Shift to Riches in 2019!

Blog Talk Radio.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose. And create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

888-818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. This is indeed Bernadette and it is a fabulous December day. I'm all worked up. I have to tell you right now, right off the bat, I am in holiday mode. How about you? How's it feeling? It is December 11th. I just, I honestly can't believe it. I say it a lot, but it is kind of scary how fast time goes. It's like a blink of an eye and a year has passed. But that said, it also brings excitement for not only the holiday, but also the new year. And that's kind of where we wanted to center our conversation today around. We are not going to get into kind of prepping and goal setting and whatnot for 2019, but more so what can you be doing as you're working your way through all the chaos that is roughly December 11th to January 2nd. Then you can kind of work your way into really thinking about the new year because I can certainly understand right now it's all about family, it's about friends, it's about wrapping up maybe what you're doing at work. Obviously there's tons of socials with all of those communities that you're kind of running ragged around. And what I just thought I would do is just kind of make sure that you have, you know, some time, as long as this episode takes, to just take a deep breath and appreciate where you are in the midst of all of that. Now our last couple of of shows over the last few weeks would be great resources and great listens if you were to go back because they did address more of how do I deal with a number of things that do go on this time of year. So let me give you a for instance. A few weeks ago we had an episode called Shedding the Holiday Bitches and Blues. This time of year brings a lot of lot of stuff up for people, a lot of angst, a lot of bitches, you know, are welled up this time of year for many people. So we really wanted to be sensitive to that and provide those of you that might be dealing with some sadness or depression or feeling lonely or just maybe just totally stressed out, we wanted to be sure to give you some support, give you some tips and advice, some hacks as to how you can just take a deep breath and really appreciate the time of year. But if you are having challenges there, then what can you do so you can at least minimize, if not prevent, that type of, that type of feeling, that type of not thoroughly being present and enjoying the season for what it is. And then last week was our, first Tuesday of every month was our Ask Me Anything or Ask Bernadette, and it turned out that as a result of our Shedding the Bitches— I'm sorry, Shedding the Holiday Bitches and Blues episode, there was a number of questions that came to me to kind of expand on some of those things. So our episode last week really was business-focused, work-focused, and I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to take out my earring. My microphone is not appreciating it.

There you go.

So what we did was we addressed simple things like, what do I need to watch out for? What gotchas are there when it comes to business socials? We also talked about, who do I need to buy a gift for? So some people had asked me about, where does my boss fit into this, or my team fit into this, or my assistant? Am I obligated to buy people gifts. You know, some people raised up, of course, this time of year always brings up junk when it comes to budget and money. And so we talked about that, 'cause it shouldn't, right? If we're really smart about it, we have 11 months, roughly 10, 11 months to plan for this time of year, and therefore we talked about what you could be doing come January 2nd in order to minimize, if not prevent, that bitch from welling up and stressing you out during a season that's supposed to be of joy and peace and love and family. And then we talked about, let's see, oh, we did talk about, and this actually came up with a client yesterday, and I had mentioned on the program last week that this time of year, I'm taking this question from a number of a majority, I'll say, of my clients. And that is, how can I feel comfortable and kind of engaging when it comes to going to social events that either I don't know a lot of people, or a lot of my not only colleagues but my supervisors and my, you know, superiors are going to be there, and even maybe their spouse or partner or In some cases, my boss when I was still in corporate always had his kid, his son with him, which was lovely, absolutely lovely. But so how do you— how does one kind of get themselves comfortable in that type of setting? So we talked a lot about that as well. So you can go back to sheddingthebitch.com, look for our radio channel, you'll see all the episodes updated there. You can go to right here on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch Shedding the Bitch Radio. You can also go to iTunes and pull them down there. And then we're working on, for the new year, a whole different format and definitely different access points for you. You know, podcasts, you know, pretty much you should be able to download and stream a program like this anywhere. So we'll be working on that and bringing you information regarding that so you can continue being part of the Shedding the Bitch community. But on this particular program, I just thought we could take some time to kind of just have you put the family aside for a moment, put the friends aside, put the business colleagues aside, put the PTA or the other community groups that you might be involved with, put them aside for just a few minutes to really just kind of give you the spotlight and give you the opportunity to focus on you. Of course, this time of year we all want to really intentionally and consciously think about what we're grateful for, what we've been blessed with amongst all the chaos. You know, all of a sudden Christmas music will start playing. I know I'll cry when certain songs come on because they just bring up such joy and such great memories. My parents are no longer with me, and with my 11 brothers and sisters and I. So, you know, there's certain songs, there's certain times I'm sitting around and I am talking with friends or family and we're talking memories that really just kind of create pause and create that breath, that opportunity just to breathe and think about, you know, kind of you and your place in the world. And recently, not recently actually, over the last few years, I started kind of paying attention when people were using the word legacy. I'm now 56, so I feel like, you know, 50 was great. 