog, and we're out on a jog. And as I'm running, running, running, I'm running these, these short clips of my life through my head. And I was in the period of, you know, in college, getting my— you know, not my first job, but, you know, getting a really key critical executive job all the way into my 40s. And I'm replaying, replaying, replaying, and all of a sudden she showed up. All of a sudden I saw exactly why I had lost everything. And in that moment, I dropped to my knees right there in the, in the park on cement because I had moved into their street. And I just laid there in a pool of disgust, shame, humiliation, embarrassment. Um, I said disgust, right? Angst. Hurt, pain, sadness. I mean, it all just oozed out of every cell of my being. And so I just kind of laid there with Charlie, who was a very tall, lanky dog, just kind of over me going, hey, Mom, what's up? And people passing me, some asking if I'm okay, some not even, you know, concerned, and they keep walking. But there I was. And the next thing you know, I just kind of said, oh my gosh, I was that ultimate corporate tyrant, that bitch that no one likes, no one respects, no one follows, and yet just tolerates and/or are in fear of. And for many, many reasons, despite the behavior, the performance is so strong. The performance is so revenue generating, maximal, maximized production, highly contributing. But yet I wasn't the type of leader that anyone would want to have. Let alone as I was advancing to the point where I was going to be in a very key public role. And I finally saw that the reason why my mentor of 12 years had to let me go was because it wasn't the type of leader they wanted for their company, despite whatever it was that I produced. Whether that was in revenue, profits, clients, whatever the case might be. It just wasn't, it just wasn't the type of person that they wanted. And so they, you know, so he and others had no choice. And I just sat there bawling my eyes out. But eventually I had to get up and eventually I said to myself, okay, then I need to make a change. Now I know, now I know what I don't want, what I want, who I want to be and who I don't want to be. And now the, the answer to who am I is becoming, um, it is becoming fluid because now there's this, you know, kind of combination of who I was and who I'm working my way to be. I'm not there yet. I'm working my way. Can you, you know, relate to this? And therefore, that brought me such comfort and such relief, but also such determination to change. And so if anyone ever asks you, can a person change, really change, even 100%? Change? The answer is yes. The answer is absolutely yes. They just have to do the work. They just have to be willing to excavate their soul, dig deep, feel through the, the pain and the shame and the disgust, but also the hurt and the disappointment and the betrayal and any other emotion that comes up. Um, and, and that this could be you And you need to be okay with that. And you need to be okay with that because the person on the other side is going to be magnificent, absolutely magnificent. And what I say and always refer to as a powerhouse, whether at work or at home. So you just have to, if you're dealing with any type of insecurities, negativities, what I actually call bitches, and you're willing to work to shed them so you can shift to a place where you can actually create what it is you want in your life, then you just have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. All right, come get comfortable being uncomfortable. So there I was, um, I'm sorry, I'm looking for something to put up because I want to make sure that you have an opportunity to down download this. Um, but as I was kind of working my way through this, I then started getting excited. I then started getting such clarity and focus and persistence and determination to make these changes that I then also made the decision that I needed to share my story And I needed to continue journaling and documenting this transformation I was going through in order to help other people. And that was the moment that I decided to write a book and start kind of compiling it into a book to which other people can read and learn from. Now, where Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the title and now the brand, came from was I was at a conference out in, um, LA— actually, I'm sorry, it was in Vegas, out in Vegas, with about 1,200 other entrepreneurs. And it's a long story, but one major element of that conference that met 5 times a year, and they met from anywhere from 3 to 10 days, and I was going to be out there for about 9. But one major element of that particular conference is that you spend a great deal of time networking and meeting other people. And through that, you're also presenting a snap. It's like a short, snappy, 30-second introduction of yourself. And you're doing it not handfuls of time, you're doing it hundreds of times a day. As you go throughout the day from 6:00 AM to about midnight, um, and you're meeting people. And, and they even structure, you know, certain formats of