Show Up or Get Out!

Have you ever worked with a leader who is MIA when it matters most? Or maybe you've been that leader, busy, stressed out, and unintentionally distant. Today we're unpacking what it really means to show up for your team and why it's more than just being available. The truth is leadership isn't about just doing. It's about leading. It's about your presence. With and for your team. When managers fail to show up physically, emotionally, and strategically, it leads to confusion, burnout, and quiet quitting. We're diving into the mindset, actions, and behaviors leaders must adopt to truly show up. And we're breaking down exactly what it means to show up for your team in today's high-pressure corporate world. We'll uncover the most common mistakes leaders are making and the ripple effects that they cause. Lastly, you'll walk away with 5 powerful ways to lead with presence so you boost trust, loyalty, and performance. Let's get into it.

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. With more than 25 years in corporate trenches, Bernadette's own journey from being dismissed as a tyrant boss to becoming a sought-after leadership coach and speaker illustrates the very essence of transformation that she now inspires in others with her tips, strategies, and stories. So if you're ready to shed the bitches of fear and insecurity, ditch the imposter syndrome, and step into the role of the powerhouse leader you were born to be, this podcast is for you. Let's do this.

Over my many years of being an executive leadership coach to corporate and entrepreneurial leaders, those with zero direct reports to those that have hundreds of direct reports, I'll often be asked about presence, about showing up, being there for a team, trying to break down the confusion that one has about what it truly means, not to them, but actually to the people around them when someone says you need to show up. And so I wanna get into that as well as what are the mistakes and what are some strategies you could be using to ensure that you are indeed showing up for your team. And so what does it mean to show up? Think about that. What do you think it means to show up and be present for your team? Well, for me, it means that you are there for your people, even when you're not asked. And what I mean by that is, even though they can work independently, even though you give them an assignment and they go off and they know what to do and how to do it and when it's due and whatnot, you are always letting them know that you're there for any issues, any problems, any risks. Any advice, any guidance, any coaching, any development, any motivation, you know, basically anything that you're there for them without them having to be the ones to initiate that request. At the same time, you're also responsive to them when they do reach out. Now, this is a really big stickler for many people and for me as an executive coach. I'll often be told that an employee will reach out multiple times via email, via text, via Teams, via phone call, and they won't hear back. They won't get a response from their leader. And at first, trigger is that that is very unacceptable. But before I get there, I have to be sure that that individual is asking for a response, is requiring a follow-up. It has something in the context of what it is that they're looking for to trigger a response from their leader. At the same time, in the defense of the individual, this actually recently happened with a client mine. Say someone sends their boss kind of an FYI, hey, an FYI, I got this great feedback from one of the individuals that I support and I wanted you to know about it. Now, they're not gonna necessarily say, could you send me a good job back? Could you respond to this email back? Because it was an FYI. However, if you really wanna show up for your team, you wanna just simply shoot a note back going, great job. Attaboy, keep it up, whatever the case might be. It takes what, 2 seconds to do that? That's showing up. That's showing up. And you want to be there to really appreciate, to acknowledge, to coach, to develop, and to inspire your people on a day-in, day-out basis. Now, does that mean that you have to be sending thumbs up on a literally day-in, day-out basis? No. However, if someone does a good job, if someone does get that kind of feedback that they share with you, if someone is kind of struggling and seeking advice, and yet without even knowing or without them actually reaching out to you, you're recognizing that there might be a challenge, there might be a struggle going on, and then you reach out to them. Whatever the case might be, it's unbelievably critical and very motivating should a leader pay attention to what the needs are and what the wants are of their employees and responding to that. Now, I've talked about this on multiple episodes, but several years ago I was doing some focus groups for a client. And so I was traveling around. And I was interviewing employees up and down the food chain in the business to really understand the employee satisfaction, the employee effectiveness, the manager effectiveness, and overall workplace culture of the organization. And so it was a, a whole series of questions that I would be asking. One of them would be, what is the number one thing your manager/leader can do for you? You know, what would be the, the best thing that they could do for you? And the number one response wasn't money, wasn't gifts, wasn't lunches. It was a thank you. It was an attaboy. It was something to show that they are paying attention and that they appreciate the contribution that they're making, the effort that