50 was fabulous. I felt so empowered and so free and so independent and so in control and confident. And I still do, don't get me wrong. But then I was hitting, kind of getting close to that 55 mark. And I'll tell you what, mortality, immortality, all of a sudden crop up into your, you know, into the forefront of your thoughts. You know, gosh forbid if I were to go and injure myself or get myself sick or, you know, I'm seeing people around me even at the tender age of 55 or 60 having strokes or heart attacks. I actually go to a gym that's a rehabilitation fitness center here. At, in Atlanta, Piedmont Fitness Center, and it's all around rehabilitation, and there's transplant individuals that receive transplants for hearts and lungs, and they're my age. So, all of a sudden, you know, mortality has been a center focus of my mind and my thoughts for the past year or so. So, I, you know, I really, kind of found it to be very soothing, very helpful to find these moments, find these opportunities to sit and get quiet and really kind of just go inward and, and can think of myself. And, and therefore you can take that time to really just give yourself permission to love on you. And if it's a minute, if it's 5 minutes, if it's an hour, if it's you know, a week, whatever the case might be, that's kind of— that's what we want to accomplish here and what we want to kind of think about when it comes to shifting to riches, as the, you know, program title for today was called. It's giving you an opportunity to not necessarily do the assessment of your year, which we will talk about as we're moving into the last week of December into the first week of January. That's always a very, very popular one or two episodes of conversation with you is people really wanting to get an assessment on where they've been and then putting a plan in place for where they're going. And we will absolutely, absolutely do that. But when I, you know, sat down this morning, I had a whole outline planned out. And when I sat down this morning and I started looking at that outline, And even where I am at right now, at this moment, and feeling that excitement and that adrenaline of the holiday season all of a sudden run through my veins, I thought to myself, you know what, they're not going to want to, you know, kind of— they want to take a breath, but they're not going to want to take a breath and get so heavy into thinking, oh, what are my goals, my dreams for 2019 and my life? You know, they need something— you need something simpler than that. And so I just will welcome, you know, welcome you and give you an opportunity to even just for a few minutes be able to just sit, take a deep breath, let it out very slowly, and just whether it's a holiday song or it's a holiday memory or it's a New Year celebration, that you can kind of bring forward into your mind, into the forefront of your thoughts, and just kind of sit with it and consider how that makes you feel. And I'm praying that it's joyful, it's peaceful, it's giddy, maybe it's excited, it's, you know, love, new love. There's a lot of it going on this time of year, and that's So exciting. So just wanting to have you really kind of ask yourself one pertinent question, and that is, how will you shift to riches in your life, in your heart? And what does riches mean to you, not just this time of year but all year round? We've talked in the past about, and I've told you my story time and time again, and my definition of riches, you know, 10 years ago, 8 years ago even, was much different than what it is today. It was very materialistic. It was very based on vanity and ego, whereas today riches is, you know, just full of color and full of joy and peace and happiness and security and stability and love and friendships and, you know, honesty, transparency, trust, um, authentic authenticity. And so this is an opportunity for you as well to, as you come go into December, you know, the rest of December 11th into the new year, what does riches really mean and, um, and stand for in your world, in your life, in your heart? And there you can kind of sit and rest in considering, based on that, what is supporting you currently in your world around that definition of riches for you, and what is not necessarily supporting it. Because then you can start that— what I'll call assessment, but it's also a shift— of really just appreciating that there's just times in our lives that we have to let things go that are no longer serving a purpose. And however you define riches for yourself should be that foundation, should be that base for the decisions you make about what you want in the new year and what you no longer want in the new year. I was asked the other day, you know, 'Well, you make it sound as if it's, you know, like turning off a light switch about my having to stop hanging out with this person or doing this habit or hobby or, you know, working for this company or working for this particular boss. It's not that simple,' she came back and said to me. And I said, 'No, it absolutely is not simple.' And as a matter of fact, one of my clients that I was speaking with last week in this— around this whole idea of her definition of rich is has drastically changed in just the last, you know, I would say about 15 months since losing her mother and going through things of her own. And now she's realizing though that her definition is now changing again after this past 15 months, and she's realizing she— there's things in her life that she would definitely need to shift from. There's things she wants to shift into her life, and there's things she wants to shift out of her life, and it includes people as much as it includes places and things and, you know, just everything kind of around her. And so she was— we were discussing the fact that, you know, that can create a very lonely space, a very lonely place for her. And I said, yes, it could for a time. And not lonely— there's a difference between being alone and lonely. Lonely. And so we got into that, in that you can sit alone and not be lonely. And yet you could be surrounded by tons of people and be extremely lonely. And that's where a majority of the people that I either work with or, you know, in some way engage with, and I can get kind of into their story, that's where I learned that they're coming from, is they're coming from a place of being surrounded with what appears to be loved ones, or appears to be friends, or appears to be acquaintances, and yet they feel as if they're sitting in