Shift from FEAR to CONCERN (including over Coronavirus)

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindset so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you? Happy, happy Tuesday. Happy March 10th, if you can believe it or not. I hope you're having a beautiful day wherever you might be around the globe. I, um, I thought about what, what it was, um, that we could talk about. We had planned, and we will be talking about mindset. However, with everything going on with the coronavirus, I thought we would kind of gear that conversation into kind of an overarching conversation about fear, concern, attention, and as it all pertains to your mindset. So that's what we're going to do today is just try to quell, quell the anxiety and the stress and people freaking out. And, you know, maybe all what, you know, what we all need to do is just turn off the TV and the radio, because the media doesn't help in kind of creating kind of this firestorm of anxiety that people are feeling. And we'll get into all of that in just a minute. We've had some great past shows. Last week— last week, and this I will actually apologize— last week we replayed our April Ask Bernadette episode. Now, I have no problem doing replays, you know, at all, because of the fact that many of you don't have an opportunity to listen to it at that point in time, and maybe just didn't have an opportunity to get around to it in the weeks that followed. So replays are not a bad thing at all. Unfortunately, though, it was kind of a last-minute decision because I just— plain and simple, taking accountability— I I just got so overwhelmed, which is one thing we'll talk about with mindset, that I kind of really went right past it and right past planning for the show. And I'm okay in owning up to that. But the— part of that episode that we did play certainly has some great information. When we originally broadcast it, we talked about finding qualified candidates. And keeping them. So I get a lot of questions from you in regards to your business, your team, your company, whatever the case might be, and just how do you get those qualified candidates and keep them. And then another young woman asked about her relationship. How do you know if the man that you're involved with and/or partner you're involved with is the one? And how do you, how do you handle it and confront it if you realize he or she is not. And then we also talked about how to quiet the noise inside your head, which is a great segue into our conversation today because that is what mindset is all about, is all that, all the noise that goes on and how do we shift it, how do we quiet it, how do we make it more productive. And work for us. Previous to that, we've talked about lessons of a bitch. I'm asked quite a bit in regards to my past story, my work that I do, predominantly being with individuals that are just struggling with their performance, with their productivity, with their attitude, with their behavior. Either they recognize it within themselves, as I did many years ago, or someone's pointed it out to them and they've been asked to address it before anything of consequence might happen. So we talked about Lessons of a Bitch. I had Kathleen Carrigan, one of our most popular guests that we have on. She had published her latest bestseller, Reading the Fall, and so we talked about that. We had power of habits, time management hacks, you name it. So go out onto sheddingthebitch.com and scroll down, you'll see our radio channel there. You can go right to blogtalkradio.com for all the episodes, and of course you can download them all on Apple Podcasts, so you can check them out there as well. So in regards to today's conversation regarding mindset, if you choose to want to hashtag with us and post and tweet, you can do that with #mindset, #transformation, or #shedthebitch. And we'll be looking out for all of that and sharing comments and feedback along the way. All right, I'm going to take a quick break just because I feel I'm about to start coughing. And no, I'm not sick. And when we get back, we're going to dive into this conversation regarding mindset and what can we all be doing to kind of squash the fear and anxiety and stress that many people are experiencing as a result of the coronavirus, but whatever else is going on in their lives as well. All right, we'll be right back.

Shedding the Bits Radio is available for download anytime on Apple Podcasts, sheddingthebits.com, and blogtalkradio.com. Be sure to subscribe subscribe to the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. I want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Including mine. Email Deborah at deborahparker.va@gmail.com. Would you like to reach our audience as a sponsor or advertiser? Email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Now let's get back to the show.

