Shift from Bitch to RICH with Bernadette Boas

Want to talk now? Okay. Alright. Hi everybody, how is everybody? Good. I am always impressed with Jenny's gatherings because they always have a crowd and they're always very lively. And they always have men at them. Which is great. So I want to quickly introduce, who has not heard me speak? I've been here several times and I know people from all over the city actually. So, good. I like it when, you know, some people don't know the story, but I'm going to say it very quickly. Because I want to get into giving you some tips and tricks around excavating your soul. So I'm one who likes to educate. I can talk about myself all day long, quite honestly. But at the same time, this is for you. Okay? So let me give you some background because many of you kind of gasp or laugh or something when you come in and you see this flyer over here around shedding the bitch. So I'll give you my 30-second pitch. All right? For 25 years, I was the ultimate corporate bitch, wreaking havoc on everyone I know, especially myself. Until one day that I was standing in the middle of a parking lot with a pink slip in my hand, and I was able to shed and melt away all the angst and attitudes and fears and insecurities I actually had about myself and other people, and therefore was able to shift all that to riches. And pursue a much happier, much more fulfilled, much more exciting life. So that's kind of my pitch, and I'll kind of pepper in some background as to why. So when you look at that term, and you look at that title, it really is about not a person. What I've learned about myself after 25 years, I climbed the corporate ladder, I was a global vice president of a major, major I ran a $1 billion technology company. In all rates, I was very successful. Nice bucket house, traveled the world, oversaw a large organization, global organization, and pretty much had any power, position, and prosperity that I wanted. And yet I was miserable. Because what I did was, I kind of hid and masked all my actual internal fears.— intimations, feelings of unworthiness, insecurities that no one would ever think when they looked at me. But I masked them behind this persona of a nasty woman. So then what I discovered in writing my book is I discovered that when I delved into why was I such a nasty woman, why did I let that happen, because I'm a very skilled and talented and and very experienced, and I've got tons going on for me. So why would I go down that path? And I realized it was just because of the fact that I wasn't sure, you know, how to kind of step out and own that security, that confidence, that smartness, that beautiful, that everything. And how many of us deal with that? How many of us have bad talking days to ourselves? And if you're not raising your hand, you're lying. And if you're not raising your hand, I wonder if it's because there's men in the room. Right? And the men, of course, don't because, "Ugh," they don't want to show that. But we all have them. And so therefore, excavating your soul, in my world, means to get rid of those, what we now call the bitches, or those internal demons that we have about ourselves. So that, actually, that brand, all the programs I do, the books that are being written, the, you know, TV concepts and whatnot that are being, you know, kind of formulated. It's really all about helping men and women deal with that internal junk in their head and their heart that's preventing them from moving forward and going after what they want in life. I gave up my job 4 years ago when I got that pink slip, and I said to myself, "I'm never doing that to myself again. I don't care how broke I am. I don't care how much I have to sacrifice and give up." I don't care how I, you know, it changed my total composition of my life. Lost every one of my friends, so-called friends. You can relabel, because when you change, other people don't like when you change, especially if you're changing toward the good, toward the riches, right? Okay, but yet what we have to do is learn ways to kind of say, you know what, it's okay that I lose some of those things because obviously they weren't good for me. I used to have these huge bashes at my house. I'm not here to brag, I'm just saying, to helping you relate. And these bashes would be 80 people, and I would spend thousands of dollars on the Christmas parties, and my house was beautifully decorated. And the minute I announced I was leaving corporate and I wasn't— I was going out on my own and I wasn't that person anymore, not one stuck around other than my family. I'm one of 12. Yeah, you can guess. So anyway, so I'm here to kind of get people, and I do it all around the world, to help individuals, men and women. And I really target women because of the fact that I think we just don't take care of ourselves. You as women don't take care of yourselves, and you forget about who you are, and you kind of sometimes don't even You don't know who you are. I didn't know who I was. I thought that I was this high-powered corporate woman until I realized I actually like to be up on stage and entertain and make an ass of myself. I just entertain people. So I'm looking to be careful not to offend. So anyway, so I— because we only do have a short period of time and I apologize for that, but I am all around town. I speak at a lot of organizations. And if you need a speaker for your organization. So if you want, and I do have meetup groups and bitch parties and other events and programs around this. But let me give you some tips, because I really do hope I can give you something to walk away with today. The number one thing that you really, to really achieve a rich, full, and happy life, is to really know who you are. Forget everybody else around you. I don't care what she thinks of me. Anymore. I used to, but I don't. I care about what I think of me, because if I don't like myself, no one else is going to, right? I'm still single, looking. And there's a lot of reasons for that, right? And I don't want that anymore, right? I don't want— I just want to kind of let all that garbage go, all that junk. So excavate your soul's dump. Getting rid of all that junk. So be present. When you walk into a room, whatever room that is, whoever it is that you're talking with, especially at networking events, don't worry about meeting this person, you're meeting that person. So pay attention, listen, and