events in order for you to purposely do that as well. So here I was, and I was at lunch. It was, um, 8 days in. It was a Friday, 8 days in. I am absolutely— and yet I knew I had to continue through. And achieved the goals that I had for myself for that week. So I sit down at lunch, everybody goes around, does their snap, but I'm almost in tears. I'm just absolutely drained and exhausted and almost emotionally about to break down. And a young lady comes and sits next to me and she introduces herself as Cassie Parks. And she says, I missed your snap. Would you mind sharing your snap? Nah. And I said, yes, I would. And, and, you know, and I said it in such a way that it wasn't curt or, you know, demeaning, but it was more, um, vulnerable. It was more emotional than that. And she said, oh, I, you know, forgive me, forgive me, you know, I apologize. And I said, no, no, no, it's not that. I'm just, you know, I'm just absolutely exhausted and, and whatnot. And then I did break down And I said, and well, she then noticed how emotional I was and said, so what's getting you so emotional? And that's when I broke down and I said, well, you know, over the last like, you know, 9 or 10 months, I've shed my corporate bitch that I was, and I'm really happy, but I don't know what to do about it. And she just kind of sat there and stared at me, and I'm like, what just happened? And she's staring at me and she's like, that is a book. I'm like, what is? She's like, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. That is what it is you need to do because you're so happy now and you don't know what to do. That's what you need to do is you need to write a book. And I said, well, I am. She's like, well, that, that's your book, is Shedding the Corporate Bitch.. And I thought, oh my gosh, she's absolutely right. Now, one clarification that I, that I didn't provide her, but I provided to others, you know, months later, was I also, at first I was writing the book about this nasty individual, this corporate tyrant myself, who, you know, recognized who she was and decided to make a shift. That was the premise of my book. It was a memoir. It was personal stories. It was this transition that I made into this person, um, and it was also part of the transition away from, from who I was into who I now was and wanted to be. And yet, so at the time it was about some— a person that people would call a witch, a bitch, a tyrant, what you name it. However, in the coming months and several years, when I really looked at why did I become this individual, I then realized that it wasn't about the person. It was about their insecurities, their fears, negativities, doubts. It was, it was about my fears, insecurities, negativities, doubts, feelings of intimidation, low self-worth, not fitting in. You name it. Those were the actual bitches, and those were what I was shedding, and I wanted to help other people to shed. So when people look at— and the whole, you know, premise of this, um, this particular, uh, live discussion was all about, you know, shedding the bitch. It's just shedding the corporate bitch is not really what you think it is, because most times people look at it thinking, oh, this is about a nasty person, and that's not what it's about. So it's about giving you the opportunity to recognize your own fears, insecurities, negativities, doubts, feelings of low self-worth, imposter syndrome, you, you name it. Those things that are keeping you from being the individual, being the leader, um, that you want to be, and that is keeping you from creating the riches you want in your life. And so what if you can acknowledge those and work to shed those, then you're, you're far ahead from most people who just want to kind of bury, you know, bury their head in the sand and never look up and recognize or acknowledge those things. So that is really the premise of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Now, As I was writing my book and recognizing that, um, recognizing that I wanted to share and help and coach and support other people, I also recognized that in order to get the word out long before the book was even published, I needed to find a vehicle to do that. And internet radio, if anybody remembers internet radio, was just coming, kind of coming onto the scene, and this is 2010. And so I jumped in, and that's where Shedding the Bitch Radio came from was I wanted to tie it into, um, exactly what I was writing about, what I was— the stories I was sharing, the people I was getting coached by, the lessons I was learning, um, the observations I was, you know, seeing in myself and in other people. And so I started the Shedding the Bitch podcast and turned it into a videocast as well. So the evolution was just very, very organic. Well, some people say, okay, well, you hear you're writing this book, Shading the Corporate Bitch, you're, you're certainly talking about it, you're speaking on it, you're writing about it, um, I would expect that you're working in corporate. And so, and this is anywhere between 2010 and 2016, '17, and I would say no, I'm not. And