Welcome back, everybody. We are talking mindset, and I think it's a great conversation to have right now. And something that we each individually and as a community can really, really, really be focusing on is what are we creating inside, you know, inside our own, you know, spirit, soul, mind, you know, between our two ears. What kind of anxiety, stress, overwhelm are we actually self-inflicting? And I think where, where the coronavirus is concerned, it's It's one of those, one of those situations where we can be in, if not 100% control, we can have a very, very high level of control over how we respond to this. Now, I say that we're not 100% in control because you certainly have full control over how you respond to it. You don't have full control over the fact that you go out into the world not wanting to hibernate, not wanting to isolate, not wanting to distance, and yet there's that risk. But I think it's really important that we all go at it very consciously, very logically, and very unemotionally. Because I always speak about fear being that acronym that means false evidence appearing real. So if you apply that against this whole potential pandemic, it seems as if, well, that fear is actually real, that we could all, you know, we could get sick, we could have some real devastation amongst our communities, amongst our states, even the country. At the same time, that fear is being created because, yes, You know, beyond getting sick, people, you know, are not only not losing their jobs as much as they can't go to work, and they're not sure then how their employees are going to respond to them being paid. The cost of supplies are going up. The lack of products is increasing, and people are definitely getting very, very, very anxious about it. I was at Walmart a few days ago and had nothing to do with, with the virus. As a matter of fact, I have been self-isolating myself for probably about a month by choice in just that I've been working on some projects and some programs that has caused me, you know, just to be heads down in my house, in my office at home. And not needing to be out and about other than running to the store or whatever the case might be. So I've kind of, you know, not gotten out there worried about supplies and really seeing kind of the evidence of some people's fears, some people's desperation, some people's unknowns, until I, you know, landed up going to Walmart a few days ago because I simply wanted to buy some Lysol spray for my house because I just had several dogs staying with me for a number of days and it had been raining constantly. And, you know, if any of you have dogs, you know what dog dander can smell like. So I nearly went out trying to find something to, you know, disinfect the house and make it smell, you know, pretty. And yet couldn't find a darn thing. Couldn't find a spray. I did find Febreze, but, you know, they do talk about how Febreze might not be good for dogs. And, and I, all of a sudden it hit me as I'm looking at the empty shelves where the disinfectant wipes, the disinfectant sprays, you know, all those things were concerned. And it hit me and I thought, wow, wow. You know, people are getting— I'd like to think that they're getting proactive and preventative, but it did appear to be more out of fear, out of the unknown, out of desperation. And so I thought to myself, okay, wait a minute. We're certainly not 100% in control as to whether or not we brush up against somebody and, you know, they happen to be sick, whether that's the flu, a fever, or this coronavirus. At the same time, does it need to create fear within us or merely concern? Do we need to get anxious and stressed and overwhelmed and lose sleep and, you know, have a poor attitude and, and be walking around grasping, you know, for products and, and for services, you know, like help? Or do we just merely need to ensure that we're putting the proper things in place to minimize and/or mitigate ourselves being impacted by it? So I wanted to kind of share with you and talk with you about the difference between being in a state of fear or being in a state of concern and prevention. Because I see those two things very, very differently. Again, fear, false evidence appearing real, or concern being, okay, so I am concerned about my family, I'm concerned about my job, I'm concerned about the community, you know, I'm concerned about the kids and the elderly. But with that concern, I'm just going to, you know, then go follow these steps. And it's a matter of, you know, also whether it's fear or concern, having the knowledge that will allow you to make very logical decisions. And you can't make very logical decisions when you're living in fear, when you're living in desperation, anxiety, stress. Your ability to think clearly and logically and unemotionally is very, very skewed. Think about it. You know, forget about this virus situation. Think about when maybe, you know, you did lose your job or you didn't have enough money to pay the bills or you did have a health situation, whether yourself or a family member, whether you did lose somebody, whether you were in an accident. You know, with all of that, however it affected