be involved and engaged, 'cause guess what? They can smell you. You business card pushers, they can smell you. I'm also known as a tough love coach, by the way, but they can smell you, okay? You don't wanna do that. You wanna build relationships like Jenny mentioned at the beginning. You need to be aware of your feelings. So, I always carry books around with me. So you need to like, every morning, listen, every morning I take 30 seconds and I jot down what I'm feeling, really quick. Spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, like where am I? Because if I can pay attention to that, I can make an adjustment to it. And quite honestly, I don't even get out of bed until I've done that. So when I wake up in the morning, I say my prayers, well, while I'm still laying, and I kind of do an assessment of myself. How am I feeling? And then it could be impacted by the time my feet hit the ground. And I'd much rather go out in the world in a joyful way than in the way I used to go out, which, trust me, you did not want to come across me in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, you just didn't. So I just journal every morning, and I'm not— I shouldn't say journal, because it literally could be, you know, happy June, good day, control day. I was trying to get my life under control that day. You know, just, you know, raining, parking, cleaning. And that meant cleaning was me. I was cleaning me, like internally, just focusing on me. So just being aware. And then the next thing would be to really understand and know what you Know what you want. Because a lot of people, I'll ask them, you know, what are your goals? What are your dreams? What do you want? I literally have people come up to me and they usually wait until after, and they'll go, Bernadette, what do you mean? Am I supposed to have dreams and goals for anything? Especially women, because they're so worried about the family and their children and their community and the PTA. And literally they'll be like in tears, like, what am I not doing? How do I do that? So you need to take time to kind of figure out what is it that you want and then put a plan in place to do it. And again, this other book is, I, you know, Ginny and those of you who have heard me before, I carry this with me everywhere I go and I have every specific goal I need to hit. And then I have every task, every day I sit down for 5 minutes and like say, okay, what do I need to do today? And my first one, and you've heard it before if you've seen me, is to rock womentag. That's my number one goal for today is to make sure you guys get something out of being here today. Okay? So you want to just make sure that you really understand where you are, what you're doing, and what you want, and then put a plan in place to do it and be very focused in doing that. And that's where it gets hard. So we can talk another time about, you know, some tips and tricks to kind of overcome that. Because what I do know is this: what you go out in the world in, whatever that body element is, is what you're going to get. When you walk in this room, you're going to get what you come in with, okay? If you're coming in to receive versus to give, you're probably not going to get either. So come and give. Be present. Be aware. Be who you are and know what you want, and you'll be shifting from poor to rich. Thanks, everybody. So they want to ask Bernadette, because you have a couple minutes for Q&A. Oh, please make your questions. And I do have a giveaway. If you all want to like hand out a business card or whatever, I have a book. There's a bowl going around. Oh, there is? Oh, stop. Yes. Tell us a little bit more about it. What's in the book? What did you— we're a church today. What are we looking to get from it? So the book is really— I wrote the book. It's been 2 years, it's only been out since August though. I wrote the book as an apology to all the roadkill I left in my way. Because when I realized how nasty of a person I was, because trust me, I didn't know, and when I knew, I didn't— wasn't paying attention to it. I liked it. I liked making humans feel intimidated. I liked making you squirm. I liked being one up over you. Okay? I'm just telling you. And so when I realized that, When I realized that, I was like devastated. I mean sickly, on the ground devastated. So I thought, how do I apologize to 25 years of people? And someone said, write a book. So I wrote the book as an apology. So it kind of explains my background as to why did I make the decision. And then where this helps people is to understand why do you make decisions to be who you are, good or bad. You know, why do you make a decision to like be nervous and not feel good enough to go in and ask for that sale and close it? How many of us relate to that? You know, it's kind of a background leading up to why I went into this state of mind and then what impact it had. Because it had an impact on everything. I have high blood pressure. And granted, it's hereditary probably too, but I have high blood pressure, I've never been married, you know, yes, I had a big bank account, blah, blah, blah, but at the same time, what you see about a person materialistically, physically, and internally is not necessarily who they are. So it kind of gave you cringing smoothie bags. But now we work on, we actually, that it's been bizarre. That's now 75 books. It's a whole brand around any bitch that you deal with, whether it's about divorce, menopause, dealing with cancer, raising kids, getting, you know, being single, coming out of the closet. People like a chicken soup for the soul. And people bring it to, you know, bring their stories to me and I say, "Well, you can write your own." You know, whatever that might be. So it's kind of that. Yes? Have you run across anybody that you used to work with or to apologize? Well, go to Amazon and look at my reviews. You'll see some people. But the answer is yes. And yes, I, you know, I apologize. I'm not that person. I, you know, it's amazing how drastically, you know, different I am, but I ran in on the road, before I turned it over to the publisher, a last chapter called the Facelift, because when I started running into people I used to work with, they literally asked if I got a facelift, because I didn't look like the same woman. I said, no, I just let go of the bitch that was on my face, you know. Yeah. Anything else? Thank you very much.