they're putting out. The challenges that they're overcoming, the skill level that they've, they've been improving, something. And so you really want to be sure that you are acknowledging, appreciating, coaching, and developing, and inspiring your people on a regular basis. And then lastly, I would say they need to know that you have their back. They need to know that if they are given an assignment, that they're not really familiar with, they're not really skilled at. One, you've given it to them because you trust them and that, and you want to help and stretch them. At the same time, should they screw up, should they make a mistake, should they fail at accomplishing what it is that they were supposed to be doing, they want to know that they're not going to get reprimanded, they're not going to get disciplined, but they're going to be supported. They're going to be coached. They're going to be developed, they're going to have someone that they can trust that will have their back, whether things go right or when things go wrong. And again, this is one area that many, many, many employees always want of their managers. And too often employees feel as if their managers don't have their back. And what does that come down to? It comes down to whether or not they fully trust that the leader, regardless of what might happen and/or how it happens, aren't gonna be there to really provide that coaching, that development, that inspiration, that support, that motivation. And instead, they come in with a hammer and with discipline. And that's not what your, your team members are looking for. That's not showing up for your people. So show up for your people by being there when they're not even asking, being responsive when they do reach out, acknowledge, inspire, coach, and develop. And lastly, make sure they know you have their back. Because ultimately there are consequences to any individual, any manager who isn't showing up for their team members. And whether it's short-term or long-term, there'll be burnout, there'll be disengagement, there'll be low morale, there'll be high turnover, there'll be loss of credibility towards you, loss of respect, loss of trust, loss of wanting to support not only their own goals, but support your goals. You wanna be sure that you are not the problem, that you're not the one creating those issues for your team members, for yourself, and even for the overall culture of your team in the business. You as a leader should be the one creating everything but burnout, frustration, disengagement, the turnover, or low morale. And if any of those things exist, you need to be well aware of it and you need to Put yourself in an office with a whiteboard and really reflect and contemplate on how do you solve that problem? What do your people need? And then you go out and you ask them and engage with them to figure out what's working, what's not working. What do you need? What do you not need? How can I support you? How can I be present and show up for you each and every day? So you do the best job you can do, which will make my job that much easier, and I'll be able to perform at my best as a result. So now that we understand what showing up means and we understand the impact of not showing up, let's talk about the dimensions of showing up. What does that really look like? So painting, painting a picture that you can actually visualize and walk into So you can assess yourself as far as on a scale of 1 to 10, how well am I present and am I not just available, but I'm showing up for my team members. So the first one is obviously the physical presence, making sure that you are touching base with your team members. You do have regular check-ins, whether that's as a group or one-on-one. Now. There'll be those that then consider that to be, oh, well, I don't want to be that helicopter boss. I don't want to micromanage. I don't want to seem as if I'm getting into their business. Well, that only comes down to how you structure that check-in. If that check-in is very minuscule, minute, detailed. Task-oriented, status-updating only. And it does seem as if you're getting into the muckety-muck where no leader belongs. But if you are getting into the muckety-muck and not trusting them to be able to navigate and handle and accomplish their, their tasks, then it could be very well defined as micromanaging or a helicopter boss. But that's not what one-on-ones or regular check-ins need to be. It can simply be, so how are you? What's working? What's not? What do you need? How can I support you? Very simple. Doesn't have to be even a half hour, let alone an hour. Regular check-ins can be 10, 15-minute conversations, just so they know that you're there for them. Just so they know that if they need something, you're responsive and you're open. To hearing it and supporting them in it. I would say the next one would be walking the floor, as many will call it, or making sure that they know there's an open door policy. Now, walking the floor— I come from a retail background where we actually literally walk the floor, whether it was in a department store, whether it was the corporate offices, whether it was the plant. We would walk the floor and I specifically would walk the floor and just make sure that I was touching base with all the employees that were there, or even customers when, especially when I worked in retail, just so they knew that I was physically present and available to them. At the same time, if you're remote and you're walking the floor via Zoom, It's a matter of just kind of checking in. You can even walk the floor by shooting an email, shooting a text, you know, getting onto Teams and