they'd be like, well, why? I mean, that's everything that you're, you're sharing and you're talking about. Well, if you've ever been through trauma of any degree— and trust me when I say trauma of learning that you're this nasty, nasty, nasty individual certainly doesn't necessarily look like trauma someone might, might have if they're in a major accident or have major health issues or have a major loss loss, something that is more physically tangible, tangibly more horrendous. However, you know, any— just like anything, mental illness is trauma. And so I, you know, I recognized that, you know, that was what I was dealing with. And there most likely were other people out there dealing with the same thing. And it didn't have to do with corporate. It could have to do with any life tragedy, any life situation that might cause you to really lash out on yourself and the world. It could be about cancer, it could be about being overweight, it could be about a relationship that, that went bad or a divorce, it could be about coming out of the closet. It didn't matter. But the amount of people that all of a sudden came to me, you know, kind of wanting to talk about and learn from myself through my transformation around shedding the bitch— I'll call it flat out— was all inspiring. But we also know that those individuals, regardless of what the trauma is, they will also get triggered by, you know, whether it's they are overweight and they lose tons of weight, but then all of a sudden they go to this big party and then they start feeling very anxious and stressful about wanting to eat, or they had a bad situation happen to them at work or at home and they decide that they're going to, you know, start, you know, gorging anything that's in the— in their refrigerator. I mean, every life situation that has any degree of trauma for someone will also have opportunities for triggering. Well, I recognized quickly in 2008, but also over the next, you know, bunch of years, that I wasn't ready to go back into a corporate environment because I was fearful that I would be triggered back into that mindset, back into that attitude. Back into that behavior. And there was just no way, um, on this earth that I wanted to do that. Uh, so I stayed away and I, you know, continued to work, um, and I continue to work with entrepreneurs. However, it started to change in late 2016 and through today, um, where I then was all of a sudden pulled into corporate, corporate opportunities, coaching, training, speaking, and sharing my story, and also using our Shift to Riches formula, which I'll also touch on in just a minute. So it's come kind of full circle, um, and, and it's why a number of happenings, as I mentioned at the beginning, a number of happenings are occurring, actually this week into next week. And that is that I have kind of threw myself into really wanting to dig into why people behave that way that they behave. And what do they need to do in order to shift out of a place that is holding them back and causing them to struggle and move them into a place where they can really be a powerhouse in their work and their life. And so everything from Ball of Fire coaching, what we used to do with entrepreneurs, has now shifted into working predominantly with corporate executives, hiring managers, and HR leaders. Because in a good amount of, of opportunities and situations, an HR manager will reach out to me and say, hey, I have this executive and they're struggling. They're not necessarily a bully or a nasty leader. They're just struggling being an effective leader. Can you help? Same with the hiring or team manager. Same with individuals that come to me saying, hey, I really want to polish my, my leadership style, my communication style, you know, how I influence and negotiate and handle conflict, so forth and so on. So the relaunch of, um, Ball of Fire Coaching, if you've been following us and been part of Ball of Fire Coaching in the past, you'll see that it's all been moved and targeting into that corporate environment. And I absolutely love it. Now, the reason why, because I'm asked that as well, well, you know, like, why all of a sudden now? Or even 4 years ago, like, what happened? What changed? Well, the Shift to Riches Formula I want to walk you through is what allowed me to work through, um, a good amount— I won't say 100%, but a good amount of the insecurities, doubts, fears, negativities, feelings of low self-worth that I experienced and that I instilled in every cell of my being. And it allowed me to shift into being a very confident bold, empowered individual, empowered woman, empowered coach, empowered, uh, business owner who now can craft and, and define and mold, um, my own experiences at work or at home to where it fuels me and not drains me or triggers me. So I just formulated a new sense of confidence and certainty that I'm not that individual anymore. And therefore, I really, really, really want to help corporate executives, hiring managers, HR leaders, and therefore, you know, I'm willing to risk being triggered and make sure that they have