you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically,— it left you in a state, if not a state of paralysis, but a state of fogginess, a state of not really being able to look at things clearly. And it's nothing external, it's more internally where your head is at. You know, what your thought processes are, what the words you're using, you know, to yourself and to other people. What they look like or sound like or feel like. There's so many other internal factors, let alone external factors, skewing your ability to look at things rationally. And yet if you look at it with concern, that automatically puts you in a state of, okay, I am concerned about this, and these are the— because of these reasons, these impacts. And if it is family, friends, you know, work, community, what can I do proactively to prevent anything? What can I do to get ahead of the curve? What can I be doing to ensure that I have the least amount of impact as possible? Regardless if it's about this virus or any other life situation that, that creates anxiety, stress. Overwhelm and fear. And, you know, so you're looking at— when you're looking at it through concern and prevention, you're saying, okay, I need to educate myself. I need to kind of— whether it's online, whether it is the TV, the media, you know, friends and family that may be in the medical profession, whatever the case might be, it could be where you're educating yourself. What are, you know, what are the risk factors? What are the symptoms? What are the high potential areas that I need to stay away from? And, you know, parents right now with their kids in schools, and/or if they're teachers themselves, and/or in the medical profession, you know, there's very few that aren't at risk. At the same time, all of those individuals— parents, the medical industry, the school system— they all just need to be looking at this thing logically as far as prevention, with concern, but without panic, without fear, because that just sends everybody into a tizzy and doesn't allow us to, like I said, to kind of look at things very logically, very unemotionally. And very effectively. So you say, okay, I'm going to look at it with concern and with the idea of prevention, being proactive. I'm educating myself. I'm taking the steps that, in this case, I'd be listening only to the CDC, as opposed to, you know, what the news media is even saying without representation. From the medical profession, with, without representation from the CDC, you know, and sadly even our government heads, leaders, are not leaning on that type of information. They're leaning more on their own assumptions. You need to be extremely careful where you get your knowledge, but you want to definitely Educate yourself, inform yourself. And this, again, this goes to any type of life situation that might be going on in your world that's skewing your mindset, that's skewing your attitude, your behavior, your emotions, your thoughts, your words, your actions, um, any— anything. You can be looking at it through a lens of fear, or you could be looking at it as through a lens of concern, of which you then are in a state of being with concern that you can put a plan together. So you're educating yourself, you're taking the precautions, listening to the experts, you know, and the precautions, since we are talking about it, you know, cleaning hands regularly. Now I did see, and I am not a, you know, a medical professional, I'm merely wanting to share what my learnings and what I've been picking up on. And so I was watching Dr. Aube the other day, and he was actually demonstrating, being that he's a surgeon, demonstrating how you can be cleaning your hands that is far more effective than just simply putting soap on and rubbing them together underneath hot water. You know, surgeons and doctors, they go through a whole procedure ritual in order to effectively clean their hands. And so that's a, you know, you can Google that and find out what that is beyond the sing Happy Birthday twice and wash your hands for 20 seconds. There's actually a process, a procedure for how to wash your hands effectively. And then of course, you know, they're recommending, and that's why the wipes, hand wipes are sold out. But, you know, whether you carry them with you or when you're out in public and you're using a barrier between you and something else or someone else, you know, you're not touching guardrails, you're not touching signs, you're not touching handrails, you're not touching the doorknobs as you're entering and exiting a store or a bathroom, whatever the case might be. And then, of course, there is that distancing of yourself. I mentioned that I had been kind of self-distancing for the last, you know, month or so. But there is, it's kind of like, okay, so what are those, you know, what are those activities, where are those places that I absolutely need to be, but you know what, I can postpone or cancel or do something different. So, you're kind of distancing yourself and being smart about where you're hanging out and what you're doing or not doing. Doing. You know, and then when I am very sorry, sorry, sorry for those that are affected from a work