just saying, hey, how are you? How are things going? Do you need anything? Just know that I'm here. So walking the floor can come in various ways and you can get creative about it. What does it mean to walk the floor? And I will advise a lot of my clients who often are in corporate offices, manufacturing plants, I will ask them and challenge them, or challenge them to go and walk the floor. Get outta your office, get out of, you know, your location on the campus, so to speak, and go and, you know, go to the next building and visit your employee. You know, go down to the, go down to the plant, go up a floor or down a floor. And check in on people, walk down the hallway and knock on someone's door, pop your head in and just say, hey, how, how are things going? And the last thing I want to hear as a coach, uh, most of the time from my client's manager than the client themselves is they have employees scattered around the office. And yet they'll still shoot emails or text messages to them. They won't get up and go down the hall or go across the campus or go into, into the plant in order to see that person. At the same time, that individual is complaining that their employee's not responding to them or their employee's not giving them what they need. And they're sitting there with the clock ticking of time being wasted. When they could have actually gotten out of their chair, walked across the hallway, across the campus, whatever the case might be, and had a face-to-face personal conversation with the people that are there to help them achieve their goals. Please do your best, again, whether it's virtually or it is in person, to get up out of your chair and get up out of email or text. Or teams, and if you have the opportunity, go and knock on someone's door, go in and walk and just say hello to individuals throughout the day. It doesn't have to be every day. I challenge my clients often to do it 3 times a week. Start with 3 times a week. And if it too much, too little, it can't happen every week, but at least make an attempt to put that into your routine. Your employees will probably at first be uncomfortable with it because they'll be like, why are you here? But at the same time, you can engage them in the fact that this is what you want to be doing now, alert them to it. But at the same time, they'll get used to it and they actually might welcome it and look forward to it. Then getting the open door policy across is It's really important. And this goes back to what, what I mentioned at the very beginning about being responsive. It's really important for your people to know that not only do you have their back, but you are there for them. If they need you, they can trust that you will create a safe space for them to come and bring up challenges, issues, risks, opportunities. Maybe they have an ask. Maybe they want to ask for a promotion, want to ask for a raise, want to ask to be considered for a project, whatever the case might be. And they need to know that they can do that at any point in time. They can reach out and say, hey, can we have 10 minutes in the next couple of days to talk? Or can I schedule a one-on-one with you over the next week? And, and I'll put it on your calendar. They need to know that you not only will be responsive when they're kind of transactionally reaching out, but that you're also there and you have an open door policy to hearing and learning and considering and understanding what it is that they might need. And then lastly, when it comes to being physically present, if you're having standard weekly meetings, or if there's a special meeting coming up or a special presentation coming up, then ensure that you're actually letting your people lead those things as opposed to just you. Initiate those meetings involving them as opposed to talking at them. And make sure that it is a collaborative, engaging, mutually sharing opportunity for everybody. Now, there'll be some meetings that can't be that way. There'll be some meetings that you have to go in and you just have to state what you need and make sure everybody understands it. And then end the meeting and that's that. But majority of the meetings that I know my clients have on a regular basis, they could certainly be structured in such a way that the leader doesn't necessarily have to always be doing the adding, you know, the, you know, the talking, the directing, the delegating, the dictating. They can actually involve the other team members in the conversation, in the planning, in the problem solving, in the collaboration. And then that way, every— they feel like when they come, they're going to be actually actively contributing, not just being talked to or talked at, I should say. That's being physically present. Now, they also need you to be emotionally available to them. They need to know that you are empathetic to their needs and wants, empathetic to the problems that they're having, empathetic to the struggles and the challenges that they might get hit up with, and that you can walk in their shoes and understand because you've been there before that there are ways through, there are ways to overcome, there are opportunities for doors to be opened. They need to know that you can relate to what it is that they need and want and desire. And you know, you'll work with them to create that opportunity, solve that problem, find this solution, whatever the case might be. Empathy, emotional intelligence is just absolutely critical for leaders today, cuz people want to know that you feel for them, right? It's about heart. It's not just about head. Head is doing, heart is leading. The other element of emotionally