the middle of it with a spotlight on themselves, and you know, there's kind of this barrier around them, and they're just alone. And very miserable is a little too harsh, but just alone and sad. I won't even use the word depressed. So I was talking with, I'll call her Dee, I was talking with Dee and just expressing that if she's made the decision that she wants this new definition of riches and that she's okay with making those shifts whether it's, you know, bringing things into her life or taking things out of her life, then that alone will be and feel okay. It'll be just fine because she'll be in a much better mental, emotional, spiritual, physical space for herself. And I had expressed to her— she knew my story— that, you know, that's what I had to go through for about a year. Back in 2010 roughly, is I was literally, literally in a room at a party I was throwing with a good 40 people. And when I expressed to them the shifts I was about to make in my life, the next thing you know, that room of 40 became a room of maybe 3. And for the next year, it was me and my dog Charlie. Sitting on the couch. But yet, I was the happiest woman in the world at that moment, at least in my world. And that's what I was expressing to Dee, and that's what I would express to you, is this is a good time amongst the chaos, not necessarily to put any big plans in place, like I said, we'll talk about that another time, but just to kind of really consider, you know, especially with all the joy coming into your life right now, or the, you know, I pray for you for that. And, you know, with the family and the friends and even the business colleagues and everyone celebrating through the new year, you all of a sudden will, you know, get pings of what those riches are and what they feel like and which ones you like and which ones you could, you know, do without. And so that is all I will leave you with in regards to thinking about what you can do in order to shift to riches in the new year and make the best out of, you know, the next 3 to 4 weeks of celebrations and of contemplation and reflection. And then, you know, ultimately, you know, those shifts that you decide to make. So that is the message that I had for you today, because like I said, I kind of took the outline that would have taken us, you know, to a full program, and I just went, this is not what they need to— what they need to hear today. So, Hope, I pray that this message on shifting to riches and giving yourself permission to take a deep breath right now and just really take in what this time of year means to you and really appreciate it for what it is so you can then kind of carve out a path that will lead you to everything it is that you want out of life as you go into the new year. So I'm going to leave it at that. I will mention that we're going to have a great conversation next week with— excuse me— with Lisa Corbin, and what we're going to be talking about is, well, one, she has a new book out And it's about cooking, it's cooking, especially for those of you who hate cooking, which I do. And I thought it was appropriate going into the kind of the Christmas week, the Hanukkah week, and the New Year's, you know, people preparing meals at that time. But more importantly, Lisa also had written a memoir, and this is what really struck me and provoked me to wanting to have a conversation with her even before the new year. She wrote her first book back in 2015 called It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. Lisa Orban, I'm sorry, I might have said Corbin. Lisa Orban. And if I could read it, what really caught me about this book this story, her story, is she basically says— I'll read her exact words— this book is about— what this book is about is laughing at the absurdity that is life, feeling joy in the simple act of being, accepting that even when life isn't perfect, it can be wonderful. It is simply my life as I've lived it, and I hope that along the way you will laugh with me, maybe roll your eyes, groan and shake your head, eager to turn the next page to see where the train wreck ends. That as you reach the end and close the book, you pause for just a moment and think, "Damn, that was one hell of a ride." And that in that brief moment, you can imagine me standing before you with a grin on my face, nodding in agreement. And that, reading that, and it's in her foreword of her book, I just was drawn in immediately thinking to myself, you know, this time of year that we're talking, you know, reflection and we're talking contemplation and gratitude and all of those things and shifting to those riches that bring us such joy in our lives, there's also a time to also say, you know what, I can relate to other people who have similar paths, but yet, and yet very different paths. Some are more profound, more tragic than others, and in her words, more absurd than others. And yet at the same time, there's proof over and over and over again that we can overcome, we can shed, we can confront, and we can eventually do away with whatever bitches are getting in our way of really creating and accelerating the riches in life that all of us deserve. And I thought Lisa's story, and even her cookbook, that'll be fun to talk about her cookbook, and especially for those of us who don't like to cook. But I did think it would be a great message this time of year to delve into her personal story that she wrote in her memoir, It Feels— It'll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting. So that'll be next Tuesday noon Eastern time. It will be pre-recorded, just as an FYI. I will be flying out to my— to see my family for the holiday, so we will be talking and recording her interview leading into that, and then we'll broadcast it right here on Tuesday at noon Eastern time on Shedding the Bitch Radio at our normal hour. So for everybody here, for Debra Parker of Parker House Virtual Services, who is also out there listening and managing the board and posting and tweeting out on Facebook and Twitter. And please do come to sheddingthebitch.com, give us ideas of what it is that you want to hear about, learn about, chat about, laugh about. If there's any experts or people out there who have great stories or great support systems that can bring the Shedding the Bitch community valuable insights, tips, and sometimes, just sometimes, tough love, then please always feel free to reach out to us on Twitter or Facebook. And we'll all look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Have a great week, everyone. Take care.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.