perspective, because I was thinking about it, I'm like, wow, well, fortunately I'm not affected by this because I don't have to go into an office. I don't have to, you know, depend on my employer to pay me or not pay me. And then I thought to myself, well, yes you are. I mean, I know I work for myself and I don't have anyone to report to, and I don't have anybody kind of handing me my paycheck, I do have clients. I do have clients who are in the situation where if they're not producing, if they're not, you know, selling their products and services, it's certainly going to impact where they spend their money and therefore will impact whether or not my services and my products are able to sell and therefore whether or not I'm able to, you know, earn and be rewarded with a paycheck from a client. So, it does and is affecting everyone all around. Again, though, so for those of you that work for a business, work for a company, you talk to your employer. You even give them ideas, suggest options as to how you might be able to work, whether or not, you know, do I have to be in the office, can I work from home? Can we, you know, work in smaller groups?, you know, and find locations, you know, outside the mass, you know, crowd of people in the big office, you know. And then when it comes to pay, you know, discuss with them options in regards to that, or at least, you know, seek that information from them as far as what is going to happen if, you know, all of a sudden our business starts to take a hit. What is that going to do for, you know, you being paid? And of course, you know, the government states that there's some things that they're working on. I personally would wait for that. I would, you know, seek options and alternatives for yourself. But most importantly, and then we'll move on specifically from the coronavirus, but most importantly, you need to go on living. And yet this pertains to any situation, any, you know, upheaval that you might have in your life. You want to— you certainly want to allow yourself to feel it, experience it, wallow in it, cry in it, be pained through it. But the difference is, are you there for 5 minutes or are you there for 5 years? Are you there for 5 hours or are you there for 5 weeks? You know, so it all, again, really comes down to your mindset and your attitude and your behavior and your actions and your emotions and your thoughts and what you want it to be in control of and what you're going to allow other factors, some of which are in your control and some of which are not. Affect you. So there, it always comes down to you having a choice as to how you handle it. And, and again, the mind, what goes on between your two ears, has everything to do with that decision that you make, that choice that you make as to whether or not you're going to, you know, kind of feel it for a little bit but then move forward, or are you going to let, let it drag you down and, and just lay there and swim in it. And all I'm going to suggest that you do is consider certainly being human and certainly feeling it and experiencing it and living in it, and yet make the decision proactively through concern and prevention. You make the decision proactively to say, I'm going to give myself this amount of time to, you know, to feel what everyone else is feeling or feel what I'm feeling. And yet, you know, by the end of this day, by the end of tomorrow, whatever the case might be, I need— I will then kind of hit the switch, hit the reset button, and move on from it. Because you, you're— you still have to live, you still have to experience life, because you don't want to look back and and say, wow, I just spent the last week, the last month, the last 6 months, last year all consumed in this so-called pandemic, even pandemic of anxiety and fear and insecurity and doubt and negativity. And yet there was no reason for me to have, you know, felt that, have experienced that. And I lost— because you don't get it back, any amount of time back, not even a split second back. Once it's used, it's used and it's gone. So, you know, from a mindset perspective, make the decision that you're going to allow yourself to feel, and then you're going to ensure that you're moving on from it. Because some— a number of people come to me and are always like, Bernadette, you make it sound so simple, you make it sound so almost flippant. I had somebody actually say to me, you know, you must not have ever gone through anything to make it seem as if, oh yeah, I'm just going to wake up one morning and the sky is going to be blue and there'll be rainbows and butterflies. And because it's not that easy when you're down, when you're down in that muck and feeling it and experiencing it. And I'm sorry, but they're wrong. And I've told them I've been there. I have been there, done that. And again, and sometimes a few of these experiences were really easy to overcome. Some of them dragged me down for decades. And if any of you know me and know my backstory, you know, it was decades until I was able to kind of come out of my— junk out of my pitches, as I call them, and, you know, find those tools, find those strategies, find those techniques to kind of keep my