available is you need to be observant. You need to be self-aware. So then you could be picking up on when team members are struggling, when the team as a unit are disconnected or disengaging with each other and even with you. You need to understand what your faults are, a, as much as your strengths, and you need to be able to acknowledge those and work on those and be willing to change those things that aren't working while you're enriching those things that are working. And basically conveying to your team members, you know what, I'm human too. And even though I might have this title and this office and this position, I make mistakes. I have my faults. I have my blind spots. I have areas that I need to improve on just as much as you do. So ensure that you're very self-aware, you're paying attention, and you're recognizing the signals in your people individually and as a team. Of what might be working, what might not be working, and what they need in order to work through any of those challenges that they might be having. Lastly, a dimension of showing up is also then being strategically engaged with your team members, looking for opportunities for them to shine, looking for opportunities to showcase them, looking for opportunities to be able to advocate for your team, collective team. They wanna know, it's similar to having your back. They wanna know that you being the most visible. Another key element of being strategically engaged with your team is that you really understand what their workload is. To, I, clients will, what are you doing? Another key element of being strategically engaged is a leader really understanding what their team members' workload is. Strategically, remember. So you understand through one-on-ones and through status updates and through conversations of what their workload is, what their priorities are, and then helping them to reprioritize where needed. Remove any roadblocks, remove any barriers, address any issues, discuss with other stakeholders who might have expectations of one of your team members prioritizing their request over someone else's, so forth and so on. It's really critical strategically for you to really be able to work with your team members and ensure that they're working on the right things at the right time for the right reasons. And the right purpose. And that is all being very strategic and very much a leader. And also aligning your team's work to what the overall organizational purpose is. So not taking on projects or handing out tasks that aren't aligned to overall team goals, overall business goals. Even all the way down to you understanding what that individual team member's goals and aspirations and desires are and ensuring that they're working on the things that will help them achieve them. So it can get granular at the individual level and then toward the team's overall goal and mission for the, the team success, and then as well for the business success. So strategically, strategic engagement means getting involved with your team to the point where you can help them. So being strategically engaged involves you advocating for your team, you understanding their workload and helping them to prioritize and remove roadblocks, as well as then aligning your team's work to the organization's goals and missions. And aligning your team's work to the team and organization's purpose or goals. Presence isn't about proximity. It is intentional leadership. And therefore, being physically present, being emotionally available, and strategically engaged with your team is going to set you apart from anybody else and ensure that you are that intentional powerhouse leader. So what are 5 things you could do as of today to really ensure you are present and showing up for your team members? The first would be make time even when time is tight. Look at your calendar at the beginning of the month, at the beginning of the week, and block out time for your team members, whether that's one-on-one or in a small group or a larger group. Depending upon the number of employees you have, you might not be able to get it done in a week or a couple weeks, not even in a month. But at the same time, what you're doing is you're intentionally blocking out time for your team members and having a specific objective in mind as far as wanting to ensure that that individual or small group of individuals know that you are there, you're available, you have their back, you're advocating for them, you're willing to coach, develop, and inspire them, and that you have an open door policy and you are wanting to ensure that they have what they need to be successful because that in turn will make you successful. Then a second one would be lead with listening. Be sure that you're actively listening to your team member. If you're on a call, one-on-one or in a group, ensure that all other distractions are removed and you are there very present and very alert and attentive to what it is that they're saying, what it is that they might be asking for, what it is that they might need help in. And don't be the one to be sitting there and be like, "I'm sorry, I missed that." You know, I'm over here on my phone. I'm over here on my computer. I'm anywhere but present. Ensure that you're actively present and listening to your team members. Another thing you could do when it comes to active listening is ensure you're asking open-ended questions. Now, this is one thing that I must say at least once with every one of my clients. On almost every coaching call that we have, and that is ask questions, don't make statements. You don't wanna be just talking at people. You don't wanna be just making