the support that they need. But yet I've yet to be triggered in the last, you know, 6 or 7 years that I've been doing it. Um, so take a look at ballafirecoaching.com, and I'd love your feedback. I'd love any input that you have. My entire team would. Um, and just know that we are here to support you in any way, shape, or form. All right, but let me get to, um, let me get to the Shift to Riches Formula. Uh, the Shift to Riches Formula, again, was something— it's almost like the stages of grief. It was something that 4 or 5 years into what I call my, you know, shedding or excavating of my soul process, I recognized that I too had gone through these stages. And it was these stages that allowed me to transform into the person that I am today. Um, and it, it, you know, it, uh, is now the foundation of everything that I do and everything that I share with my clients and they go walk through, and everything that I even talk about during these Power Hours or during, um, Shedding the Corporate Bitch podcast. And you will see— I should have mentioned that— you will see too that we also rebranded Shedding the Bitch Radio to be specifically Shedding the Corporate Bitch because of the fact that I really want to provide you not only my own experiences and tips and strategies and lessons learned, but those of experts around the world to help you be the powerhouse leader that you want to be at work and home. So you'll see that change as well, and you could always join in to Shedding the Corporate Bitch on Tuesdays at noon Eastern time or anywhere you get your um, your podcasts and Shed the Bitch TV on YouTube if you'd like to see my lovely face. Um, all right, so the Shift to Riches Formula. Again, this was something that I recognized, um, as I moved through my journey that, um, that allowed me to make a transformation, that would allow you to make a transformation, make changes in your life. If you're not loving where you are, what you, what you're doing, whom you're with, where, you know, then definitely take advantage of using this formula to help you work through it. All right. Now, of course, I won't be able to go into, you know, the depth of which the formula is, but we will definitely dive in so you can be taking notes and you can actually leverage this as of today. All right, so the formula is this. It has 5 stages, and it is basically at the highest level: discover, confront, and shed so you can create and accelerate. All right, so you, you'll notice 2 distinct, you know, areas there. Discover, confront, and shed is one, and then create and accelerate. So it's almost like, okay, here is where you're really excavating your soul, and here is where you are honoring your riches, and we'll get into that, but— and you're really exploiting who it is that you're now becoming. All right, so discover, confront, shed, so you can create and accelerate. So discover is exactly what we talked about earlier. It's asking yourself pages of questions and digging really, really deep into your soul about Who you are, who you want to be, what you want, what you don't want, what turns you on, what, you know, turns you off. A whole slew of questions to really discover exactly, you know, how you want to exist on this earth in this one life that you live that goes really, really fast. So a whole series of questions. And if you miss the questions that we discussed earlier, then when— once this is done, you can go back on the replay and get a series of those questions. All right, so just ask— start asking yourself tons of questions. Who am I? Who, who do I want to be? Who do I not want to be? Um, what do I want? What do I don't want? So forth and so on. Discover as much about yourself as possible. Now you can do that on your own. You know, like I said, through asking those questions and doing a lot of journaling. You could do that through meditation, through prayer, uh, you could do that through, um, uh, you know, trainings and education and even coaching. There's a lot of different forms of which you can take in order to do and walk through that discovery process. Um, One minute, I'm looking for something and I can't seem to find it. That's not exactly what I wanted, but that's what we'll— that's what we'll use right now. Um, so that's the Discover phase. Then the Confront phase is you need to confront everything that you just laid out about who you are, who you want to be, who you don't want to be. All of those questions you need to now Confront it. Now, confront for some people is kind of a very stabby type of word, and it's not meant to be. It's just merely, you know, kind of confront it, be honest, acknowledge it, um, account for it, take responsibility, own it, own it. Um, so you want to confront it, good, bad, and indifferent. Now, in this case, what I would always have you do is take two— take a piece of paper and create two columns. On the left are going to be the things that you're not really crazy about, about yourself, or about the people, places, and things in your life, or the when, where, how, what, when, you know, and what. Um, and on the right