head in the game. Literally, the head in the game. What's going on between two ears, keep that in the game. And, you know, allow the noise to be there, but then find the tips and the tools and the strategies to quiet that noise. More so than allow it to control. It's the bottom line choice. You allow it to control you or you control it. So, I just wanted to kind of make note of that. So, it's not easy. I will never ever say that getting a handle on your mind, on the noise, on the chatter and the chaos that goes on within ourselves is something that you could snap a finger out and be done with. It's not. And even when you think you have grown and evolved and you have the strategies to overcome, you know, the next thing you know, some other major, uh, rug is pulled out from under you, or under me, and all of a sudden you find yourself right back in that muck, and then you're, you know, it's again, it's okay, so what do I need to do to drag myself back out, or do I bounce out of it because I have the tips and the tools and the strategies that allow me to, you know, kind of shed it a lot faster, a lot easier, a lot more, a lot painless, a lot more easier, easily than I've done in the past. And, you know, this— the secret is you, you have everything that it takes right now to make that choice of having an empowered mindset or having a very strained and struggling mindset. And it's just merely, merely up to you in regards to doing that. So let me, let me switch— we're going to stay on the subject of the mindset. But let me switch— when we get back from a break, let me switch into a conversation about, from a mindset perspective, looking at it in regards to whether or not we have an abundant mindset or a lacking mindset. Because the way that you see in your mind, the way that you talk to yourself, the way that you live within, you know, your being, will definitely, absolutely influence the results that you get in any particular moment of any particular day. So if you've ever questioned, how do I kind of shift myself out of maybe a mindset of lack, a mindset of desperation, a mindset of concern and anxiety and doubt? How do I make that shift to one of abundance, of riches, of positivity, of self-love and self-respect for yourself? I want to get into that and provide you some, some tips and tools for you to be able to do that. So in about 54 seconds, we'll be right back. And if anyone listening, whether live or in replay, have any questions or comments, please feel free to go to our chat room right there on blogtalkradio.com if you're down listening to the episode there. You can go down into the chat room, and we are online watching that, as well as anytime on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bits pages. All right, we will be right back.

Shedding the Bits Radio is available for download anytime on Apple Podcasts, sheddingthebits.com, and blogtalkradio.com. Be sure to subscribe subscribe to the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. I want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Questions, including mine, email deborah@deborahparker.va@gmail.com. Would you like to reach our audience as a sponsor or advertiser? Email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebits.com. Now let's get back to the show.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking mindset. We started at the top of the hour kind of wanting to dig into just what's what havoc has been wreaked on our mindsets when it, as it pertains to this whole coronavirus pandemic or potential pandemic that's happening right now, and how can each of us kind of get control on it. How can we look at it as concern and prevent it, prevention, as opposed to fear. But I want to kind of switch gears because a lot of what I'm asked about is kind of more simplified. It's often, Bernadette, I just can't get myself out of this negative self-talk, out of this feeling, you know, desperate, out of feeling as if I'm always missing out on something or lacking something, that I always feel like I'm struggling, almost like a gerbil on a wheel just going around and around and around. And yet I always, you know, hear, you know, the law of attraction and the way we speak to ourselves and you know, creates, you know, what we put out in the world comes back to us, that kind of thing. What could I be doing differently? What are some simple things I could be doing? Because this whole, almost like I want to say, this whole woo-woo thing is a little hard to grasp for many people. And in response, I'll say, absolutely agree. I totally understand, you know, for decades 40-some-odd, 40-some-odd years, I never understood the whole personal transformation woo-woo— I'll call it the industry, but you know, the aspects and the philosophies and the theories and the concepts. I never really understood them. I kind of bulldozed my way through life, not worried about what's going on between my two ears, just worried about, you know, what I was putting out into the world. So totally get it. So please be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself in that, you know, personal transformation and growth takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and