statements at people. You don't wanna be just dictating to people. You want a dialogue. You want heart to heart, maybe sometimes head to head with heart to heart and converse and actually collaborate with your team members. And in order to do that, it has to be an open dialogue. You ask a question, they provide you an answer. You then might have another question, or you might have a follow-up, or you might have, want to add, you know, some context to that part of the conversation. But you just don't want to spew statements at your people. You could also be using those to gather feedback, gather observations, gather the wants and the needs of your people. So what's something I might not be seeing right now that might be going on? What feedback do you have as far as what I could be doing better? How often do your bosses ask you that as opposed to just tell you what you could be doing better? What if you actually turned the table and you went to them and said, what could I be doing differently? What can I be doing better? What is it that you need? This is definitely a routine that I advise my clients to do is make those one-on-ones or those, you know, small to larger group meetings with your team, make them strategic in the way that you want to gather feedback regarding your performance, as well as what you could be doing for your team members. Your team members will wanna walk through fire for you if they know that it's important to you to understand what it is that they need from you that might be different than what you're doing today and/or might be more of what you're doing as you lead them. A third one that you could be doing is ensure that you're not the one putting the pressure on your people because the workload and probably the culture is creating that as it is. Make sure you're the buffer and not the bottleneck. Make sure that you're shielding your people from un— any unnecessary pressure. So what does that look like? Well, what that looks like is as transparent as you wanna be, especially in change, especially through chaos, the more open and transparent you could be, the more settled and calm and confident your people will feel, not only through the change, but with you guiding the change. But it also means that there's an understanding that you can't share everything. There are some decisions being made that you're not going to be able to share, but what you can share should be shared. You need to trust your people, and that's going to be through communication. That's going to be through engagement and connectivity. You really want to ensure that if there is any pressures coming down, maybe onto you, you don't need to be necessarily passing that on to your team members because it makes you feel better. You want to shield them of any pressure that's gonna get in the way of them not only doing their job well, but also them enjoying the job that they're doing. Don't be the one creating the stress and the burnout and the high turnover and the flight risks and the quiet quitting. You don't wanna be that kind of leader. That's not a leader, actually. Then I can't express this one enough. You absolutely need to set clear expectations and goals with your people. There is never too much communication when it comes to ensuring that your people are very clear on the expectations you have of them, the expectations you have of the business, the goals that have been set and defined. You wanna gain their understanding and their agreement to those expectations and the goals. And then you, lastly, you wanna ensure that you're prioritizing that clarity over any of the negative impact that's gonna come as a result of them not being clear. And that's going to be frustration and stress and that burnout because here You gave them an assignment, they went off and did it, they came back, it doesn't meet your expectation. Again, I'd have you first reflecting, was I clear? Did I give specific direction? Did I give them all the detail that they needed in order to do the job? You wanna ensure that you are prioritizing clarity over that chaos. You're prioritizing setting clear expectations those goals and ensuring that they understand before you let them go and gain that confirmation. So everyone's on the same page and there's great alignment between you and them. Let's talk about recognition because that's the fourth strategy you could be using when it comes to really ensuring that you're showing up for your team. As we mentioned before, Acknowledge, affirm, appreciate what it is that they're doing, even when they struggle. Recognition is very important to your team members. Even if it's not to you, it's very important to your team members. So whether it's public praise, whether it's in-floor praise, meaning amongst the team, whether it's one-on-one private reinforcement of someone's attempt, someone's success, someone's accomplishment, the journey versus the destination, whatever the case might be, acknowledge it, appreciate it, share it, and ensure that people know where you stand when it comes to their contribution and their value that they're bringing to the team. And at the same time, let team members really Take center stage. Find those opportunities to put the spotlight on your team members. They will reward you with such pride and loyalty and support that all of the people management type of, of challenges that many leaders have will just go away. And lastly, We talked about accountability already. You need to own your misses, your mistakes, your bad decisions, your rashness, your just overall your flaws, your blind spots, your weaknesses. You need to own them and be human to acknowledge