side is what you love about it, what you love about yourself, what you love about the people, the places, the things, the who, what, where, when, and how. So two sides. All right? And that's what you're confronting. Now, ladies especially, spend a lot of time on the right-hand side where you're confronting your riches. So the left is bitches— your fears, insecurities, negativities, things that you don't like or want about yourself and in your life. And on the right-hand side are your riches— those things that you want, those things that you— the talents and the expertise and the skills and the traits and the qualities and the beliefs you know, and just the features, everything that you love about yourself and your life and everyone in it and everything in it, so forth and so on. All right. So you want to, you know, confront both of those and spend time honoring your riches. And why I say that is it's really hard to confront. It's easy to, you know, to acknowledge them. You're probably scribbling, scribbling, scribbling. If someone asks you, okay, so what is it that you don't like about yourself? Yeah, you have no problem. On the right-hand side with your riches, so what do you love about yourself? All of a sudden it's like, you know, oh, I need time. And it's like, no, no you don't, no you don't. Every one of us have both sides, okay? So scribble, scribble, scribble, acknowledge and confront your bitches, honor your riches, and spend time honoring those riches. Because as I was going to say because those riches are going to help you, carry you through what you need to do to confront the things you don't want in your life. It'll give you the confidence and the energy and that determination and the persistence to do what's not comfortable, to do what's hard and painful. So be sure that you're, you're, you know, really spending time honoring your riches. Plus, you deserve to. I mean, how many times, you know, do you fill out a resume or you fill out a profile about yourself, or you answer a question? And again, you, you know, it's easy to come up with all the negatives, but it's, you know, but all of a sudden that, that award you get, or that accolade, or that compliment, you're like, ah, thanks, thanks. I— it was nothing. And it's like, no. Honor it. Honor yourself. Own it. You know, I accomplished this. Yes, I like my eyes. Um, yes, I am in a great relationship. Yes, I, you know, am very successful at what I do, and I'm really good at it. I mean, honor it. It's really critical, and it will carry you through any hard, hard times. Okay. All right, so that's discover and confront. And then you're going to shed. You're going to start looking, especially on the left-hand side, you're going to start looking at it and go, okay, so I need to make some decisions about what's working and what's not working in my life. And I need to make decisions, hard decisions in a lot of cases, as to letting them go, shedding them. Now this starts internally and moves outward, because the more work you do internally will help you then make those more external decisions that are harder, it'll make it easier. So start on the inside. Okay, I don't— what do I not like about myself? Well, you know, I'm insecure. Why am I insecure? And you start working on that. What's causing me to get triggered? You know, what's causing me to doubt myself? What's causing me to have imposter syndrome? And, you know, find the evidence that all of those fears and insecurities and doubts and activities are not true. And if they are true, you just acknowledge them and find support and help and tools to overcome them. But you, you know, you need to spend time really both confronting and then working on shedding. And trust me when I say, you start letting go the internal and the external people, places, and things that are not working for you, and and there'll be a sense of freedom and release and happiness and joy and peace and calm that you've never experienced before. Trust me when I say that, because I've been through it multiple times as I have worked on it over the years. So use that type of energy and excitement as you start small and working bigger to really fuel you. Okay, and to really kind of cause you to want to continue doing the work as hard as it is. All right, so now, so that's shedding what you don't want. And then again, you want to hold on to— obviously you're not going to shed your riches, you're not going to shed your riches, you're gonna hold on to them. So the shedding phase is really heavily weighted on all the junk and, and, um, not so much on your riches because we want you to hold on to those. And we want you to even, you know, look at them going, how can I be using them more and more in what it is that I do each and every day? I can't tell you how many clients I work with that, uh, they'll, you know, they'll want to make a change or they are making a change, whether that's a, you know, a, um, a role or a, uh business unit or a company, and they'll say, well, I don't, you know, I don't have the skills X, Y, and Z. And I'll say, you know, really