it does take some, some real soul-searching and grounding in order for you to, to open yourself up. A lot, a lot of it has to come down to you willing to be vulnerable. Forget about being vulnerable with someone else. Else, but even being vulnerable and truthful and honest with yourself. I can go on and on and on and on. So, the bottom line is this: be patient, be kind, just seek knowledge, seek to learn, seek to try, test, fail, retry, test, and fail, because eventually you're going to succeed, and eventually you're going to feel yourself and experience yourself. Experience yourself shifting, whether that's small steps or, you know, big, huge, giant steps. So, you know, just consider that. Even— I'm stuttering because I was recalling this morning's conversation. I was in my office with the TV on in the background, and I was listening to— I think it was Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson. And they were having a conversation. It came down to mindset, though that wasn't the word they were using. And Jennifer, or Jessica Simpson, was talking about her book. I don't know what it's called. But, you know, her story about falling down the well of addiction and alcoholism. And just because the fact of her not really feeling good about herself, not liking herself. Not respecting herself, and then kind of needing to fall all the way to the bottom of that well before she was able to look up and see some light and really be able to decide to make a change in her life. And Kelly was kind of echoing similar but maybe not, you know, the same situation that Jessica did, and both of them acknowledged the fact that that them making the choices to change all, you know, were very difficult, were very brave, very courageous, but it all came down to kind of how they saw themselves, how they were perceiving themselves, you know. And I took away that it also came down to how they spoke to themselves, how they viewed themselves in the mirror, how they allowed other people to treat them. So forth and so on. And so I think they healed a lot of people today in that, in that discussion, that 10-15 minute discussion, because people look at people like Jessica and Kelly and think, oh no, they have all the money and the fame in the world, they, you know, what would they be miserable about or hurt about or pained about, or what bitches consume, you know, them. And yet we are all human and we all have have pain. We all have insecurities, doubts, negativities. We all have bitches in our mind. So if, if they can recognize this and work toward it, just think you're no different. Just think you have everything that you need in order to make any small or significant shift you choose to make. And obviously, if you look at a Jessica Simpson more so than for me, than Kelly Clarkson. But if you look at Jessica Simpson and recall some of those, you know, major drunken, just self-destructive behaviors and experiences that she had, you know, on public, you know, broadcast TV, and she can get herself to where she is today running a billion-dollar business with bigger dreams than she's ever had before. That has to inspire any of us. Well, it inspires me to say I want, you know, I can get, pick myself up and lift myself out of any muck that I might put myself in as well. And trust me when I say I have, I don't come anywhere close to those type of pains and tragedies as far as, you know, down into the the well of addiction, alcoholism, drug abuse, whatever the case might be. So it's all relative to what you're going through, what I'm going through. At the same time, there's definitely things that we could be doing to focus on ourselves and to shift ourselves toward that rich, full, abundant mindset, as opposed to one of lack or desperation. So let's look at what it looks like, kind of what are we telling ourselves, what's the conversation we're having with ourselves if we're living in a mindset of lack or a mindset of desperation, a mindset of self-loathing, self-pity, a mindset of victimhood. It might, you know, it might look like something like, you know, I don't want to go after my dreams because I don't want to look foolish. I don't want to go after my dreams because my skills are— they're okay, but they're not great, you know. And it's just too hard for me to do everything that I need to do in order to achieve those goals and those dreams that I have for myself. And I don't have the money or the resources. I don't have a network of people. I don't have, you know, the office or the or the equipment or the store, or I don't even have a relationship or a family or children. I don't have anything that I'm going to be leaving behind, so I'm very comfortable where I'm at, what I'm doing. And if I were to achieve my dreams, great, but if I don't, okay. And if I were to, you know, fall in love and have a lifelong partner for the minute or the hour that I'm still left on this earth, okay, that's wonderful. But, you know, I don't— I don't need to be killing myself and taking risks and doing the things I need to be doing in order to achieve those things. Because you know what, I don't want to be criticized. I don't want to, you know, to