that yes, you make mistakes too. Yes, you don't know everything. You're not the smartest person in the room. You do have these weaknesses, these blind spots. You know, you do have a lack of self-awareness. And to do that, you just simply ensure that you are showing accountability to them, just as you want them to acknowledge that they've made a mistake. You want them to be resilient and to bounce back from a challenge. So you need to show that that's what you're going to do, that even if you or the team flopped at something, you want to be the one to be motivating and inspiring and supporting the team to be resilient and to be persistent and to push through. But to do that, you need to model it for yourself, that if you have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, that you show your own resilience and your own determination to just walk through the fire and get to the other side. Now, what will get in your way of taking on one or all five of these strategies for showing up? I mentioned a couple of them throughout the, the discussion, but let me summarize a few of them because you need to get rid of these excuses. If you want to be an effective, influential, successful powerhouse leader. The first one is, I'm just too busy. Your job as a leader is a people leader, is to ensure that your people have what it is that they need in order to be the best people they can be. Keep in mind that didn't involve you. I didn't say for you to be the best leader you can be. You will become the best leader by making sure that your people are the best that they can be. The other excuse you do not want to be using, and it won't work on me, is, oh, they don't need me. They're capable of doing it. I don't need to spend all this time with one-on-ones and with group meetings, and I don't need to give them praise, and I don't need to do this, and I don't need to do that because they're very independent, they're self-initiators. And I mentioned this earlier, even those individuals need to know that you're there for them. They need you to show up for them. They need you to be present for them. So you brushing off your people leader responsibilities because they are totally capable of working without you is a really poor excuse. The last one being, I don't want to be a micromanager. We talked about it earlier, and yet it's an excuse that definitely has to go. Micromanaging isn't about you simply reaching out to them one-on-one and engaging them in a conversation of what's working, what's not working, what do they need, what do they not need, how can you support them? You know, to get to do their job and get the work done. Micromanaging is merely like getting in and doing their job. That's not what you're doing as a leader. As a leader, you're supporting them, you're coaching them, you're developing them, you're inspiring them. You're giving them what it is that they need in order to be the best individuals that they can be. So if anything you take away from here is please Get rid of the excuses that you're too busy, you don't wanna micromanage, or they don't need you. They are not serving you in any way, shape, or form. So let me summarize what we've talked about, cuz we've talked about a lot. We've talked about all the dimensions of what it means to show up, to be present for your team. We also talked about what small actions you could be taking that are going to create big results. Grand gestures, they're gonna create successes for your team members and as well for you. And then at the same time, we highlighted the fact that your team is watching you. They're watching whether or not you're showing up each and every day. They know if you are and they know if you're not, and they're making their judgment and their perceptions of you based on it. So what do you want your perception to be? How do you want your team members to describe you to others? If you're up for a promotion, up for an opportunity, and someone comes to them and asks, so how is Sally as your leader? What would you want her to say about you? Because trust me, they'll be very candid. About their feelings, their experiences, their perceptions. So what is it that you want them to be able to say about you? So think about that. Before we go, I want to give you a challenge for this week regarding this conversation. I want you to go to one of your team members and ask them what support do they need and want from you? And ensure that they answer that because they may at first be kind of apprehensive and, and suspicious as to why you're asking, but push through that and ask them sincerely and genuinely what it is, what support you could be providing them, and then act on it. Act on whatever request they have of you, whatever need they have of you. And then I would love for you to share your experience and the outcome of that challenge. You can email me at BernadetteBoas@ballofireinc.com and let me know. I'd love to hear about it. Now, if you are struggling in any way to really show up, be present, and to be the type of leader that you really want to be for your people, then schedule a free call with me and let's talk. I can give you tips and strategies within a 30-minute timeframe that will set you up to really go forward and be that powerhouse present leader. And be sure to follow the show at ballofirecoaching.com/podcast, where you can subscribe and follow us on YouTube or any one of the podcast streaming services. And I'll look forward to having you right back here for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Bye!

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen. And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.