spend time about what are those skills and traits and qualities that you do have that you're just taking for granted and you don't spend time really thinking about them. Most likely you have exactly what it takes. You are exactly where you are and you're ready for whatever is coming at you. You just need to believe in it. And so that's kind of what the Discover, Confront, and Shed phases are— is all about. Now, as you're doing this, and it's not a, you know, it's not a linear type of process, it's iterative. So as you're discovering, you're all of a sudden like, oh well, I'm discovering and I'm shedding, you know, all at the same time, and, and even confronting— I'm sorry, discovering, confronting, and shedding at the same time, and I'm already ready to, you know, create new goals. You know, I'm already ready to create new relationships and new opportunities for myself. So you don't have to wait to get through all those three, you know. Even as you're discovering something about yourself, you're like, oh, well, wait a minute, I did discover that I have these skills and traits that could allow me to do something different, something new. And therefore you start creating that and bringing that into your life. Um, and I can't tell you— again, I can't tell you how exciting it is to start creating, um, where— as you're working through these various phases. So as you're now creating the, you know, the new life, the new you that you want to be, um, you're then, you know, moving forward, and all of a sudden you're like, you know what, the goal that I set as I'm working my way through this, the goal that I set, it's not big enough, it's not challenging enough. It's not, you know, not rewarding enough, but it's, it's just not rich enough. I want, you know, I want even more. And so the next thing you know, you're accelerating your growth, you're accelerating the opportunities coming into your life and the relationships and all aspects of it. So you're creating and accelerating, and again, they're kind of mishy-mashy as well, which is a good thing, uh, and you're just kind of getting more and more and more excited. Now, does it mean that you never have a bad day in your life and ever again? No, of course not. Heck, I woke up this morning and I was kind of like, didn't get a good night's sleep. So I was very agitated and very kind of, you know, doubting myself about something I'm working on. And I got on, you know, the phone with my coach at noon before I even jumped on here. So no, but what it is, it's a tool that you can then start using on a daily basis when things start coming up. So then, yeah, this is it, Nicole. So I started scribbling out my discover, my confront, and then putting a new plan together as far as what do I need to do in order to get out of this funk and out of this angst and kind of move beyond doubting myself about this initiative that I'm working on. So, you know, it's— I'm not ever going to claim that all of a sudden someone is totally enlightened, um, totally, um, uh, self-aware, that to the point where they are— they never deal with an insecurity, doubt, or negativity again. But the Shift to Riches Formula provides you a tool to help you work through it, and that's the key. And that's what I really want for you, to give you a tool that you could be using to work through anything that you're dealing with at work or at home. So, and that— so that's the Shift to Riches Formula. Okay, uh, let's see what else. Um, so like I said, there's some great things happening at Ball of Fire. We are relaunch— or we have relaunched ballofirecoaching.com. We have, um, we have rebranded, uh, you know, 12 years of the podcast, uh, we have rebranded Shedding the Bitch. So you can always go look for Shedding the Corporate Bitch, um, out on any one of the, the podcasting, uh, services that are out there. Uh, and if you're not finding it today, um, because we just literally, um, kind of made that transition, then it's just a matter of the RSS feeds and the other platforms, um, catching up. So, uh, but you could look for Shedding the Bitch still. And we broadcast live on Tuesdays at noon, and then it's available, like I said, on Shedding the Bitch TV on YouTube, and as well on any one of your podcast streaming services. Okay. And if you should, you know, want to talk and have a question or have a challenge you're dealing with, or just want to understand more about how I went through the Shift to Riches Formula so you can also use it for yourself, then feel free to schedule a complimentary call with me. Um, that's completely from the moment you get on the phone to the moment you get off the phone, just purely about you, nothing else. And let me help. Let me kind of give you some guidance. Let me give you some tips and strategies so you can continue moving forward to be the powerhouse that you're meant to be. All right, so we will be back next Tuesday— or I'm sorry, next Thursday at 1 o'clock, taking your questions and helping you with your challenges. So be sure to tune in then. All right, all right everybody, we will see you soon. Bye!