make mistakes and fail, uh, you know. And I don't want to have to overcome anything more than what I've already overcome. That is a mindset of lack, of desperation, of insecurity, of doubt, of negativity. That is a, a very bitchy mindset as far as just what an individual with any of those thoughts, any of that self-talk, is experiencing within themselves. And I don't know about you, how you felt that or interpreted that as we walked through it. But even my saying it got me kind of a little bit angst. It got me a little bit mellow and blue, uh, even— and I'm just pretending, I'm just acting it, I'm just reading words, uh, so I can't even imagine, you know, what the person experiencing those those emotions, what they are going through and what they're dealing with. And so what we want to do is we want to find those ways to shift that into one that I call the Richie mindset, the one full of abundance, the one that is saying that, you know, they, they will go after their dreams and their goals no matter what because they're worth it. That, you know, no work is too hard when they know that the rainbow or the brass ring is as beautiful as they're envisioning, that they're willing to learn new things and they're willing to find those resources and they're willing to make those investments or even ask for money and opportunities that they don't have right now because they have the value proposition, they have the pitch that will, you know, ignite anyone to want to come on board and help them in any way, shape, or form because they're believing in themselves. And I, and I know I can do it. I know I'm capable of doing it. I know I possess everything I need right now in order to do it. And all of those more materialistic things, those external factors, Those are just things I need to, I need to manage, and I need to control, and I need to influence toward what it is that I'm going to be working so hard to achieve. And you know what, if people boo-hoo me, if people, uh, you know, kind of spit on my dreams or tell me I can't do it or that I'm not good enough or pretty enough, you know, I'm just going to like hold up my hand and say thank you very much, and I'm moving on. And I, you know, and I'm willing to make the mistakes. I'm willing to fall. I'm willing to make a fool out of myself. I'm willing to, um, you know, come off as if I'm self-promoting or grand— self-grandizing, uh, because I know that it's, you know, what I need to be doing in order to move my, my goals and my dreams, um, forward. And that type of mindset, if I, you know, hearing that, all of a sudden there's energy in my voice and there's you know, energy in my spirit. And that blueness that I felt just a few minutes ago sharing with you, the lacking mindset, is gone. And so you automatically, you start talking to yourself in those ways. It's why affirmations are so popular, um, because you start talking to yourself in those ways. You start using those positive, uplifting, productive, effective, successful, abundant words. And, and all of a sudden it's not that it's impossible, but it— you, you can't feel ugly, you can't feel negative, you can't feel unworthy, you can't feel lacking when you're using all of those abundant type of words and phrases and statements. And if you— and I had this conversation last week with a few people— and if you're not believing it at first when you're, when you're making those statements or those affirmations, Well then, I'm all for fake until you make it. And so you tell yourself these things until you start believing them. And trust me, you say these things and even if you put a sliver of belief in them, possibility in them, potential in them, wish in them, dream in them, you will eventually instill them, embed them into your spirit, into your soul, into your mind. And all of a sudden you'll find yourself moving toward that more abundant mindset. But if you need other things than just affirmations— they're great, they're wonderful, but some people, you know, need more than that— well, there's a number of things that you could be doing. You could simply— and, and initially, this is what I need you to do— you, you can simply commit to yourself that, yes, you know, at this very moment in time, I no longer accept where I'm at, and I'm committing to my goals and my dreams and my aspirations. I'm committing to me. I'm committing to an abundant, rich mindset and all the, the dreams and the goals that'll come as a result of that. But making that commitment to yourself is affirming, but it is also grounding you in the willingness to do whatever it takes in order to get there. Last week I had a Friday night, I had some friends over because I had mentioned to them I wanted to do my vision board, and I had not done it since the beginning of the year. I had my 2019 100% of my 2019 still very relevant. At the same time, there was some new things percolating as a result of all the work I did last year. And so I, I invited a few friends over with some cocktails and some delicious snacks, and we spent the evening doing our vision boards. And I would say there was 1, 2, 3, 4— there was 5 of us, and 1 out of the 5 really wasn't quite into it, really wasn't quite there with it. And hey, you know, I, I don't judge that. I don't have an opinion on that. It's simple— that, that was their choice. And I was pleasantly surprised because they saw and they witnessed the excitement and the fun and the commitment that we had toward our goals and our dreams that we were visualizing on these boards. And so the next day when I saw them, they, you know, they were commenting that they wanted to do theirs. They wanted to start it, let alone finish it. And I was very happy, again without judgment, without opinion, I was very happy that they came to that on their own and for themselves. So you have to commit to you. When you are ready, you know, it's almost like when the student's ready, the teacher will come. When you are ready and you commit that you want something new, something different, you'll be amazed at how the world opens up to you. And so I just ask you to make that commitment and to kind of let your guard down, become vulnerable, and be truthful about the fact that you want something. New and different, and then commit to yourself to going after it. Again, you know, I'm an advocate of goals, you know, so taking that commitment, not only being kind and patient with yourself through your journey, through your life, but then creating and translating, you know, your dreams into goals, things that are very specific, very tangible that you could be going and pursuing. And be open to learning every day. You know, I don't know about you, but I don't want to stop learning until, you know, I'm in a coffin, the nails are hammered down, and I'm 6 feet under. I want to continue growing because with growth— or I'm sorry, with learning comes growth. And I never want to stop growing. You definitely want to be taking risks and making mistakes. Than having missteps on a regular basis. You know, testing or failing fast is what I say. Start small and do the things that you're not comfortable with and do the things that aren't typically in your wheelhouse. Do those things that kind of send you a little bit unnerved. And trust me when I say the outcome will create momentum and energy for you to want to continue doing that and feeling that sense of accomplishment, that sense of pride, that self-sense of self-love and self-respect. Uh, you know, you want to definitely, uh, kind of really honor those riches that you possess. Uh, we have saying here, you shift from bitch to rich. So your bitches are your fears, insecurities, doubts, and negativities. Your riches are all your skills and talents and traits and qualities and values and experiences and expertise and encounters that make you the beautiful person that you are. So I always say, shed your bitches and honor your witches, and pay attention to those and really appreciate them because they will translate into that abundant, rich mindset. They will be what you can even start using right now at this very moment if you, you know, even if you don't do any work to shed any of the bitches that you, you know, that are holding you down. You can focus on the riches that you possess and use that as energy and fuel and a springboard into these mind shifts that we're talking about. And then certainly, you know, seek guidance, seek input, seek support, seek help, seek whatever it is that you need from, from someone else. Whether that's one person, a lot of people, whether it's personal or professional, whether it's someone local or someone, you know, around the other, other side of the world. It doesn't matter. Just know that you're not on an island by yourself. And, you know, be okay with saying and raising your hand saying, yes, I'll, you know, I need help. I want something new. I want something different. I want to shift. I want to have an abundant, rich mindset and an abundant rich life and therefore need, need my tribe to surround me and guide me. Nothing wrong with that, absolutely nothing, nothing wrong with that. So try some of those things, one of those things, partial of those things, and see where that takes you and see what kind of shift you're able to make. And if you do, I'd love to hear what your experience is, and you can always go to our Facebook or Twitter page, Shedding the Bitch, and share that with us. All right.

Ah.

And as far as the coronavirus is concerned, everyone, again, let's act in concern and prevention as opposed to fear. Fear is not going to allow us to get a good night's rest and be as productive and as effective as we need to be to take care of ourselves and the people around us. So let's look at it with concern, with appreciation. Let's get ourselves armed with knowledge and education around it, and then let's take the steps that have been discussed by, by reliable resources, not hearsay, and take those steps that will allow you at least physically and medically to, you know, prevent if not minimize the effect that it can have on you and your family. All right, so until next Tuesday at noon Eastern time, I'll look forward to hearing and seeing you there. But have a rich and prosperous week. Take care, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches To Riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.